I apologise for nothing. My writing tablet has been broken for too long, the world is too chaotic, and I keep forgetting to even begin. Add in the fact that I refuse to publish garbage, and let's just say not much has gotten done over the past few months.

I really don't know what I was expecting. I knew I'd be ignored, or denied, but this level of aloofness is really something special.

"Waitaminute. What're you sayin', guy?" responds Neptune, head cocked to the side, with a fist on her hip. "You're expecting me to believe that there are super-scary monsters just running around Planeptune? In a starter area, no less?"

Right, she hasn't even seen one of the things before. Ugh. I think she'd be more willing to believe us if she had been with us when we fought Trick.

I sigh, and take a seat on a nearby chair. How exactly will I go about this...

"Look, I'm not sure if anything I'll say will convince you, but I'm adamant… There are things out there and they're bad. I don't really have any proof, but you gotta believe me."

Yes, let's dumb it down a bit for Neptune. Simple is better, right?

Neptune herself just stares back at me, not entirely believing. Honestly, I'm beginning to cease believing myself.

"So… If it was pinned by a giant dogoo and not moving, then why didn't ya, y'know, snap a quick pic with your phone?" She mimes the action, adding in a little 'click' to ice the cake.

I pause. There's no way I'm going to admit that I'm too poor to buy a phone here. Never in a million years. Although, maybe I should grab a digital camera or something. Those don't have upkeep, right?

As I'm re-evaluating my options, it is then that salvation arrives.

"I brought more cookies, Sis!" chirps Nepgear, carrying a large silver tray brimming with freshly-baked biscuits. The tantalizing scent is enough to draw both of our attention, but the situation is dire enough that I'm forced to talk through the delicious haze of chocolate and butter.

"Uh, Nepgear? I found one of those humanoid ASIC monsters in Virtua Forest. You remember tho-" I begin fighting down the urge to drool.

There's a moment of silence, before Nepgear drops her tray. Dozens of cookies fall to the dirty floor, either breaking in half, or smooshing against the metal floor. There's a moment of shocked silence all around.

"My cookies!" cries Neptune, who dramatically throws herself to the floor to begin salvage operations, but she's immediately cut off by her sister's exclamation.

"W-what? Why? Where? H-how many?!" sputters Nepgear, worry and confusion in her expression. She has her sword out, and is looking around frantically.

I let loose a sigh of relief. Finally, someone I can tell. I take a breath, and go through what I've learned.

Since it really wasn't much to begin with, it only takes five minutes or so to go over it all; My information, what I saw, and the deductions I drew from both of those two things.

"-and that's why I'm worried there might be more hidden in Planeptune." I finish, nodding. "Um, you got all that, right?"

Nepgear nods quickly. "Goodness… I hope there are less here then there were in Lowee… B-but anyway… We'll need to make sure that they don't get anywhere near our Sharicite..."

She turns towards Neptune, mouth open to continue her thought, and I follow her gaze-

"Wuh?" speaks Neptune, whose entire face is coated in chocolate and cookie debris. She's on her knees, in the midst of the cookie explosion. She's already made quite a dent in the ranks, paving a path of clear floor amidst the cookie carnage.

Neither me, nor Nepgear say a word, we merely exchange glances, before turning back to Neptune confusedly.

"'M nah gonna waschtee coogies." says the CPU, swallowing her mouthful of treat. "Plus, like, the five second rule, Jr! The five second rule!"

"There is no way that that has been only five seconds." I utter, miming tapping an invisible watch.

"Cutscenes don't count!"

I stare at her, before I just shake my head. This is getting nowhere, and even if it was, it's not like I know any base locations in Planeptune to raid. I mean, I know there is at least one base in Planeptune, but not where it is. They have to, otherwise, how would they run their invasion later? Or was there one from something else? Bah, I'm beginning to forget the details. It's been too long since I've arrived.

"Look, I'm going to go look into the problem myself. I just thought you two would like to be kept in the loop, is all." I shrug.

