As it often happened recently with the godly plane still shaken after the death of Zeus, the storm hit abruptly.
Adjusting the sling to pull the scared infant closer to her chest, she once again checked if the cover she made was woven tightly enough. Well, so far it seemed to be working; Eve was dry.
Which she couldn't say about herself; and, which was starting to be clear to her with each passing moment, wasn't going to be as little of a deal as she'd thought.
Well, she hadn't exactly expected the hot summer night to turn into an almost winter one, in the matter of moments, at that. And her shuddering from cold and rain wasn't helping to calm Eve, now full-on crying as the thunder roared among the wild gusts of wind swooshing around them. As much as the ditch sheltered them from the wind, partly, the cascading rain in the current temperature made her teeth chatter; and, what worried her more, was starting to turn the ditch into a little river; not that she hadn't realized it would get wet down here, but the current downpour — it was crazy, like a waterfall; she'd never seen anything like that.
She tightened her hold on the crying baby in her arms, pressing her mouth to the girl's forehead. "It's okay, I'm gonna keep you warm," she said shakily, cold shivers piercing her through as the water streamed down her head and bare arms. Gabrielle had taken all their clothes and blankets with her, for Joxer — well, not that it would've changed much — anything she would put on right now would've gotten soaked within seconds, anyway.
Her ears ringing from cold and wind, she didn't even pick up on the presence lurking nearby as she normally would have.
Not until the ether opened and produced his huge, dark silhouette in front of her.
She huffed bitterly, wiping off the raindrop running down her nose. Of course; she was cornered, he wouldn't pass up such opportunity.
Well, she wasn't going to dignify him with as much as one glance.
Moments passed, and he just stood there, the eerie silence irking her even more than his usual bullshit. She would've told him to fuck off; if she could get her teeth to stop chattering.
"Fine, we don't have to talk. But you're not staying here," his voice reached her, barely cutting through the howling chaos around them.
Before she knew it, strong hands gripped her arms and the ether sucked her in.
#
It was always an odd feeling; to open her eyes a moment later, to a whole different setting.
Lavish with silk and gold and furs, basked in the light of dozens of candles, it definitely wasn't gloomy enough to be one of his temples. The room had too much of a homey feel to it; had to be the fireplace.
It was dry and warm, that was what mattered. The fact that she owed it to him, that she would have to deal with him now — that was secondary. That she would take care of. Later. First, she needed to tend to her daughter.
She looked towards the huge, four-post bed in the middle, and a wooden crib next to it.
"There's dry clothes for both of you." He gestured towards the set of textiles on the huge, flawlessly-made bed. When she looked back to him, he vanished in a blue flash.
The thought of owing him made her cringe, but gods, there was everything there, diapers included. And she was dying to peel off all the wet layers clinging to her skin and wrap herself in something dry; and Eve needed changing in the first place.
A while later, with just her hair wet, wrapped in a warm, linen robe, she settled herself on the bed and, almost managing to forget where she was, she grunted softly as the baby latched onto her breast.
And wasn't surprised at all, that it was precisely the moment he chose to show up.
She didn't spare him a glance, but the longer he was there and said nothing, the more her patience wore thin.
She looked up at him as he took a seat in the armchair nearby; he blinked hastily when their eyes met, like she caught him off guard. He seemed uneasy, somehow; which for some reason only unnerved her further.
Gods, only he was able to rile her up like that without doing anything.
Ridiculous and annoying, that he would just sit and stare, the soft crackling of the fireplace and the storm outside filling the silence between them.
And, that, in spite of it all, somehow, she didn't hate it as much as she felt she should. "Do you have something to say, or are you just gonna sit and stare like a creep?" she asked coldly, glancing up at him.
He raised his brows, smirking. "You're welcome."
"I'm not gonna thank you, if that's what you're waiting for."
"You know, I had an impression you weren't exactly having a good time out there."
"If you think your bringing me here is going to get me to believe the bullshit you've been trying to feed me, you're wasting your time."
