So…been a while eh? Yes I'm Canadian… ANYWAY I'm sort of out of a beta right now, so I'm really sorry for any and all mistakes you see ! I will find someone else soon..hopefully..but I just wanted to get a chapter up since its been so long ! Now enough of me rambling, I'm sure no one actually reads my little excerpts anyway ! SO ENJOY.
Disclaimer: I still don't own Ouran.
…..Chapter Nine….
I'm tentative about opening up to the twins like this, but I'm hoping that maybe it'll turn out well. With my track record I guess I shouldn't hold my breath. But being here, picking classes together, it's just so normal. And that's something I've been craving for a long time. Normalcy. So of course Tamaki-senpai has to come ruin the moment.
"You must return to your true form and live happily with your girlfriends, that's my wish as your father!" He declared.
I really don't know what his obsession with this father thing is, but I certainly didn't need him yelling in my face and telling me to go be a girl.
To be perfectly honest, it's easier being a boy, less complicated somehow. I mean, pretending to be a boy can get pretty complicated, but for the most part I'm okay with it.
I was simply going to let Tamaki-senpai's comment pass without acknowledging when Honey-senpai spoke up.
"It doesn't matter anyway, whens your class physical exam day? We can compare heights!" He said in that adorably naïve way of his.
"What's a physical exam?" I asked confused.
Honey-senpai always eager to please answered my question.
"It's when doctors and nurses come to the school to measure you and make sure your staying healthy."
"It's mostly a formality, seeing as how almost all of the students here have their own personal doctors at home." Kyouya-senpai added on.
"Oh…. well I guess I'll be found out then." I said struggling for an air of nonchalance.
This was what I wanted, wasn't it? To have an excuse like this to keep my distance. Already I felt sick to my stomach. But I couldn't let the boys know, it would be easier if everyone knew I was a girl. Then I could be left alone, and sink back into oblivion. I could pretend that the Host Club was nothing more than a dream.
The host club seemed to be in a panic. But the problem couldn't be addressed until later because we still had many guests.
As I was finishing up, I overheard Tamaki in the music room.
"Yes of course spring is the time for romance, Haruhi and I were just characters in a Romantic Comedy." He exclaimed.
"Then what about us?" The twins asked in a voice that was a cross between irritation and disbelief.
Me, I was trying not to burst into the room and shake Tamaki-senpai into understanding. He could be so naive sometimes. Of course we weren't in some stupid romantic comedy. If I was to classify my life as a movie drama it would be a tragedy. But of course Tamaki-senpai wouldn't realize that. He could be so oblivious sometimes.
"You're the gay members!" Tamaki proclaimed in answer to the twins question.
He thereby ordered them not to cross a certain line.
I knew that the twins would be less than thrilled with their classification, Tamaki-senpai should watch his back.
"Do you really understand this tono?" The twins asked seriously.
"If people understand Haruhi is a girl, then she can't be in the host club anymore." They finished in perfect synchronization.
I peeked into the door and saw Tamaki-senpai frozen in shock. Or stupidity.
"And she'll be cuter if she dresses in girl outfits!" Honey-senpai said happily.
He is just too cute, and innocent. I hope that the burdens of the world never have to affect him. I thought to myself.
"If what we heard is correct, she was pretty popular among guys at her old school." Kaoru said in a matter of fact voice.
I froze at that. How would they have known anything about me at my old school. It was true that a few guys had shown interest in me, but how could they possibly know that?
"According to the report at least once a month someone confessed to her." Hikaru added.
"Ah, tono will never be close to her." They both said together, cruel and mocking grins on their faces.
"Well we don't care, we are in the same class as her." They finished.
Tamaki looked devastated. It would have been comical had I not been so concerned with where they kept getting this information about me.
For a few minutes a stood there, frozen, pondering how they could've known personal things about my past like that. I figured now was as good a time as any to make my entrance, I didn't really need to hear anything more.
"Sorry I'm late." I said opening the door fully.
Kyouya-senpai looked at me trying to conceal a grin. Of course he had known I was eavesdropping. No one else seemed to catch on. Except maybe Mori-senpai, but he was always quiet and observant.
"So we have decided on formation A for operation, Haru-chan is a boy!" Tamaki-senpai yelled at the host club.
A chorus of "Yes Sir's" were heard, and I wondered how they had so quickly adopted this new attitude.
Now Tamaki came up to me,
"Don't worry Haruhi! We will protect your secret with all our might!" He said with passion.
"I never really tried to keep it a secret, but I guess if people figure it out I won't be able to finish my quota." I said.
I was thinking it over, and if I pulled out now it would be hard, but it would be easier than if this has to come abruptly down the road. As I was mulling it over, I heard Tamaki and Hikaru whispering furiously to each other.
"Commander she lacks the will big time!" That was Hikaru.
"What an uncooperative heroine she is." Said Tamaki-senpai.
