Chapter Two – Text and Pictures

"This might be a weird question, but isn't there a bathroom on your tour bus?"

"There is, but the ventilation is rather poor, so we don't like to use it for… uh…"

"Number two?"

Spike chuckled. "Yeah, so we stop whenever someone has to… uh… avail themselves of the facilities."

"Well then, I guess I'm thankful for asshole ex-boyfriends and crappy bus bathroom ventilation."

Spike laughed. "Why's that, pet?"

"Because without those things, I wouldn't be talking to you right now, and I like talking to you. What did this one say?"

"He's not very creative, is he? This one was just a somewhat more vulgar variation of the first one I rang about."

"Peanut butter?"

"Yeah, only this time he said you liked more than one…"

"He's an asshole. We've covered this, and thanks for fixing it. Oh, could you say 'hi' to my friend? He doesn't believe I'm actually talking to Spike from Dingoes."

"Um… sure, I suppose."

"Okay, here he is."

"Hello? Is this really Spike? Like THE Spike?"

"It is. And who might you be?"

"I'm Xander, one of Buffy's best friends. How do I know you're really Spike and not some perv like all the other pervs who found her number?"

"I could take a snap and send it to Buffy's mobile if you like."

"Yeah, okay, but if there's anything even remotely sketchy about it… I will find you. Just a warning. Nobody messes with my Buffy."

"I completely understand your position, so name a pose or hand gesture you want me to do to prove it's a new photo and not one I've Googled. I'll have to use my right hand, though, bein' that I'm left-handed and not very well versed at takin' snaps of myself with my mobile."

"Um… Stick your finger up your nose."

"Don't think so, mate. Choose somethin' else."

"Okay, um… Prop your chin on your hand like you're thinking real hard about not being a creeper because I'll kick your ass."

Spike chuckled and said, "That I can do. I'll have to hang up, though. I'll ring her back in a few moments, all right?"

"Okay."

Spike ended the call then held up his phone and took a quick selfie in the requested pose. He texted it to Buffy then waited impatiently for almost twelve seconds before he dialed her number. When she answered, he heard her laughing as she said, "See? I told you it was really him. Hi, Spike. He believes me now."

"That's good, I suppose, and I'm glad you have a mate willin' to kick a bloke's arse for you, but… uh… lettin' people know that we've been conversing could draw unwanted attention to you. I have a bodyguard to keep the paparazzi and reporters from houndin' me, but you don't."

"Don't worry; I haven't posted it to the 'Gram or tweeted it or anything. I don't want people hanging out in my bushes or following me when I go to class, so I've only told my three closest friends, who have all been sworn to secrecy. Xan walked in just as I hung up with you last time and asked who I'd been talking to. I couldn't prove it then because your number comes up as unavailable, so I had to wait until you called back."

"I could give you my number if you want it. Then you could phone me."

"I'd really like that."

"All right. I'll have to text it to you just as soon as I find out what it is. There's only six or so people in the world who have this number, and my manager gave it to them when she got me the mobile."

"Is your phone Android or Apple?"

"Android."

"Go into settings – the little gear looking thing when you swipe down from the top – and pick About Phone toward the bottom of the list. Your number should be listed somewhere in there."

"Can I do that while I'm connected to you?"

"You can, but I have to go. Xander came to relieve me at the shop so I can go to the library to study for finals."

"All right, pet. I'll text you my number and then you'll be able to ring me when you have more time to talk."

"Okay. I'll text first, though, to make sure you're not busy or sleeping. And you can text me, too, if you want. We can talk that way while I'm in class and stuff."

"Sounds good. I don't text a lot, though, so I don't know all the abbreviations."

Buffy laughed. "I text full sentences, complete with punctuation and capitalization, so text however you want. Talk to you later, Spike. I really have to go."

"Talk to you later, Buffy."

XXXX

"Did you get the pictures I sent?"

"I did, pet. You have a lovely little shop. Can't wait to visit when I get back to California. What do you call it? I didn't see the shop's name anywhere."

"The Magic Box."

