Tris POV
I can't believe Visiting day is tomorrow. Will my mom come? Will my dad? Will Caleb? I doubt it, they didn't care about me in Abnegation, I doubt they would care enough to come visit me now. Especially Caleb. But what if they do? Should I introduce them to Toby? Reintroduce them really. If I do do I introduce him as my boyfriend?
What scares me most is the possibility of Marcus coming. He must be furious about me transferring, especially right after Tobias transferred. It not only makes Abnegation look bad but since he is a leader, all the blame lands on his head. I don't know what I would do if he comes. Facing him on my own isn't possible. I'm not strong enough. Physically maybe, but mentally I am too scared of him. Just thinking about him coming makes me freeze. Let alone it becoming a possibility.
Pushing my worries of tomorrow aside, I focus on the task ahead of me. I have to be in the training room in twenty minutes and I still have to get dressed. My lack of sleep finally caught up to me last night, and I fell asleep as soon as the dorm lights went out. Christina had to wake me up this morning before she left for breakfast. I would have to skip it to make it to practice in time, but since I was used to days without food a skipped meal wouldn't hurt.
Pulling my shirt over my head, I frown how tight it is before struggling to pull it off. I'll have to get one from the dorms in a bit. Hopping a bit, I try to pull my pants up past my calves. They won't budge. New muscles bulge out from my calf and thigh. I let the pants drop. I hadn't realized how much my muscles had grown the past weeks. Sure I worked out in Abnegation, and sure that kept my body toned and healthy, but barely eating once a day didn't help my muscles grow. Now with a proper diet and constant exercise, they are finally growing like they should. No wonder Toby looks so buff.
Sighing, I wrap a towel carefully around myself taking care to cover all my scars. The towel isn't long enough to cover my torso and all of my legs, but I pray no one will be in the room that will notice. Picking up my clothes I take a deep breath and leave the bathroom.
My stomach drops. Molly, Peter, and Drew are in the corner of the dorm talking and laughing. They look over as I enter the room, but I glance away trying to ignore them. Maybe if I ignore them they will ignore me.
I crouch carefully and awkwardly look through my clothes trying to find pants that would fit. There's that dress Christina bought me, but it's too short. Without leggings, the scars on my legs would show. And I don't have leggings that fit anymore.
After digging around I find a pair of baggier pants. I haven't worn them because they used to be too loose for training, but they should be fine now. Picking out a bra, underwear, and one of my larger black shirts, I turn around, one hand holding clothes and the other clutching my towel in a death grasp.
Peter stands right behind me. My hand nearly lets go of the towel as I jump back, only to find Molly and Drew blocking me from behind. I try and run but he blocks my path by slamming his hand against Christina's bed frame. I'm trapped.
"I didn't realize you were so skinny, Stiff," his voice is filled with malice. I cringe.
"In case you forgot, beat your ass, Peter. And I would gladly do it again if I had to," I try and sound brave, but my voice comes out in a weak tremble. They laugh. "Get away from me."
Peter chuckles, "I'm in control right now, Stiff. There's no escaping me. If you stop resisting, this will be much easier." Images of Marcus flash through my mind, and tears threaten to spill from my eyes. Peter and his gang start to creep closer. This is bad. Very bad.
I glance around, trying to find a path of escape. I could duck under Peter's arm and sprint for the bathroom. If I'm fast enough I might be able to make it.
"Look at her, she is practically a child," Molly scoffs, "do you even have boob's Stiff?" I flinch. Marcus had said nearly the same thing to me before he...raped me. My breathing quickens, my hands start to shake. I'm going to have a panic attack if I don't escape them soon.
"I don't know, she could be hiding something under that towel. Why don't we look and see?" Drew smirks, his eyes gleaming. I choke back a sob, memories of Marcus advancing towards me, ordering me to take off my clothes, ripping them off…
Stop. You need to run. Now. I duck and run underneath Peter's arm. Something grabs at my towel, but I'm running too fast to stop. It's too late. Peter's pulled the towel from around my waist, the fabric dangling from his fist. I gasp, cold air brushing against my naked body. Laughter erupts, and I run as fast as I can toward the bathroom trying to hold my clothes against my body. I know there's no use. They've seen me. The ugliness, the scars, the bruises, everything.
I slam the bathroom door, falling against it. A sob bursts from my throat. I thought Dauntless was going to be safe. I would be safe here, I expected to be hurt, but safe. I could escape my nightmares. Instead, I'm making new ones.
My breathing becomes erratic, tears stream down my face. I wrap my arms around my knees and squeeze them tight, not caring that I'm sobbing naked on the bathroom floor where anyone could walk in and see me. Who cares? They are going to tell everyone anyway. I try to control my breathing, but it proves useless. I can't stop. They saw me, they saw me, they saw me.
The cold tiles of the bathroom floor create chills that spread up my spine. Pushing myself up I pull on my clothes before releasing another sob. What even is the point of going to practice? Molly is going to tell everyone. Soon everyone will know me as the pathetic, abused Stiff. My secret is out.
In the midst of my sobbing, I don't hear the door open. "Tris? I-Fuck, Tris what happened?" Christina stands above me, tall, her dark hair falling in front of her face. Her voice startles me. I jump in surprise and scramble out of the way of the door. "What happened? Why are you crying? I saw Peter, Molly, and Drew in the dorm. They were laughing about something but I didn't know what." I take a breath, hoping to explain what happened, but I end up sobbing harder.
