The sun was well into its journey when Robert finally roused from sleep. He blinked a few times slowly clearing away his drowsiness all the while wondering if what he experienced the previous night had actually happened or if it had all been a dream. As much as he could have wished that it was a dream, the memories were too vivid to be anything but truth. He had heard, or more accurately felt, the voice of the Crone telling him that not all fates could be changed. Robert felt his anger rising at that statement and refused to acknowledge what it could mean, but the words kept echoing in his mind. Bran had called him king, and so it seemed as if it was fate for him to rebel. His thoughts drifted to all those who had died in the events leading up to and during the rebellion. How many lives were destined to be brutally cut short? What injustice would the dragons force upon him in order for him to call his banners in defiance of their rule once again. Fury roiled in his heart as he thought of Rhaegar daring to lay a hand on Lyanna. The Crone had said that not ALL fates could be changed, and Robert vowed right then and there that he would change her fate. He might not be destined to live the perfect life he had wanted, but by all the gods he would do everything in his power to keep Lyanna and the Starks from suffering the same loss they had previously.
A Knock on the door finished rousing him from the final vestiges of slumber. He sat up and called out for his visitor to enter. Within moments, Eddard walked into his room.
"Good morning Rob, you were missed when the family broke our fast." Ned stopped when he saw Robert's grim expression. "Have the dreams returned?"
"That and more. I saw your son last night." Robert said in a low and troubled voice. Eddard just stared with his mouth open, not knowing how to respond. Eventually he found his words.
"Start from the beginning." He said taking a seat next to Robert on the bed. And so, Robert explained the events of the previous night. Eddard was stunned to say the least but managed to reply. "Do you know what this means? You are destined to take the Iron Throne, and I am destined to wed Catelyn in Brandon's place."
Robert was just silent, barely holding his anger in check. He wanted to scream and yell and destroy the furniture in his room, and perhaps if Ned hadn't been there, he would have done so. The silence between them carried on uncomfortably for a few more moments until Eddard spoke up again.
"Knowledge of the future is a burden, but you aren't going to bear it alone. We know two things for certain, and the rest is still a mystery to us. Dark times may be on the way, but I'll be with you every step of the way" He spoke quietly with an iron resolve, placing a hand on Robert's shoulder. Robert felt his anger begin to wane and the tension in his shoulders drain away at his friend's words.
"Right, we'll face it together like we always have." Robert said managing a smile. "We just need to keep moving forward and save as many people as we can."
"Aye, but first let's get you ready and fed. The men are beginning to enjoy your presence on the training yard, I'm sure you'd hate to disappoint them." Eddard said, playing into Robert's desire to be admired by those around him. "And you can't forget that you promised Lyanna a ride today."
"That I did." Robert said with a laugh, his anger had subsided but the embers still burned hot.
"I'll have the kitchens prepare a meal for you. Make yourself presentable and I'll meet you out on the yards. Some physical exercise will do you good after all this talking."
"You know me well Ned." Robert said now grinning ear to ear. Robert went undefeated in his spars once they had made it to the yard. Robert was letting out all of the anger and emotion he had felt that morning, and those around him could tell that he was different from the previous day. He was more focused and precise, his eyes hard and less jovial. Only Eddard managed to stand against him for longer than a minute or two. Eventually, Robert worked through his emotions and returned to his more gregarious self, much to the relief of those training on the yard.
After taking some time to clean himself up and have share a mid-day meal with Eddard, it came time for he and Lyanna's ride.
"Good day my Lady." He greeted her as he ambled up to the stables. She smiled and returned his greeting.
"Your horse m'lord." Walder said politely, bringing over Robert's steed.
"Thank you boy, you've been doing a great job taking care of him. His coat looks pristine." Robert replied and the boy beamed. Mounting up, he motioned to Lyanna and they once again started out the Hunter's Gate. She looked back at him with that mischievous grin, but this time he was ready and they both shot off at a gallop across the snowy flatlands towards the Wolfswood, their escort following far behind while sighing in resignation.
Robert once again attempted to follow Lyanna through the various game trails once they entered the woods, but still struggled to keep up. Eventually he found her waiting for him by a mostly frozen stream.
"I'm glad you finally decided to join me, Robert." She teased
"Well, you didn't make it easy." He laughed but noticed that her smile didn't quite reach her eyes. He then remembered their exchange from the previous night. "Is everything alright Lyanna? You didn't seem yourself at the meal last night."
"Maybe I'm not quite feeling like myself." She said with a sigh. She looked at him in the eyes and Robert saw the conflict in her steel grey eyes. "I always knew it would be my duty to marry some lord in order to cement an alliance. But now that it is official, I find myself feeling like the walls are closing in, like I feel my freedom slowly slipping away. People are starting to treat me differently in little ways."
"I know the feeling actually. Feeling trapped by responsibility and wanting to run away from it all. There are times where I wanted to just board a ship heading for Bravos and live life as a sellsword with no obligations or responsibility. That's what I told Jon Arryn not long after my parents passed, after I officially became lord of Storm's End. He told me that there is a kind of freedom in accepting responsibility, choosing to accept it and make it a part of you. I didn't listen to him then, I called him crazy. Now I think I'm starting to wrap my head around it." Robert shared thoughtfully.
