Interlude time! Every fifteen chapters, a what if chapter will come out, exploring different possibilites. First off... what if Iruma went to Heaven instead of hell?
Millie watched as their boss loaded his rifle. "Easy does it, just gonna off the target, and get mad rich." The man smirked. "You gotta love how many ex wives want their husbands dead."
"That's not exactly a pleasant thought I like to imagine." Moxxie grumbled as he rolled his eyes. "The very notion that someone would betray their partner, once they've dedicated their entire lives to protecting and serving… I can barely muster the strength to pity the degenerate bastards."
"I know Mox, I know." Millie patted her husband on the back. "It just sickens me to ma core."
"Eh, technically they already broke the vow 'till death do us part'." Blitz shrugged. "So you're sure he's comin through that door Mox?"
"That's what the wife's schedule said." Moxxie said as he looked over the list. "This is the house he paid for on the side for his extra-marital exploits. Aside from one or two house cleaners, no one else should be here at this time."
"Ah, so no one important wil die if we off the wrong motherfucker, gotcha." Blitz grinned as he cocked his shotgun. "I could use a little target practice. Ever since that blue haired bastard came around I feel like I've needed to improve my gun play."
"I think it's cute how he jumps around like a little weasel." Millie smiled fondly. Truth be told, she'd like to spend more time around the little tot, given how from the little conversations they've had, the boy didn't seem to get too much love at home.
"Yeah yeah, I know how much you want a kid with an impotent guy like Mox in bed." Her boss said as he aimed his gun.
"I am not imp-we have sex just fine!"
"Just fine Mox?" Blitz shook his head. "I knew it. Your marriage is entering the rocky stages. Your boring missionary life has already stalled the fun times in the sack. You need a spice like me in the sack to make it fun again."
"Trust me Blitz, it ain't borrin." Millie shook her head. "Hey, I see the door openin."
"Oh. So you're saying that you peg your hubby-"
"Just focus on the mission!" Moxxie growled.
"Yeah yeah." Bliz scoffed, grinning. "Just aim, … and fire!" He pulled the trigger as the door opened.
BANG
And nearly hit the blue haired boy they kept encountering. "What-" A fire broke out behind him. "The-"
BOOM
The entire house was consumed in flames and shrapnel. "... Wow, mass destruction with a single bullet." Their boss smirked. "I knew I was good."
"Blitz!" Millie shouted, looming to the young, now dead body. "You just shot an innocent kid!"
"Yeah, and set the house on fire, which means the mother fucker we're after will also be dead, and there will be no evidence!" Blitz grinned. "Perfect win!"
"SIR!" Mox screamed. "This was too far!"
"Oh relax. It's just one kid." Bliz waved off. "Not like anyone's going to-"
"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" A cry of raw agony and suffering took over the air, along with a pillar of white flames.
"Ow, ow, ow ow, what the fuck!" Blitz screamed as the air felt scorching to even breathin. "I thought earth just had regular pussy ass fire, why does it feel like I'm in a million degree oven here!?"
"Sir … that's heavenly flames." Mox spoke in horror. "That means an angel-"
"You …" They turned to see a figure walk out of the flames, six wings on her body.
"Oh … fuck." Blitz winced.
"...You killed him…." The angel's body got bigger as the holy fire covered her entire body in bright shimmering bright light. "YOU KILLED MY BABY!"
"Look lady, it was an accident-" The woman wasn't taking it, grabbing Blitz and slamming him into the ground, burning his body all over.
"You ruined an innocent boy's life and have the gall to just call an accident!?" The angel threw their boss into a wall. "You scum of the underworld are even more horrid than the darkness that surrounds your existence! You killed my baby, you killed MY CHILD!"
"Blitz!" Millie called out as she grabbed her axe and aimed to get the bitch off her boss, only to be smacked to the side and into a wall. "You-you should mind your own business you prissy-" And her throat was covered by a flamming holy hand.
"You have no right to call me out after what you've done, hellswine!"
Multiple bullets were fired by Mox, but they did nothing. "Let my wife go you-"
"Wait … your …"
Snap
"Turn." She growled … as Blitz was dropped onto the ground … his neck bent at a wrong angle.
"Blitz…" Millie gasped as the taller imp closed his eyes.
