He looked into Hermione's amber eyes begging for understanding. "I. I was going to tell you when I was more recovered, but I can't have this thing looming between us and you deserve to know."

"Know what!?"

"Merciful gods Hermione. You know I love you, right? You know I can't breathe unless you are near me."

"Yes Draco. As I love you."

"No, I shall lose you." He kissed her fervently with tears in his eyes. "Because in ten seconds you're going to hate me like no one else."

Draco looked at his mother, who nodded slightly. Hermione was nervously holding his hand, rubbing his knuckles with her thumb. He took a deep breath. "I am responsible for the snatcher's capturing you in the Forest of Dean. I'm the reason Harry and Ron are dead."

Hermione stood and backed away from him. "What are you saying? It's not true. You couldn't do that" She had backed into the far wall, her shock wanting to both run away and attack him.

"Hermione please listen to me. It was just after my… torture and then mother... I was desperately afraid we'd all be killed. When Ron left you and Harry he was hanging out in a pub with some people I know. They wanted me to identify him so they could claim the reward. When I got there I told them it wasn't him, but I followed him. He led me right to your camp. I told Severus that I knew where you were, and we hastily hatched a plan to capture you. Not to turn you in, but to try and learn what Dumbledor wanted you to do. We both hated Riddle and wanted to help. It was taking you so long and you obviously needed help completing the task. The snatchers were supposed to bring you to Hogwarts where we could work on killing Riddle together. We would keep you all safe and comfortable and in return you would speak for us and my family when it was over. But Snape botched it and the fool snatchers he hired killed Harry and tried to turn you in for the reward." He squeezed his eyes closed not wanting to see the expression on her face. "You know the rest."

Hermione was horrified. "You are responsible for the death of men I consider my brothers and very nearly my own. Then you held me captive until you could seduce me into believing in you and doing what you wanted. You never really cared for me did you? You were just using me the whole time as insurance!"

Draco began begging. "Hermione please! It wasn't like that. I never wanted them to die. I never wanted to hurt you. It all just came apart so quickly. You know I love you more than anything in this world. I wanted to keep you safe. Please believe me." He tried weakly to stand and go to her, but his mother held him in place.

Narcissa understood the pain of betrayal all too well. "Go Hermione. Find a quiet place and make your peace with this, if you can. I know it will be difficult. Take your time. Draco and I will be here when you return."

Hermione ran out the door with tears in her eyes, and never looked back.

"HERMIONE!" The sound of the front door slamming was like a death knell. Draco felt like he'd been under a crucio for a hundred years. Every fiber of his being was in agony wanting to go after her.

Narcissa took Draco in her arms to comfort him. "Have courage my son. Give her time. From what you've told me of her, she loves you and knows the truth in her heart. It's for the best. You can't have this follow you like a ghost the rest of your life. Trust me."

oopOqoo

Hermione ran out into the night. Something made her stop when she reached the rose garden. The sweet scent reminded her of her mother who loved roses. She would have given anything to curl up next to her mum and be soothed by her touch. Instead, she sat on a cold stone bench beneath a climbing arbor, tears falling freely.

The pain was almost blinding. He had been the cause of the most horrible thing to ever happen to her. He was going to use her to get what he wanted. How could she love him after that? She couldn't. She simply couldn't. The stars wheeled overhead as she tried to make sense of her life.

Hermione was never one to react strictly on emotion. Her mind was much too logical and needed to solve the puzzles that troubled her. It was the source of her list making. As time passed the emotions began to take a back seat and she could look at it sensibly.

One. Draco had betrayed them to the snatchers who had ultimately killed Harry. Harry, who had been left hanging by Dumbledor and doomed to die as a decoy to save Neville. Nothing would have changed that. At least with the snatcher it was quick. Voldemort would have tortured them all to death. She still had the rope burns on her wrists where Riddle had tied her to the stake. How much worse would it have been to watch them die by that hideous bastard's hand?

Two. The snatchers put them in the perfect position to kill the snake. They had discussed ways of trying to get close to it. A problem, because it never left Riddles side. No one wanted to admit aloud that it was a one person job and it would be suicide. Yet it had to be done. Harry couldn't do it, the chosen one had to be around to kill Voldemort. Ron would never have let Hermione even try. It had to be Ron. She remembered wondering as they stood before Riddle, just how He would kill them. Terrified. Devastated that they had failed. He'd said it would entertain the crowd of death eaters. After the gruesome entertainment she had just watched, after what he had done to Narcissa… she knew what that meant. Instead, Ron had died quickly, painlessly, a hero, and he had given her the opportunity to escape Voldemort's clutches.

Three. Draco had fought Bella for the lives of her friends, nearly dying because of it. The feelings she had when she saw him in the hospital bed still made her stomach clench with the fear of losing him. She loved him. And even if it was still a relatively new feeling, she could not deny it.

Four. In little more than a week she had fallen for Draco. Was she only fooling herself because he was the first man to tell her he loved her? Was she just being naive to think he cared at all? He was nothing like he was in school. He had rejected Voldemort and all he stood for. He had kept her hidden. Draco had protected her from death by fire, despite the possible cost of their lives. He had saved her from her self-destruction after she had lost the boys. He was a sweet and gentle lover who gave her more pleasure than she ever dreamed. He would do anything for her. Even kill a childhood friend because of her. Yes, he loved her, she had no doubt.

Hermione was exhausted, but there was something she needed to do. She spun in a circle and headed for Hogwarts. She would talk to McGonagall to see if she could get confirmation on a few things. She had to be sure she wasn't being manipulated yet again.

oopOqoo

Hermione stood before the castle gates and looked at the crumbling ruin. It would take many months to repair the damage. She touched Narcissa's wand to the gate and to her surprise it opened. The long walk was difficult. There were burned patches and rubble everywhere. A horrible reminder of screaming and death. In the courtyard the pyre had been dismantled, but she would never forget the exact stones on which it had stood. Nor the place where Neville lay waiting for his chance.