"So what's your plan, wise guy?" Stan shouldered his bat, looking expectantly at the dream demon. "You gonna find some unicorns for us to ride into the sunset?"

Bill gave him an unamused look and folded his arms stubbornly, strategically floating just out of Stan's reach. "I'll tell ya exactly how I'm gonna get us out of here, but first we need to make our deal binding." He extended his arm way out until it was within Stan's reach, ignoring Stan's slightly disturbed expression.

"Why? Isn't my word binding enough for you?" he raised an eyebrow defensively.

"Don't take this the wrong way, but… no. It's not." Bill's hand ignited in blue fire, making Stan jump back. "This makes the promise binding. No matter what happens, either both of us get out or neither of us do. Do we have a deal?"

After a moment of silence and Stan looking incredibly inconvenienced, a smile that made Bill uneasy crept onto it face. "Fine, but I get to name our terms."

Bill hesitated and almost retracted his arm, but made himself keep it extended. Whatever it took, right? "Fine. What are they?"

"I'll getcha to your friend, no questions asked, and in return, you will do anything I say. No questions asked. I say "jump", you say "how high?" That's my only condition."

The little alarms buzzing in his head were getting harder to ignore, but before Bill could second guess himself he grabbed Stan's hand, wincing when Stan squeezed it. Hard. "It's a deal."

Both parties were instantly encased in a cold blue fire that disappeared just as quickly.

Bill visibly relaxed after he took his arm back, shrinking it back to its normal size and feeling his color brighten. "Ok. Getting to your dimension." He cracked his knuckles. "It's really kinda stupid how simple it is. But it's also risky. I can manipulate any object I want, right?" He turned his hat into three heads and juggled them to demonstrate, each one making a comical boink sound every time he three them up again. "Well. Any flat object that is, which includes pictures and symbols. If I can change the pictures on the dice just before it lands, I might be able to change the result just enough to make us a path to your world."

Stan squinted doubtfully, "Or you could turn everything into cannoli for all eternity."

Bill shrugged, flipping his hat back onto his head neatly. "At least it would be tasty." At the glare from Fez he quickly continued. "Look, there's no sure and sane way to do this. If there were I would've found it and been outa here ages ago. What do you say, you're a gambling man, right?"

"I gamble on odds that I like," Stan retorted.

"Then ya better learn to like me real fast," Bill muttered.

Instead of getting angry at the quip Stan just rolled his eyes, like he couldn't believe he had to put up with this crap, which made Bill indignant for some reason.

Stan let all the breath out of his lungs as he slowly reached into his inside pocket and brought out the glowing blue dice. Just as Bill was about to tentetively take it Fez yanked it back as if he just thought of something, looking serious. "Just a second. You do realize that if you mess up, there's no going back, right?"

Bill hesitated a hair's breath away from the plastic casing, desperately fighting the urge to slap this man. Of course he realized that. He wasn't stupid. He was scared to death right now, if he was being honest. What the side-effects were even he couldn't know. And not knowing terrified him.

"Fez, you are really not helping."

Steeling himself he swiped the dice out of Stan's hand and ripped the lid off, rolling the almost smooth spherical shape across his digits, not allowing his mind a second more to worry about destroying the fabric of reality itself before tossing it up in the air, ignoring Stan squawking "Wait!" as he concentrated on that little golden ticket out of here.

Time seemed to slow down as the dice shifted and flickered a thousand times. It fell to the ground like molasses dripping, bouncing once.

Twice.

Thrice.

Bill touched his middle finger and thumb together.

It bounced one last time before falling resolutely on its side and Bill snapped his fingers.

Take that, Axolotl, he whispered to himself.

If time had slowed down before, it more than made up for it now. like a spark from a plug, Bill only thought of connection between him and Willl. The image of a path burned into his retina as he poured all his magic into conjuring up a reality. He didn't waste any energy thinking about anything else.

He opened his eye just in time to see the results: the symbols of two people on top of a straight line. A path.

And then darkness bubbled up around the two like ink and Bill felt a lurch. He had just enough time to glance at Stan as the old man gave him a resigned look. "See ya on the other side, wise guy."

Then the portal swallowed him whole.

…

Bill groaned, head lolling as his eyes fluttered dazedly at the much-too-bright light.

Wait.

Head.

Eyessssss(?)

His eyes flew open and he lurched upright into a sitting position, immediately regretting that decision. He whined and dug his fingers into his hair, pulling it as hard as he could. It hurt it hurt it hurt. He didn't think pain would be so… painful.

"Woah, easy kid. You're gonna be as follically challenged as I am." Bill blinked up blearily, seeing Fez's silhouette in the haze, offering a hand. He hesitantly took it and yelped at how easily Stan yanked him to his feet. "You shoulda been a bean-stalk in your dimension," he muttered. "Almost didn't recognize you."

Bill grabbed onto a birch tree to steady himself as he looked down, plain white pajama-like clothes dangled on his bony frame, knobby knees knocking against themselves weakly. He managed to whistle. "Well, whaddya know," he whispered. I'm a flesh sack now.

"Welcome to the real world, kid."