Notes: and expand, I did.

I always like writing Carlisle's pov. He's an interesting character if he weren't so limited sigh. Thanks for all the comments, they all made me twirl my hair and giggle (hah!)

I also noticed that in the movie, Carlisle actually believed they were damned. In the books, he was slightly less cynical about it and lamented more about how he doomed their lives with painful bloodlust. He wasn't thinking about their souls at all which was mostly due to his anglican faith. He didn't see his existence as sin.

Whew, as I said, great character right? Hehe.

"Why did you turn me?" Asked Isabella — Bella as she constantly reminded me. She perched on the enormous rock just outside our home in Ithaca. "Edward believes you've damned me. Just like you've damned all of them."

I gave Bella a sigh, giving her a resigned look. I rested my back on the trunk of the tree and dug my hands into the pockets of my trousers. Damnation. Edward did believe I've damned their souls. The boy wasn't religious by any means. He was raised Catholic and wallowed in Catholic guilt. He believed that the universe didn't create itself. And that was it.

I — well, over the years, I've gone by my own philosophy of sorts. My own doctrine, though not so far removed from the beliefs I was raised with.

"We're not damned, Bella." I said gently.

The girl looked at me doubtfully and I gave her a wry smile.

"Tell me, do you believe in a Creator? A God?"

"I'm not — I don't know." She pursed her lips. Again, I marveled at how elegantly pretty she was. The shape of her eyes, and the curve of her cheeks.

"You don't know?"

She flung her hands. "I don't know!" She declared.

"Then," I leveled her a look. "you shouldn't have to worry about being damned at all, sweetheart." She dug her teeth into her lip, her brows furrowing.

"But what if I am damned?" She insisted. "Did you turn me on a whim? To be Edward's," she wildly gesticulated, "something? Cause let me tell you, that boy has hated me since day one! Now, look, I'm alright with all these. I feel like I'm in love with you but I don't think so! I miss Charlie! And I'll miss eating cheeseburgers. And — and I've never given much about how I'd die but I want to know if my soul is actually damned."

Glossing over how she said she was in love with me, my lips twitched at her ramblings. I didn't know the girl could be so animated.

"And the kiss, I was overstimulated... you were just kinda there. I thought I was dead and you were an angel."

I was overcome with amusement but I hid it from her, choosing instead to frown in contemplation. "Bella, you are not damned."

She blinked at me for about ten seconds. "You have an accent."

I tipped my head. "Yes, that would be because I'm originally from England." She looked like she wanted to ask more but I cleared my throat and interrupted her, "Bella, you're not damned. Damnation is a serious thing. We're not monsters."

She cut me off. "But we are. I'm basically inclined to bite off the head of every human I see."

I huffed a breath. "Like every other humans, we are all inherent and capable of doing something beyond what is morally acceptable. We are wired to err, to sin. There is temptation, we give in and we feel remorse. Inclination is different from actually doing it. Our kind has to live every day of their lives dealing with painful bloodlust. Very few go by without ever giving into that temptation. But I don't believe we are damned. Only that we are just as damned as the humans who's just as capable of biting the head of another human. Being condemned means I have done something unforgivable and what have I or you done to merit eternal damnation except to exist?"

She bit her lip and bowed her head thoughtfully, her mahogany tresses curtaining her face.

"Did you ever give in?"

I leaned away from the trunk and stopped to stand in front of Bella. The clouds parted to reveal the sun. The sunlight bounced off our skin. Mine gold, hers a bright silver.

Her eyes widened. Weeks of our animal diet have turned her eyes slightly less crimson. "Holy shit, you're magnificent."

I threw my head back and laughed. "No, I've never given in to temptation. When I fed on a herd of deer those years ago, I realized there was another way of living. We are not senseless killing machines, Isabella. My existence cannot be equated to penance. Though I am not saying I am sinless." I smiled.

"I understand... sort of." Bella said quietly, looking away. "So, why did you turn me?"

"I-" My throat constricted. I wanted to say I turned her for my son, though I knew she'd be furious. It was my original intention. Though looking back at it now, it was the scent of freesias that clung to her I couldn't let go. Tugging me in, caging me.

Very, very few get to meet their souls. I got to meet mine almost four centuries later. Perhaps, I was truly destined to be this creature. There was a reason, after all. Otherwise, I wouldn't have met her. I didn't know what to do with this, however. I wasn't certain if I was willing to change the dynamic of my coven for this girl. For Bella.

I wanted her. I couldn't deny that. But I had a perfectly beautiful wife. I had Esme and we were a bonded pair. What was two months to a century? Still. She was my soul. Inconsequential, my rationale reasoned. So very few get to meet theirs, the meaning of meeting one's soul became meaningless.

"Your father pleaded me to do everything I can to save you." Was all I could say.

"Would I have lived if you hadn't turned me?"

I gave a reluctant nod. "You would have but you would have led a very difficult life. You'd be paralyzed and need constant care."

She grimaced. "Thank you then."

"Don't thank me." I sighed. "I was acting on selfish reasons."

She placed a hand on her hip. My gaze trailed down to the curve of her hip. "You turned me for Edward." She said as though it was a statement.

"Edward has been lonely for ninety years." I shook my head. "though I know I could not use that excuse for dooming you into this life. I can't justify it and I ask for your forgiveness."

"I don't know what to feel."

"That's perfectly valid. And your anger even more so."

"I'm not going to be angry with you." She said softly. "I should be, I know."

Silence simmered between us. She lifted her gaze up at me. "What is this — why do I feel like this for you? I want to kiss you and ..."

"Bella," I began softly, steel in my voice. "I think it's best we don't explore what you feel. It's not something I — we want to risk. Jasper was kind enough to warn us before."

This time, I wasn't startled when she took my hand and placed it against her cool cheek. Her crimson eyes, with flecks of gold starting to surface, were wide. "It's weird but I thought I was yours."

It was very hard to refuse one's self when she was looking at me like that. And saying things like that.

Yet I didn't want her to know about it. She didn't have to. It was unimportant. I pulled my hand away. "I am your sire. Of course, you are mine."

She turned away. I swore if she were human, she would flush. "Does Edward often get the urge to kiss you senseless as well?" She asked quietly.

I cleared my throat soundly, looking up the heavens as I was out of her vision. "It will fade in time. Our bond is fresh. The urge to be close to me is natural."

Her gaze was soft. And she seemed to accept my words. Believed in them even. She backed away and put a respectable space between us, looking awkward. "You should have told me about that sooner. Now, I feel embarrassed. I misunderstood everything."

I held a hand up. "Please, don't be, sweet girl. It was a lapse in judgement in both of our parts."

She nodded, looking anywhere but me. "I should go."

Something twisted in my chest as she hurriedly left.