I know, I know, I said three days at most and it's been four, well five probably by the time anyone's reading this. But hey, this one is a big one and I didn't start it until Friday, so I think I did pretty good.
Anyway, there will be a larger note and mailbox replies at the bottom.
Enjoy!
Gar's ears twitched.
Harsh whispers were drifting in from just outside the infirmary doors.
Slowly, he stretched and shifted in his chair, trying to find a more comfortable position. The whispers had woken him up from some much-needed yet hard-to-come-by sleep. As he tried to find a more sleep-friendly position in his sleep-induced haze, he overheard part of the conversation that had woken him up.
"We need to do a check up-"
"No!"
"Kori-"
"I have already told you, Richard, I am not having an exam until Raven awakens."
"Star please-"
"Richard for the last time, I do not want to be examined until-"
"She's not waking up!" Dick shouted.
Gar winced. Despite popular opinion, it took a lot for Dick to raise his voice, let alone shout, especially at Kori. For him to be this stressed and angry...they must have had this conversation several times already.
"She's not waking up..." Dick repeated, this time in a gentle whisper.
Gar cracked open one eye just in time to see Dick pull a distraught-looking Kori into his arms. Her muffled sobs accompanied her shaking shoulders as Dick gently stroked her hair in a comforting motion.
"Shhh...I know. I know." He paused, his effort to hold back his tears evident. "I know you don't want to do this without her, but we have to accept that this is the reality. And we need to check on you and the baby. Make sure everything's working like it's supposed to. Star, I'm worried." He whispered, his voice breaking.
Kori didn't reply, she just cried harder.
Feeling like an intruder on his friends' private moment, Gar shifted his attention to Raven. He couldn't imagine what his friends were going through. He had seen Dick during the two months the girls were missing. He had been sick with worry and terrified that they would never find them or be too late. On top of that, he had spent the whole time knowing that he was going to be a father which had only added to his sense of urgency, worry and fear.
The whole time Dick had agonized over missing out on Kori's pregnancy. Not being there for her, not being able to see his child on a sonogram, missing even the smallest of pregnancy symptoms and changes. What had terrified him the most was the thought that he might miss the whole thing, and never get to see his kid grow up.
And now the girls were home safe, and Kori was refusing any exams, including sonograms to check on the baby. All that time worrying and waiting in terrified agony, and now that they were here it made no difference. Dick still couldn't see his kid, know if it was healthy or not, or even hear its heartbeat.
Gar reached up and gently brushed a strand of Raven's hair out of her face and tucked it behind her ear. If it were him he knew that he would be a lot less calm about it than Dick was. If it were him, he would be going out of his mind.
"We need to move on..." He heard Dick whisper.
Gar bit his lip as tears of his own suddenly formed. He glanced at the large clock that Cyborg and put up on the wall. The red numbers seemed to glare down at him in the dark infirmary.
52:21
He turned back to the girl of his dreams and took her limp hand in his.
"Come on Rae..." He brought her hand to his lips and pressed a kiss to her cold skin. "Come back to us, please."
"So what now?"
Raven and Aliyah stood under the apple tree looking up into its branches.
"Now, you eat."
"What?" Raven asked, once again confused.
"Each apple holds a possible outcome for whatever choice you make. These," she motioned to the side of the tree that faced the shining light. "Are the possible outcomes if you die. And these," she motioned to the side of the tree that faced the darkness. "Are the possible outcomes if you live. The way you see them is by picking and taking a bite of an apple."
Raven bit her lip, studying the tree and the apples it held.
"I guess if I'm going to make an informed decision then I don't really have a choice, do I?"
Aliyah shrugged. "You have a choice. People always have a choice. It's just a matter of choosing to be informed or not."
Raven frowned at her.
"How do you do that?"
"Do what?"
"Sound like me and him at the same time?"
"Simple, I don't." Aliyah raised her brows and spread her arms out before her. "This is how you imagine any child of yours and his would sound."
"A combination between the two of us," Raven interjected.
"That does seem to be a natural, if not reasonable, outcome, yes."
Raven huffed and held out her hand.
"Fine, give me an apple."
"You have to pick the apple. These are the outcomes of your decision. In order for them to be accurate you have to be the one to pick the apple." Aliyah explained.
"Okay," Raven said through gritted teeth. "Fine. I'll pick one."
She reached for the closest apple that hung from a lower branch on the "death" side of the tree. As soon as she touched it her body grew cold and weak, as though simply touching the fruit brought her closer to death's door.
The apple itself was small, with shiny red skin and a brown stem, and felt light in her hand.
"Here goes nothing..."
Raven bit into the apple.
Voices carried through the room at a raised volume. She could almost swear that they were shouting.
Raven opened her eyes to see where she was.
It was like a dream.
She was lying in a hospital bed in the infirmary of the tower. She could tell that her physical eyes were closed, but somehow she could still see the room around her through a dark haze. It was like looking through a wall or a colored window.
