There's been a lot of Tris POV lately...I thought I would switch it up a bit and give Tobias a turn! Hope you enjoy!
Tobias POV
I wake up to the annoying sound of my alarm clock. Groaning, I hit the stop button multiple times before it shuts up. I slowly sit up and stretch, taking my time. Capture the flag last night lasted until two in the morning, leaving the transfers and me with a solid four hours of sleep if we were lucky. Exhaustion clouds my brain as I change into my training gear and head into my kitchen. I grab a cup of coffee and a bagel, not trusting my stomach with something heavy.
I walk towards the training room, my Four mask growing every step. The caffeine does its job, and by the time I reach the training room I feel as if I had a ten-hour sleep. It'll wear off by lunch, but hey, that's what the coffee bar is for.
The initiates don't have to be here for another half hour, however, Tris is already fighting a punching bag in the corner. I chuckle and shake my head.
"Why am I not surprised that you're already here?" I ask, throwing away my coffee cup. I head over to the supply closet and begin to take out the targets. The sound of fists against tough leather stop. "How long have you been here?"
"What time is it?" Her voice sends warmth down my spine. Footsteps echo off the walls as she walks over to me and takes out a target.
"Six-thirty," I reply, taking the target from her unwrapped hands. Dried blood is sprinkled against the pale skin of her knuckles. "Stop, let me do this. Wrap your hands before you hurt them more."
"It's fine, they barely hurt." She mutters. Heading back into the closet she emerges with another target. "Let me help you."
"Fine," I sigh, "and you never answered my question." I cross the room and begin to set up the targets. Bea lines hers up with mine and sighs.
"Well, I've been here since four, so two and a half hours?" I look at her.
"Bea, that means you only got two hours of sleep. That's not healthy." It reminds me of when I was in initiation. Nightmares kept me up for half the night, leading me to practice all morning in the training room to keep the disturbing images from my mind.
She simply shrugs. "I'm not that tired. Plus I got a little sleep before capture the flag, so really I got four hours. I'm fine." I shake my head.
"No, you're not. You had a hard night, four hours of sleep, and have already had a high-intensity workout for nearly three hours. Does that not seem the smallest bit insane?" By now I've set up all the targets, and have started to set up the knives.
Bea's small hand gently touches my shoulder. I twist around, my eyes meeting hers.
"You don't need to worry about me, ok? I'm alright, I feel fine right now. I want to make sure I can stay in Dauntless and I…I needed to let some frustration out. That's all."
"You know you can tell me anything Bea, right? Your problems are my problems, I've told you this before. I'm not going to judge you or be mad at you. I'm here for you." Her gray blue eyes flick back and forth, taking in my face. Carefully, I bring my hand up and cup her face. Her eyelids flutter shut, revealing her gentle eyelashes. "I love you," I whisper before bringing my lips to meet hers.
The kiss isn't harsh or passionate. It's gentle and reassuring. Slowly we both lean back.
"I definitely feel alright now," Bea jokes. I chuckle and roll my eyes.
"You have nothing to worry about Bea. You've been rocking initiation, and you're going to rock the lesson today. We're throwing knives." Her eyes brighten at the mention of the lesson and I smirk. It always was her favorite thing to practice. "I hope you kept practicing after I left."
"Of course I have." She groans, "I'm going to have to pretend I'm not good at it, aren't I?" I nod.
"Only for a little bit," I say, "Then you can rock it and blow everyone else out of the water." She chuckles. I glance at the clock, and then back at the door. The other initiates should be here any second.
"I'm going to go wash up a bit, wrap my hands like you said," Tris says. I nod and kiss the top of her head quickly before she leaves. I sigh before picking up four knives and facing a target. Taking a deep breath in, I am the knife and throw it on my exhale. Bulls-eye. Perfect.
"Good to know your aim hasn't changed at all." I roll my eyes and turn to see Eric standing behind me, arms crossed and smirk on his face.
"Do I really need to prove that to you? Why don't I just use your head as a target for the demonstration this morning." Eric's eyes narrow.
"Careful, Tobias, don't forget who's really in charge here. You aren't in any place to make threats." I flinch at his use of my name. Eric says it just like Marcus did, threatening and with hatred.
I walk towards the target to retrieve my knife and then walk back and put it with the other three on the rack. The initiates begin to walk in, and Tris goes to stand next to a girl with mocha skin...Christina, I think her name is. The one I yelled at on the first day.
Eric clears his voice before speaking, "Tomorrow will be the last day of stage one, you will resume fighting then. Today, you will learn knife throwing. Now take three knives and watch as Four demonstrates." No one moves, "Now!"
Initiates scramble for the daggers. I wince, scaring them into going this fast won't be good. They'll slip up and make a mistake. I watch for a moment as the initiates adjust to holding the knives. They aren't what they are used to, and will take awhile to get the hang of. Bea, I know, could hit bullseye on her first try. I'm hoping that won't happen.
