Naruto Uzumaki and the Legendary Sannin Chapter 2: Anko's Helping Hand, a Harry Potter + Naruto Crossover fanfic

"Blah": Talking

'Blah': Demon speaking/Inner Sakura

'Blah': Naruto's thoughts/other people's thoughts

'Blah': Harry talking to Naruto

Hello friends and readers! We're back with another new chapter! And I hope you guys had a wonderful Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanza, or whatever wonderful holiday you celebrate!

But before we start, I want to take a moment to address a little situation I have with this story. You see, when I reach the Sasuke Retrieval Arc, I really don't know what to do with Choji, Neji, Shikamaru, Kiba, Lee, Gaara, Temari, and Kankuro's individual battles. I tried to see what I could do with them, and it's difficult for me to make those fights any better than they were in the original manga and their anime adaptations. In the end, their fights don't affect the outcome, no matter how many times I change them, unless I were to kill off one of the main supporting characters. Not to mention that if I let the fights remain the same it would take at least 10 full chapters to cover those stories.

So I have to ask: should I have the story primarily follow Naruto and graze the beginning of those other battles and then leave them alone?

I could have Naruto hear the sound of earth crumbling from Choji's fight with Jirōbō, monstrous noises from Kiba's battle with Sakon and Ukon, an ear-splitting sound of a flute after he escapes Tayuya, and the sound of something slicing through the air for Neji and Kidomaru's fight?

To be honest, I don't want to spend months writing what are already brilliant battles to begin with and delay . All of their fights were already good, and I don't see how I can make them any different. I think I just want to focus on Naruto when we get to that point.

Azeroth44: Let's see what the reviewers think, then.

Kvsyaoran: Very well. And on another note that's actually related to this current chapter: there will be a bit of mild Kakashi bashing here. I said it before that I don't like bashing Kakashi, but it's in here to build up the events of what's to come. Kakashi will have his redemption in this book.

With that said and done, we can start this new chapter and I hope you guys enjoy it!

Reviews are welcome and wanted!

Disclaimer: Naruto is the property of Masashi Kishimoto

Harry Potter is property of JK Rowling

Chapter 2: Anko's Helping Hand

Sunday morning, the clouds were scattered all across the skies as the sun was blocked from view and the dark clouds released a small drizzle. No one needed an umbrella or a raincoat; in fact, the drizzle would have felt nice if it weren't for the cold autumn air. While the weather was not the best, Naruto was still outside as he walked down a wide set of stone stairs that led him down into a massive flat field lined with hundreds of identical tombstones. Elsewhere there were four identical war memorials that stood at each of the four corners of the massive field, and an outsized statue of a massive red flame at the middle end of the field that represented the Will of Fire. The blonde rookie looked around to check if there were other citizens around and discovered he was alone. He then walked down several rows of tombstones before he found the one he had come to see. Naruto halt when he found a stone that stuck out to him like a sore thumb.

Naruto walked over to it and aimed his wand at the dirtied tombstone. He then muttered an incantation and waved his wand over it like a brush. The blonde-haired wizard was amazed that he hadn't been to see this stone since the summer, and that it had collected so much dirt in all that time, so much that he had to use magic to clean it. Naruto waved his wand over the stone a few more times until it looked as if it were carved out of the purest marble. Once he was finished, he stood back and waved his wand over the stone one more time to conjure a wonderful collection of lilies, roses, and purple tulips mixed with yellow daisies. He let them hover over the stone before he flicked his wand to lower them into the slots on either side of the stone that read a name and several short miniscule words etched beneath it:

KUSHINA UZUMAKI

うずまきクシナ

Beautiful daughter, beloved friend, faithful wife, and loving mother

He knelt down to the stone and sat down while he tried to start a conversation with his mother. Naruto felt as if she and her husband were out there somewhere, watching over him and listening to whatever he wanted to tell them. But before he started to talk, he reached into his trusted rucksack and revealed a snapshot from his scarlet leather album back at home. He stared at the picture and let a warm smile stretch across his face.

It was an enchanted photograph of his mother at a time when she wore an autumn outfit and danced in front of a water fountain with the man Naruto believed to be his father. He had created the image of this man in the picture several weeks after he had heard his mother and father's voices. Naruto had created a tall, broad-shouldered man around the same age as the red-haired woman. He wore his smooth shoulder-length blond hair in a similar disordered mess as his son, but he wore glasses over his cerulean-blue eyes. The man also wore a white dress-shirt and tie under a black vest with matching slacks and a brown overcoat for the chilly autumn weather. The two lovers in the photograph held hands and started to dance, with orange and scarlet leaves dancing in the wind with them as the couple swirled around the fountain and kissed each other once or twice, clearly in love.

The blonde-haired child soon tucked the snapshot back into his enchanted rucksack before he cleared his throat and started to talk to his mother.

"Hello, mum..." he started out slow, "You can hear me too, dad, I know it… You're voices were so wonderful when I heard them. But I sure do wish we had more time to talk or even see each other… But I think I'll be fine for now. You two are out there somewhere, watching over me… You two don't know how much it meant to me to know that you're actually proud of me for being what I am… Heh! But then again, since you already knew so much about me the last time we talked, I guess you knew that too."

Naruto hesitated as he felt his older brother create the sensation that he had sat down beside him and rubbed his shoulder in an affectionate manner. The blonde-haired kid then went on about all of the creations he had made in secret in the time after the invasion of Konoha. He went on about all the kinds of magic he liked to use and what potions he was best at creating without the use of a list of instructions. Naruto went on and on about how he felt about his teammates and what life was like under the roof of Iruka Umino. The blonde genin told his mom and dad about how he came under his care and how cheerful life had been to live with someone that loved and protected him. He also told them how Anko and Iruka decided to date each other again and how contented his older brother had been ever since. In fact, the woman's influence over the tan-skinned man had improved him with his status as a shinobi, now that the two of them trained together on some of their dates.