"Take… take care of.. Loonie…" There boss gasped out as he stopped breathing. The hand around her throat tightened harder and harder, as the fire burned brighter and brighter.
"I have tolerated you for so long because of what Sera told me … all the souls you took … all the lives you ruined … NO MORE!" She growled. "I'm ending you existence… for his sake.. for Iruma's sake.. you will die, right here, right now!"
"Not today, Holy cunt!" Moxxie jumped on the angels back. "I know we can't beat you… but in the spirit of my boss, I'll slow you the fuck down!" There was a something strapped to Moxxie's chest… a bomb.
"You think that can hurt me?"
"No, but hellfire in your face can't be pleasant either!" Moxxie held a trigger .
"Mox no!" She shouted.
Boom
Millie was blown back by the force and flames … a horn landing next to her … they were … Mox was …
"Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaggggggggghhhh!" Millie unleashed an unholy rage into the air. "You killed them… you killed my family!"
"Demon scum like you doesn't deserve the very concept of a family." The bitch looked down at her her. Her face was blackened with scars.. but otherwise she was fine.
"Then finish it, kill me, kill me you Holy bitch!" Millie shouted. "I have nothing to live for, so just get it over with!"
"…. Then you will spend the rest of your unholy life feeling my pain." The bitch turned away.
"No ... Finish it damn it! Finish it!" The holy bitch disappeared in a flash of light. "Fuck you…. FUCK YOU BITCH!" This couldn't be it, this couldn't be how it all ended! "Kill me! Kill me! Satan Damn it, KILL ME!"
Saint Peter looked over the latest soul. "Yes, Fred Rogers. We've been expecting you."
"Wow … and here I thought I wasn't doing enough with all that violence in the world." The man chuckled. "Maybe one day, everyone can come up here."
"Yes, yes, it's important to have dreams." It was odd seeing so many hopeful people in this day and age. It was hilarious seeing their reactions, and their funny ideas on how the afterlife worked. "But now you're in heaven, which means you don't have to dream anymore, cause everyday is already perfect!"
"Can't hurt to dream a little more. Dreams are a part of humans after all." The man chuckled as he walked through.
"So naive. Maybe that's why he got in. Too simplistic to corrupt." That seemed to be the pattern with most of the winners in the last few hundred years. "Eh, probably nothing to worry about." The more simple minded somone was, the easier they obeyed and followed the plan fate had laid out. "Now let's see, doesn't look like we'll get anybody else today.."
"Aaaaaaaahhh!" The high pitched sound of a kid filed the air as they fell upwards to the pearly gates, tumbling into the clouds as he rolled all over. "Ahh!" He screamed again as he held his head.
"Oooh, bit of a rough landing I see." Peter winced.
"Ahh!" The kid screamed. "I.. I'm.. okay!? I opened a door and I got shot.. but.. I didn't feel it."
"Oh, that explains the rough landing. Your death was premature." He looked through the book. "Can I get your name please?"
"Iruma Suzuki." They responded on instinct, glancing around. "I.. Huh.." The boy still looked confused. "I.. I died? But I was just.. and.." He looked at his fur covered hands … "I AM HORRIBLY SCARRED!"
"No, that's just your winner form." He grinned. "You're an adorable little puppy. A good sign of purity and kindness ."
"How do I win after getting set on fire!?" He shouted. "What kind of lottery is that!?"
"I see you're confused, allow me to explain." Peter cleared his throat. "What happens when you die?"
"You sleep in the comforting abyss of non-existence." The kid noted.
"Ah, I'm guessing you were an atheist when you were alive." He chuckled. "Usually when people think there's no point to life they aren't good people and go to hell. So I guess you're one of the lucky ones."
"Thanks… I think.." The kid slowly nodded as he looked to himself. "Please sir, I'm really freaking out and I don't know what's going on and I'm pretty sure my boss is going to fire me.."
"You don't have to worry about bosses, or jobs anymore for that matter." Peter nodded. "Because now you're in heaven!"
"… Oooooh, I understand now." The boy nodded with a smile.
"Glad you do-"
"This is a fever dream. The explosion knocked me out and I'm hallucinating a place that I can rest in comfort."
