Greetings this is your friendly HandBill93! I know I'm late to the party, but I've been getting around using archaic technology from Fanfiction. Anyway, I'm new, and this here is my first story, in case you are wondering. Now there's going to be alternate-canon in this story, so hopefully everything goes smoothly and squeaky clean. I have already uploaded this story on Archive for Our Own on the 4th of July. So, as of now: I'll be updating stories on that website, and maybe in the future I might up load to this website.
Disclaimer: I do not own the rights for Conker's Bad Fur Day from Rare & Microsoft. This story is based on fanfiction and purely made out of love. I only wished they did a better job of handling the series instead of those heartless jackasses that manage at Microsoft for being too greedy. If only I have the rights, which I don't, I could make this franchise even better. Too bad I ain't a game developer.
Warning: This story has language barrier. If you find it annoying for you not to understand? Then I totally get it. Every reader who understands and knows there native tongue, well, guess what? I'm doing this for the immersion.
Right! Anyway, let's get crack-a-lacking, people.
Here we go!
Chapter 1: Welcome to The Squirrel Army!
Welp… here we are.
Things don't always go as smoothly as you might think. So, considering the situation that you ended up with? You just earned a well trip to jail, and boy, what a crazy day. One moment you are drinking to your stupor and in the next has sent you to the slammer, but for Conker it was just one of those days.
For our dear squirrel, he was clearly not having a good, and being behind bars is not how he liked to spend the rest of his weekend. He was bored. So bored that he would rather get drunk again and pretend that this was all just an elaborate dream that he so desperately wished that it would be for him.
He had no freaking clue to what happened to him last night, but to him? It wasn't his first rodeo. Conker had done a lot of things that he certainly left a bad impression on the eyes of Panther Kingdom, and he had plenty of a laundry list: being an arsonist, a petty thief, a womanizer, a troublemaker, a greedy bastard, etc…
Like, seriously, sometimes he gets thrust into some situations that require a little extor-. I mean, bri-. I mean, a fellow citizen. Plus, he helped a lot of people… for a price, of course. Conker helped the bee kingdom by bringing back the hive from those nasty wasps, and he was rewarded with some sweet, sweet sponduli mullah…
Ok, maybe he did it for the money… and also bribed the Queen Bee. But hey! Money is money, so sue him, why don't you.
On second thought? Maybe not, better skip the whole being sued business and just get straight. Nah, that's terrible! He had to find a way to get out of this joint and disappear, and probably change his name to Emilio or something. Probably to use a fake name to score some babes. So funny you should ask, there's this one time he met a giant woman, who had the biggest set of honkers that he had suddenly felled in love with… only to be rejected.
Worst. Day. Of. His. Life…
…Although, there was this sunflower lady-.
*TAP*TAP*TAP*
Luckily, Conker, heard the sound of a weasel guard coming his way as he approached him, then giving the orange plag-. I mean, squirrel with a look of disdain. And boy does the guard hate him.
"Alright you, get up and follow me." Said the guard, "You've been summoned, so be on your best behavior."
Conker let out a haggard sigh, doing as he was told until the bars of his cell were opened. He stood up and walked out along with his prisoner uniform, which was a white jumpsuit with black stripes and a ball-n-chain around his ankle. Sometimes carrying a heavy chain with a ball strap was a huge pain in the butt for our Conker, so he had to settle for what he could get.
…Speaking of ball-n-chain, Conker felt curious to ask where he's being taken, "Uh, hey, gotta ask: where am I being taken? If you don't mind me asking."
"Couldn't tell you. Sounds like the Police Commissioner just wants this all hush-hush." The guard weasel replied with a shrugged, "Even wasn't told why they wanted you, but in my case, it is better if they put you on a firing squad and be done with it."
Conker sheepishly chuckled by the guard's crass comment, "Heh, how charming."
Both of them proceeded through the long hallway, the red squirrel is expecting to see where he might see the finish line in his destination. To be honest, he's extremely nervous and afraid at the same time, having no idea what to expect or why he needed him in the first place. Could it be for what he did last night? If so, then that wasn't his fault – to start with that.
…No, scratch that, he definitely might've guessed that what he did was his fault. I mean, he's Conker the Squirrel, anything that he does don't come out too well in the end. He sent a silent prayer, hoping that whatever is waiting for him isn't that seriously bad.
Oh, sweet Giddy Aunt, where's Berri when you needed her…
…Oh, Berri. She was long gone.
Conker made the mistake of thinking about her, and opening a wound so deep that pretty much felt so small to himself. It was all because of that heist job. If he had said no, then he would literally have gotten home and just forget about his troubles. But she had to be there, with him and with the mafia boss that he's gotten himself in trouble. He didn't know it was a trap, but went along with it because: money, of course.
So they robbed a bank, got caught up with Panther King, then getting sold out by that weasel, and getting her girlfriend killed in the process. His luck knows no bounds; not even a lick of good for Conker to give him a decent break. And to think all this time, they needed him to be some sort of support beam for his "majesty's" table.
Conker was so beyond mad that he just called the king out for being a total asshat, which made the big cheese furious. He sometimes wondered if he should've kept his mouth shut, but then things de-escalated for now, as our red squirrel offered a better solution before the king could go on a rampage. And that solution is that he asked his king to buy a new table to replace the old one; simple.
The King contemplated for a moment, then suddenly he decided that he should buy a new table. The Panther King has given him a pardon, including dropping the bounty on him (which he didn't know), and handsomely rewarding him with lots of money. Conker never felt like he just won the lottery: by becoming the biggest millionaire of all the land…
Except that he had nothing to share it with.
Conker lost the love of his life, his sweetheart, his cutie pie. And those jerks didn't even apologized for mudering her right in front of him. He had been miserable for these past months, drinking heavily and causing stupid havoc across town, making some folks angry for his behavior. And wouldn't you believe that he lost all his money on drinking and gambling, possibly burning it all because: why the fuck not.
He obviously didn't care anymore. The red squirrel could never be happy after what happened to her; he tried his to look for some hot babes, but never could fill the empty hole that still left an empty void. Conker even went far enough to have a relationship with that sunflower lady with those big-.
"Sweet Giddy Aunt! What am I thinking!" Conker replied in shock for having such thoughts.
"What was that?"
"Nothing." He told the guard while trying to slap himself mentally from those accursed memories.
Not too long, Conker and his escort reached their destination. Then suddenly, the guard asked him to step him inside and told him to wait until the police commissioner finishes his business until he attends him. So, here he was sitting down on the table, waiting until he received what sort of punishment he might get, hoping it's not community service. Conker would rather drown in a pool of poo, even if it stinks so bad for it to be enough for death to take him home…
Wait, he did died! As in, near death? Ah, nuts.
He remembered meeting the Grim Reaper, Gregg, was it? A strange fellow if Conker does say so himself. Well, isn't this just great for him, not only he has nine lives but he hoped to have a quick death and be done with this miserable situation, and just this once he prayed to take his-.