"You are right, it does sound crazy." She responded with a disbelieving tone.
"Right, well, Like I said we've got years before we are to be married. Hopefully, by then marriage won't seem like a prison." Robert said trying to comfort her. Lyanna gave an unladylike grunt to show her disbelief. "Listen Lyanna, I swear that I am not looking to shackle you or force you to be someone who you aren't. Yes, there will be responsibilities as lady of Storm's End, but I know you will rise to the occasion in your own way."
"Thank you." Replied quietly. There was an awkward silence between them until Robert spoke up trying to lighten the mood.
"I believe you said you'd give me some advice on riding, maybe then I could manage to at least keep you in sight." He said with a good-natured chuckle.
"Yes, I did, didn't I." She said playfully her mood improving instantly once the topic had shifted to her favorite pastime. "So, when I watch you ride, you are so focused on commanding your steed that you don't always have time to focus on what is coming next or to focus on anything else. It is what is holding you back in the joust. You are so worried about controlling your horse that you can't focus on landing the blow, or if you focus on landing the blow you lose control of your steed. You need to trust your horse more."
"That's it? Trust my horse?" Robert said not quite believing that it was that simple.
"Yes, your horse is more than a mindless beast that must be controlled and forced to do your bidding. They love to run, jump, and play. They know how to do so from the moment they are born. You just need to learn how to communicate your goal to them and trust that they will take you the rest of the way." Lyanna said with excitement and a sparkle in her eye.
Robert rubbed the back of his neck as he considered her words. It made sense in a way, there was no way Lyanna was able to ride so effortlessly through the winding paths if she had to command her mount around every corner and over every log. It seemed like her and her horse were sharing the same mind sometimes. Robert had to admit that her explanation held merit, and on top of that he found himself enthralled by the passion she showed while talking about her favorite pastime.
"Thank you Lyanna, you make it sound so simple."
"Well, it is simpler than you'd think. It does take time to build that bond properly, and the hardest part is learning to up the control that you have relied on so far. But once you do, and you are working hand in hand with your mount, it is like experiencing a whole new level of freedom. Sometimes I…" She paused looking embarrassed.
"Sometimes you what?" Robert asked genuinely curious about what she was going to say.
"Sorry, I haven't really told anyone other than my brothers about this." She hesitated before continuing. "Sometimes when riding on especially perfect days, I swear I start to see the world through my horse's eyes, feel the pounding of his hoofs on the solid earth, and share the exhilaration of letting loose across flower covered fields." She closed her eyes as she relived those memories, a beautiful smile on her face. Robert was slowly falling in love with this side of the she-wolf of Winterfell. The way she spoke and held herself was so different from all the other women he had in his life. When she opened her eyes and looked at him, she blushed and looked away.
"I'm sorry, you must think I'm strange." She said shyly
"No, thank you for sharing something so special to you. It reminds me of Old Nan's stories a little, of Skinchangers and Wargs." Robert said not thinking too much about what he was saying.
"What? I'm not a skinchanger. Besides, magic is gone from the world. And when did you talk to Old Nan?" She said defensively.
"Could've fooled me" Robert mumbled.
"What was that?" She shot back now looking a little angry.
"Sorry, I spoke to Old Nan for some time yesterday. Also, don't tell Howland that magic has left the world." Robert said with a smile.
"Really?" Lyanna's expression instantly changed, she practically glowed with excitement. "What did you see?"
"It was as if he could control the land itself with a whisper. I saw him conjure dry land when there was once nothing but swamp. It was incredible. I think the old tales have more truth in them than people think." Robert said with a wonderous tone. Lyanna's excitement shifted into a bit of nervousness.
"I dream sometimes." She said quickly, as if she wasn't sure she wanted to share. "In summer, I dream that I am out in paddocks, as if I am in the mind of my horse."
"That's… amazing." Robert wasn't sure exactly how to respond. It was not everyday you find out that your betrothed has abilities like a character from an old folk tale.
"You don't think I am some kind of witch, do you?" She said with a challenging tone, sitting up higher in her saddle.
"No, no, If you are a warg it's because of your blood. It's a gift from the old gods to the Starks. Besides, I am the last person to judge someone for their oddities." Robert said holding up his hands placatingly. Lyanna's face changed, and she raised an eyebrow in suspiciously.
"What do you mean by that?"
Robert quickly realized he had made another slip. He wanted to change the topic and deflect, but that wouldn't be fair for Lyanna. She had just shared a deeply personal secret with him, and it wouldn't be right to withhold information from her now. Not to mention it would undo a lot of the progress he had made with her to this point. But at the same time, he knew he couldn't burden her with the whole truth.
"I have dreams as well, but mine are of things that haven't happened yet." He said carefully
"Lots of people have dreams, how do you know they are anything special." She challenged.
"Some of my dreams have come true, and they are more like memories than dreams. It is complicated and one of the reasons I wanted to hear Old Nan's stories." Robert explained. It looked like Lyanna wanted to keep pressing when they heard the voice of their escort calling out. "Look, this isn't something we should discus around others. I think we should start heading back. Thank you for sharing such a personal secret with me."