I rolled my eyes, who said I needed to be protected, or saved. I was no heroine, and these boys were certainly not knights in shining armor. As much as I might wish they were.
But at the same time, there was no other conceivable way for me to pay off my debt. So maybe it was better to stay in.
Excuses, you know that you couldn't stand being separated from these boys now. The mocking voice in my head accused. I studiously ignored myself and tried to further rationalize my choice.
"Well it doesn't matter if she's willing," Said Tamaki-senpai.
"Haruhi will be staying in the host club."
He smiled at me, and gave a little wink. I felt myself going a little red. But I was thankful Tamaki-senpai had spoken up. Then I wouldn't have to contradict myself out loud. He surprised me sometimes, with his thoughtfulness.
No, I was surely over thinking things. It was just his personality to take charge and demand others follow.
Either way, I wasn't looking forward to whatever the Host Club had cooked up.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
The day of the physical exams came sooner than I had hoped. Growing up in Canada I had never heard of Physical Exams at school, we had free health care. But I guess this is just another one of the cultural shocks I have to deal with while in Japan.
I didn't sleep very well last night. But I suppose that's nothing new. I was nervous for the Physical exams.
Shortly after attendance a voice came over the speakers asking all Grade Tens to make their way to the nurse stations. My stomach fluttered with anticipation. I stole a glance at the twins, but they seemed perfectly calm.
A little too calm if you ask me. While I would never say so out loud, I hoped that any plan they had worked.
"So what sort of thing is this?" I asked the twins.
"It's just a regular check-up, I mean they don't switch medical stuff between the rich and the poor." Kaoru replied.
We opened the doors, and I was shocked by the chorused;
"WELCOME!" that was said by every nurse and doctor all smiling and happy.
It was disturbing, seeing so many people love their jobs that much.
No differences between the rich and poor. Ha. I should have known.
Every worker was very kind and polite, but I was seriously overwhelmed. Hikaru and Kaoru were being asked if their height could be measured. Naturally all of the girls had crowded around them.
"You both grew 1.5 cms this year" said the Nurse excitedly.
"Oh my, even your heights are congenial!" The girls swooned .
"…Is it really that surprising?" I said to myself. It killed me how airheaded some of them were.
Hikaru gave me a wicked grin, and I knew he had heard my sarcastic comment. I gave him a small grin back, ignoring the fluttering again in my stomach. I must have been more nervous than I thought for my turn.
All of the sudden I felt everyone's attention shift across the room. There was Mori-senpai and Honey-senpai dressed in medical outfits.
I knew letting Tamaki-senpai plan things had been a bad idea.
It was obvious to anyone that these boys were merely playing dress up. But loyal customers that those girls were, they didn't let Mori and Honey-senpai know their disguise wasn't working.
"So obvious…" I said to myself incredulously.
I was shaking my head when I saw Kyouya-senpai materialize beside me.
"They're the emergency crew." Kyouya-senpai said, implying that they were useless.
"What are you doing here?" I asked abruptly.
Kyouya-senpai's presence always made me a little jittery. It was probably still embarrassment from over the Christmas break. Things had gotten heated, and we had never really discussed it after that. It made me a bit nervous whenever it was just him and me, though I can't really explain it.
"I'm on the medical committee." He answered.
We stood their in a charged silence, overhearing one of the doctors sucking up to a student, telling her she should gain more weight.
"How can they tell her such a blatant lie?" I asked, confused that the doctors chose to be kind rather than helpful.
"It's trustees consideration." He said, not looking at me. I think he was about to say something else, but the twins showed up at that moment.
"Running the school is a business after all, and flattering the students is top priority." Said Kaoru.
"Most of the kids here have personal doctors at home, so this is just a formality anyway." Finished Hikaru.
At that moment, a scruffy looking doctor bumped into Kyouya-senpai.
"Scuse me," he said roughly.
Kyouya-senpai gave him an odd look, and then seemed to consider it unimportant.
"Looks like a quack." Said Hikaru. I had to fight not to laugh at this ridiculous insult.
"Fujioka-sama, Hitachiin-sama, would you please come here for auscultation and chest measurements?" Said a nurse kindly.
"Please use the dressing room for undressing," she finished.
I sweat broke out on my brow, this was the moment of truth. I wasn't ready. Whatever plan the boys had concocted I needed them to act, and fast.
"We don't really care," started Kaoru.
"Whether we have a dressing room or not," Hikaru finished for him.
Simultaneously they both took off their shirts right there. I'm embarrassed to say that like every other girl, I had some trouble looking away. I knew that they were attractive boys, but beneath their clothing they had a lean layer of muscle that added to their natural beauty.
The worst thing about it, was that they knew how attractive they were.
"I can't take it, I don't want anyone to touch your body, even if they are a doctor." Said Hikaru possessively.
