A/N: Holy shit, I'm back. I'll be slowly updating this story. I have just about finished it. You all have been so incredibly patient, especially yukiheart19, who originally sent me this prompt YEARS ago, and who has been nothing but kind and supportive when I took a hiatus from writing.

Thank you all for your patience. I hope you like this story. It is also VERY similar to the one posted on archive, so if you've read that version, you'll see a lot of similarities. The plot will change more as the story progresses, as this version includes G!P Regina.

Emma lay in bed the next morning, thinking about her conversation with Regina from the night before. She felt such aching guilt at having hurt Henry, and she couldn't help but berate herself for it. She had promised herself she'd never do this, never hurt or disappoint a kid the way she had been hurt and disappointed her entire life by adults. She had so far been pretty successful at it, because she kept her distance from pretty much everyone, especially the kids. It may have seemed ironic, that she loved them so much yet she kept them at a distance… but it was why she kept a distance – because she loved them so much. She wanted to protect them. So, she stayed distant by putting on an act, a persona. She kept the real Emma hidden, because the real Emma made mistakes, had deep-rooted trauma that caused her to act in inadvertently hurtful ways (just like she had done to Henry).

She had run from him, hurt him, and she had truly not meant to. He had gotten so close to her, and her to him. Too close. And it had scared her. And then when you threw Christmas time into the mix, which was always a rough time for Emma, and it was a recipe for disaster. Emma had reacted badly, falling back on bad habits (running). And she was now consumed with guilt for it. She never should have done that to Henry. Or to Regina. She felt horrible about it.

Emma sighed.

This whole being a teacher thing was rough. It was harder than she'd expected emotionally. She thought she'd rock this whole educator thing – she'd go in every day and teach these kids. She'd have fun and play with them. She'd be consistent, not one of those absentee teachers she'd sometimes had growing up. She'd be there for her kids.

And she was confident she'd be good at being consistent because she liked working, so she told herself she'd be different than the adults in her childhood in that she'd be a constant in these kids' lives. She'd be at work every day. And she had been. Hadn't missed a day yet. She'd taught to the best of her abilities, hadn't let any bullying happen in her classroom or within her proximity (something else she'd promised she'd do if she ever landed a teaching gig). She'd been a decent role model, she thought, being fun but firm. And most importantly, reliable. From an emotional distance.

Her worst qualities were fairly easy to hide, because kids were usually too busy being kids to really notice stuff. If she had an off day, emotionally, she was pretty good at hiding it from them, in her humble opinion. Besides, the kids were pros at turning her mood around anyway. So she'd earned the reputation of fun and funny Miss Swan. The one who was never in a bad mood and who was just… happy.

But all of this depended on one thing: distance. Emotional distance. Keeping that invisible wall between her and these kids, between herself and the rest of the staff. She'd done a good job of it, she thought. She could listen and support others, especially the children, with all of their emotional problems and concerns while all the while keeping her own shit to herself.

Emma had even made friends… but there was a barrier there, none of the other staff getting particularly close to the real Emma within. They'd gotten to know the jokey Emma, the light-hearted, easy going woman she presented to the world. That Emma was a hit with most people, especially the kids. And she seemed to be pretty well liked in the school.

Sure, she told people stuff. But they superficial things about herself: that she liked watching science fiction, that she enjoyed playing video games, that her favourite snack was literally anything unhealthy. But secretly, she kept this distance with the people around her; she never, ever told them anything of consequence. It was a dance, one Emma had perfected over a lifetime. Most were none the wiser. Just like everywhere she went, Emma had become a chameleon at the school and thus felt "safe". She had done well. No one would have ever guessed she had a dark, difficult past. That she struggled sometimes. Because she made sure that she kept that carefully hidden. And pretty much everyone bought her act.

Well, other than two exceptions.

Emma sighed, flipping onto her back and staring up at the ceiling.

They had gotten to her. The real her. The her that she tried so hard to keep from others, from the world. The her that was raw, vulnerable, flawed. The her that she kept guarded on purpose, to protect herself and those around her. She was bad at this. Bad at relationships. Bad at forming connections, but somehow the two Mills had gotten to her.

Emma wasn't even sure how it happened. When it happened. Maybe it had been happening since the very beginning, since that very first day she'd come to the school. At least with Henry, it had probably been from the very beginning. He had caught her attention from the very first day. She'd felt a pull towards him, a connection to him. And now she felt it with Regina, too. They'd gotten under her skin. And it made her uneasy. Scared. But, it was also nice. It felt… good.