Neptune nods, not looking up from her task. I see her try to rub one of the dirty cookies against her parka to try to get rid of the dust, and it's then that I am sure that it's my time to leave.

"Good luck, Derek." is Nepgear's goodbye. "Now, where did I put the broom…"

This time, my trip to the guild is much more focused. I know exactly where to go, and besides a quick check in at the information desk for direction, I'm right at it immediately.

Skipping the quest boards, I instead move towards the back, towards a corkboard peppered with dozens of random scraps of information. Here we are. The rumor board, straight out of Fantasy Tactics.

I've only been here for a few minutes, and I can already see why these aren't as popular as quests.

None of these have any rewards attached to them, and most of them are entirely useless. There's a bit of everything in here: Cake recipes, unsubstantiated rumors, monster tips, and even some girl's diary. That's not even counting the bunch that are basically just an internet chat board.

I swear, there's like fifty posts between these two adventurers here. Can't they y'know, talk in person or something?

I groan as I look down at everything I've pulled off of the board. Basically, anything with a date newer than when the CPUs were released a few weeks ago. Everything before that is probably out of date, or not really relevant.

Either that, or a plot quest Neptune forgot existed.

Ignoring that possibility, I end up sorting the piles into the usual. Useless, Potentially useful, Definitely useful, and Funny. Sadly, there's only two papers in the "Definitely useful" pile, and the other good pile is mostly just hunting tips.

Sighing, I flip through the two hits. One's something about strange people moving around in the wilderness north of Planeptune, and the other's about strange nighttime boats at the docks.

Well, as much as I'd love to mess around in a forest, it's past noon already, meaning I'd end up wandering around the dark. Which is never fun, and will probably just end up with me getting lost.

I grumble as I lazily stuff the rest of the useful rumors into a file folder, and stow it away. Who knows, maybe I can use some of this crap later.

The air is crisp and fresh as I step onto the Planeptunian Boardwalk, clutching a flashlight. The tang of salt is all but omnipresent, as is the constant low crash of waves against the wooden slats holding up the structure. I can tell right away that it's an entirely different beast than the Lastation docks: gone is the overuse of metal and concrete, and in its place is an authentic-looking setup of wood and what I can assume is reinforced plastic.

Whatever it is, it seems to do its job, so I'm not complaining.

Right, so the rumor was something about nighttime ships causing trouble. Considering how this is right up against the land, it must be further along. With that assessment done, I begin my walk forwards into the dark.

I can't help but groan as I notice something skittering about in the distance, too small to be human. They don't look as alien as the creatures I'm looking for, meaning they're just regular monsters. Great, so they come out at night.

Slowly, I make my way across the docks, occasionally kicking the few monsters unfortunate enough to cross my path into the water. I don't have enough time to actually fight them, and while they really look like they wish to cause me harm, they just aren't fast enough to stop me.

I guess a low level area is as good as any to set up a private port. It keeps the idiots away, although it doesn't seem to work on the mid-level idiots, such as I.

Arriving at my destination, I sweep my light left and right. All of these boats are anchored, and appear to have been here for a long time, so it can't be any of these.

With a grumble, I take a seat on a nearby bench, and turn off my light. Here I was hoping I'd stumble across what I needed to without needing to wait. Oh well, I suppose it's for the best. I can't see any monsters near me either, meaning this is either a safespot, or they're just too dumb to path over here.

Now, all that is left, is to wait.

After twenty minutes of sitting in the dark, listening to the waves and breathing in the fresh air, something finally happens.

With a low putt-putt-putt, the sound of a quiet engine grows nearer, and the faint signs of light can be seen approaching. Rising to my feet, I take cover against a boat. If worst comes to worst, I'll just sink whatever low-power skiff is coming in with a bomb, and run for the hills.

Slowly, the boat comes to a stop, and the engine cuts off. I hear a creak of wood from the ship, then heavy breathing and footsteps leading away. I hold my breath for several more moments, before I take a risk and poke my head out of my hiding spot.

