Loss Chapter 5, a naruto fanfic

Title: Loss

A/N: Now to finish up this little interlude. And thanks aaryan dafal it means a lot (insert bow emoji here).

XxxxX

Genin Exams Arc: Chapter 5 - What I Want and What you Want

6 Years Before the Present - Setting: Unknown

Drip.

He could feel drops of water falling, traveling through the air, hitting his forehead, rolling down his face, then falling down his chin.

In a black void the 6 year old Tama Jinsei was the only thing that existed right now. He wore brown sandals, black cargo pants, a blue shirt and a bulky red jacket. However, something was wrong. The white streak in his medium length hair going just past his ears was gone.

Before another drop of water could fall and hit his head, he moved out the way and watched as it fell endlessly through the void.

Wait, that's not water. That's blood. Where… am I?

"I bet you're wondering where you are right now, Lord Jashin." A voice rang out. "To be honest I don't know myself. But before I was blessed by you, and I sacrificed everyone in my village to call upon Lord Jashin, this is where I ended up. And when I woke up, I found that I couldn't die anymore. It doesn't seem like the afterlife though. I've taken to calling it Limbo - the place in between life and death."

"S-sacrificed? You've really killed hundreds of people?" Tama wondered, turning around and facing the voice. He saw the gray haired man from earlier, but instead of wearing a coat the man wore torn up khaki colored shorts and nothing else. That wasn't Tama's main concern though, "You know what? Whatever, just shut up! What did you do with Ino-san? Tell me!"

"You must be talkin' 'bout that little blond brat with the short hair? She's not dead, yet."

"Yet?!" Tama growled like a little kid, angry. He burst forward and threw a punch but the man merely stepped out of the way making the kid zoom past him. "What do you mean by yet? And who are you anyway?! Why's your chakra just like…" The kid trailed off.

Smiling and avoiding the kid's punches and kicks, the man finished Tama's sentence, "Why's my chakra just like yours? Because we're one and the same, you and I. We're both children of Lord Jashin. The only difference? You've been one with Jashin since you were born. Oh how lucky you are to not be a fake ass pull like I am. You're the real deal. One of Jashin's children uncorrupted by the taints of this world." Tama's eyes widened in fear when he saw the man cock his fist back, "The name's Hidan, by the way!"

Even though he crossed his arms to block it, Hidan's fist still plowed right through Tama's defenses, smashing into his face and sending the kid launching several meters back!

XxxxX

An Unknown Amount of Time Later - Outside of Konoha - In the Middle of the Forest

Tama's eyes shot open!

He tried to stand up on his two feet but he couldn't!

How could he if he was tied up, after all? Where am I now? Is this the real world? He looked around.

Currently, he was in the middle of a forest. He guessed he was quite a fair way away from Konoha because he didn't recognize the tree layout at all. It was also still the middle of the night but thankfully the moon was bright enough for him to see everything. Currently, Tama was tied to a huge tree by rope and no matter how hard he struggled there was no escape in sight. He was also surrounded by a circle. A circle with an upside down triangle, the lines of which glowed an ominous red color. He had no kunai or any weapons to speak of so there was no way he could cut the rope even though his hands were free. How could he have known what he was getting into when he left the house?

"Damn it!" He yelled, struggling more and more. "Damn it! Damn it! Damn it! Let me outta here! What's going on?!" Tama realized he was having a temper tantrum right now but he didn't even care not one bit-

"-Tama!" A familiar voice suddenly cried out in fright. "Tama is that really you?!"

Tama Jinsei stopped struggling and tried to pinpoint the location and identity of the familiar voice, and that was when he saw her. Ino Yamanaka. She was tied up to a tree just like he was, one of the trees in front of him actually, but it looked like she had been awake for a while now. Something was strange, however. She was crying her eyes out.

Crying and Ino Yamanaka were words that did not belong in the same sentence together. She was the strongest person he knew. She was the one who boosted the confidence of all the other villager girls and helped them all out when they were feeling down. He had seen her grimace before and even tear up once or twice, but never crying.

"You're alive!" And yet here she was, sobbing, not believing in her eyes at what she was seeing right now. "You're really alive, Tama!"

"Alive?" Tama wondered, confused like hell, "Of course I'm alive. Me? Die? Inconceivable!" Why am I acting like this right now? He wondered…

Unfortunately the brave bravado he put on didn't help anyone, not even himself.

"Ohhhh but you did die, Jashin." Tama's eyes widened when he heard Hidan say next, "I have your heart in my hands after all. How else can you explain that gaping hole in your blood soaked shirt?"

