I'm sure that no one even reads this story anymore, but I felt a renewed vigor to finally finish it! SO thanks to anyone who is still reading it from years past. Let me know what you think! ALSO I totally fucked up the names for Kurosaki's brother which a reviewer just pointed out how embarrassing...anyway its fixed now so sorry everybody!
Disclaimer: I do not own ouran
I awoke the next morning feeling utterly secure. Strong arms were enveloping me tightly, and in my half dreaming state I snuggled in closer. My hands were placed upon a firm, muscular chest. That was when it dawned on me. I was snuggling closer to Tamaki.
I jolted upright, embarrassed at my show of affection. However, it seemed that Tamaki-senpai was not yet awake. I took a moment to admire him while he couldn't tell.
He really was beautiful, a fact that never ceased to amaze me.
His fine blonde hair was messily splayed across the pillow, his cheekbones so defined as if an artist had carved them. Even in sleep the hint of a smile pulled at the corner of his mouth, making me smile in turn.
But his best feature is, without a doubt, his eyes. I've seen how disarming they are firsthand.
I've been staring at him for too long now, but I can't seem to bring myself to pull away. He was wonderful last night, so caring and compassionate. But I shouldn't have let him comfort me, and I certainly shouldn't have enjoyed it so much.
There's a shifting on the bed and his eyes flutter awake. He gives me an adorable, sleepy smile.
"How'd you sleep?" He asks gently.
"Better than usual." I replied softly.
"Are you okay?"
"As okay as I ever am, thank you."
I was aiming for a polite reserve, trying to distance myself slightly. I know that he sensed the change, for he quickly tried to get up in the process. However, this was the position the rest of the host club found us in.
I guess I'm just lucky that way.
"You sick bastard." Kaoru said, after a significant pause. He was joking, I think.
Tamaki scrambled off the bed quickly, his face blushing a furious red.
Honey-senpai helped me up, his young face smiling as if he knew something I did not.
"I-I didn't, I'm sorry!" Tamaki-senpai said, I couldn't tell if he meant this to me, or to the host club.
Hikaru's POV:
I wanted to hit Tamaki.
I knew it was irrational, but just seeing him lying in bed with Haruhi like that really pissed me off. Even more so once I saw that she had been crying.
Her eyes were a bloodshot red, no less beautiful in their imperfection.
My eyes flitted to the rumpled sheets, and the sheepish look on both of their faces. And I once again had to suppress the urge to hit Tamaki. It's clear they both slept in here last night.
Haruhi muttered something about getting changed and practically ran out of the room. The rest of us just looked at Tamaki.
"Nothing happened!" He yelled indignantly.
"Sure." Kaoru and I said in unison, with identical amounts of sarcasm.
We all knew that nothing had happened in any physical way. But something had definitely gone on emotionally, which didn't make me feel any better. It seemed like she was being open and vulnerable with everyone but me. First, something happened with her and Kyouya, and now Tamaki.
Is she willing to open up to everyone but me?
I could be there for her too, just as well as the calculated guy and the idiot she's chosen to confide in so far.
Kaoru gives me a look and I know he can tell what I'm thinking. I know that I'm being unfair, but I can't seem to help it. I just wish she would let us in all the way, instead of slowly allowing us to see only the bits and pieces of herself.
HARUHI'S POV
My heart was still racing from my mad dash to my room, anything to get away from the host club in that moment. In the light of day my confession felt embarrassing, and more than a little dramatic. But there's nothing I can do about it now.
So Tamaki-senpai knew. He knew that my family was dead. It's not like I went into any more detail, but just that small admission was a big deal for me. That on top of the vulnerability I had displayed in front of the rest of the boys at dinner had left me emotionally drained.
Yet I didn't feel as tired as I usually did, having Tamaki-senpai there all night had kept my nightmares at bay. As if they didn't stand a chance against his goodness, despite all his faults he had an undeniably kind heart.
It wasn't just because it was Tamaki-senpai; I think I would have felt just as safe and secure with any of the boys.
We can be your family now. Tamaki-senpai's words from last night kept running through my head, bringing an unbidden smile to my lips. They were like my family now, for better or worse. I was still wrapping my head around the fact that these amazing boys had decided to waste their time with me. But even though I hadn't always been very receptive, they were still here for me. I appreciated it, and I realized that I hadn't shown them that at all.
