"You went on a date?! When!" Belle practically squealed. "Regina, you have to tell me everything."
Regina grinned down at her coffee, before remembering that they were in public. She quickly looked around, relieved to see no one was paying them any attention.
"Sorry," Belle said, looking contrite. "I'll keep my voice down. But please, tell me everything. I was wondering why Emma was in such a good mood this week. Well, more so than usual. Anyway, tell me. When was your date?"
Regina smiled at her enthusiasm. It was nice to get to talk about this with someone.
"Four days ago. Henry had his lesson that night. Since we both had the evening free, we decided on then. But it wasn't a date in the traditional sense. We spent the evening in our pyjamas eating Chinese food out of take out containers and talking."
Belle sighed wistfully.
"That sounds perfect."
"It was," Regina admitted.
And it had been. After Emma had returned with their dinners, they had curled up on the couch and spoken of lighter topics: their favourite places in Storybrooke, their favourite things to do when they had any time off, comedians they enjoyed, books they loved to read. They'd spoken about their childhood friendships and their most memorable teachers. They'd even discussed Mary Margaret's positive influence on Emma when she'd been younger, Regina finding that despite her feelings for Mary Margaret, she had been genuinely grateful that Emma had had her at a time in her life when a strong, compassionate role model had been needed.
"Hello?"
Regina snapped back to reality, grinning sheepishly at the other woman.
"Sorry."
"Would you care to tell me about where you just went?" Belle teased. "Perhaps thinking of the end of the date? Or the morning after?"
Regina shook her head, rolling her eyes.
"It was a first date, Belle. Nothing happened."
"Not even a kiss?"
"Not even a kiss. We're taking things slowly."
Belle sighed dramatically.
"That's too bad. There's always the second date. Which is when?"
"Tonight, actually. Henry is with my parents," Regina paused here, frowning a little. She still wasn't sure why her son wanted to spend the weekend with his grandparents but he'd been insistent, excited, and so Regina wasn't going to say no when he was so eager to go. "So Emma will be taking me for dinner."
"Tonight!" Belle exclaimed, perking up. "That's so exciting. What will you be wearing?"
"I'm not sure where we're headed, but Emma requested that I wear a dress so I've chosen a burgundy one I don't believe she's seen yet."
Belle was smiling from ear to ear.
"I'm happy for you, Regina. Truly."
"Thank you," Regina responded softly. It had been a long time since she'd shared like this with someone else other than Emma, and it felt nice.
"Are you nervous?"
"A little. It's been a while since I've dated and we both know I'm not easy to get along with…"
"Emma seems to find it easy enough to get along with you."
"She's one of a kind."
"I never used to find you difficult to be around, Regina," Belle ventured carefully. "In fact, quite the opposite. You were always so easy to talk to. I loved being your friend."
Regina regarded her carefully, unsure of how to respond to that.
"I haven't been easy to be around in a long time."
"A lot has happened."
Regina nodded at that. That was certainly true. She could feel their conversation shift directions, and she wasn't sure how she felt about it changing from something light and easy to something more difficult and weighted.
"I'm sorry," Belle started, "for not reaching out after- after it happened. After you left. I should have. I should have checked up on you. I should have called."
"We were young."
"Yeah, but that's exactly why I should have. You were so young, Regina. And you left Maine, all alone. I had heard what happened, about what your mother did after-"
Regina waved her hand, cutting her off.
"It's in the past."
Belle reached across the table, covering Regina's hand with her own, squeezing it gently.
"It's not though. I know it follows you and I'm sorry it still does. For what it's worth, I hate her, Regina. I've no right but I despise her. For what she's put you through and what she's gotten away with. You have always deserved better than her."
Regina took a deep breath before looking into Belle's eyes.
"Thank you."
"And I'm sorry for not reaching out to you when you returned. I was ashamed of my behaviour, of having ignored you while you were in California, and for not supporting you better after everything had happened here. For not defending you. And then when you came back so angry, understandably so, I felt I had no right to impose on you."
"I know you tried. When I came back, you did reach out. I wasn't ready though and I was angry. I was scared you'd just.. hurt me as I'd been hurt by so many other people in this town. So, I'm sorry as well, for pushing you away."
"I don't blame you. I never did. The fact that you're still sane after growing up with a mother like Cora-"
Belle stopped when Regina barked out a laugh.
"That's debatable. Some days I felt insane. I still do occasionally."
The women shared a grin.
"Well, I'd have gone insane without a doubt. And I'd have become cruel, I think."
"Not you, Belle. You don't have a mean bone in your body. Me, however-"
Belle shook her head.