"Hidan?! Shut your mouth! I'd never let a guy like you kill m-" Tama nearly choked when he saw what Hidan was holding. In one of his hands was a real life heart, but it wasn't beating anymore. Tama looked down and saw what Hidan was talking about. There was a hole in his shirt and blood everywhere, but he was perfectly fine. That wasn't Tama's heart Hidan was holding because Tama was perfectly fine. It had to have been a lie, it had to have been-

But if it was a lie, why was Ino so shocked when I woke up? A voiced asked him in his mind.

-In Hidan's other hand was a man struggling for dear life. He seemed like a trader from outside the villager who was in the wrong place at the wrong. The man tried screaming in Hidan's arms but only muffled sounds reverberated out because of the muffle in the man's mouth. "THIS IS WHO WE ARE JASHIN!" Crushing the heart in his hands, Hidan pulled out a kunai from his cloak and threw it at Tama.

I've gotta dodge! Tama tried to move out the way but the weapon struck true because he was tied up and couldn't even move.

SHLICT!

The kunai buried itself right in Tama's neck with a disgusting slicing noise.

Blood burst of his neck in droves and Tama tried coughing to get what was in his throat out but that only made the pain feel even worse along with making more blood escape his mouth. He heard Ino screaming and crying something but the world around him was starting to fade and blur together.

All the noise was being drowned out along with the light in his eyes as his last thoughts were, Am I… going to die? His head fell down when he lost the strength to hold it up, a shadow falling over his face.

His life ended just as it began. Shrouded in darkness. All alone. In the middle of a weird religious circle.

Oh my god! He just died again! And I couldn't do a thing! I'm so… weak! Ino slowly watched Tama die right in front of her. She didn't even cry because she had run out of tears by now. Her heart was hollow. Her throat was dry and the tips of her fingers were shaking like crazy. There was absolutely nothing she could do but watch what was going to happen next. That's all she was reduced to, a mere spectator with no control over anything. She was tied to a tree and there was nothing she could do about it.

Laughing, Hidan threw the tied up man towards Tama's corpse, so that the man tied at his hands and feet was in the circle with the upside triangle along with the 6 year old. "Calm down, breast fed bitch, I'll bring him back. Just watch."

Ino's skin started to cake with sweat at Hidan's words.

The tied up man screamed while trying to squirm away from Hidan like a pathetic earth worm.

Sitting on a nearby tree branch, a man named Kakuzu watched as Hidan walked up to the tied up man, laughing. He's going to do do it again, huh? The man hundreds of years old thought.

"Stop tryna slither away like a damn snake. You're a human being for god's sake - so die like one!" Hidan grabbed the man by his short brown and slit his throat with his scythe like it was nothing.

The man stopped struggling as Hidan bled him out like a farm animal, the dirt being stained with a crimson colored liquid.

"AHHHHH!" Ino screamed and looked away, making Hidan just start laughing like a little kid.

Almost as soon as the man died, the circle with the upside down triangle in it started glowing. Strange tattoo markings began appearing all over Hidan's body as he started laughing maniacally. The crazy thing was that the tattoos started appearing on Tama's body too, wrapping around his face and going down his arms and legs too. There were more tattoos covering the raven haired kid than there was skin on him at this point.

Ino's eyes were wide with fear. It's happening again?! She thought in horror.

It happened slowly, but surely. It started off gradually, but eventually the blood leaking out of Tama's neck stopped completely. Everything went quiet as the summoning circle's red glow slowly died out.

Hidan looked annoyed, "Only a single soul is soooooo weak." He complained, "But I have to save the few I have left cause it'll be a while until I'm allowed to go shopping again."

And then all of the sudden Tama started coughing again and stirring with life!

"There you go, lord Jashin!" Hidan cheered. WIth all of Tama's coughs, jerks, and muscle contractions the kunai lodged in his throat loosened and fell out of his neck. The large amount of blood covering him never left but the huge gaping wound in his neck slowly disappeared as if it were never even there.

The whole process took about 30 seconds flat.

Tama Jinei's eyes shot open once again!

The raven haired with a streak of white in his hair tried to struggle in order to break free of his restraints but it was no use. When he stopped struggling and realized there was no kunai inside of him anymore his eyes widened in shock. What the hell? He wondered, his whole sense of self shaking. Didn't I just die! WHAT JUST HAPPENED?! Looking up with glowing purple eyes, Tama shouted, "What did you do to me?!"

Ino was scared and speechless. She remembered waking up before Tama did and seeing him die for the first time when Hidan plunged his hand into his chest and took his, but then Hidan sliced himself in the neck and then all of the sudden Tama woke up an hour later.

