Juliet parked her car, the engine cutting quietly, enveloping her in the silence of the nearing dusk. She slowly got out, hoping she'd remembered the way correctly. It looked the same as it had last time.

She shut her door with a small snap and winced at the sound, feeling as if breaking the silence was somehow wrong. She knew why Shawn'd chosen this place to come to clear his head.

It really was the perfect getaway.

Juliet left her car, and walked off the road, down into the hollow forest. A few feet over, she caught the familiar No Trespassing sign.

She was in the right place.

Continuing her walk through the forest, Juliet felt herself reliving the events of the other night. The apartment building's woodland, her panicked search for Shawn within the trees, her heart slamming against her chest. She shook her head, discarding the memories. She didn't even know for sure if Shawn had come here tonight, but... it would make sense.

If he'd ever needed to clear his head, it would be after everything he's just gone through.

His motorcycle wasn't anywhere nearby but, Juliet reasoned, broken ribs, a twisted knee and only one arm (not to mention a fractured skull, god, what was he doing out of the hospital?!) made it a bit challenging to ride a motorcycle.

Though… knowing Shawn, that could easily be a challenge Shawn would accept.

Juliet walked further through the forest, not even sure she was following the correct way. The sunlight was just about gone and the moon was making its appearance. The air was getting a bit chillier and she fought a shiver, realizing that, just like last time, she'd forgotten to bring a jacket.

Her nervousness from back at the hospital suddenly rose again.

If she found him here, was she supposed to say to him?

Juliet sighed, her mind flashing back to the moment she found that brochure in his jacket pocket, the realization that felt like ice in her heart. Like she'd fallen in love with a stranger.

Well, she knew one thing for sure.

She wasn't angry anymore.

For the days that followed Lassiter's wedding, she'd been furious. It was nearly impossible to sleep in her bed; she could still smell Shawn's cologne in her sheets, and she'd ended up deciding to crash on her couch instead. All of those jagged emotions, all of the hurt, all of the anger had been haunting her.

But now?

She didn't feel angry anymore. Everything that happened after he was taken changed that. Yes, he lied.

But he also just put his very life on the line.

For her.

Even so, she couldn't shake the horrible feeling that everything they were, everything she loved about him, was somehow just as fabricated as his psychic abilities.

She felt like she didn't even know who he was anymore.

Juliet's brows kneaded, feeling even more at a loss for words. She took a deep breath.

If she found him here, the words would come.

She hoped.

And suddenly the trees opened up, and that breathtaking ocean took over the view. Juliet felt a pull in her chest at the sight. It truly was something. The sun was almost beneath the horizon now, casting soft, faded rays across the water. The moon was high in the sky. A full moon. The sheen moonlight reflected off the gentle waves, and something about it felt like a chance to start over.

Or at least try.

Taking another step forward, Juliet dropped her gaze.

And there he was.

Shawn's back was to her. He was sitting just as he had those weeks ago, when he'd brought her here. He was wearing the sling, the navy strap almost blending into his dark t-shirt. His posture was slightly hunched forward, as if his position was painful.

Juliet felt a wash of sympathy.

It probably was.

Taking a breath, hear heart picking up a little in speed, Juliet walked up behind him.

Shawn didn't notice her until she was only a few feet away.

He turned quickly, whipping his head around, but seemed to forget his condition. He winced sharply, eyes shutting and teeth clenching, hissing a pained grunt. His balance shifted with the too-quick movement, and he had to shoot out his good hand to catch himself on the grass to keep himself from falling. He barely did, panting as he rode the pain.

Juliet's face fell, chest clenching. "Oh—I'm sorry," she mumbled, realizing that after everything he'd just gone through, he'd probably become a bit paranoid. "I didn't mean to startle you." She stopped, her hands clasped nervously behind her.

The pain slowly left Shawn's features with a few slightly panted breaths. The bruises hadn't begun to fade yet, and he still looked fragile. He didn't look like the fun-loving Shawn she was used to seeing.

He looked broken.

When he managed to get a handle on the pain, Shawn looked at her in confusion. "Jules?" His brows furrowed in honest shock.

"I…" began Juliet, hesitating. Shawn waited, his soft gaze burning into her eyes.

