She wasn't sure how she felt right now.
On one shoulder, lived the emotion of grief. A deep, painful grief. Out of her fifteen years of life, she had never lived a single one without her Grandpa. She saw him and Grandma every day, practically! And if not she at least would call… She could already feel the gaping wound that was open by his death. She had cried for him so much that her face had dried out.
But on her other shoulder… Was a feeling of… Happiness. Happiness because that meant Dad was home for a whole week!
After she had dried her eyes upon receiving the news, she realized that he was coming and was so excited. Dad was almost never home nowadays. He was always out working on the water, venturing further and further out into the unknown in ways he would never allow Antigone to experience. And such long trips meant that he was so often out of the house, earning money for their family. It was a necessary evil, said Mom. Necessary to keep everything afloat – pun unintended, but welcomed.
She had struggled to sleep that night, wrestling with the conflicting emotions. One moment, she was tossing and turning out of excitement to see her Dad. The next, she was back in tears again over how much she missed Grandpa, trying to make herself understand, let alone believe, that she was never going to see him again, he was gone. Then… She got herself calmed down, drank some water, and tried to sleep once more, the cycle starting again.
It was the early hours of the morning within this cycle that she could hear the door opening and she sat straight up, her eyes widening. It was him!
She got up, hurrying down the stairs as quietly as she could, just trying to not wake Mom. Part of her was selfishly hoping she wouldn't wake up. Sure enough, he was standing in the doorway. Wow, he… Wasn't as tall as she remembered. His hair was longer… He… Looked a lot different actually. She stopped for just a moment to try to memorize how he looked this time.
"Antigone," he said, opening his arms and she hurried over to him. His hug felt… Different than she remembered. But it was still nice.
"Welcome back Dad," she said quietly. Why wasn't she… Smiling? She pulled the corners of her lips up but it didn't reach her eyes. She finally sighed softly. "I'm… So sorry." It was his Dad that he lost. She couldn't imagine what she would do without her own Dad!
"Thank you," he said quietly. His voice wasn't strong like she remembered. She frowned a little bit as she felt more tears starting to form in her eyes. This wasn't right… "Well, let's enjoy the time we have together while I'm here, okay?" he asked as he pulled her back. "How about I make us some hot chocolate?"
"Oh… Um," she said, hurrying after him. "Sure." He was already working on heating up some water and finding the powder.
"Just where it was always left," he said with a smile at her. But it was like talking to a stranger….
"What? Who's there?"
Mom appeared in the doorway, finally getting up from where she was sleeping on the couch. She hiccuped a little bit.
"Jenna," said Dad, going over to her quickly.
"Murph," she said, rubbing her eyes. "Stop. The morning."
"Are you…" said Dad, leaning away from her a little bit when she spoke close to his face. His eyes found the many bottles on the floor. "Jen-"
"I…I didn't pick those up," said Antigone, feeling a wave of guilt crash over her. She had been in her room all day crying and trying to figure out how she was going to say goodbye to Grandpa… She knew that Mom was going to be mad at her for that… "It's just been tough since we heard," she said, inclined to have her Mom's back because she understood things were just tough right now.
"Yeah," he said, going to get a beer for himself while Antigone watched. She hadn't really seen him drink. But of course he would, he was an adult, that was just kinda what they did. "It's okay."
There was a sullen silence between the two of them. Dad just stared at the table and Antigone swung her feet. She had so many questions in her mind to ask him when he got back. What was it like out there? Do you get tired? Would you ever want to find a different job? Did you… Miss us? But when she looked at him in front of her she realized just why she couldn't ask any of those things.
"So… how's school?" he asked with a small smile as he handed her a mug of hot chocolate.
"…It's good," Antigone said. "Marnie and I wanted to try something crazy and new so we joined book club." She looked into his face and just saw… Confusion. "Marnie? My best friend? You've met her…" she said, remembering that because she remembered how happy she was that her best friend got to meet her Dad! But… Obviously he didn't remember like she did…. "Anyways. We're reading a book that's about… A…" she trailed off a little bit, seeing the far-off look on his face and able to tell he wasn't really listening. And she didn't want to try to comfort him by talking about this stupid book she wasn't even sure if she liked. So she just… Stopped. And sipped her hot chocolate in silence.
"You can keep going," said Dad. But she didn't really want to.
"I think I'm getting kind of tired," Antigone said as she set down her mug after taking a few quick gulps just to try to get it all finished faster. "It's going to be a long day tomorrow."
"Oh," he said, running a hand through his black hair, that matched hers, identical pairs of glassy green eyes staring at each other for a moment. "Of course. It's quite early," he said with a small sigh. "I want to hear about that tomorrow though."
The way he said that indicated that he didn't know what that even was. Antigone just shrugged a little bit. She wasn't going to bring it up unless he asked.
"Sure," she lied as she pushed her mug to the center of the table. She would do the dishes before Mom woke up, like always. "Good night."
"Night honey," said Dad.
Who was he to call her honey?
Antigone shrugged as she went to her room and closed the door again, pressing in the lock and just staring at the white painted wood for a moment. What happened? She had been so excited for this… But now that he was back it felt totally different than she imagined…
Antigone knew why, deep inside. She wasn't an idiot.
It was because he obviously was home for himself, and his mother, and to honor his father. Not because he wanted to see her. He wasn't home for her, and she wasn't sure why she thought he might be. He had his own life, his own worries, outside of her, just like her mother did.