Standing around the bed in the room was her team. Cyborg stood next to the machines on her right, while Kori stood at the foot of her bed. Nightwing and Changeling (who looked like he had been through a war zone) stood on the left side of her bed shouting at each other.
They were the ones arguing.
"...the Beast is unpredictable. Most of the time I can't control him, especially without Raven around, and after the past two months, you know that. So of course it's understandable that you wouldn't trust me with Kori since she has no powers and is currently at her weakest, most vulnerable state." Gar shrugged, looking casual, but there was a challenge in his voice, baiting Nightwing.
Raven tried to move, to open her mouth and tell Gar to shut up, that he was being stupid. What kind of idiot in his right mind dangled the team leader's pregnant girlfriend in front of him?
No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't move her limbs. Her eyes and mouth wouldn't open, her fingers and toes wouldn't move, and her arms and legs felt like they weighed a million pounds. She was trapped inside of her own body, a mere passenger along for the ride.
The team leader frowned, sensing the danger in his green teammate's words. Kori and Vic watched tensely, their eyes going back and forth between Dick and Gar. The tension in the room was palpable. Raven wanted to break it, to make a sarcastic comment, to tell Gar he was being stupid, or to tell Nightwing to back off, but she couldn't. It was a nightmare come to life.
She struggled again, trying to squirm or move in any little way. She thought she managed to twitch a toe, but she did not know for sure. Her whole body felt numb.
She was so focused on trying to move her body that she nearly missed when Gar started talking again.
"...without Raven around..." Gar trailed off, suddenly deflating. His ears drooped and his shoulders sagged. He instantly looked ten years older and like he was carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders.
"I admit, that does complicate things. You do tend to be more unpredictable and out of control when she isn't here." Nightwing sighed.
Raven tensed. She knew that the Beast still made her friends nervous, but she thought that at the very least they had moved past this kind of thinking.
Gar stood up straight. He gave his team leader a suspicious look.
"What do you mean, "that does complicate things"? Raven's here, she's alive, and she's not going anywhere. Right?" There was a dangerous edge in his voice.
Vic cleared his throat, giving Nightwing a pointed look.
"That uh, was actually what we were coming to talk to you about..." Nightwing rubbed the back of his neck and looked down not making eye contact with the changeling.
Raven stiffened. She had a pretty good idea of what was coming next. She knew Gar would NOT like it.
"Should I leave?" Kori asked taking a few steps toward the door.
"No Kori, it's actually good that you're here. You should hear this too." He sighed then took a deep breath before looking Gar directly in the eye. "Do you remember those directives we all made a few years ago? The ones for in case we were injured or killed in the line of duty?"
Raven gulped, her guess confirmed.
Gar nodded slowly, still watching Nightwing suspiciously. He looked like he did when he was hunting or angry in a fight. Coiled and ready to pounce.
"Yes..." He replied carefully. He edged closer to Raven's bed. Her heart did a strange fluttering in her chest, but dread ruined the feeling. Her stomach turned, knowing with absolute certainty that he was not going to take the next part well.
"Well, Raven's..." Vic began but Nightwing placed a hand on his arm stopping him. A silent exchange passed between the two, ending with Nightwing saying, "I'll tell him".
"Tell me what?" Gar demanded, practically snarling.
"Raven's directive instructed that if something ever happened, if she was ever injured so badly that it took her healing powers too long to kick in, to assume that they wouldn't ever and end whatever care or life support she was on. She didn't want to be hooked up to a bunch of machines if her soul was gone, and she always said that if her powers couldn't heal her then it was because her soul had already moved on." Nightwing explained.
"Okay..." Gar trailed off eyeing Nightwing and Vic. "How long?"
Nightwing and Vic exchanged a reluctant look as hope seemed to fill Gar's eyes.
"One week."
Raven winced. She knew that it was a shorter time than any of her friends, and it was definitely shorter than what Gar would have been expecting.
His knees gave out and he fell back into his chair. He gripped Raven's hand with one of his own, his other going to his chest.
Raven wanted to cry at the look on his face. She had expected him to become angry, or worse in denial. As one of the more optimistic and hopeful teammates, he had been particularly vocal about how everyone should give themselves as much time as possible. That they should all say for the others to do everything in their power to save them. It was his belief that with enough time and effort, everyone could be saved.
He had been very passionate in his speech, which was why Raven hadn't told him what she had actually put down. She just couldn't do it, she didn't have the heart to disappoint him. And that had been before she had feelings for him.
What she had not expected was a full-blown panic attack, nor the complete devastation on his face, as if his whole world was falling apart before his very eyes.
Again, Raven wanted to shift her body, to move in some way. The intenseness of his emotions made her uncomfortable. If this was how he reacted to a friend and teammate dying, how much worse would he be if he ever fell in love and she died?
"Gar!" A strong hand pounded his back and he gasped, releasing pent-up air from his chest. Tears pricked Raven's eyes.
"One...week?" He gasped, coughing and gagging between words.