"No, Regina," she interrupted, "You were so nice when we were kids. The kindest, despite the mother you had. Despite what you lived with every single day, keeping that secret. You wanted nothing but the best for the people around you. She ruined that. She killed it when she-"
"Don't," Regina begged, though it came out barely above a whisper. She retrieved her hand, swallowing hard.
Belle immediately clammed up.
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that."
"It's okay. I don't want to discuss it though."
"Of course. I'm sorry," Belle said sincerely. "I won't bring it up again."
"Thank you."
The women sat in silence, Regina trying to sort through her thoughts and Belle hoping desperately that she hadn't ruined the friendship they'd just so recently re-established.
"A lot of time has passed. I've been to years of therapy. It's still…" Regina didn't know how to complete the sentence, so she didn't. She didn't have to though, because Belle understood.
"I know. Well, as much as I can."
Regina gave her a faint smile.
"Shall we speak of something lighter?"
Belle nodded.
"Sure. What about your birthday? It's coming up. Do you have plans?"
"In a way. Emma and I were going to have dinner and cake at the house with Henry. He'd wanted to throw a party but that's the last thing I want. Which reminds me, I need to speak to him." He hadn't brought up her party in weeks and she'd about forgotten about it.
"Well, if you're inviting friends, don't forget my invite."
Regina snorted.
"I don't have any friends, Belle. Except you."
"You know… That isn't true, Regina. There are a lot of us who would have really liked to get close to you, but it felt like you didn't want us to. It's hard to get close to someone who lashes out at you all the time."
"No offense, but it's hard to let people close to you when all they do is gossip about you."
"That's fair," Belle conceded. "But everyone talks about everyone. It's a small town, Regina. There's not much that happens here. It's not an excuse but it happens to all of us. You think I don't know about the whispers surrounding Rumple and I? I'm well aware of what's said around here about us. Your return, yes, sparked a lot of old discussions to come up again and I can't imagine how that felt. But then all that settled down eventually… but you never came around the way I'd always hoped you would."
"I despise gossip, Belle. You know that. I hate when people discuss things that are directly about me behind my back."
Belle nodded. She did know that. Cora had fuelled a lot of gossip about her own daughter her entire life and Regina had hated every moment of it.
"You're right. And I should have done more to stop it. People are curious and nosy and they have nothing better to do so they talk about the people around them. And when you got angry and lashed out, well, it just gave them more to talk about. Not that I'm blaming you," Belle quickly added, "because I understand."
"I didn't want to give them more to gossip about, which is why I stayed away. However, the ones who talked about me behind my back, they deserved to hear how I felt about it. They deserved every bit of anger."
Belle shrugged. She didn't disagree with that. She wasn't as brave as Regina though. She usually just hid away at the library when she heard people talking about her. It wasn't worth her energy. However, there were times she'd gotten angry enough that she would speak up, but those times were few and far between.
"I understand why you did it. Why you got angry and secluded yourself. I hide in the library too. Sometimes the hiding adds fuel to the fire though because then people make up their own stories and come up with their own answers and suddenly the truth has been replaced by some fantastic lie."
"I don't owe anyone the truth."
"No, you're right. I guess I just meant in general. Like with Rumple and I. People talk about the age difference between us. They're convinced he must have groomed me and they say that I'm just some dumb, naïve little girl. They believe I'm being taken advantage of by an older man." Belle shook her head, looking at her hands before looking back up at Regina. "Sometimes I can't help myself. I've argued back against some of the rumours about us. People quiet fairly quickly when I tell them I seduced him and he does what I say, not the other way around."
Regina chuckled, she and Belle sharing a conspiratorial grin.
Belle was soft spoken, until she wasn't. She was often mistaken for someone without a backbone. It was true that Belle hated confrontation, but she could be just as feisty as Regina when she wanted to be. Sometimes even more so.
"I've no doubt," Regina said, grinning. "How are you two doing anyway?"
Belle smiled then, thinking of the man.
"Really well. He's kinder to me than anyone has ever been in my life. He's sweet, although I know it's hard to believe. He's rough around the edges, and I know he can come off as rude and uncouth to others. But, it's that he just doesn't put on an act for anyone. If he doesn't like you, he isn't shy about showing it. He's been good for me in that regard, encouraging me to stand up for myself more. Sometimes he'll provoke a silly debate just so he can get me riled up, and then he smiles and tells me he's proud of me for speaking my mind," Belle shook her head, grinning. "Sneak."
Regina could hear the affection in her voice.
"He's good to you though?"
Belle nodded, her face betraying the affection she felt for him.
"I could not ask for a better man. He treats me so differently than he treats everyone else. He's playful and kind and thoughtful. He'll draw me a bath when I'm on my way home or rub my feet when I'm tired. He wakes up early to make me breakfast, stocks the fridge with snacks he knows I like. He's just so gentle and caring and respectful. And he thinks of me all the time. This morning he snuck into the library and put a vase of flowers for me on the counter, with a note that said just because. If I've had a long day, he'll read to me and put on silly voices because he knows it'll make me laugh. He'd move the stars and the moon for me if I asked him to."