Hadn't she convinced herself that the words would come naturally?

"I thought I'd find you here," she said quietly, feeling the slight breeze tug at the hair around her face, and she brushed it away.

Shawn gave her a small smile, giving some life to his bruised features.

Juliet hadn't seen that smile in ages.

She bit her lip. "Do you… mind if I join you?" she asked hesitantly.

Shawn looked at her, brows only lifting in more surprise. And if Juliet wasn't mistaken, it was more than just surprise in his eyes.

It was hope.

"Y-Yeah," he said quickly, stumbling over his words. "By all means, Jules. Please."

Juliet took a few steps closer and lowered herself to the ground a few feet away from him. She let her legs hang over the edge of the small ledge. She looked around, feeling the breeze tickle her face again. She suddenly felt Shawn's gaze on her, and her eyes slowly turned back to him. He was almost studying her, and his face quickly fell. "Jules—are you okay?"

It took her a moment to understand what he meant.

The bruises around her neck.

Juliet felt her hand instinctively move up to her throat and absently massage the tender skin. She cleared her throat, self-conscious under his attentive gaze. "Um, yeah. It's fine now. Doesn't hurt too much," she said, dropping her hand, lamely dismissing his concern. Looking at him, taking in his weakened state, the tension in his muscles, the way he still trembled slightly, almost involuntarily, leaning a touch too far to the left like he had to keep correcting his sense of balance, Juliet felt like her minor injury was the last thing he should be worried about.

"How are you feeling?" asked Juliet, her own concern etching into her features. He didn't look like someone who should be out of a hospital yet. He looked tired. Not just tired, thought Juliet.

Exhausted.

He was still pale, and the weakness he was clearly feeling was palpable. The bruises on his face seemed even darker now, a cut over her cheek where the bastard's gun had hit him still looked raw. The bruising was worst at his temple, where Juliet could see the stitches at just under his hairline.

There was an unevenness to his breaths, like every breath hurt, and it looked like he was actively trying his best to keep a wince out of his features.

He looked like he was ready to collapse.

Shawn didn't answer right away, and Juliet saw his arm relax slightly, as if he realized he hadn't been hiding his pain as well as he thought. "I'm fine," he said simply, though his arm quickly tensed again and he couldn't hide a cringe.

"You don't look fine," said Juliet in a quiet voice.

Shawn turned his head, casting his gaze away from her. "It doesn't matter. I… deserve it."

Juliet's jaw nearly dropped at his words. "Shawn—" she said, shaking her head, speechless. "No one deserves what you went through," she whispered.

Did he really believe that?

Shawn didn't reply. He just kept staring at the water, his expression as empty as the night sky.

She and Shawn were quiet for another moment, the air only filled by the sound of the gentle waves rhythmically hitting the shore below them and the breeze shifting the leaves on the trees behind them, as if the very nature was uncomfortable with the quiet.

Juliet took a tentative breath, and broke the silence.

"Shawn," she said softly. "What you did—"

"I know." Shawn's eyes were shut. His muscles tensed again, but this time, it wasn't out of physical pain. "I know, Jules, I messed up. Bad. I lied to you, a lot, and I—"

"No, Shawn," said Juliet quickly, stopping him. He opened his eyes and looked cautiously at her, puzzlement cutting into his self-loathing. "That's not what I meant." clarified Juliet. "I meant… you saved my life that night."

The words he seemed to have rehearsed evaporated at the change in topic. And if she wasn't mistaken, he suddenly looked… uncomfortable.

"Shawn," she said, her voice trembling a little. "When I found you in that forest, you... you were so..." she trailed off, still hearing the echo of his pain in her mind.

She saw him tense, unable to meet her gaze, like the idea of her seeing him like that was his own nightmare.

And it broke her heart.

"Shawn," she said, eyes hot. "You couldn't even stand—" His eyes shut. "How did you even get to me?" she whispered.

She still couldn't understand it.

He was in so much pain.

Even with her help, he couldn't stand.

How the hell did he get to her?

She could still hear the echo of his scream in her head, something that she knew would haunt her for the rest of her days.