He didn't come home for her.
As a kid, she could brush it off, but at fifteen, she was old enough to finally accept the truth.
He never would.
~.~.
"Are you sure about this?" Antigone pulled at the fishnets she was wearing a little bit. She thought they would feel really restricting and ride up, but they were actually pretty light on her legs. The more pressing issue was the heels that were rubbing on her pinky toe as she walked. Now those hurt.
"Oh, yeah," said Marnie. The eighteen-year-old shook out her strawberry blonde bob, tousling it to make it look perfectly messy as she stook up a little taller on her heles. Antigone swallowed nervously, the sixteen-year-old fidgeting. But it was either be here, or be at home… With nothing waiting for her. So here she was.
"This is like out of a movie," said Antigone when she saw the house – practically a mansion – with colorful lights shining out the windows and she could hear the loud bass booming from the speakers even all the way here.
"Oh, it's better than a movie," said Marnie with a grin as her black lips spread out into a grin at her best friend, reaching over to tighten her high ponytail and ruffle her bangs a little bit so they sat nicely. "Alright, stand tall – if everyone realizes it's your first party they're gonna try to get you wasted. I'll be with you the whole time, okay? And if you wanna go home just say…" She thought about it for a moment. "Tugboat. Alright?"
"Alright," said Antigone, taking a deep breath.
"Don't be nervous," Marnie said, knowing it was easier said than done. "I'll make sure you have a great time, alright? You trust me?" She grinned.
Antigone blushed just a hint and then grinned back. She liked it when someone else smiled at her like that. "Of course I trust you, bitch!" she said with a laugh.
"That's it!" said Marnie, grinning back and taking her hand, swinging it a little bit as she opened the door. Antigone looked around, a little intimidated at the darkness with the colored lights flashing, and the loudness of the music and all the people. It was so crowded. "Head up," Marnie said, and Antigone nodded with a sigh as she walked in the room with her. She had to act like she was used to this, but it was so hard.
"Hey hey, it's MARNIE!"
"Oh, Mia's cool," Marnie said, walking over there while still holding onto Antigone's hand, swaying her hips a little bit to the beat.
"Oh-kay girl!" said the girl called Mia, grinning and dancing a little bit in her spot happily. "Phew! You don't gotta do that right out the gate!"
"Oh, you know I do though," Marnie said with a laugh.
"Who's this?" asked another girl as she looked at Antigone. The sixteen-year-old tried to talk, but she felt so intimidated by these girls – they were obviously so edgy and badass and Antigone was nothing like that.
"Antigone," said Marnie. "My sista from another mista!"
Antigone looked at them, trying not to look so shocked, and waved a little bit. "HI!" she said loudly, over the music. Oh she felt like such a nerd and wanted to just go hide away forever.
"Girl!" said Mia. "You look smokin hot, I love your skirt, where did you get it?"
Antigone blinked a few times in shock. She thought they were going to laugh at her… She stood up a little straighter and her smile got a little bigger. "Uh, it's Marnie's!" she said with a small laugh.
"Yeah but it won't fit my big hips," said Marnie with a laugh. "She definitely wears it better."
"Oh stop that," said Mia and a few of the others also protested at her saying something like that.
"You're both looking like snacks if you ask me," said a beautiful blonde girl. Why was this girl saying that to Antigone?! "Oh, your pink glasses are so fun!"
Antigone felt herself blush a little bit but she started moving a little bit with the music as she was relaxing.
"Alright, girls, everyone in!" said another girl – a redhead, Jesus, she was gorgeous. Antigone felt so… Inferior to those other girls. But when the camera came up, Marnie was pushing her into the picture and everyone was grinning. And Antigone found it… Easy to grin along with them.
"Alright, I'm getting a drink or two," said Mia, grinning. "C'mon, we'll get everyone set up." She turned toward Antigone. "You drinking tonight?"
"I-I don't know!" said Antigone, and Marnie looked at her for a second, surprised as she expected a fast no.
"I'll start you off with a soda and if you want I'll mix you something good," said Mia, and Antigone felt so… Happy. These girls were all so nice! She took the soda and took a sip – wow, it was hot in here and the cold sip of pop felt so nice and refreshing. Marnie had a hard seltzer for herself and held it out to Antigone.
"You want to try it?"
Antigone considered it for a second before Marnie was back to drinking it.
"It's all good if you don't."
"I'll take a sip," said Antigone, taking it from her. She put the can to her lips and took a slow sip of it, jolting a little bit at the feeling of the alcohol burning. "Woah!" she said, her cheeks burning a little bit in embarrassment. But instead of laughing at her, the girls all just giggled a little bit and smiled.
"Yeah, I remember my first drink… Tried to do a shot of vodka," Mia said with a laugh.
"Girl, you are dumb," Marnie teased her, punching her arm a little bit.
"Oh," said Antigone, handing Marnie the can back and sipping her pop again. "I'm glad I didn't do that," she giggled a little bit. But she wanted to try a little more of that sometime… But not here. She wanted to be fully present to enjoy this.
"Alright, I'm tired of standing around!" said Marnie. "Let's dance!"
And dance they did – in a big group, in small groups, with a couple of guys that were acting goofy about them and making them laugh – and even on the side as a few of the other girls played beer pong while Antigone watched.
