First off, I want to thank Claire for the amazing banner. It's sooo them, all fiery hot and scorching, yet deeply emotional 3 I also want to thank my wonderful team of betas: ShirtyBird, Splishysplashy and BiggiePanda, who are making sure I write in proper english and offer sooooo many helpful feedbacks and suggestions to improve the story 3
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No matter how gently he said it, his words hit harder than any demon she'd ever faced.
No you don't.
And yeah, ok, maybe saying it so soon was a bit of a stretch. Maybe she didn't feel it all the way yet. But she was getting there. She had been for a while now. It had been so slow and subtle she hadn't realised it had been happening at all until those nights they had spent in each other's arms had made it too obvious to ignore.
Now she knew she was falling in love with him. All she needed was a little more time. Time he didn't have because they both knew this was the end of the road for him.
She didn't know how to tell him. She had no idea how to even begin to explain how she felt, nevermind in the limited amount of time they had left.
Words were failing her. Time was running out. And he was going to die here all alone, convinced she was lying to make him feel better about his fate. Convinced she never felt anything at all. Maybe even wondering if she had knowingly chosen to sacrifice him to spare Angel.
Her throat tightened painfully at the thought. He had tried so hard to be what she needed. Done the impossible to overcome his evil nature and turn into someone worthy of her. Someone she might want - someone she did very much want. He didn't deserve to die like this, thinking he was unloved. He deserved so much better… He deserved…
Her eyes had started prickling with unshed tears when the cavern shook violently and he let go of her hand, urging her to get out.
But she didn't budge.
Instead, something wild and untamed surged through her, making her stand her ground despite all logic. It might have been her slayer's instincts telling her what to do, or it might have been her heart, beating wildly for the man in front of her.
In any case, the newfound resolve to show him she meant what she'd said had replaced the panic from a second ago, and she stayed still, eerily calm while everything around them was shaking and rumbling deafeningly.
Spike's heart lurched when a glint of defiance lit her eyes as she was distinctly not running for her life. He closed his eyes and frantically tried to focus on pulling the brakes on this thing, but as he suspected, the powerful magic within the amulet couldn't be stopped until it had run its course.
He looked back at her imploringly.
"Buffy, please. You have to go," he urged, his voice breaking with anguish.
But of course the sodding bitch didn't move a muscle. Couldn't listen to him if her sodding life depended on it, could she?
Anger rose in him like a wildfire, and he was about to fucking roast her with the most venomous combination of insults he could think of, when she reached for him and hugged him from the side, carefully avoiding the golden beam coming from his chest.
He was stunned stupid for a second, fascinated by the vivid flames erupting from the contact - so terribly fitting. But then he realised what she was doing and snarled, desperately trying to break free.
"Don't. It's ok," she said firmly, clinging to him. "I'm here. I love you."
It was too late now, anyway.
A shattering sob shook his body, the blinding rage melting all at once. Then everything in him was howling in despair.
He'd failed the woman he loved. Again. He had one sodding job; save her. And still, he'd managed to bollocks it up. She was gonna die in this bloody hole with the pathetic sod that he was.
Tears were rolling freely on his face and he couldn't help it; he draped his right arm around her, returning the embrace as steadily as he could manage, hating himself for feeling even a shred of comfort at the way she relaxed a fraction and squeezed him tighter.
That was when it came. The excruciating pain of being incinerated from the inside out. And all he could think about as his skin and muscle tissues burned away and his organs exploded was that the same thing was happening to her and it was all his bloody fault.
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Buffy," he whispered brokenly as they both went up in flames.
Spike went out laughing in the serie, but obviously Buffy's presence changed everything for him...
Thanks so much for reading and I hope you enjoyed this short fix-it! I'll post the second and final chapter tomorrow! ;)