He'd been through hell that day, running for his life with a skull fracture and half a dozen other broken bones, not to mention the fact that she'd felt how off his balance had been that day. She could still feel him in her arms, fighting his own broken sense of gravity, his own weakness of a body that had been pushed far outside its limits.

How the hell did he do it?

Shawn was quiet for a moment, like he was reliving it himself, a haunted look in his eyes, like he was remembering the pain with far too much clarity.

He took a breath, and when he spoke, his voice was barely louder than the waves below.

"Losing you wasn't an option."

Juliet looked at him, his words stilling her heart.

He finally brought himself to meet her gaze, his somehow more vibrant, more clear than she's ever seen it. "I'd have pushed myself through a hell of a lot more pain than that to make sure you'd be okay, Jules."

The weight in his words and his gaze left her speechless.

He put himself through hell to get to her.

He couldn't even stand when she'd been with him, but that had been when he'd only been motivated to save himself.

He got himself up, and through that entire forest, with broken bones and the worst concussion she'd ever seen, because he was motivated to save her.

It took her a moment to find her voice, buried beneath emotion. "Thank you," she said softly, a little smile at her lips, however broken it was. "For saving me."

Shawn looked at her, the ghost of a smile at the corners of his lips, but the warmth never came to the expression. His fell back to the water, like he couldn't hold her gaze. Like he felt he didn't deserve the gratitude.

Juliet felt her heart hurt.

A silence spread between them for a moment, filled with only tension and the quiet lapping waves below.

It was Shawn who broke it.

He sighed, shutting his eyes with what looked like an attempt to gather strength. "Jules, I'm... God, Jules, I'm so sorry about how you found out."

Juliet felt her breath skip, remembering the moment that's been torturing her all week. The wedding. The brochure. The only time his jacket around her had ever made her feel more cold.

"At the wedding," Shawn went on, the words uneven and guilt-ridden, "you caught me off guard, and I... I handled it badly, I handled everything badly. I-I panicked during the Elin case, I... I didn't know what to do." He looked at her, eyes red. "You asked me if everything was a lie, and it wasn't." The look in his eyes only more tortured, he said, "The cases... on our dates, times you asked me how I knew things about you—" Guilt flashed painfully through him. "I lied about how I did them," he said, the honesty raw, torturing them both. "But, Jules, I never, ever, lied about why I did everything I did." he said heavily. "I said I was psychic to help people. And I pursued you, and am—was," he amended, voice stuttering over the past tense, "with you, because I love you." The words were weighted with something only the truth could weigh. "I do, Jules," he stressed, brows crumpling. "I love you," he repeated, "I've always loved you." A broken smile touched his lips. "That has never, ever been a lie. I swear."

She held his gaze, her eyes burning.

The sheer devotion in his words pulled at her heart.

The sound of the ocean filled the silence after his words, his eyes searching hers, so hesitant, so unsure, so afraid.

Of losing her.

Yet somehow, knowing that only made it feel more confusing.

Juliet shut her eyes and took another breath. "I've… I've given everything a lot of thought."

Shawn's face fell the smallest bit.

So small that she almost missed it.

Juliet sighed, deciding to just dive right in.

"It was a shock, Shawn," she said. "A huge, huge shock. And… it... hurt," she said softly, brokenly. Juliet hesitated, trying to choose her words. "It's not something that I can just… bounce back from." Juliet watched the hope disintegrate from Shawn's eyes. They looked at each other for a long time, and even in the pale moonlight, Juliet could read the pain in his eyes. Not from the gunshot wound, not from the broken bones. A much deeper kind of hurt.

She'd never seen Shawn so… raw.

Ever since Juliet had met him, he was the carefree, borderline childish spirit who lived with no regrets. But what she saw in his eyes now, what seemed to darken his very gaze, was just that: pure, unadulterated regret.

"I just don't understand," she said finally, looking at him openly. Wanting so badly to answer the question she'd wracked her brain on all week. "Why did you pretend to be psychic? Why have you been lying to us this whole time?"

Shawn shut his eyes. "It… I kind of… fell into it."

"What do you mean?" she asked.

