Trigger Warning: Suicide

After his battle with Ann, Naraku had fled as far to the north as he could. He knew that Sesshomaru would be searching for him after what had happened with Rin, so by disappearing he hoped to stall that encounter until he was more prepared.

As he sat in a darkened room of his new hidden castle, his mind replayed his battle with Ann over and over again.

"How can this human be so strong?" he wondered angrily. "Just when I think I've defeated her, she finds a way to stop me." He gritted his teeth, frustrated. "I would assume she was drawing on the power of the Shikon, but I never sense it in her attacks. Luck just seems to be on her side."

"That poses another problem." He continued to turn the problem over in his mind. "I wanted to take her when her feelings were at their lowest. I missed my opportunity after her family died and now, she's healing." He saw it in the way she fought during their last encounter. They were closely matched. He had kept her on the run during much of their battle, but she had been composed.

"During our battle where I injured Sesshomaru, she was angry." He grinned at the memory of her barely contained rage. She had been like a pot of water about to boil over. "If only I could have taken her then, the light from the Shikon Jewel would have been breathtaking."

Now she was changing, and he had to wonder if it had something to do with Sesshomaru, another twist that Naraku could not have imagined.

"Why is he aiding her?" Naraku mused. "It seems uncharacteristic of him to keep a human just to thwart me. Is there something more?" Naraku's eyes narrowed. "Is he following in his father's footsteps? If that is the case, I need to get to Ann soon."

His eyes turned to the windows of his room. They glowed ominously, reflecting the barrier and miasma outside.

"If Sesshomaru begins to care for her, I may never get close again." He considered a moment before coming to a conclusion. "Maybe it is time for me to take the fight to them."

When Sesshomaru awoke, the sky was just beginning to lighten with the rising sun. He was still in Ann's futon, and she was securely wrapped in his arms, her naked body warm and soft against his body. His grip tightened on her, the need to seat himself in her warmth again overwhelming. She had fit him like a glove, her tightness surrounding him and gripping him in a way that had been mind-blowing. His fingers began to trace a path along her hip when a thought froze him.

"What am I doing?" As his eyes roved over her, Sesshomaru realized he had begun to view Ann differently. She exhibited strength and determination, not to mention compassion. All traits that he held in high regard, but she was still human. Confusion tore through him as he struggled with his emotions. Ann had proved herself to be a worthy ally, but how had he allowed their relationship to reach this place.

As she sighed and wiggled in closer to him, he knew her body was definitely a component. Ever since he'd first held her, seen her body bared to him, smelled her scent, she'd been a sliver in his mind. Even now, with all his conflicted thoughts, he still wanted to wake her in some of the most delicious ways with her cries of pleasure and his name on her tongue. As he had gotten to know her, Ann's personality had only made her more compelling, a package he couldn't resist.

But what of Naraku? He was out there somewhere, his crimes going unpunished, possibly doing more damage. What if Naraku found Ann again? What if he defeated her this time? Memories of Ann at Naraku's mercy played in his mind. A sense of disgust washed over him as he realized he had allowed himself to be distracted. A weakness that should not be tolerated. This had been his father's folly. If not for that human woman, would his father not have defeated Ryūkotsusei? Sesshomaru had to wonder.

Carefully disentangling himself from Ann, he left her bed and dressed.

"Naraku is my focus. He must not complete the Shikon," he thought resolutely. "I need to search for him, and maybe find some clarity in the process." His gaze flicked back to Ann, her face relaxed in sleep. A shred of regret began to form in his mind about leaving her, but he shook it off. "Leaving is necessary. We both need to harden ourselves for the coming battle. Emotions will only get in our way."

Turning from her, Sesshomaru quickly traversed the corridors of his home and stepped out into the crisp, morning air. Determined to do his duty, he strode forward into the forest that surrounded his castle, forcing his focus on to the task at hand.

When Ann awoke, her room was bathed in a golden glow from the morning sun. A different kind of glow warmed her body as she stretched her limbs, which were pleasantly sore from the intimacies she'd shared with Sesshomaru. She reached out for him only to find bare mattress. Her eyes shot open, and she glanced around the room, only to find she was alone. Ann pulled her blankets tight against her chest, an ache forming there.

"He left," she thought, suddenly feeling inadequate. Had she just been a distraction? Her mind replayed their time together. His gaze piercing her, his hands gripping her, his whispered command. She blushed at the memories of those moments, but they also made her heart hurt all that much more. The emptiness was returning.

"He felt something in those moments," she whispered, confused. "I know he did." A tap sounded at her door. Ann quickly sat up expectantly.

"Come in." The door slid open to reveal Kai with a breakfast tray. Disappointment shot through Ann, but she managed a smile. Kai stepped through the door and smirked knowingly. Glancing down at herself, Ann realized she was naked except for the blanket she had wrapped around herself. She turned several shades of red. She opened and closed her mouth several times, wanting to say something, but not sure where to start.

"You know you don't have to say anything," Kai said sweetly, her eyes twinkling. "We all know what happened. You two weren't very quiet." Ann could feel her face get even hotter.

"I'm never going to be able to leave my room again," she said, horrified. Kai laughed as she continued into the room, setting the breakfast tray next to Ann.