"What are you talking about? We play doctor at home all the time.." replied Kaoru.
And that ruined their shirtless selves for me.
While all of the girls were swooning over the twins, Mori-senpai and Honey-senpai gathered me up and flung me into a dressing room.
None too gently might I add.
They pushed me in and I felt arms close around me.
I had to fight the urge to scream, being grabbed from behind like that brought back unwanted memories. But these hands were much gentler than the ones from my nightmares.
"I've waited for long my princess." A familiar voice breathed into my ear.
I turned slightly and knew before I even saw the face that it was Tamaki-senpai.
I was surprised and embarrassed, enough to find my legs give out beneath me as he let me go. I looked up at him, unsure of what to say.
"Tamaki-senpai?" I said slowly, as if coming out of a daze. It was weird this dizzying effect he was having on me.
"Your surprised face is cute as well," he said sweetly, "Wait for me here."
"What are you—" I started to say when he put a finger to my lips to silence me.
"It's alright, I'll protect you Haruhi." It was impossible to miss the sincerity in his gaze, and I found my heart ache with an unexpected emotion, one I hadn't felt in a long time.
I simply gazed up at him, unable to formulate coherent thought.
"Fujioka-sama are you ready?" Called out the nurse. Breaking me out of my trance slightly.
"Yes," said Tamaki-senpai, he stepped out, shirt unbuttoned with a dark haired wig on.
Any tenderness I had felt towards him evaporated.
What an idiot.
I peeked through the curtains and saw all the girls looking confused.
"Why Tamaki-senpai?"
"Is it some cosplay thing?" I heard many of the girls whispering.
"How tall you've grown recently." The nurse said, sarcasm evident in her voice.
I sagged against the wall, if this was their master plan, then I was doomed. I felt something like despair crawling seeping into my thoughts. What was I going to do? I didn't want to leave these boys, who infuriated me and made fun of me. But at the same time they were the only thing that could make me feel alive. I've been dead to the world for so long, and I can feel myself started to reemerge. Not as the same person, but without the boys I don't think I can do it.
"Haru-chan, they found out" Tamaki-senpai said. A pleading tone was evident.
I didn't say anything, so consumed was I with my despair. I did turn around to glare at him though. He seemed shocked, and as he stepped out I heard someone say,
"He's withering away!" It gave me a small satisfaction that after so long my glare still had such an effect.
The rest of the boys came in, very calm.
"We have a doctor who will keep quiet in the other room," said Kyouya-senpai.
"All the doctors here today are from Kyouya-senpai's family hospitals." Said the twins together.
I couldn't keep the relief from flooding to my face, and each of the boys grinned at me, even Kyouya-senpai. I felt light as a cloud as they took me to another room close by.
A lone nurse was sitting at a desk in the room.
"Don't worry, I've been informed of your situation, you may disrobe in the dressing room there." She said politely.
She probably thinks I'm some sort of cross-dresser.
Awesome.
I was reluctant to take my shirt off because of my very visible scar. I hated the sight of it, and knew that it wasn't very pretty for other people to look at either.
"There's nothing you can show me I haven't been prepped for." She said kindly.
Great so Kyouya-senpai even knows about my scar, of course. I suppose it would have been my medical records, but just knowing he knew about it made me self-conscious.
"Okay," I said trying to force out a smile. I think it came out as more of a grimace.
I took my time, and was nearly undressed when a strange man starting tip-toeing into my dressing room.
"Erm…I'm here already." I said awkwardly.
He turned around and I was ready to shriek when he started whispering furiously. I should have been scared, but I sensed no sinister purpose beneath his pleading eyes.
"NO, please don't make any sound, I just want to find my—" I never found out what he was going to say.
"USA-CHAN KICK!" Honey-senpai yelled as he burst in, kicking the poor man and knocking him over.
I hastily grabbed my tank top to cover myself up, unaware that it was not properly put on. So distracted was I by the appearance of the rest of the host club.
"First, beauty that catches peoples attention." Said the twins, as serious as I had ever seen them.
"Second, unbeatable richness." Continued Kyouya-senpai, equally serious.
"Third, the way to be a gentlemen, and not overlook the crimes of lowly commoners." Finished Mori-senpai. And while he was always serious, I sensed a hidden menace beneath all of their words.
"Even if the sun forgives you," said Tamaki-senpai dropping his shirt on top of me,
"THESE CHERRY BLOSSOMS WON'T!" He proclaimed in that self-righteous way of his.
It was all a little melodramatic for me, but I should have expected as much.
He was referring to the cherry blossoms tattooed onto his shoulder, I think.
"The Ouran Host Club, is here." They all finished together, striking a group pose.
"Please don't hurt me!" The doctor pleaded, bowing down to the host club.
