Nine months. Nine months until she would abandon her faction—and family—to transfer to Dauntless.
There were only nine hours until she saw Tobias, though. In the training room, just like old times. She found herself hoping with everything she had for Marcus to be in a good mood after work that night. Normally it wasn't possible for her to train at night, Marcus took care of that. So, she switched to training during the mid-afternoon.
She couldn't avoid Marcus's wrath anymore, which warranted small risks meaningless. Her beating each night would always be inevitable.
There was no way Tobias was going to forget to ask her about Marcus. While she had gotten better at lying—it was necessary while living with Marcus—she wasn't sure if she could pass off her life since Visiting Day as normal.
She supposed 'normal' was subjective.
Her necklace hung limply on her neck. Even though it made her immensely anxious to think about what Marcus would do if he found it, the piece of jewelry helped ground her and kept her emotions in check. She quickly made a habit of rubbing it whenever she was alone. The grooves of the engraving and the stone had grown familiar over the months. The familiarity helped ease the yearning that burned in her chest for Toby, dampening it to an almost tolerable amount. As much as she didn't like the idea of him spending so much money on her, she had to admit—it was a good gift.
It gave her something to think about and acted as a reminder of how close she was to eventually escaping Abnegation, which was enough to help her dissociate during the beatings. It had only taken a week for Marcus to start getting physical with her and another week until she stopped giving in to the urge to fight back his insults with more insults. Resisting only made him angrier and more violent.
As much as it went against everything inside of her, she eventually stopped putting up a fight and she smothered her spark before he could put it out himself. Beatrice was almost grateful; it was so much easier to just go with the flow mindlessly and without any resistance.
That's why this new feeling in her chest was so refreshing; the feeling of anticipation grew every hour because it was one hour closer to when she would get to see Tobias.
She hadn't seen anyone, other than Marcus, since she moved in.
Actually, she had seen her family once since moving in though not for very long. Long enough for them to make clear how little they wanted to do with her. Apparently, reputation was incredibly important in their town of selfless people. Because that made sense, apparently.
She slept in Toby's room. It still smelt a bit like him, which was the only redeemable quality of this god-forsaken house. There were even some of his old clothes left, which she would wear sometimes over her dress. There wasn't much difference between male and female clothing, other than the distinction between skirts and pants, so everything was fair game; she could easily pass for wearing Toby's clothes. Wearing them made her feel safe and comforted. She made a rule, though, that she could only wear them after beatings or on particularly rough days. It was her attempt at preserving his scent for as long as possible.
Beatrice prepared dinner like normal, similar to how she used to help Tobias. Thankfully, she learned all of the necessary tricks from him during their few cooking sessions.
Give Marcus the bigger portion.
Slightly overcook the peas.
Extra salt on the chicken.
Information garnered at Toby's expense—they were all things he had been beaten for when he unknowingly got them wrong. While thankful, Beatrice felt guilty that she had it so easy in comparison. She was finishing up the plates and putting them on the table when she heard the door open.
"Hello, Marcus." She greeted him politely, bowing her head as a sign of greeting before going to get his beer and her cup of water. She knew from Toby that he drank much more than the typical Abnegation was 'supposed' to drink, but it was still shocking to experience it firsthand while living with him.
Marcus sat his briefcase down next to the table and sat down. "Hello, Beatrice."
"How was work?" She sat down opposite him, waiting for him to take the first bite just like he had told her. As much as she hated obeying him, she couldn't afford to anger him that night. She needed to see Toby.
"It went well, thank you for asking."
They fell into an uncomfortable silence, just like every other night at his dinner table. She ate her over-seasoned chicken while Marcus stared at her, his gaze intense like he was trying to stare into her soul. She tried to act like it didn't bother her, but she still fidgeted in her seat. Beatrice tried to ignore Marcus by thinking instead of Toby's face, and how she would see him in just a few hours. Maybe they could do what they did in the chasm back on Visiting Day...
"Beatrice?" Her head snapped up. Dammit, she must have zoned out too long.
"Yes?"
"You must start paying attention more." His eyes blazed. Never a good sign. "Clean up the kitchen. I have paperwork that needs to be done by tomorrow. After that, I'll meet you in your room."
Of course he would. Just as he had every night for the past weeks.
Beatrice stood up and began to take their plates and cups over to the sink where she added the dishes she had used for cooking and started the water. She scolded herself for not paying attention. Now he was going to be mad about something and make her beating longer.
Before she could process, Beatrice felt a hand wrap around her neck causing her to freeze in shock. Marcus pulled off her necklace, snapping the clasp in the process. Beatrice was left with a harsh sting around her neck where the metal had pulled against it.
"Oh Beatrice, I thought I had taught you better than this." He gestured at the necklace. "Did he give this to you? Boy must have been even more stupid than I gave him credit for. Gone for a month and he forgets the rules we follow here. Did he tell you to wear it? What does it say, Forever and Always? How pathetic."
Tears burned in the back of her eyes as she looked at the necklace that Marcus held in his hand. Her stomach dropped, weighed down with dread and regret. She should have hidden it. She should have hidden it. God, why didn't she hide it somewhere?
"He didn't make me wear anything." She snapped without thinking. Marcus smiled cruelly.
"Of course he didn't. You're stupid enough to love him and to disobey faction rules just to follow him like a stupid lovesick puppy." He scoffed. "Go to your room, I'll deal with you later."
She walked upstairs, water still running down the sink.