Shawn shifted his grip on his shirt, like the words were as hard to deal with as the pain still making him wince. "It was before you came to Santa Barbara," he said. "I used to call in tips to the Department when I'd notice things they missed on the news." Juliet's brows lifted. "One of the tips I gave them led them to catching the guy, but Lassiter couldn't figure out how I figured it out. He didn't believe that I could have deduced it just from watching the news. So he brought me in for questioning; he thought I was involved with the guy." A rare note of irritation flitted through his eyes. "No matter how many times I told him the truth, he didn't believe me," he muttered half-heartedly. "So he threatened to throw me in prison for the night unless I gave him a reason he'd believe, and…" He swallowed. "I panicked." With a sigh, he said, "So I thought fast and told them I was—"

"Psychic," finished Juliet in a whisper.

Shawn nodded, still not meeting her eyes.

All week, Juliet had been under the impression that Shawn had waltzed into the SBPD, claiming he was a psychic to work on cases without bothering to go through the schooling and training like the rest of them. Her version of him was so immature and eccentric.

But this…

"When I left that day," continued Shawn, "the Chief asked me if I wanted to help them catch a kidnapper." He smiled faintly. "It just… it seemed so exciting. And it was just one case. As long as I was right, no one would know I wasn't actually psychic. But one case turned into two, and then more… And I was helping people, and doing what I do best. I didn't… see the harm…" He finally, slowly, met her eyes. "I didn't see it until I fell in love with you."

Juliet felt a sudden warmth slip down her spine, at the anguish in his words and the look in his eyes.

She shut her eyes, trying to process it all. Opening them, she found herself asking, "Why did you never tell me?"

Shawn sighed. "When I closed my first case, the Chief promised me that if she ever found out I was lying, I'd be going to prison. I didn't tell anyone because I was..." He didn't seem able to say the word scared, but that's what was in his eyes. "But then I met you, and... I didn't know how. I mean, I… of course I always knew I should tell you, and I wanted to so many times, but… it'd been so long, and I always knew it was crazy for you to like me before you knew I was a liar, and I couldn't figure out how to… I mean, especially after everything with your dad... I just... I was afraid you'd…" He trailed off, but by the pain in his eyes and the way he gripped his shirt even tighter, Juliet could see just how many times he's asked himself the same question she just asked him.

And just how much it killed him to think he'd lose her.

And not that she exactly condoned keeping the secret from her, but she could at least… understand his uncertainty. She knew already that whether she found out by accident or on purpose, it wouldn't have made much difference in feeling like she fell in love with a complete stranger.

Because that's exactly how it felt.

"Shawn, it's just…" Juliet hesitated again, clawing through her thoughts, searching for the words. "I feel like I don't really… know you anymore."

"I'm still the same person, Jules," whispered Shawn, looking at her with a brokenness that hit her straight in the chest. "I'm the same person you met in that diner. I'm the same person whose seat you stole five years ago. That hasn't changed." he stressed, like he'd never wanted someone to believe him more in his life. "I know I lied. I know it was wrong." He shut his eyes. "But I'm still the same person." His eyes opened, a thin layer of tears in them, reflecting the moonlight. "I'm still me, Jules. I'm just not… psychic."

"Then how do you do it?" asked Juliet quietly.

Shawn looked at her, puzzled. "Do… what?"

"If you're not psychic," she said, looking at him. "How do you do it?" The question had been floating around in her thoughts for days. So many memories cascaded through Juliet's mind in an instant. All the times Shawn had just seemed to know everything about everything, how he could know things about her as if by… magic.

Shawn's eyebrows lifted, obviously not expecting that question.

He straightened, wincing as he did, lines of pain creasing his face. He turned his gaze toward the water, the moonlight shining silver light over his face. He took a moment, as if he were trying to dig up something he didn't usually say. When he found the words, he said, "You've met my dad, right?"

Juliet's brows kneaded a little at the clear rhetorical question, wondering where he could possibly be going with this. "Yeah…"

Shawn let out a breath. "Well, normal dads probably take their four-year-old sons to Chuck E. Cheese for their birthday." Juliet's brows kneaded further as Shawn smiled, though the smile held no humor. "Mine gave me a forensics kit—not even one for children—and told me I could have my birthday cake only if I solved the expert-level case he made up first." His smile faded. "That was during my birthday party." Juliet's brows lifted, imagining the scenario. That humorless smile was back on Shawn's face. "Every Christmas, he made me deduce how Santa broke in and out of the house before I could open my presents." Juliet felt her heart twist at the look in his eyes. "My whole life," said Shawn, "my dad practically groomed me into the cop he always wanted me to be."