"Look mister Author." Conker replied, "I know you're trying, but can we please not talk about my midlife crises, thank you."
…
*clears throat* Anyway, Conker waited and waited until he sits and mentally prepares to expect the unexpected. His left leg started to shake a bit as he felt his nerves starting to kick in.
As the old saying goes: It's just one of those days.
~OOO~
(Sometime Later)
Bored. Bored. Bored. Bored…
Conker lifted his head off the table and groaning out of boredom. He is having the worst time of his life sitting in this interrogation room, or whatever you want to call it; not having any clue of how much time has passed, is just painstaking torture. And to think that everybody hated him was this bad, couldn't comprehend the total of boredom is so~~~o torturous, making him slam his head on the table repeatedly until some form of miracle happen.
He stood up and walked around like a mindless zombie as he counted how many fingers he was holding up, which wasn't working, by the way. Conker was doing playing exercises and playing patty cake with the wall in which he named: David.
Having David was the best thing that ever happened to him, the best of the best, in fact, he became friends with a wall that appreciated him for being such a good friend. They played a lot, as in chess, eye spy, gossiping and so much more. His wall friend even loved to listen to his wild adventures on how his day became a bad wholesome of karma that Conker wouldn't have possibly believed that he had. I mean, there was one time he had to swim in a steaming pile of s-.
"BOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRDDDDDDAH!"
Conker finally snapped as he began scratching the walls and banging the glass window that he almost could guess that they were watching, "I know you're watching, I know you guys are enjoying this! If you don't show up for the next five minutes, I'm gonna take a huge •••• on the table! If I had to go that far, I'll throw •••• everywhere, even if I humiliate myself!" He screamed to no one, making him more furious, "You ••••••• are nothing but jerks! Fine! Be that way, see if I care, ••••••• ••••!
Oh, he's gonna do it. He is definitely gonna do it. And not gonna lie, he is on the brink of insanity if he doesn't see someone and attend him to hear about his crimes so he could just sleep and never wake up from Loo-Loo Land.
*JIGGLE*JIGGLE*
Suddenly, he heard the door as someone finally came and entered the room. Conker was finally glad that his miracle came through… for about five hours. But anyway, he was glad that the Police Commissioner arrived just in time before his mind would've been fried for being isolated in a room with nothing to do.
As said, the Police Commissioner appeared to be an alligator with a not so friendly look on his, which is understandable. He seemed to be disheveled from the looks of it: his white dress shirt being rolled in his sleeves, slacks that looked to be crooked for not being ironed, and he seemed to smell really funky for not taking a bath. I guess you could say that this guy is the definition of being a workaholic.
The Police Commissioner seized him with a stare that could paralyze someone to throw fear on the table, and Conker felt the hairs on his back flinch for intimidating this guy is.
"Sit."
Conker complied, and he didn't say a single word as the alligator cop sat down with a folder in his hand. He then sees him opened up the folder as he read the contents of his criminal activities.
"Let's start with introductions: my name is Gabe." Said the Police Chief, "And I'll be questioning you for the rest of this interrogation, so state your name please."
Conker cleared as he spoke, "Uh yeah, hello, Gabe. Ah, I'm Conker. Conker the Squirrel. I'm guessing you know about me."
Gabe didn't acknowledge him, he just started the file in his hand while sipping coffee at the same time. Conker didn't like that he was being, and he could say that the alligator is a real piece of work. He can only hope that he goes easy on him; for Giddy Aunt sakes, he hoped that wasn't the case.
"Conker the Squirrel: Local troublemaker at the age of 22, a petty squirrel with a knack to get into situations that deemed to piss off a whole community." Gabe read his file while still not looking at him until he kept going, "So what appears to be that you sometimes like to cause a bit of a ruckus for burning things when somebody tends to piss you off. Gee, I wonder why?"
"Well, technically that was not true, you see-."
"Oh, wait, my mistake. It says here that you sometimes burn things down while under the influence." Gabe interrupted him as Conker hissed at the mention of his alcoholic tendencies, "Pretty much, you clearly caused plenty of accidents in which by the way is no accident, as you sent a lot of people to the hospital with some second and third-degree burns, while others…? Not so lucky."
Conker shifted in his seat and squirming as the Police Chief continued reading the in his hand without looking at his direction.
"Oh, and get this: you pretty much stolen a priceless automobile from some random cavemen as you were driving under the influence, again." He continued, "Crashed the car into some random store that sells *clears throat* special toys and totally blew up the place."
This is clearly not his day.
"And there's another case where Mrs. Petunia had an affair with you while under the influence, again." Gabe kept reading, "Then you were caught in the act as the husband proceeded kicking your ass for sleeping with his wife."
"Uhhhhh." No words can help for Conker.
Gabe was not done, he's literally throwing ammo at him, "You massacred an entire caveman clan while writing the blood of them that spells: 'Jugga please go out with me, I really love you'. As in, again: dead ass drunk under the influence. And making the giant woman cry with crocodile tears, no pun intended."
"Ohhhhhhh." He's not feeling too good.
"But wait… there's more!" Gabe replied in a chipping manner, "It says here that you conduct a heist, stealing money from the world's biggest bank, and getting away with everything-."
"STOP! STOP! STOP!" Conker screamed while trying not to hyperventilate his breathing, "I get it, it's serious; just stop, please."
Gabe finally looked up at him as he finally closed the folder. He then folded his hands and rested his chin, "These are serious charges, Mister Conker. Do you have any idea how serious this is?"
"Yeah, I do." Conker looked down in shame, and trying to avoid his stare. Damn, he felt pathetic, even he knew this day would come, "But I hardly remember what I did these past couple of days."
"Well, it's obvious that you can't hold your liquor." Gabe said, "You are a walking natural disaster; that is too much, I can say."
It really is over for him.
Conker just had to push it, didn't he. He was afraid that something like this could happen, and he might as well as forget about escaping prison; clearly no way to escape the most dangerous maximum jail of all across Panther Kingdom. He might spend decades digging his way under the ground with only a spoon, a spoon for Pete sakes!
It's like universe decided to throw him left and right, while unaware of the things that have been happening around him. He really wished he could wake up from this nightmare and pretend that he was sleeping with his girlfriend all cuddling and spooning him to his heart's content…
…Oh, Berri.
"That would've been nice." He mumbled, "Thanks for reminding me."
"What?"
Conker forgot that he was having a conversation with Gabe, "Ah, nothing."
Well, things started getting weird. He only hoped he doesn't get the idea that Conker is mentally insa-. Oh, who was kidding, he is totally insane. The charges said pretty much, and he can tell that there not the best results of his track record. So it really is hopeless for him, isn't it?
"So, what's going to happen to me?" Conker asked.
Gabe massaged his leathery snout, and he let a haggard sigh before proceeding, "Well, judging by your record here? I say that your chances are pretty much shot." He said, "But as much as I hate to say this, I have good news for you, you little tike."
Conker's ears perked up by hearing this, "Really? Oh! Then what is the good news?"