"Shhh, Tris, you're ok. Shhh, look at me." I cautiously look up at her. She's knelt down and sits next to me on the cold floor. "Deep breaths, ok? Focus on me, take deep breaths. That's it." Slowly, my breathing returns to normal thanks to Christina's coaching. "Now, do you think you can talk?"
"Yeah," I whisper, my voice hoarse from crying. "My clothes didn't fit. I-I had to get new ones to change into. I went out in my towel and they-they trapped me. I tried to escape but Peter he-he grabbed my towel." Tears roll down my cheeks and I begin to hyperventilate again. "They, they saw me. They saw everything."
"Shh, Tris it's ok. You're ok. Deep breaths, remember? Follow me," she helps me calm down once more. "There you go."
"I'm-I'm sorry," my voice is shaky and I hate it. I hate how weak I sound "I'm sorry I'm such a mess. You're late to practice because of me." Christina shakes her head.
"Four sent me to find you. Said it wasn't like you to be so last minute, which I agreed with," she glances at me, "I'm glad I did. He seemed to care about you a lot though. More than he does any of us. You have any idea why?" I blush and look down hoping she doesn't see it.
"No, no clue."
"Sure," she says sarcastically. "You're welcome by the way. Don't worry about it, you were having a panic attack it's hard to stop one by yourself. My little sister would sometimes get them, which is how I knew how to calm you down." I nod slowly. "Do you think you are alright to stand up? We have practice to get to, but if you don't feel up to it we can talk." I raise my eyebrows, talking is the last thing I want to do. " On a completely different note, I want to get a tattoo after training today. You should get one too. It might make you feel Dauntless." I roll my eyes but smile nevertheless.
"Alright," I whisper, "thank you. You're the greatest friend a girl could have."
"Of course. I'm sorry about being a bitch at Capture the Flag. My competitiveness got the best of me, I don't know what I was thinking. You totally deserved it." I shake my head.
"It's fine. I think you've already made up for it. Don't worry." She gives me a tight smile.
"Are you good?" I nod my head, "Alright, let's go. You have the last fight today so you should be fine."
"Who am I against?"
"Molly."
"Good"
"If you're-wait what?"
"I wish I could fight Peter again, but Molly is second best. I'm not letting her get away with what they did." Christina smiles and shakes her head with a chuckle. We eventually reach the training room. "Thanks again Christina. I really appreciate it."
"Anytime Tris. That's what best friends are for." I smile. It feels good to have a best friend. Maybe Dauntless will keep me safe after all.
As we walk into the room Christina gives me one last encouraging smile before going to stand beside Will. By the way their hands and shoulders brush from their closeness it's obvious they like each other though I'm not sure if either of them knows it yet. They're good for each other, I just hope it works out.
My eyes scan the room for Toby, and I find him leaning against a wall next to the board of our fights. I hesitate but eventually, I walk over.
The tension in Toby's shoulders relaxes as his eyes find mine and scan me over for injuries. "Where were you, initiate?" His voice is stern, but not harsh. I think back to our fight yesterday, I still feel terrible about it. I had been selfish then, I can't be selfish anymore. I can't risk it.
"I'm sorry, I-I got caught up in the dorms. I'm sorry."
"Sleeping in I expect," Eric says, approaching us. I gulp.
"I'm sorry sir, it won't happen again." By now most of the other initiates are staring at us. I'm not surprised. I'm cornered by both of our male, strict instructors. One of which can make me melt with a simple smile, the other whose presence makes me flinch.
"It better not," Eric's face leans closer to mine, his nose inches from mine. I can smell the stink of his breath. "Because if it does, I won't hesitate to throw you out. Got it?" I nod vigorously, not daring to breathe. "Good."
I let out a deep breath as Eric walks away from me and calls out the next fight, Al and Christina. Good, she won't get hurt. He'll take a few punches and will go down without a fight. She'll get a good ranking, most likely without a scratch.
"What really happened?" Toby asks quietly. I look up to him, his worried eyes meeting my scared ones. "I thought you were avoiding me, but-"
"Tobias," I whisper, making sure none of the initiates can hear. "I wouldn't avoid you. I don't do that." I couldn't do that.
"I know," he manages to say. His voice is filled with concern, making my heart clench, "which is why I was so worried." I sigh and shake my head.
"It's a long story, I'll tell you later."
"Midnight at the chasm?" I shake my head. Hurt flashes across his eyes.
"No, it's not that I don't want to talk to you. I do, and gosh I wish you could hold me right now and kiss me senseless. I'm exhausted though, and Visiting Day is tomorrow. I want to be awake just in case my mom comes." Or Marcus. He nods.
"Alright then, after Visiting Day tomorrow. I'll meet you after lunch?" I nod, a smile spreading across my face.
"See you then," I whisper, giving his hand a quick squeeze before walking over to Will.
Ahhhh, guys! I'm sorry for the long wait. School is so insane. I've had this written for a little while now, but I wanted to edit it before I published it. I have the next chapter written too and I'm halfway through editing it so it should be up soon! And after that, I promise on my career as a fanfic writer that the next chapter will be the beginning of the reveal. I'm pretty sure I'll start writing it tomorrow! Gosh, I am so excited! Hope you guys are too! 3