I knew that I couldn't stay in this room all day, so I changed into a slightly less girly ensemble of jean shorts and a tank top. My dress had been rumpled from sleeping in it, and I quickly shoved it into my bag.
I grabbed my bag and made my way in the general direction I thought the front of the house might be. Thankfully I turned out to be right, and joined the rest of the host club as they started loading the limo meant to take us home.
I received a wide variety of looks from each of the boys. Tamaki-senpai looked sheepish, Kyouya-senpai was doing his damnedest to be inscrutable but he didn't look pleased, Kaoru and Hikaru looked downright pissed, mostly Hikaru. Also maybe hurt, whereas Honey-senpai looked amused. Mori-senpai remained his impassivity as usual.
"Just for the record Tamaki-senpai and I did not have sex." I said casually.
They looked a little surprised at my bluntness, but I think they found it rather funny all the same. Except Tamaki-senpai, he looked embarrassed as hell.
Really, just because I had emotional issues doesn't mean I get embarrassed about things easily. Rather the opposite actually, what did I care about such trivialities such as sex when I had experienced much more dramatic situations.
I took a deep breath, preparing for what I was about to say next.
"We did, however, talk briefly about my family." I said quickly.
"Who happen to be dead" I finished as nonchalantly as I could, even though my heart was beating like crazy.
"Anyway, we should probably get going." I said flashing a pained smile in response to the stunned looks I was receiving.
I didn't think it was fair that they kept sticking by me when all I did was push them away. So I was making the effort, even though it scared the hell out of me.
Kyouya-senpai gave me a smile; he knew how hard it was for me to open up, it was nice to have his support. This wasn't nearly the entire story, but it was something.
Honey-senpai walked over without any of his usual show of cuteness and gave me a hug. This simple action brought tears to my eyes.
"Haru-chan we're here for you now." He said smiling through his own unshed tears.
It so similarly echoed Tamaki-senpai's statement that I knew it must be true.
This seemed to rouse the rest of the boys from their shock, Hikaru and Kaoru both came up to give me a hug and Mori-senpai gave me a gentle pat on the shoulder.
"We should probably get going," Kyouya-senpai said gently.
I shot him an appreciative glance, knowing that he was trying to help by diverting the tension from me ever so slightly. The rest of the boys followed suit and we piled back into the limo.
On the ride back there were no more heart wrenching confessions, just a sense of peace and belonging I had never thought I would feel again. No one tried to pry further into my past, they simply accepted what I had told them and moved on. I was incredibly grateful for that.
Gratitude notwithstanding I still felt the gnawing of guilt that never seemed to diminish no matter how good I felt. Yes my family was dead, but I hadn't told the host club the really awful part; that it was my fault.
I know they'd be the first to tell me I wasn't to blame, it wasn't my fault, I couldn't have known. But that's not true. I should have known, and because of my stupidity my entire family is dead.
The rest of the car ride passed in amicable silence. I think everyone was trying to process the events of the last 24 hours, I know I certainly was. I still don't think that I was wrong in trying to defend those girls, but I understand that the boys were just concerned about me. It's hard to wrap my head around; I came to Japan thinking I would be alone. I wanted to be alone. I've done nothing to encourage it, but somehow these boys have become my family. It scares the hell out of me, I know better than anyone how easy it is to lose everything.
The Monday back to school was another hectic day with the host club as usual. The most startling thing happened right before our host club activities were to start. I was late, as per usual, and I stumbled right into someone.
At first the suit made me think it was a man, but upon closer inspection I realized it was just a masculine looking girl.
"Be careful now darling, it wouldn't do to scar that pretty face." The stranger said sweetly.
She almost reminded of Tamaki-senpai in a weird way.
As I made my way into the music room, with the stranger by my side, I was greeted with knights in shining armor. Literally, the boys were wearing full suits of armor.
"If this world were to end, I would lay down my life for you, and protect you at all costs." Tamaki-senpai proclaimed lavishly.
He wasn't speaking to me specifically, rather to the horde of girls that had already assembled. However, there were three unfamiliar faces, one of which was the girl I had stumbled into outside.
"Leave it to men to believe that all a woman wants is for someone to lay down their life for them. As if that is some great accomplishment." One of the girls said.