Juliet had gone through so many instances where Shawn had simply known incredible things during cases, things that, dare she admit, neither she nor Lassiter would have ever seen.

It really had always seemed like Shawn was some sort of superhuman detective. But to find out he truly wasn't "super" anything… made it, in a way, even more captivating.

Juliet felt herself frown, seeing the almost haunted look in Shawn's eyes. "So, you're saying he… trained you? When you were that young?"

Shawn's empty gaze reflected the water before them. "Whether I wanted him to or not." He laughed shortly, then winced. "You know, I have more memories of my father's lessons than I do of actually just being a kid."

Juliet felt as if her entire memory of Shawn—every moment—the antics in a serious situation, the lack of taking responsibility, the childlike pranks and handling of situations…

Suddenly, everything about Shawn made… sense.

He wasn't allowed to be a kid when he was a kid.

A wash of understanding and pity hit her at once.

Shawn's gaze fell.

It continued to shock her how… how different he seemed, underneath it all.

She also understood, finally, just where the tension between Shawn and his father stemmed from.

"Why did you never become a cop?" asked Juliet suddenly. "If you're not psychic… Shawn, you're one of the best detectives I've ever seen. You could have easily become a detective. Why…?"

Shawn's eyes found the water again, and he—painfully—shrugged, but offered no other answer.

"It's just…" She shook her head, still not able to wrap her mind around it. "I keep trying to go back and see what you saw in all those cases. It was as if you were able to see so much more than Carlton and me. There were things that were so absolutely minuscule that you were able to find and…" She looked at him. "It's really… something."

"Well..." He hesitated, and Juliet wondered why he looked even more uncomfortable now. But it occurred to her that this Shawn—this sober, truthful, open Shawn—wasn't used to saying these things out loud.

And it meant something, something deep and warm, to know that he was trying his damn hardest to open up for her.

"It's not just my dad's training, that helps me solve cases," said Shawn slowly. "It was… I…" He hesitated, seeming to be trying to collect his thoughts. But he was silent for another moment, wrestling with whatever it was, and Juliet realized he wasn't sure he wanted to say them. But, finally, he opened his eyes, letting out a breath. "Full disclosure." His lips twitched. "I have an… eidetic memory."

Juliet looked at him in surprise. "What… like a photographic memory?" she asked.

"Yeah."

Her brows lifted.

That was one of the last things she'd expected.

"So… you remember, like, everything?" asked Juliet incredulously.

"In a nutshell." he said. Shawn hesitated, letting the foliage behind them fill the temporary silence again. After a moment, he said, "I can remember every single case file I've ever read, from my first case with the SBPD to the first case I'd swiped from my dad's stuff when I was seven. I can remember them in perfect detail. Down to the number of commas on each page. Every case. Every client. Every conversation I've ever had." Shawn kept his gaze fixed on the ocean. "I never studied. Didn't have to. I memorized textbooks at first glance."

Lassiter is just being childish about his detective exam score.

Wait, the D.E.T.? I took that when I was fifteen. Got a hundred.

Juliet blinked. Shawn had mentioned that he'd gotten a perfect score on the detective's exam. At the time, she never questioned it. She just assumed it was a… psychic thing.

Shawn's intense gaze was suddenly back on her, and he said, "I can remember the day we met. You were wearing that sweater—the coral-colored one with the little white buttons—that you like to wear on dates."

"Shawn…" breathed Juliet. She couldn't remember a single detail about her clothes from that day. Or his. Or anyone else's, for that matter. "That's…" She shook her head, unable to find a word.

"You had long hair then," he said quietly. "You were sitting four stools in. There were seven people seated at that diner. Two waitresses. You accused me of being one of those 'weirdos who go to the same restaurants, sit in the same seats and order the same things.' You had that leather-band watch that you wear only on stakeouts or stings, so I always assumed you wore it for good luck." He faintly smiled to himself. "You wore it on our first real date."