Regina smiled then, really smiled. Belle looked so happy. She'd never have guessed the grumpy old man she'd known as Storybrooke's pawn broker to be like this. It was true what Belle said: the man was gruff. Hard. Unwelcoming to others. But to hear her describe him, he sounded like an entirely different man when they were alone. Not unlike Regina herself, she mused. The real her came out in the safety of her home, with Henry and Emma. Perhaps she and Rumple were more similar than she had noticed. Or cared to admit, for that matter.
"I'm happy for you, Belle," Regina said sincerely. "You deserve this."
"Thank you. As do you, Regina. I'm sure Emma is lovely to you as well?"
Regina grinned at her, nodding.
"Yes. She is. It's been a long while since anyone's treated me the way she does."
"I'm looking forward to hearing about your second date. If she makes you smile like that even before it, I can just imagine what you'll look like after."
Regina gave a small laugh.
"Speaking of which, I really should be getting ready. I wanted to tell you before it happened. I wasn't sure you'd forgive me if I went on two dates and didn't tell you."
"Never," Belle said teasingly.
Regina chuckled, gathering her coat. The two women got ready to brave the cold, saying goodbye to Ruby as they headed out of the diner. They walked together until they reached Belle's home, saying goodbye with a promise to meet up again soon. Regina walked the rest of the way home alone, thinking about her date that evening. She was excited, and when she finally got into the house, she quickly made her way upstairs to get ready.
Emma parked the car, biting her lip nervously as she reached over and grabbed the bouquet of flowers she'd brought for Regina. She didn't know if it was too much, or too predictably cheesy, but she wanted Regina to feel special, courted, and so she'd stopped along the way. She'd spent an obscene amount of time roaming up and down the aisles of the flower shop for the perfect flowers, creating her own bouquet rather than choosing one of the ones already put together because go big or go home. She was sure the ones she chose probably didn't make sense together, maybe the ones already there had a special meaning, but she'd chosen based on what she thought Regina would like, had thought about the woman with every flower she'd chosen, and she thought that that had to count for something.
She made her way up the stairs, taking a deep breath as she walked up to the door and rang the doorbell. She hid the flowers behind her back, her breath catching in her throat the second the door opened.
"Emma," Regina said, grinning the moment her eyes fell upon her date. She took a step back and allowed Emma to enter the house, thoroughly enjoying the way the woman's eyes were glued to her body.
"You look-" Emma faltered, her brain unable to come up with an adequate word. "I can't even describe how fucking amazing you look."
Regina smiled, looking down at the low cut, burgundy coloured dress that clung to her waist and hips, flaring out at the thighs and stopping at her knees. She wanted Emma's eyes on her tonight (not that they were ever off of her, mind you), and she knew this dress would do the trick. She'd curled her hair, smiling when she saw Emma's eyes rake over her hair and her face, settling on her lips for several seconds, before looking back up into her eyes.
"Your make up is flawless. Seriously. I'm sorry I'm not better at this but God damn. You look phenomenal."
Emma took a step forward to give Regina a hug, stopping suddenly as she remembered the flowers behind her back when she felt them brush against her body.
"Oh, uh, these are for you," she offered, feeling a little shy. "I hope they're okay."
"Oh, Emma. They're beautiful. Thank you."
Regina smiled widely at her, eyes sparkling with joy, making Emma feel like yeah, okay, maybe she'd done well picking them up. Her stomach fluttered with happiness at Regina's expression, at the way she was looking at her. It was incredible to see her like this, so unguarded and happy, when once upon a time, she had hated Emma with such passion that it would radiate off of her. Now, things could not be any more different. Regina was leaning towards Emma as she looked down, fingers tracing over petals, a pleased grin on her lips, and Emma wanted nothing more than to reach out and pull Regina into her arms and never let go. The best part of it was, Emma was sure Regina wouldn't mind in the least.
"Will you follow me into the kitchen while I put these in water, then we can get going?" Regina asked, pulling Emma from her thoughts.
"Sure."
Emma entered the house and took off her coat, her eyes raking up and down Regina's backside as they stepped inside. The dress hugged Regina's body in a way that was hypnotic, and Emma was powerless to resist as her gaze stayed stuck on Regina's unbelievably sexy ass. She watched - no, stared as Regina walked towards the kitchen, Emma's mouth going dry as she stood transfixed at the way the fabric clung to Regina's curves as she moved.
"I can feel you staring," Regina called over her shoulder.
Rather than feel embarrassed, Emma laughed. She hung up her coat and quickly headed to the kitchen, her own pleased smile forming on her lips when she caught Regina pause mid-snip the second she walked into the room.