He then moved on about how much he hated his teammate Sasuke whenever he had stolen his thunder and had taken his limelight ever since he learned how to use the lightning-technique Chidori. This rant forced him to ask his mother how she and Mikoto Uchiha could have ever been friends. But all he heard in return was a soft whistle in his ears when the wind breezed across the field. Naruto nodded and assumed his mother would have told him that even someone from the Uchiha clan could be a reasonable friend, as her friendship with Mikoto was made obvious with the various other snapshots of those two women in the scarlet album. He went on to confess that he still valued Sasuke as a friend, whenever he wasn't rude to him or acted like a self-righteous brat.

The blonde-haired rookie soon went on to talk about how much he loved Sakura Haruno. But after about five extensive minutes about that, there was a sudden wind that caused a soda can to fall out of the trash bin at the entrance. The wind caused the can to roll and bounce across the memorial field until it hit Naruto hard in the head, which forced him to cease his rambling about how beautiful he believed his female teammate was.

The knock to the head caused him to switch subjects immediately as the wind calmed down. Naruto went on about how frustrated he had been with his sensei and rival teammate. He told his mom about how Kakashi had started to treat Sasuke like he was his favorite student and how much it bothered him. His frustrations towards his sensei and his rival were further intensified when Sasuke started to show off his enhanced abilities a lot more often and claimed it to be the result of his training. Naruto felt weak whenever his rival showed off and reminded him that it was thanks to Kakashi and the Sharingan that he was stronger and faster than ever. The blonde-haired rookie tried his best and worked hard ever since to become better than his rival, but it looked like Sasuke was a mile ahead of him at every turn. Naruto told Kushina that he believed Kakashi trained Sasuke in secret ever since after the Chunin Exams were over, because his sensei had blown him off several times and had not trained all three of his students at once ever since their mission to the Land of Waves.

But he didn't want to leave on a bad note with his mom and dad, so Naruto talked about happier matters on his mind, such as the cloak he intended to make. But soon, he started to feel cold and decided that he had to return to Iruka and have lunch with him. He then stared back at the stone and concluded his conversation.

"I know you two probably aren't happy with how my childhood turned out, but don't be sad in the afterlife… I can't imagine how this life would have turned out had the demon not attacked us… Granted I'm sure you two would have given me the greatest home a weirdo like me could have ever wanted… Things have been tough for me these past twelve years, but I can honestly say that I'm grateful with what has been given to me so far and what I've worked so hard to achieve."

Naruto hesitated for a while as he was reminded of his recent loss.

"Oh, mum... if you and dad meet a man named Hayate Gekko wherever you are… Please let him know that I miss him."

When he was finished, the blonde wizard laid down several homemade Cauldron Cakes, as he was made aware that his mother loved sweets and chocolate. He then stood above her tombstone, hulled his beaded rucksack over his shoulders, and meditated to his mother and father in the hope that it would make them both happier in the afterlife. He closed his eyes and held his hands, as he remained oblivious to the world around him. Naruto almost couldn't feel the cool breeze that brushed against his skin, or hear the sounds of barking hounds somewhere out in the distance. He even failed to sense that someone from across the field was watching him.

At the entrance of the memorial field, there stood a man that wore an ANBU mask and uniform. The unidentified soldier leaned on the base of one of the columns that established the arch. He stared at Naruto when he heard that last bit about the deceased Tokubetsu. The ANBU let out a soft, subtle cough as he cleared his throat and vanished. When the rookie was done with his prayers to his loved ones, he offered his mother's stone one last look before he turned back to the entrance and walked back home. The ANBU from earlier had disappeared before he had the chance to see him.

Naruto moaned and buried his head back into bed as he awoke the next morning in his new bedroom.

In an act of random kindness, Iruka and Anko had worked together to decorate and finish the guest bedroom at last. Naruto's new bedroom was a reasonable size, a little smaller than Iruka's but it was still comfortable, spacious, and warm. Iruka and Anko decorated the walls with unique wallpaper that resembled stone, but a few red curtains were added to make the room look and feel warm as winter approached fast. Naruto's bed was a medium size, softer, warmer, and far more comfortable than the old mattress where he used to live as he sank back into the scarlet and beige sheets. The blonde rookie moaned before he crawled out of bed and stretched. He looked around at his bedside table where he left his wand, a few kunai, shuriken, a glass of water, and the Standard Book of Spells, Grade 5. Across from his bed, the blonde wizard saw some of his other books and scrolls stacked on his new desk, with his lamp, the trunk beside his bed, emptied as he filled his dresser and closet with his best clothes and spare weapons.

After the blonde rookie stretched his toes and clicked his neck, he walked back to his older brother's room. He opened the door and saw Iruka as he snored and drooled. The chunin dreamt in bliss since he was on another date with Anko the previous night and didn't come back until it was late. The blonde child looked to the alarm clock and flicked his wand at it when it started to scream. He then etched over to his older brother and started to shake him awake. Iruka almost bolted out from bed and snorted several times before he was awake at last and sat at the end of his bed with his face still dazed and tired. He still smiled and took a breath of fresh air as he stretched out.

"Hmmm... Good mornin', bud..." he mused with a smile and ruffled his little brother's hair.

"We don't wanna be late," the blonde rookie said.

Iruka nodded and Naruto left started to make breakfast. The tan chunin scratched his stomach as he walked to the shower to wash the stench from the date with Anko. While Naruto started to dish out the eggs, butter, and bread, he leaned over to the schedule he and Iruka made that balanced their time between school, teams, and time to aid the other citizens to rebuild Konoha back to it's former brilliance.

In the time since the invasion, the streets were flooded with used weapons, debris, and in some cases blood stained on the walls and windows. Iruka dedicated a lot of his time to restore the Academy ever since it was bombarded in several locations, such as the main entrance hall and several classrooms were obliterated. Naruto assisted at the school whenever he could, to use his magic in secret and restored several windows and even two entire classrooms.

Iruka was left in charge with overseeing the Academy's reconstruction now that the school was without a head instructor. With the disappearance of the incompetent Daikoku and due to his leadership evacuating the children, it was decided that Iruka was now the new head instructor. With Iruka behind the desk of the main office, he filed out all of the forms and made it so that the windows and classrooms that Naruto fixed were not in the official damage reports. He did this so no one would notice several windows were magically restored on the record. His little brother worked hard on the repairs and even started enchanting the building so that it could withstand much more destructive forces than the ones that attacked it from the recent invasion.