"Don't get excited squirrel, you haven't let me talk." Gabe cleared his throat before reaching the folder and pulling out a piece of paper, "It comes to the attention that Conker the Squirrel is hereby guilty of all charges by the request of the Panther King, and Immediately sentenced to be shot by dawn."
"Th-That doesn't sound good at all-."
"I'm not finished yet, shorty." Gabe said, "The bad news is, for me, is that some higher paid grade rich asshole decided not to let you be shot by firing squad, so instead giving you a way to pay your debt and earning your freedom." He gave the red squirrel a sinister crooked smile before continuing, "Basically, that bastard paid a lot of money on you for a very good reason, and as much I hate to say that I prefer the first option there, boyo."
Conker couldn't tell if this is a game of opposite day or something; it appears that the Police Chief may have it out for him, or the fact he's enjoying the power the cop is inflicting on him for being such a sadist. It's understandable that he want to have some power over, but that doesn't mean that he just-. Wait? Did he say he was being bought?
"Ah, excuse me, did you say that I've been bought?" Conker answered, and he felt flabbergasted if his twitchy fluffy ears haven't deceived him, "What do mean by that?"
"Like I said, someone decided to buy you off because it caught your eye on your performance." Gabe shuddered on what he said, "I have no ••••••• clue why they would want you when we are almost home free to close this case. But this guy said he wanted you to earn your debt for whatever •••••• reason."
Conker had a haunted look on his face, "I've been bought. I've been bought."
"Yes, I heard you the first time." Gabe rolled his eyes in annoyance.
"I'M A SLAVE!" Conker slammed his hands on the table, his emotions spiraled out of control; not knowing what to feel about this.
Gabe was shocked to hear before he waved his hands hysterically, "What!? No-no-no-no-no! Not like that! Those are some things that we do not agree."
"Are you kidding me!? It sounds like it!" Said Conker.
"*sigh* Look this will all be settled once this guy comes-."
*KNOCK*KNOCK*KNOCK*
"Oh! There he is now."
Conker swiveled his head violently to look at the door to be greeted by his captor. He had to say the man who came in looked to be a strong-chiseled squirrel, wearing a military uniform: with brown overalls, brown boots, decorated medals/a medal of his face, and wearing a green helmet with three stars. The big squirrel radiates leadership and also a nack for demanding respect.
Whoa, the Gabe wasn't kidding that this guy is loaded with money. I mean, military big wigs get paid to the highest bidder for operations that they take charge on the field. But, however, Conker had no idea of what would a high-ranking military official be doing here in a place like this? He's sure that the big man has other important things that… he…
Wait a minute? He has forgotten that this muscle-for-brains is the guy who bought him! Drat! Son of a bitch! Oh, Conker will wring his neck for this. But he has forgotten that he's a convict; that is a double drat for him. He then crossed his arms in annoyance and just cursed under his breath.
"Oh, I didn't expect to meet such a prestigious squirrel such as yourself." Gabe was surprised by the decorative general in front of him, "It's an honor to meet you, sir."
"The pleasure is all mine." The General with pins and medals puffed his chest out in pride, "Alright then, I'll take it from here, Commissioner."
The Police Commissioner was shocked to hear this, "Sir! Surely, you don't mean to be around with this-."
"I said: I'll take from here." The General gave him a stern stare, seeing the alligator sigh, he then left the room with just him the red squirrel in present. The big squirrel turned his attention to the convict, "Daaaaang, boy! If I didn't know what kind of hole you crawled out off? I would've shaken your hand for such outstanding display. Why, I haven't seen this kind of carnage since my days of youth. Ah, the good ol' days."
…
'Is this guy for real!? So much for respect.' Conker inwardly thought.
"Now, you may be wondering why I saved you from being shot by dawn?" The General replied in a professional manner, even grabbing Conker's attention of what he said, "First and foremost, I paid good money to get you out of that situation, so it took me a while to convince the king to give you a better way out for you to pay your debt for your crimes for you to be a free squirrel, and I luckily succeeded on that! You're welcome, by the way.
Conker is both relieved but on edge at the same time, because he knew where this is going. And he didn't like it one bit, not one at all.
"So, I need a guy like you to help fight for the cause of this war that's been going for a while. It's been two years, and we've been gaining some sort of ground as we have been pushing those damn Tediz off the coast of everyone's land." The General explained the situation as he somehow pulled a chalkboard out of nowhere before pointing the dots, circles and squares, "So you see, these evil teddy bear bastards have been causing a lot of chaos on the other side of the world, especially on France, so we need to strike them were those ••••••• won't know what hit him. It won't be easy, but if push through the defenses, we-."
"Ok, I'm gonna stop you right and say: I'm not interested in a war that doesn't mean a thing to me." Conker massaged his temple, and having terrible moment to know that this big squirrel is trying to draft him in army because of what he can do. Seriously, everything that he has done for the past weeks or even months was because he was dead ass drunk! "So, if that was your reason for trying to buy me off my freedom, with a side note for me to clean off my mess, I rather be shot by a firing squad."
"In the army, there's a motto: •••• that ••••!" The General replied.
"Oh, charming." He snidely said as he rolled his eyes out off disrespect.
The Big squirrel only sighed in pity, "Look, sonny, I know you didn't ask for this, but we pretty much need all the help we can get." He continued, "And we already have like 100 volunteers for the war effort, not a bad number. But again, we need all the help we can get, and I need you to help us win the war."
"No."
"Do you really want to be shot?"
"Ah, not really?" Conker scratched the back of his in embarrassment, and to be honest? He's not really looking forward to getting shot, "Look I thought I was going to get a pardon from the King and some – ugh – community service or something. So, to be honest, I haven't guessed that this would be my way out; you get me?"
The General nodded, "I feel you; I'm only providing you an easy way out to clear your name, with the only way for me to wipe the slate clean."
"Even if I joined, I still get killed even if I'm deployed." Conker explained, "That still doesn't even count."
"Nothings for free, sonny boy." He said, "And besides, the king is not expecting you to live to see another day. He thought that my idea would be good this is a way as a means to punish you, and a way for you to earn your freedom. So by all means, this is your only chance, and the only way for you to survive and be free."
"Look, I don't know-."
"Just think it over." The General cut him off before continuing, "You still have the right to choose: be either shot by dawn, or joining the army and earning your freedom. Those are your only two choices, so no pressure, ok? But I still consider for you take offer the second, and again no pressure."
Conker contemplated on what he should do. He definitely did not want to be executed by that crazy bastard cat that tried to kidnap him, which he tried to use him as a support beam for his broken table. And as for the other, he certainly did not want to be drafted in the military and be forced to fight a war, even though he was bought and purchased, which it freaking sucked.
He let out a sigh, and he finally pondered the option that pretty much would regret him until this day. Conker had hoped that this was the only way for him to repay everything back for the things he had done.
It's just like old times, and very bad ones.
"Alright… fine." Conker weakly spoke, "I'll do it. I'll join army." The General gave him a proud smile, only for Conker to look at him in the eye, telling him that he wasn't done, "But on one condition."
