*This is a re-upload. I didn't like the last Chapter 38, so I made some adjustments to it. I hope you guys don't mind. Also, there's a quick authors note at the end!*

Tobias POV

Bea and I cuddle for a while after that, trying to enjoy the rest of our day off as much as we can.

"Hey, Bea?"

"Yeah, Toby?"

"When I was cleaning off your back...there was a tattoo. When did you get it?" Tris turned onto her side, wheezing slightly from the effort. She looks me in the eyes, and I can't help but admire her grey-blue eyes and how they still sparkle despite the hell that she's lived through.

"I got it a few days ago when Christina convinced me to come with her. Did you see the whole thing?"

I shake my head.

"I would show you, but it's wrapped in bandages now. Tori helped me design it. It's a grey birdcage, made of the words liberos, immunes, fortis, dignus in cursive. Supposedly they stand for free, independent, strong, worthy in an old language called Latin. Two blackbirds fly out of the cage." I smile. "The birds stand for us. Escaping from Abnegation and...him." Her eyes sparkle even more. "Shauna told me I had to...reclaim my body after what Marcus did. So I got the tattoo." I smile.

"It sounds brilliant," I brush a piece of hair out of her face, marveling at how she could be so beautiful after all that life had thrown at her. "I did the same thing, you know. With my tattoo" She nods.

"Tori told me. She asked if I knew you, and I told her that I knew you well. And she told me I should talk to you about everything, that you would be able to help me." She gives me a small smile. I sigh. I still can't believe that I was ignorant enough to let this slip by. I wasn't able to help her. Not even when she needed me most. I still don't understand why she stays with me. After all the pain I've put her through, she still chooses to stay. "What's your tattoo of?"

"It's...Do you mind if I just show you?" She shakes her head. Sitting up straight, I peel of my shirt. Heat fills my cheeks, and I'm sure they turn a very bright sade of red. Sure, she's seen me shirtless plenty of times. But normally it was her taking off the shirt while I was half conscious. I've never taken it off for her like this. It leaves my vulnerable in a way that I'm not used to. And despite this, I feel...safe.

I turn around so she can see the five symbols on my back and the flames along my side. Tingles run down my spine, and I gasp as she traces them with a gentle finger. Heat rises and fills my chest. I doubt I could form a coherent sentence right now. Her cold fingertip traces the letters carved into the top of my back, unloveable. I had told Tori to cover them with ink, but the scars are still visible. I shudder.

"Why?" Her finger leaves my back, leaving me cold once more. My thoughts slowly come together.

"I don't want to be just one thing. I want to be brave, and selfless, and honest, and smart, and kind. Though I'm still working on the kind part." I sigh. "I don't want to ignore parts of me simply because of which faction I live in. I don't want to be recklessly brave without thinking about the consequences my actions will have on other people." I turn around, hoping to gauge her reaction. Suddenly butterflies fill my stomach."What do you think?"

It's as if I break her from a trance. Tris jumps a bit and looks up at my eyes.

"No, no. They're perfect. Amazing. And stand for something really special. I-" her voice cracks. She pauses and shakes her head. "I love it."

Relief courses through my body. "And I love you." She chuckles. Despite her smile, her shoulders remain tense. She started fiddling with her fingers. "Tris? Does this make you feel uncomfortable?" Her eyes shoot up to mine.

"No, no, no. It's just…" Her voice trails off. I let her collect her thoughts. I can't imagine what a mess her head must be right now. I'm surprised she's talking as much as she is. "I don't have much experience with...this. Us. A relationship. In Abnegation it was easier cause we couldn't do anything, and you didn't have any expectations. But here we can do whatever, and I don't know what you want me to do or what the right thing to do is." Her gaze travels down my stomach, and the butterflies increase. "I mean, here you are, looking, gosh, you look so hot, and beautiful, and perfect. And then there's me, and I just can't see what you see in me. I mean I'm just this big broken mess, and I'm so lost on why you would choose me of all people." A tear rolls down her cheek, and she harshly wipes it off. I grab her hand, holding it in mine. Her fingers are cold, and I rub them between my hands to warm them.

"Bea, I don't know where to start." I take a deep breath, collecting my thoughts. "I love you. I loved you in Abnegation, and I love you in Dauntless. My expectations...gosh Bea, I don't expect anything from you. I never have nor ever will expect anything from you. All I want is for you to feel safe and loved. And you are beautiful, and funny, and smart, and kind, and all the things I wish I were. You're amazing. But that's not why I'm with you. I'm with you because I love you. I love who you are. And yeah, you might feel a bit lost right now. Everyone feels lost sometimes. But I'm here to help guide you while your lost and are trying to find your way." Tears are falling down her cheeks freely now, and I'm pretty sure they are falling off of mine as well. "There is no right thing to do in this relationship. If you are worried about something, we can talk it over together. You aren't alone Bea. I'm here for you now." I kiss her hand and release it from mine. "I know words can't erase your doubts. Only actions can. But I'm going to prove to you that there's no reason to doubt or fear this relationship. I have my doubts too, but those are the things that we can share with each other to make this stronger. Ok?" She nods. "I love you, Bea."