"Oh Silver Bell, you can't blame men for being lower life forms that believe honour should be placed above all else. Their pretense of gallantry is just used to hide their own ineptitude in preserving their own life."
"Daisy, you are so smart!"
I couldn't help but laugh out loud, it was a pretty ridiculous sentiment, but one that I was growing accustomed to hanging out with the host club every day. The girls sent me a look of approval for finding humour in their discussion.
"If you are going to be together, then you should be together! And if you are going to die, then you should die together!" The girl beside me proclaimed.
"I would never you alone my darling," She said to me, getting down on one knee and kissing my hand gallantly.
"Oh Rose-sama you are so right!" The one called Silver Bell said
They proceeded to come up close to me, remarking upon my clear skin, how I was such a diamond in the rough. Rose claimed to have known I was a girl immediately, which surprised me since it seemed that no one at the school had bothered to figure it out. It was kind of nice to know I could still be taken for a girl, I may be trying to disguise myself as a boy but I had always thought of myself as quite a feminine sort of girl.
Naturally, Tamaki-senpai started to freak out at the attention these girls were paying me, and their public discussion of my gender. The girls just swatted him away, quite violently in fact and I wondered what in the hell I had unwittingly started.
The girls all introduced themselves, and claimed to be from St. Lobelia's Academy, an all girls' school. They started spouting ideas of feminism, which I am totally behind, despite my host club activities. But also many lesbian innuendoes were being thrown around. While I was all for equality, I personally knew that I was very much attracted to boys. Otherwise being in this host club wouldn't be so damn distracting sometimes, particularly as the boys liked to pick activities that left them partially nude.
They started dreamily listing off their "Zuka Club" activities, I figured the least I could do was go get them some coffee. Since I didn't really feel the need to listen to them rant.
I returned with the coffee and was received with many hugs and admiration about how sweet I was; honestly it was kind of reminiscent of my first few weeks with the host club, minus the incredibly debilitating depression. However, when they started talking about the host club they had my attention. They mentioned how the host club had no history, how Tamaki-senpai was a half blood, and how they were greedy. They enlisted for my immediate transfer to St. Lobelia's. I figured at this point I should step in.
"Look I think you've misunderstood some things, I mean its not like the club has no history."
"Actually," interjected Kaoru "The club only started two years ago when tono entered high school." He finished.
"And what's the issue with him being a half-blood?" I said shrugging it off. Obviously Tamaki-senpai was not fully Japenese with those beautiful bright eyes, and his fine blond hair.
"Well, I'm half Japanese and half French, there is a whole sordid tale as to my birth and upbringing I can tell you all about it!" He said in the overly dramatic way of his.
Still it took me by surprise, him talking about a sordid past, he seemed so light and carefree. It made me wonder if I could ever even be half that positive. Obviously our situations were very different, but you would never guess he had any dark secrets or family drama. I felt that my issues were written across my face, and certainly across the ugly scar marring my body.
I decided to take one more stab defending the host club before I called it quits.
"Well, at least they aren't these incredibly greedy people you're making them out to be." I said.
Given the sheepish looks on all the boys' faces I realized this must not be true after all. As it turns out, they sell things online for customers to buy. So every time in the last few months when my pens or notes have gone missing it was because the host club was auctioning them off. It kind of pissed me off that they would do that without asking. And not even that, but I had sort of been looking at them as these martyrs of human beings, for all the kindness they had shown me. Yet, they were still self-indulgent, rich brats. Exactly the kind of kids I hated, and while I know we all cared about each other, I figured a little lesson in humility was certainly in order.
"You know what, I'll think about it." I said, shooting a nasty look at the rest of the host club.
It was almost kind of fun, this immaturity. I almost felt like a kid again. Almost.
I decided to make my exit, after the Zuka Club promised to be back tomorrow.
HIKARUs POV
"There's no way she's serious." Kaoru said aloud, mirroring my thoughts exactly.
"I don't know guys, think about it. Haruhi doesn't mind wearing guys clothing, she doesn't mind flirting with girls, and she's actually pretty good at it. Maybe the Zuka Club is the right place for her, I mean who are we to stop her." Tamaki-senpai uttered morosely.