She didn't want to go home to Mom and no Dad. She wanted to be here. And chase this feeling forever.
~.~.
She was excited for a party today – but not like the parties that she and Marnie had come to frequent. No, the chances of either or both of them leaving the party with a hottie for a hookup were slim to none – well, truly none for Marnie, slim for Antigone. Because she knew everyone that was invited!
It was a simple gathering on the beach. Mia and the girls were there, along with Marnie's brothers and parents. In fact it was an honor that Antigone got to be the one to do this!
But why wouldn't she be? She never left Marnie's side, not for a single moment through all of this. She was there, always.
When guests came, Antigone was there, handing them a little bag with a seashell inside. She had spent a while on the beach looking for them – sometimes with Marnie, sometimes just by herself. Anything to keep from being at home, right?
She saw her friend coming, and her mouth fell open. "Oh, Marnie," she said, going over to hug her friend who was wearing a flowing gown, her feet bare on the sand. "You're so beautiful."
Marnie smiled at her, stepping back a few steps as her hands naturally went to her stomach. She was starting to show a little bit. This was never the life that she had imagined for herself, but she was so happy now and Antigone was happy for her. She didn't need the idiot baby daddy in her life to make things more complicated. She had the support of her family, and her best friend. Antigone would do anything for her, and she knew Marnie had her back in return. "Thanks," she said wearily. She was still a little tired, a little nauseous sometimes, and more than a little cranky, but she looked like a goddess today.
"Always," Antigone said, hugging Marnie tightly for a moment. She could feel Marnie sniffling a little bit and Antigone looked up, blinking quickly a few times to keep from crying herself. "Bitch don't do this!"
"I can't help it!" Marnie laughed which turned to a little sob as she wiped her ears. "Ugh, I hate these stupid hormones!"
"Well when you cry, I cry," said Antigone with a small laugh as she put up her finger, moving her hot pink glasses to wipe her eye.
"Alright, then we'd better move quickly," said Marnie with a smile. "Hi everyone!" she didn't have to do much to get their attention as the group was so small. But Antigone was in charge of this, she was part of this. "Thanks for coming, as if we don't all see each other every day. But we're here today for a special surprise thanks to Antigone." The girl stood up straighter hearing that.
"Thanks for coming and humoring us – well, me mostly, Marnie couldn't care less about mushy stuff like this," said Antigone as everyone laughed – Marnie the loudest of them all. "Alright, yay! Everyone pull out your seashells." She pulled her own out to use as a demonstration. "One side of your shells is painted pink, the other blue. In a few moments I'm going to tell you to reveal the side you think will match Marnie's." She flipped hers over a few times to not let them guess based on her reaction, having to work hard to maintain that poker face. "Go ahead and think…"
"Oh, it's definitely gotta be a girl!" said Mia and Antigone could hear her parents talking to her brothers, all of them bickering a little bit as they had taken sides.
Antigone looked at Marnie. "What do you hope?" she asked.
"If I answer that you'll give it away," said Marnie with a laugh as Antigone gasped dramatically.
"Rude."
Marnie sighed quietly. Antigone could practically read her mind. She knew Marnie. She knew that her dream was to have a little girl…
"Alright everyone!" Antigone said loudly. "Here we go. Are you ready? One… Two… Three!"
The family and friends flipped their shells – of course all of the girls showed their pink side. The only one to show a blue side was Marnie's Mom.
"Wow, the family agrees," said Antigone, as she got the shell out of the bag with her back turned so nobody else could see. She put her hands around it, squeezing it tightly as she walked it over to Marnie. "Alright," she said quietly, her eyes filling up with more tears. "Ready?" she asked her quietly.
"Yes," said Marnie, putting her hands over her friend's for a moment before she blinked tears out of them. Marnie's youngest brother had been shoved forward with the camera to film the big moment.
"Everyone count for me!" Antigone said, and Marnie joined them.
"Three…
Two…
One!"
Antigone beamed as she threw her hands open and revealed to them all the pink shell and there was a chorus of screaming while Marnie was holding the shell up and the tears were rolling down her face. She hugged Antigone first and her friend – no, sister – hugged her back tightly.
"A girl!" Antigone said excitedly.
"A girl," Marnie said through her tears, letting go of Antigone to hug her Dad first as Tig clapped her hands together and wiped her cheeks, only for more tears to form.
"YEEEES girl!" Mia said, and the rest of the friends were there to celebrate as soon as Marnie's Mom let her go with a beam after telling her that she didn't really think it would be a boy and felt like if she chose a girl, she would have somehow jinxed it.
"Thank you for doing this for her Antigone." She smiled at Mr. Seymour gently rubbing her shoulder. "Marnie's lucky to have a friend like you."
"We're not friends, Mr. Sey. We're sisters," Antigone said with a grin as she watched the happy scene in front of her and knew it was because of her.
Oh, what a great day!
…
The party was over.
Marnie was cranky and tired by the end, and bade a quick farewell before going home to rest. The girls decided to go get ice cream, and they invited Tig along, but she turned them down. Sure, she could have gone with them, gone to see Grandma, or even gone home with Marnie's folks, but she didn't. And yet, she knew she couldn't go home.
So she had out her phone, searching for where she wanted to be. And this time, it was a bar downtown. So off she went.
It was infectious to her now – the flashing lights, the music, the dancing. She felt alive here, without a single drink, without a single smoke or drug. It was just the atmosphere that did it for her.