"Name it." He said.
Conker let out a sigh until he spoke his agreement term, "I would like to have my wrist golden pocket watch. It's a family heirloom, and the cops have it after they confiscated my belongings."
"Done." The General accepts the terms, as he then raised his arm to give him a proper shake to seal the deal.
The red squirrel shook his hand, sealing his fate for what is to come. So, now that is out of the way? He's curious to ask about the enemy he's going to face, "So, now that we shook hands and now I'm in the military, I've got to ask: who are these Tediz, and where they come from?"
"Before we discussed this, I want to know your name." The General replied, "I'll start with mine: I'm Lieutenant General Leslie, I take charge with the Squirrel High Command, or S.H.C, or whatever that •••• may you call." He made a careless hand motion, "Right your turn."
Conker cleared his throat, "Ah, I'm Conker, Conker the Squirrel. And that's pretty much it."
"Dang. Heh, try and live a little there, sonny." Leslie said, "Anyway, to answer your question: No. I have no idea where they came from. They popped up outta nowhere for the last six years, including those ••••headed weasels being their allies, as well. Ever since then, the C.R.A has been having problems with them for a while now. So the S.H.C has been requested by them to back them up, because it was clear how serious a threat they posed, and they're evil and want to rule the world. So, it's our job to eliminate them as much as we can before it's too late. And another thing they-. Wait a minute? Shouldn't you know everything about this? Haven't you read the news, boy."
Conker only shrugged innocently, knowing full well of the news of the world but decided to pretend he didn't know; only enjoying some self-satisfaction from watching his face fumed.
"Darn kids. No respect for elders." Leslie grumbled. "Anyway that's all she wrote."
Conker snickered at the pun, 'I bet she is.'
"Now, any question?"
"No." He only shook his head, "But I wondered when am I going to be drafted?"
"Today." Said the General.
Shit, Conker thought that he had more time than he expected, but when in wartime, there's no rest for the wicked for a squirrel like him. He slammed his head on the table in defeat, but then he immediately brushed it off, as if not to complain about it.
"Chin up, son!" He said, "You'll be making your country proud."
"Yeah, right." Conker muttered himself.
"What?"
"Nothing."
The General checked his wrist to check the time, and unfortunately, it's time to get things moving, "Alright, soldier, listen up: I'll talk to the police commissioner for him to gather everything that he confiscated from your things. Then I want you to meet me outside at 0130 hours, and then at 0113 you-… wait, no, ah, ••••. Tell you what, •••• that •••• and get yourself ready because we are leaving."
"You got it, Leslie." Conker replied.
The General gave him the stink eye, "Got it what?"
Conker sighed in annoyance, "You got it… sir."
"That's more like!" The big squirrel puffed his chest up. He then approached the door and knocked twice to signal the police commissioner that his business his done, "Ok, I'm finished."
Suddenly, Gabe entered the room and stood in front of the military squirrel. He looked to the squirrel with an annoying frown that somehow was feeling very defeated at this point, "Did I miss something?"
"Heh-Heh-Heh. Nope." The General replied in a chipper manner, "But I'll be taking things from here, I'm going to escort my new recruit to the army. He'll be serving our proud country."
The Police Commissioner's eye widened until a sinister smile stretched across his face, "You don't say…? Well, I'm sure a fella like you would make everyone proud, he-he-he. I salute you, squirrel."
"•••••••, the lot of you." Conker cursed under his breath.
"That he is." The General said, "Listen, I will like if you can retrieve some of his belongings, so that will be on our way, if you don't mind."
"Sure, wait a moment." Gabe then left the interrogation room to retrieve the prisoner's items of trinkets."
…That only left with Conker and Leslie in the room, as they were quiet for a moment. Until the General spoke, "You've made the right choice. You may not like it, but it's a good one, so don't waste this opportunity. You only get one shot."
"Uh, yeah, whatever you say… sir." Conker replied sadly, thinking if he ever made the proper choice. Let's hope it was worth it, "…It's gonna be one of those days."
~OOO~
(On a Military Transport Truck)
Conker was seated in the back of the truck with MP guards covering both flanks along with General Leslie. He somehow had a sense of Déjà Vu that things are started to repeat themselves like a broken record with the events that already transpired between his bad day.
The ride was very unpleasant, the roads were bumpy in which he felt sick to his stomach. Conker had to wonder how long they were gonna reach from this so-called military base that he oh so was forced to drag into. But there is a silver lining in which he was glad he wasn't executed by the cat king that he nearly almost tried to use him, so he was more relieved to live to see another day.
However, at the same time, he absolutely felt contempt about this whole thing. The fact that a military man decided to purchase him from his supposed murder happy skills were mostly troubling for Conker. He was sure that he couldn't remember much about what he did, but in the end don't matter because it won't fix everything that he touched.
So right now, Conker is on his way to fight some war from a band of crazy teddy toys and a bunch of weasels that totally set up shop in Germany. To say that they were clearly a good recipe combination for spreading poison for natural disasters. He definitely read the papers that the Tediz were utilizing chemical weapons to fight of against the Royal Chipmunk Army. And when they came back? They were monsters that barely are recognizable anymore, and scarred by the Tediz machine.
Many citizens looked down upon them for being a thing rather than being a person. He remembered walking by and seeing them store owners telling veterans that they don't have any jobs, which that's stupid because the fliers were posted at their freaking door looking for someone to be hire, but not allowing veterans? No siree, mate. Not even to spare a nickel and dime for them to earn a living, which was awful.
Conker wondered if that were to happen to him, if they win the war, or not. But he supposed that he prays that the war would be over sooner rather than later. He only hoped that whatever payoff he got involved would help clear out this mess…
…As long as he stays alive, that is.
"So, excited to start your career of the day?"
Conker was snapped out of his funk when he heard General Leslie talk to him about his 'new' job, "Umm. I guess. This all new to me."
"You're gonna love it, it will be spectacular." Leslie replied, "When we reach Camp Buckwheat, Imma assign you to Captain Odin's squad. There a real house bunch, the best of the best. You'll be one happy dysfunctional family."
"Charming." Conker muttered.
As the truck kept driving towards its destination, Leslie continued on speaking, "Once we get to camp, we're gonna start whipping you into shape for you to learn the basics, we only have about seven months for us to start mobilizing for the day: Operation T-Day."
Suddenly, the truck finally stops.
"Ok, guys. This is our stop, welcome to Camp Buckwheat!"
Conker heard the driver announce, and before he could get up, he was then pushed down by the MP officers as they told him to wait for instructions. Then he saw Leslie pulled out a duffle bag as he gave it to the red squirrel at his feet.
"Here are your dreads, fresh clean and pressed." He said, "I suggest you get changed out of your jumpsuit in the truck before we proceed at the moment, I'd rather not have eyes on me on why I have brought a convict with me. Oh, one more thing: I already told Captain Odin about you, all except that nobody in this here base knows nothing about you, so I guess it's best that way."