But this time, Naruto would have to return to his team and leave Iruka at the restoration of the school with the remaining staff members that were available to assist him. He started breakfast with some eggs, toast, thick slices of bacon, and some orange juice with all the pulp removed with magic. While he cooked their breakfast, he listened to Iruka use his share of the hot water for the shower and switched on the radio with his wand. When Naruto was done, he sat at the kitchen table and consumed his own food rather quickly and had Iruka's plate at the seat next to his. When the chunin arrived, dressed and set to take on the day, he thanked Naruto for the food when he ruffled his hair and kissed his head before the kid smiled and took off to take his shower and a tinkle.

Iruka waited until Naruto was dressed to leave, in one of his old vibrant tracksuits, since his new outfit from the Chunin Exams was incinerated in the invasion. Naruto appreciated that his older brother risked tardiness to wish him luck on his missions and ruffled his hair one more time before he had to rush out back to school. He watched his guardian bolt out through the front door and collected his book bag before he looked back one more time.

"Have a good time on missions, Naruto!" he said as he left.

The blonde-haired kid smiled as the front door closed and he said, "Have fun at work, Headmaster."

Seventeen minutes later, Naruto arrived at the reservoir and saw Sasuke lean back on the rail over the water. He still wore that ridiculous black Uchiha chunin outfit, even though the exams were cancelled and none of the rookies made it to the chunin rank. Naruto overlooked that detail when Sakura came out from around the stoic Uchiha and went on to adore him. When Naruto arrived, both of his teammates turned their heads and Sakura actually smiled at her blonde-haired teammate for once, she even waved and beckoned at Naruto. Ever since the Chunin Exams, Sakura treated Naruto as if he were one of her closest friends and became a lot more sociable with him, even after their missions. One of the reasons she was so nice to him now, was due to the fact that Sasuke had told her the truth about what happened when she was unconscious during the invasion and the fight with the jinchuuriki from Sunagakure.

"Naruto," she called over to him, "Over here!"

The blonde rookie waved his hand to her and smiled, "Sakura-chan! Still having a good morning with all this rubbish piled everywhere?"

"Rubbish?" the red-dressed kunoichi still wasn't familiar with her teammate's unusual words but she was fast this time and understood what he meant, "Yeah, there's still a lot of debris around where I live, but nothing to be too hot and bothered about."

Before Naruto and Sakura could continue, Kakashi decided to arrive several hours earlier than usual. Both the blonde-haired wizard and his older brother heard the swift sound of the instructor's arrival when he landed on the arch above his students. The masked teacher acted as if the Chunin Exams never even happened as he waved down to his students, and Naruto wasn't happy about that.

"Hi there," he waved, "Good morning we're having, huh?"

Naruto frowned as Kakashi arrived and caused Sakura to forget about her earlier conversation as she scold their teacher for his sudden arrival. He then moaned when Kakashi told the three of them that the team had another D-Rank mission to do, but had to walk to see Sarutobi in his office to receive the information on their client. Sakura didn't seem to mind while Sasuke frowned and looked out to the forest and flexed his hands, like he was focused on another matter on his mind. Naruto, on the other hand, seemed cross with his teacher. Kakashi had not trained all three of them together since the Land of Waves, never received lessons, lectured them, or ever addressed his exact reasons behind his decision to leave with Sasuke. But even so, he still followed his teacher with his teammates.

Kakashi then announced, "Now then, we have a mission to do! Let's move!"

The team arrived at the Administration Building and made it to the Hokage's office in no time at all. After the five of them climbed the staircases to the highest floor, the team turned down a corridor that curved and entered the central offices located outside the main office where Sarutobi worked to the bone. Kakashi led his students to the front desk outside the double doors of the Hokage's office to meet the kind receptionist the old man had hired to assist him.

"We're here to see the Hokage for a mission," the masked shinobi stated.

The brown-haired woman smiled and said, "Very well. You four came at the best time! It's not for another five minutes before the next rush of shinobi comes in. At that time, all the shinobi in Konoha are stuck in here for work. You four can go right in now."

Kakashi bowed his head to the woman and led his students through the double doors. When the team entered, the four of them discovered that Sarutobi's office was now flooded with stacks of forms and various paperwork. The Sandaime was somewhere behind a maze of white mountainous stacks, but the team was able to see his iconic red and white hat. Naruto noticed damage reports and insurance forms amidst hundreds of other sheets and stacks, several of them included mission requests from civilians and outside-village clients. He also saw this one form that turned out to be a list of the rookies that had succeeded in the Chunin Exams and made the cut. But before Naruto could kneel down and read the document, Kakashi called out to their old leader for his attention.

"Team 7 has arrived for their mission, sir," he said to the hidden old man.

Naruto tried to look over the documents in the room when he heard a loud, wheezing cough from behind the desk in the office. Sarutobi set aside one stack of forms so that he could see the team and Naruto almost screamed when he saw his face:

The old man looked like he hadn't slept in over a month; his face was even more wrinkled than the last time he saw him and his skin had turned a sordid shade of yellow. It looked like his health had deteriorated in the time since he last saw him at the memorial service. He seemed ill at the time, but his condition had worsened since then. The older wizard inside the mindscape almost covered his mouth with his hand when it looked like the old man had grown older and weaker. Naruto picked up a horrible smell radiate from the old man, as it smelled like he hadn't bathed in weeks. The blonde rookie felt the need to cover his nose as the others simply ignored it.

The Sandaime wheezed and then removed one sheet on his desk, "Your mission… will be… for a local farmer, who requires the assistance… of shinobi to deliver water to one of his… water towers... Do you feel that you and your team are up to it, Kakashi?"

The old leader had to take time between his sentences to clear his throat, as if he had smoked over five thousand cigarettes in the last minute. This sudden alteration in his grandfather's appearance and health frightened the blonde-haired shinobi down to his core, but for whatever reason, his teammates and sensei didn't seem to notice or care. Naruto looked at Kakashi and waited for him to ask the old man what was the matter with him. But the masked teacher remained as oblivious as his two teammates.