"Thank you for sharing too, Robert. I hope sometime soon you'll tell me more about your dreams." She said with a smile before guiding her horse in the direction they heard their escort calling. Robert let out a sigh knowing that he just barely dodged revealing his secret to another. Perhaps someday he would reveal the whole truth to her, but not yet.
Their trip back to Winterfell was pleasant enough. They trotted back through the forest at a leisurely pace engaging in light conversation. They traded stories of Ned as he was something they had in common. Robert asked what growing up in Winterfell was like and Lyanna responded by asking about the Eyrie. Robert noticed that Lyanna seemed to be holding something back.
"Was there something else you wanted to ask me?" He said giving her an opportunity to speak up.
"Um, can you tell me about Mya?" She said hesitantly. Robert was surprised but smiled at the question. It was normally poor form to inquire about one's bastards in polite company, but Robert didn't care, He was proud of his little Mya.
"She is not even two name days old but is already bigger than all the other children her age. She has my hair and eyes, and her little laugh warms the heart. She is so full of energy; it makes me wonder if that's what I was like at that age."
"She sounds like a handful." Lyanna replied with a smile. "Don't you have people who could tell you of your childhood?"
"Ah, well I guess there's someone at Storm's End who would remember, I haven't spent much time there since my parents passed." He said apologetically.
"Don't you visit your brothers? I'm sure they miss you." She said with an almost accusatory tone.
"Well, my brothers and I aren't as close as you and your siblings. Stannis is too uptight, Ned is quiet, but at least he knows how to have fun. Renly… Well, I don't really know Renly. I was already five and ten by the time he was born so I never had much to do with him." Robert said apathetically. He watched Lyanna's face shift through a variety of emotions. Robert internally noted that she was terrible at hiding her feelings. Several times she looked as if she was about to blurt something out but managed to stop herself. Eventually she turned to him with resolve and spoke.
"I think you should make more of an effort with your brothers. As my father once told me, the lone wolf dies but the pack survives." Lyanna said solemnly. Robert looked at her and kept his mouth shut, not wanting to let something he'd regret come out. He didn't exactly appreciate the condescending tone she was using.
"You returned to the Eyrie after your parent's passing, why didn't you stay and watch over them." Lyanna pressed, most likely failing to read Robert's silence. At this he was unable to keep his mouth shut.
"We're stags not wolves!" He roared, immediately regretting his outburst. He always focused on random little things in times like this. "I'm sorry for raising my voice, but what good would it have done. Stannis would probably just want to brood, and Renly was just a babe. What was I supposed to do? I may have been the lord of Storm's End in name, but I was hardly ready to take up the task, so I left it men who could do the job properly." He finished bitterly. Lyanna for her part was not one to back down.
"What good would it have done? For someone who's been preaching about loving others and taking up your responsibility, you can't even seem to muster up love for your own family or take the responsibility of caring for them." She scoffed, "Was it all just pretty words or are you someone who actually acts on what he says?"
Robert shut his mouth to avoid raising his voice again and was quiet for some time as he sifted through what she had said. It was true that since he had awoken, he had not spared a thought for his brothers. So focused was he on his plan, he hadn't even considered where his brothers would fit into it all. He tried to remember Stannis and Renly from the last days of his previous life. Stannis had run away to that god forsaken rock and hadn't been heard from for months. Renly, from what he could remember, was becoming what Robert could have been if he didn't win that cursed throne. Even if he was getting far too close to that prissy flower knight. Perhaps Lyanna was onto something about patching his relationship with his brothers. If he couldn't do right by his own blood, what was he doing up here in the North? Then the thought struck him, he was still running away from the pain of his parents' deaths, after all these years he still refused to face it. He knew that as the oldest brother it was his duty to step into his father's shoes, but he ran away from that responsibility and his family suffered for his weakness.
"No, they are not just pretty words as you say." He said with a determined voice. "I'm just realizing my many mistakes. Thank you for pointing out another one I need to fix. I think it is high time I took my seat and looked after my house like a proper lord."
"Well, don't let me stop you from going now. The kingsroad is that way" She smirked pointing in a generally southern direction.
"Yes, thank you. I'll just swing by my room and pack my things then." Robert laughed
"Of course," She laughed before staring at him with a steely gaze. "I would hate to step into a broken household when I become Lady of Storm's End, and I would much prefer to have good relations with my future goodbrothers."
"That's fair," he sighed.
A/N Just as a note, the only time I have ridden horses was many years ago during summer camp and have no actual idea what it takes to be an expert rider. Lyanna's advice was simply a plot convenience and thematically useful to the story. If you are an experienced rider and want to correct me, I appreciate the feedback :). Also, the final discussion in this chapter was originally supposed to be on the trip back from the first ride. I didn't think that having another emotionally charged conversation in such a short amount of time worked. figuring out where to put it into the timeline was part of what was taking me a while to get the last chapter out. Anyway, I think this works. Now Robert has a reason to head out from Winterfell and return to Storm's End.