A/N: The first chapter posted today was chapter 19, so please make sure you're starting to read from there!
"Regina, where are your ski pants?"
Regina looked down at her slacks.
"This is what I had planned to wear."
Emma shook her head.
"That won't be warm enough. I wasn't kidding about you needing them. You really don't own any ski pants?"
Regina shrugged.
"I've never needed them."
"Then you're in luck. I had a feeling so I brought you a pair."
Emma walked over to the bag she had brought with her.
"I don't think-"
"I know. That's why I do the thinking for you. Here you go!"
Regina glared.
"You think you're clever, don't you?"
"No. I know I'm clever."
Regina rolled her eyes and made no move to grab the garment.
"Come on, Regina. Take them. You're going to freeze if you don't. Your legs are going to get covered in snow when we're sliding and then it's gonna melt and then you're gonna get all wet and then you're gonna complain that you're not having a good time. So please, take the pants and stop making things so hard."
Regina, suddenly inspired, grabbed the proffered item and smirked.
"For someone who claims to enjoy dating both men and women, I thought you'd like when someone was wet and things were hard."
With that, Regina turned and walked away, feeling very amused. She knew the comment would fluster the other woman, and if Emma was going to drag her sledding, then the least she could do was pay her back a little.
Emma, on the other hand, simply stared after her, unable to respond. Had Regina really just said that? There was no way that Regina had meant those words to be taken any other way than sexually.
Her throat went dry as she repeated Regina's words in her mind, dangerous visuals suddenly popping into her head. She swallowed hard, allowing herself a few seconds to enjoy said visuals before she slowly reached back into the bag and pulling out the other pair of ski pants.
Regina is your friend, she reminded herself, stop that.
Emma slipped the ski pants over her trousers, trying desperately to change her thoughts. Luckily, Emma didn't have to try very hard as she was saved by the woman's son poking his head around the top of the steps.
"Mom?" Henry called out, "Can Ava come sledding with us?"
Emma waved up at Henry, who grinned widely at her and waved back, before turning back towards the sound of his mother's voice.
"If you'd like to bring her, and her father agrees, she may come, yes. Ask Emma if she minds though. She did invite us after all and it would be rude not to check with her to see if she has any objections."
Regina already knew Emma wouldn't care, would likely be happy for Henry to bring a friend, but this was a good lesson for Henry, an opportunity to teach him about social etiquette. You didn't just invite someone along without permission of the host, or in this case, the woman who had planned the event.
As predicted, Emma readily agreed, happily stopping to pick the girl up before heading to the hill where they'd all be sledding. The two children ran up ahead with their toboggans, Emma hanging back and watching an apprehensive Regina.
"I'd be happy to simply watch them."
"I'm sure you would be. But the whole point was for us to join them. Henry would love to see you sliding as well. It's fun, Regina. Trust me."
Regina did believe Emma. She'd watched enough grown adults laugh as they'd gone down this very same hill, but she was self-conscious. They were lucky this morning that no one else was here, but still. She was nervous. She'd never done this before. What if she fell? What if the toboggan didn't move at all? What if she did it all wrong, and then looked like an idiot? Worse, what if she had a good time and someone else saw her? The persona she adopted around others, the cold-hearted bitch, was a very effective defense mechanism, one that Regina had perfected over the years. It kept others away. If they saw her now, having fun with her son… What other gossip would that lead to? Regina didn't care what people thought of her. Sort of. But she did despise being the source of gossip.
"What is it?" Emma asked, inadvertently pulling the woman from her thoughts.
"What if I do it wrong?" Regina blurted out, her insecurity seeping into her voice. Regina cursed herself for it. She hated being vulnerable. But Emma's eyes, so wide and inviting and safe. Damn it. She'd been unable to stop from being honest.
Emma shrugged at her words.
"You're new at this. You don't have to be perfect at it right away," she reassured. "No one is perfect at anything, especially not at first."
Except I've expected to be perfect, always, at everything, my entire life. Regina, however, kept the thought to herself.
Emma saw that her words weren't having the desired soothing effect she was aiming for, so she changed tactics.
"Why don't you ride down with me for the first few times? You can just sit and I'll do all the hard work. Then there's no pressure."
Regina hesitated before acquiescing. Emma had done this before. She knew what she was doing. And Regina, well, she trusted Emma. Trusted her to ensure her physical safety anyway.