"I love you too." She whispers hoarsely. She scoots her body and curls into mine. "You're warmer without a shirt." She mumbles. I smirk.

"Yeah?" She nods. I chuckle. We snuggle for a while longer until she falls back asleep on my arm. Not having the heart to move her head onto an actual pillow, I stay still and admire how peaceful she looks. The stress on her face has disappeared and has been replaced with peace that I haven't seen since we were in Abnegation before she found out about Marcus.

I should never have grown close to her. I shouldn't have burdened her with this. No matter what she says, I know it's my fault that he found her today. If it hadn't been for me, he wouldn't spare her a second glance. He wouldn't be out to get her all the time, and he wouldn't have beat her for seven months.

I can't change what happened. What happened, happened. All I can do is be there for her now like she was for me. We can get through this. I'm not exactly excited to meet with Shauna, but if it helps Bea, then I'm all for it. It's my fault she's in this mess. The least I can do is help her heal from it.

After a few moments of quiet, Tris begins to mumble in her sleep. Seconds later she rolls off of my arm and begins to fidget.

"Stop...stop...STOP GET OFF OF ME" Her mumbles escalate to screams. My heart pumps faster, and I start to shake her, only to have her scream louder. Tears well in my eyes. It's obvious she's in some kind of nightmare. Probably about Marcus. And touching her only makes it worse.

"Tris, wake up." I try to shake her more, but eventually, give up when she flinches away and yells more. "Bea, wake up baby. Please, wake up. It's just a dream." The tension in her shoulders relaxes, so I keep talking. "It's not real, Bea. Wake up. He isn't here, Bea. He can't hurt you anymore. I'm here with you. Please wake up Bea, please."

Her shoulders begin to shake, but her eyes crack open. I breathe a sigh of relief.

"Bea?"

"Toby?" Her voice is hoarse and dry. I stand up to get her a glass of water, but she protests. "Where are you going? No! Please, don't leave...not now." Dried tears decorate her face.

"To get you some water, I'll be back in a few seconds, ok?" She nods. I quickly grab the water cup from the bedside table and fill it up in the kitchen. I rush back and hand her the cup. Her hands still shake slightly, but less so than earlier. "Do you want to talk about it?" I ask softly. I know she isn't ok. Heck, I'm still not ok after a year of being away.

"I-it was about today. A-about it h-happening again. B-but you didn't come to help this t-time. A-and I w-was awake the w-whole t-time." I climb back on the bed and hold her close. I can't say anything to make the pain go away, so instead, I hold her as she cries, into my chest, my heart aching at her gut-wrenching sobs.

"I wish I could say something to make this better." I whisper into her soft hair. "I wish I could tell you that it's ok and that you're fine, but I can't." I tilt her head, so I'm looking straight in her eyes. I try and think back to when I was in this position. What I needed to hear when I woke up unable to breathe from sheer terror.

A tear slides down her cheek, and I brush it away with my thumb. "I love you, Bea. I love you with my entire being, and nothing is going to change that. I'm here now, and I'm not going to leave. I'm going to help you through it." She nods and snuggles her head against my chest again. I sigh contentedly as we settle back onto my pillows.

"I….I don't know what to say." She whispers. I nod.

"Then don't say anything. You don't have to." She sighs and leans back. Heat fills my chest. How could Marcus do this to her? Hurt someone so amazing and so pure. So worthy of love, so trusting, so forgiving, yet he completely took advantage of her. And she couldn't do anything about it.

"We can stay here all day if you want," I say. "I can make us dinner in a bit if you're up for it, and you can stay in here tonight. I'll figure out a story you can tell your dorm mates."

"Thank you." I smile and adjust myself, so I'm lying on the bed more comfortably.

"Anything for you."

Hey guys! I hope you like this fluffy chapter...I just want to make a quick announcement! I just made a Tumblr account! If you want to have access to early sneak peaks of scenes or hear about updates, you should come check it out! My username is the same one as on here, thebooktrooper. If you have a drabble or one-shot that you want me to write, shoot me an ask or message on Tumblr, and I'll see what I can do! Once again, I hope you enjoyed this chapter and hopefully I'll have a new one up somewhat soon!