I can't see anyone, so I turn on my flashlight, before quickly turning it off again. Happy at not having been jumped, I get up fully, and approach the invading boat.

The ship itself is painted a slate grey, and about five meters long. A few medium-sized containers are stacked in the back, and it doesn't appear to be guarded. I thank my good luck, and hop onto the boat.

Alright, first step, identify what the heck is in these.

I pick up one of the smaller containers, about the size of an ice cream tub, and give it a light shake. I get a quiet sloshing in return.

I blink, and put down the object. Fluids?

Shaking my head, I try to find a way to open this strange object. The lid is on tight, and it definitely doesn't unscrew loose.

Carefully, I pry open the tight lid with the edge of my knife, and peer inside the now-revealed container, shining my flashlight into it.

Inside is a foul smelling dark fluid, which seems to devour the light that it touches. An uneasy feeling spreads through me as I continue to stare.

Before my eyes, the contents of the container bubble, before a single, twisted hand rises from within.

Needless to say, I immediately hurl the accursed object into the ocean, squeaking in terror. The half-formed hand rises out of the water for a moment, before its 'food' is spread too thin for it to survive, and it dissolves into the hungry sea.

Fuck. Well, what the hell will I do with the rest of these?

I look at the rest of the containers, ranging in size from the good old ice cream tub, to what appears to be an eight gallon bucket.

The pool in Lowee spawned over two hundred monsters, and that was what, ninety litres or so? Probably more, if I think back. I never measured, but it seemed deep and big, and there were a lot of monsters.

Needless to say, if there's an equal density of Shades in these containers as there were in that pool, then there are also a lot of monsters on this boat.

With a forced smile, I step back. Well… now what? I can't bring these back with me, since they-

Just to be sure, I try to stuff one of the smaller tubs into my inventory pouch, but get a good old 'error' in return. I suppose that's why they're transporting them via boat, rather than just by inventory.

Same thing with the chips, I guess. Too complicated to store without loss. And Gamindustri tech doesn't have a void bag function.

I grumble, and look back at the slowly sinking first tub. Well… If I can't get rid of them normally, then this'll have to do.

With a grunt, I stab into the top of the tubs and cut triangular holes, before attempting to dump them over the edge of the boat. Sure, the ocean might get a few new monsters, but I'm certain whatever sea serpents are out there will make a meal of them without any real effort.

The first few tubs are relatively easy to sabotage, a quick three stabs and a tip over the side is enough to get rid of them, but the big ones are too heavy to move. Without a real alternative, I force one of them to the edge of the boat, and jab a hole facing the ocean. With a quiet glug, I can see the stream of fluid run down the barrel, into the ocean's depths. Nodding to myself, I stab a hole in the lid to increase airflow, before moving onto the next.

I work as fast as I can, but it's just barely not enough. By the time I've lined up the last big container, I can hear footsteps returning down the dock.

As quickly as I can, I dash off of the smuggling ship, and onto one of the other ships nearby. To be extra safe, I duck into a cabin, and get onto the floor, out of sight. For a few moments, the world is quiet, save for the approaching footsteps, and the glugging of the monster essence draining into the ocean.

The footsteps stop for but a moment, before they're replaced with the sound of running, and then arguing. The goons accuse each other of leaving the ship unguarded. I hold my breath, as I pray I remain undetected. There's no reason why they'd check back here, right?

It's not like they can smell me or anything, after all.

The argument gets more and more heated, and I try to listen in, but instead, I only hear a low gurgling noise coming from nearby.

Slowly, I turn my head, to face the new sound.

One of the creatures stares down at me, its humanoid form barely visible in the darkness of the night. Unclothed and unarmed, it stares at me with menace, its twisted fingers twitching in anticipation.

Oh. Of course. Of course some of the fluid dripping down the barrel ended up on the smuggler ship.

Well, fuck.

I take my final bracing breath, and know that things are definitely going to get ugly.