Conker nodded, "Thanks."
"Heh-Heh-Heh. Welcome to 53rd Regiment, soldier." He chortled, "Now get and get changed, Private. I have a date to attend to before I introduce you to your unit."
~OOO~
(At Base Camp)
It was as easy as any other day than yesterday.
As the war continues he had to wonder how long things are going to go on like this, well, certainly not for Captain Odin, that's for sure. He had to remind himself how many more men will he have to keep them in line to make sure that everyone stays alive.
Well, plenty of them obviously…
He was nervous. Captain Odin was nervous because in seven months, troops are going to start being in deployed for combat. Not to say that he was looking for an itch for a fight, but sometimes he had to be ready for the worse: write letters to widow's, attend to people who're mentally shellshocked, and not to let any single squirrel die on his watch. He will bring them home no matter what, because that is what he will do.
About two years ago, he had read the entire dossier about a group called: The Tediz Empire. It was surprising that a bunch of psycho teddy bears are causing chaos across all Europe. In fact, it's ridiculous because teddy bears are meant to be cuddly, cute, and fuzzy-wuzzy; not murderers or genocidal maniacs. But he also read the reports that the appearance of these monstrosities are made by one weasel, whose identity was yet to be known.
Then the rumors about using chemical weapons on the battlefield that the enemy used it to play on the field, gaining a significant amount of ground from their targets. A chemical component called: Mustard Gas. It was said to be a dangerous poison fog that completely destroys your nervous systems, once you breathe in the fumes, which basically it might kill you within seconds; very nasty. The people from the top were given a green light to use gas masks, should they even need to use them for such a special occasion.
Captain Odin shook his head, deciding that it would be best to focus on the task of whipping and shaping new volunteers to fight for the cause, hoping that things will go smoothly on this. And speaking of new recruits, he heard from the General that he's bringing a convict to the fold, and said convict meaning that he volunteered to payoff everything for the crimes that he had committed. How that's gonna work? Well, I don't know.
The little maggot better behave, or it's curtains for him in jail.
As he approached the barracks, he was greeted with his squad lounging around. If there is one thing that he didn't enjoy about soldiers being sharper and witted? It's slow paced couch potatoes in his unit. Oh, he will give them something to laze around acting like a pair of school teenagers.
"Attention!" Odin shouted towards his men.
The rest of the platoon scrambled around before standing up to attention. They were shaking like a pair leaves, but that was to be expected for anyone who dares to make a mess of things.
Odin approached his unit until he faced with the biggest squirrel who's screwball knows no bounds, "Corporal Igor, why haven't you cleaned your footlocker and your bedsheets, I can see the contraband of sweets you have been stealing from mess hall, Corporal. Again."
"Duh, I didn't still anything." He twiddled his thumbs nervously.
Odin was having none of that, he approached his footlocker until he reached his belongings before reaching the blankets and pulled the cover to see the bed filled up with used candy wrappers and used up lollipop sticks, making the big squirrel flinch, "Didn't steal anything, huh? Well, consider yourself punished. You'll be running for another 20 miles to Peacock Mountain, and then back to base!"
And just like that, Igor dropped to his knees sobbing, "Oh, please, please! Don't make go out there and go running! Oh, please not that! Have mercy!"
"Sorry, you brought this on yourself, now go!" Odin pointed at the door before the big fella stood up and walked with his head down in shame, then he proceeded to examine the rest of them until his eyes landed on something from the one-eyed soldier had hidden behind his jacket. The Captain then closed in on him before reaching out to pluck the object he had hidden as he then examined it, "Uh, what's this?"
"Ah, well, that's… uh."
He shoved the magazine to his face, "Pornography. Really. Pornography, Private!"
"Look, I can explain-!"
"I don't need to hear from your excuses!" Captain Odin fumed by this, "Now I'm going to do the same thing what I did to Igor, but this time, you're on latrine duty, Private Sam!"
"Oh, come on! This is bullshit!" Sam complained about getting the punishment.
Odin pulled out a shovel and a gas canister out of nowhere, "I can, and I will, now get to it, Private Shats!"
"THAT'S NOT MY NAME… sir!"
"Noted." Odin proceeded to inspect the unit while Private Sam left to go on clean poop. He looked towards his two only men until he spoke, "Men… we have a new recruit joining our ranks, so I want you to be on your best behavior, understand?"
Both squirrels have saluted, before Captain had done the same. Before anything can be said, the door to the barracks opened up as Sam entered the room.
"Why aren't you out there cleaning the pooper scoopers, I gave you an order, Private?" Odin annoyingly asked.
Sam straightened himself up before he replied, "Sir, General Leslie is coming this way towards our quarters, sir."
"What?" Odin said, "Are you sure?"
Sam nodded, "Yes, and he has someone with him walking along side him, sir."
The Captain had to guess that is in fact the prisoner he was now escorting with, so he wasted no time and order what's left of the men and reported them to head outside and wait further instructions, while Sam had to take the trip to the bathroom and clean up the mess.
~OOO~
Conker and Leslie continued on towards the destination, and let's just say that the drills he had seen would be something that he will spend for the next seven months. He had seen the training while he was walking alongside Leslie as he boasted something about how he singled-handed killed one hundred and twenty wasps with his bare hands. Somehow that is bullshit, if what Conker thought about it, but he wouldn't call himself liar that he sometimes boasts on some certain things that would do anything to get passage, like that nightclub in cavemen territory.
He contemplated on what he should do when he meets the gang in this unit he was assigned with. Conker was never much of making good impressions, especially with his ancestor (who he tried to kill but use him), but he was glad he got out of that mess when he escaped the castle a not so long time ago.
Anywho, it's best not dwell on the bad side of things and focus on the new. He'll do whatever is best to be a great team player and make sure he doesn't screw up upon things from painstaking, torturous assignments he might get…
Shit, he prayed that they won't be hard. No, scratch that, it will immensely difficult. Conker knows that he won't last a day in boot camp, he's simply going to crawl like a larva that just broken every bone in his body. He prayed to Giddy Aunt to her, begging for it not to be the case.
Conker saw someone in the distance, or some squirrels that seemed to be walking outside the barracks. He could guess that he was close to his assigned quarters as he approached. As he reached his destination, the rest of the squirrels immediately saluted in attention as the presence of Leslie's leadership came into play. He examined the rest of the crew as his eyes landed on a gray squirrel with a chipped tooth and bushy eyebrows as he looked at the front symbol on his helmet, pointing him that he's the team captain's leader. Now Conker may not be an expert in military ranks, but he only guessed it from his 'gut' feeling, so to speak.
Then suddenly, the team captain approached them as he was about to greet-.
"Conker? Is… Is that you?"
All three squirrels looked toward at the squirrel with goggles who spoke in surprise. That is when Conker recognized him from the distance that he immediately who it was, "What the-? Oh! Oh, hey! Hey, it's you Rodent! How you've been!"
