At eight and ten moons little Mya was not so little anymore. She was a head taller than other children her age and already getting into all manner of trouble around the servant's quarters. As soon as she saw Robert coming, she cried out to him.
"Paaaaa! Up! Up!" she demanded arms outstretched. Robert laughed and obliged picking her up and tossing her high up into the air with her laughing wildly all the time. He saw his girl's mother, a young servant who was still only a few moons over seven and ten standing a respectful distance away looking on with a cautious smile. Her name was Piper and was the daughter of a hunter sworn to house Arryn who had perished helping repulse a mountain clan raid. Since her mother died in childbirth she had no real family, and was taken in by Lord Ronnel in recognition of her father's service to the house. She was, before having Mya, quite beautiful in her own right. Carrying such a large child however did her figure little favors, and she had yet to lose the extra weight the pregnancy brought. Robert wondered if that was why he had lost interest in her so quickly after his child had been born. If that was the case, then no wonder the Maiden looked so unfavorably on him. Robert decided that he would try to do right by her, at least to the extent that society allowed. But first he had a daughter to play with. He gave Piper an acknowledging nod before chasing after Mya who had wriggled out of his grasp and was heading off towards the yard.
Robert loved his little girl and he'd be damned if anyone looked down upon her for her status. He thought back to his previous life. How many bastards had he ended up fathering? More than he knew for certain. Edric Storm was a fine young man by all accounts, the boy would always send thank you letters in response to the name day gifts Jon was obviously sending on his behalf. He thought about Jon Snow and the scorn he had to endure from Catelyn and others who saw him as a product of sin. He vaguely remembers a Septon droning on about the base nature of bastards. Robert had to admit that there were some right pieces of shit to use as case studies as to why one should keep to their own marriage bed. But weren't there just as many paragons of humanity who's names were snow, waters, stone and the like? Maybe he should actually look into this, he was sure there was a copy of the Seven-Pointed Star in Jon's solar. Regardless, this time around he wouldn't let anything keep him from raising his daughter at his side.
He thought back to the time he had mentioned bringing Mya to the Red Keep to Cersei. Joffrey had just cut open that poor cat and Robert, enraged that his seed could do such a horrible act, struck the child hard enough to knock out some of his baby teeth. He instantly knew that he had overreacted and in one of his few moments of self-control stopped himself from taking the beating further. He remembered that harpy of a wife screaming and threatening, but there was nothing she could have done if he truly meant the boy more harm. In that moment he felt so alone and craved to have his daughter with him. To have at least one child that actually felt like family. It was the next day that he spoke to Cersei about it. Her response was so filled with venom and spite. "The city is not a healthy place for a growing girl" she had said. It was the first time he had struck his wife in anger. When his rage had subsided enough, and he had finally sobered up from the resulting drinking binge, he realized that bringing Mya to the Red Keep would most likely see her killed, and if that had happened, he would have most likely done something unspeakable in his resulting rage. So, he drowned his sorrow and loneliness in wine and women.
After reliving that memory, he couldn't help but feel a pang of sorrow and regret for his trueborn children. Joffrey was a vicious little piece of shit, that was just objectively true. Perhaps if that wasn't the case, he could have laid down the crown years ago. That day on the Trident he had half a mind to side with little Arya over his son. Her version of the story sounded more plausible. If only her sister had spoken up, he could have done more to discipline his heir. But what truly brought him pain was examining who was at fault for his boy's piss poor personality. Robert would be more than happy to pin it all on his bitch of a wife, but that would just be him falling back on an old coping method. No, Joffrey was his son and he had neglected to raise him right. Looking back, he seriously doubted he would have been able to be a good father even if he wanted to. What paths in life had Joffrey been given? He could be a weak pretty boy beholden to his mother or a raging alcoholic philanderer like his father. Maybe if Cersei didn't have her claws so deep in her boy, he could have shipped him off to foster with Ned. All of his best friend's kids turned out well, they all had their faults, but compared to Joffrey they were saints. He supposed Myrcella and Tommen turned out alright. Well, he hadn't heard anything truly horrible about them. If he was perfectly honest, he didn't really know all that much about them. His experience with Joffrey had him withdraw from all of his children's lives. Just one more instance of him ignoring a problem rather than facing it.
The screams and laughter of his daughter pulled him from these darker thoughts. He knew that if he kept brooding on his past failures, it would just drive him to drink again. He would never forget his mistakes, but he had to somehow make peace with them. He had to accept his past so that he could be a better man, and better father, and a better lord.
Robert ended up spending a good hour of the afternoon playing and with his daughter and he had even managed to get the ever-stoic Ned to laugh and make faces at his little toddler. You wouldn't think it, but Eddard, beneath the stoic and honorable exterior, was just a big softy when it came to little children. Eventually, however, even the energy of a toddler will wain and it was time for Mya to take a nap. Her mother collected the sleepy child, smiling brightly at how well Robert treated their daughter. Mixed feelings flooded into Robert once again. Of course, thoughts of the passionate times they had together came to mind. He tried to put those aside though, knowing that dwelling on them would only lead to temptation. He remembered when she came to him terrified with news that she had quickened with their child. Echoes of the same emotions he felt then rippled in his heart: dread, love, excitement, and many others he was ill equipped to put a name to. Even then he knew that the difference in their stations meant that they could never be the family he truly desired. He steeled himself once again so that he could do right by this woman.