"Magic? Aside from the coffee, your inventory looked to be mostly books and assorted bric-a-brac, none of which I'd associate with the arcane arts."

Buffy chuckled, "Well, coffee is a magical potion that can turn a shuffling zombie into an alert, functional, productive member of society, and books can transport you to another time or place, you know… like magic."

"Ah. When you put it that way, The Magic Box is an excellent name."

"Thanks. I helped Mom choose it when she opened the shop. We'd narrowed it down to that one or The Book & Bean."

"That would have been an excellent name as well. Rolls nicely off the tongue. Your coffee is good, yes? Not much of a coffee drinker, but I'll give it a go."

"It's not just good, it's amazing. We have lots of different flavors and there's whipped cream and chocolate and caramel and cinnamon and other things. Some drinks are almost a meal in a cup."

"Sounds interesting. Can't wait to try it."

"I'll leave a note for whoever is playing barista to give you the 'friends' discount on your coffee."

Spike chuckled. "And how much will that save me, luv?"

"100% of the purchase price. I let my friends drink for free, since most of them work here."

"You givin' me that job then?"

Buffy burst out laughing. "Not unless you need a job, but if you think your current position is meeting your needs then you can just hang out."

"My current position keeps me in the lifestyle to which I've become accustomed. Only drawback is bein' away from home for so long. I'm gettin' tired of bouncin' 'round the country on this bus."

"Only three more weeks until the tour's over. Maybe don't schedule such a long one next time."

Spike chuckled wryly. "Not up to me, pet. Dru does all the tour scheduling, and since she and the band's assistant share the only bedroom on the bus, she's a bit more comfortable than us blokes. We're crammed into the bunks, two on each side of the aisle. There's a curved curtain that sort of creates a room, but the only time I get my own room is when we have more than a day between shows and Dru puts us up in a hotel."

"Who's your bunkmate?"

"Oz."

Buffy laughed. "Well… at least he's small."

"So's the sort-of room. Privacy isn't really possible in such cramped quarters, so we tend to get a bit 'friendlier' with each other than either of us would like, I think."

"Is it true that Oz hardly says anything?"

"Yeah. It's a rare occasion to hear more than a dozen or so words from him in a day, but when he does speak, you'd do well to listen. He has quite a lot goin' on in the brains department."

"He writes a lot of your songs, doesn't he?"

"He and I collaborate on most, but he's written several on his own. Even though he's not all that verbose, he does have a way with words."

"I wish I could do that… write music. I can put together a three-page essay about my coffee table, but any kind of poetry? I completely suck."

"I'm sure you have talents in other areas, pet. You must be good at maths, running a business."

Buffy laughed. "Nope. Buffy sucks at math, too. Willow, my other best friend, handles the books."

"What are you studying at university?"

"You're gonna laugh."

"No, I won't."

"Yes, you will."

"I promise I won't laugh. You can tell Xander if I do, and I'll let him kick my arse for it. He'll have to get past Brad first, though."

"Brad?"

"My bodyguard. He's a rather large pile of muscle who will gleefully fold, spindle, and mutilate anyone who threatens my person."

Buffy laughed. "He sounds nice."

"He's actually quite personable and very intelligent. I've known him since we were in high school, and we've had some interesting conversations about a myriad of subjects. Speaking of subjects, what are you studying? You can't see it, but I have my hand raised to swear I won't laugh."

"Okay. I'm studying… Kinesiology."

"See? I'm not laughing… mostly because I don't know what that is."

"It's the study of human movement. Like I said, I inherited the shop, but what I want to do is open my own dojo, and since Mom wanted me to go to college… well… I studied something to help with that. And yes, I took some business courses, too, but if it wasn't for Willow, I'd have failed them miserably."

"A dojo is somethin' to do with martial arts, yeah? Karate and the like?"

"Yeah. I'm a black belt in three disciplines, but you'd never know it to look at me. I'm tiny."

"Though she be but little, she is fierce!"

"That's Shakespeare or something, right?"

"Yeah. From 'A Midsummer Night's Dream.' So… you don't really need your mate to kick arse on your behalf, do you?"