Juliet shook her head, incredulous. Nearly speechless. She had no idea he'd ever paid that much attention to her. "And you remember it all?" she whispered. "Every single moment?"

"Can't forget it." said Shawn simply, lifting his good hand to lightly massage his shoulder. "Well," he muttered, "unless I smash my head on a windshield. Then apparently I can't remember anything."

There was a touch of anxiety in his voice, making Juliet's brows knead.

She suddenly remembered something he'd said in the forest.

Shawn, what happened to your knee?

Can't remember. Which is new for me.

"Sometimes," said Shawn, pulling Juliet out of her own memory. "I'll just start recalling memories for no reason, and I can't control re-watching them. It's like those stupid ads on YouTube that don't let you skip them after five seconds." He sighed. "Half the time it's more than one at a time and it's just… overwhelming."

I come here to clear my head. I get all of these visions, sometimes more than one at a time, and it's just enough to give me a headache.

Juliet shook her head, thinking back to the day he'd brought her here. He hadn't been talking about his visions, he'd been talking about his memory.

"Shawn…" she breathed. "That sounds… exhausting," whispered Juliet.

Shawn shrugged again, and Juliet watched him cringe and lower his hand back to his side. A wave of annoyance flitted through his eyes as if he was tired of forgetting that it hurt to move. "That's why I started coming here." he said, his gaze tracing the darkened horizon. "There isn't much to… memorize." said Shawn quietly. "No people to catalogue. No hats to count."

"But… why did you bring me here, then?" asked Juliet.

He gave her a soft look. "I don't mind memorizing you."

Juliet felt her cheeks heat up. She met Shawn's gaze, and he looked at her with pure sincerity in his eyes. "Jules… I miss you." He started to instinctively reach for her hand with his good arm, but stopped halfway, seeming to second-guess his decision. He pulled it back to his side. "I'll… understand if you…" he hesitated, seeming to not want to say the words. "If you want us to… end." He whispered the last word so quietly that Juliet barely heard him. He looked at her again. "But… I can't lose you, Juliet. Please, at least let us stay… friends." He swallowed hard, and Juliet saw the tears in his eyes. "I… I don't know what I'd do without you."

Juliet looked at him for a long moment. "I still love you, Shawn."

Shawn couldn't hide his surprise. "You do?" he whispered.

"I do," she said. "It's just… I just need—"

"Space," said Shawn quietly, his gaze falling back to the water.

"No, Shawn," she said, shaking her head as he met her eyes. "Not… anymore." She shifted uncomfortably, feeling the slightest remnant of guilt hit her. "I'm just going to need some time. To... get to know you. The real you." He looked at her then, and she looked back. Hope was a tiny firelight in his eyes. It was such a different Shawn than she was used to. But the warmth in his gaze as he looked at her was the same Shawn she fell in love with.

Time.

It will definitely just... take some time.

She turned her gaze back to the water. "I guess things between us just don't come… easily."

"Maybe," said Shawn softly, "the best things in life, the richest things... aren't supposed to come easily."

Her words. The exact words she'd said to him that day at the drive-in, after the fiasco with Yang, when she first told Shawn how she felt about him. Juliet turned to Shawn, looking at him in wonder as he continued, "And the moments that make the most sense—"

"—happen when everything else doesn't," whispered Juliet, shaking her head, feeling that warmth in her chest—the warmth she felt only when it came to Shawn—for the first time in days.

Juliet shifted soundlessly across the grass, closing the inches between them. And slowly, gently, she rested her head gently on his good shoulder. She felt him tense the slightest bit, surprised by her touch. But after a moment's hesitation, he slowly wrapped his arm around her, pulling her close, and they watched the moonlit waves gently strike the shore. Juliet fell into Shawn's warmth, listened to the sound of his breathing, the familiar thrum of his heart beating through their touch, feeling his thumb caress the back of her hand the way he always did. And it seemed to be the last puzzle piece sliding back into place, reminding her that he was the same Shawn she's always known. She intertwined her fingers with his and shut her eyes, melting back into him, erasing every last breath of lingering space between them.