"We'll take it, Hokage-sama. Thanks," the silver-haired shinobi answered.

Kakashi took the form from the old man's withered hands after he walked around all the stacks and forms scattered around the office. Once he had the information, he soon retreated back to his students and bid the old man farewell with a bow of his head. Naruto couldn't resist and looked back at his leader as he started to shrink back into his seat and wheeze. When the doors closed, the assistant from outside the office rushed inside with medicine and a glass of water.

The blonde-haired rookie looked up to his teacher and asked, "Sensei, what was the matter with the old man? He looked so ill…"

"Naruto, focus on the mission." he answered back in a rather cold voice.

The blonde rookie was a little bit shocked that he didn't take his concerns about their ruler into account and went on to focus on their irrelevant mission. His older brother frowned at the instructor and crossed his arms in disdain. Naruto soon sunk his head and continued to walk with his teammates, doing as his sensei had told him: focus on the mission.

About a half hour later, Kakashi and his team marched back to the water reservoir. Once the five of them arrived, the team rounded several silver barrels full of water and hauled them onto a horse-drawn cart. Once the rookies had them loaded into the carriage, the team had to lead the horses and the cart to their destination, located on a farm in the far eastern fields. The team led the animals through forest trail while their teacher sat down on the barrels and continued to read the latest volume of Icha-Icha Violence.

Naruto seldom looked at his teacher as he and the others tried their best to get the over-worked animals motivated to move a little faster. The blonde-haired shinobi watched his teacher as he read his lecherous book and became irritated at him more and more for his lack of contribution to the missions' success. After fifteen minutes, he called over to him to ask for a little assistance.

"You know," he suggested, "You could come down here and help us, sensei!"

Kakashi turned to the next page in his book and answered, "Nah. You three seem to have it covered."

Both Naruto and his invisible older brother shot identical frustrated looks at the masked instructor before the students went back to work. In about fifteen minutes, the road turned a corner before it smoothed out into the flatlands. Harry soon smirked and leaned in to suggest something to his little brother, that made the rookie giggle. Unable to resist a little mischief, he slid his wand from his sleeve. The blonde rookie made sure he was careful before he aimed his wand at the back of the horse on the left. Without warning, there was a subtle flash of orange light and the horse was frightened. The creature neighed and then bolted ahead of the second horse. The carriage shook and Kakashi was thrown off balance, falling between two barrels of water with a loud thud before the horses bolted down the road with him in tow.

"OOF," and then he shouted, "ARGHHHHHHH! OH MY GOD!"

Harry was surprised at the sudden turn of events. He hadn't planned for the horses to run off at all, but the unexpected chaos still made him roar with laughter, unable to hold it in. The rookie students scrambled after their teacher in concern when he reached the end of the road and came to a sudden halt. Naruto stopped smiling and ran after the carriage when his simple attempt to make the horses shake the carriage did far more than he intended.

Naruto shouted, "Kakashi-sensei!"

When the students reached the carriage and the horses, Kakashi had some trouble as he crawled out of the cart, completely unharmed. He was covered with dust and his hair was a total mess when the ride was over, causing the older wizard to fall off of his bed and hold his ribs as he laughed harder than he had in a long time. The silver-haired teacher fixed his hair, dusted his clothes, and un-wrinkled the crumbled pages of Icha-Icha Violence before he stuffed it back in his trousers.

"What the hell was that all about?!" the teacher asked as he looked back at the horses.

Sakura shook her head and said, "I don't know! The horses must have been spooked!"

"It must have been a wild animal," said Sasuke as he started looking around, "I sensed something and could have sworn that I saw a ferret run through here a second ago."

Naruto retorted back at his rival, "I didn't see a ferret, teme! You're such a liar!"

Kakashi did not utter a word as he looked over all his students to see which one of them held back laughter. He watched all three of his students, but then he turned to one student he was correct to suspect based on his first impression of him. He watched Naruto for one second, but the blonde-haired rookie didn't intend for his prank to work so well, as he looked as dumbfounded as his teammates were. Kakashi failed to see that his student was responsible for the incident with the horse and dismissed it all as an accident.

"It doesn't matter," he said as he shrugged the incident off, "Let's move on with the mission. We have a lot of work to do."

As Kakashi walked with the horses and assisted his students, Naruto walked with the other horse and rubbed its mane and fed it a small snack to comfort it. The blonde shinobi heard his invisible brother chuckle inside his subconscious.

"Such a wonderful horse, Bucktooth," he comforted the poor creature, "Here's a bit of cake for the trouble."

Within the next seven minutes, the team hauled the horse-drawn cart to their destination at the local farm; it was an isolated area within Konoha that manufactured a lot of local-sold food and materials in the markets downtown. Their mission was to deliver the water from the reservoir over to the farm; the farmers needed the water earlier than usual because their original water tower was blown out in the invasion. Team 7 had to fill the new tower with water, which required the team to return to the reservoir and re-fill at least three or four more times. It took Kakashi and his students at least two hours to finish their first mission and the client rewarded the instructor and his students for their efforts with cash and a free lunch. Kakashi divided the cash and Naruto received so much that he could afford an actual wallet soon. Once it was his birthday, he could look for one.

The team bid their client farewell and returned the horses to their lawful owners before their sensei decided to make an announcement at the divided road.

"Listen up, team," said Kakashi, "We're going to stop here and pick this up next week."

Naruto and Harry were both surprised at the teacher's unusual decision. It was one o'clock in the afternoon and there was a lot of time left to burn on more missions. But Kakashi insisted that the Sandaime's office would be too crowded to receive a decent mission before the offices would close down. The wizard observed the teacher from the mindscape didn't believe it for one minute. He could tell that the jounin was lying. But Sakura didn't seem to mind it, while Sasuke looked as if he wanted to be somewhere else. It was at this time that the wizard noticed the Uchiha give Kakashi the slightest of nods and looked over to see the masked shinobi nod back to him. The wizard narrowed his eyes at the gesture while his little brother remained somewhat oblivious as he listened to his teacher until he was dismissed.