The first time Tama had died she'd cried her eyes and seeing him die a second time felt exactly the same. Ino sniffled and tried to steel herself though. "You're okay, Tama!" She yelled, "Don't worry about a thing. We'll get outta here somehow."

HOW?! Tama yelled at himself. Both at Ino and at how he just came back to life. And why there was a dead body in front of him all of the sudden.

Seeing the reaction on Tama's face made the older man named Hidan laugh hysterically. "That was all you buddy. And that's just the power of one soul, Jashin! I mean sure, the faggot won't get to ascend to the promised land anymore but who the fuck cares! Once you've consumed the souls of hundreds like I have you won't even have to feel the pain of death anymore!" Hidan walked over to the shaking Tama and knelt down. "If I killed you right now you'd stay dead, because you don't have a single soul inside you right now. But if you started collecting souls like I've been doing you'd be able to do things like this!"

In the span of a second, Hidan picked up the Kunai in front of Tama that was just in the kid's neck and plunged it into his own heart!

GLIKT!

Blood started streaming out of Hidan's mouth but he just licked it off his lips and said, standing up with the kunai still lodged in his chest, "You'd have an endless reservoir of life just like I do! And it all starts here, Lord Jashin. WIth that bitch right over there! Take her life and add it your own. Join me, and eventually we'll have this whole world worshipping their one, true god! Lord JASHIN!"

Ino, who was watching and hearing everything, started shaking when Tama looked at her, a strange expression in his gaze.

I think I… understand what Hidan's talking about now. When I was younger… I… killed people just by touching them. And I remember feeling so strong afterward. Maybe we're from the same clan. Some weirdly sick religious clan… One that allows one to escape death by causing the deaths of others… Back at the orphanage, Tama had sustained life threatening wounds and kept on fighting those mist ninja because he managed to keep on holding onto life by using his strange kekkei genkai to take the lives of others. The only reason he lost back then and Kairi had to die was because those mist ninja learned how his ability worked - through direct contact - and started hitting him and attacking him when he had run out of chakra and focus. What I need to know is what's Hidan going to do next! Tama yelled at himself as Hidan sized Ino up and licked his bloody lips. His eyes shot back and forth, between Ino and Hidan. I have to think! I have to think constantly so what happened at the orphanage never happens again! Never again! I don't want to lose any more of my friends!

"Fine, I'll do it!" Tama shouted as loud as he could. "I'll go with you. If it means never dying I'd do anything! That's such a cool power!" He yelled.

"Wh-what are you saying, Tama? No! Don't go with him, that guy's evil!" Ino suddenly shouted back at Tama. She was scared but she didn't like what she was hearing at all. "If you go with him I know for sure you'll-"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP INO!" Tama growled.

"..."

Ino was so surprised at Tama's outburst that she yelped like a kicked puppy when he yelled at her like that. Tama's face fell down and a shadow fell over his face. Then, he slowly smiled and started laughing.

His laughs sounded absolutely insane.

He looked… scary. The boy who always seemed harmless seemed to be a completely different person now.

Hidan paused. He looked suspicious for a second but then he just shrugged and chuckled. "You finally get it, don't you kid? You've finally realized who you are." Hidan looked back at the blond kid and smiled at her before licking his bloody lips again. Kunai still in his heart, he reached over his shoulder and grabbed his scythe, raising it high into the air. "It's time for you to see it with your own two eyes just who you are, Jashin!"

Tama calmed himself down and shut his eyes, ready for death.

Hidan swung down his scythe!

Closing his eyes and expecting pain to come, Tama bit down on his lips tightly and got ready to wake up in that limbo world again.

…

But the pain never came…

Huh? Tama slowly opened his eyes as a huge weight was lifted off of him. The ropes that had been tying him down had all been cut in one fell swoop. Holding his hands up in front of him, Tama was shocked to find out he had been released from his confines. But he wasn't in shock for long. His eyes narrowed and he stood to his feet.

He smiled from ear to ear and looked at his chest. The tattoos covering his body from earlier were still there, but they were slowly receding… somewhere. He touched his neck with his hand and felt smooth skin instead of a gaping gash. He touched his chest that had supposedly robbed of its heart and felt nothing but smooth skin.

It dawned on Tama, then, just how real everything was. And if he died right now without taking a life he'd stay dead, according to Jashin. That was because he hadn't killed anyone using his ability yet.

Hidan made no reaction to Tama's slow, but steady self discovery. In fact, all he did was swing his scythe back over his shoulder. There was a huge, waiting smile on his face, though.