"Now, now. You might get teased, mainly from me," she beamed. "But nobody is going to mind that you and our lord have finally decided to be together. Our lord needs a little perspective on relationships."

"He's not going to want me again," Ann said. Now that the embarrassment was wearing off, the hole in her heart was opening again. Kai paused, confused.

"Why not?"

"It was a mistake," Ann whispered.

"Did he tell you that?" Ann shook her head. "Then how do you know?"

"He's not here." A lump was rising in Ann's throat. She clenched the blankets, trying so hard not to cry. She glanced at Kai, and felt the pain increase at the look on her face. Kai's smile dimmed, as she sighed.

"I'm sure he'll come to his senses. He did just spend the night with a human. He's probably just trying to work things out." Ann turned from Kai and yanked the blanket over her head. The tears were coming. "Ann, give him time..." Kai started, but Ann interrupted her.

"Please stop, Kai. I just need to be alone for a while." Kai sighed again. Her footsteps could be heard crossing the wood floor as she left the room, the door clicking shut behind her. The dam broke, and Ann began to sob.

"Why did I think he could fix me? Now I'm even more alone than I was before. And Ichiro. I will have to answer for this." She curled into a tight, pitiful ball, sobbing until her face was swollen. When she had no tears left, she allowed her exhaustion to take her off to sleep.

The days passed slowly, with Ann's guilt returning in full force. The disappearance of Rin was, in Ann's mind, another death to load on her conscious. She kept replaying those moments in her mind, watching Rin fall towards the water, and her attempt to save her.

"If only I understood my powers, maybe she'd be here instead of god knows where." This line of thinking inevitably fueled her anger too. "I don't understand why nobody taught these things to me. Grandma wanted to push etiquette on me, but when it came time for something that effects lives, not important."

Her feelings between Ichiro and Sesshomaru weighed on her as well. She loved Ichiro and wished to see him again. The promise she'd made to herself was something she still planned on fulfilling. But she loved Sesshomaru too. Ann couldn't understand why her heart was doing this to her, but it was the truth. The confusion gnawed at her, making each day harder and harder to face.

At first Ann tried to fill her days with tasks. Mainly she spent time in the dojo, practicing with weapons and her powers, but her memories waited for her there too. Training with Rin, moments of intimacy with Sesshomaru. These memories only made the dojo fill hollow. The sounds of her efforts to prepare for Naraku echoing deadly around the empty room as if she were in a crypt.

Eventually, Ann found she preferred staying in her room. There she only had to face her memories, not like when she was out and about the castle. Everybody knew what she'd done with Sesshomaru, and they knew he'd left. Their curious stares were much worse than the demons that waited for her to be alone.

Kai tried to alleviate Ann's loneliness with conversations and trying to draw her into learning herbalism. Ann made an attempt to take interest, but it quickly became too much with her conflicting emotions taking up all of her energy.

More time passed, and the demons tightened their hold on Ann. She was so embroiled in her pain and regrets that she couldn't have climbed out if she wanted to. Her dreams began to manifest everything bad that had happened to her, which led to her having panic attacks at night. She could no longer sleep, or even just lie down. It made her mind fill with a fear that she hadn't even felt in the presence of Naraku. Night after night of the panic attacks and the sleeplessness, finally led to her breaking point.

Night was falling, and dark clouds moved in with heavy rain, making the night even darker. Ann watched out the window, a sense of foreboding rising up inside herself. She could feel the cold grip of a panic attack forming. She clenched her teeth, looking around her room desperately for something to stop the incoming onslaught.

"I can't do this," she whispered, her breathing coming in short bursts as the fear started to take root. "I need to get out." She raced from her room, but instead of going downstairs, she went up. "Can't let them see me." she whispered, as she thought of the servants below. The stairs opened out onto the third floor and Sesshomaru's room. His scent immediately assaulted Ann's senses causing her to cry out in more pain as she ran across the room. Throwing a door open, she found a balcony. The rain was still coming down heavily to the point where she couldn't hear anything but its fall.

Ann stepped out into it, holding her hands up, allowing it to wet her. She then stepped to the edge of the balcony and looked over. The height made her dizzy, but she also felt a strange calm. It would be so easy to fall like the rain. To hit the ground, allowing everything to shatter into a million pieces and disperse. She climbed up onto the railing, grasping one of the support columns as she stood. She hung a foot out over the empty space, leaning. None of her demons whispered to her in this moment. They were waiting with bated breath.

Ann's grip loosened on the column, gravity pulling at her. There was nothing but her, the rain and the ground far below. She closed her eyes, letting go. A strong hand suddenly grabbed her arm and pulled her back. The sudden change in direction threw her off balance and she fell against a solid body. Her eyes flew open, and she found herself staring into the golden eyes of a very angry Sesshomaru. She gasped, her twisted emotions reigniting all over again.

"Ann, what are you doing?" he demanded, his voice low and fierce. She shook her head, confused and ashamed. Ann tried to pull herself from his grip, but Sesshomaru held fast. He drew her closer. "Answer me, Ann."

Ann crumbled and began to cry uncontrollably. Every doubt and regret were being released in the form of tears. Sesshomaru didn't say anything else. He merely pulled her into his arms and carried her inside.