Nightwing nodded solemnly, while Vic looked at him sympathetically. Kori wasn't looking at him, but watching Raven with tears in her eyes and a hand over her mouth. She appeared just as shocked as he seemed to be.
Raven had told Kori about her directive and explained why, and at the time it had made sense. She was sure that Kori's shock was due more to the circumstances and forgetfulness than actual emotion. Kori would probably be worried about the directive because of the unique nature of Raven's coma. Being completely drained of her powers and part of her energy hadn't exactly been on Raven's list of possible reasons why she wouldn't have her powers.
"Why?" Gar asked, his voice strained.
Raven bit back a sob. He sounded so...broken.
Her Gar didn't sound broken. He was hopeful, optimistic, energetic, happy. Sometimes he got frustrated or angry. Sometimes he growled and snarled. Sometimes he got upset and yelled or howled. But no matter what emotion he was feeling, he was always passionate in how he expressed himself. He always had light and life in his eyes.
Not this. Never this broken emptiness that he had in his eyes now.
She had only ever seen him like this once before...after Terra.
It broke her heart that she had caused him the same amount of pain and grief that Terra had.
"We waited this long mostly because we weren't here for the first week, and because we forgot about the directives. When she flatlined last week, that's when we remembered." Nightwing and Vic shared a painful look.
Raven paused, processing what Nightwing had said. They had waited? It had already been two weeks? She had flatlined?
So many thoughts rushed through her brain at once as she tried to deal with this new information. On the one hand, she was a little annoyed that they hadn't followed her directive. On the other hand, she felt a strange pride at knowing her body so well.
"We decided to give her another week, just in case. We wanted to be sure that we weren't pulling the plug too early, that we gave her powers enough time to regain strength after everything she had been through," Vic explained.
Raven relaxed a little. That part she understood. She could always trust Cyborg to have the logical reasoning and solution.
Gar looked at him, hopefully, but Vic was quick to dispel his friend's unspoken plea.
"But I've also been monitoring her brain waves for the past week. There's been no...activity. Ever since she flatlined and we brought her back. She's...gone Gar. She's not in there anymore." Vic finished weakly.
Raven snorted internally. Boy was he wrong.
"But out of respect for you, we've decided to wait three more days." Nightwing hurried to add, as though that was supposed to make Gar feel better.
Raven's stomach turned again. She was not sure how she should feel about them intentionally ignoring her directive (again). But one look at Gar's face and she understood why.
His clear devastation was enough to bring even her to tears.
"Why didn't she give herself more time?" Gar asked numbly.
'Because!' She cried. She wanted to tell him, to wake up and explain her reasoning. She wanted to scream at the top of her lungs, but once again her body wouldn't cooperate with her. 'I didn't know! This wasn't supposed to happen this way! I didn't know that I would feel this way about you!' She sobbed. 'I didn't know I would want more...' She whispered to herself.
"I don't know," Vic admitted. "I do know that she knew her body and her powers better than anyone else, and she was right. After one week all brain activity stopped. Her soul had left her body. We just didn't want to accept..." He paused, trying to hold back the sob that had caught in his throat. "That she was really gone."
'But I'm not!' She tried to scream. 'I'm still here!'
"Gar? We," Nightwing cleared his throat. "Look, we don't want to go against Raven's directive, but we understand if you-"
"No," Gar interrupted, his voice gravelly. "Those were her wishes and we're already pushing it by waiting this long. You're right, we need to respect what she wanted. Three more days. Give her a chance, but call it if nothing changes." He agreed.
His eyes were watery, as though he were holding back tears.
"And if she-" he choked. "If she doesn't-doesn't make it, then I'm off the team."
Kori gasped, the first audible sound she had made during the entire conversation.
"Gar no..." Vic muttered quietly. He tried to put a reassuring hand on Gar's shoulder but the changeling merely shrugged it off.
"No," he said firmly. He looked Nightwing in the eye. "I'm too out of control without Raven around. And we can't bring Jinx on permanently just to try and keep me in line. Besides, we've already proven that that doesn't always work. I'm too much of a danger. To everyone."
Nightwing paused, seeming to consider Gar's words. Raven held her breath, waiting for their team leader to speak. It wasn't true, Gar was perfectly capable of keeping the Beast in check without her. What difference did her presence make? He didn't need her or anyone else to be able to safely function on the team. He would never hurt anyone and he would never allow the Beast to either.
"Maybe." Nightwing watched Gar with a look of deep contemplation on his face.
"You don't have to leave the team. If your powers get out of hand-" Vic suggested.
"Then what?!" Gar shouted, standing from his chair. "You lock me up in a cage? No thanks, I'd rather get lost somewhere in nature where I can't hurt anyone."
'That's not true! You don't need to leave!' Raven wanted to scream. More than ever she wanted to wake up and shake some sense into him. 'You would never hurt anyone!'
"Friend Gar that is no way to live either," Kori interjected.
"But I won't be living, will I?" He snarled.