She felt less lonely when they were around. They made her feel like she was wanted, included, a feeling Emma had spent a lifetime desiring, but suppressing. She'd spent a lifetime convincing herself she either didn't really feel alone, or that she didn't actually want others around. But that was a lie. It just hurt too much to admit the truth, even to herself, that Emma did want people around. People who loved her. The real her, not the one she pretended to be.

But she was scared. Because for that to happen, she had to let people in. And that was scary. That was how she got hurt. Where she had been hurt. Where she made mistakes and others rejected her. And because that real her so rarely came to light, she didn't always know how to act when it happened. How to react. How to exist around others. That "real" her was scary because she was so… well, vulnerable.

People liked the Emma who was happy-go-lucky. The funny Emma. The fun Emma. The easy-going Emma. The Emma who didn't really have an opinion or a preference. People liked the agreeable Emma. The one who went along with what others wanted. And Emma liked the feeling of being liked. And it was easy to keep up that persona when she kept her distance, only staying around people for short periods of time. Never really forming a connection.

But she was often around Regina, around Henry. She liked being around them. Liked spending time with them. And that scared her. Because what if she screwed things up so badly with them that they stopped talking to her? Stopped wanting her around? She'd messed things up really badly over the Christmas break. She had run from them, had hurt them. Had hurt that innocent little boy who had done nothing but love her. He hadn't deserved that, at all. And Emma didn't know how to fix this. Was scared to lose the two people who had come to mean so much to her.

Emma swiped at the tears that formed in her eyes. God, the guilt was overwhelming. She should probably reach out to her therapist again. It had been a couple of years since the last time they'd talk, having left off when Emma felt she'd made progress, that she had been good. But it was probably time to reach out again. She didn't want this to become a pattern. She wanted to do better. Be better. Regina and Henry deserved that much. And so did she.

Emma closed her eyes tightly for a second before opening them back up to stare again at her ceiling, only prying her eyes away when she heard her phone go off from a text message. She looked over to her night stand and sighed, reaching for her phone. She was tired after so much thinking. And so many emotions.

New message from Regina M.

A small smile tugged at Emma's lips, despite the whirlwind of emotions she felt. She swiped at the screen, feeling both eager but apprehensive to read the text.

Hi Emma. It's Henry. What are you doing today? Want to hang out?

Emma's heart melted a little. God, he was such a sweet kid. She had missed him so much. She definitely wanted to see him.

Of course. What does your mom say?

Emma rolled out of bed, making her way to the bathroom. She needed to clean up before she saw him. Guilt still burned in her belly, but the dark cloud around her mood lessened as she thought about getting to see him and his mom.

Emma glanced down at her phone screen when she felt a vibration, swiping to read the message.

She said you "may visit if you wish".

Emma gave a low chuckled, hearing the woman's voice in her head.

Yeah, I wish.

Seventeen minutes later, Emma was strolling down Main Street, pausing when she hit Granny's diner. Her stomach growled, reminding her she still hadn't eaten yet. Emma glanced down at her watch, 11:46 a.m. She should definitely eat something. I wonder if Henry and Regina have eaten yet. Before she could contemplate that thought any further, her legs were already walking her into the diner and she was ordering two stacks of chocolate chip pancakes with whip cream, a bagel with cream cheese and lox, two coffees, and a small chocolate milk.

Ruby, smirking, took the order. When she finished, she looked up at Emma and grinned.

"What?"

"Nothing. That's just a lot of food for one person."

Emma narrowed her eyes. She loved Ruby, but sometimes seeing her at both school and the diner was a bit too much. The woman saw too much.

"You know it's not just for me."

Ruby grinned widely.

"Damn right I do," she said, giggling slightly as she made her way around the counter and over to a nearby table.

Emma rolled her eyes and took a seat as she waited for her food, ignoring Ruby's comment. They both knew damn well who she was buying lunch for and where she was headed.

Storybrooke was tiny. Tinier than tiny. And there were no secrets in a town such as this one. You couldn't even sneeze without someone knowing about it. Everyone was well aware of the time that Emma spent with Regina, and the time that Regina spent with Emma. No one really commented on it, not to their faces anyway. No one except Ruby, who took great pleasure in teasing Emma about the fact that she's been single a long time, you know and she doesn't let anyone in but that she seems awfully friendly with you. Emma always told her to can it, but deep down, she liked the things that Ruby was saying. Especially the bit about Regina seeming to enjoy her presence. Although maybe that had changed now that she'd accidentally hurt Henry. The end of their conversation yesterday had given her hope though. Regina seemed to forgive her.