Kakashi said with another one of his famous masked smiles, "Now, I have to turn in our mission documents. But let's meet back here next week for another mission. Go ahead, return home, and have a wonderful weekend!"

As the other two rookies walked home, Naruto remained where he stood, mulled over the horse fiasco. He wanted to apologize, even though he was still a bit angry with his sensei when he broke the promise he made back at the Land of Waves. It would have been nice if he got over his anger with a little bit of training with his sensei, maybe giving him the opportunity he needed to apologize then and fix their teamwork. Plus, it only seemed fair to him and Harry as Sasuke received special, exclusive training for an entire month. Naruto walked up to his teacher, and reached out to him with a kind and sincere voice.

"Kakashi-sensei?" he asked.

The jounin instructor turned around and looked from his book and sighed in exasperation.

"Listen, I wanted to ask-"

But Kakashi interrupted him and said, "Stop right there. I already know what you're going to ask. I can't train you today."

"Why?" the blonde-haired kid asked as his face showed subtle frustration, "Why can't you train me, sensei?"

His teacher answered in an uninterested voice, "I have other matters to handle. I don't have time to deal with you, Naruto."

"Let me take a wild guess," the small rookie started and then he stated in a voice that sounded an awful lot like Iruka whenever he talked down to a misbehaved student, "You're going to wait until I leave so that you can go and train with Sasuke instead. Aren't you, Kakashi-sensei?"

The masked shinobi blinked at what his student had said, but then he said in a more relaxed tone, "Now that's not the reason why and you know it. Besides, if you really need to train, then why don't you do the tree-climbing exercise and practice on your chakra control?"

"I've mastered that technique at the Land of Waves, sensei. You know that," the blonde child said back as he sounded a lot like his chunin-level older brother, "Can't you teach me something else just to be fair and level out the playing field between me and Sasuke? Like the Chidori? Can't you teach me a jutsu that's at least similar to it? Please?"

Kakashi sensed Iruka's influence within Naruto's tone, and in a moment, his demeanor switched from nonchalant to somewhat cold and rude as he talked down to his student as if he were the same chunin that broke his nose in the arena, "You're not mature enough to handle those kind of techniques. You should work on your chakra control instead, like the other Academy students. It's still some of the worst I've ever seen."

"What?" he blinked.

The masked sensei talked down to his student and almost believed he talked down to the troublesome chunin that humiliated him in front of his comrades, "Out of all of the members of our team, you're the one whose basic skills need the most work. Let's be realistic here for one moment. You wouldn't be able to master those kinds of techniques. If you really want to become strong, then I insist that you start over and focus on the fundamentals. If you want some more advice, then I suggest you stop being so defiant and learn to stay in line where you belong."

Naruto stood there as still as a statue as his chest felt twisted from inside at his teacher's words. He wanted to shout something back at him, but he was so taken aback at Kakashi's sudden switch in attitude that he couldn't think of what to shout back at him. His invisible older brother, on the other hand, stared at the teacher for what he said. Harry frowned at Kakashi as all the respect he once held for him vanished.

Kakashi then said as if he didn't have a care in the world, "You'll have to excuse me now, Naruto, I have a lot of work to file out. Have a nice weekend."

The masked man turned his back on his student and left him alone. While he walked down the street, he almost turned his head to look back at Naruto with a look of subtle reluctance as he reflected on his words and actions.

'I know that was harsh, but it had to be done, as instructed… Jiraiya will take over from here, like he said he would.'

The small blonde rookie frowned at his teacher when he turned his back on him. He resisted the intense desire to take out his wand and hex him while his back was turned. Kakashi broke his trust, hurt his feelings, and now made him lose his faith in him. But the blonde-haired wizard held his wand back and decided to investigate what his teacher valued more than time and attention to the students he swore he would teach and care for.

'I won't let this slide! I wanna know what that jerk thinks is more important than teamwork!'

'Count me in! I want to see what he does when he's not clocked in. Let's move it now! Allons-y!'

Harry assisted Naruto to hide his presence and made him invisible to his sensei as he followed him. With stealth on his side, the blonde-haired wizard traversed across Konoha, hidden behind trees, walls, construction sites, and fat civilians with wide backs as his sensei walked to the Sandaime's office. Naruto waited outside the Administration Building for five minutes before he left. It confirmed Kakashi had lied to him about all the work he claimed he needed done as he read his red book and headed towards one of the numerous training grounds.

The blonde-haired wizard, still invisible to his sensei, followed him into the woods until he entered a training area filled with boulders and trees. Naruto hid beneath a bush in the distance while he watched his teacher walk to the center of the field. The masked shinobi waited for several minutes before a dark outline came out from over the boulder Kakashi leaned on.

"You took a while, Kakashi, " said a familiar voice, "You were supposed to be here five minutes ago."

Sasuke landed close to his sensei with fresh, new armbands. While Naruto watched the Uchiha walk over to Kakashi, he felt his heart break as his suspicions were confirmed: Kakashi had trained with Sasuke ever since after the Chunin Exams were over and left his other students out of it. The masked shinobi had lied right to his face as Kakashi took a breath and turned towards Sasuke.

He answered his student with, "Gomenasai, Sasuke. Your little blonde friend held me back for a while after the mission. He asked me about me training him."

"And what did you tell him?" the teen asked.

Kakashi hesitated for a moment before he told the Uchiha heir in a confident voice, "Let's not think about that. You know how it is with Naruto, so I wouldn't be worried. We both know Naruto isn't the sharpest knife in the drawer."

"At least we won't be bothered with the dobe," the Uchiha muttered to himself.

The masked shinobi didn't waste more time and started their session with a taijutsu match.

Back under the bush behind the trees, the blonde wizard frowned with his mouth slightly open. He couldn't believe what he saw and heard from his teacher. At that moment, the blonde wizard didn't feel like apologizing as much as he did earlier, while another [more dominant] side of him wanted to come out of the bushes and confront his teacher and his teammate. He soon stood up, about to reach for his wand as he marched after the duo with no restraints.

