"Those who abandon their mission are trash. Those who abandon their team, are even worse than trash."
It had taken a while to calm the genin down. Kakashi had told the other two that Naruto had a minor bloodline and he'd just need a night's rest and he'd be alright. Besides, Kakashi assured the trio, if he ever killed them, it would be entire purposeful.
His eyes smiled when he said it. None of them thought he was lying.
Kakashi loomed over the three genin. The killer, the avenger and the poor civilian.
"My best friend told me this. In this regard am a failure, and that stain will never go away."
Naruto was uncharacteristically quiet. Sakura looked stricken. Sasuke had carefully retreated inside of herself, face going carefully blank.
"I am telling you this for a few reasons. And to warn you."
Kakashi's one visible eye was closed. He looked weary, tired. Older than his twenty-seven years.
"If you decide to do this. If you decide to become soldiers of Konoha. I will break you."
His eye opened, a single dark eye scanning over the three genin. He had their rapt attention. Good.
"I will break you. And then I will rebuild you. I will break you once, so that you may never truly break again. You may bend. You may dent. But never break again. It won't be pleasant. Frankly, it will probably be the worst time of your lives."
He crouched down onto his haunches, putting himself at eye-level with the three genin. The tension was thick enough to be cut with a kunai.
"But. I can make you powerful. Independent. Incredible." He steepled his fingers, looking at the three of them in turn.
"It must be your choice. I'll give you three days to consider it. If you're in. Meet me here.
Underbelly
"Jeez..." Sakura was the one who voiced the team's feelings then. She realized Sasuke had been right to look down on her. She was just a girl playing ninja. Just a nobody from a civilian nobody family. She hadn't known. Well. Intellectually she had. But she had never had to look the truth in the face quite like that before. Soldiers. That was the word Kakashi had used.
She'd been swept up by the romanticism of it all, the idea of growing strong, spreading her wings, doing good and protecting her home. Like a heroine from a dashing tale.
That wasn't what Kakashi was offering to her.
What was he offering? He wasn't the type to mince words. But he also didn't speak clearly. Their interactions thus far had been murky and deceitful. He'd given them little and lied as he saw fit. What was it? She needed to think. She looked to her team, observing their expressions.
Sasuke was still withdrawn, that mask of cold indifference having slipped across her face. Kakashi's voice still echoed in her head. Indestructible. That's what she needed to be. That's what the Uchiha needed to be. To kill Itachi and restore her clan. She would take his offer. She would take his offer, even if it meant selling her soul and her hands to Konoha. Because he could make her powerful. And if it meant dragging Sakura and Naruto along, well. She could live with that.
Naruto was uncharacteristically still, he sat, knees pulled up under his chin, arms wrapped around his legs in a self-soothing gesture. His brow was furrowed as he stared out into space. A lot had happened in the last few days. It felt like more had happened to him in the last 72 hours, than had happened in the entirety of his life up to this point. And it all seemed to lead to this choice. This choice, about what he wanted. He'd gone on and on about it. Dreamt about it. Worked for it. He'd spilt blood, tears and sweat for it. And yet he found himself faltering now.
Because he'd had a taste. He'd had a taste, had it taken and then regained. He'd experienced the highest joy, the deepest sorrow and the coldest rage. He'd thought that he had to be powerful. Respected. Revered. To make even a single friend. But that wasn't true anymore. So maybe he didn't need this?
But then on the other hand. What else could he do? Nowhere respectable would hire him for a job. Not for a fair wage. Not where he would be comfortable. He couldn't go to school. He'd never cut it in higher education. He knew himself well enough to realize that much.
What else awaited him but a life in the slums? In the seedy underbelly of the village, where he would be doing the same damn thing as a Konoha shinobi? Just... For worse reasons.
"Fuck it." He stood up, brushing his knees off. He could barely feel the stab wounds in his back. Whatever Kakashi had given him it was good. "I ain't got anythin' else. I'll be here in three days."
Green and black eyes traced him as he rose. One pair wide, frightened. One pair cool and impassive. He squared his shoulders. His mouth split in that grin of his.
"I ain't cut out to live like a civilian. Work in a shop. Marry. Raise kids. Eat, shit, sleep, die. That'd be too boring for Uzumaki -fucking- Naruto."