Emma pulled out her phone and texted back to let Henry know not to eat lunch.

Ohh. What are you bringing? Mom said she was going to make soup.

Emma smirked.

I'm bringing you something better than soup, kid. Don't tell your mom I said that though.

She set her phone down until she heard it vibrate again, swiping at the screen and grinning widely at it.

I can read for myself, miss Swan. No soup for you.

Emma chuckled at her phone, glancing away when she accidentally made eye contact with a grinning Ruby.

"So, how's the wife?"

Emma rolled her eyes and put her phone in her back pocket, biting hard on her tongue so as not to grin wider at her words.

"She's not my wife."

"Oh? Could have fooled me. You guys are awfully chummy. Maybe a little less lately, but I'm guessing since you're here ordering for three, you guys made up. Anyway, you're chummy. Chummier than she's been with anyone in… well, ever maybe."

"We're friends."

"You look at all your friends like that? I'm flattered, Emma."

"Don't you have tables to wait on?"

Ruby grinned. She then paused, hesitating, before bringing up what she'd been wanting to for a couple of weeks.

"Haven't seen you around for a while, Em," Ruby ventured, glancing at the woman before her.

Emma nodded, then gave a slight shrug.

"Yeah, I know. "

"You okay now?"

Emma nodded again.

"Just a rough couple of weeks, that's all."

"You know, if you ever need anything…"

"Thanks, Rubes. I appreciate that."

Ruby squeezed her arm before making her way back to her tables. Emma watched her thoughtfully, grateful for the offer. She probably wouldn't take her up on it, at least not yet (they were friendly, but they weren't close), but she was still appreciative of the offer. It felt nice to know that she was starting to make connections in this town. Now, she just needed to work on trusting other people.

Emma tapped the counter for a second, left alone once again with her thoughts. It had felt nice to feel like Ruby cared. If you ever need anything… Emma thought, replaying the words in her head as she watched Ruby move around the diner.

Emma wasn't in a place right now where she felt safe enough to open up to anyone else. It was hard enough trying to make amends with Henry and with Regina, but maybe with some help she could learn to build real relationships here, actually set roots somewhere for the very first time in her life. She just needed to stop running first.

She hesitated only a second longer before grabbing her phone and opening up her email, firing off a message to her therapist asking if she had the space in her client load to take her on again. She hit "send" before she could think twice about it.

"You did not bring my son chocolate chip pancakes for lunch."

"No, I brought your son and myself chocolate chip pancakes for lunch."

"With whipped cream."

Emma nodded proudly.

"The best part. I brought him milk, too."

"Chocolate milk."

"Is there any other kind?"

Regina shot her a look, but Emma laughed. She knew Regina was teasing her, and it felt nice. It had been too long. She'd missed their banter.

"Come on, live a little. We'll go sliding later and work it all off."

Regina opened her own container, smiling softly at the bagel. She loved bagel and lox. She glanced up at Emma, who grinned at her proudly.

"I did good?"

Regina chuckled.

"Yes, Emma," she replied, squeezing her arm affectionately as she walked by. "You did very well."

Emma beamed proudly, her heart warming at the way Regina smiled at her. She was happy that Regina wasn't holding a grudge, the heaviness from last night having been at least been temporarily erased. Maybe Regina had even forgiven her, but if she hadn't, maybe she would in time. She felt cautiously hopeful.

Emma carried the containers of food to the dining room as Regina made her way to the bottom of the staircase to call for Henry. Emma set the table as usual: Regina across from Henry, and Emma next to him, before going back to the kitchen for their drinks. She placed the chocolate milk at Henry's spot and the coffees at hers and Regina's.

"What's for lunch?" Henry asked excitedly, practically leaping onto his chair. He loved when they got take out. Regina followed behind, slipping into her seat across her son.

"Take a look."

Henry opened the container before him and whooped in excitement.

"Thanks, Emma!"

Henry wasted no time in pouring syrup on his pancakes and digging in, Emma and Regina smiling at one another across the table at his reaction. They both dug in as well, Regina closing her eyes in delight as the first taste of salmon hit her tongue. She loved this meal, but rarely indulged as she had a hard time ignoring the voice in her head, her mother's voice, telling her that the carbs and calories would simply stick to her hips. You know your genes, Regina. You can't afford to eat such things. Look at you already. Your hips are far too wide, but unfortunately those are your father's genes at work. These carbs will go right to your thighs. Unless, of course, you've decided your appearance means nothing, in which case, carry on. It is your body, after all, flawed as it is.