"That bastard, lying, son of a-"

Before he could march out from the bushes and face them, Naruto felt a soft but firm hand on his shoulder hold him back. The blonde-haired kid looked over his shoulder in shock but calmed down soon after. It was Anko and she looked down at Naruto with a look he had never seen on her face. She looked sad, but also looked like she understood how he felt.

"A-Anko," he stammered and then he asked, "What are you doing here?"

She frowned before she looked on to see Kakashi with Sasuke from across the field, "Watching you getting lied to and double-crossed by your teacher, I guess."

"You've noticed," he answered, bitter as he felt.

The woman looked back down at Naruto and smiled a little bit when he reminded her of herself when she was a kid. She recognized the heartbroken look on his face, the same look she saw in the mirror after Orochimaru abandoned her. Anko reached down and rubbed a small tear that had fallen from his face and talked to him in an uncommon maternal voice.

"Lion cub, I understand what it's like to be on that end of the stick," she then smiled and held him in a warm embrace, "Trust me."

Anko looked back to see Kakashi lecture Sasuke about how he can increase the number of times he could use the Chidori and she had seen more than her fair share. She turned her back to the jounin and decided to take the blonde rookie back with her.

"Come on," she said, "Let's ditch these losers."

About an hour later, he and Anko were settled down at a table at the Amaguriama. With some of the store in dire need of construction, the employees set benches and tables outside. Anko made all of the orders as she let Naruto sit down on one of the benches. When she came back, Anko treated Naruto to some dango, while she treated herself to most of them. After the two of them had some of their fill, the two of them talked for a little bit.

Naruto learned more about Anko and a little bit about her older teacher, Orochimaru. She revealed that she had the exact same curse mark on her neck as Sasuke. She also informed Naruto of the fear that almost consumed her when it tried to take her over before it was sealed and how the citizens of Konoha treated her and shunned her. A lot of the Konoha citizens treated her as such because she was a student of one of the most notorious and traitorous men to ever be born in Konoha.

The blonde-haired teen soon said, "I had no idea… He did all that?"

"Yeah, all because of him," she answered, "Orochimaru used me as a test subject for the curse mark, turned his back on me, and cursed me with this forsaken curse… Because of this mark, the people around me came to hate and fear me because it was like a mark that connected me to him… I went from the talk of the town to as low as a common road whore… At least that's how the other citizens treated me, like I was some freak of nature."

Naruto looked at the mark as Anko lowered the collar of her coat for him to see. It looked identical to the one on Sasuke's neck and had the same seal around it to contain the curse. Naruto shivered when he saw it and felt bad for Anko.

"That mark," he hesitated and then asked, "Does it ever hurt?"

She rubbed it out of habit and told him, "Not all the time... But when it does, it feels like someone is drilling a hole into it… Orochimaru was able to activate it when I last confronted him in the Forest of Death. It felt as if the curse was about to take me over… It hurt so much and it almost consumed me, like the first time... It was unbearable... it wasn't until the Sandaime saved me and fixed it did it start to feel better… With a little luck, I'll be able to remove this damn curse in about twelve hundred years from now… Thanks, Orochimaru-sensei…"

"What a freak," answered the blonde-haired wizard.

Anko nodded after she downed some sake and took another bite of one of her favorite-flavored dumplings. The blonde rookie looked at his collection of sweets on the table and looked over at Anko's collection, intent to steal one or two of them if she didn't notice. But then his mind turned back to his own situation. He started to feel like he shouldn't complain about his sensei after he soaked in Anko's relationship with Orochimaru.

"After all that, it looks like I don't have much of a right to complain about Kakashi-sensei," he said.

Anko almost choked on her next bite and started a furious rant, "ARE YOU KIDDING ME, LION CUB?! You have all the right in the world to be pissed at Kakashi! He ditched you in favor of your rival and taught him one of the most intense assassination techniques in existence! He seriously endangered your chances in the finals in favor of some kid who really didn't need the special treatment he kept getting! Kakashi should have kicked the Uchiha out of the exams, like I said he should have! If not, he could have trained both of you at the same time! He can create shadow clones too! He had no reason not to! You're not from a famous clan and don't have an ace in the hole at the same level as the frickin' Chidori and Sharingan! And he's still going around and treating Sasuke Uchiha like he's the messiah! If I had to deal with a sensei like him, I would have maimed the bastard by now…"

While Anko continued to rant, Naruto frowned. He took in her words and started to feel embarrassed, frustrated, and a little heartbroken. He had a short flashback to when he saw Kakashi arrived with Sasuke in the arena, back to back, and felt even worse when he flashed back to his rival when he used the Chidori for the first time and what Kakashi had said, as the audience sat in awe when he struck Gaara's sand dome: that he chose to take on Sasuke because of how similar the Uchiha was to him.

Back in the real world, Naruto felt his cheeks blush as he lowered his head and hid his face with his hair while he untied his headband.

"I feel like an idiot," he said after he was reminded of his teacher's most recent actions and hurtful words, "He promised me he wouldn't turn his back on me and he went ahead and did it. Twice."

Anko had calmed down from her rant and said as she rubbed Naruto's back, "I trusted Orochimaru because he chose me as his student out of all the other kunoichi in the entire village. Back when he was still a respectable man, it was considered an honor to have one of the Sannin as a teacher. I thought I could trust him and he ended up using me like another rat in his lab."

"I don't know what to do now," he said as he seemed to calm down, but his jealous resentment didn't simmer, "What can I do?"

Anko answered him with implications, "Well... if that old bastard Orochimaru were still around and if I were still a kid, I would have done whatever it took to drive him insane... At least teach him a lesson that wouldn't result in his immediate death."

Naruto remained silent as he fiddled with his cleaned sticks and drummed them on the table. It was until he ceased his drum solo did a humorous little idea come to mind. The blonde-haired shinobi froze in his seat before he started to crack a mischievous smile.

"I have an idea," he said in a mischievous tone.

Anko looked at him and noticed the mischievous look and soon it was like she could read his mind, "Yeah?"

"You remember what I was like before Iruka-aniki sorted me out?" he asked and then said with an enthusiastic voice, "Let's teach Kakashi-sensei a lesson he'll remember for the rest of his life! How about it? You want in?!"