Taking my time, I head to the knife stand and pick three up. Twirling one between my fingers, I stand in front of a target. Inhaling, I aim, exhaling, I shoot. Dead center.
A small smirk grows on my lips, and I repeat the steps for the remaining two knives. Eric grunts, annoyed at my success.
"Line up!" He yells. Each initiate takes a target and begins to throw. No one hits the target, or anywhere remotely close for a long time which is normal. Throwing a knife requires a force and aim that they haven't experienced yet. That doesn't soothe my pacing, and I settle behind Tris. She still hasn't thrown, probably figuring out how to look good without drawing attention to herself.
"Hey Stiff! Remember what a target is?" Her jaw clenches and her shoulders tighten. Before I can blink she's thrown the knife and it hits the target with a satisfying clunk. Bullseye.
Peter's knife misses his target once more, "Hey Peter, remember what a target is?" She says back. I hold back a laugh, though the realization of what she has done sinks in. She's made herself a target. Everyone in the room is staring at her, mouths open. Eric slowly walks over to her.
"Where did you learn that?" Her eyes turn cold, defiant.
"I just copied Four. You know, the instructor who actually teaches." My eyebrows raised in shock. An audible gasp spreads through the room. No one is throwing anymore, all eyes are trained on Tris. Please, Bea. Please just be quiet for once.
Eric leans in close to her, lips brushing her ear. I tense up.
"Careful, initiate." He stands straight once more. "What are you doing? I never said to stop!"
A half hour later, I've paced the room nearly fifty times and everyone has hit the target besides the Candor. And Eric is starting to get frustrated.
His knives either hit the floor or bounce off the wall. The next time he misses, Eric stalks up to him. I bite my cheek in anticipation. This isn't good.
"How slow are you, Candor? Do you need glasses? Should I move the target closer to you?" Eric yells straight in his face, and the poor kids face turns bright red. I would be surprised if he passes stage one. He's very close to the bottom, and from the looks of this, he is only going to get lower.
Al tries to throw another knife, but it misses again.
"What was that initiate?"
"It, it slipped," Al said. I shake my head. If you're going to make up an excuse at least think of a good one.
"Well, I think you should go get it." All other initiates immediately stop throwing, scared of what Eric is doing. To be fair, I am as well. "Did I tell you to stop?"
The soft sound of knives hitting the board begins again, though slower this time. Al says something quietly, and Eric replies. The silver piercing in his eyebrow moves as his eyebrows furrow together.
"No," All says defiantly. I'm surprised he has the guts to speak up to Eric. Just go get your knife kid. No one's going to hit you.
"Why not? Are you afraid?" Eric's beady eyes gleam.
"Of getting stabbed by an airborne knife? Yes, I am!" That was a mistake. He took it too far this time. Eric is pissed now.
"Everybody stop!" Eric yells. "Clear out the ring, everyone but you." Eric glares at Al. The initiates gather at the edge of the room, inching forward to get the best look. I notice Bea hides in the back, and I grimace. She doesn't want to see this any more than I do.
"Stand in front of the target," Eric hisses. "Four, can you give me a hand?"
Reluctantly, I walk over knife in hand. This is the last thing I want to do. My mind is foggy from exhaustion, the last thing I need to do is be a tool in Eric's wrath.
"You're going to stand there while he throws those knifes until you learn not to flinch."
"Is this really necessary?" It's not a smart move, I'm already on Eric's bad side for winning last night and for earlier. But I can't do this without standing against it. This is disgusting, I feel like my father.
"I have the authority here, remember? Here and everywhere else." I gulp, and turn towards Al. He is visibly shaking by the target. I grip the knives harder. This makes me sick.
"Stop it. " A familiar voice echoes through the room. I curse under my breath. Tris.
I turn around and look at her. She's pushed her way through the group of initiates. Fire burns in her eyes. Her hands are in tight fists.
"Any idiot can stand in front of a target, it doesn't prove anything except that you're bullying us. Which, as I recall, is a sign of cowardice." I let out a breath slowly through my mouth. She just roasted Eric in front of the entire group for the second time today. She really needed to stop doing that.
"Then it should be easy for you if you're willing to take his place." No. No, no, no, no, no. I can't do this. Al is one thing, throwing knives at Tris? At Bea? The thought makes me want to throw up.
Slowly, she walks up. Giving Al a small reassuring smile before trading places with him at the target. She sends me a quick glance, I'm sorry.
Shaking my head, I stare at her trying to blur out her face. If I just pretend it's someone else, maybe I can do this.
"Are you sure, Stiff?" The nickname is like paste on my tongue, but I force myself to say it. I see her flinch, eyes turning cold.