"Antigone!" she heard voices call her name the moment she walked in the room and she lit up. Now everyone in the party scene was her friend. She strode in confidently, only stopping home briefly to clean up the bottles, do her chores, and put on her crop top and skirt. She hit the dance floor before the refreshments, unable to control the shake in her body along with the beat of the music.
"Hey baby!" She narrowed her eyes when she saw a boy coming towards her. He was already a little drunk, she could tell now just based on how he walked. Those ones were the worst because whisky dick just made the jack-hammering last longer and ugh. It was just boring.
"No thanks," she said, putting up her hand in his face as his friends were laughing at him getting rejected. But Antigone could dance on her own – and she liked to dance on her own and just get lost in the music.
A girl with brown hair pulled her in by the hips. "Hey sexy," she said.
Antigone laughed – she liked being hit on by the girls, and yet when they were in a mood they could be just as bad as the boys – not good at pleasing and hard to please in return. "Hey," she said, not pushing her away right away, but doing so when she started to try to get touchy. "Another time, alright?" she asked. Ugh, she was as horny as the rest of them but the thought of these drunk partygoers was less than exciting and she couldn't be more dry.
After a few songs, she found herself moving toward the bar to grab herself a drink.
"What can I get you, Sexy?"
"Just water," she said. "With ice."
"That's all?"
Antigone just narrowed her eyes at him. "Yes." When she said it like that, he hurried off to get her water with ice. And oh, it felt so good, especially after dancing.
"Hey there!"
Antigone looked over when she noticed the man was talking to her. Oh, he was nice-looking. Edgy purple hair and a bit of a big nose, but in a handsome kind of way. She could entertain this for a little bit. "Hey," she said. "I… Don't think we've met."
"I don't think so. I'm Flavio." He was a little older than her but not too far out of her age from the looks of him.
"Antigone," she said. "How's the party?"
"Having a great time," he said with a charming smile. "Hey," he said, grabbing a girl by the back of her crop top and pulling her over.
"Fucker!" she said, before just laughing. "Oh hey you." She got on her tiptoes and gave him a kiss on the cheek.
"My girlfriend, Leanne," Flavio said, putting his arm around the girl who was plenty busty and a blonde beauty otherwise with freckles and a button nose. "This is Antigone."
"Antigone, that's one I haven't heard before. Unique, like you," she said, giggling a little bit and reaching over to poke Antigone's cheek.
Antigone, despite herself, blushed as she sipped her water. "I guess you could say that," she said with a slight laugh.
"I love this song, I wanna dance!" whined Leanne, shaking that ass.
"We definitely haven't danced enough," laughed Flavio. "You wanna come dance with us?"
"Oh, I never turn down a dance," said Antigone, tipping her head back to quickly finish her water before setting down the glass and going to the dance floor. Her heart was fluttering with nerves at how Leanne moved, and how intently she was paying attention to her. She put her arms around Antigone's neck and pulled her a little close, which made her blush. She wasn't expecting that.
And what she really didn't expect was to feel Flavio gently taking her hips from behind. Her face blushed and she instinctively put out her ass a little bit, squeaking with surprise at how close his hips were to hers. She'd danced with plenty of girls, and ground back on a lot of guys, but never at the same time.
"You're such a pretty little thing," Flavio said into her ear from behind while Leanne was playing with her hair.
"You are gorgeous!" Leanne told her. And wow, Antigone was full of feelings about this from all directions, and she could feel wetness slowly sinking into her underwear that was undeniable. How else was she supposed to react to tits on her and a dick on her at the same time? Not to mention the attention… She'd never been paid attention to like this before…
"Have you ever been a unicorn before?!" asked Leanne.
"A… Huh?" asked Antigone before she laughed a little bit. "Sorry, I'm new to this." She shouldn't have said it maybe but she trusted this.
"A third for a couple," Flavio said over the music, but he let up on her a little bit.
"Nooo," Antigone said right away, reaching out for him again because those arms around her, hips rolling on her ass… She wanted it. "I've never been one before! But I'd be down to try it!" she would be down for a lot with these two. She felt… Very special, and desired, and also very very horny for them both right now.
"Let's get some soda and chat some more," Leanne said at the end of one of the songs. But with her on one side, and Flavio coming over on the other side of her, Antigone was getting so flustered and a little impatient. She wanted her tits licked while she was getting fucked. Oh goddamn, two people? She wasn't expecting this tonight!
But she sure as fuck didn't want to go home.
"I'll chat all you want, but if you don't fuck me I'm gonna riot."
That caused both of them to laugh as they went back to the bar.
Between her laugh and his eyes, Antigone knew that she was in fucking trouble.
She felt important, she felt desirable.
She was a unicorn.
Well… She'd try anything once!
~.~.
A seventeen-year-old girl was just a hint nervous as she walked up to the address she'd been texted. Her eyes felt heavy and she bit back a yawn.
It had been a few weeks since Tania had entered the world, and in all honesty, after witnessing her entrance, Antigone didn't want to do as much as look at anyone's genitals ever again.
She was just so curious that she had to look on the other side of the sheet when they said she was crowning. She wished Marnie had never given her permission to do that because it was horrifying.
But mother and baby were both perfect and healthy, and between Antigone and the rest of the family, she was loved and well cared-for. But those late nights and the excuse to sleep on the couch of their living room did more than enough to keep Antigone out of her house for a few weeks.