The kunoichi stared at him and then she smiled. Anko then stood tall before she threw her fist in the air with a fierce fire in her voice. While Anko busied herself with swirling thoughts of glorious mischief, Naruto took the chance to consume the last two sticks on Anko's share of sweets.

"Yes," she shouted, "What better thrill can come from the adrenaline rush of a classic prank?! LET'S GO, NARUTO!"

She turned around in time to see the blonde-haired kid eat the last of her food; the sweets stuffed in his mouth and his face frozen with the look of horrific shock on his face. Anko became furious and rolled her sleeves back before she cracked her knuckles.

"YOU LITTLE BRAT!" she screamed and then moved in to claw him, "THAT'S MY DANGO!"

Naruto ducked from her claws and ran as fast as he could while he chuckled and ducked under an attack of used wooden stick, like senbon needles, "FINDERS KEEPERS, NEE-CHAN!"

After the incident with the sweets, Anko was able catch Naruto and he received a noogie of epic proportions. With that behind them, the two of them set out for Kakashi's house. When the duo reached the door to the apartment, Anko tried to unlock the door with a senbon she had hidden in her cleavage. Once she unlocked the door, Anko and Naruto walked inside and searched the rooms in case Kakashi was there. Naruto went ahead of Anko and took out his wand in secret. Once the two of them checked to see that Kakashi was still out with Sasuke, the blonde-haired rookie hid his wand and reunited with Anko to discuss their plans.

"What should we do?" she asked, "I remember that incident with Daikoku Funeno! You filled his old office with mud, right? What if we took the water in Kakashi's toilet and leave a treat for him at the front door? No, that's not evil enough. How about we set snares for him and see how many he can avoid until he's hit? Wait, no, we need to do something more fitting…"

While Anko rambled on about each wonderful and horrid action, Naruto channeled her out and focused on what his older brother had in mind. The much older wizard smirked and instructed Naruto the ultimate revenge that wasn't too cruel or too childish. And as a bonus, it was so elaborate that Kakashi would not be able to determine who did it. Naruto's face stretched with a sinister smile that would have caused the demon fox to shiver.

"No," he said to Anko with that devilish smile, "I have a much better idea, Anko-nee. I don't want to hurt him. Just see him go nuts for a little bit."

The blonde-haired rookie led the woman into Kakashi's bedroom and searched the walls for what he wanted. He showed her the bookshelves embedded into the wall above Kakashi's bed and smiled back at Anko. On the shelves were the almost endless spines of every single volume or novella centered inside of the Make-Out Paradise universe. He searched towards the beginning and the end of his teacher's collection and removed the oldest and newest editions of the series; the ones he assumed were the most replaceable as well as the most valuable. He checked for other copies hidden under the bed, the furniture in the other rooms, and searched every crevice where a book could be hidden.

He asked her once his search was done, "What would an obsessed collector of such fine literature do if one or two of his favorite books were to vanish out of thin?"

"Naruto, he would find newer ones," she answered as she crossed her arms.

But then he asked her in an excited and eccentric attitude, "Yes, but how would he react if there were none of them left in Konoha buy? Since no one can leave the village without a serious mission that's available once every few months for shinobi with students under their belts, how would he (a teacher of three students) be able to find the time to recover another book if none in Konoha are left? A few hours? Weeks? Or how about a few months without his two favorites?"

"Ooooh," she smiled when she came to realize, "You are so evil… I love it!"

With that said, Naruto tucked the books into his beaded rucksack.

About one hour later, Anko and Naruto ventured to all of the bookstores in town and purchased all the copies of Kakashi Hatake's two favorite volumes of the Make-Out Paradise series. While this would look like an extreme waste of money, Anko was fortunate that her small blonde friend had a talent with the Confundus Charm. Whenever she was with Naruto, the cashier at each bookstore unexpectedly announced a sale on Make-Out Paradise for no more than a few credits.

This fortunate turn of events made Anko all the more excited and Naruto all the more satisfied. Each time the two of them heard the low prices; he slid his wand back into his sleeve and Anko was none-the-wiser.

When the two of them finished their purchases and cleared Konoha of all the specific Make-Out Paradise and Icha-Icha Violence volumes, Anko and Naruto ran to the middle of a field in the local park. Anko and Naruto both carried massive brown rucksacks filled to the brim with books with age-restriction marks laced all over them. The two of them threw the sacks into the dirt and watched the countless books flood out at their feet. Naruto and Anko smiled at each other, almost unable to contain their excitement.

"You still want to do this, Nee-chan?" he asked.

The woman answered, "You don't have to ask me!"

"Then in the words of Iruka Umino: GERONIMO!" he said back.

Anko cracked her knuckles and clicked her neck before she bit her thumb and summoned a small cloud of smoke. Naruto ducked down, and reached for the first obscene book he could reach. The blonde teen reeled back his arm and threw the book into the air, like a Frisbee. Anko then let out a shout and out from the white smoke, five dark snakes flew out from her sleeve and tore the book into a million shreds. The attack was so fast and the snakes did such clean work that the book could have been blown to bits with a bomb. Naruto bounced into the air and started laughing while Anko let out a delightful squeal. The blonde-haired teen then reached for another book and Anko order her animal summons to return. Naruto tossed the book above his head, and Anko sent to snakes out to take it down. Naruto was showered with shredded bits of his sensei's favorite literature while he held his arms out and swirl in circles

"Yeah!" he cried out.

Anko threw her fist into the air and shouted, "Got it!"

This continued over a hundred times, and each time Anko and Naruto ruined one of Kakashi's beloved series, the more delighted the two of them felt as the field became filled with the sounds of a brother and sister bond.

"Oh! You almost had that one!"

"BULLS-EYE!"

"YES! I DID IT!"

"YOU GOT IT!"

"There's another!"

"Ahh!"

"I GOT IT!"

"I almost missed that one!"

"There's another!"

"YES!"

"YEAH!"

"WOO-HOO!"