"Ready when you are." I smirk. Twisting the knife between my fingers, I scan the target looking for a safe spot to throw first. Inhale, aim carefully, exhale, shoot. The knife hits the target with a clunk. I breath a sigh of relief.
"Eyes up here," I say, pointing in between my eyes. "Remember, if you flinch, Al takes your place." She nods, raising her eyes straight towards mine. My heartrate increases tenfold. Why did I think this was a good idea.
Inhale, aim, exhale, shoot.
The second knife hits closer to her, right above her head barely touching her hair. I see her breath a sigh of relief. My stomach clenches with guilt. Glancing at Eric I see him nod his head. It's my last knife, and I haven't hurt her yet. He'll make me keep doing this if I don't hit her.
Somehow, my worst fear is unfolding right here in the training room. I close my eyes and quickly try to think of the least painful place for me to hit. Her ear. Opening my eyes I stare at her, trying to apologize with my eyes. Breathing, I aim for her ear. The knife leaves my hand. Before I can turn away I see the shock in her eyes. The pain, the betrayal. It's too much for me to bare.
"As much as I would love to see if all of you are that brave, training is over. Pick up your knives and leave." Eric says, disappointment lacing his voice. The initiates drop their knives in a bucket to be wiped off and leave, Eric following them.
As soon as they are gone I run off to the bathroom. Leaning over a toilet my breakfast leaves me. My mind replays the last few seconds over and over. The blood dripping down her ear...the pain in her eyes...the betrayal.
Washing out my mouth I leave the bathroom feeling only slightly better. I doubt Tris stayed behind. I wouldn't be surprised if she doesn't talk to me again. What I did was sick...pathetic...cowardly.
"What the hell was that?" Her voice echoes louder this time. I turn to face Tris at the door. Blood streams down her ear, some starting to dry and some fresh.
"I'm sorry I-"
"No, sorry doesn't cut it. You threw a knife at my ear and cut me. Why? You didn't have to do it. You know, if you want to break up you could just tell me. You don't have to go out of your way to hurt me." I take a step back, shocked. Is that what she thinks?
"What? No, Tris, Bea, that's not it at all!"
"Then what was it? Because you looked perfectly fine doing it too! No guilt, remorse, nothing!"
"Don't tell me how I feel," I say, my voice low. "I just fucking threw up in a bathroom because I feel so guilty! And you want to tell me I did it without remorse?" Her eyes are wide by now, looking at me shocked. "Eric wants to hurt you, Tris. Oh, he wants to hurt you bad. You made fun of him twice today, in front of everyone. No one gets away with that. If I didn't hit you, he would have. And trust me, it wouldn't have been in such a painless spot."
"Painless?" I nearly roll my eyes.
"Yes, or nearly at least. Your Helix has very little nerves in it, so yeah it bleeds but it doesn't hurt much." I shake my head, "Fuck, Tris I feel awful! My stomach is clenched up so tight and gosh I just want too…" My head spins trying to think of something. Sweat drips down my neck, and I realize that I'm shaking. Tears begin to escape my eyes.
A small hand touches my arm. "No, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have yelled at you. I had no right to have said what I said."
"No, you had every right. I hurt you, on purpose. I should be expecting you to break up with me...I'm just like Marcus." We both flinch at the name. She shakes her head.
"No, you aren't. Tobias, you are nothing like that monster. Nothing." Her voice is determined and strong. "Look at me," my eyes find her gray ones, "I still love you, Tobias. I understand why you did it now. I had to right to yell at you before I knew the reason. It was stupid of me, and it hurts to know how much you are beating yourself up about this." I shake my head.
"I don't deserve you, Tris."
"And I don't deserve you. We could go through this for hours, but we won't get anywhere. Come on, let's stand up. There you go, do you need some water?" I'm shaking less now, and the sweating has stopped. nausea has disappeared, and my stomach has become less of a knot.
"No, but do you want to come to my apartment and get something to eat? You don't have training for the rest of the day, and you must be starving." She looks down for a moment. "Plus I could help you clean up your ear."
"Sure, I'll catch up with Christina and Will later. Let's get something to eat."
"If you had something planned-"
"No, it can wait. Let's have lunch." I give her a tight smile.
"Great, let's go."
There you guys go! That's a long chapter (nearly 3k! I think that's the longest of the story so far!). Don't expect much more to be like this, but I feel y'all deserve this. School just started for me, so I won't be updating as much (or I don't think I will be, who knows) so here's an extra long chapter. I hope it was worth the wait!
Anyways, I have a question for you guys. When I write the chapter where Tris tells Tobias about what happened in Abnegation, would you want me to write it in both her POV and Tobias' POV? I would update one and probably upload the other as a one-shot story. Would you guys want that? And if so, which one would you want as a one-shot and which should go in the story? I would love for you to review and let me know! Thank you so much for all of your support, it means the world. You guys are the greatest, I appreciate all that you do 3 Until next time!