"Not gonna fight you anymore, Lord Jashin. We're one in the same, after all. Now stop acting like an obstinate little kid and show me what you're made of. Go and take your first kill and then we'll move on to a weaker village until you're strong enough to take on this one. If you don't start racking up souls now while you're still a kid any old shinobi would be able to kill you pretty easy, and you won't be able to come back to life. Start with her."

Tama didn't move a single muscle. He just gazed at Ino out the corner of his eyes and started grinning. "So all I have to do is kill her and I'll be immortal?" He wondered, looking down at his right hand, "That's how it works?"

"Exactly." Hidan said, smiling, and walking over to Tama, "Man, is this what it's like to have your own kid? C'mon Jashin-sama, I'll do it with you. Let's both take your first kill together."

This isn't my first kill, but, "Yeah," Tama mouthed, agreeing with the older man that would teach him how to use his kekkei genkai.

Ino, who had been silent thusfar, started shivering, her blue eyes shaking. At first she thought Tama was just lying to fool Hidan, he had to be! But he looked so seriously now. Like he was seriously thinking about killing her and going with Hidan. The smile on Tama's face looked genuine, like he had finally discovered something that had been haunting him for years!

He looked so happy at his discovery that he didn't mind discarding his previous life if it meant living forever!

"No Tama!" Ino screamed, "You can't go with him! He's lying to you! What if he just tries to kill you instead."

"Why would he?" Tama questioned, slowly walking forward towards Ino and holding out his right hand ominously, "I'm Lord Jashin. Hidan-sama would never harm the god he follows."

"That's right!" Hidan shouted, offended, "That would be blasphemous! Hahahahahaha!"

"Heh. Hehehehe." Tama started chuckling darkly too. Hidan put a supporting hand on Tama's shoulder and felt that the kid was shaking this whole time, but at Hidan's supporting touch the kid calmed down.

This person must mean a lot to him. Thought Hidan as they walked toward her to finish the deed. I have to be there for Jashin in his trying. My first kill was the hardest for me as w-

"-My whole life I've felt out of place, Ino." Tama suddenly said, knocking Hidan out of his thoughts, "But until now that feeling was just that - a 'feeling'. Now I've realized that it's the truth. I've been lying to you this whole time by the way! I never had parents, Ino! I'm not even from Konoha! I'm just a damn steam village orphan your washed up father took in because he felt bad!"

Ino's eyes got even wider than they were before in shock. "That's not true, Tama! You know that's not true! Dad just wanted to help!"

"IT IS TRUE! I'm just a damn war orphan your dad and his team found in a village where everyone but me was dead. They only helped me because they felt bad! That's why they dumped me at that orphanage!" Ino forgot to breathe for a few moments when he said that so seriously, like he'd kill her in a second if she said he was lying again, "And as long as I can remember," Tama continued, a single tear going down his face, "I've been living at that damn orphanage. I finally the family I was supposed to have all along. A place to sleep, a warm bed, stupid older sisters who doted on me and annoying older brothers who'd make fun of me because of the white in my hair! I was happy, at least up until it all burned away, and everything I ever LOVED WAS KILLED by mist ninja on a high horse!" Tama laughed, then, but his chuckle was hollow and devoid of emotion. That emotion was then filled with hatred, "Living with the two of you was pure suffering. Living in that damn leaf village was hell on earth. Who am I? Why am I alive when they're not? Why wasn't I strong enough to protect their precious lives?"

"Because you were just a baby!" Ino argued, "There's not a baby alive on this entire planet that can do anything by themself. There was nothing you could've done, Tama!"

"..." Tama didn't respond, he just kept getting closer and closer.

But Ino had to try to get through to him, "You can't blame yourself for what happened oh so long ago. You just can't! You have to realize that. If you're as smart as you say you are, you have to realize that its ok for a baby to be weak!" She bellowed.

But nothing she said worked to change anything in Tama's expression, no matter how minute a detail she tried to find.

Tama stopped walking forward with Hidan when they were just a foot away from the short haired blond girl who slowly started to realize what exactly Tama was now. The kid with a white streak in his hair knelt down and held out his hand toward Hidan, who knelt down as well. "I don't need your help killing her, I can do it on my own."

When Tama said that so coldly the dam Ino was trying to hold back this whole time broke.

Ino started sobbing and saying things like, 'I'm sorry' and 'why didn't you just tell me' and 'this is how you really felt this whole time?'. But Tama ignored all her questions and pleas.