Within no time at all the field was covered in the shredded remains of the Icha-Icha book series as more bits and shreds rained down from the heavens like snow. Naruto had fallen down and started to make angels out of the remains on the field while Anko sat down, exhausted from the amount of chakra she used while her snakes slithered around the field, curious about their environment. Anko then order her summons to shred whatever books were left in the rucksacks while she and Naruto rested on the result of the ultimate prank. When the mood calmed down, Anko embraced Naruto and held him close to her like an older sister would and even kissed the crown of his head out of affection. The blonde-haired shinobi blushed and smiled as he leaned close to Anko. Once the snakes had ruined the last of the books, Anko looked down at her little friend and smiled.

The snake mistress then asked him, "How about we have another round of dango at the Amaguriama, little Leo?"

"Great," he beamed as he carried the rucksack that contained the remains of the books, "But can I have more than two sticks this time?"

The woman snorted and answered, "No! You can have two of them and no more!"

"Oh, come on!" he whined.

Anko shook her head and gestured him to follow her out of the park, "That's for that little stunt from earlier! You never stand between a woman and her sweets!"

"Does that include Iruka-kun?" he asked as he teased his older sister.

The lavender-haired woman swathed her arm around his neck and teased the teen as the two of them walked, "Oh, knock it off!"

For the next hour or so, Naruto and Anko munched down on a mini-marathon of sweets. This was then followed with a sword fighting contest the sticks for their sweets. The two of them scared several of the other customers as their outrageous antics went too far when the two of them danced on the table. Anko and Naruto were soon asked to leave when but went for a short walk until it was sunset. Anko dropped Naruto off at Iruka's house and the two of them waved each other, their smiles still on their faces ever since the book shredding at the local park.

The teen breathed and continued to nibble on whatever flavor remain on his sweet stick as he watched Anko lift her hand in farewell and walked down the street. Once she was gone, Naruto removed his wand and unlocked the front door. He abandoned his coat on the wooden chair next to the door and saw Iruka was in the kitchen. The tan-skinned man was now in his leisure outfit that consisted of his normal shinobi pants and his one dark-red t-shirt that showed off the details of his muscles. He still had his headband wrapped around his head and had made a snack for himself after work.

"Hi there," the older man greeted from inside the kitchen, "You have a good time on your missions?"

"No," the teen answered with a frown, but then he smirked as he entered the living room and said, "But in the end, it all worked out well enough."

Naruto sat on the couch and stretched out his toes.

Iruka sat down next to him with his sandwich, loaded with various deli meats and some lettuce, then he asked after his first bite, "Did I miss something?"

The blonde-haired rookie went into detail about the events while his older brother ate his sandwich. But when Naruto reached the details with his sensei, Iruka furrowed his eyebrows and left his unfinished sandwich alone. He became too furious to think about food at the moment and started to crack his knuckles like he had a lot more work to do.

"You want me to talk to him or kick his ass?" he asked in a serious voice, "Please ask me to kick his ass."

Naruto shook his head and said with a smile, "No need for it. I got him back and then some!"

"You did?" he asked, "How?"

At the same time Naruto went into detail with his tale, a certain silver-haired teacher had returned home to relax and read. He kicked off his sandals and unzipped his flak jacket before closing the door behind him and waited for the click of the lock. When he took the first step into the apartment, Kakashi felt like something was different. He turned his head upward and sniffed the air to pick up a mixed scent. The man's lone eye squint in suspicion before he lifted his arm and took a whiff of himself. He then coughed and shrugged it off as his own stench.

"Phew," he commented, "I need a shower!"

He threw his flak jacket on the couch as he made his way to his bedroom. He scratched at his behind while he made his way to his desk and checked over the red Icha-Icha Violence book he left on a few old documents. He zoomed through the pages of his book before he sighed and placed it back in its rightful place with the rest of his collection. Just as he was about to turn around and take a shower, he couldn't help but notice that he missed two small volumes. He checked the numbers and realized that two of his favorite volumes of Icha-Icha Violence and Make-Out Paradise had vanished. He started searching his entire bedroom for those two books and it didn't take long for him to start to panic. He tore apart his mattress and removed all other books from his room that were not marked with the signature age-restriction label. He rampaged through his other possessions and checked within the smallest crevices of the apartment in search of his two most valuable novels. He searched his kitchen and tossed out his couch cushions. When his apartment was upside-down, he collapsed onto the floor in the middle of his apartment and cried comical alligator tears. It felt like a lightning storm went off behind him and his entire world cracked.

"Where..." he then cried to the heavens, "WHERE EVER HAVE YOU GONE, MY PRECIOUS EROTIC LITERATURE?!"

Iruka smiled with utter delight, "He's gonna go insane..."

"I know," Naruto then smiled, "Isn't that brilliant?!"

The chunin opened his arms in welcome, "I am so proud to call you my little brother! Come here!"

Naruto lunged into the embrace and smiled when the chunin patted him on the back before the two of them clicked on the television. Back in the mindscape, the older wizard sat back in his chair.

'You do realize that he's going to kill you if he ever finds out, right?'

'I had my arm broken last month and almost died, I'd like to see what he could do.'

All was calm and quiet for the next couple of minutes, the two shinobi sitting back and watching television. But then, as the commercial was about to run, the chunin on the couch opened his eyes when he thought of something genius. It must have been some kind of an impulse that he managed to suppress for about a decade, back when he used to be an expert prankster.

"Hold on a second," he said, "You still have those books? The shredded remains?"

"Yeah," he answered after looking back at the door.

The tan-skinned chunin scrambled to the telephone and said, "I have an idea!"

To Be Continued…

Okay, before I receive a thousand emails requesting that I pair Naruto with Anko as a couple, IT'S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN! Not that I have anything against the pairing or anybody that enjoys it out there, it's just that I find the idea of a young boy hooking up with a fully grown woman (Anko, Kurenai, Tsunami, Tsunade, Shizune) to be bonkers. I really never understood why some fics out there, harems and normal pairings alike choose to pair him with women who are significantly older than him.

AZ44: Did somebody mention saucy pairings?

K: Save it, you pinky wafer! Anyway, I look forward to reading your reviews, guys! I hope you enjoyed this chapter and I'll work hard on the next one, covering Naruto's thirteenth birthday!