"You know him!?" Both Leslie and Odin spoke in surprise until the General continued, "You know this red fur ball, Private-. Ah…? What was his name?"
Odin sighed, "Rodent, sir."
"Rodent! Yeah, I knew that." Leslie said, earning him an annoying eye roll from the Captain, "Well, I guess that saves me the trouble introducing him, I'll leave it to your hands now, Captain. Good luck."
"But, sir! I, dah-." Captain Odin only groaned as he facepalmed himself when the General walked away to present the new recruit to everyone, so that leaves him to pick up the slack. Wonderful. He then set his eyes suspiciously on Rodent before he spoke, "How do you know who he is, Private Rodent?"
Rodent felt embarrassed for being the center of attention before he spoke, "Umm. He's my friend, and my drinking buddy. We go way back… Uh, sir."
Odin gave him an analyzing look before he looked his other grunt, "What about you, Private Scratch? Know anything about our new recruit?"
"No, sir." Scratch said, "First time hearing him, sir."
"Yeah, he's friend of mine." Conker interrupted the conversation, "Rodent and I go way back; he and I we used to-."
"Did I give you permission to speak recruit?" Odin sternly replied.
Conker realized what he did before slamming his lips shut. He realized should've kept his mouth, "Ah… no."
"No what?" Said the Captain.
Conker whined like a child, "No… sir."
Odin is satisfied with this until he spoke to his two soldiers, as he wasn't finished with them, "Private's Rodent and Scratch, since you aren't off the hook for playing hookie, I'm going to commence your punishments. Private Scratch! You're on potato duty, so report to the mess hall at 0245 hours, that's an order, soldier."
"What!? Again!?" Scratch complained.
"Yes. Now on the double!" Odin replied before seeing leaving the premises to head towards the mess hall, then he sets his eyes Rodent, "And as for you, you are to give are newest recruit a tour around the base, and to make him sure he's not lost, understand?"
Rodent saluted, "Yes, sir."
"Before you do that, Private." Odin pointed his finger at the barracks, "I want you to clean up the mess you fellas made, as I talk to our Recruit with a few things. Are we clear?"
Rodent nodded before saluting him and heading towards the barracks to clean the mess they made.
Now Conker stood at attention to his commanding officer as he then saw him stand so close, directly staring at him. He had a feeling that he knows something, that the officer knew what he was letting on.
"I heard what the General told me on the phone." Odin looked at him with contempt as he said, "You better give me a good damn reason why you are here… Conker. And it better be a good one. Speak."
Ouch, that's cold. No, not cold, more like deep frost.
Looks like he won't be so friendly with him, after all. Conker knew that this was expected of him, even he felt small in his situation. He mentally cursed Leslie for speaking about his crimes to his team captain, because this will be one hell of a nightmare for what he was about to do to him.
"Look, I know I done wrong, and I apologized." Conker swallowed his nerves as he continued speaking to his captain, "But it's not like I have a choice for being here, isn't it? I only took the deal because I didn't want to get shot by the Panther Kings guards, and also a way for me to pay off every debt from the mess that I made. I want to try and make this right, so I won't let you down."
Odin was having none of it, "I don't give a •••• of what you have to say to me, and not from some pine-•••• no good for nothing mother••••••• that thinks that this is a one-way ticket to earn some sense of freedom. I don't know what the General saw in you, but I can tell that is something special considering your criminal record, and I'll be damn sure that your heinous actions don't happen here. In here, you serve the branch for your country; look at each other's back as we watch our brothers in arms fight for a cause that means something to them and to me, and I'll do anything for them to be there one step of the way. But you? You are nothing but scum, the lowest of the low. You have to earn your place in order for you to show your respect to me, and to show proof that you mean it. And if I find out that you are trying to escape, even run off like a coward in combat, I will hunt you down in the pits of hell, drag your worthless corpse back to base. And then I'll finish the job for me to put a bullet in your head, so I could put you outta your misery like a common criminal you are! Because, as of right now, I am your warden! Do. You. Understand!"
Conker felt his knees starting to shake.
"ANSWER!" Odin howled.
Conker stood straight to attention in fear, "SIR, YES SIR!"
"Um, excuse me?"
Both Conker and Odin looked directly at Rodent, who seemed to be twiddling his thumbs nervously. The squirrel looked to be shaking in fright, and even close to fainting.
"I, ah, finished cleaning. Sir." Rodent replied feebly.
The Captain straightened himself up, "I see. Well, carry on to your next assignment."
Before the party can be dismissed, there was a huge squirrel coming their way all sweaty and disheveled as he panted heavily like a dog with its tongue out with the lack of hydration. It seems that Corporal Igor finished his 20-mile run, and not a bad record to be precise.
"I… *pant*pant* …done." Igor said as he took huge amounts of air in his lungs, "Finished… Huuuaaah."
Odin saw Igor collapse on the dirt as he lost consciousness, so he had to say that his training has been improved, even though he's empty-headed, he could never be proud that he had improved. So when the next morning comes? It's time to show these maggots how real well-oiled machine troops know how to fight, and he would make them strong enough to fight the enemy if he has to.
As for Conker, he knew that his nightmares might come true. His day had only begun, and he knew that his job was going to be one hell of a bad fur day.
~OOO~
(Hours Later – In the Barracks)
Conker and Rodent made it back to their quarters as it late evening, with the sun setting over the horizon. He sort of enjoyed the tour around the base, all except restricted areas, but Conker was glad that he got to enjoy talking to his old drinking buddy… and friend if he considered it. The whole day was more like one that just so quickly happened in one place, because yesterday he was on a rampage, then today woke up in a cell in a prison jumpsuit, and being drafted into the army.
How time flies.
Anyway, speaking of the day and the tour, Conker managed to slam head first into the bed as he was tired from today's activity. He looked up at the wooden ceiling until he had his hands behind his head and just relaxing for the moment; not having to think about the next seven grueling, hellish months of training in Camp Buckwheat, including the day of infamy.
He had met some of the crew while he's on tour. Private Scratch: A squirrel with a nack of setting things on fire as he was assigned in the flamethrower mechanized unit to train and burn things done, which he had got into trouble sometime ago for accidentally burning the armory; almost losing everything, so he was assigned to this unit because how crazy he could swing around with that flamethrower. Private Sam or Shats, clearly the second was not his name: He's a recon sniper who does not let out of his sight as he will attempt not to move from his spot until the enemy's being cornered or trapped. So, basically he's a hunter, like a poacher, only that is not specialized in killing animals, and he seemed friendly for the most part. Corporal Igor: He's a big cuddly overweight squirrel with a heart full of sunshine and rainbows, with a sweet tooth problem, as he's assigned to the demolishing unit while handling dangerous explosives. You would think a guy like him with a small brain would handle such dangerous equipment is beyond him, and he likes to give friendly bone crushing hugs for everyone who considers him his friends.
As for the Captain? Well, he has not much to say, as Conker already knew that man was a tough S.O.B with a sense of duty and patriotism. Jeez, both Leslie and the Captain should together in one room, if you know what I mean.