Buffy laughed. "No, not at all, but he could kick your butt from here to the moon if he wanted. Brad's butt, too. He's been training with me since we were six, and he just earned his third black belt."

"I'll keep that in mind. Don't want either of you kickin' my arse. Dru would be brassed off were you to damage the talent, and though she be but little, she's fierce as well."

"So, was she your manager first or your girlfriend first?"

"Girlfriend. Met her at one of the after-parties a year or so after the blokes and I started this little adventure. She threw herself into the business after we got together, and she's sharp as a tack, so even though things went sour between us in the romance department, we've maintained our professional relationship. She's done wonderful things for the lads and I, and we probably wouldn't have gotten as far as we have without her. What 'bout you and Xander? Old flame?"

Buffy laughed. "Nope. He had a crush on me during high school but eventually figured out I'm not his type, what with the whole I'm a girl and he's gay thing. We're just really good friends, actually more like family, and he'll be my partner when we open the dojo. He's worked construction every summer since he was sixteen, and he's studying architecture, so he'll be the one designing it and helping to build it."

"What will you do with the shop once you've opened your dojo?"

"I'll sign over half ownership to Willow. She pretty much runs the place anyway, and her girlfriend, Tara, has some awesome ideas for expanding the business. She's Wiccan and wants to incorporate products and services having to do with that."

"So The Magic Box will have actual magical items?"

Buffy laughed. "Not like wands, cauldrons, or witch hats. Just crystals, candles, sage, things like that, and Tara wants to set up a small space for reading Tarot cards."

"Sounds like you have your future all mapped out, pet."

"Yeah, I have some big plans. They'll take a lot of hard work, but I'm excited to get started. What about you? What are your plans for the future?"

"Business-wise, I leave that up to Dru. Far as I know, once the tour's over, we're takin' two months off then headin' back into the studio to start workin' on our next album. After that… probably a few local shows, maybe another tour. I have no idea."

"What about not-business stuff? Do you have a house you need to work on? A car you need to fix? A dog you need to walk?"

"No house or dog. I share a flat with Oz that doesn't allow pets. I have a car, and yeah, it could do with some work, but I don't currently have the space to do that, not to mention I'm not allowed to drive myself anywhere, so it's sittin' in storage. Hadn't planned on buyin' a house until… well… until there'd be someone besides me – and possibly a dog – livin' in it. Don't really see the point otherwise. What 'bout you, pet? You said you'd sold your mum's house."

"I live in the apartment over the shop. Of course, there wasn't an apartment there when I sold the house, but I was living in the dorms then. Xander gutted the space and used the remodeling as a project for school and it turned out really nice. Three bedrooms, two bathrooms, huge living room and kitchen. I really like it. I probably won't buy a house, either. The apartment is big enough for a family if I ever get around to that."

"You live there by yourself?"

Buffy giggled. "Are you asking if I'm single again or are you being a creeper, 'cause Xander already warned you about that."

Spike stammered, "Uh… neither, actually, and I apologize for bein' presumptuous. It's just… it's a large flat, and I was…"

Buffy laughed. "You're so easy to wind up, Spike. It's really cute. And no, I don't live alone. Willow and Tara live with me. Xander did, too, until he moved in with his boyfriend."

Spike lifted his head as someone knocked on the wall beside his bunk. Drusilla pulled open the curtain and poked her head in. "We're here, Will. You have an interview at the local radio station in an hour."

He nodded. "All right, pet, I'll get myself together. Be out in ten."

She looked pointedly at the phone. "Who are you talking to?"

Spike smirked. "A friend. Be out in ten."

Drusilla huffed and closed the curtain. Spike chuckled softly as he spoke into the phone, "You hear any of that?"

"Let me guess… ex-girlfriend manager."

"Yeah. I have to get ready for the interview, so I'll have to ring off for now. Will you be available to talk later?"

"Um… yeah, I think so. I have some more studying to do, but hopefully it won't take long. I'll text you when I'm finished and if you're not busy, I'll call. Hey, since I sent you pictures of my shop, how about you send me some pictures?"

"Of what, pet?"

"Whatever."

"All right, luv. Talk to you later."