But now they were settling into normalcy and Antigone was ready to get back into the scene. So here she was, dressed up again, standing tall in her heels, picking just a little bit at fishnets on her legs as she approached the address. And now, on her head she wore a headband covered in pink, yellow, and blue roses with a pair of ears on top, and between them a big horn. Coming off the back was a lot of pink and blue tulle.
Ah, why was she so nervous?! She had no reason to be and as soon as she heard the familiar songs playing, it felt a little bit like she never left. She heard her name when she was noticed, and grinned as she saw people there waiting for her. Accepting her. Loving her. She was the proud unicorn and she was just waiting to see what couples would be there.
She went to get a drink – just one seltzer today because she wanted to get just a little bit loose.
"Oooh, she's drinkin!" Antigone heard Mia's voice before she felt her arm around her shoulders. "What would Marnie say?"
"She'd be proud of me," laughed Antigone as she tweaked her glasses.
"No kiddin'," said Mia with a grin. "Atta girl."
"Oh, is that spin the bottle?" Antigone asked, perking up as she hurried toward the circle of people and her eyes landed on a boy that was sitting there with golden bronze hair and broad shoulders with toned arms. "Oh who is that?"
"Who, Dev?" asked Mia with a laugh. "Devere Thames. He's in our year and he trains."
"Shhhh," said Antigone, even though the music was loud. Wow, she hadn't really met anyone that trained even though she heard that training centers existed in the District. But she felt like the subject was too taboo to speak loudly about.
"Good luck getting to him," said Mia with a laugh as Antigone followed her gaze and her eyes landed on a girl with a side-shave pixie cut in the center of the circle currently locking lips with a guy. Oh, nothing she couldn't handle. Mia saw her looking and chuckled, elbowing her a few times. "The boy. Merlin."
"What?" asked Antigone when she watched the boy break apart from her. He had dark hair that was in perpetual bedhead mode and had glasses that he took off to wipe on his shirt. "Oh." She watched and sure enough, he was pumping his fists and cheering as he shook his ass all the way back to Devere's lap. "Huh."
"Let's go girl, we gotta get you in there Unicorn!" Mia said, grabbing her hand and pulling her to the circle. "Move, my friend wants to kiss the gays over there!" she announced loudly as she pushed her way into the circle and pulled Tig with her.
"Oh!" said Antigone as she blushed at her being so forward and sat down by her.
"Did you say the gays?!" the boy called Merlin asked loudly as he was obviously sizing up Antigone as they sat down.
"Anyone is fine!" said Antigone as she moved her headband a little bit and smiled at them all – some couples that were holding hands and some singles who were just vibing with the music. Antigone watched excitedly as an androgynous teen was celebrating when the bottle landed on a little punky kid with blue hair and they were grabbing each other's faces right away.
Oh, Antigone loved watching people make out and she had her hands in her lap, playing with the bottom of her skirt. The way bodies rolled like that was hard to look away from.
Mia grinned as she was handed the bottle and looked around the circle. She put the bottle down and sent it around while Antigone watched anxiously. It slowed and then stopped on the girl sitting on Antigone's other side, with her hair up in braids. Oh wow, lucky Mia, she was beautiful.
Mia grinned as she handed Antigone the bottle and then crawled across her towards Clair, and on her way Antigone felt loose enough to give her a spank because her ass was amazing in those little shorts. "Oo! Wait your turn girl!" she said with a laugh as she fell on top of the other girl and Antigone bit her lips at how they stared at each other for a second before their lips touched.
"Spank her again!" Antigone looked over when she heard the voice and when she looked at Merlin biting his lip and looking at her, bouncing his eyebrows, she leaned over to smack that ass again – oh she would do whatever he wanted right now. That caused laughter and yells as Mia just put up her middle finger while kissing Claire for a few seconds longer before she pulled back, and those tits went up and down as they were both breathing heavily near each other's lips.
"Alright, way to go Mia!" Antigone said with a laugh as her friend turned the bottle towards her.
"Hope you get lucky?" she asked with a giggle as she looked around.
"Oh, I hope so," said Antigone as she looked around for a moment and took a bit of a nervous breath. Her heart was pounding as she put it down in the center of the circle. She could feel eyes on her, so she looked around at them all, shaking her shoulders a little bit as she was leaned over the bottle to let her tits jiggle. She looked around and when she caught Merlin's eye, the contact lingered for a long second before she took a deep breath and gave a small giggle before she flicked her wrist to send it into motion.
She sat back to watch but she was barely able to sip her seltzer before Merlin reached out to grab it, a wicked and wild grin on his face as he made strong eye contact with her and flipped his wrist to turn it, stopping it himself and pulling his hand back as the side of his lips quirked up into a grin and the teens in the circle screamed, some of them grabbing each other.
"Dev!"
The boy called Dev raised his eyebrows in surprise as Merlin just sat back with a grin, proud of himself quite obviously.
"Alright unicorn!" said Mia, excited for her.
Antigone's heart started to pound a little bit harder as she got on all fours to cross the circle and of course, she was fully expecting Mia to spank her ass. She took her time to stalk over to him, partially because she was nervous. But she had to just fake it til she made it and bit her lip to try and look sexy, and also hide her grin at the turnout. Dev was looking at her with eyes wide as they kept flicking down and then back up at her face.