Conker shook that thought away before it burnt it into his memory. That is the last thing that he needs right now. But other than that, he felt the drowsy of sleep coming to play as he was ready to sleep into Loo-Loo Land.
"Hey… Conker?"
So much for sleep. Conker shifted his head to the side and saw Rodent looking at him with a somewhat guilty look, "What is it?"
Rodent gulped nervously, "Is it true that you are in big trouble? I… heard the conversation you two were having outside… a-and I don't mean to pry, it's just the Captain tends to loud sometimes."
Oh, wow! This is becoming so sad that Rodent's eyes are puppy-eyed ones. Dammit, why did he have to look so sad with that look.
"Eh. It's nothing, Rodent." Conker brushed off the subject, "I'm sure you have questions, but it's best not to talk about it."
"I'm your friend, Conker." Rodent replied, "I, uh, don't mind if you need someone to talk to."
Conker felt the strings of his heart being pulled, feeling glad that his friend was trying to help him. He sighed, "I appreciate, but you have nothing to worry. I'm glad you asked, though."
"I… Thank you, Conker." He smiled sadly.
Both friends smiled as they both began to laugh, forgetting about the sad moments and focusing on the good side of things. Even if Conker may not have been there for Rodent; at least he will try to be there when they need each other for them to survive the boot training and the war.
Everything is silent, and Conker thought that was the end of the conversation. He decided to close his eyes and rest to get the best to sleep of his-.
"Do you think it's that bad?"
Conker's eyes flew open until he looked at Rodent, "What?"
"The War." Rodent said, "Do you think is that bad? Across the seas?"
"Ugh. I don't know." He groaned, "I don't know much about, except hearing it on the news… But I guess it pretty is bad."
Rodent shuddered in fear, "I sometimes couldn't sleep, and I always wake up scared, not even my personal teddy. Until I found who the enemy was before I sent it back home to my folks." He heard Conker laughed at how childish he acted. Rodent was fumed, "I'm serious, what if we never come back!? Are we really going to live!? I-I… I don't know what am I supposed to do."
"Why are you asking me?" Conker said, "I have no idea what's going to happen to use once we set foot on their ground. It's best we wait and see what goes, instead of trying to guess what might happen."
Rodent looked depressed and scared, "I'm… I'm scared, Conker. I'm scared of dying."
"We're all scared… that's what makes us squirrels." Conker gloomed, talking about this was not helping ease his mind, and he was blaming Rodent for putting these thoughts in his head. Somehow, when he looked towards his friend's sad look, Conker felt like he should say something because of how his friend was telling him these things, unlike him. So, Conker sighed and spoke, "You really wanna know what the Captain and I were talking about?"
Rodent perked at him, grabbing his full attention.
"You cannot tell anyone what we talked about, got it?" Conker replied before he saw that Rodent placed his lips and making a zipper motion to keep his mouth quiet, so with that, he continued, "I got into some trouble; it was bad, and I got arrested for serious charges, and you don't wanna know. The king ordered my execution, as he wanted me to be placed on a firing squad tomorrow morning. Suddenly, I was bought and sold by the General for seeing my impressive set of skills – guys completely nuts, man – that caught his interest. Then he gave me the choice: join the army or being put on a firing squad. So, you probably wondered what comes next. I told him yes, I got drafted, I traveled here, and met you guys. So that's mostly it… and I'm here to earn to pay my debt for me to earn my freedom. Hoping that it's worth it."
"Oh, wow." Rodent was surprised to hear this, having no idea how much trouble Conker got himself into that brought him here in the first place to be in this situation. He probably won't ask him what he did, but he will promise to keep his story a secret, "I'm… sorry to hear that. Thanks for telling me, by the way."
"Don't mention it." Conker smiled sadly.
Rodent felt didn't like to push, but he attempted to try, "How did this happen? How it all started?"
…
The goggled eyed squirrel knew that he pushed too far, he shouldn't have said anything to upset that would most affect his friend's situation because he-."
"A wounded heart."
Rodent looked at Conker's soulless eyes as he stared at the ceiling. He couldn't believe that one moment his friend had life and became empty because of what he asked, and he felt he just touched a subject that shouldn't be said in this conversation. He practically had never seen Conker this sheltered and vulnerable to the time he had met… and it made him sad.
"It's getting late, I think we should go to bed." Conker told him with a vacant look before getting comfortable and finally closing his eyes as he started to sleep, "Good night, buddy."
"Oh, uh… good night. Conker." Rodent said as he proceeded to climb on his bunk bed and sleep for tomorrow's activity.
Conker, however, still couldn't sleep and stop thinking about of the question on why he made it happen, but it's no small room for acorns to know why he felt like this, and why he commits such actions. Well, so much for sleeping, and he will have a hard time trying to get these thoughts off his head.
Conker, honey. I love you.
That was the last straw for him, as he began to shed tears from the words of the love of his life speaking to him; a way of mocking him for his unrelentingly misfortune for losing Berri from the mafia. How she lay there on the floor: holding her in his arms as she cried, bleeding from the bullet holes she had received, and begging him to hold her until she died when the life of her eyes faded away through the wind.
It is definitely a nightmare he's going to be reliving.
~OOO~
(Meanwhile: Of The Coast on The Beaches of France – Tediz Bunker Base)
Construction has been a huge progress for the Tediz Empire, there are reports that the Royal Army has been making advances through the south of France. Those chipmunks are being clever swines for them being cunning and brave to dare foiled their plans. The reports states that High-command has making progress in pushing the enemy back to the coast, still not yielding to his disappointment, but still progress.
Trench battles and chemical weapons are a thing in today's war effort, which it is to say that it was glorious to see those mole rats suffer for their interference. Unfortunately, there has been leak reports on the other side of the iron curtain. The report stated that the squirrel military will joining the war in less – hence the construction on the beach – than seven months left until the battle commences.
They weren't worried, the Tediz weren't worried. Because they were ready to try and drive the enemy forces out of this claimed country they procured for themselves. Yes, ours. Just the way it should be, and for the glorious Tediz Empire.
Nothing will stand in there way.
"Oberleutnant Earl!"
His thoughts were interrupted as a Tediz wearing a black trench coat with black fedora hat, and a red band with 'T' on his left shoulder approached him on his way. Then Earl saluted at the Tediztapo with respect, awaiting orders or receiving one from base command."
"Wie ist der Baufortschritt, gibt es Probleme?" He said as he pulled out a cigarette out of his left pocket.
The Lieutenant shook his, "Nein, Hauptmann Gustav, alles läuft reibungslos. Wir haben gute Fortschritte gemacht, wenn man bedenkt, wie schnell wir vorankommen."
"Gut. Gut." Gustav was pleased to hear this, and it looks like things are according to plan. Well, for the most part, "Ich habe soeben vom Oberkommando die Nachricht erhalten, dass die Eichhörnchenarmee nach Norden auf unsere Position vorrücken wird. General von Kriplespac hat dies vorausgesagt."
