For the next hour or so they trained by alternating between bodyweight exercises, punching bags, and knife throwing. It was their typical routine, but Tobias could feel more tension in the air than normal. It could easily be his own thoughts getting in the way, which wasn't uncommon. Bea hadn't asked him why he was late yet, but he could tell that she was glancing at him more than normal. He wondered if she thought she could figure out the answer without asking him.

He didn't want to lose her. And he was almost positive that she would leave him once she learned the truth. Either because of how ugly it was or because of how long he had hidden it from her. He didn't want her to know how broken he was and how messed up his life was, especially if it meant she refused to associate with him because of it.

She deserved the truth, though. And he would be damned if he didn't give her everything she deserved, or at least as much of it as he could. Which meant coming clean.

He hated Marcus. Even without meaning to, he was still managing to get in the way of the only thing Tobias had come to care about and who cared about him. His fists pounded against the leather of the punching bag harder, stinging underneath their cloth wrapping. Anger flowed from his fists into the bag. Why couldn't he have had a normal childhood, following a dad to dinners and helping a mom with the Factionless? Why did his mom have to die? Was he not good enough for her, just like he wasn't good enough for Marcus?

The punching bag swung at each hit. Sweat beaded on his forehead, but Tobias hardly noticed. Frustration clouded his focus until he felt a small hand touch his shoulder. The welts from earlier stung at the pressure while he jumped in surprised.

"Tobias?" Bea asked softly, "you okay?" Her gaze moved from the swinging bag to meet Tobias' eyes. Her grey eyes were filled with concern and her eyebrows furrowed together. He hated seeing her like that. Especially since it was his fault.

"Yeah. I just….I had a bad night that's all." It wasn't a complete lie. Even though he was just being vague about it, he felt like he was adding another brick to a brick wall that stood between them.

He took a break from punching to put his hands on his head and take deep breaths. Bea nodded before moving to stand in front of him so that she faced Tobias. She grabbed his hands, looking into his eyes. He hoped she didn't notice how his hands were shaking. If she asked why he wasn't sure if he could answer. It could be from being so close to her, the sudden fatigue he was feeling, or from the pain in his back. Or all of it.

"You know you can tell me anything, right?" He appreciated how Bea's voice stayed quiet. It helped his nerves ease a bit. He raised his eyebrows in question. What he had to tell her would almost certainly scare her off. "I'm serious. We've known each other for over two years now. I think it's safe to say you can trust me."

He shook his head. Scenes where he told her and she got upset and left in various ways flashed through his mind. In all the scenarios he was left broken in the training room, everything left untouched by his father shattered.

"I don't want to scare you." His voice was hardly a whisper, but the shake of her head told him that she heard him. "Plus, I don't think you'll believe me." After all, who would believe him over Marcus? Typically, the answer was no one.

But Bea was anything but typical.

"Yes, I would." She whispered. Still holding his hands, she guided him to sit down on the raised platform meant for fighting. They sat across from each other while Bea maintained careful eye contact with Tobias. "You are my friend and friends trust each other. I can tell there is something you aren't telling me. I don't want to pry, but it's hurting you. And I really, really, hate to see that."

Tobias winced. "You would believe me over my father?" He didn't want to hear the answer, but it was necessary.

She kept eye contact, never looking away for a second. Her head tilted forwards in a nod. "Yes."

Tobias sighed. He took a moment to take a deep breath, unable to believe it was actually happening.

"Marcus he-he hits me."

He hated the word 'abuse.' He found it ugly and he didn't like how it made him seem to be even more broken than he already was. So he avoided it. He wasn't sure that he had ever uttered the word. Why would he? Who would listen to him?

Bea's breath caught in her throat. In the moment it took her chest to begin to rise and fall again, fear flooded through Tobias's body. His fingers and toes began to numb and moving felt near impossible, yet every nerve in his body was telling him to run.

"What?"

"I'm sorry, I-I can go. I'm really sorry. Forget I said anything." The words couldn't tumble out of his mouth quickly enough. Run. Run away.

"Hey, no, Toby." Bea squeezed his hands, keeping him from leaving and grounding him back to the training room. "I-I'm so sorry. You're so strong. So brave."

She believed me. She didn't leave me.

"You believe me?"

"Of course, Toby. You're my friend." She shook her head. The trail of a tear glistened down her cheek. "It-It makes sense. I'm sorry I never realized."

Tobias let out a hoarse laugh, which sounded partly like he was choking because of the emotion in his throat. Of course Bea, the one person who didn't need to apologize, was apologizing.

"Bea, this isn't your fault. At all. You shouldn't have realized. I hid this from you. I didn't want you to find out." The words felt like concrete in his mouth. He hated putting her in this situation. Hated that he exposed the mess of his life to her. The last thing he wanted was for her to feel guilty. It was mostly his fault, anyway. For being a subpar son and for disappointing Marcus so deeply.