She stopped with a start when she felt a second spank that she was not expecting, and covered her mouth in embarrassment at the squeak she made when it happened as Merlin was grinning at her with satisfaction.
"Come on, you wanted to kiss him so bad!" he said in a playful way to her as he grinned at Dev over her back.
Antigone took one more deep breath before she knelt in front of him – always very aware of boundaries – and leaned forward towards his face. She made another squeak of surprise at the fervor with which Dev returned her kiss, the strong and sure grip of his hands on her hips as slightly rough lips slid on her own in a fast rhythm, and things felt… Far away. The music, the friends, the cheers, all of it blurred in her mind as she was just so focused on how he felt. He lifted up on her a little bit and Antigone helped slide herself onto his lap, and a shudder ran all the way down her back at the feeling of sitting on him – wow he was ripped. And of course she felt just the littlest teasing tickle of a hard-on right on top of her entrance which immediately got her wet as hell. She pushed herself down on him a little bit just for the extra absorbency and reached down to grab his thumbs around her hips and pull them up towards her tits, which he took another tight handful of. His tongue tasted a little like alcohol but was so sure and skilled just on her own that she could only imagine what it would feel like flicking her clit, fuck.
Dev seemed to be listening more than Antigone was, pulling back first with a small breathless laugh as he stared into her eyes in a way that made her blush. It was like he saw right through her in a way. She stared back at him for a long moment, waiting with her breath held to hear what he was going to say to her next.
"Hi, I'm Dev." His hand found one of hers from around her neck and took it to his lips softly.
"Antigone!" she said over the music, giggling a little bit as she tucked a piece of hair behind her ear and could feel her cheeks growing hot.
"Antigone?" She looked over to Merlin who was watching them. "Merlin Havelock. His proud boyfriend."
"Well thanks for that, Merlin," she said with a small smile. "You're a lucky guy."
"I'm the lucky one," said Dev, reaching up to take a piece of her hair and tuck it behind her ear.
"He's just saying that," said Merlin with a laugh. "I won't kiss your hand like a gentleman, but I will… Take you out for a dance."
"I love to dance!" she said anxiously, looking at him. When he stood up, she knew for sure that he was shorter than her and scrawny but it was endearing to her. And just the little bit he was moving in his spot made her anxious to join him for one.
"He hates it!" Merlin said with a laugh at him making a face and shaking his head. "That's why we love our unicorns!"
"Oh, I see," said Antigone with a huge grin, excited about this and these two and what the future might hold – if anything, for tonight. "Let's dance."
What's the worst that could happen?
~.~.
She was always something of an earlybird, even now at eighteen.
She woke up to the first little bit of sunlight that came in through the drapes. She wiped her eyes a little bit. She didn't want to get up and go clean up bottles and do dishes…
But when she inhaled, when she felt the warmth, she knew that she wouldn't have to.
She actually wanted to open her eyes. She saw the blue walls of his apartment instead of the chipping walls of her room back home. She heard the calm sound of the air conditioning unit in the window. She stretched her legs back and felt his strong legs curled up a little on the side of the bed. Then she pressed her feet forward a little bit and felt… Nothing. Antigone opened her eyes and noticed that his side of the bed was empty.
She rubbed her eyes a little bit and sat up carefully.
Dev was still asleep, his mouth open a little bit as he was snoring softly. Merlin was… Nowhere to be found.
Antigone sat up carefully, reaching for her glasses, and for just a moment she watched him sleep. He looked so relaxed. When he was awake he tended to be so stressed nowadays as he had found a job carrying heavy crates of seafood for shipping. She reached out to touch his hair softly, pushing it from his head as it was bunched up and a little bit sweaty. He didn't even fret under her soft hand.
She felt her heart beat a little faster as she watched him. It was like there was a magnet that was pulling her heart towards him. She had never felt like this before, and she had been a unicorn for a lot of other couples before. From the first time she had been their unicorn it was a feeling that she could never replicate with anyone else.
She heard footsteps and quickly pulled her hand back, her heart pounding nervously as she looked away from him quickly and felt her heart sinking. It was just footsteps upstairs… She wasn't used to this new little apartment they shared…
Because it wasn't her home. She still had a home and it was with her parents. Not here. Not with them…
She closed her eyes for a moment and sighed, that happy feeling quickly leaving her. But oh she always felt so… Special when they were all together. And yet here, she didn't feel special at all, she felt… Like an add-on. Because she was. To them…
She carefully slipped out of the bed, tiptoeing around the room as she found a robe to put on and tied it before she slipped out of the room, quietly closing the door behind her. When she saw the lights on in the kitchen, she suddenly realized that her glasses were… Clean.
"Is that Antigone?" Merlin appeared in the kitchen with his stupid apron on and a spatula in hand. "Aha. I mean, it wasn't gonna be Dev."
"No," she said with a small giggle and felt her cheeks heating up when she saw him smiling at her. "I was, um, just going to clean up, and then…" Get out of their hair, she supposed. She didn't want to go…
"Then you're going to help me chop up some vegetables," Merlin filled in for her, tsking his tongue as he went back into the kitchen. Antigone watched him go and giggled a little bit as she went into the bathroom. She had to open up her toothbrush case to use it – that got stowed in the bottom drawer. She wanted her toothbrush to live in the cup with theirs… But at least she got to have one here. She kept a comb here. And that lipstick she got special for them…
She pissed and took her glasses off to wash her face, drying it mostly before she put them back on and just stared at her face in the mirror. Familiar black hair, tan skin, green eyes. Her bangs were a little askew so she combed straight down to fix them. Would she ever really fit in here?
