Chapter 4 – Beyond the Veil of Tomorrow

A few times in past years, Jacob felt lonely and lost. His most recent and disconcerting had been the delayed postpartum depression of his mother just a short while after her recovery. It had been a blow to his spirit which had risen so steeply after the amazing discovery that Catherine had been alive and semi-comatose for almost two decades. Despite having his mother turn inward with a depression he barely understood, Jacob weathered that storm with help from his father and now wife Cathy, but the remembered pain lingered below the surface of his being. The birth of his adorable daughter also brought similar changes to Cathy and the first weeks, postpartum, had been challenging but soon resolved.

Deep in thought, Jacob found himself stepping back into old habits on the first day after his new boss started. He realized that he was experiencing discomfort working so closely with someone who just seemed less than honest. Jacob avoided any in-depth discussion with Ziggy. They had to work together, and their partnership meant a lot. Somehow Jacob could not bring himself to find one thing to like about his new boss and refused to do any etheric searching to check into her past. Such a past, if found wanting, could make his relationship with her even more tenuous. He could discover events or behaviours that were totally out of character, but really, he thought, what was her character?

The sound of her name and the mental spelling of it were soon replaced by the correct version. Porscha Mansfeld! The correction in both names was unusual but in New York, not that different. The large metropolitan city was built by immigrants from all over the world. Her looks seemed to be typical of many Latinos, but her height belied the full accounting. She was poised, confident and quite startling, with a beauty that didn't fit the cold, business-like demeanour. What Jacob needed was another point of view, but his needs were on hold while plans went steadily ahead on the Broadway show, created by Hélène, her team in New York, and support from Phillippe in California. Primary on that team was his wife who managed to get up and tend to their daughter Ashlyn, work at the Women's center for a few hours then meet up with her grandmother to continue working on the production.

As he walked past the places he knew so well on the street, his heart sank with that feeling of abandonment which he could never quite settle within himself. Jacob knew it was childlike and inappropriate. He chided himself with words that seemed to freeze an already cold heart. 'The world does not revolve around you alone!'

Rather than run from the unwanted thoughts Jacob pushed himself to face the truth of his own character flaws. It brought little comfort beyond the idea that he was a big boy, a man who needed to stop being needy. As he picked up his pace, he suddenly felt lighter, almost at peace. Ahead was a restaurant where he and Cathy used to meet often. Visions of their spaghetti meals or piles of macaroni and cheese platters reminded him to pick up something before going into the tunnels for his work with the underground community. Memories flooded his system and seemed to pull him in regardless of the self-appointed tasks waiting for him below.

His footsteps halted, almost beyond any rational reasoning. Jacob looked inside and then mounted the two steps up to the entrance. His heart beat out an unusual tattoo before the rationale for his unpredictable change made sense. Seated at their favourite booth was his beautiful wife, looking almost the same as she had years ago. A big smile lit her face.

'Bout time you got here.'

'KitCat, you do know how to bring me up when I feel down' he said quietly leaning over to plant a kiss on her cheek.

'Maybe I need you to pick me up. All I know is that I missed you and I am happy that you are here without me having to call or text you.'

Jacob felt reassured by the mental and emotional ties which seemed to hold firm. He could have gone home or below by many routes but chose instead to walk that old route almost without any prompting or self-questioning, except the loneliness that ate away at his being.

He did not worry about their daughter. Cathy always made sure Aislyn was in safe hands, but Cathy shared some early morning anecdotes about their daughter that brought smiles to Jacob's face between the big mouthfuls of their favourite spaghetti and meat sauce.

'We are actually taking a little break today. Mèmé has to meet Howard for some fancy-do uptown so the team is working on other legal issues to keep the process moving forward. I realized that these past few weeks, I missed meeting and talking with you…. just me and you' she added as a clarifying afterthought. I should not have agreed to give up…. this alone time between us during the rehearsals.'

Jacob felt gratified by the honest recognition and smiled sending a loving look at his wife.

'Anything exciting happening with your new boss?' Cathy immediately felt the withdrawal. She said nothing else, waiting patiently for Jacob to find a way to express any misgivings.

'To be honest KitCat, I can't make head or tail of her. She is wound as tight as a drum. She is smart, knowledgeable, and poised, but there is a frostiness in her demeanour that just makes her unlikeable.'

'You don't have to like your boss, you know.'

'I do have to respect her.'

'She has to earn that. It is not given freely. Let's face it, Oats wasn't exactly a charmer either.'

Jacob laughed. 'And we are not going to talk about male vs female bosses, are we?'

Cathy smiled that sweet smile of hers. It was soon replaced by a frown. 'Is she interfering in your work or schedule?'

Jacob gave some thought to the question before replying. 'Oats made it clear to her, what my role was going forward. No changes to my schedule although adding work would be fine. I doubt that she took it well. Everyone has been called into her office for a personal interview, except me. Truly KitCat I want to stay clear of any confrontations with her.'

'I get the sense that you may be considering leaving, but what you do there matters a lot. She might just feel that you are too good to be true. I know I do!' she added with a saucy wink, before finishing off her last meatball.