Raven frowned, confused by what he meant.
"Dude, we can figure this out. Find some other way for you to be around-" Vic tried to reason again.
"And what's the alternative? Prison? No, thank you." Gar growled.
"Gar, we discuss our options-" Nightwing began, but Gar cut him off.
"No, my mind is made up. In three days we pull the plug and if she dies then I'm done with the Titans."
Raven blinked, disoriented by the sudden change in lighting and scenery. She was back in the meadow under the tree with Aliyah.
"So?" Aliyah sat in her floating lotus position, her brows raised in question. "How'd it go?"
A wave of anger sent Raven surging to her feet.
"Is that true? If I die is Gar off the team?" She shouted, pointing to the tree behind her.
Infuriatingly, Aliyah just shrugged.
"I don't know. It's a possibility."
Raven's nostrils flared. Once again she found herself wanting to strangle the teenager before her, no matter who she might be.
"So that conversation didn't happen?"
"I didn't say that. That was an actual conversation that your friends had. Whether the outcome will actually occur is unknown."
Raven ran her hands through her hair and grunted in frustration.
"I'm tired of the "unknown". I'm tired of not knowing. I just want to know what to do and what's best for everyone. I just want to know what to do."
"Why don't you try an apple from the "if you live" side of the tree? Maybe that will help even some things out?"
Raven glared down at her. "What things?"
Aliyah shrugged.
"You won't know until you find out."
Raven huffed and whirled around. She reached up and snatched an apple off of the other side of the tree and took a bite.
The change was instantaneous. She blinked rapidly to re-orient herself to the feeling of being a trapped observer inside of her own body.
She could tell that time had passed. She was back in the infirmary, but the lights were off and she was alone. Or, she thought she was alone. A snort and some movement next to her bed alerted her to someone else's presence in the room.
Gar half reclined, half sat in what looked like an extremely uncomfortable position in the chair next to her bed. His feet were on the floor, his arms were crossed and his long body was twisted in some sort of weird pretzel. His head hung back off of the chair and his mouth was open, loud snores thundering in and out of him.
Raven rolled her eyes but found herself resisting the urge to smile. In some weird way, she thought he was cute, though she could do without the snores.
The infirmary doors swished open and Gar sat up, instantly alert. Vic walked in and motioned for Gar to relax.
"It's just me. I'm checking on a few things." He walked over to the monitors as Gar visibly relaxed.
Vic chuckled.
"Still on edge from Titans East's visit earlier?"
Gar growled which pretty much answered the question.
"What part of "don't come" do they not understand?"
Vic smiled and shook his head.
"They're just trying to help and be supportive man. 'Sides, Bee never was good at following orders. Especially orders that require her to sit out on the sidelines."
"Yeah well coming here against orders nearly got them all killed." Gar sneered. Then he grinned a little as if remembering something funny. "How is Dick doing?"
Vic chuckled again, harder this time.
"He's better. I think he finally calmed down. Though, I don't think Roy will ever recover from the shock."
"Of being physically attacked by Nightwing, or from the baby news?"
Raven raised a brow, slightly amused by the mental image of their team leader physically attacking another member of the Titan Network.
"Both," Vic said with a laugh. "I still can't believe that he didn't believe Dick when he told everyone the first time."
Gar rolled his eyes.
"He just wanted to believe that he still had a shot with Kori."
"Ture," Vic eyed Gar carefully as he changed out IV bags. "How did things go with Garth?"
The mood instantly darkened. Raven winced as she watched the happy light leave Gar's eyes, chased away by barely restrained anger.
"He left. Alive." He answered curtly.
"I noticed," Vic replied casually. "I also noticed a shiny new black eye that wasn't there when he got here."
Raven focused all of her attention on Gar, surprised. Sure, she knew that he and Garth and some sort of competitive rivalry, but she had always thought it a natural guy thing. She certainly thought that it had always been friendly. And she had never known Gar to be physically violent toward any of the other Titans, under any circumstances.
"So?" Gar said bitingly.
"So, care to explain what happened?" Vic bit back.
"No," Gar growled. He shifted in the chair trying to both turn his back on Vic and keep Raven in his line of sight.
Vic took the signal that the conversation was over and changed the subject.
"Dude, how can you sleep in those chairs?" He asked lightheartedly.
Raven wanted to protest. She wanted to know what had happened that would make Gar punch Garth hard enough to give the man a black eye. But once again she was not in control of her body and was forced to simply watch as the conversation moved around her.
Gar looked at Raven with an emotion and intensity in his eyes that took her breath away.
"You do what you have to." He whispered, almost to himself rather than to Cyborg.
Vic left the comment and continued his tasks in silence, giving the green man a moment of peace. Raven however looked directly back at Gar, trying so hard to decipher what he was feeling and thinking. She wasn't sure she wanted to know, but her curiosity was getting the best of her.
