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Chapter 4!
« I screwed up... » was the first things Callie said as Mark entered the on-call room where she had been waiting for him for hours, prostrate in the angle facing the door. Her whole body was like frozen and she was so pale it immediately worried her friend who locked the room behind him so nobody would interrupt them.
« So it makes two of us... » Mark confessed.
« What ? » Callie asked, knitting her brows.
« Nothing... Just... Nothing... » Mark lied. Now was not the time to talk about what he told Arizona. He was sorry to have blurte it without warning, but in a way he felt relieved because it was what the thought deep down. « What did you do Torres ? »
Callie straigthened her position her back and her head totaly lined against the wall. Mark was probably the only one who would understand.
« I'm in trouble Mark... Like in big trouble... » Callie repeated, a nervous fake smile appearing on her lips.
« What happen ? You lost a patient ? » He asked her, trying to find the reason his friend was panicking in front tof him.
« No, it's not that... Oh gosh... Why did I do that... » Callie continued, her hands covering her mouth.
« You killed someone ? »
« What ? No ! Are you crazy ? » Callie yelled. Mark was always teasing her, and it was not what she was expecting from him now.
« Hey, you text me in the middle of the night, you're acting weird... Tell me... »
« I'm so stupid... » Callie said. « I shouldn't have ask you to come. »
Shaking her head, Callie was totaly lost and decided she couldn't talk about it. She took a deep breathe and was about to left the room when Mark grabbed her shoulder and made her stop.
« Callie, what's wrong ? Tell me ! »
« I lied... » Callie mumbled, her body was now shaking in fear. Mark knew she was restraining her sobb but she was not really good at it.
Arizona was the one who was able to hide her pain behind a convincing fake perky attitude, but Callie couldn't do it. She was an open book and Mark knew her too well.
« About what? » the plastic surgeon inquired.
« It's a long story... I'm so pathetic... I was affraid if I told her no, she would left me... » Callie ranted, turning to Mark but her gaze was lost in space. « I couldn't... It was impossible. But she insisted so much. And she was so excited... »
« Callie, I don't understand what you are talking about... » Mark explained, grabbing her by the shoulder and shaking her to make sure she was with him.
« I... Penny... » She mumbled, swallowing hard. « She wants a kid, with me... she... I told her I wasn't really comfortable with the idea, having already 2 kids... you know... »
Mark took Callie's hand and lead her to the bed. They sat on it and so the story was about to be told.
« She was always on my back, saying I didn't love her because otherwise I'd be thrilled with the idea of expanding our family with a kid who would be ours, you know ? » Callie stared at her friend looking for understanding. « And she was so eager and so... »
« Persistent, almost forcing you I'm sure. She's so... » Mark cutt her off.
« Mark ! » Callie snapped.
« Sorry... Keep going. »
« It was all she kept talking about, day and nigth. So... I... Gosh. I'm so pathetic... »
« What is it Callie ? »
« I told her « yes » even if I wasn't totaly in. » Callie confessed, guilt making her almost disgust by herself. « And she was so happy... »
« Callie, go to the point because Blake's mood is not something I want to hear about... » Mark rushed his friend.
« I lied to her. She thinks I went to an appointment to... » Callie paused for a minute. « I can't be pregnant because I cancelled my appointment the day of the insemination. »
« Oh... » Mark simply replied, relieved by the confession.
« That's all you have to say ? I'm telling you I lied to my fiancé who think I'm pregnant and you're just... »
« Callie, I don't like her. I never have and never will. So when you're telling me you're not pregnant of a child you were going to raise with her, yes, I'm glad. » Mark admitted.
« I'm a horrible person ! And so are you ! » Callie gave Mark a dark glare.
« There's a really good reason it happen. » Mark replied. « And you're right, you're pathetic. »
« Thanks a lot for your support Mark. » Callie whined.
« Torres, look at you. You're not happy with that woman. She's patronizing you, belittling you. You're an amazing woman, a rockstar surgeon. She's a fellow ! But here you are, bending for her where you weren't giving your wife and mother of your children any slack! »
« Shut up Sloan ! You don't know what you're talking about. » Callie retorted. « Leave Arizona out of that ! »
« I do know what I'm talking about. I'm the best person to know what I'm talking about ! » Mark replied. « Look at you ! You're not even able to tell your girlfriend you don't want another kid and you're lying to her like a happen to you ? »
« That's what I'm trying to tell you ! I'm a jerk ! » Callie replied. « I was so relieved that day when she was paged for an emergency... »
« And what would have happened if she hadn't been paged ? » Mark immediately put the reality in front of Callie.
« I... I... I don't know... » Callie stuttered just before bursting in sob.
« That's the problem. You know I love you Callie. I just don't know what you want from me. » Mark said in a soft voice. « I don't know what you are trying to prove by being with Blake,but you have to ask yourself the good questions. »
« I don't have a clue about what you're talking about... » Callie replied, trying to wipe the tear rolling down her cheeks. « I want her to be happy. I want to give her what she wants, but this... it's the thing I can't... Not after … You know ? »
« I know. And I also know that having a child has to be a mutual decision in a couple. Wheter you tell her you don't want that, or you keep on lying until she find out you've been fooling her. »
« I can't... She will left me ! » Callie yelled.
« So what ? » Mark said. « It wouldn't be the end of the world. You deserves so much better than her ! »
« Stop that Mark, I know you don't like her. But she's my fiancé and I just need some times I guess. » Callie lied to herself. « I will work on it. I just have to stop whining and rehashing the past. I'm sure I will figure it out. I have to. »
« Callie, you're saying it yourself, you're not ready to have another child ! Don't push yourself ! »
« I have to ! » Callie yelled again.
It was a wasted effort. Mark knew that Callie wouldn't admit to herself the truth unless he brought the real reason on the table. It was low and his friend will surely resented him, but it had not other choice.
« Does she knows ? » he asked quietly.
« What ? » Callie snorted
« Blake. Did you tell her about Terry ? » Mark precised.
And there it was, the forbidden name, the biggest taboo of all.
« Don't ! » Callie pointed a finger at her friend.
« Callie... »
« Don't ! »
She stood up from the bed and raised her hand in front of mark to prevent him from approaching her. That conversation was over for was over for now.