"Emma," Regina breathed, eyes looking the other woman up and down appreciatively. "You look stunning."
Emma smiled shyly.
"Thanks."
She'd chosen a pair of khaki coloured dress pants with a black belt, paired with a white long sleeved blouse she'd rolled to her elbows, topped with a button down vest. She did think she looked good; she felt good, at the very least. And she loved the way Regina was currently looking at her. She especially liked the way Regina's cheeks were suddenly pink, eyes raking up and down Emma's body.
"I may not be able to concentrate on anything else," Regina admitted, putting down the bouquet and the scissors, walking over to Emma. She traced her fingers along the seam of the vest, looking up at her date. "You look incredible in this outfit."
"I was hoping you'd like it."
"Everyone's eyes will be on you," Regina said, her palms running up and over Emma's collarbone bone, coming to rest at her shoulders, before sliding back down to rest on her biceps.
"The only one whose eyes I want on me is you."
"Believe me, that won't be a problem."
"Good," Emma replied, pulling the other woman in her arms. "You smell incredible."
"Thank you. I bought a perfume I thought you might like."
Emma leaned in, breathing in the smell more closely, lips hovering just inches from Regina's neck.
"You were right," she said softly. "It's really nice."
Regina swallowed hard, heart rate increasing slightly as she felt the heat of Emma's breath against her skin. Emma shifted and tucked Regina under her chin, pulling her closer as they embraced. They stood in the kitchen simply holding one another, Emma running her hands slowly up and down Regina's back, gently swaying her in her arms. She turned her head after a few minutes, pressing soft kisses to the woman's shoulder.
"Can't believe you agreed to this. You're way out of my league."
Regina pulled back looking into Emma's eyes.
"I am not, Emma Swan, and if you speak ill of my date again, I'll flay you alive."
Emma laughed, dropping her arms when Regina took a step back and returned to her flowers.
"Yes, ma'am."
She stood against the side of the island, simply enjoying watching Regina work. She loved the way Regina moved, loved watching her graceful hands as they slowly sliced at the stem of each flower. Emma's eyes moved with Regina, staying fixated on her ass the second she turned to the cupboard, reaching for a vase. She missed the smirk on Regina's face when she turned back after having retrieved said vase, too busy looking up and down Regina's bare legs, eyes captivated by painted toes.
Regina was not normally one to allow herself to be so openly gawked at, but this was Emma, and she found that she didn't mind her gaze. In fact, she actually liked her attention. Wanted it, even. It was why she'd chosen this outfit after all. She thought Emma might like it and she was very correct as it turned out. It made her feel good, attractive, to know that Emma couldn't keep her eyes off of her. So she moved slowly, taking a far longer time preparing the flowers than she'd normally have, feeling the stirrings of arousal the longer Emma's eyes stayed on her body.
It had been a long time since that feeling had been caused by someone else. Normally, that feeling was stirred by one of the romantic novels she was reading, her libido responding to any number of love-making scene in whatever story she happened to be reading. But this, this was different. Stronger, stirring lower in her belly and settling deep between her thighs. She'd put on the compression shorts she'd purchased recently, tucking herself in tightly, just in case. But Emma was distracting her, causing parts of her to stir with interest, and Regina needed to move this date out of the house before her underwear became uncomfortably tight.
"Alright, I've finished. Ready to go?"
Emma snapped out of her reverie, seriously hoping that Regina hadn't noticed the way she'd completely zoned out and been staring at her gorgeous body. She didn't seem to, blessedly, so Emma quietly followed her out of the kitchen and down the hall to the main entrance.
The women dressed in silence, Emma opening the door for Regina and waiting as the other woman locked the door once they'd exited the house. She took Regina's hand as they walked to the car, opening the door for her and helping her in. It was silly, probably. Regina was perfectly able to get into the car herself. But it felt nice, treating her like this. And the smile on Regina's face told her that maybe she was enjoying it too.
"Where are we going?"
"It's a surprise. I hope you like it. If not, it's okay. We can head to another place."
"I'm sure whatever you've chosen is perfect, Emma."
The confidence Regina had in her made Emma's insides clench in happiness. She blindly reached her hand over, smiling when she felt soft fingers intertwine with her own and come to rest on Regina's lap.
Emma listened closely as Regina began to tell her about her week, about the progress she was making with her students, about the excitement she felt as they were all slowly improving their vocabulary with each day that passed. Emma couldn't help but grin in response to hearing Regina's enthusiasm as she recounted the story of having overheard little Emily sing a Spanish lullaby to one of the dolls during free play.
"It wasn't even a song we had practised much. But she remembered the words and she sang them to her baby," Regina said proudly.