For several seconds they stayed like that, looking at each other. Gar's eyes were so intense and focused she could almost swear that he was looking right at her. That he, as impossible as it was, could see her. Could see that she was really awake and conscious inside.
But a moment later he looked away, the connection Raven felt between them breaking, and she felt something inside of her breaking with it.
Vic pulled up a chair and glanced at a new clock on the wall. Raven hadn't noticed it before, but now she noticed its ominous presence in the room. Red digital numbers glowed brightly in the dim light of the room.
49:15
"It's not too late you know," Vic said gently. "You can change your mind. No one would blame you."
'Change his mind about what?' Raven thought.
Gar dragged a hand down his face. He looked tired. No, not tired, exhausted. Completely drained. Raven noticed dark bags under his eyes and scruffy green stubble that suggested days without a shave.
"I don't want to go against what she wants..." Gar replied.
Vic shrugged.
"At this point, she's already been on life support longer than she ever wanted to be. If she survives she's already going to kick your ass either way, might as well give her a better shot at doing it."
Gar chuckled.
"I'd give anything for her to kick my ass." He sounded forlorn and distant, as though he were only paying partial attention to the conversation.
"Then give her a chance. You don't have to decide anything right now. Just...take some time. Think about it, okay?"
Gar looked at his best friend, soft amusement on his face.
"You just don't want me to leave the team, don't you?"
"No, I don't want to lose my little sister, that's all." Vic tried to look somber, but a grin from Gar cracked his resolve. "Okay fine, I might not want to lose you either."
Gar chuckled, but it sounded more sad than amused.
"And what makes you think I'll stay even if she wakes up?"
Vic looked at Gar, shock and surprise on his face. Clearly, he had never considered the possibility of Gar wanting to leave even if the best-case scenario occurred. Raven hadn't either and continued to watch the conversation unfold in confusion.
"Why wouldn't you stay?" Vic asked.
Gar shrugged.
"Who says that if she survives she'll still have her powers? Who says they'll ever come back if she has lost them? If that's the case what good to the team would she be? She would just feel useless and empty being around here with nothing to do and no way to contribute. She would feel like a burden."
"So? That's her. That doesn't mean you have to go. She could have a life in the city and you could still serve on the team."
Gar chuckled dryly.
"You know she's not going to want to stick around here. She'll want to do something. Go back to Azarath, or travel, or settle down somewhere else. And you know, where she goes, I go. I'm not doing this," he motioned to the general air around them, "again."
"And if she wants to stay?" Vic asked.
Gar shrugged, again. Raven was starting to get annoyed with the motion.
"I can't say that I won't try to talk her into leaving. Or at the very least suggest it. I think it's time. That we need a change. It's not that I don't love you guys or the job but after this..." He shook his head. "Never again."
Raven frowned. The sentiments were, in a word, logical. Understandable even. But what she couldn't understand was the fact that he was speaking as though they had been in a committed relationship for years. And so far, everyone had been deferring to him on making the decision whether to follow her directive or not. What she couldn't fathom was, why?
Yes, she had told him that she was jealous of his "lady friends" that he brought home almost every night. He might have even figured out that she had a slight crush on him which was the driving point of the jealousy. But he couldn't possibly have developed feelings for her in that amount of time, could he? And certainly not to the degree that everyone was basically treating him like her husband.
"I'll do whatever she decides she wants, but I will tell her that she should at least consider leaving. And that I think it's the best option for everyone."
'What makes him think he has any say in my future?' She thought with sudden anger. 'And what makes him think that he gets to tag along wherever I go after this? And how is that the best option for everyone?'
"How is that the best option for everyone?" Vic asked giving a voice to Raven's thoughts.
Gar shifted in his chair again as he watched Raven consideringly.
"Well, if she survives and doesn't have her powers, it will be safer for everyone. For her because she doesn't need to be putting herself at risk in the field without her powers. And sending her into the field without them puts everyone at risk, not just her."
"I get that part String Bean. I meant the y'all leaving part."
"The Beast," he paused as though he was trying to choose the right words. "He's going to make things...difficult for us. At least for a while. There will be a lot of things that Rae and I will need to discuss and work out on our own and it'll be easier, on everyone, if we do it alone, away from the tower. Regardless of who may or may not have powers. But like I said, I'll do anything she wants to, just so long as we're together."
Vic nodded as if that answer made sense. Raven however wanted to pull her hair out. His answer did nothing to answer any one of her many questions. If anything, it only gave her more questions. How was the Beast involved in any of this? Why was he going to make things difficult? Why would they need to be alone in order to work things out? Raven clenched her teeth. She felt like she was missing a crucial piece of information.
"So you're planning on giving her more of a chance?" Vic asked.
"I didn't say that," the muscle in Gar's jaw worked. Raven could tell he was using a lot of restraint to give well-thought-out and carefully worded responses. She almost didn't recognize the man sitting next to her bed. "When you put it that way it sounds like I'm not giving her a chance at all. I'm doing the best I can. If she's going to live, she's going to live whether she's on life support or not. And if she's going to die..." He swallowed looking pained. "She'll die. There's nothing else I can do at this point except hope and pray. And I'm running out of both."