Sasuke scoffed, brows furrowing. Of course it'd be something as inane as boredom. Though, she guessed he had a point. He knew himself well enough at least.
"I already knew what this life would be. Nothing has changed." Her voice was cool, her eyes half-lidded. She knew that the choice was momentous. That it would lock her on this path. But in a way it had never been a choice at all. The circumstances of her birth. The choices made by weak men, some before she was even born had sent her down this path.
Blue and black met Sakura's green. She felt cold, exposed, naked somehow. "I..." She started, swallowing her words quickly, not finding the right words, like a simple sentence couldn't express her the maelstrom of thoughts.
"I need to think." Sasuke turned away. No doubt with a disgusted look on her face, Sakura mused. She really was a weak little girl. She hadn't even been able to help. The only thing she'd really done was show she'd be willing to sacrifice the mission for one of her teammates. Sasuke and Naruto had composed the plan, executed on it, and fought well. She had been caught in a genjutsu. She shuddered at the memory of what she'd been shown, hoping to never see something like that again. Sakura realized she was staring down at the ground, at her feet. Her shoes were all muddy.
"Hey, that's what you do, right Sakura?" Her eyes snapped up when her name was called. Naruto was smiling, hand on his neck. "You're the smartest kunoichi in our class. You even have better theoretical grades than Sasuke! That's why you've been picked!"
Kakashi had still offered to take her. He'd extended the offer. She felt something blossom in her chest, warm and fuzzy. She lifted her chin, locking eyes with the blond, a hint of a smile on her lips.
"Yeah. Yeah, you're right. I can do this."
"Hell yeah you can! You're the best Sakura-chan!"
Sasuke just scoffed, pulling her shoulders, collar hiding the lower part of her face. "I'll see you here in three days then." She began walking away.
"Better fucking believe it, bastard!"
"Naruto!"
Kakashi felt bile rise in the back of his throat. He'd forgotten what Konoha actually looked like. It was so easy to forget when you were a shinobi. But the ironically named Flower District reminded him.
It was cramped, noisy, smelly and all around unhygienic. It was so easy to ignore the stench and cacophony when travelling by the roofs, but now, down here. He found it unbearable. Peddlers yelling, hocking cheap wares, prostitutes eyeing him, make up covering tired eyes and exhausted souls, children running, fighting, stealing.
You didn't gather a couple of hundred thousand people without problems.
He knew why Naruto lived here. He knew why he couldn't be shown any favouritism. He knew. But he didn't have to like it.
It didn't take him long to navigate to the right apartment building. Nothing fancy, one of hundreds that had been quickly constructed to house both refugees and the results of the baby-boom after the First Shinobi World War.
He made his way to the Naruto's apartment, eight floors up, right hand turn, third door on the left.
His fist rapped on the door.
"Ah! A second!" was the muffled reply, and just a few moments later, the door opened, just an inched, obviously chained. A singular blue eye met his singular dark one, eyebrow raising in surprise.
"Ah, Kakashi… Whaddya want?"
"Maa maa. That's Kakashi-sensei to you, Naruto-kun.
The eyebrow curled downwards.
"Hell it is. You haven't taught me anything yet. You also stabbed me."
The cyclops shrugged. He couldn't really argue with that. "Maa, either way. We need to have a conversation, a private one. So, you better let me in." He smiled, reassuringly, he was sure.
"Been cleaning, Naruto?" Kakashi asked. Knowing full well he hadn't been. But the scent of cleaning supplies was thick in the room.
"Mm, fell behind. Wasn't bothered too much after… You know." The blonde sipped at his tea, quietly wondering why Kakashi had asked for one if he wasn't going to drink it. "So, you know, deep cleaning."
Kakashi observed the blond sip his tea and lie to his face. And with such confidence. Very interesting. "Mm. I see." He held his tea mug, enjoying the warmth of it in his hands. "And it has nothing to do with the blood that you can't get out from under your fingernails? No matter how much you wash your hands?" He'd soon learn not to keep secrets from his sensei. Or to do it well.
Naruto balked, mouth falling slightly open. "I- Uh." Then he seemed to catch himself, taking a breath, retreating inward. He briefly considered lying, but Kakashi had already let him know he couldn't. He could tell Kakashi to fuck off. But there was no guarantee he would, and he couldn't really make him. And… Anyways. Kakashi might be able to help. Usually Naruto didn't believe in help, but he'd always known when someone was being straight with him. And he thought Kakashi was.