Hidan handed the kid the kunai with a gulp. Woah, he must really hate this girl, huh? He thought, giddy. He wanted to burst out laughing but smiling widely was all he did because he didn't want to offend his Lord Jashin. A man's first kill meant the most.

Jashin, not Tama anymore because Tama would never say these hurtful things, continued, "Living with you was absolutely miserable, Ino. Every waking moment was a nightmare. Half of me wanted to disconnect and the other half wanted the opposite, to open up my heart and connect with you guys. I felt so… missing, so out of place. Feeling out of place can be disconcerting, like being a square peg in a round hole. It's that sense of misalignment—wasting time, energy, and resources—that can feel almost paralyzing. I tried to acknowledge my feelings. To recognize that feeling off track is an important message from within. But it takes bravery to admit to fear and confusion."

Shutting her eyes as Jashin spoke to her, Ino yelled while looking away because seeing Jashin's expression hurt her too much, "This whole time this is how you felt?! You hated us with all your heart! Truly?! You were just lying to us this whole time? To me? Was anything you ever did… real?"She didn't want to believe otherwise but the more Tama - no, Jashin - spoke the more it made sense that he never cared about them in the least. Jashin just… forced himself to care. He forced himself to care because that was the normal thing to do so he wouldn't feel out of place. Everything he ever did was… was a lie, plain and simple.

"I'm sure some of it was real. Or maybe I just tried to tell myself everything so I could finally be happy. I tried reflecting on the root problem too." When Jashin spoke again, he raised the kunai and pushed it forward, pushing it into Ino's neck and drawing blood, but not pushing it in deep enough that it would kill her. This made her stop looking away and yelp softly in pain. Jashin merely looked deeply into her shiny blue eyes that were tearing up and streaming out tears more and more with every passing second. "I tried meditating on it when I started feeling out of place. Understanding the cause so I could move forward more effectively. And then I realized it. Feeling out of place didn't have to be permanent. I could move forward toward growth and alignment if I did one of two things."

And then her heart jumped at what he said next coldly, "1. Leave the village and find somewhere where I wouldn't feel out of place. Or 2. Get rid of the person giving me all these meaningless emotions!" And then Jashin shouted, plunging the blade into flesh! "That's you, birdie!"

Birdie…? Ino thought, closing her eyes soaked with tears and waiting for the pain to come. But the pain never came…

Instead of pain and then darkness as death consumed her, she heard Jashin grunting, "You, damn monster!" And when Ino opened her she saw Jashin - no, Tama - shoving a kunai deeper and deeper into Hidan's neck. "Die already!" Tama shouted, but no matter how deep he punctured Hidan's neck nothing was making the immortal even feel a thing.

Hidan merely sighed and grabbed Tama's throat, standing up and raising the kid into the air as he started choking the 6 year old to death.

"I really had high hopes for you, honest to god. You had me going for more than a few seconds there too with your whole spiel. But them's the brakes I guess. You may be my Lord Jashin but you were corrupted by the humans at a young age. Maybe by killing you here and now you'll reincarnate into another place! Don't worry, Jashin, I'll find you again soon!" Smiling, Hidan applied pressure.

Tama started choking to death quicker and he struggled and struggled and struggled as his life started draining away, his oxygen levels depleting by the second. But then he heard it, the scream of a girl who just wanted one thing. For him to live.

"Leave Tama alone!" Ino cried with all her heart, throwing her head forward and attempting to bite her way out of the rope to no avail. She stopped biting the rope and yelled again, her free hand grabbing onto the kunai Hidan and beginning to cut the rope holding her. "Kill me if you want instead! But just let him live, please! Just let Tama go!"

Tama's eyes widened at Ino's words as the world got darker and darker, everything being drowned out by Hidan laughing endlessly at the both of them.

And then everything went dark.

In his eyes he saw Kairi, the girl at the orphanage who gave her life away to protect something worthless.

NOT AGAIN!

Tama's hands shot out and grabbed ahold of Hidan's arm, his eyes glowing black instead of purple and wafting an aura that served to eat away at any and all light that touched it. Hidan's laughter stopped instantly as he felt all of his stamina draining out of his body rapidly.

Is he taking my Chakra! Hidan wondered in fright, tightening his grasp on Tama's neck to try and snap it at the vertebrae only to realize he wasn't even strong enough anymore.

Hidan fell to his knees and tried to let go of the kid so he could get away but Tama held onto him with a death grip. No, he's not taking my Chakra… He thought, getting weaker, He's taking my soul.

Hidan tried to reach for his scythe but when he grabbed it it just fell out of his hand as he lost the stamina to even hold onto it anymore. He tried to pry Tama's hands off of his arm too but nothing worked.