"What would it take for you to trust me?" he asked, catching her off guard, his tone serious, honest almost; as far as a lying bastard like him could be honest.
"You would have to be somebody else," she said flatly, covering her breast and placing Eve on the mattress.
"Think about it, Xena. I'm offering you my protection, my sword, against my whole family — why would I risk everything if I didn't mean it?"
"And what's in it for you?"
"You letting me in, being a part of your life."
"You've always been a part of my life, and if anything, it's high time to end it."
"You had a chance to do it, you didn't."
"You damn well know why I spared your life. It didn't have anything to do—"
"I do know why… because you feel it too… that your life's not complete without me."
She scoffed, her eyebrows going up. "You're so full of yourself it would be hilarious — if it wasn't pathetic."
"And yet you dream about me, anyway." He narrowed his eyes at her.
Her eyes widened, the flashbacks of last night's dream flooding her anew. "It was you…" she whispered, a grimace twisting her mouth. "Of course, it was…." she muttered with contempt.
"Not entirely, though… I just came to talk… it was you who took it to the next level."
"You son of a bitch…" She swallowed, the heat back in her cheeks. Manipulating scum, as always. "And you thought you were going to, what — fuck me into trusting you?"
"Well, that would be optimal," he said with a little grin, his brows raising. "Sadly, I know it takes more than that."
"If you think I'm gonna sacrifice myself and my future to pay for your help, you're wasting your time."
"And you're wasting our time — because we don't have time for this, Xena. It's not just your child's life at stake here. It's yours, and mine as well."
"Your life has nothing to do with me."
"And your life means everything to me. I haven't realized it until just recently, but it's true. It's how I feel. I'm not saying I like it. I'm just saying, it is what it is."
She frowned, struck with the genuine honesty in his voice, a strange feeling overcoming her.; gods, this was bad; it was going to be harder than she thought. "It doesn't change who you are."
"It doesn't. But it does change who I wanna be. To you. It does change what I wanna do with my life… offer it to you… my life, my sword, my loyalty…" he trailed off, his voice solemn, unsettling her more.
She clenched her teeth, angry at herself, at her heartbeat, suddenly so loud she felt it resonating throughout every inch of her body, her pulse racing when she saw him rise from his seat. Instinctively, she rose to her feet, too, afraid of him joining her in bed. If he did, it was a one way street, she was doomed.
And it didn't help shit; because, as he advanced towards her, she just stood there, frozen in her spot, like under a spell; a spell that made it all feel too good to run from; breathing him in, clinging to him when his arms wrapped around her, his huge, bulky frame making her feel small, lightheaded from how overwhelming it was to feel him so near.
"I wanna protect you," he said, the rich, deep vibe of his voice making her lids heavy, "against anyone who tries to lay a hand on you… or Eve."
"Eve means your death."
"And letting my family kill her means I lose you."
"You can't lose what you don't have."
"No, but I can fight for it," he said, his hand strong on her back, distracting when roaming up and down her spine.
"You're not gonna win…"
"Then I'll die trying," he whispered against her forehead, nuzzling her hair.
She shut her eyes in a desperate attempt to even out her breath, to save herself from falling into the abyss, from aching to fall into it so badly she knew there was no way back. The damn dream, now unfolding in front of her eyes, with her in it, for real, and it was all the same, the way it felt; like he peeled off all the layers and left her nude as she'd never felt in her life; vulnerable, exposed for him to play her how he wanted, push her buttons the way only he knew how.
"How do I know you won't hurt Eve?" she asked, her breath shallow.
In the dim ambience of the candle-lit room, his eyes were black; and yet, there was some warmth there she hadn't seen before; or maybe it was her mind playing tricks on her; an illusion, a part of the spell.
"You don't… unless you believe me when I tell you…" he whispered, his voice low and warm, his hands sliding up her back, up to her shoulder blades, massaging softly. "…I would never hurt you like that."