"…" Peter had a long line, and this boy was a bit stubborn on the lack of belief part. He'd leave it to Emily when she got back. "Sure, let's go with that." He opened the gates. "Why don't you enjoy this.. fever dream.. while it lasts and have fun having no responsibilities or worries that you had about being awake?"
"Awesome!" The kid ran off at blinding speed.
"… They're gonna have their work cut out for them, that's for sure." Peter sighed as he looked to the latest … "HOW!?" He knew that even the Seraphim were unaware of what got someone into heaven, but Peter drew a line at a Neo Nazi.
Alastor grinned as his time was nearly up. "Quite the pleasure to do business with you, quite the pleasure indeed." For some petty trinkets, he was able to get a new source of entertainment. How fascinating today was! The fact he got summon to the mortal world was an exilerating experience in of itself. "Oh it will be quite interesting to see how two twisted souls like yourself will fair in hell once your time comes."
"What do you mean?" The woman, Teien Suzuki, titled their naive little head. "We've never done anything egregious in our lives."
That was so sincere Alastor had to actually double take the comment for a second. "… Good lord you're either foolish or delusional." Usually it's both, but sometimes it could just be the latter. Such as Vox thinking he actually has relevance.
"Hey, she's plenty smart." The man, Haichi Suzuki, rubbed his wife's face passionately. "After all, she was smart enough to say yes to marrying me."
"Oh you, my little darling." And THAT was his cue to change the conversation.
"Might as well call him to make sure he can do his stuff." Alastor snapped his fingers … as nothing happened. "Hmm." He snapped them a few more times, with no response. "Are you sure you have a son?"
"Of course. Our darling little Iruma-kun is such a good boy, always providing for us." Teien grinned as she took photos out of her wallet. "This was when he was five months old, being good little bait to provide our bear skin rugs. And this was when he was two years old and dove into a active volcano to get us a rare diamond formed from the unique heat and pressure."
"Oooh, don't forget the time we left him in the Amazon with the carnivorous plants!" Haichi grinned proudly. "Or the time we made him dive down to explore the titanic."
"Such a shame there's wasn't a blue heart jewel necklace, just dead bodies."
Okay, he actually existed. "Can you give me a description and his last known location?" Alastor questioned, sending out a shadow to search.
"Five houses down, the really big one with all the fancy windows." The couple waved off. "He was working for a rich American looking for cheap labor due to him cheating on his wife and wanted to lie low for a bit."
"Seems infidelity is a common occurrence whether in heaven or hell." Alastor shrugged. About five minutes passed.. and the shadow came back… with a child sized skeleton charred to a crisp. "Oooh. Just how I like my victims, well done!" He grinned as he took a bite out of the body's arm.
"Oh … shit." The mother said. "… We're not getting our money." Wow, not even a reaction to the death of her son.
"On not to worry my good chums. You'll get your money … as much as you'd like to spend in hell!" Seeing as the boy wasn't an option, this was his next best bet.
"Oh that's good." Haichi nodded in silence for a second. "… Wait what?"
"You didn't deliver, and I intend to claim my prize!" He grabbed the two of them as shadows covered the area. "What … did you think dealing with a demon would be fair?" He chuckled.
"But-But-But-!"
"Na uh uh! You chose to play the devil's tango, and now you've lost!" He grinned as the firey pits of hell opened up. "So enjoy you reward, Suzuki's! Because I'm going to have plenty of fun ruining every second of your happiness until you break!"
"AAAAAHHHHH!" Ah, such lovely screams.
Emily stared down at the fluffy clouds as she walked forward. She … she failed. Her protectee was dead … Iruma was dead … her son was dead. "Why… why did it happen?" She gasped. "Why… why.."
She failed as a guardian angel … she failed as a mother … if Emily fell it would be well deserved for letting something so awful happen. "Emily.." Sera attempted to talk to her from behind. "Please, let us check your burns. If we don't treat them your soul might take damage.."
"No…. I deserve it." She kept her head down. "I failed my duty… I let someone innocent die under my watch."
"It couldn't be helped.."
"I'm a seraphim Sera! I should have wrapped my body around his! A blast like that would have been nothing to me!" She shouted. "But I was caught off guard because his boss sent him down and …" Emily sniffled. "He's gone …"
"Emily-!"