At the end of the meal, both were in good spirits and decided to continue their routine of walking home and looking in store windows, while discussing other issues. True to her word, Cathy did not bring up any more information about the Broadway production and instead spoke of day-to-day issues which would bring them both back to earth. For a while, they were both able to set aside the complications of their unusual lives and just enjoy being two young people.

They had not been expected home for dinner, but on their arrival, Catherine gave every expectation that she had things to discuss with Cathy. For once, the young mother declined to be pulled into talk about the play. 'Mom, I promised this evening to Jacob so that we could catch up. If it isn't urgent, can we do it tomorrow instead?'

Catherine understood the needs of the still-young couple, nodded, smiled, and went back to the kitchen to talk with Sue. Aislyn was still in the tunnels with Vincent. Jacob and Cathy would have lots of time to do whatever they wished.

It wasn't a time for intense lovemaking. Both had a deep curiosity about the woman who could make Jacob feel such discomfort. 'I am going to do some research on my computer,' Cathy said. Go and sit and chill out. If I find anything, I will call you."

In fact, Jacob was grateful for his wife's computer skills and her ability to access knowledge from many sources. She had been doing searches for years and helped solve many problems for the community she served above and below. I guess I am just lucky, Jacob thought. He had seen the same skill set with Ziggy at the office. Rather than bemoan his less-than-brilliant computer skills, he realized that the gifts of both Cathy and Ziggy were meant to support him in different ways.

Comforted in that knowledge and feeling more relaxed than he had in a long time, Jacob dozed off, not to be awakened by his wife with a handful of papers downloaded from the computer, but this delightful daughter back from her time below. Aislyn had lots to show and share with her sleepy dad. From her corner of the door, Cathy watched with a smile of delight, seeing her husband and daughter laugh and talk and catch up in their own special way.

Cathy had been feeling changes in Jacob for some time. She knew and understood that change was difficult for him. Being raised below in the comfort of a daily routine, sheltered from the best and worst of people, gave him a sense of safety. When she thought about his life in contrast to hers there was really no comparison. Rather than dwell on the past she steeled herself to just watch and enjoy the delightful interaction between father and daughter, something that was not part of her early childhood. The information she had garnered from the computer could wait until Aislyn was settled in bed and they were alone again.

That night, as Cathy and Jacob lay together in bed, she rattled off a long list of events generated by her computer search. The most striking was her astonishing records from schools attended, high marks in every course and a graduate degree with honours from a prestigious law school. It was as if she couldn't make one mistake.

On the downside, there was a family horror story which left Jacob stunned. 'So has there been any follow-up on the causes of death or the capture of anyone responsible?'

'No nothing. Both cases are now cold, of course, but can you imagine how someone with a history like that could have survived and carried on reaching the heights of her profession? I don't know what to make of it.' Cathy let out a long sigh.

'I can see why she is bitter and uptight, maybe unfeeling, but if I had to open myself up and allow the chance for healing to take place, the pain preceding and following such a process would scare the crap out of me!'

'Me too! I have seen a lot in my life but at least at the end of their lives, my parents lived together in a weird kind of loving, inter-dependant relationship 'til Freddie's death then Mom. If I had to work with Ms. Mansfeld on a recovery program, I wouldn't know where to begin'.

'Is it something you would do…. I mean work with her if she ever wanted such a thing?'

Despite her already busy life, the social worker in Cathy was almost entranced by the possibility of working with someone like Porsha Mansfeld. The idea of bringing her past back to life so she could let go and move into a better frame of mind was such an exciting challenge but one that would require time, information and indeed, a need to solve the mystery behind the unusual death of two sets of parents. Cathy was tempted but knew that her life, at present, was too full to devote much time to researching records. On the other hand, Jacob had easy access to her past with a touch, but it still wouldn't include events that took place outside of her memory.

'I know what you are thinking KitCat. I sense every fibre of your being seeking answers and solutions".

'Haven't you thought about it too? I know that her impact on your day-to-day, even after such a short time has been quite profound!'

'I don't know if I would go that far but yes. I have steered clear of any contact simply because I don't want to see, what I don't want to see'.

'Hmmm. How about if I came down to your office one day soon? I am not coming to see her, I am coming to see Oats, my mentor and congratulate him on his promotion. He can be the one to introduce me to her, not you. Are you going to be out of the office any day this week?'

Jacob let out a long sigh. He already knew that his wife loved a challenge. This one more so because it impacted him. 'Probably Thursday' he sighed.

In her mind, Cathy had already begun working on a tentative plan. Rehearsals for the week were on hold due to some legal matters that needed to be settled. She worked out a way to visit her former boss who, she hoped would be available and perhaps slip in a chance meeting with this woman and her remarkable, well-hidden past.

Despite the initial joy of spending the afternoon and evening with his busy wife and having her soothe his unease, the challenge going forward added a bit of excitement to the days ahead. He had no idea of the end result. Only Holly could see that far into the future but the chance to do a little sleuthing on the side seemed to wake up a flagging energy which Jacob couldn't hide. It only took a minute for his wife to respond in kind. In time they would have a plan that would hopefully hurt no one and simultaneously bring healing to a very troubled soul.