She didn't know.
Antigone stood up taller, trying to make herself look better. The robe was obviously Merlin's because it just barely went halfway down her calves. She pulled her bra forward, fidgeting with it a little bit. She wanted them to want her. She loved it when they wanted her.
And when they didn't, she hated it…
She finally went back out, tiptoeing past the bedroom before she stood in the doorway, watching Merlin listening to the Symphony on the radio while he was cracking eggs into a smaller dish before pouring them into a bigger dish.
She felt her heart beat a little faster as she watched him. Fuck what was wrong with her? She felt so happy watching him smile as he was cooking. She felt so drawn to him. There was something fulfilling about just watching him smile. Something that she valued about watching him do something he enjoyed, even if she didn't eat a single bite of it, it was worth being here just to watch him be happy.
When he looked at her with those brown eyes that many thought to be inconsequential, she felt something move in her world.
"There you are. Don't just stand there! Help me! Feeding the fucking Hulk is a lot of effort for a little twink!"
"Oh, of course," Antigone said, hurrying in the room and quick to find where he had the peppers set up with a knife on a cutting board on the side counter. "It's like you set it up for me."
"I figured you might be awake to help me," he said as he hummed a little bit to the radio. She knew his favorites. She knew a lot about him now. She knew that he put up a façade, and was good at it. She knew how he liked his coffee. She knew the things that scared him about the future…
"You cleaned my glasses," she said as she started chopping up peppers. Having something to do, being helpful, it made her feel like she was something to them…
Merlin turned to face her. "Girl," he said, putting the knife he was holding across his chest to really show her his offense. "Those things are nasty!"
"No, you're just a total clean freak," she said with a laugh at him squinting a little bit at a speck on his glasses. The way his eyes crossed like that made her heart feel… Warm, and yet, almost like it had melted a little bit.
"Dev would agree with me," he said as he turned back to his eggs and started whisking them together with some milk. "Like, girl. Them things were fuckin' crusty." He shuddered and Antigone just giggled at him being dramatic – though likely not wrong. She never cleaned her glasses before she met him and he always kept them clean for her.
"I just never really think to clean them," she said as she started dicing them more finely and was biting her lip to hide her big grin. She didn't know why they always made her feel like this… And, the more pressing matter was that she didn't know if she made them feel that way.
And that was one that she felt like she knew deep down inside, which was why she never wanted to ask.
"Well that's why I'm here then," he said. "To dick you down and clean your glasses."
"Well you do a lot more for me than that," she said quietly, not really sure that she wanted him to hear her as her cheeks heated up.
"Hm?" He was looking at her in a way that made her feel so weak. Exposed, in a way that she wasn't used to being exposed.
"You're my best friend, I mean," she said. Marnie was her sister practically and she barely counted anymore because they were that close. "You and Dev have changed my life," she added softer because she struggled to say things like that and now that it was out there, she had an uncomfortable feeling in her chest.
"Aha," said Merlin with a chuckle, and there was a beat of silence. A beat that felt like a century to her as if she was just waiting for her hopes to be dashed. Why would she do this to herself? Did she have a choice? "I don't know what you call us," he said. "But best friends at least gets close."
She wasn't sure how she felt right now.
On one shoulder lived the hope. The hope that perhaps he might see something there. The hope that perhaps they would take a chance on her someday. How happy they could be. She wanted this all the time. She wanted to wake up to those blue walls every day. Sure, it was shoddy, loud, and cramped, but Merlin was so smart he would find a place to put all her things! She would find a job after her last reaping was done and maybe then they could get a bigger place that wasn't so… Uh, terrible. That was what made her heart pound. That was what made her face warm. That was what brought forth a giggle from her throat, not knowing how else to react to that statement. That was what made her cheeks hurt from smiling so big, and showing her teeth.
But on her other shoulder… Was the feeling of… Sadness. Sadness because she knew that it wasn't the truth. Knowing this hope that lived on her shoulder and made her heart beat and her cheeks warm was not the truth. It was just a fantasy of what could be. And yet, deep within there lived the truth that surely they knew how much she liked them. Surely they had an idea as she was trying to hold in her tears every time they said goodbye. Surely they knew when she stood in the doorway watching them. There was no way they didn't know when she came every time with a small teddy to add to Dev's collection, or chided Merlin for paying too much attention to her and not enough to Dev. Or when she insisted on fixing up Merlin's hair just to be touching him in the night or going to refill his glass before they all fell asleep. If they knew, why were they always so… Vague? Except to avoid losing her. Because the moment it came to a head, it would become all or nothing.
The highs of being with them were the best Antigone had ever felt.
And yet, the lows of the sadness were the deepest, lowest lows.
But she couldn't stop. The highs were just too good. They couldn't be replicated. They kept her from ever having to go home to her Mom. So here she stood, still just… Waiting for them. And yet, so afraid of losing them that she said nothing more on the topic and just listened to him hum along to the radio as he took the peppers from her and started mixing everything together and putting bacon on the skillet.
"I got the coffee," she said, going to the coffeemaker and starting with Merlin's. Not looking at him, worried that he would look through her, see through everything. He always seemed to know with her. He know so much about her, both of them did. Too much.
