I AM SO, SO, SO, SO SORRY! I literally could not make myself write this chapter. But don't you worry the next chapter is already being edited, and I will post it in two weeks ! I really hope that you guys are all still with me, and that you aren't disappointed ! REVIEW, let me know what you think ! Also if you are curious about any parts from different peoples perspectives I will definitely write it just as a little aside !
VERY IMPORTANT MESSAGE :
At one point in the story I will be posting a youtube link to the song that Tamaki is playing, PLEASE CLICK IT. It is a beautiful and perfect song both in life, and in the scene I was writing. So yeah. Sorry about my rant, and sorry about taking forever. Please enjoy 3
Chapter 11
I was falling into a sort of rhythm with the host club. They didn't pry about my life, and I didn't reveal anything more to them. Even so, I felt happier, sometimes I even thought about how I would explain everything to them; then I thought about what I had to explain and my mood plummeted.
And yet, they were always there for me. Quick with a smile, or different charming antics, it almost made school feel like a safe place; I am pleasantly floating in this bubble with the host club. Yet for all of my newfound peace, I am still dreading the day that the bubble will pop.
Until then, I'll just enjoy it.
It seemed like just another regular day with the host club, albeit a regular day meant being decked out in Arabian garb, with lavish decorations surrounding us. But much to all of our surprise a young boy walked in.
He seemed completely shell-shocked and I couldn't help but sympathize with him, every day was like a new surprise with these boys.
"Are you the king?" the boy asked.
Tamaki-senpai looked ecstatic to actually be called king.
"I am junior sections grade 5 class A's Takaouji Shirou! And I would like to apply as the host club king's apprentice" he said forcefully.
Tamaki-senpai of course accepted, and proceeded to show him just how he treated each of his customers.
He really was in fine form today,
"When you're in front of me my heart beats so quickly. As if I am a youth tasting love for the first time…" he said huskily, pulling his girl of the moment close.
It astonished me every day how much he would lavish girls with his compliments as easily as he gave away his smiles.
It made me wonder if there would ever be a girl to capture his heart so completely that he found himself unable to look at anyone but her with those adorable, naïve blue eyes of his. As I was mulling this thought over I noticed how closely his new apprentice was situated to him and this girl.
Freakishly close, in fact.
I felt Kyouya-senpai come up beside me, and I couldn't help but say,
"Learning from such close observation, isn't it distracting?" I was a little weirded out by it to be honest.
"He was preaching that close-up observations could reflect more of his beauty. " Kyouya-senpai said.
"Of course he was." I said rolling my eyes.
Kyouya-senpai shot me a sardonic looking smile, and I couldn't keep a small answering smile from forming.
It was strange, that everyone thought Kyouya-senpai so cold. I mean, I could understand why they thought so, but when you got past that icy exterior, and somewhat icy interior, you could find this blazing ball of passion.
Now I personally have only ever seen this once, when he was so mad at me that he let his rage loose.
But since then I am always able to see just a glimmer of that fire smoldering in his eyes, even when he's showing his cool side. So it sort of throws me every time I see him acting so calculated, because I know that he isn't always like that.
I was distracted by my musings of Kyouya-senpai when I heard Tamaki's apprentice speak up, and quite rudely too.
"I would never use such blatant flattery; I mean she's more like the crucian carp in my garden's pond."
And with those lovely words the girl ran off crying.
Everything is so dramatic here…
"Nice little brother you've got there Tono." Hikaru chimed in sarcastically.
"Hikaru you'd prefer a brother like him better?" Kaoru said in his whiny child's voice.
Hikaru grabbed his brother by the face and said "Idiot, even if I searched the world no one could ever compare to you."
I was sorely tempted to just continue to roll my eyes; they really are too much sometimes.
But it's the same with the twins as with Kyouya-senpai, they put on this persona only to have their eyes reveal themselves. Those mischievous golden brown eyes always have a type of reserve in them. Playing all the jokes that they do and keeping up this brotherly love act that they have is their way of keeping their distance. I would like to think that they have let me farther in than most, which makes me happier than it should.
Tamaki's apprentice seemed properly disturbed by the incestuous display by the twins, I was glad to know that I wasn't the only one.
