Notes from the Ceremorphosis Unit

by Someone Who Isn't Me

A series of rules, memos, and other documents translated from Qualith tablets found in the largest illithid colony in the Underdark. In the Ceremorphosis Unit, they transform prisoners and thralls into new mind flayers to serve the colony's Elder Brain. But even in this cruel and alien culture, there is still typical workplace drama and passive-aggression...

12. Guidelines For New Apprentices

1 Flamerule 1487

We would like to welcome you as part of the new cohort of Nourisher Creed apprentices rotating through Ceremorphosis Unit 3. You have likely already received the official rules and regulations of the Unit, but here are some additional guidelines for apprentices to keep in mind while training in our department:

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1. Arrive on time for each shift, and don't leave until the shift ends or you are dismissed by a full Creed member. If it is a slow day in the Unit and you have finished your tasks for the day, shadow one of the employees or ask if there is anything you can help with.

2. Do not modify any settings on the ceremorphosis pods or come into physical contact with tadpoles, hosts, or newborn illithids unless instructed to do so. Even if you think you know what to do or believe you are being helpful, it's best to leave any procedures to the professionals.

3. Be responsible for your own knowledge, and allocate time outside of your shifts for self-study. Use any downtime during your shifts to review your knowledge as well. A little knowledge and preparation will go a long way. You may review the materials provided by Ceremorphosis Unit 3 staff or access general information about ceremorphosis and illithid biology from the colony's telepathic network.

4. You may be periodically asked questions to test your knowledge. Answer any questions posed to you by Creed members to the best of your ability, but do not be afraid to admit when you don't know an answer. It is often worse to guess at incorrect answers than to say you don't know something but are willing to learn.

5. Be a team player. We are all part of the same colony, even if many of us seem to forget that at times. Remember that other apprentices' success will not lessen your own, so refrain from interrupting when others are speaking or answering questions directed to other apprentices.

6. Enthusiastically agree to perform any tasks assigned or offered to you by Unit employees or other members of the Nourisher Creed. The best way to learn is by doing, and the best time to gain hands-on experience is during your apprenticeship, when the responsibility for any negative outcomes rests on your preceptor.

7. Don't be afraid to ask questions if you don't understand something that is going on, but also be mindful of the best time to ask them. Do not disturb preceptors when they are busy with tasks such as tadpole implantation or caring for newly-awakened illithids, or when they are dealing with a medical emergency.

8. Treat the department thralls with a basic modicum of consideration, since most of them have been there longer than you. They are likely to know where items are located in the supply room, and can serve as a helpful resource in learning small details about the day-to-day operation of the Unit that your preceptors may have overlooked. Avoid direct mental domination unless absolutely necessary, since your interference may actually lessen the efficiency with which they perform routine tasks.

9. Refrain from unnecessary cruelty to the hosts selected for ceremorphosis. Anyone found teasing, frightening, injuring, or otherwise causing distress to a host will be immediately reassigned.

10. Similarly, treat the newborn illithids that result from ceremorphosis with patience and understanding. Avoid showing your frustration if they move slowly, act impulsively, or do not understand basic concepts. Strive to act as a mentor for them to look up to during their first few days of life in the colony, and remember that we were all in their position once.