He stared through the window, eyeing the movement of the tall grass randomly swayed by abrupt gusts of wind, flattening out under the pressure, too weak to fight back.
Not much different than him when she was near, he smirked with irony.
Recently, he felt quite like that. Her words, when she spoke, hit hard, or cut deep; with an impact he shouldn't be able to feel. Not to such extent.
It'd been like this for a while now.
It puzzled and annoyed him, at first, when he still thought it would pass. Anger and frustration came later, when he knew it wouldn't — still, nothing he didn't manage to bury under thick layers of smug cynicism, with time.
And last night, it all broke, shattered into pieces.
Last night, for the first time in his life, he, a warrior, a god, the son of Zeus, was just plain defenseless, exposed for her to take whatever she wanted from him.
She didn't take a thing.
She just left.
After he finally brought himself to open up, after he decided she deserved it, that she was worth it, the effort it was for him to share his feelings, after all that — she just left. Fucked him and left. Like it was nothing, like he was some random lay you forgot in the morning and moved on.
And now, instead of flooding the battlefields with the blood of mortals, he was stuck here brooding over her — and what a damn fool he was, to let himself be weak like that — and in front of her, at that — and how fucked up it was, for it to feel so good, damn her — it was her, she did that to him; fucked him up like that, made him weak, this damn power she had over him — and made it feel so good that he lost control as he never had.
Growling, he hurled a series of fireballs across the room and just stood there for a while, watching it all go up in flames, till it was all he could see and breathe; the beloved smell of destruction; but even that failed to soothe him.
His heart racing angrily, he teleported himself to the meadow he'd left her at.
She wasn't there anymore.
But she was about to see him very soon.
#
"What the hell…" she muttered, squinting against the sun; specifically, against the sun casting glimmering reflexes on the metal helmets of the troops that suddenly came into sight out of nowhere, marching across the meadow, advancing her way. Not just in front of her; they were all around her.
Tightening the fastening of the sling holding Eve against her chest, she climbed up the biggest of the three oaks and crouched at one of the thicker branches, frowning in bewilderment at how fast the armies kept closing in on her; it wasn't a human pace.
Unsurprisingly, he materialized on the branch right beside her.
"I knew it had your stench all over it," she said, her lips twisting in a grimace.
With a wave of his hand, the entire sea of soldiers froze in their tracks. "Just to remind you, every god on Olympus is after you."
She clenched her teeth, letting out a huff. "I can see that," she said bitterly. "So, that's it? This is your way of showing you care?"
"Oh, I'm sorry — I didn't exactly get the impression you were interested in that."
"So, you're what — trying to get me to change my mind by sending a bunch of your toy soldiers after me?"
"I don't about the toy part…" he said, tilting his head. "They look pretty solid to me — well, you'll find out for yourself." He flicked his wrist and the troops came alive, now just yards away from them.
Her arm tightened around the child on her chest, bile rising in her throat.
"Give me a child and I'll make it stop."
"What did you say?" She narrowed her eyes in a grimace, her stomach tightening.
"I'm not gonna force you into being with me. But if you want help — it's like you said, I need a collateral."
She closed her eyes briefly, wondering if maybe it was just the same dream again, wishing it was, her face burning; gods, what an idiot she was.
There was some fleeting softness in his gaze, regret maybe, a glimpse, but it was gone in a heartbeat, his expression darkening. She forced herself to draw a slow breath in, to get a grip, to calm the tumultuous, pulsing heartbeat; as loud as it was last night, when she almost believed him. Well, this was what she got for being a fool.
"I knew it you were lying," she said absent-mindedly, staring in front of her, not seeing anything, just dimly realizing there was silence again, the commotion at their feet stopped; until Eve's whimpers reached her ears, snapping her out of it. "It's okay, baby, shhh," she briefly pressed her mouth to the little forehead, blinking the tears away before she turned to him. "Go on," she smiled bitterly. "Launch your army at a woman with a child in her arms. A woman you claim to love. This is who you really are."
He shut his lids briefly, his jaw muscles twitching, the rage radiating off him covering her skin in gooseflesh.
And, before she could blink, she was standing on the branch alone, no helmets in sight, the landscape green and pastoral as before.
She let out a breath, angry at herself for the tears that fell.
He wasn't worth it.
#
He meant to go to Olympus, but found himself in one of his temples instead; he didn't even know where.
Collapsing on the throne, he kept breathing heavily, eyes closed. What the fuck was he doing? Was he really considering risking banishment from Olympus — imprisonment in Tartarus for betraying his family — to help her? And for what? So she could thank him and walk away?