"Those people freaking you out a bit?" I asked.
He inspected me a little too closely for my liking and said, rather rudely
"Are you a transvestite?"
To my credit I didn't even blink, just laughed inwardly at his observation.
To my great amusement, Tamaki and the twins did their best to distract him from this current line of thought.
This boy proved himself to be a whole lot of trouble over the next hour. He was incredibly rude, managing to thoroughly piss off every member of the host club, myself excluded.
Eventually Tamaki-senpai became so fed up that he simply locked him in a cage that just happened to appear out of nowhere.
I swear you find the strangest things in this music room.
"I'm running out of time!" Shirou cried out desperately. "You are a genius right?! So teach me your ways." he pleaded.
At the word genius I knew that Tamaki-senpai was sold. He really could be a simpleton at times.
"Well it looks like you are serious then. Fine, I will help you." Said Tamaki-senpai, all earlier grievances apparently forgotten.
"Judging by your situation, I would say that you are the mischievous type." Tamaki senpai told Shirou.
He proceeded to explain what being the mischievous type entailed; wearing shorts, always appearing wounded, and acting tough.
"This is ridiculous! If you don't want to teach me seriously then forget it!" Shirou yelled running out of the room.
"I really thought he would like the mischievous type." Tamaki spoke, deadly serious.
"I don't know," I began "He said something about running out of time."
This mystery of Shirou had sufficiently piqued Tamaki-senpai's interest. And, of course, like all of his ridiculous schemes, I ended up dressed as a girl.
Although this time I wasn't the only one in costume, Honey-senpai and I were both in middle school uniforms so that we could sneak into Shirou's school. Tamaki senpai had explained it away as a necessity, but I'm pretty sure that's bullshit.
Wearing a girls uniform like this makes me feel uncomfortable. Not because I'm out of touch with my true gender, I very much identify as female. It's more that it brings back the days when I really did dress as a girl all the time. I used to love skirts and dresses, and feeling pretty. Not that I was obsessed with looks by any means. But it was something that used to make me feel good. Now it just reminds me of what used to be.
Hikaru's POV
She's so damn cute.
Looking around at the other boys I know that they think so too. How could you not?
I feel like we have finally made some progress with her. Real progress. I'm not always scared now that she's going to burst out into tears or run away from us.
Kaoru keeps cautioning me to give her space, let her come to us. I know that he's right, it's just hard, especially when she's looking so adorable.
One by one we all shuffled into the middle school classroom, disguises really weren't needed.
"I wonder if our graffiti on the desks is still here?" Kaoru asked as we shared a look, remembering all of the fun we had here together.
"No they change the desks every year." Kyouya replied in that know-it-all way of his.
"SHH!" Haruhi said, deadly serious.
The look on her face was absolutely precious. So precious that none of us said a word, lest we should disappoint her.
It was times like these that I found it hard to take my eyes of her, she was simply captivating.
Haruhi's POV
I hadn't actually expected all of the boys to shut up, but somehow they did; at least for a moment.
For some reason being in this middle school outfit was making me feel rather childish, I kind of liked it.
Middle school had been a lot of fun, back before my life had been so drastically altered. I used to flirt with all the boys, just because I could. It was sort of funny to think how silly and girly I had been, not realizing that there were more important things in life than what boys liked me or how I wore my hair. In all honesty though, I did quite miss my long hair. It had taken me years to grow it out, reaching just above my waist.
I fingered the wig I was currently wearing with a sigh, thinking back to the good old days as I now referred to them.
"Haruhi whatever happened to your hair?" Hikaru asked playfully.
"Yes I wondered that too, from the pictures we saw it used to be very long." Tamaki-senpai added, always ready to throw his two cents in.
I looked each one of them in the eye, knowing that they wouldn't really understand the truth. I may be growing closer to them, but I'm not ready to tell them everything.
"Gum got stuck in my hair, instead of trying to untangle it, I cut my hair." I said pleasantly.
Obviously I hadn't said it pleasantly enough, for each of the boys seemed dubious. Tamaki-senpai in particular looked very unconvinced. It looked as if he would press the matter further, but for once fate was on my side. Thankfully, we heard instruments being played and children laughing, distracting the boys from anything to do with me.