Shit, why did she ever let this happen? She didn't know shit about love. She barely even knew what was happening to her that she was feeling this way about two men, it was so confusing. But when they were together, it wasn't…
She took the mug once it was done pouring the bean juice and stirred it around a little bit before adding Merlin's favorite vanilla caramel creamer and stirring it around until it was the perfect light color, taking it over to him as the bacon started sizzling.
"Oh," he said, looking at her breasts before meeting her eyes with a smile. "Thanks. It's good to see those green eyes without a film hiding them from me."
"Stop it," Antigone said as she thumped his shoulder, just anything to touch him. She wanted to be near him.
Then she went to make Dev's, while the smoky smell of bacon filled the room with a delightful aroma of breakfast. She wanted him to wake up to this every day. She wanted to be part of every morning they had…
Once the coffee was done, that was all. Dev drank his black. She took the cup for him and stirred it a little bit and blew on it to start cooling it down.
"Ready for the beast?" Merlin asked as he clicked tongs in his hands a few times and then pointed to her with them.
"Ready," she said with a smile, taking the mug carefully to the bedroom. She pushed open the door slowly and saw Dev's eyes twitch as he was obviously awake.
"Devere," she said softly. Saying his name softly like this just felt so right. A beautiful, beautiful sound coming out of her lips. She put the coffee to his nose for just a moment and that made him open his eyes. The ocean lived in the greenness of his eyes, even bleary like they were as he was waking up.
"Tiggy," he said, blinking a few times as he let out a great yawn and stretched his arms in a way that just made her happy. That made the smile come back on her face. The slight flush back on her cheeks. "Thanks," he said. His voice was deeper from the night of sleep. "I always sleep better when you're here."
She could have teared up hearing him say that to her so softly as he took the mug from her. His hands lingered on top of hers for an extra second, a long second, that made the hope burn brightly like the sun deep in her chest. And just as bright as well. As soon as she had his touch, she lost it as he put the mug to his lips to gently blow on it and sip. "Me too," she told him, just watching him for a moment and feeling so full. Like things couldn't possibly get better.
He smiled at her a little bit before he was turning to sit up with his feet on the floor. "Mer's making breakfast, huh?"
"Yeah," Antigone said with a small smile. "It's almost ready for you."
"Well I bet you helped," he said, yawning again and stretching the arm that wasn't holding his coffee.
"A little," she said with a giggle. And felt that hope.
"Well thanks," he said, patting her head a few times. What a beautiful feeling to be under his hands in any way. He went off to the bathroom and Antigone went to the kitchen, where Merlin was fretting over how to present the breakfasts he made.
"Need help?" she asked with a small smile.
"I think I'm done," he said as he was setting the table with breakfasts in front of each spot. She wished she could have her spot set beside them, instead of across. That distance across the table from them brought that sad feeling back to her. She silently went over to the coffeemaker to make her own.
And it saved her from having to watch them.
Dev came out and she could hear Merlin tell him good morning. In a voice that sounded different. She could hear how Dev was laughing at him when he nuzzled his face.
"Good morning, handsome," Merlin said in a sing-song voice as he put the last of the bacon on a plate.
"Good morning, darling," Dev said in return. Antigone looked up and saw them kiss and she could see how Merlin stood on his tiptoes to bump noses with Dev, how Dev laughed, how they looked at each other's eyes. That smile. She wasn't sure she had ever seen that smile from either of them…
And so came forth the sadness. She didn't belong here. They didn't feel the same about her. They had each other, and they were lucky. She was on the outside.
She was just a unicorn.
That was all she would ever be.
Merlin and Dev were still holding hands when they sat down to eat. Merlin used his left hand even though he was right-handed just to keep holding onto Dev. They kept looking at each other. When Dev yawned, Merlin just grinned. They didn't grin at her like that…
They made light conversation over breakfast – the food is good isn't it, you'll never believe who I saw yesterday, how's baby Tania, last night was fun, huh? Yes, no way, it's been forever, she's doing great and loves her aunt Nene, had a great time as always.
She just didn't even know what to say. Or how to tell them.
She waited until they were all done with breakfast for a comfortable amount of time before she was ready to excuse herself. She just knew that they were going to continue on without her. And she struggled when she was on her own without them. Not even Marnie really filled that gap for her anymore. She wasn't them.
But thankfully, today she had an excuse. She wasn't used to rushing out, but today she didn't have a choice. And even if she did, she would choose anything over watching them without her.
"Well, it's my Grandma's birthday today, so I best be on my way," she told them.
"Already?!" Merlin asked with a dramatic whine as he flopped back on his chair. "Antiiiiiiigone, you're killin me."
"Oh please, Mer, she has a life," Dev said with a small chuckle. "Unlike some people."
"I know, I know," said Merlin with a huff. "Alright girl, I get it. Have a good time, don't miss us too much."
Antigone forced herself to smile at them. Two men that had become everything to her, despite how much she knew it was a bad idea, it would only end up a mess, and it sure fucking has. They didn't know the tears she would cry without them when she had to go home from Grandma's. They didn't know how much she wanted them to be her everything, all the time.
They didn't know that she was the stupid fucking unicorn that wasn't careful enough and caught feelings.
"I won't."
I will.
A/N: Next chapter – a mentor interlude to break up intro hell because it's time for them to get their flowers again after almost ten years.