"You're a fantastic teacher," Emma complimented in response. "I'm not surprised she remembered it. You're really good at engaging them."
Regina smiled, pleased at her words.
"Thank you."
They pulled into the restaurant, Emma warning Regina not to open her own door. It caused an eye roll, but Regina appreciated the chivalry regardless. It had been a very long time since she'd been courted.
Regina happily held Emma's hand as they approached the restaurant, biting her lip as she felt the other woman's eyes yet again raking over her body as she removed her coat when they were brought to their table.
"I know I said it before, but you look fucking amazing."
"The feeling is quite mutual, dear."
They shared a smile before pouring over their menus, Regina taking an absurdly long time to choose her meal, grateful for Emma's infinite patience. After they placed their orders, Emma stared at her happily.
"You're not hard to please, are you?" Regina teased.
"I've been told I have very 'golden retriever' energy."
Regina laughed.
"Fitting."
"I'm not that complicated," Emma shrugged. "A little, I guess. Sometimes. I'm pretty simple though, and once you get to know me, I'm not hard to please, no."
"No, you're not," Regina repeated in agreement. "You are, however, far from simple."
"You think so?"
Regina nodded her head decisively.
"Yes. There are many layers to you, Emma Swan. You hide behind your humour. There's a depth to you that you keep hidden from the world. One that I hope to, one day, be privileged enough to see regularly."
Emma smiled down at her glass, twirling it gently.
"You already do see it."
Regina nodded again, she did know that.
"I'd like to see more of it. You know, it was Granny who pointed it out to me, your walls. She sees through them as well."
That revelation caused Emma to look up.
"What?"
Regina smiled calmly at her.
"Does that bother you?"
"No," Emma finally said, though it did unnerve her a little bit. "When did you guys talk about this?"
"The second time you dragged me to the cafeteria. Remember when she wouldn't give you lunch until you brought me back?" Regina asked, waiting until Emma nodded. "She pulled me in the back to have a talk. She told me we were more alike than I thought. At the time, I didn't believe her. But now, now I see what she means."
They both had walls, fortresses, around themselves, around their hearts. It was just that their walls manifested in different ways. Emma pondered her words for a moment, taking a sip of water before responding.
"What did she say, exactly?"
"That you use humour as a wall. As a way to separate yourself from people. And that I use my anger and the fact that I'm mean to keep people away. She told me that I needed to stop letting other people control me and that I needed to let you be my friend."
Emma smiled at that, letting the words wash over her.
"She's a wise woman. Didn't realise she was watching so closely, not like that anyway."
"Does it bother you?"
"It's a little disconcerting that she sees so much. Also freaks me out that she read me like that 'cause it makes me wonder who else does."
"I understand. Do you agree with her then, that you use humour as a defense mechanism?" Regina was in agreement with Granny, but she wanted to hear Emma's opinion.
"Yeah," Emma finally admitted. "I do use humour to deflect."
Regina's insides warmed with Emma's honest reply, knowing how hard it was for her to open up because she herself found it unbelievably difficult to do the same. Emma was trusting her with this admission, so she reached across the table, intertwining their fingers, and squeezing in thanks. She hoped Emma felt the safety she tried to offer with the contact.
"Does that bother you?" Emma asked quietly.
Regina could see the insecurity on Emma's face, hear it in her voice, so she rubbed her thumb across the back of Emma's hand.
"No. I understand why you do it. And I love your humour. You make me laugh more often than anyone has in a very long time. Or possibly ever. I do love when you're honest with me though, even if you choose to do it through humour. I don't care. As long as you tell me the truth."
"I've been more honest with you than I have with anyone in longer than I can remember."
Regina's stomach fluttered. It felt unbelievably nice to know that Emma trusted her enough to be honest with her. She squeezed her hand in response, holding Emma's gaze. Their food arrived a moment later, the women pulling apart and making room for their plates.
Regina looking down into her mushroom risotto with anticipation. She then looked up at Emma, who eyed her lobster mac and cheese with such delight that Regina couldn't help chuckling. She loved the way Emma loved food.
"What?" Emma asked, grin forming at Regina's laugh.
"You're adorable. Bon appétit."
Emma's heart skipped a beat at Regina's admission. She bit her lip, the women sharing a smile before they dug into their meals.
Dinner went by quickly after that, far more quickly than Emma would have ever expected. Or wanted. Their conversation stayed light, talking about their dinners, exchanging bites (though Emma wasn't as keen on mushrooms), discussing plans for the next day.
And then suddenly they'd finished dinner, and Emma was helping Regina with her jacket, ushering her out with a hand at the small of her back. Regina leaned into her, enjoying the feel of the other woman so close, accepting the hand that helped her get into the car. They drove slowly back to Storybrooke, and as they passed the welcome sign, Regina turned to Emma.