Earl frowned upon this, "…Die Informationen sind also korrekt. In weniger als sieben Monaten werden sie in Frankreich einmarschieren. Ich werde dafür sorgen, dass sie ins Meer zurückgetrieben werden."
"Ich weiß, dass du das wirst, Earl." Gustav's morphed into a nasty grimace before continuing in venom, "Es gibt auch Berichte, dass die königliche Armee von Anfang an in Richtung Südfrankreich auf Bordeaux vorgerückt ist. Sie rücken in Richtung Lyon vor, wobei sie den Boden Frankreichs bedecken und sich der Grenze nähern. Diese Maulwürfe wissen nicht, wann sie aufhören müssen."
That made Earl bristle with anger, but he kept himself calm, unless he lose his temper. First the news that the squirrels are invading there position in the north, and the second is when the Chipmunk Alliance has been making progress in the south capturing key elements they had claimed for the past six years has been squandered. Even though he wasn't a stranger of knowing true defeat, but the thought of losing is not acceptable. So he'll make sure that everyone, including his unit maintain themselves sharp and alert for the enemy that will come towards their way.
"Stur wie ein Maultier." Earl said, "Wir haben sie unterschätzt, das steht fest. Ich werde mehr Personal anfordern müssen, um diesen Strand zu verteidigen."
Gustav crushed the entire cigarette in his woolly hand, "Der Feind versucht, uns einzukesseln, und Oberst Frederick ist in Paris und trinkt, isst und treibt es mit diesen französischen Mädchen. Seine Grenzen kennen keine Grenzen, der Idiot!"
"Was, schon wieder? Weiß er denn nicht, was hier auf dem Spiel steht?" Earl was shocked and surprised to hear this. His Colonel is out in Paris lazing and fooling around while ignoring his responsibilities of preparing for an invasion that will happen in the following months, he's realizing that things are somewhat spiraling out of control. So much for glory, that is. He then looked towards his Captain with fury, "Dieses ve••••••• Wiesel wird uns noch alle umbringen! General von Kriplespac wird dafür seinen Kopf fordern!"
"Beruhigen Sie sich, Leutnant." The Tediztapo pulled out another cigarette before proceeding to light the stick, then inhale the rich flavored tobacco into his lungs, "Irgendwann wird er merken, dass er Mist gebaut hat. Und ich werde dafür sorgen, dass diese Schande, die er an den Tag legt, persönlich geahndet wird. Der General wird sich darum kümmern."
"Ich hoffe, er tut es." Earl breathed in through his teddy bear nose until he exhaled, "Gibt es etwas Neues vom Widerstand? Irgendwelche Aktivitäten von ihnen, herr?"
Gustav only shook his head, "Nein, nicht wirklich. Sie haben sich im Moment ruhig verhalten, also nehme ich an, dass sie etwas planen, sobald die eigentliche Schlacht begonnen hat. Sie lassen sich also Zeit, aber das ist die geringste meiner Sorgen. Denn bald werden sie wie die Fliegen zerquetscht werden."
The lieutenant felt satisfied with this, because that gives him enough time to plan things to eliminate any third party threats that might hinder their plans for the preparation of the invasion. He only wished that things wouldn't spiraled out of control now like with news he had just learned just moments ago.
"Leider, Herr Leutnant, bin ich nicht nur hierher gekommen, um mich über den Stand der Bauarbeiten am Strand zu informieren." The bear Captain looked at Earl in the eye, "Ich habe von Oberst Frederick den Befehl erhalten, dass Sie in Paris gebraucht werden, um die Saboteure zu überwachen und auszuschalten, die terroristische Anschläge auf unsere Operationen verüben."
…He couldn't be serious. He's being transferred to head back to France? This is ridiculous, he's making progress and leading the construction team in good progress. Why is this happening, and what would the Colonel need him to deal with the Resistance in which they had been quiet for sometime!? What the actual s-.
"Sie sind von Ihren Aufgaben entbunden und werden sofort abtransportiert." Gustav let out a plume of smoke, "Das ist also ein Befehl."
Earl felt an unbridled rage boiling inside him, and that is because he never got along with the Colonel for being an over eccentric pompous rich asshole. The weasel had to much liberties when it comes to his rank and position, but he knows that swine is a coward, and not a good leader that's for sure, "Bi-Biitte um Erlaubnis zu sprechen, herr."
"Gewährt."
The bear Lieutenant swallowed nervously, "Wer... Wer wird mich ersetzen?"
"Darüber brauchen Sie sich keine Gedanken zu machen, Sie haben Pflichten zu erfüllen." Gustav replied, "Ein Kübelwagen, den ich mitgebracht habe, darunter auch mein persönlicher, wird Sie nach Paris begleiten und dort mit den Aufgaben beginnen."
…
He felt angry that he won't be overseeing the construction, which was cleared that he's disappointed with outcome. But Earl may guess that they need a lot of experts to handle terrorist situations like; he can only hope that he's not brought in to waste time, "Ich habe verstanden."
"Dann wünsche ich Ihnen viel Glück. Ich werde den Oberst informieren, dass Sie unterwegs sind." So with that Gustav saluted, extending his right arm from the shoulder and into the air with a straightened hand, "Ruhm für das Tediz-Reich. Heil Schickelgruber!"
Earl also returned the gesture, "Heil Schickelgruber!"
And with that Gustav had dismissed him before he left the premises. At the end of the day, there was nothing that Earl could since, orders are orders. He then looked up on the horizon, watching the oceans and clouds up ahead as he waited for the moment that is to come; a new threat is upon them, but he will do whatever it takes to win this war, even if he gets blown up with all his wool entrails until he sews them all back together. Earl would win, no matter what the outcome is predicted.
"Wir ... werden siegen." Earl muttered under his breath.
To be Continued
End of Chapter 1
Why have I wasted my life making this Story...?
...*Because I can*.
Well, that's all she wrote. So what are your thoughts and opinions? I would be appreciated to hear your thoughts and opinions to see what y'all think. Anyway, I'm off to engage in a heist to steal the rights, so stay tuned and will see you later on the next installment.
Oh, by the way? I changed my name to HandBill93 to avoid confusion between an account that already existed in which I cannot say, but now this is what I can offer on the table and whatnot.
Ao3 side Note: As you know, the character tag that says The Royal Chipmunk Alliance is something that I made up, so cool your jets because it's not canon. And besides, it's fanfiction! I can do whatever I want. Also, the General or Sergeant from the Level "It's War", I gave him a name, so I wouldn't have to call him by his rank; same goes at the rest. T-DAY is among us, so get ready.
The fight is upon us.
Happy Fourth of July!
The Furious Six:
Team Leader/Grunt: Captain Odin
Demolisher: Sergeant Igor
Long Ranger: Private Sam "Shats"
Thermophile: Private First Class Scratch
Engineer: Private Rodent
Assulter: Corporal Conker
Also Note: Igor and Conker are promoted to the next chapter, so spoilers.