Grasping onto Hidan with both hands, more of the black wispy aura wrapped around Tama like a cloak. There was nothing Hidan could do when Tama suddenly let go, cocked his fist back, and punched Hidan several yards away straight to the ground!

CRASH!

"Here you are claiming to be a follower of mine. How pathetic. You're nothing but a cheap imitation."

On his back, Hidan's eyes widened when he heard that deep, dark and raspy god like voice coming out of Tama's mouth. "Is that you? Lord Jashin is that really you?! I'm here for you, Jashin-sama!" Hidan felt some of his strength start coming back to him after he lost contact with Jashin but it didn't come back quick enough because Jashin was already on top of him, punching him in the face. The young boy didn't stop at just one punch though. He kept punching. Again and again.

"How dare you kill in my name, human. Death comes for all. It doesn't choose who, why, or when someone should die. IT JUST DOES. Death exists to give life meaning. How dare you take death into your own hands, human. It's time I take back the power I gave you."

Over and over again Tama punched with superhuman strength at reckless abandon.

CRASH!

With every punch that landed a crater started to appear in the ground even more and more. Teeth and blood and bones broke as Tama sent haymaker after haymaker at Hidan's face.

Eventually, Hidan stopped moving. And that scared Ino out of her mind as she got work cutting the rope as quick as she could.

Even when Hidan's heart stopped though and his face became inverted and eyes were gouged out and not in their orbitals anymore, Tama kept punching.

CRASH!

The little boy kept punching and punching as the dark aura around him got bigger and bigger with each passing moment. The thicker the aura got, the more alive it started to seemed to become. It shifted from a wispy darkness to dark tendrils that seemed to have life of its own. Or no… it was the opposite.

It was death.

It was death manifested.

Anything with life that came into contact with the dark tendrils wilted and died. Leaves shriveled up and roots started turning gray and lifeless.

Kakuzu watched as the forest began dying in fear and with wide eyes as that menacing Chakra got bigger and bigger with every blow Hidan sustained. It was mentally crippling to even look at. The man hundreds upon hundreds of years old felt something he hadn't felt in a while. True everlasting terror. I-Interesting… He thought, gulping, So this is Jashin? It's like… death itself. This is what death would look like if it were tangible! Kakuzu stood up and immediately evacuated the area, jumping from tree to tree as he thought. What I am looking for is eternal life, not the opposite, which is exactly what that thing is.

CRASH!

Tama - no, Jashin, - punched his enemy over and over again, glowing black tattoos covering his body more and more until he was almost completely covered with them.

The sun started to rise, and still, he punched Hidan's corpse over and over again, making the crater he was in get bigger and bigger.

A maelstrom was what Jashin became.

A relentless storm that would not come to an end even after all life on the planet was wiped out-

-something soft and full of life touched him.

Jashin lashed out at the familiar glow, not wanting to be hurt by loss ever again. But still, that calming glow was just as relentless as he was. Jashin's punches slowed down more and more as the familiar glowing ball of chakra said, "The things you said to me, earlier, Tama, it wasn't all a lie, was it? You really do feel out of place, don't you?"

Jashin finally stopped his maelstrom towards the corpse that used to be Hidan, but the voice continued, "And when you came to live with us, you saw it! You saw a truth that shattered your feeble mindset. But death? Oh, how quaintly you perceive it—a mere flicker, a curtain call. We all die, it's gonna happen eventually. But it's not a bad thing, don't you think, Tama? And it's not your fault that everyone you loved died. Like I said earlier, you were just a baby! Do I have to tell you again?"

The black tendrils that began rotting all of the trees in the vicinity finally started shrinking.

Ino Yamanaka continued, hugging the orphan in front of her tightly and refusing to ever let her go, "But you can stop now. You can stop now."

As the sun dawned on them even more, the tattoos surrounding Jashin began disappearing, all of the dark tendrils of death fading away and leaving nothing in their wake. The black shadows surrounding Jashin like a thick fog cleared to reveal a little boy on his knees in the middle of a crater, a bruised and battered girl hugging him.

"Birdie…" He whispered, "I'm sorry…"

"It's okay… stupid…" Ino replied weakly.

And then the scariest thing happened.

Ino let go.

Tama heard a body hit the ground behind him and his heart stopped as terror gripped him. Tears started streaming down his face when he realized exactly what she had done to herself by getting so close to him and remaining in direct contact with him for so long.

He turned around only to see Ino's unmoving body on the ground. He picked her up and held her in his arms. "Birdie. Hey, birdie. Wake up. This isn't funny. Don't die on me, please. Please don't die."