Vic frowned.
"That's not how life support works-"
"It is in this situation." Gar shut his friend down. His tone made it clear that he was finished discussing the topic.
"Alright. If that's what you need to believe." Vic replied. "But at least-"
"I'll think about it," Gar promised in a softer voice.
Raven thought that she would be prepared for the disorientation this time, but it still took her a few moments to adjust.
"So? Any better?" Aliyah asked. She sat lazily perched on one of the tree limbs. Her back was pressed against the trunk and her legs were stretched out before her crossed at the ankles.
"Hardly," Raven informed as she climbed up the tree to join her. "It suggested the same outcome. Different choice, same result."
"Not entirely the same," Aliyah shrugged. "I believe there were a few choice differences in the outcome."
Raven frowned.
"Yes, but I don't understand them. What-"
"It does no good to ask me. Once again, I only know what you know." Aliyah reminded her. "The only way to find out is to continue with the apples and then make your choice."
Raven glared at her but reached for another apple.
"Fine, let's get this over with."
Gar's ears twitched.
Hushed voices were coming from the hall, again. His friends really needed to learn how to have a quiet conversation.
Another day, another nap was ruined.
He slowly stretched so as not to alert the people talking that he was awake. He checked Raven and the monitors. When he was satisfied that there had been no change, he focused on the conversation that he wasn't supposed to be hearing.
"I'm telling you, it's up to him." Vic hissed.
"I'm not arguing that. I'm not! I'm just saying that stretching it out further will only make it harder on him. On all of us." Dick replied.
It seemed that this time it was Vic and Dick who were the culprits of waking him from sleep.
"If he takes her off of life support then whatever happens, happens. If she lives, wonderful. We will all be overjoyed and will deal with whatever follows together, as a team. As a family. If she dies, we will be devastated but we will have closure and be able to move on. If he chooses to leave her on life support..." Dick ran a hand through his hair.
"We drag this out. Weeks, months, maybe even years of her here, in a coma, using up resources. Him here, at her bedside not fighting, not living, not doing anything. We would have to implement a permanent volunteer rotation just to keep things running around here. Not to mention that it'll force Kid Flash and Jinx to move here permanently. We, all of us, would be suspended in time, not really living our lives. Putting everything on hold until something happened, something changed, and forcing others to do the same in order to accommodate us. It's not fair to anyone involved.
"Not to mention how hard it would be on the four of us who are the closest to her to see her like that. And those are just a few of the problems involved with that option." Dick looked ragged like the past couple of months were finally catching up to him.
Vic hung his head, defeated. Gar could tell by the look on his face that he knew Dick was right.
Dick glanced at the clock hanging on the wall.
"48 more hours. We have 48 more hours before he has to make a decision. Until then we wait and let him think about it on his own. It's his choice to make. Agreed?"
"Agreed." Vic sighed reluctantly.
As they moved away from the door, Gar looked back at Raven. She was so still, so quiet it was hard to believe that she was alive at all. He took her hand in his and pressed it against his cheek.
Beast had said that she was still in there, but was she really? Could she really have survived everything she had been through the past few months? Did she really still have a chance, or was she long gone?
"Please Rae," a tear slipped out of his eye and down his cheek. It slowly dripped off of his chin and onto her arm. "Please wake up. I don't know what to do. I can't do this without you." He whispered.
The heart monitor beeped slowly as her chest slowly rose and then lowered. He waited for some sort of change, some sort of sign. He waited for her to move, or better yet, wake up and tell him the right thing to do. Chew him out for being an idiot, and kick his ass for not doing what she wanted in the first place.
"Everything's a mess, Rae. I don't know what the right choice is. I don't want to make the wrong one. I don't want to mess up and kill you." His admission broke him. He hadn't told anyone else, but that was what terrified him the most. That he would be the one, not the League of Assassins, that killed her.
He didn't want to be responsible for being the one to take her off of life support too early. He didn't want to be the one to ruin everyone else's lives by choosing to keep her on life support for too long. He didn't want to be responsible for the outcome of either decision.
But no matter what happened, one thing was clear.
He had a choice to make.
The world around Raven burned.
Buildings were in ruins, flames ate at what few structures were left standing. Lava boiled where water once flowed. Ominous clouds hung in the air darkening the sky. There was an eerie silence that made her skin crawl. The earth was absent of people. No one walked down the streets. No one worked inside the buildings. No one called or talked to each other. No one lived.
Raven's stomach turned.
This sight was familiar to her. Too familiar.
A dry wind blew a pile of dust into the air thickening the smog that clung to Raven's skin.
Her chest tightened and her throat burned.
'No, no, no, no...not again. It can't be...please not again...' She thought.
They had barely survived once. How would they ever survive again?
Through the dust and the smog, a figure approached in the distance. Raven squinted, trying to see who it was. She couldn't make out any defining features, only the dark outline of what looked like a woman.