"Thank you."
"Of course!" Emma beamed, elated that the other woman hadn't backed out. She grabbed the last toboggan, along with the crazy carpets and the one snow tube she had brought. Regina offered to help carry but Emma refused. "I can do it."
Regina rolled her eyes.
"What?"
"Typical. You refuse to ask for help."
"Now what kind of gentleman would I be if I let the pretty girl carry heavy stuff?"
Regina looked away, refusing to admit her suddenly pink cheeks were from anything but the cold.
"Didn't take the kids long to get started," Emma offered, changing the subject when Regina went quiet.
Regina, grateful for the distraction, nodded.
"Yes," she replied, a smile touching her lips at joyful shouts coming from both Henry and Ava. "They seem to be enjoying themselves."
"You will too," Emma said confidently, dropping everything but the toboggan once they reached the bottom of the hill. "Come on."
Regina followed Emma up the hill, her stomach tightening in apprehension. Although she could admit that it did seem like fun, she was still nervous. She hated doing new things, hated the possibility of failure and humiliation. She'd worked on this in therapy, this fear that lived so deep inside of her, but it still came out sometimes, despite her best efforts.
Do not allow your fear to control you. Do not allow her, her words, to continue to control your life. She's done that enough; do not allow her any more power over you. You are an adult now. You are no longer at her mercy. She does not control you and you are free to do anything you want to do. She cannot hurt you anymore.
Regina allowed her former therapist's words to wash over her, powering through her fear as she neared the top of the hill. She repeated the words like a mantra, breathing in deep as she pushed aside her fear and focused on her son's enthusiasm.
She wanted to do this. Wanted to have fun with her son, create this memory with him. She wanted to be the mother hers never was. She wanted Henry to have good memories of her, with her. Ones that he could treasure. She used that desire to push her up, towards the thing that scared her. Henry deserved positive experiences with her. Especially, since he wanted them, and so did she. She just needed to be brave.
Regina stopped at the top of the hill with Emma, unsure of what to do next. She watched as Emma angled the sled, holding onto it near the back, before gesturing to Regina to sit down.
"Sit at the front, cross your legs inside, and hold onto the rope like you're holding onto a horse's reins. Make sure your feet aren't sticking out, okay? Nobody wants a broken leg."
Regina's eyes widened.
"Don't worry. You'll be fine. Just keep yourself tucked in."
Regina side-eyed her before gingerly climbing on the toboggan, crossing her legs as instructed.
"Good," Emma encouraged, before climbing behind her and settling in. She used her fists against the snow to hold them in place before asking Regina if she was ready.
"As I'll ever be."
"Go, mom!" Henry whooped, "You can do it!"
A smile broke across Regina's lips at Henry's enthusiasm, and she chuckled at Ava, who was jumping up and down at her in encouragement. Part of the tension left her, and Regina nodded.
"Let's go."
Emma let go, and then all at once they were racing down the hill. Regina's belly jumped at the sudden speed, a giggle bursting from her chest at the unexpected sensation. Emma grinned behind her, enjoying the feel of wind whipping at her face, laughing at the sounds of joy coming from the woman in front of her. She loved hearing the sounds of delight Regina let out, smiling widely as they raced down the hill. That is, until they hit a bump and Emma was promptly thrown from the toboggan.
After the initial shock, Emma began laughing loudly and rolled down the rest of the hill. She stopped a few feet from Regina, who had quickly scrambled up from the toboggan and made her way over.
"Emma, are you alright?"
Emma, giggling, face full of snow, nodded.
"Yep. I'm fine. That's one of the perils of not holding on. Let's try again."
"You okay Emma?!" Henry shouted, smiling when Emma gave him a thumbs up.
"Let's go!" Ava encouraged, "Let's have a race to the bottom of the hill!"
Emma looked over at Regina.
"I'm game if you are."
"As long as we are not racing up the hill. The climb is more difficult than I expected."
Emma laughed.
"Yeah, it is. We're getting old, Regina."
Regina scoffed in response, leading the way up.
"How can we prevent you from falling this time?" Regina asked after a moment.
Emma hesitated.
"Well. Usually you hold the cord, which is fine for the person in front. The person in back usually just… holds the person in front."
Regina frowned, looking back.