Regina swallowed hard against the words floating in her mind, trying to shake them off, refusing to allow her mother to ruin Emma's thoughtful gesture. She forced another bite, fighting against the way the food was sticking to her throat.

Emma noticed Regina's sudden quiet, saw the way the woman's eyebrows tightened, and the way her chewing slowed after the first couple of bites. Something was happening, Regina was thinking, and Emma didn't know about what. Maybe Regina was thinking about what had happened yesterday, or for the last few weeks, and she was upset with Emma still. Maybe she wasn't actually forgiven. Maybe Regina was just being polite earlier. It would make sense. Of course Regina would be upset still. Emma had hurt her son. Good mothers protected their children and Regina was an excellent mother. Maybe she was working out how to tell Emma to leave and not bother them anymore. Maybe she was trying to decide how best to tell Emma to go. Maybe their conversation last night hadn't gone as well as Emma had thought. Maybe she'd misinterpreted it.

"These are so good, Emma! Thank you so much! How's your bagel, mom?"

Regina quickly glanced at Henry, forcing a smile.

"It's very good," she said tightly, though Emma was sure Henry didn't notice her tone given that the boy grinned widely. "I'm glad you're enjoying your pancakes."

Henry nodded vehemently, spearing another piece of pancake with his fork.

Emma could feel her heart beat accelerate as she looked over Regina's tense posture, the way she was balling her left fist, staring down at the table, unmoving. Had Emma made a mistake in coming here? Should she have given them some more space?

You may visit if you wish.

Maybe Regina had been trying to tell her something. Maybe she didn't actually want Emma here, but that she was tolerating her presence because of Henry. Or was she actually angry that Emma had brought Henry chocolate chip pancakes and chocolate milk? Emma thought she'd been teasing her but the way that Regina was currently refusing to meet her gaze, while Emma was trying very hard to catch it, made her belly churn. She probably really wasn't welcome here. Regina's body language was screaming that something was wrong, and it made Emma's stomach tighten further. She tried one last time to meet Regina's gaze, but the woman steadfastly refused to meet it. Emma was right. Regina didn't want her here.

"I'll just be a second. I forgot something in the kitchen."

Emma quickly shot up from the table, telling herself not to panic. She knew her mind did this. She and Regina had just had a really lengthy talk last night. It had gone well. She was sure it had gone well. Regina had been so supportive. If Regina truly hated her, she wouldn't have actually talked with her. She wouldn't have said the kind, reassuring things that she had.

Emma needed to breathe, needed to calm down, so she made her way to the kitchen, her thoughts racing. Maybe Regina was just going through her list of chores and had forgotten something, or was trying to remember something, and that's why she was frowning like that. Maybe she was trying to think and she didn't want to meet Emma's eyes because she was trying to work something out. Maybe she'd eaten a late breakfast and that's why she wasn't eating.

Emma took a deep breath at the sink, running the cold water and sticking her hand underneath as she fought against the panic rising inside.

Or maybe she's thinking about how this is probably the first time her son has smiled in a while and she's remembering how awful you were to them and she's trying to figure out a way to kick you out without-

Emma gasped loudly when she felt a hand on her shoulder, jerking away from the sink and splashing water all over the floor. She glanced at Regina out of the corner of her eye and quickly began apologising, slamming the tap shut and ripping off a piece of paper towel from the holder. Emma apologised again and ducked down, swiping at the water on the floor. Damn it.

She should get out of here. Regina was definitely still mad at her, and she'd probably be mad that Emma just made a mess on her floor and-

"Emma?"

Emma glanced up, the wet paper towel in a death grip in her right hand.

"I can go. I can tell Henry-"

"Why would you go?" Regina asked, squatting down to meet Emma's eyes. She was feeling incredibly confused. Emma had just raced out of the dining room for no apparent reason, and Regina could not fathom why the woman looked so panicked.

Emma felt her throat constrict.

"I'm sorry."

"Emma, what just happened?"

Emma swallowed, taking a few deep gulps to calm down.

"I'm sorry. I didn't realise it was too soon. I-I should have asked you instead of talking to Henry."

"Too soon for what?"

"For me to be here. You're still upset with me and you have every right to be. I shouldn't have come here. I'm sorry. I didn't know."

"Emma, I don't understand. I'm not upset with you. Why do you think that I'm upset with you right now?"

Emma hesitated, but Regina's sincere look of sincere confusion coaxed her into opening up a little.