She blinked in a reflex to compose herself, conceal how it affected her, all of it; his words, voice, his embrace, the strength and warmth of him, so comforting with the growling thunder of the storm outside — but gods, it shouldn't affect her, not like this, not to the point when it was starting to feel so mindfuckingly good she'd be ready to sell his soul to him if he made this feeling last forever. "I don't believe a single word you say…" she forced herself to whisper, with the last bits of self-control she could muster.
"You don't, yet… but you want to… because you want this… us…"
"There is no us…"
"There is… there's us that fight against each other — but that's not the us I mean, it's not the us I want…" He locked his hands on her waist, squeezing lightly. "It's not the us you want…"
"No…" she blurted, her mind going hazy as he stroked from her waist up her sides, a chill running up her back, a wave of heat flooding her chest and throat as his fingers brushed the peaks of her breasts, and another one as she imagined his mouth following.
"We both want the same, Xena… and I just want a chance to show you, how good I can make you feel…"
"I won't sleep with you," she said hastily, stupidly, which they both knew was a complete opposite of what was about to happen, in some desperate, lousy attempt to save herself from what she still fooled herself there was any saving from.
"It's more than that…" He brushed her cheek with his thumb. "It's having someone you feel safe with, someone who always has your back…" he kept going, the words driving her insane, his fingers on her scalp sending a warm tingle all over, down to her shoulders. "Someone who understands you as no one else… who loves you for who you are, every single thing about you…"
She couldn't listen to this, had to shut it out, focus on his touch instead; the overbearing fullness of his lips against hers, claiming her softly, in a way they never kissed, they way they kissed in the dream, with tenderness that he shouldn't be capable of, almost unbearable. "No…" she breathed unconsciously, not sure what she meant anymore.
"Yes…" he whispered back against her lips, lifting her up, placing her on the bed, covering her with the pleasant heaviness of him, his face diving to her neck and lower, pulling her robe apart, baring her to him completely. "…Someone who's ready to sacrifice everything for you."
She buried her fingers in his hair, arching her neck for his mouth, her eyes closing from the sensation. "You wouldn't sacrifice a damn thing if you didn't benefit from it." She reached down to his belt and tugged at it.
He stopped her. "If I am to risk everything, I need to know it makes sense to."
"So, you're playing hard to get?" she sneered.
"No, I'm just taking my time with you," he said huskily, sending a wave of gooseflesh over her. "If you get an exquisite meal, you don't devour it in two bites…" he mused, covering her chest with a trail of torturously slow kisses that proved his point more than well.
She was afraid he would do that. This wasn't how she wanted to play it. It was meant to be a quick relief, not the delirious torture she knew he was about to turn it into, that would turn her into a brainless heap of flesh and bones, even more defenseless than she was already.
Her breath heavy, she let her head sink into the mattress, warmth flooding her, covering her with sweat head to toes, fluttery waves sweeping over her chest and stomach with his every touch.
Well, it was still just sex, no matter how shaken he got her as the heat of his mouth descended down her body, when he then reached the top of her thighs, nuzzling, inhaling, like she was the air he needed to breathe.
"Gods, I missed you…" he whispered, in a way that she wasn't sure was meant for her or just the spot between her legs that he claimed with his mouth with such devotion that just watching it made her lightheaded, every sweep of his tongue mindblowing, as if he followed a map; did he still remember her body so well, or was he just that good? Whatever it was, that was the only thought she managed for a while, before her mind went entirely blank, her hands roaming over his head blindly, before she froze in a series of spasms, and pushed him away abruptly, her breath gone, knees pressed together, shuddering; they wouldn't stop for a while.
She knew he was somewhere near but she didn't look, her eyelids too heavy to lift, head too heavy to move. The sounds reached her; the storm outside, it seemed to be dying down. The wind was gone, making the soft rustle of the rain falling on the grass sound louder than it was. Or, maybe it really was loud; she wasn't sure, with her senses all over the place.
Right now, she wasn't sure anymore; of anything.