"Hello?" Raven called.
At least this time she could move and speak as she pleased.
The figure didn't respond. They only continued to step forward.
Raven backed up a step, unsure if they were friend or foe.
"Hello? Can you hear me?" She called again. A cough came up from her chest, fighting the thickness of the dirt and smoke in the air.
The figure stopped, and raised a hand, pointing it at Raven. Except where the hand was supposed to be there was a glowing green ball.
Raven gasped at the familiar sight and looked up at malicious glowing green eyes.
Raven gasped as she woke up in the meadow.
That had been the worst outcome vision yet.
She leaped to her feet from where she had been sitting on the ground. She whirled around to find Aliyah in her usual floating lotus position.
"Tell me that wasn't real!" Raven shouted, fear and anger taking over. She pointed back toward the tree in an accusatory manner. "Tell me!"
"It was a possible outcome," Aliyah replied calmly. The amount of patience she had baffled Raven. She had said the same thing nearly a hundred times by now. Raven however was losing what little patience she started with by the second.
"How is that possible?! How is Trigon returning possible? We defeated him!" Raven demanded.
"It wasn't Trigon," Aliyah replied.
"What?"
"It wasn't Trigon. You are right. You and your friends defeated him for good several years ago."
"Then what the hell was that?" Raven growled. She was trying to hide her panic but she knew that she was doing a poor job of doing so.
"That was a possible outcome if you choose to live."
"I know that! What caused it? How did that happen if it wasn't Trigon returning?"
Aliyah paused. For the first time since they had begun this process hours ago, she looked nervous. Sick even.
"Was it me?" Raven whispered, dreadful realization washing over her.
"No."
The reply was firm and precise. Aliyah's eyes hardened and the muscle in her jaw twitched.
"It wasn't you." She paused for a beat before continuing. "It was your child."
Raven looked at Aliyah, stunned.
"You?" She whispered in disbelief. "But you would never-"
"Not necessarily me," Aliyah interrupted. "Any child you carry and give birth to has the potential of inheriting your powers. Which in turn, gives them the potential of becoming a powerful weapon."
"You lose control," Raven concluded softly.
"Possibly," Aliyah didn't bother correcting Raven's assumption. "Or whoever the child turns out to be could be used as a weapon. There are many people who would give anything, do anything, just to get their hands on your powers."
Raven's stomach turned. She was going to be sick.
"And the person with the glowing green eyes?" Raven asked.
Aliyah shrugged, but a creeping sensation told Raven that she already knew the answer.
"Dick and Kori's child?" She whispered softly.
Aliyah's silence only confirmed her suspicions.
"Together you destroy the world..." Raven whispered, the reality of the statement overwhelming her.
Of course, their children would be the end of the world. The kids would be the products of four of the most powerful people in the world. How could it not end that way?
Raven sank to the ground, her mind scrambling to comprehend what she had just seen and realized.
"Not necessarily," Alyiah repeated. "It is a possible outcome. That does not mean that it is true."
Thunder boomed overhead as though to discredit her words. Aliyah looked up and studied the dark clouds that had finally arrived. She then searched the branches of the tree to check their work. Finally, she turned back to Raven who still sat on the ground in a ball.
"That was the last one. Our work here is finished and the storm has arrived." She reached down and helped Raven to her feet. After shaking her for a moment to get Raven to focus, Aliyah looked her in the eye.
"Once you have made a decision it is final. You cannot go back and you cannot change it. Do you understand?"
Raven nodded.
"Good. When you have made your decision, you must go toward whichever gate you have chosen. The gate of life," she motioned behind her toward the darkness. "Or the gate of death," she motioned toward the bright light behind Raven.
"What about you?" Raven asked, concern clear in her voice. She had come to care for the girl with all her heart, despite how infuriating she could be.
"Once you have left, this place will be destroyed and I will cease to exist in this form." Raven nodded to show that she understood so Aliyah continued. "And you will forget everything that happened here."
"What?!" Raven shrieked. It startled her a little that such a noise had come from her mouth. She never shrieked. But at the moment she didn't really care about the indignity or immaturity of the noise. "I don't want to forget you!" She gripped Aliyah's arms as though holding her tight enough would keep her in her memories forever.
"Raven-"
"No! What about the memories that I've made with you? What if I chose to live and then you don't ever exist? I want to remember you! I want to know my daughter!" Raven cried desperately. Tears pricked her eyes and her chest heaved at the thought of losing her child.
Aliyah smiled gently.
"If you chose to live you won't remember me. If you have me then you will know me, and you'll get to have all the time in the world to make memories with me. You'll get to raise me from day one and know me for far longer than a few hours. If you live and have me then you will know me. But if you don't have me, then you won't have the pain of knowing what could have been. You won't have to live with the pain of having me and then losing me." Aliyah explained.
Raven saw the logic and sense in what Aliyah said. She slowed her panicked breathing and unclenched her grip on Aliyah's arms.