"Park at Mary Margaret's and walk home with me," Regina implored, impulsivity pushing her to speak. "Stay with me tonight, at the house."
Emma nearly drove the car into the ditch.
"What?!"
"Stay the night at the house with me, Emma. Henry is with my parents and I'm not ready for our evening to end. I'd like to wake up with you tomorrow morning. I'd like to share a coffee over breakfast."
Regina wasn't sure where her boldness had suddenly come from, but she found that it was the truth. She wasn't ready to end the evening and she wanted Emma there in the morning with her. Her desire to spend more time with Emma far outweighed her anxiety, so Regina spoke without censoring her thoughts. They were working on being honest anyway. And, that was the honest truth. She wanted Emma with her tonight.
Emma went quiet, too quiet, and with each passing minute, Regina's anxiety grew. Doubts began to creep in, and just as quickly, she began back peddling.
"Unless, of course, you'd rather not. It's alright. It was presumptuous of me to ask and I know it's only our second date and I'm not usually-"
"It's not that I don't want to," Emma interjected, shifting in her seat as she tried to phrase her thoughts. She wanted to be delicate about this. "But I don't think we're ready for the next step, Regina. I really like you, and I want to take this slow. Not that I don't want to, eventually, because you're beautiful and I'm like, really attracted to you, but I don't think you're ready just yet, and it's probably best if I wait too. I don't want to mess things up with you by moving too quickly."
And then it dawned on Regina.
"Oh, heavens no, Emma. I meant- I meant just spend the night. Not- not more," Regina suddenly felt flustered, cheeks slowly turning red. "That's not what I meant."
Regina realised how stupid she must sound but she really hadn't realised what she'd been implying until she played the words over in her mind. God, she was terrible at this. It had been far too long since she'd been in a relationship, since she'd done any of this. She felt like a teenager.
Regina took a deep breath and tried again.
"I'm not ready, you're correct. I wasn't inviting you over to do more than simply talk tonight and fall asleep… in my bed or in the guest bedroom. Wherever you'd like. I wasn't inviting you over for more, I swear it. Plus, we… there's an important conversation we need to have before any of that… happens. And it's possible that afterwards, you may not want to."
She was blushing now, looking out the window. Idiot.
"I don't think I won't want to, Regina. But that's a moot point right now. We're not ready for that step yet."
Emma looked over at Regina, at the way she was beet red with embarrassment, refusing to look her way. It softened something in Emma – the way Regina was so prone to doing lately. The affection Emma felt for her was incredible.
"So, just to chat and sleep?" Emma confirmed, looking back at the road.
"Yes, but now I feel as though I should take it all back."
"Why?"
"Because it sounds as though I was coming onto you."
"I know you weren't. But even if you were, would that be so bad?" Emma said, small smile tugging on her lips as she attempted to lighten the mood.
Regina looked over at her, her expression serious.
"If it makes you uncomfortable, then yes. It would be very bad. I would never, ever want to make you uncomfortable. I should have phrased it differently, Emma. I'm sorry."
"I wasn't uncomfortable per se," Emma started, then paused when she saw Regina's skeptical look. "Okay, yeah. Maybe a little, but mostly because I wasn't sure how to tell you the truth that I don't think you're ready. I didn't want to upset you. And I didn't want you to feel rejected, but I'm pretty sure you're not ready for more yet. And you've alluded, a few times, to the fact that there's something important I need to know about you."
"There is."
"Okay. So I want to have that conversation, too, first. I don't want you to do anything you aren't ready for, Regina, but I also don't want it to seem like I'm being controlling or telling you what to do. The truth is, I'd also like to take things slowly with you for me too, because it's been nice to get to know you like this. To go slow and not rush things. I really like you, Regina, and I just- I didn't want you to feel disappointed if and when we do, you know, that."
"I never want the fear of disappointing me to keep you from telling the truth. I will always want the truth from you, Emma. Even if that truth involves rejecting me. But you're right about my not being ready for more yet. And you're right about there being something important that we need to discuss first.
"Thank you for taking that to heart and for listening to me. Thank you for respecting me, Emma. It's… You've no idea what that means to me."
Emma smiled shyly.
"I respect the hell out of you, Regina. I'll always listen to you. I'm just grateful you took it well."
"That should be the expectation, Emma."
"Hasn't always been the experience though."
Regina couldn't argue that. Instead, she reached over and placed her hand on Emma's thigh, the woman dropping one hand from the steering wheel and intertwining their fingers.
"Is this okay?" Regina asked, and Emma was quick to nod. "I always want you to be truthful. And I promise to tell you if I need a minute, in case the truth is upsetting to me, alright?"
Emma nodded again.