"Well, why didn't you just do that?"
Emma shrugged.
"I didn't want to make you uncomfortable by asking," Emma said. "You know… with everything that's happened between us. With what I did. I- I know things are different. I don't want to misstep."
Regina stayed quiet until they reached the top of the hill. She approached Emma, speaking quietly.
"You don't make me uncomfortable, Emma. In fact, I… I feel quite comfortable around you. You made a mistake, yes. But I know you're apologetic and I know you're going to endeavour not to repeat that same mistake. Stop beating yourself up over what happened. You've apologised to both Henry and I, and we forgive you. You're human. We make mistakes. But then we learn from them and we move on."
Regina took another half step forward, holding Emma's gaze. She reached out and held her arm, wanting contact for the next words she spoke.
"We're okay, Emma. Things aren't different. We're still friends, alright? Just as we were before."
Emma, warmed by her words, and also feeling a little emotional at the reassurance, smiled softly.
"Okay," she whispered.
"Mom! Emma! Are you ready?"
Emma cleared her throat and took a step away, regretting the loss of Regina's hand on her arm, even if she hadn't felt much through the several layers of clothing. It had been nice to be touched by her.
"One second, kid."
Emma turned back to Regina, "Ready?"
Regina nodded in response.
"Okay. Sit a little further back this time and put your legs straight out in front of you. Just make sure your legs stay inside the toboggan."
Regina did as she was told, feeling butterflies in her stomach as Emma settled in close behind her. She really did feel comfortable around Emma. Probably too comfortable if her body's reaction just now was anything to go by, but she didn't allow herself to dwell on that thought.
"Is it okay if I get a bit closer?"
Oh yes. Regina nodded, warmth blooming in her belly as Emma was suddenly right up against her back, her legs coming around to circle around Regina's.
"Lift your knees for a sec."
Regina did as she was told, Emma slipping her ankles and calves under Regina's knees. Regina was being cradled between Emma's legs and she was definitely, definitely liking this too much. Emma then wrapped an arm around her belly (and oh, if this is what sledding entailed, Regina would certainly like to do this again), her other hand digging into the snow, holding them in place at the top of the hill.
"Lean back and get comfortable," Emma said softly, swallowing as Regina relaxed into her. "Good?"
"Yes."
Emma looked over at Henry, who was watching curiously.
"Ready, kid?"
"Yep!"
"Okay. Ready, set, go!" Emma pushed off with her right hand, laughing as the children screamed in delight as they each took off, both yelling that they were going to win.
Emma wrapped her other hand around Regina, holding her tight as they raced down the hill.
"You know, I didn't realise how quickly these toboggans went!" Regina exclaimed, grin evident in her voice.
"That's half the fun!" Emma laughed back, tightening her hold, enjoying the feel of the other woman in her arms. Regina's weight felt nice against her, comfortable, and she desperately wished this hill were infinitely taller so she'd have more time to hold her.
Emma squeezed Regina's middle affectionately, causing them both to smile. Regina looped her arms around the cord and before letting them come to on Emma's, sighing quietly to herself.
Emma's eyes closed as she enjoyed the few seconds of contact, focusing on the way Regina leaned into her, the way her soft weight felt against her front. When they slowed at the bottom of the hill, Emma's belly dropped in disappointment, but she was happy she'd even gotten just those few seconds. When Regina turned around to face her, the smile plastered all over her face did slightly make up for the loss Emma felt when the woman pulled away.
"Fun?" Emma asked, as she got up to her feet.
"Fun," Regina confirmed, allowing herself to be helped up.
"Will you slide with me now, mom?"
"Of course, mijo. But I think you'll need to trade with Emma as we won't fit on your sled."
The boy happily traded slides with his teacher, eagerly chatting with his mother as they made their way up the hill.
"I'm really glad you're sliding with us, mom. This is really nice."
"It is."
"You're having fun?"
"I am. Are you?"
Henry nodded eagerly.
"Emma has lots of good ideas. I'm glad she said we should do this. I like having her around."
"Me too," Regina responded, looking over at the woman in question. Their eyes met, and Emma smiled softly at her, causing Regina's lips to switch in response. She really did like having Emma around. She liked even more feeling the woman's arms wrapped around her. She wondered if she could entice Emma into a few more rounds down the hill.