How could she have been so selfish? She knew she shouldn't have worn that necklace, especially once Marcus started watching her like a hawk. It would have been safe in the training room, or even in her desk drawer while Marcus was home. Now it was gone, and he was going to enter into a rage which meant she almost definitely wouldn't get to see Tobias.
What if he thought she abandoned him? She wouldn't even be able to explain until she transferred to Dauntless. That was if he let her explain.
Half an hour passed before Marcus opened her door, still glaring at her.
"I thought we were getting somewhere Beatrice. This is for your own good." Before she could react, Beatrice was pushed to the floor. She pulled her shirt up slowly, immensely uncomfortable with how much of her body she was revealing to Marcus. She heard the belt whip in the air before cracking against her back. Biting on her knuckles, Beatrice tried not to scream or cry. It would only anger him further.
Marcus continued whipping her relentlessly. The pain made her dizzy, but she tried to stay awake on the off chance she would still be able to visit Toby. Once Marcus started kicking her sides, it became too much. She fell in and out of lightheadedness; black dots expanded to cover her sight. When Marcus stopped, she blearily watched the carpet move underneath her as she was dragged towards the closet. He passed the one in the hallway, and Beatrice, half-conscious in pain, realized he was bringing her to his room. He pushed her inside an even smaller closet and the door slammed shut in front of her. Without a second thought, she let herself fade into sleep, grateful for its escape from pain.
Downstairs, the water continued to run over still dirty dishes.
Initiation was over at last. After a month of fighting and competition and watching his back constantly, Tobias finally finished first in his class. It wasn't a surprise to anyone, but he still felt proud of himself. He couldn't wait to tell Bea.
The day was filled with parties and food and celebration, all of which were incredibly non-Abnegation. Tobias had never drunk alcohol before and decided he didn't like it after one sip each of beer and wine. Altogether, Tobias had learned he didn't like alcohol nor did he want to like it. He didn't want to drink and turn into his father, but the taste was another good excuse to avoid it. Plus, he didn't like losing control to the substance. He enjoyed parties for the first half hour and then was fed up and ready to leave. He was tired of constantly being persuaded to join Dauntless leadership.
At least he had an incredible apartment.
He couldn't help but think about how perfect it would be for him and Bea. There were two bedrooms, a kitchen, a living room, and a balcony. He had only lived there for one day, but he found himself imagining them living together. Bea waiting for him in the kitchen, waking up to her laying next to him, cuddling with her on his couch. It was hard to think about, though, knowing it wouldn't be true for another year or so. But the wait was going to be worth it.
She was worth it.
He was going to visit her that night, around midnight. The parties would still be raging in the compound, but most people would be too drunk to care. Not that anyone in Dauntless would normally care. It was nice not to have to sneak around as much. Overall, it was just good.
Later that night Tobias ran and caught a train on the way to Abnegation. He was well adapted to jumping on and off trains now, it felt like second nature. He learned it was a showy activity for most Dauntless, they only did it when other factions were around. When it was just them, and they weren't in a competitive mood or training for initiation, much less jumping was involved. Tobias still enjoyed it, though. He liked the feeling of adrenaline that rushed through him as he ran to catch up with the train cart and when the wind whipped through his hair as he jumped out.
He reached the training room where he and Bea typically met and hesitated before opening the door. Would she be there? Of course she would, she promised. Plus, it was Bea. She loved him.
He opened the door, blinking quickly as the lights flickered on. No one was in sight.
The room was obviously still in use. He chuckled when he saw gloves laying around and a knife or two out by the targets. Bea never was one for impeccable organization. It was reassuring to know she was still training. But where was she?
He settled in the room for half an hour, hoping she was just late for whatever reason. When the clock hit 12:45, he began to believe the sinking feeling in his chest that told him she wasn't going to meet him. Disappointment ate away at his heart but he tried to push it away.
Marcus
No. No, no, no. It couldn't be. Just a month ago she said she was fine. She promised she would stay away from him. Bea was smart, she was careful.
Marcus doesn't care about any of that.
Tobias ran out of the training room and towards his old neighborhood. He ignored the panic that began building in his chest. All the strength and security he built up while at Dauntless drained away as he got closer to his house. Closer to Marcus. He reached the back of the house and climbed the tree that reached up to his old window. The window opened without a squeak and Tobias slipped through the crack just like he did a few months previous. It was all too familiar.
His room was empty. Most things were in the same place as it was the day he left. He trailed his fingers along a red streak on the wall. Blood. Was that there before? Probably. It was where his dresser used to be, so he wouldn't be surprised if the stain was there before and Marcus covered it up with the dresser. There was no sign of Bea.
The closet.
If Marcus found out he was there, he was dead. In both Abnegation and Dauntless. He would be seen as a faction traitor from both factions. He would become Factionless the day after his initiation. How ironic.
He just wouldn't get caught.
Tobias slowly twisted the door open and quietly walked towards the hallway closet. He tried the handle and found it to be unlocked. And empty.
She's not there.
Tobias wasn't sure how to feel. Relieved, but even more confused. Why had Bea not come? Was she caught up with something at home? Did she not want to visit him? What was going on?
He returned to the training room and scribbled a quick note for Bea. He wasn't willing to give up hope on her yet. Not after all of their years together. This might just be a bad night. Things happen. Tobias sighed and jogged towards the train station, hopping on the next cart headed towards Dauntless. He let the wind chill him to the bones, deciding it was easier to focus on the feeling of cold rather than the multitude of thoughts spinning through his head.
Everything would be ok. They were ok. This meant nothing. Right?