WARNING - GUARANTEED TEA-SPITTING HUMOUR AHEAD!
Location:
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry
Date:
13th October, 1990
Later that same evening...
"I am going to kill you, Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore," Severus Snape growled - literally growled - as he slammed the doors of the Great Hall open. The resounding bang echoed off the ancient stone walls, causing every head to swivel in his direction. The usual din of students' chatter fell silent, replaced by the sound of cups and cutlery freezing mid-air lost within the sound of a collective gasp as the Potions Master stormed into the room like a maelstrom of unchained fury.
"Se-Severus?" Minerva McGonagall stuttered from her place at the High Table, her spectacles slipping down her nose as she took in the returning wizard.
The Potions Master's eyes narrowed dangerously as he surveyed the stunned faces of colleagues and students alike. Their disbelief was palpable, thick enough to carve and serve with dessert, and with every step he took across the polished stone floor, Severus' anger only burned brighter; like a tightly-coiled serpent ready to strike at any moment.
"Minerva, if you ever think of asking that bloody fool to get me to replace you again, I will force-feed you a potion and trap you in your Animagus form before locking you in a room with Peeves," he hissed, his voice low and venomous as he addressed the Deputy Headmistress.
Minerva's expression was quick to shift from shocked to concern as she regarded the wizard, unable to stop her gaze from trailing up and down his form. "Th- is that really... you?" she stammered, eyes widening as they got a better look upon the rather devilish façade of curved horns, crimson flesh, and the unmistakable flick of a spaded tail; all of which she was certain was currently one Severus Snape.
The transfigured wizard's crimson lips could only curl with a mixture of disdain and frustration at the question, the weight of his recent humiliation hanging heavy over him. Yet, as Minerva continued, her incredulity only served to stoke the flames of his ire - and caused a sharp retort to become poised like venom upon his tongue.
"A-are they real?" Minerva couldn't stop herself from asking, eyes flickering to not only the horns protruding from Severus' hair, but also the increasingly twitching tail curling out from somewhere under his robes; something which should have told the cat-Animagus that the Potions Professor was rather annoyed with his most-current predicament.
Before he could unleash his pent-up fury upon the witch, however, a voice spoke up from behind Severus, drawing his attention like a moth being hog-tied and tossed straight into the flames - luring be damned.
"Ah, Severus, there you are," came the calm, collected voice of Albus Dumbledore - the one and only 'bloody fool' and Headmaster of Hogwarts - as he stepped into the hall; approaching both Severus and the High Table with measured steps. And twinkling blue eyes held a hint of amusement as they flickered over the wizard's altered form.
Severus' jaw clenched as he met Dumbledore's gaze with narrowed eyes, the elder wizard's serene demeanour doing little to assuage his mounting frustration. "Headmaster," he acknowledged tersely, that simmering rage now all but a raging inferno - and he could feel his tail twitching with his increasing anger.
Dumbledore's gaze softened with genuine concern as he regarded the Potions Master, seemingly realising that this wasn't the time for humour or jokes. "How was London?" he inquired, a note of sympathy colouring his words.
"It appears..." Severus began, nostrils flaring with his barely contained fury as he recounted the events that had led to his most unfortunate 'transformation'. "...that Miss Smith, one of our newest Muggleborns, took it upon herself to somehow tamper with her mother's tea. Something about 'Devil Fish' and there being a reason no-one wanted to step into the River Styx," he managed to bite out, every word spoken laced with utter contempt.
"Ah, yes, Miss Ren Smith," the Headmaster's expression remained placid, knowingly sympathetic even. "A spirited young lady, to be sure."
"No, Albus," Severus growled, his devilish visage made more ominous by the slashing motion of his tail and the red eerie glow of his eyes. "This was not mere spiritedness. This was a calculated act of mischief, a deliberate attempt to humiliate me. She deliberately tampered with her mother's tea, said nothing while said mother served said tea to a guest, and then laughed until her father sent her to her room!"
The Great Hall erupted into a mixture of stifled laughter and gasps, and Fred and George Weasley; Second Year Gryffindors and well-known pranksters of Hogwarts, exchanged gleeful looks, barely containing their mirth. Nearby, Percy Weasley shot them a disapproving glare, while other students exchanged amused glances, the novelty of seeing the dreaded Potions Master in such a state proving irresistible.
Dumbledore's twinkling eyes did not miss the silent exchanges and barely contained laughter. "I see," he said, his tone still maddeningly calm. "It seems Miss Smith has quite the imagination."
"Imagination?!" Severus snapped, his voice rising and caused several students nearby to flinch. "This is beyond a mere prank, Headmaster. She has used unknown magic - unlicensed magic! This needs to be dealt with severely."
Minerva rose from her seat, her expression stern. "Severus is right, Albus. This is serious. We cannot have students - even potential students - using such dangerous spells; and most certainly not on their Professors. We must find out how she even knew of such magic."
The Headmaster nodded thoughtfully at his Deputy's suggestion, though his expression remained annoyingly serene. "Indeed, I shall look into this matter, Minerva. But for now, Severus, I suggest we find a way to reverse this unfortunate transformation. Perhaps a visit to the Restricted Section might yield a solution?"
Severus' eyes burned with fury as he stared at the Headmaster, his transformed state a testament to his humiliation and rage. "Fine," he spat, his voice dripping with venom. "But know this, Albus: if this is not resolved soon, Miss Smith will wish she had never heard of Hogwarts."
As Dumbledore turned to lead Severus out of the Great Hall, the silent tension erupted into whispers and stifled giggles. Fred and George exchanged a final, conspiratorial glance.
In the flickering candlelight of the Great Hall, Severus Snape's devilish visage had been burned into their minds - minds of which were already turning over the endless possibilities of a Muggleborn with such mischievous talent joining their ranks.
And somewhere far, far away, a supposedly 'young' Ren Smith was surely grinning, her calculated act of rebellion marking the beginning of a legend that would echo through the halls of Hogwarts for years to come.