"I can see him. Mizuki. When I close my eyes. And sometimes my hands feel so… Sticky. And it won't really wash off."
Kakashi closed his one uncovered eye, sighing softly to himself.
"I heard you used the Shadow Clone technique."
"Yeah…"
"And I suppose you've realized. The memories?"
"Yeah."
"I'll teach you how to block it out, to not remember. Might even help you with your… Issue." He said, looking at the blonde's hands." Kakashi's one visible eye turned upwards, a tell-tale sign of his smile. "You're not going to like it though."
And so, Kakashi taught Naruto how to meditate.
He also told him that he did the right thing. That he wasn't bad for it. And that he was proud of him.
Sasuke always enjoyed the lake on her property. It was one of the few places that hadn't been… Tainted.
She pulled in one last large, deep breath. She really needed to get back to training. She could feel the metabolites melting out of her legs, signalling her that it was time to continue. She had to. To catch up. She opened her eyes, finding herself face to face with Kakashi. Her lips and eyebrows set in a frown.
"Wha-"
"Maa, Sasuke-chan, don't look so upset!" Kakashi interrupted her, his eye doing that thing that Sasuke found so annoying. "I've just come to check in on my little student." He could practically hear Sasuke grinding her teeth.
"I'm fine." She finally manages to grind out, unused to speaking on these grounds. Frankly she hadn't seen anyone else here for many years. Just her and the ghosts. They weren't good company. And suddenly, she found herself looking at the sky, struggling to breathe. Faster than she could properly perceive it, Kakashi had pinned her to the ground with his sandal-clad foot, pressing the air out of her lungs, staring down at her with that same, annoying look on his face.
"I want you to listen very carefully now, Sasuke-chan. Not just because your life is in my hands. Though it is." He punctuated his sentence with a vicious grind of his heel. "I know what you're planning." He held up a hand, cutting Sasuke's attempt at an interruption off. "I'm not here to tell you to stop, Sasuke."
This, caught Sasuke's attention. She stopped struggling, looking up at the jounin with that sullen look of hers, though, angrier even than usual.
"I'm here to instil a lesson." And the foot came off her chest. Only to ram in underneath her ribs. Hard. Her eyes widened, her body curling around the injury, any attempt at fighting back lost as the liver-shot overloaded her nervous system.
"I'm one of the very few people in this world with a real shot at killing Itachi. And I am one of two people who can teach you how to use those eyes of yours. Potentially I'm the only person, in the world, that can get you the skills you need to take him out."
Sasuke's only response was to whimper in pain as Kakashi grabbed her leg and pulled her upside down. He looked down at her face, meeting her eyes fearlessly, still smiling.
"I can also kill you at any moment I want. And I won't hesitate to do so, if you start getting ideas." He casually juggled her in one hand, flipping her upside down, catching her by the neck. "Work with me, and your team, and I will make you one of the most powerful shinobi this world has ever seen. Break my trust… And I will not hesitate to end your bloodline. We understand each other?"
Sasuke could only really gurgle in response.
"Fantastic!" Kakashi set her back down, grinning. He casually dusted her shoulders off, patting her down like she was a child that just fell over. And then, from somewhere, he procured a bento box. Which he proceeded to shove into Sasuke's hands.
"What?" She croaked, voice hoarse, so confused that she forgot to be enraged at the treatment.
"Dinner. Sasuke. You've been working too hard. Remember that rest-days are growth-days. You overtrain. A lot. You're not allowing yourself to recover. You're breaking your muscles down, but not letting them heal. You're filling your mind with strategies and techniques, but you're not letting them simmer and settle." Kakashi pulled his yellow book out, cracking it open to a favourite passage. "You're wasting your potential."
Sasuke said nothing, a sour look on her face. But… He might have a point. She wouldn't neglect sharpening her kunai. She wouldn't neglect inspecting her wire spools. She wouldn't neglect maintaining her clothes, or her medical supplies… She was being nicer to her equipment than herself.
She suddenly felt very silly, a flush creeping up her cheeks, caking her face in that warm, muddy sensation.
"Y'get me, Sasuke-chan?"
She nodded. "I… Get you."
He practically beamed at her as he vanished in a swirl of leaves.