And here I thought they couldn't surprise me anymore…
The doctor proceeded to give us his life story. How his wife left him with their daughter after he had bankrupted them with his practice, and he was only trying to find her, and ask their forgiveness. He thought that this was her school. Tamaki-senpai, still shirtless, was utterly enthralled with this mans story.
"Might the school your looking for be Ourin Koukou?" Asked Kyouya-senpai gently.
"Isn't that where I am?" The doctor asked confused. No wonder he went bankrupt, he was clearly not the brightest.
"How did you know?" Asked the twins to Kyouya-senpai.
"How could the daughter of that small a doctor come to Ouran?" he said with all the snobbery that came with immense wealth. "Am I right?" he said.
I didn't know what to say to that, it was so cold, and yet true.
The poor man seemed devastated.
"Hikaru, Kaoru, draw up a map for this man to Ourin please." Tamaki-senpai said seriously.
"His daughter probably left him too," they said in that cruel joking manner of theirs.
He turned around abruptly and said, "That's for him to find out." I had never seen Tamaki-senpai so genuine before.
"I'll pray for your best," he said to the man, handing him the map.
I was speechless, and not for the first time today. He could be so kind sometimes. It was hard to take my eyes off of him, and not just because his finely sculpted torso was still on display.
"I've done something good," he said with a tear in his eye.
"Do you think I looked good?" he said turning to me,
"You said before that you were the most spring-ish, is that why?" I gestured to the cherry blossoms along his shoulder and arm.
"Well yes, although its just a sticker.." he said cautiously, thinking I was still angry at him.
I couldn't help myself, I laughed.
"I guess it is pretty spring-ish." I said through my laughter. He could be so cute sometimes, even if he was an idiot.
Tamaki-senpai seemed to be staring at me. I stopped abruptly once I realized what he had been staring at. My scar. The tank-top I had hastily put on had ridden up to expose a part of my scar. Stretching from my right hip to my left upper rib, it was an ugly thing.
Not done with precision, not a clean cut, but something more jagged and rough. Something that even time could never cover up. It was no ordinary scar, and Tamaki-senpai seemed to know that.
"Haruhi.." he began unsurely.
I hastily yanked my tank top down.
"Don't." I said quietly, emotion threatened to break me down.
Shit. I had hoped no one would have to ever see it, I was ashamed of it. What happened that caused me to get it. I had thought that this opening up was a good thing, but now it had made me vulnerable, I didn't want them to know what happened. I couldn't stand it. All of the barely concealed pity and sympathy I know I would receive.
The rest of the host club sensed the tension and looked over at the two of us. Tamaki-senpai opened his mouth to say something, but I didn't wait to find out what.
"Don't." I said harshly. Tamaki-senpai looked like a wounded puppy.
I didn't wait to see anything more, I grabbed my uniform, threw it on, and strode out of the room, not looking back.
I tried to fight back the tears, surely Kyouya-senpai would tell them all now? I can't face that, I don't want to have to face that. I walked even more quickly now, because I knew that I was in for an emotional breakdown.
Why me? It was the question I could never seem to answer. Why me? WHY ME? I wanted to scream out to the world. How was this fair? Why did I have to deal with it all? I stumbled into an empty supply closet and cried.
Cried about all the shitty things that had happened in my life. Cried for all I had lost. I cried, and cried.
TAMAKIS POV
I was shocked at Haruhi's startling anger at my seeing her scar. Why was she so angry? And how did she get it? I was so confused, and apparently Haruhi wasn't going to clarify anything for me. How could my poor daughter keep something like this from me?
I knew that a wound like that couldn't have been self inflicted, I hadn't even seen all of it and I could tell it was long and rough. I was overcome with rage.
I wanted to kill whoever had done that to her. Kill them.
But seeing the vulnerability in those beautiful brown eyes made me stay put. I knew she didn't want me to follow, that much was obvious. And I knew she didn't want me to tell the host club what I had seen. And it wasn't just the scar, I had never noticed before how painfully skinny she was.
That's a part of why her scar stood out so much. She was so pale, and so stretched out. I just wanted to comfort her. I mean, comfort her as a father should of course.
Everyone thinks I'm so stupid, and yes, I guess the plan that I had today wasn't that great. But I know enough to know that she's hiding something. And this scar is just a piece of it.
I just want to go to her and tell her it's going to be alright, comfort her like a father should. But I won't, I can't. Not unless I want her to pull away forever.
But I'm scared for her, and I don't know what to do.
I looked over at Kyouya-senpai, and he looked distraught. He clearly knew something too. I had never seen him so worried over someone else's well being.
All of us made an unspoken agreement, we wouldn't go after her. Not right now, because the same unanswerable question remained.
How can you save somebody that doesn't want to be saved?
So again, I'm sorry for how long its been, but this was a nice long one for ya'll ! PLEASE REVIEW. It makes me happy ! :) and happy ggirl will update sooner…love you all, hope you enjoyed.