"You wouldn't look at me at the table," Emma said softly. "And you were frowning. I couldn't figure out it if it was because you were actually upset about the pancakes or if it was maybe because you were thinking about what I did over Christmas…"

Emma trailed off, looking down at her jeans and picking at them. A wave of guilt washed over Regina when she realised Emma had misinterpreted her reaction at the table.

"Oh, Emma," Regina said gently, tugging at Emma's hand so that they stood again. She took the paper towel from Emma's hand, tossing it in the garbage, and gave a quick squeeze to her now empty hand. "It wasn't you. I wasn't upset with you."

Emma frowned then, not understanding.

"Then what happened?"

Regina took a deep breath for courage before answering honestly.

"My mother's voice was playing in my head. I could hear her telling me that I shouldn't be eating the carbs and cream cheese that you brought me as it would… stick to my hips and my thighs. And I was trying to fight the thoughts. I was concentrating on pushing them from my mind. That's why I wasn't looking at you and why I had stopped eating. I was trying to silence her voice."

"Oh."

Emma quickly moved from fear and panic to relief, then to anger. Regina, seeing the shift in emotions in the woman before her, reached out and squeezed her elbow gently.

"It's alright, Emma."

"Like hell it is. Regina, it's just so wrong. And it's even more wrong that it's her voice, your mother's voice, that's causing this type of reaction in you. Your mom is a piece of work and I hate that she's in your head. I hate that you have to fight her words like that. Especially when the shit she says isn't true. Not even a little bit."

Regina sighed.

"It's been a life-long struggle. I am generally successful at changing my thoughts, thanks to a lot of therapy. I just usually need a moment. Luckily, Henry doesn't really notice. I'm not used to being around other adults when this happens though, at least not ones who are paying attention. I didn't even consider that you might be watching me. Or that you might misinterpret my struggle as being caused by something you did."

Emma gave a small shrug.

"I'm a very conceited person, Regina. I usually try to make it about me."

Regina couldn't help it, she laughed. Emma smiled shyly at her.

"You are the furthest thing from conceited, Emma."

Emma simply smiled wider in response.

"I'm sorry," Regina said sincerely. "It wasn't you. I'm very glad that you're here and I'm very happy with the lunch you brought me. Thank you."

"You're welcome. I'm- I'm glad you're not angry with me right now."

Regina took a step forward and wrapped her arms around Emma, pulling her into a hug. Emma looked like she needed one, and frankly, Regina could use one too.

"I'm not the least bit angry with you," Regina said softly. "Thank you for not running away. And thank you for telling me the truth."

"Well, I ran a little."

"Yes, but I believe you would have come back afterwards."

Emma wasn't so sure. She hadn't thought beyond getting to the kitchen to calm down, but she was glad Regina felt confident in her actions.

"Mom? Emma?"

The women pulled apart, both turning towards the boy, who was clearly concerned.

"Are you okay?"

"We're fine, Henry. Just a little misunderstanding. Have you finished your lunch?"

He smiled a little guiltily.

"Yeah. But I can sit with you guys while you finish yours."

Emma glanced at Regina before responding.

"Your call, kid. But I won't be offended if you wanna go digest before we all go out sledding."

"We're going sledding?" he asked, excitedly.

Regina shot Emma a look.

"I do not sled, miss Swan."

"Oh, yeah you do," Emma said confidently, making her way back to the dining room.

"Mom's never gone sledding."

Emma sat at her place, grabbing her fork and smiling at the two Mills before her.

"Well, we're about to change that. Does your mom have ski pants anywhere, Hen?"

Henry hesitated.

"I do not, as I do not sled," Regina cut in.

Emma shrugged nonchalantly.

"No problem. You can borrow a pair of mine. Go find yours, kid. We'll get going after lunch."

Henry smiled widely, while Regina turned and glared at Emma, who looked at her innocently.

"Come on, Regina. Look how excited he is. Just go down the hill a couple times and I'll do the rest. He's so happy you're going to go with him. Besides, you'll probably have fun."

Regina sighed, knowing Emma was right – about her son at least. He did look excited for her to go.

Regina resumed her place at the table and grabbed her bagel.

"Fine. However, you owe me."

"I owe you? For bringing you somewhere where you'll have fun?"

"That remains to be seen," Regina said skeptically, though she knew the very second Henry expressed excitement at her joining him, there was absolutely no other decision to be made. She'd be going sledding.

A/N: So for whatever reason, I no longer get emails from FF letting me know people have reviewed. Please know I am not ignoring you! FF, for whatever reason, doesn't tell me you've left me a message!