"I've never raised my voice at my partner. I've never become violent. I know it seems as though that would be something I would do, given the way I've treated some people in the past. Given the way I've already yelled at you in the past, as well. But, things were different between us then. I would never do that to you now, Emma. That, I can promise you."
Emma squeezed her hand, pulling into Mary Margaret's driveway and parking the car. She took a few moments before glancing over at Regina.
"I don't see you as a violent person, not anymore. It's just, there's been some violence in my past that has made me scared to be honest, that's made me worry about people's reactions. I know I'm a people pleaser, maybe because of the violence, and definitely because of the upbringing. I know though that in order for this to work, I have to be honest. I just… I need patience. I'm trying."
"And I recognise that you are, Emma. And I'm grateful for it."
Emma looked at her, gratefully, before bringing her hand up to her lips and pressing a soft kiss there.
"Thank you. I think I'll take advantage of being here to grab a few things since I'm spending the night. I might change really quickly, too."
Regina smiled.
"That's why I suggested stopping here first."
"You're nothing if not brilliant. Do you wanna come in?"
Regina hesitated before shaking her head. She really did not want to see Emma's roommate.
"Okay. I'll be quick."
Regina stepped out of the car as well, leaning against the closed door and staring up at the sky. She hid her hands in her pocket, admiring the way the stars shone in the darkness. She didn't love winter, but she did love the way the moon and stars lit up in the winter in a way they didn't in the summer. She closed her eyes and breathed deeply, enjoying the crisp evening air, a smile touching her lips as the cool breeze washed over her face. Yes. She really did love evenings like this.
Regina stood there until she heard a door close, her head dropping at the noise. Her gaze connected with Emma's, whose eyes were squinty from the sizable grin on her face. The woman stalked forward, dropping her bag next to Regina, wrapping her in a warm, tight embrace.
"God, you're beautiful. Do you know how good you look there, against my car, just being fucking adorable and staring up at the sky?"
Regina smiled into her neck, hiding her cold nose in her throat. She said nothing, simply nuzzling in closer as she leaned into Emma's arms. She loved the way Emma held her.
"Ready to go?" Emma finally asked, reluctant to pull away but concerned for Regina's well-being. It was cold this evening. "Are you sure you don't want me to drive to your place?"
"I'm not ashamed of you, Emma, but this is a small town and I do teach here. I'd like to keep rumours to a minimum."
Not all of their students resided in Storybrooke. Most, in fact, were bussed from neighbouring small towns, but still. The point remained. Regina didn't want Emma's car to be seen in her driveway overnight, not yet anyway. There would be a time for that.
"I get that," Emma responded, not the least bit offended. She was a teacher too, and should probably take some care for her own reputation.
Emma reached down for her bag, as well as Regina's hand, before leading the way.
"You were very quick. I hope you didn't forget underwear."
Emma grinned at Regina's teasing. She considered making a salacious comment, but given their earlier conversation, she decided to stick to a safe response.
"No one was home, so things went quick. Mary Margaret rarely is home nowadays. Ten bucks says she's with your neighbour."
Regina rolled her eyes.
"Yes. They've been spending quite a lot of time together."
"Wonder when they're going to announce it finally."
Regina hummed in response, not particularly interested in musing about that particular woman's love life. Or anything else about her really. She was happy that Emma liked her, happy that Emma had found a friend in her, but that was the extent of her desire to associate the word 'happy' to 'Mary Margaret'. Unless it was something like, happy to push the woman down a flight of stairs.
Regina snorted.
Damn it.
She hadn't meant to do that.
"Want to share with the class?"
"Not really."
"Were you thinking unkind things about Mary Margaret?"
Regina cursed how well Emma knew her. Before she could respond, however, Emma spoke again.
"Will I ever find out what happened between you two?"
"She hasn't told you? I'm surprised. The woman couldn't keep her mouth shut if her life depended on it." Or anyone else's for that matter, and that, Regina knew from experience.
"She hasn't. She just told me that whatever happened between you guys was her fault. She feels really bad, whatever it is."
That caused Regina to pause in her tracks.
"Surprised to hear that?"
Regina didn't respond right away, too busy thinking. She had gotten the impression that Mary Margaret may have felt some remorse over the years, given that she'd offered Regina a job without a second thought when Regina had returned to Storybrooke ten years earlier, even though the school hadn't really been in need of teachers at that time. She had barely interviewed her. She'd simply called Regina's references and then hired her.
From then on, pretty well anything Regina asked for (which was rarely anything, as Regina was loathe to even look at the woman, let alone ask for anything), she received. Mary Margaret was always eager to please when it came to Regina. She did tend to leave her alone though, and she gave her a wide berth, something for which Regina was glad.
"She never accepts blame for anything," Regina finally said, resuming their walk. "She thinks she's perfect. Faultless."