How cruel was it, then, that this was happening all over again?

How cruel was it, then, that once again, someone precious to him was dying in his arms?

How cruel was it, then, that no matter how hard he tried to protect what he held in his hands, he wore them out?

…

As her body went cold, All the 6 year old had left to warm himself was his tears.

Because now there was another bird that couldn't fly anymore.

XxxxxxX

The Next Morning - Konohagakure Hospital

Tama awoke to a soft, warm feeling petting his head. Opening one of his eyes, he realized exactly where he was as the events of the previous day jolted his memory. He snapped up, eyes wide as a now lucid Ino Yamanaka smiled down at him.

"Hey," Ino said weakly, her voice hoarse as she cleared her throat and looked away from him guiltily. Tama looked positively haggard, with heavy bags under his eyes. At her small greeting, his face finally brightened as it slipped into a relieved smile.

"Hey," he replied softly as he gently took her hand and placed it back on the blanket, "You ok, birdie?"

Ino nodded, wincing slightly in pain as her body suddenly started burning in pain at the sudden movement, "Yeah. I think. Everything hurts for some reason though."

Tama karate chopped her on the head, his expression becoming serious as he pouted, "You're an idiot. A big, stupid idiot!" he let out a deep breath, "Do you know how worried I was? Why would you do that? Why would you put yourself in harms way like that? Offer up your own life like that?"

"And do what? Let you die alone?"

"I'd rather die alone!"

"Well sucks to be you then cause there's no way I was going to do that!" Ino roared back, then grabbed her sides in agony as pain flared up. Tama blanched, quickly leaning forward and holding her back gently so she wouldn't hurt herself even worse. "There was just no way I would have sat there all tied up and did nothing," She repeated Tama pushed her down so she could lay down back on the, "Don't you remember our promise? Our promise to become ninja together?"

Tama's eyes widened and he blanched in shock as memories flooded his mind. His eyes narrowed in anger as his blood started to boil, "You mean that stupid fist bump we did when your dad started training us?"

"Yeah." Ino smiled.

"You idiot. The only way you'd ever be a ninja is if you're alive! And yet… you'd throw your life away for something so trivial as me not dying alone?" Tama lost it, grabbing her hand roughly and squeezing, "I don't want to lose you too!" Ino's eyes went wide as she took in his frightened visage. Anger was one thing. Whining was another. But Tama… genuinely frightened? Ino swallowed thickly, raising her hand to touch his cheeks gently.

"I can't die from something like this. I don't even have a scratch on me," she said soothingly, almost patting him. Tama flinched at her words and drew back, his blood boiling and getting even hotter in anger.

HOW COULD SHE BE SO STUPID! He thought,pointing at her heart, "This? 'This' you say?" he asked softly, "This is a deadly chakra illness, birdie! According to the doctor's it'll never go away as long as you live! You're lucky to even be alive in the first place!"

Ino's eyes widened in fear, but that fear vanished when she realized that the fear the boy in front of her was feeling was far worse. So instead, Ino felt the spark of her anger flare but she tempered it, trying to keep her voice level, "Well that's just too bad, huh? Guess I'll have to live with it."

"Live with it?! Do you seriously not understand what's going on right now?" Tama leaned forward, his eyes brimming with unconcealed rage, "Why would you even try to do that? Why would you even try to hug me like that when you knew I was nothing but a monster."

Ino saw that Tama was trembling now, his whole body shaking with tension.

Her eyes became defiant, "I did what anyone would have done! Your life was in danger. If the roles were reversed, wouldn't you have done the same thing?"

"It's different," he said coldly, "My life isn't worth shit. No one cares about me and if I died yesterday no one would even notice I was gone. What happened yesterday was my problem, my mistake. And I had to deal with it on my own. You just got dragged into it. It had nothing to do with you; you had no reason to be involved." He took in a deep breath, "You know what? This has gone on far enough. I want you to stay away from me, ok? Just get out of my life and leave me the hell alone. Stay here like a good little girl and get better."

Something snapped and the girl named Ino reared back and slapped Tama across the face. A loud 'crack' resounded throughout the hospital room clearly, Tama's face shooting to the right from the impact. Ino ignored the pain, ignored the agony that was rippling through her whole body as she glared at him, her teeth bared. "How can you say that?" she whispered, "How can you say that!" her voice got louder as Tama turned back to face her with a blank expression, his cheeks beginning to burn red from her slap. "We spent the last two years together. We welcomed you into our house with open arms. And here you are refusing to value your life as a human being? How could you look at me in the eye and tell me your life is worthless? How can you tell me I'm not involved in it anymore!"