Her hands left his, and for a moment he worried that she had decided to leave because she didn't know how to handle him. Instead, her arms wrapped around him gently in a hug. She smelled of warmth and of what he thought home was supposed to smell like. He felt the tension in his shoulders loosen and he let himself relax into the hug.

"Do you want to talk about it?" She asked, pulling back from their embrace. "You don't have to, of course. But if you want to talk, I'm here. And I'm not going to tell." She paused. "Unless you want me to of course."

"No, no please don't tell." He missed her warmth already. "Trust me. No one will believe you. If they do, there's nothing they can do. Marcus is too powerful."

"Tobias I'm so sorry."

He shook his head. "It's ok. I'm used to it at this point. I've gotten really good at managing it."

"You shouldn't have to be, though. What he's doing to you isn't okay by any means. You haven't deserved anything he may have done to you." Tobias shook his head. It hurt too much to consider that he didn't deserve anything Marcus did to him. There had to be a reason. There had to be something wrong with him to warrant Marcus's actions. Why else would he be so cruel?

"He-" his voice cracked while tears welled in his eyes and the knot in his throat grew thicker. He couldn't let her see him cry, he couldn't appear even weaker in front of her. "He uses his belt to hit me a lot of the time. He used to hurt my mom before-before she died. She tried to protect me but-but couldn't. He still blames me for that."

"How can he live with himself doing this to you? You're so, so good. And kind and selfless and thoughtful. He should be protecting you, not beating you." She met his gaze once more. This time he saw anger in them. Bright and fiery.

"He tells me it's for the greater good. That I'm not selfless enough and that...that I am a sorry excuse of a son who doesn't deserve him as a father, and… and…" The tears overwhelmed him and began to stream down his cheeks. There was no hope holding them back. His chest hurt from breathing so quickly. "That I would be more use being dead than to be alive as the burden I am to him."

"That's not true, Toby. At all. That's so not true." She grabbed his hands once again. "Tell me you know that isn't true."

He shook his head slightly, scared to disappoint her even more but lacking the energy to lie to her more. More tears rolled from her eyes.

"Toby." Her voice was choked up, thick with tears. "We'll work on that. It's the truth, you're going to believe it someday."

"Ok," His voice was also thick with tears at this point. For a moment they sat in silence, catching their breath. Tobias felt lightheaded. It began to ebb away into a slight headache as he took deep breaths. He was still holding hands with Bea. He gently pulled his hands from her smaller ones and wrapped his arms around her smaller frame into a hug.

"Bea?" He mumbled it into her hair, which was soft under his chin.

"Yeah?"

"Do you...still trust me? Even after I kept this from you?" There was a pause, then Bea took a deep breath in.

"Yes, Toby. I do." He let out a sigh of relief. "You had your reasons, and I'm in no place to judge you for hiding it from me. I probably would have done the same if I were in the same position."

Images of Marcus taking out his relentless anger on Bea flash through Tobias's head. He cringed at the idea of Marcus even looking at her, let alone touching her. He shook the thoughts from his head. That would never happen if he had any say at all.

"Ok, thank you." He pulled back from their embrace, letting his hands rest on her forearms. Knowing she was there, physically, was reassuring. It grounded him. She wasn't pulling away, either, so he figured she couldn't be too uncomfortable with it. "I'm sorry though, for hiding it from you."

She shook her head, a small smile gracing her lips. "Thank you for telling me, Toby. For trusting me." He smiled back, especially from the nickname. He loved that she felt comfortable enough with him to use his nicknames.

"And thank you, for believing me and for not pitying me." He glanced at the clock, realizing how late it was. "Are you good if we start to get going? It's late. And you for sure need sleep." She nodded, getting up before him. They began to walk out before she turned around to stop him.

"Can we promise each other no more secrets?"

Tobias nodded. Now that she knew about Marcus, there wasn't much else about himself to hide anyways. "I promise."

She smiled, fully this time, filling his stomach with those damn butterflies.

After walking back to the neighborhood, Bea turned towards Tobias.

"You chose Wednesdays as our rest day because the leadership meetings are then, aren't they?" He shouldn't have been surprised that she figured that out already. Her mind worked so quickly. "Guess you won't have to be alone next time."

Before he could wrap his head around what she meant, she was gone. Leaving him with butterflies and a confused grin.

(Past A/N)

Hey guys! I just finished watching Allegiant and adored it. The trailers barely compare to the movie. Are there differences between that and the book? Yes. But isn't that how it is with every book to movie adaptation?

Thank you so much for reading :)

DFTBA,

thebooktrooper