What if Tamaki was right? What if Haruhi wanted to be around girls, what if she liked girl better than guys. I felt myself slipping into something like despair at the thought of not seeing her anymore. But no, she wouldn't have let us in just to leave us again, would she?
I could see Kaoru trying to calm his own racing thoughts about the situation.
"I HAVE A PLAN!" Tamaki exclaimed in that incredibly obnoxious way of his. Although his plans were often borderline, if not outright ridiculous, I knew we had to try something.
I won't lose her. Not when she's finally come to trust us. Especially not to those St. Lobelia's bitches, they don't know her like we do, no matter what they say.
The thought of Haruhi liking girls wasn't something I wanted to even consider, then there would be no possibility. Wait, no. I don't need possibility with Haruhi, just her friendship. That's all.
HARUHI POV
I went to work that night still a little pissed at the boys, but ultimately satisfied with the shocked expressions on their faces at the thought of me leaving. Maybe it wasn't kind, to keep giving and taking with them. But surely they knew I wasn't serious? Spending time with them gave me so much relief. They were this wonderful, hilarious, soothing balm to the hurt that my life had become. The host club was becoming my only safe haven, as Shigure's felt less and less comfortable.
I knew it wasn't fair to him. Kokatsu had never done anything to make me feel like I couldn't trust him, but I he felt like such a snake to me and I couldn't shake the feeling that something wasn't quite right with him. As far as Shigure was concerned though I had no problem, things were hard enough for him as it was.
I was relieved to see that Kokatsu wasn't there when I arrived at work. I continued my shift as normal, enjoying the pleasant atmosphere that the restaurant had to offer. Shigure was working, looking mildly preoccupied. This was his constant state these days, he was still the same kind man I had grown to care for, but he seemed absent from his work.
We were closing the restaurant, just the two of us as per usual. Oftentimes we worked in silence, however, it was never uncomfortable. His presence was very calming.
"So how is everything Shigure?" I said, trying to instill as much meaning as I could into the simple sentence.
He gave me a weary smile.
"Honestly, I think that things are starting to be ok. At first I had no idea what I would do with Kokatsu, even what I should say to him. But he's a pretty quiet, shy kid. He just goes to school, helps out when I need him and is a pretty low maintenance guy in general. It's just so weird, having to put up a half brother I know virtually nothing about." He said, with his characteristic honesty.
"I'm sure the longer he is here the more he will feel comfortable enough to open up. You just have to give him time. Do you know how long he will be here?" I asked, trying not to sound too hopeful.
"It seems like it's going to be a permanent situation, at least until he turns eighteen next year." He said.
"Do you know what happened with your dad?" I asked.
I wasn't trying to pry into Shigure's personal life; I just thought he might like someone to confide in. He seemed to understand that.
"Kokatsu won't talk about it. All I know is that my father has not been deemed fit as a guardian, and I'm the closest relative that he's got."
"It's really great that you've stepped up to take care of him. A welcoming home is one of the most important things for recovering from a difficult past." I said, thinking of how much Shigure's and the host club had become my welcoming home.
"Know a lot about it, do you? Sometimes I don't know if I'm helping at all." He said wryly.
I gave him a small smile.
"I know that this place, and you, were there for me in some very difficult times. And that if you can even provide half the relief for Kokatsu that you did for me, then you are doing just fine."
I felt bad for Kokatsu, who knows what sort of difficult past he may have endured with his father. But I hope, given enough time with Shigure, he could become a good man.
Shigure was locking up for the night, he asked me if I could go run upstairs and grab a few things from storage. The storage was actually located right in his apartment; I had been there to get things many times before. I walked through his living room into the storage closet to grab the boxes that were needed downstairs. As I turned around to go back downstairs a large figure was blocking the doorway.
"Kokatsu! You scared me." I said, after I let out a small shriek of surprise.
My heart was beating like crazy.
Instead of backing out of the doorway, he moved in closer to me.
"Do you need help with those boxes?" He asked with a snake-like smile.
"Oh, I'm alright. Thank you though!" I said with as much cheery politeness as I could muster.
I tried to step around him; I barely managed to make it through the doorway since he wouldn't move.
"We should hangout sometime Haruhi, I really haven't met many people here and it would be nice to get out of this apartment." He said conversationally.