"Must be mandatory activity" Hikaru said with a smile, as if remembering being in this room.
"Look there's Shirou!" I said, spotting him in the room next door.
The scene we watched unfold before us made a lot of sense, given Shirou's disgust with Tamaki-senpai's ways.
He was sitting there alone, an expression of nonchalance on his face. Then a pretty little girl came up and asked him if he would like to play the piano with her. He gruffly declined her offer, much to the girl's dismay.
However, once she started playing, Shirou's face was transformed. It was then that we realized he was in love with the pretty little girl. He was simply too shy to express these feelings properly.
Tamaki-senpai dove right in there and charmed a little girl into revealing the story of the pretty little girl. Her name was Kamishiro Hina-chan, and her family would be moving to Germany in a week.
With this new information all of Shirou's worries made sense. He was in love with this girl, but in a state of anxiety due to her impending departure.
Suddenly, Shirou noticed all of us intruding in his classroom.
"What are you doing coming all the way here?!" He shouted.
Tamaki-senpai reacted strangely, his face completely unreadable. He merely picked Shirou up and began walking away with him.
"What are you doing you big idiot?" Shirou yelled, among other things.
"You're the one who's an idiot." Tamaki-senpai said, almost angrily.
"You come to us asking how to make girls happy, but you don't want to learn how to make girls happy. You want to make her happy. That is something only you can figure out."
Shirou looked utterly defeated as he said, "It doesn't matter anyway, I'm out of time. She asked me to play the piano with her. But it wasn't the piano I liked, it was her. It was the thought of playing with her."
He was filled with such heartbreak that I couldn't help but sympathize with him. It wouldn't help to mention to him his tender age, his heartbreak was real, no matter what his age.
To my great surprise Tamaki-senpai revealed a piano hidden in the host club's room. Noticing my surprise Hunny-senpai laughed.
"It is a music room Haru-chan." He said sweetly.
I laughed a little myself, but was startled into silence by the scene unfolding before my eyes.
Tamaki named the practice piece Shirou was to play, simply remarking on its simplicity. With that, he went about playing the entire two part Sonata.
It was beautifully executed. I had no idea Tamaki-senpai could play the piano, his fingers seemed to glide across the keyboard with such practiced grace I couldn't help but envy him. His golden hair fell just right above those stunning blue eyes and I couldn't help but stare. Stare at this perfect image of Tamaki-senpai, he seemed transformed as he played, more serious.
"From what I saw," Tamaki-senpai began, "It looked like she wanted to play with you."
The look of pure tenderness on his face made me catch my breath. It was easy to forget how handsome a boy he was when he was being so ridiculous. But now, it was all I could think about.
As Tamaki-senpai began teaching Shirou how to play, I was embarrassed to realize how long I had simply been staring at him. Tamaki-senpai briefly looked up at me, and I quickly averted my eyes.
Tamaki-senpai outlined a training schedule for Shirou that spanned the entire week. I would have stayed longer, but I had to get to work.
I made my way to work, almost dreading going in. I couldn't explain it, but lately I had been feeling uncomfortable about working at Kurosaki's. It was nothing concrete I could put my finger on, I just didn't feel safe. It kind of felt like my spidey senses were tingling. At first I thought it was Kokatsu, but he had been nothing but friendly towards me.
I finally arrived, and Kokatsu happened to be the first to greet me.
"Hey Haruhi, how was school?" He questioned amiably.
"It was fine, how was your day?" I replied.
"Excellent now." He said smiling, if you could even call it smiling. His eyes raked over me at this admission.
I almost jumped when Shigure tapped my shoulder, extending his own greetings. When I looked back at Kokatsu he was smiling normally, making me wonder what made me so completely nervous around him.
By closing time it was once again Shigure and I, even Kokatsu had retired for the night.
"How is everything going?" I asked.
Kokatsu was Shigure's half-brother; they had a complicated and messy family history. But essentially Kokatsu had to stay with Shigure because of some major trouble that their dad had gotten himself into.
"It's been kind of a weird transition," he admitted. "But he doesn't seem like a bad kid, a little bit introverted, but nice." he decided.