"… It's not worth it if I have to lose everything. Because then I don't have a future," Tama said dully as he got up, the chair grinding against the floor with a loud screech as he turned to leave. "If you see me don't even bother talking to me because I sure as hell won't. Just forget everything that ever happened between us and move on with your life."

"Damn it Tama, you can't just leave like this! Answer me!" Ino bellowed at his back, tears beginning to form at the distance he was putting between them. She blinked them back fiercely, her hand reaching out for him in desperation, in anger, "Don't you remember what you said? How you could still smile as long as you had us. And now, now you're telling me that I shouldn't get involved with you anymore? Don't screw with me!"

Without another word, Tama opened the door and left, ignoring the enraged cries behind him.

When he stepped out of the room, he slammed it shut. As soon as the door closed he fell to his knees as the tears started to well.

From beyond the door he could still hear her.

"Idiot Tama! Come back! What do you think you're saying! You damn hypocrite!" Ino screamed loudly, wanting him to turn back, wanting him to open that door again and glare at her. Get mad at her. Call her birdie. Or piggie. Or anything other than indifference. She didn't want him to leave, she was terrified, deathly afraid that he'd be gone forever. "Come back!" she reached after him desperately, tumbling off her bed in her need for him to come back so she could explain to him that he was being childish. She knew those eyes, those eyes that welcomed death. They were the same eyes he had when she first met him 2 years ago. If he left now he'd turn back into the person he used to be.

"Tama!" she wailed, her body refusing to respond properly as she crawled on the floor weakly, her hands still outstretched for him. "Where are you… going…" she repeated numbly as tears came unbidden. She shook her head violently as the world spun around her and yet, she still reached out ineffectually to grasp that distant figure, "You can't just… cut me out of your life like that…" her head finally dropped as she fainted from the pain, her eyes still shining with unshed tears.

On the other side of the door, Tama shut his eyes before even a single tear could come and he started running away from that stupid idiot girl as far as he could. She didn't value her own life and she'd never learn her lesson. He knew for a fact she wouldn't think twice about dying so he wouldn't ever give her that option in the first place.

But before Tama could get too far, he ran into Inoichi, who had his arms crossed, "Where do you think you're going?" That question was asked with slight anger.

"Far away from the two of you. I already told you guys everything that happened so theres nothing keeping me at this hospital." Tama said with his voice just as angry as Inoichi's, clenching his fists that started to turn white. In his mind, he saw his sister Kairi dying in his arms all over again.

That dumb stupid chick named Ino Yamanaka. She'd do the same thing and he fucking knew it. She reminded him too much of that girl named Kairi who died protecting a worthless piece of trash. More than anything, Tama wanted something like that to never happen again, and if it meant running away then that's exactly what he would do. "I'm done living with you guys. I'm moving out so nothing like that ever happens again. This makes three times now that misfortune happened to me. First when I was born, second at the orphanage, and then third with Ino. I'm sick and tired of everyone around me dying."

"So you're just gonna go and be alone?"

"If that's what it takes," Tama said, walking past Inoichi, "Then yes."

XxxxX

Present - Ninja Academy Rooftop

Naruto, Sasuke, and Kakashi looked at Tama, who was currently staring at the sky.

"My dreams for the future…?" He asked himself, pondering as he saw a bird flying overhead.

In the back of his mind, Tama remembered a strange Chakra signature who was with Hidan that night oh so long ago. But whoever that person was ended up getting away. As long as that person existed - whoever he was - Tama could never rest easy. The chance was small, but what if Hidan's partner came back to finish the job?

"My dream, or well, my goal, is to find someone from my childhood who left this village before I got to say goodbye to him."

Tama looked outward toward the edge of the village. Outward toward wherever that person was. And he had to find that person who got away without ever using his kekkei genkei, because never, ever again will he hurt someone he cared about using that horrible power that rotted an entire forest.

He'd get strong enough to fight using his own power no matter what.

Why? You ask?

Because life was the most precious thing on this planet.

Chapter End:

XxxxxX

A/N: I'm finally done with the backstory. Let's goooooo. This took way too long to type and I wouldn't be surprised if it came out a little choppy too. The next chapter starts the survival genin exams between Kakashi, Naruto, Tama, and Sasuke. I'm gonna have hella fun writing the action bits. Those are the best parts to write haha. Oh and by the way there won't be any romance so don't get your hopes up (or down lol). I just really like the Ino-Shika-Cho and I have plans for Inoichi's character too… eventually… Alrighty, peace folks.

-Kerith