"Alright," she agreed, a few tears escaping down her cheeks.
Aliyah nodded reassuringly.
"The time has come. You have a choice to make."
"The time has come friend Garfield," Kori said softly.
"You have a choice to make," Dick said in his leader voice. Gar could tell that he was trying to keep his emotion at bay, but the glint of pain in his eyes showed that he wasn't quite as good at it as his former mentor was.
They had all chosen to be in their civilian clothes for this. All except Gar who still refused to leave the infirmary to change. Even Vic had donned street clothes, choosing to wear a pair of sweatpants and a sweatshirt. For the sake of comfort, he had said. Dick had even removed his mask since it was just the four of them in the room.
The entire network had come to support them today, but they had chosen to keep it to the five of them only in the infirmary. No matter what Gar ended up choosing, they wanted it to be private. So while everyone gathered upstairs to wait, they had come together at Raven's bedside.
Kori placed a gentle hand on Gar's shoulder and gave him a small squeeze of comfort and support.
They had all tried to give him space over the past two days, to let him think. But now they rallied next to him, ready to support whatever choice he made.
He took a deep breath. He could do this.
He glanced at the clock on the wall one last time.
00:00
He turned back to the woman he loved more than life itself.
He made a choice.
The street was quiet, well-lit, peaceful.
Not many neighborhoods in this area were known for their safety, or upkeep, or working street lights, but since he had started spending so much time here in the past year this street had a stellar reputation.
Normally he would have driven the whole way there, but it was late and he wanted to remain inconspicuous. So far he hadn't felt the need or desire to tell anyone about his secret and he certainly didn't want it to get out because he got spotted pulling up to the building in the middle of the night.
He checked the street and the surrounding area when he reached the right building. After the past few months, he wasn't going to take any chances.
He checked again when he reached the right door before knocking.
"Coming!" A lighthearted voice called from inside.
The door opened to reveal a young woman with light blonde hair and blue eyes, a bright smile on her face. It brightened at first when she realized who it was before his expression registered.
"Vic?" She asked, worry in her voice.
"Sarah," His voice broke. Tears pierced his eyes and a sob gripped him.
"Oh god..." Sarah opened the door and pulled him into the tiny apartment. She closed the door before pulling him into her arms. He buried his face into her neck as more sobs began to claim his large body making him shake uncontrollably.
"What happened?" She whispered in his ear.
"He made his choice."
Okay, once again may I say please forgive the crappy editing job. Maybe someday later I will feel up to going back over these chapters and doing more thorough edits, but not right now. Also, we have chapter titles! I'm super excited that I finally picked titles! I wasn't going to and then I found some common theme words in most of the chapters and well, it's a thing now.
So, I feel like you guys deserve somewhat of an explanation for my few months-long absence. So, part of the reason why I take so long to update at all is because I'm a perfectionist, especially when it comes to my writing and editing. (I hate editing but poorly edited stuff drives me crazy). Anyway, part of that process for me is going back and re-reading everything I've written so far to keep up with plot lines because guess what, plot holes and unanswered questions are a pet peeve of mine (I know, shocker right?). So earlier, like in May or June, (whenever I posted before the last chapter was) I took a little break in my writing so I could go back, re-read everything, make notes of what I had answered/addressed and what still needed to be addressed. This story has a lot of moving parts and can be hard to keep track of sometimes even if it doesn't seem like it.
So, I took a break to do all of that and just to give myself a little breather and then (surprise, surprise) life happened. I've had some family issues and other stuff happen that has kept me from working on this story and I am so sorry that I kept you waiting for so long. As I have said before, I am committed to this story for as long as you guys are, so please keep reviewing and leaving comments. I enjoy reading your opinions and seeing you theorize about what you think is going on. Thank you all for checking in, leaving comments, and continuing your interest. (Also, if you see a plot hole or have a question, please let me know. I may have done it on purpose or I may have just missed it. I'd rather you guys say something than leave it as is).
Okay, Mailbox time:
Arianne Luna: I will continue to write as long as you continue to enjoy!
Guest: Thank you! I really enjoyed your enthusiastic feedback! I'm glad you're enjoying it so far. I'm sorry I left you on a cliffhanger, that really was unintentional. I'm glad that you like the way I've written the relationship between Gar and the Beast and their feelings for Raven so far. I know my take is a little different than most people's so I was kind of interested to see how it would be taken.
oluwabukumiolatoye6: Thank you for your concern and understanding. Yes, I am still interested in the story and I'm glad that you still have an interest in the story. I am good, thank you for checking:)
Dragonmoon388: Interesting thought, I'll admit, it didn't occur to me to do something like that.
Once again, it's always good to get your opinions on the story! I'm sorry if I missed someone's comment or review, as I was writing this I saw that some people are having issues with seeing reviews. So if I missed yours I'll get it in the next chapter.
Thank you all again for reading and reviewing! Be back soon with moe updates!