Chapter 4

Another Client Commeth

I rolled in to my office around noon the next day, hoping that no one really needed a husband found any earlier than three o'clock tomorrow afternoon, hoping that today could be a slow one so that I could catch a nap or two. I could tell by the smirk on Elena's face, however, that it was not to be."

"Stop mocking me, Philips," Tseng muttered.

"Who's mocking ya," Reno smarted back, leaning forward on his elbows and almost missing the desk that he couldn't see, "you ain't the only person who talks like that. You ain't even gotten a load of my next client. Want me to keep goin' or are you too offended?"

"Proceed."

"Yeah. So like I said, I walked into my building to see the elevator girl with a smirk on her stupidly amused face. I get in the elevator, trying to ignore her.

'Business getting prettier, huh?' She said, perky as ever.

'Is it?' I grunted back. I have no idea why this girl didn't ever seem to catch me in a good mood lately, but it could've be worse, I supposed. Least she only ever had to help me plug up a bullet hole once on the way up to my office. The other time it was in the basement after a break in. You remember that time, right, Rude? Don't smile, you bastard, it ain't that funny that I almost died. Anyway, back to someone who actually cares about me.

'Depends on the way you look at it, I suppose.' Elena shrugged. I was a little worried about what type of visit I was in for this time, but why would I spoil the surprise by asking her? I don't really like surprises, but I also hate ruining them.

That smirk didn't leave her face the whole way up or even after I got off. She can be a bit weird sometimes. I shook my head and pulled out my keys, forgetting that she always left the door unlocked when she let people in.

Boy, she hadn't been kiddin'.

He was a little taller than me, just slightly, but even if he had wanted to be intimidating, there wasn't a chance in the world that he woulda been - I mean, not to me, I guess. Maybe in another life or another setting, but I just saw a cream puff. I imagined he scared quite a few other people on his manner alone. But that aside, I don't know if I have met more of a pretty boy in my life.

So, he's has been waiting for me in my office for ten minutes, and I catch him going through my desk when I barge in. This is getting to be a habit for my customers. I think I oughta start locking my door.

'Hello! Rufus Shinra. You are Reno Philips, I take it?'

"Oh. And he sounded pretty too. Did I mention that part? See what I mean when I say that you aren't the only person who talks like that, boss?"

'Yeah, you take it right,' I drawled. I like drawling, and I love being a smart ass. Maybe that's why I don't have as much work as I think I ought to, 'cause believe it or not, I am great at what I do. Anyway, I leveled my eyes at him, letting him know that I saw him going through my stuff, before I went back to being my charming business self. 'What can I do ya for?'

'What can you wha- Why you - Oh yes, I see. I'm looking for...a secondary of sorts.' He frowned and stopped talking, like he wasn't sure what word he wanted to use on me. 'Mister Philips, have you ever dealt with a blackmail case before?'

'Once or twice. That what I'm looking into?'

'Not quite.'

'Not quite. But whatever this thing is has something to do with the dirty word. Okay, Mr. Forthright, how much are you offering for me to help you out in this not exactly blackmail case?' I ask him, still drawing out my words as lazily as I could. I could see that it got to him. I don't know when I did it, but when I saw this frown on his face I realize that I'm leaning back in my chair with my legs slung over the armrest with a lit cigaret in the hand of the arm that I've slung over the back of my chair. Hope I'm painting you a pretty picture of myself, captain. Anyway, the guy seemed like he hadn't thought it through, but that happens a lot so I didn't think too much about it - no snarky comments about that, either.

'W...well I can't say that I have really thought about it.'

'Well start thinking about it, man,' I answered, letting him think that I really was paying more attention to my smoke than I was to him.

'You know, I don't really care for your manner, Mr. Philips.' Oh, little miss sunshine was angry. He even started to stand. I shrugged and sat up even though I had been real comfortable before.

'Eh, I've had complaints about it.'

'How would you like a swift kick to the shins?'

'Real scary, yo,' I reply, and you know I can get to be with little bitches like that. So anyway, we stare each other down for a few seconds before Shinra loses.

'Look, let's start over. I really am in need of your services.' I bit my tongue back along with the very sarcastic reply that was on the tip of it. He wouldn't have been impressed by it anyway.

Now, I'd met the guy two minutes ago and there was already somethin' about this guy that I very much didn't care for. Couldn't place it exactly, but part of me really wanted to tell him off and kick him out. That was the smart part of me. I guess I was dumb and decided to let my stomach do the thinking. See, he also looked like a hell of a paycheck - like the paycheck that lets you eat twice in the same month if you're able to deliver - so I decided to hear him out.

Take my advice, Rude, don't let your stomach do the thinking.

'Okay? I'm listenin.' I drawled again, avoiding eye contact by lighting up a second cig.

'It is a rather delicate situation.'

'Well, goin' by the look of ya I'm not surprised. Stop stalling. What's this gig?'

'A lady friend of mine had some jewelry stolen. Quite an antique, very expensive. I am buying it back for her.' That gives me pause right away.