Emma looked at her for a moment.
"She doesn't, though." Emma knew that for a fact. Mary Margaret had blamed herself for the animosity between her and Regina, for example.
Regina waved her hand in response.
"I don't want to discuss her."
"Okay."
The rest of the walk was quiet, and when they entered Regina's home, the women divested themselves of their winter gear and went off to separate rooms to change into their pyjamas.
Emma couldn't stop playing the conversation over in her head, upset at herself for ruining the end of their date. She knew there was tension between the two women. She had heard that they hated each other (though it seemed mostly like Regina hated Mary Margaret and Mary Margaret just kept away from Regina. Maybe out of fear? Maybe just out of guilt? Maybe due to something else?) and she knew that there was bad blood between them. She shouldn't have brought this up when the evening was supposed to be about getting to know Regina.
She made her way to the living room and sat down, curling up on the couch while she waited for Regina. The woman joined her a few minutes later, two cups of hot chocolate in her hand.
"It's just the instant kind, but I thought you might like it all the same."
Emma took the drink gratefully but placed it on the table before her, guilt churning in her belly.
"I'm sorry for bringing her up earlier. I know you guys don't like each other. I shouldn't have. And I'm sorry for bringing it up just now. But I wanted to apologise."
Regina sighed into her mug, grabbing the little spoon she'd placed in it and stirring the drink around to buy herself time.
"There is a lot of history between Mary Margaret and I. Far more than anyone else here in Storybrooke. I'm unable to be objective when it comes to her. I don't like her. I've no use for her. I respect her only as my boss because I'm obligated to and even then, I'm not very good at it. I know she's your roommate, your friend, and I try to be cognizant of that. For you though, Emma, not for her. I'll tolerate her for you, but I can't like her. I won't. And I can't see that ever changing." Regina was positive she'd never like Mary Margaret, but she felt guilty saying something so decisively unfavourable about someone she knew Emma cared about. She hoped the way she phrased it sound less cruel than the words currently floating in her mind.
Emma nodded, though it was difficult to hear. Mary Margaret did mean a lot to her, so it was hard to hear how much Regina really didn't like her. But she knew there was a story there that she was missing. They had their own history, a far more negative one, which clearly differed from the one Emma shared with Mary Margaret.
"Are you okay?" Regina asked softly.
"Yeah. It's hard, you know, to know that two people I care about hate each other this way. But I get that you guys have your own history and that's caused this rift between you two."
Regina stayed quiet, observing the way Emma was hesitating, chewing on her bottom lip.
"What is it?" Regina finally asked.
"It's going to change the way I see her, isn't it? When you finally tell me what happened."
Regina didn't bother pretending to not understand. She did, however, try to think of a way to soften her response.
"I don't know, Emma. It might." And because she cared about Emma, and not because she was defending Mary Margaret, she added, "She was young. We both were. It would be worth bearing that in mind."
Emma nodded, but she couldn't help the sick feeling in her stomach. She liked Mary Margaret, and the idea that she did something really awful, to Regina of all people, it didn't sit well with her.
Regina placed her mug on the coffee table before shifting on the couch, unable to keep away any longer. She could see the emotions playing across Emma's face, and so she tugged the woman into her arms, sighing contently when she went willingly. Regina smoothed her palm up and down Emma's arm, shoulder, cheek. She kissed the top of her head and kept her lips pressed there for a few seconds before turning her head to lay her cheek there.
"I love when you touch me."
Regina smiled softly.
"That is good news because I love to touch you."
"You're so gentle."
"Don't tell anyone."
Emma chuckled, turning her head to bury her face in Regina's chest, squeezing her around the middle.
"I love it here," she mumbled against her sternum. "You smell nice."
Regina shifted back a little to get more comfortable. She then raked her fingers through Emma's hair, smiling contently, simply enjoying the feel of Emma in her arms.
"I had a lovely time with you tonight."
"Even though I ruined the evening by talking about things I definitely shouldn't have?"
Regina tugged at the roots of Emma's hair in reprimand.
"I want you to discuss anything that comes to mind, Emma. I don't want you to worry about bringing something to my attention."
Emma squeezed her again, affection flowing over her in waves. God, she liked Regina so much.
"Thank you."
Regina kissed her head in response, the women cuddling in silence for long moments before Emma finally interrupted, suggesting a movie. Regina agreed, the two moving to the corner of the sectional so that they could cuddle more easily. Regina handed Emma the remote as she truly did not care what they watched, because she planned on spending the rest of the evening touching and cuddling Emma. And she did, and Regina loved every single second of it.
And when they moved upstairs, Regina led the way into her bedroom (with Emma's permission), where the two women curled up next to each other, facing one another, their intertwined fingers resting comfortably between them as they slept.