Which still wasn't a reason enough to pull what he just did — show up on an impulse and act like a fucking idiot — gods, it still cringed him to remember it — what the hell was wrong with him to lose control like that?
Though, on the other hand, what did he have to lose? It's not like fucked it all up much more than it had been already. She didn't want him. She did, but wouldn't stop denying it even if he chained and tortured her to death. They didn't have a future, she'd never be his — so, yes, he might have gotten a bit carried away with those armies, but — well, the child was the only bargain that came to his mind that would make it worthwhile — though, in all honesty, he wasn't really surprised it pissed her off even more — but if he were to help her free of charge, what would he get in return?
He snorted, imagining the scene; she would've given him that teary-eyed look she just did, and would've walked the other way with Gabrielle; and he would've been left standing there like a loser — before going home and becoming the laughing stock of Olympus — and being punished for treason.
He made a brass wine goblet appear in his hand and brought it up to his mouth — and almost choked on the contents as the flash of white light tore the ether open and produced a white, floating silhouette surrounded with a bright halo; all of it rather disturbing, especially when his eyes reached the pale face and it struck him who he was looking at.
"Now that's quite a makeover — gotta give you that."
"I'm not who you think I am…"
He smirked; it really was strange, to look into those eyes and see them devoid of rage and chaos that had always been there. "I believe you — Callisto didn't use to dress in bedsheets and start a conversation with I'm not who you think I am."
"Hilarious as usual," she raised a brow at him with a little smile; now, that was more like Callisto, the hint of tease still there in her voice; not that it made the whole thing any less disturbing. He had seen the immortal goodie-goodies of the God of Eli before, the winged ones, but Callisto and the god of love — it was even more creepy than it was ridiculous.
"You're angry."
He snickered, his brows furrowing. "Well, if you're here for that, the timing's more than perfect."
"I'm here to help you."
"Help me with what?"
"If you understand your anger, you might stop doing things that hurt you in the end."
He took a sip from the goblet and sneered. "Hurt me? I'm sorry, I think you got the wrong god."
With a wave of her hand, she made a portal open in front of them, displaying a familiar silhouette, sitting under the tree, soothing the crying baby in her arms, wiping her face with the back of her hand.
He looked away, his chest expanding with a breath, heaviness spreading across it.
"Here's what hurts you. And scares you."
Arching his brows, he scoffed and drew another breath. "Thanks for counceling, but I'll pass."
He rose to his feet and, lazily, walked over to the altar, scanning through the array of offerings scattered all over it; and, while considering hurling a fireball to make it go up in flames, his thoughts drifted to one particular offering made to him once, several years back; quite unlike the regular, boring offerings mortals kept cluttering his altars with. No, that offering was quite memorable; the taste of it stayed and lingered; never ceased to.
And fucked him up like nothing ever had in his whole damn life.
He sighed heavily and turned back to Callisto, who was still blabbering something.
"…and you think you're angry at her because she didn't give in to your demands. But the truth is, you're angry at yourself — because you're afraid. Afraid for your life. And afraid that, if you sacrifice it for her, you'll be left with nothing."
He frowned, a bit unsettled by the mind-reading. "I'm a god — my life's not up for gamble."
"It's your choice, Ares," she said lightly. "I'm just making you understand."
"Well, thanks for the insight, but—"
"Your heart tells you to protect her, it's just your fear that stops you."
"You're with the God of Eli, of course you want me to protect her — her and the kid."
Her gaze turned intense, the corner of her lip going up in a smile; he never thought she could get more creepy than she used to be, but this—
"And it just so happens that this time, our interests align."
He arched his eyebrows. "Sorry to break it to you, but I have very little interest in keeping the kid alive and letting your god wipe out my family."
"It's not what you were ready to promise her last night..." she trailed off, making him want to wipe that damn smile off her face. "She thinks you lied. You didn't."
He smirked, shaking his head in amused disbelief. "So — you came here thinking your talking gibberish is gonna make me betray my family — you really think I'm that dumb?"
"Oh, Ares…" she went up higher in the air, hovering above him, her voice now resounding all around him. "You will betray your family… you already have. Not because of my talking gibberish. Because what you're feeling now is the most powerful force in the universe… it's growing strong in you, overpowering… you can feel it, don't you?" she said, her voice and her smile turning eerie, sending a tingle down his arms. "And, to answer your question — I do think you're dumb. Dumb and a coward. A coward, because you lack courage to take a risk for the woman you love. And dumb, because you expect her to love a coward."
Normally, he would've fried her with a fireball, but right now, he just blinked, stunned, the words echoing in his head; and didn't even notice when the white silhouette vanished.