"Well I'm glad." I said.
"What do you think of him?" Shigure asked.
I didn't want to freak him out with my crazy mistrust of Kokatsu, I had nothing to base it off of.
"He's always been really nice to me." I said, forcing a smile.
Shigure seemed tired enough to buy this lie, and I prayed that I would shake off this unease I felt about Kokatsu soon. I left work feeling anxious, but also guilty for my anxiety. I vowed to make a better effort with Kokatsu, more for Shigure's sake than anything else.
I shook off unpleasant thoughts of work, and instead began to look forward to going to the host club. Seeing Tamaki-senpai working so hard with Shirou was heartwarming.
For the next week Tamaki-senpai spent all of his time practicing with Shirou, he was a relentless teacher, but in the end it paid off.
The music room was dressed with elaborate decorations, including each member of the host club donning a tuxedo for Shirou's big reveal. Kamishiro had received an invitation to the music room, where Shirou and a piano were waiting for her.
Both of them looked so happy, so beautiful in their blissful naivety.
It made my heart ache, to see these children so happy and in love. Unaware the ugliness the world had to offer. It felt right to have done such a good thing, even though I had really only witnessed it.
It made me miss my family, this awkward display of affection. The familiar pang in my heart alerted me to the tears that would soon begin to flow.
I quietly disengaged myself from the happy scene, opting to take a walk in the fresh air.
I let a few quiet tears slip. This was different from the bone crushing despair I often felt; it was more of a silent grieving. Acknowledgement of all I had lost.
I must have wandered around the school grounds the entire afternoon. But I knew I would need to return home eventually.
Reluctantly I made my way back to the music room so that I could gather my things, I assumed that the rest of the Host Club had gone home by now. I was grateful that they had all given me some distance today; it was exactly what I had needed.
Feeling sad, but steady, I opened the doors to the room. ( watch?v=F-4wUfZD6oc)
However, instead of being the only one in here, I heard a beautiful haunting melody being played.
I made my way over, as if in a trance.
I wasn't surprised to find Tamaki-senpai playing the piano.
The setting sun was basking him in a warm glow, making him truly look like a prince.
When he plays the piano he seems more open somehow, stripped away is the incredible narcissism and flamboyance. Instead what's left is the serious side of him, the man he might one day become.
I stayed for the entire song, letting the beauty of the music wash away the pain I had been feeling. If Tamaki-senpai saw me then he gave no indication, his violet blue eyes intensely focused.
I was mesmerized.
As the song drew to a close I felt a single tear slide down my face. Tamaki-senpai looked up at me, his expression still retaining the intensity from his playing.
"That was beautiful." I whispered, my breath catching slightly.
I didn't wish to speak too loudly and disrupt the magic that enveloped the room.
Tamaki-senpai walked over and ever so gently wiped the stray tear from my face. Even if I had wanted to, I knew that I couldn't look away from him.
"Haruhi," He began softly. "What really happened to your hair?"
I knew that he hadn't bought my gum explanation. And as much as I wanted to lie again, given our close proximity I just didn't have it in me.
"I couldn't stand it anymore."
"It was a reminder of my old life, everything I had lost. So in a fit of depression or hysteria or something, I just cut it all off."
It was scary making an admission like that, especially to Tamaki-senpai. I was frightened of the repercussions, already I began to feel tears forming behind my eyes.
"Thank you." Tamaki-senpai said simply and somehow I knew that he understood.
Instead of pressing the matter further he smiled sweetly, and backed away. This broke the spell he had unknowingly put me under, and I quickly gathered my things and left.
On my walk home, with the wind blowing all around me, I felt almost free. It's bewildering to have given this small piece of me to Tamaki-senpai.
I unlocked the door to my quaint little apartment and was immediately struck with the feeling that something was wrong; my heart starting beating wildly as I looked around for something amiss.
I didn't see anything, and almost laughed at my bizarre reaction. I felt a cold wind shudder through the apartment and quickly went to close the window.
That's when I realized it; I always left my windows closed.
Someone had been in my house.
I hope that you all enjoyed this ! PLEASE REVIEW. Also don't be mad it took so long ! 3 Next chapter coming up soon don't you lovely people worry !