He followed her to her room where she began to tuck Mya into a crib that would soon be too small to hold the growing child. Robert would personally see to it that his little girl would have the most comfortable beds to sleep on. Ned followed behind with a certain amount of tension visible in his posture. Robert happily bade the rapidly fading toddler sweet dreams before standing and looking towards her mother.
"Ned, do you mind going to the yard ahead of me and preparing my horse? I have something to discuss with Mya's mother."
"Robert…" Ned had a cold tone of warning in his voice. Robert couldn't blame him. He knew what this looked like.
"I swear to you Ned, I only need to talk with her for a moment. I will not do anything that would jeopardize things with Lyanna." Ned didn't quite look convinced. "Look, we'll keep the door open. Please Ned, give us a moment of privacy." Eddard finally relented, giving Robert a quick not before turning to leave the room.
"What can I do for you, my lord?" Piper spoke first. Robert couldn't quite read her. He knew she was smart enough to realize that his intentions were not physical in nature, but the way she nervously chewed on her lip perhaps hinted at a hope, or perhaps even a worry, that it was. Robert's body rebelled against his will at the sight. It was that same look that that inflamed his passions in the first place. Even if her looks were diminished by the pregnancy, she was by no means homely. He closed his eyes and thought of Lyanna taking deep breaths to calm himself. Their physical relations were hardly Piper's fault. He doubted she set out to seduce the young lord, and he had plenty of guilt for not caring to control his base desires.
"I wanted to discuss Mya's future with you. Within the coming years, I will be married to a highborn lady, and should she be amenable, I would recognize Mya as my own and raise her just as I would a trueborn daughter. You can imagine that it might not sit well with my future wife or my bannermen if you were to accompany her." Robert looked his former lover in the eyes and saw them gleaming with unshed tears.
"My Lord Baratheon, I'd be a right fool if I didn't want the very best for my little Mya. She is your blood even if she was born on the wrong side of the sheets and I'd like her to know that. If it means giving her up, then I guess that's just the way it has to be." She finished with a quivering voice and her attempt at a brave smile.
"That's not all Piper," Robert said as he steeled himself to continue. "I wanted to apologize to you." Her face shifted into one of confused shock.
"Apologize? M'lord" she quickly added attempting to remain polite despite the circumstance.
"Yes, apologize. I have come to realize just how my impulsive nature could hurt those around me, highborn and smallfolk alike. You deserved better than a young wild lord who quickened you and then set you aside when he grew tired of you. You deserved a good man who would love and take care of you. I will not forget that you gave me a precious daughter. I will see that you are provided for, and should you find a man who will treat you and love you as you deserve, I will set aside a small dowry in your name."
"My lord, this is too much! The Arryn's treat me well enough. And you've given me Mya even if for just a little while. I don't deserve anything else." She said, tears now streaming down her cheeks.
"Yes, but I am the one planning on taking her from you. I do not wish to make it seem like I am buying you off. This is just the only way I can start atoning for my sins. If there is anything you wish, if it is reasonable and within my power, I would see it done. It is the least I can do for the mother of my child." Robert gave Piper a final nod, looked upon his daughter with a caring gaze, then turned to leave the room.
"M'lord, I…" Piper called out, seeming to almost regret speaking up.
"Yes?" Robert replied hesitantly, stopping but not turning around.
"My lord," she tried steadying her quavering tone, "When she gets older. Please make sure Mya knows she has a mother that loves her, and if it's possible, can I see her if you visit the Eyrie again."
"You have my word." Robert said
Emotions once again roiled within him as he made his way to the training yards. He really only knew a few ways to work through them. Taking a wench to bed was now off the table, it was too early in the day to drink his problems away, so violence was all he was left with. Entering the yard, he went straight for his hammer.
"I thought you were going to practice jousting?" Ned called out as Robert changed into his training leathers.
"I need to work some shit out Ned." Robert growled as he moved over to the training dummies and started swinging away with all of his considerable strength. About half an hour and three destroyed training dummies later Robert finally felt as if the tension from before had dissipated. He wasn't sure if he had actually worked out his emotional distress, but at least the mindless violence had buried it for a while. He should probably find a better way of working through these things, as he was pretty sure the Master-of-Arms wouldn't want to have to keep replacing all of his equipment.
"Feeling better?" Ned asked with a no-nonsense tone.
"Yup, now it's time to practice hitting people with sticks on horseback." If pansies like Jaime Lannister, Loras Tyrell, and Rhaegar Targaryen could be considered masters of the tilt, it couldn't be all that hard.
A/N As always thank you for the comments, advice, and encouragement. I also made some small changes to the dialog in chapter 2. I am going to try to make sure Robert's personality doesn't feel so radically different that he seems like a new character all together. I want him to feel like a man who has been shown all his faults and their impact on the world. He'll be more focused on correcting those faults more than anything else. Hopefully this chapter does a decent job of that. As a note, he has yet to really consider his relationships with his blood brothers to be one of those faults. If there is any change there it would be as a general result of him trying to be more dutiful overall.