She would sit at that lake for well into the night, nursing a bruised side and digging into the bento. The tomato ohitashi was her favourite. She wondered how he knew.
The sound of knuckles rapping on a door echoed in the quaint abode of Haruno Mebuki. And it was quaint. Commonly described as a domestic goddess, Mebuki took well care of her house. It was clean, well kept, smelt nice and was thoroughly decorated. The plants were always watered, there was always a beautiful bouquet from Inoichi's on the dining table. Most anywhere that could support it was covered in lace and knitted doilies. She liked making doilies.
It was not the sort of home Kakashi had really ever expected to find himself in. Well. Not outside of a mission at least.
"Ah, Haruno-san, I presume?"
The woman that opened the door was beautiful, Kaskashi thought, in a comely, domestic way. He imagined she'd a be a sight to see at a date-night. But, then again, she might look awkward in a backless, low cut number, maybe wobbly in heels. Here, in her natural habitat, her confidence was almost overpowering.
In slippers and an apron that looked well worn and comfortable, she smiled at him. "Ah! Kakashi-sama." She greeted him. It wasn't surprising. A lot of people recognized him. And if nothing else guessing would be easy. "Please, come in."
Kakashi did so, stepping inside the Haruno residence. He felt… Wrong. Like something dirty and taboo dragged into a shrine. People like him didn't belong in homes like these, he had no right to bring the rivers of blood under his feet into this place.
"Ah, thank you, Haruno-san."
"Sakura! Your sensei is here!" Mebuki called up the stairs. "Tea, Kakashi-sama?"
Kakashi shook his head in the negative. "Thank you, but no, I will be borrowing Sakura for a few hours. Training." Had he been a worse ninja, he might not have caught the apprehension in Mebuki's face. But to him it was obvious plain as day. The slight tightening in her lips, an almost imperceptible widening of her eyes.
Whatever she was about to say, it was interrupted by Sakura barreling down the stairs, almost missing a step when she laid eyes on Kakashi.
"Sensei?"
He smiled, even though he wasn't to enjoy the conversation to come.
Actually he hadn't enjoyed any of the conversations he'd had today.
"Come with me, we've got some things to discuss. Thank you very much, Haruno-san. I will have your daughter back to you soon."
And they left.
They ended up by the little bridge they had met at before their test. There was something beautiful about the bridge to Kakashi. The stream was barely an obstacle even to a civilian. Really you'd just get you feet wet if you crossed it. But the bridge had been built. Requiring at least a day or two of construction Kakashi reckoned, at least from a civilian. And there it stood. Keeping people's feet dry. A sign that even a civilian could master their environment.
Sakura didn't seem at all as impressed with the bridge with Kakashi. In fact, she'd been gloomy and fidgety the entire walk there, uncharacteristically not saying a single word.
"Sakura I-"
"Look! I already know what you're about to say! I know I'm weak! I know I froze! I know I'm useless! But you can't kick me off! You can't!"
Kakashi blinked. He hadn't really expected this.
"I don't care what my mom told you! I'm not quitting! I'm not!
Kakashi tilted his head.
Sakura was blushing now, realizing that she may have jumped the whistle.
"You didn't seem this sure, the other day." Kakashi remarked, head still tilted quizzically.
Sakura turned, looking off to the side, running a hand back through her hair. "I can't stand the way she looks at me." She said after a pregnant pause, the energy slowly draining out her. "It goes between smug and concerned. She goes between being concerned that I'll be hurt… And smug. Because she thinks I'll quit any day now."
She sits down, folding her legs in underneath herself, hugging them to her body.
"I can't do it." She murmurs, resting her knees on her chin.
Kakashi decided to just listen.
"I can't… I can't let my life be… Find a husband. Marry. Have kids. Knit. Cook. Clean. I can't do it." She looked out over the stream, eyes puffy, a few tears having escaped. "And I won't do it."
Kakashi sighed, reaching into his pocket, retrieving a small pill bottle. He tossed it to Sakura. She almost missed the catch.
"Sensei?" She asked, looking up at him.
"Suicide pills. Swallow one, and it passes through your system, harmlessly." He crossed his arms. "Bite down on it. And you're dead within seconds." He felt queasy and weak to his stomach. "You're going to be a kunoichi Sakura. And capture is usually worse than death."
And with that, he left her.
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