His words and smile should have been pleasant enough, but I was so thoroughly disturbed by his presence. I felt guilty knowing that he had been no trouble to Shigure. I probably just needed to get to know him a bit better so that he stopped being this elusive, creepy stranger to me.
"Maybe." I said, keeping a smile in place. "You, Shigure and I should all go out for a bite sometime or something. Anyway, I should really get going. It was nice to see you." I said, smile never wavering.
I thought I saw a flash of anger, or maybe hurt in his eyes. But either way he smiled and told me he hoped we could all work it out.
I left work a few minutes later, shaking. I just couldn't explain how deeply uncomfortable I felt around Kokatsu, so completely opposite from how I felt around Shigure. But I knew I had nothing to base this on, so I would keep it to myself. No need to trouble Shigure about my irrational fear of his half brother.
I had almost forgotten about the St. Lobelia's girls. But when I went to engage in my usual club activities I saw them waiting outside the door.
"Darling, we are here to take you away from these insufferable boys."
I felt kind of bad, having led them on a bit yesterday, but they were so over the top I think they will recover just fine.
As I went to open the door for music room number three I was struck by the most absurd sight I had ever witnessed in my months of host duty.
It was all the boys….in drag.
Kyouya-senpai and Mori-senpai remained in lavish suits. However, the rest of the boys had longhaired wigs, make up and ball gowns on.
"What the hell" I said, completely floored by the scene I was witnessing.
"Haruhi I've figured it out! Now if you stay in the host club you can have brothers and sisters!" Proclaimed Tamaki-senpai, no less dramatic in a dress than in a suit.
"Look haru-chan I'm a princess!" Honey-senpai laughed, twirling around me.
"You can call me big sister." He said adorably.
"Which one of the Hitachiin sisters is more attractive Haruhi?" Hikaru and Kaoru said in unison. Whipping lavish fans out around their faces.
"You don't think a maiden would ever be swayed by this ridiculous charade!" Rose said outraged.
This was too much. They were too much. I couldn't help it I started hysterically laughing.
I hadn't laughed like that in so long. Stomach hurting, tears streaming down my face at the hilarity of it all.
The boys all looked shocked. And who could blame them I had totally lost it. I went down to the ground clutching my stomach still unable to stop laughing. And my god it felt so good.
KAURO's POV
She was stunning.
I had never seen her look so happy. We had hoped that she would feel like we had a lot to offer her, like we could give her everything we needed. It was pretty ridiculous, as most of Tamaki's plans are, but it was so incredibly worth it to see her laugh.
I would wear a dress every single day if it meant she looked even half that amused.
A few minutes later she finally got a hold of herself, standing up wiping tears from her eyes. For once she was crying from laughter, not about the pain of losing her family. I still couldn't get over how happy it made me she was opening up parts of herself. She was actually laughing. I didn't know someone else's happiness, other than Hikaru's, could make me feel so fulfilled.
"I'm sorry to have led you on, but I never had any intention of leaving Ouran. I came to this school specifically to pursue my career, and I know that it's what my family would want of me." Haruhi started, looking so peacefully radiant. "I have goals that I have yet to accomplish here, and it wouldn't be right just to leave those, even if I do find some of your ideas interesting. And more than that…as ridiculous as these boys are, they are important to me." She finished, giving us a shy smile.
Pretty sure I was about to burst from happiness. I could see it mirrored on Hikaru's face. I felt so much admiration for this strong, wonderful girl. The Zuka Club immediately left, proclaiming about the travesty of it all. Good riddance.
"But why did you walk out so angrily yesterday if you had no intention of leaving?" Tamaki whined.
"Because sometimes bratty rich boys need to be taught a lesson in humility. Which it seems you've learned." She said, giggling again at the sight of us.
HARUHI POV
It was honestly kind of sweet that they had all dressed up like this to convince me to stay. I knew their hearts were in the right places. I felt so light, almost happy. But of course it couldn't last.
Kyouya-senpai came up to me with a cell phone in his hand looking very serious. "Here she is," He said morosely, handing me the phone.
"Hello?" I said cautiously.
No. It couldn't be.
"Haruhi Fujioka? I've been trying to reach you for weeks, we need you to come home."
Just a little cliffhanger because they are fun and I am the worst. Love you all. REVIEW...please.