'Say, what is this? You said blackmail, you didn't say jewelry theft. No thanks, bub. Count me out, I don't need that kind of trouble.'

'No, it's nothing of the kind. She…would rather I didn't go into specifics, but let us suffice it to say that we would prefer to get this whole things squared away before her husband finds out. You see, she wants it back if possible , and I happen to know the fence. They've set up a meeting.'

'And why do you know this fence?'

'I just happen to. You see, he contacted her about the piece first.'

'A'right, he who?'

'Jules. A certain Sephiroth Jules. Heard of him?' I hadn't, but that wasn't what I was thinking. All I could think was how wonderful it was to have yet another hoidy-toidy with a fancy name to be dealt with later, presumably.

'Can't say that I have, man, but then I'm usually tracking down the other end of the spectrum.'

'Yes. Of course you are,' he says, looking me up and down and probably deciding that I'm not worth any more than the two bits that he plans on paying a two-bit rent a cop. 'Well, I would like to hire you to accompany me.'

'No.'

'But-'

'Did ya see the word bodyguard anywhere on my door?'

'It pays 5,000 gil.' And naturally that stops me in my tracks. It would stop you in your tracks too, Tseng, if you didn't have a steady pay check. Or maybe even though you do.

'What'll I be doing?'

'I don't want the buyer to see me. He thinks that it will be the lady and I don't want to be seen by him.'

'Yeah, so what exactly will I be doing? Do not say that I'll be posing as her, because that is not happening.'

'I informed you on the outset that I wished for you to accompany me. I want security, a witness and a second pair of eyes, as it were. Possibly someone to make the exchange if it seems necessary. There are certain people who I really do not wish to be seen by depending upon who is sent.'

Well that surprises me. See, this guy isn't only prettier than me, he would also probably pay someone to snap me in half no matter how pretty he happens to be, but then he says he's afraid of some Sephiroth guy who's probably just another skirt chaser and spends every other paycheck at Corneo's. Maybe he's just lyin' to me for some reason, but hell with it, I'm game for a lot of things that could get me killed.

'That right,' I ask, and good old hyphenated-name nods, but he doesn't even seem to notice the sarcasm in my tone. Then again, I guess sarcastic's about the only tone I ever use. 'Five thousand gil?'

'Cash on delivery.'

'Cash, huh? And let me make sure I understand ya completely - I go along to hold your hand and deal your dirty work this one time?'

'A crude summary, but yes.'

'...A'right, you got yourself a deal. What time do I show?'

'It must be after dark. Say ten o'clock tomorrow night on Eight Sector Road, by the theater.'

'Loveless Avenue? Kind of a busy spot for a drop,' I observe very keenly.

'I'll meet you there. After that we drive to our meeting place. It's outside of Midgar.'

'Outa Midgar, huh?'

'Yes. Don't worry, mister Philips, you will get your money.' I liked the smile that he gave me. It reminded me of cream laced with cyanid -not enough to kill, just enough to put me in the hospital. See, this smells, and I know it smells, but this fat cat has definitely got the money - and if he doesn't, all I have to do is sneak a cufflink or two off of him and I still get paid - I recognize nice stuff when I see it. I gotta shake my head at him here, though. This is too shady and he seems likely to renig.

'Nah, you're going to give me a down payment. This isn't my normal gig.' 'Course, it isn't my first walk in the park, either. I know how much a pretty little rich boy can pinch pennies.

'How much?'

'Five hundred up front.' He concedes right away, pulling out five beautiful, crispy, hundred gil notes and starts handing 'em to me."

"You used the word correctly for once."

"-What? Of course I 'used the word correctly'! I know what 'concedes' means. Shut up, Rude.

Anyway to get back to the story, he pulls them away as I reach for 'em.

'How do I know that you'll uphold you're end of the bargain?'

'You'll just have to trust me - kinda like I just have to trust you, ya know, driving me outa the city after dark. You could be planning to murder me for all I know.' I thought he looked a little funnier when I said that, but for some reason my idiot stomach told me to shrug it off. My gut told me otherwise, but I ignored it. 'See, that's why ya give a downpayment. Secures my services.'

'I see.' He looked for a minute like he was reconsidering his offer, but he finally handed my the cash, and this time he actually let me take it. 'Be sure to show up on time, or I can assure you that you will regret requiring that downpayment.'

'Not going to happen, Shinra. Anything else?'

'Could you attempt to curb the vernacular when you're on the job?'

'Not really my style.'

'Fine. Suit yourself.'

'I'll see ya tomorrow, yo.'

I like to slather things on thick, after all.

'Very good.'

He mighta made it sound like everything was fine with him, but I got the distinct feeling that I'd made him angry. I was gonna have to mind my Ps and Qs the next night. And ya know, I still wasn't sure that he hadn't just routed out a lowlife so he could snap him in half for a good time, but five thousand gil is five thousand gil, and so far as I could tell there wasn't anything illegal going on. Not overly illegal, anyway.