"He's gone and it's all my fault!" She cried. "… I broke rule three… I got invested… I.. I loved that boy he was my own and… and this is what happened…. The fates have punished him for my mistake.." It was the only explanation. Why else would such a pure soul get punished? "If I need to fall for my actions … so be it."
"Emily, I… it's my fault… I shouldn't have put you in this position to begin with." Sera rubbed her head. "You weren't ready to deal with problems on earth.. your heart's just too big to not care for someone."
"No … I should have listened to you … you tried to warn me against it and …" And it cost her Iruma … "I …"
The door was slammed open. "Em, get your ass out here!" Adam shouted.
"Adam!" Sera growled, unveiling her multiple eyes. "I let you get away with a lot, but nows not the time to test my patience!"
"Look, whatever emotional bullshit you guys have goin on can wait. There's a new winner eating all the fuckin food!"
"… But it's infinite." Emily stated with confusion.
"Clearly not! Lute's been trying to nab him, but it's like some freaky gerbil or somethin!" The first man shouted. "He's almost done with all the ribs! The RIBS Emily! I can't go the rest of my afterlife not eating ribs! I'll like, double die if that happens!"
"Adam, your tone and mannerisms WILL be discussed at length at a later date." Sera groaned, staring down at the first man, before turning to her. "But helping Winner's adjust is your job Emily … I'll understand if you want to delegate your duty for a while.."
"No… no, I.. I need to keep my mind busy on something else." Emily sighed, heading to the food emporium. She would just have to … Suck up her sadness and continue on with her life … She damned her son ... And Emily would have to live with it for the rest of eternity.
She flew across the streets of the city, following Adam as she saw a ruckus and crowd, Lute constantly jumping around to chase a blue fluffy creature, a frustrated look on her face. "STAND STILL YOU BRAT!" Lute shouted as she attempted gran onto the blue one, and constantly slamming her face into a wall.
"But is says all you can eat, and I'm still hungry." The voice said in a sweet tone as they ate an entire ten story cake in one bite … Wait … that voice … and appetite …
"Can you fucking belive it!?" Adam shouted indignantly. "Did a blackhole die and somehow get sent into heaven!? It's like he's an endless pit that swallows everything! THOSE ARE SUPPOSED TO BE MY RIBS!"
"Huh?" The new winner titled their head in a familiarly cute way as they ducked under another swoop from Lute, with a mouthful of the meaty food in his lips, slurping them up, bones and all.. "They said they were free." The child paused. "Unless this is the part of the fever dream that turns into a nightmare with the excuse of small print … I need to double check that."
"Ugggh! This isn't a dream, idiot!" Lute shouted, before turning to her. "Emily, thank fuck! Deal with this brat!"
"Hey, don't be rude! Not all Newcomers, especially young ones, are well adjusted once they reach paradise instantly." Emily glared, a lot more intensely than she intended too. For some reason ... seeing this winner brought a sense of dejavu to her soul.
"Whatever, he's your problem now." Lute rolled her eyes and waved her hands.
Emily slowly walked up to the child, who was staring intently at the sign. "Don't see anything that could be a lie …" He muttered.
"Excuse me." She got his attention. "I'm Emily, I'm the one who looks after new souls." The seraphim gave a soft smile. "What's your name?"
"Iruma Suzuki." … It … it was …
"You're… you're here.." She felt liquid happiness fall from her face. "You made it… you're actually… you made it!" Emily hugged the boy tightly. "My boy… my baby…. You made it.. You made it."
"... This dream is taking a really weird turn." Her baby boy said blanky as she wrapped her feathers around him. "...Though your hugs give me the strangest sense of dejavu. Like when I'm going to bed and…"
"And all you have is newspapers." She finished for him as she got a solid grasp of his face, feeling every soft feature without him being asleep. "Oh you're so adorable. Yes you are, yes you are." Emily giggled.
"... What the fuck is happening right now?" Lute questioned as Adam stood next to her.
"I have no fucking idea." Adam whispered, although he did it rather loudly. "Think Em's ovaries finally dropped?"
"Adam, have more tact than that!"
"What, it's a legitimate question!"
"Your hands are soft." Iruma smiled as his adorable doggie tail wagged.
"You're more beautiful than I could've ever imagined." She nuzzled her forehead on his own. "And to answer your question, Adam, Lute. This is Iruma… he's who I was charged with watching over. Iruma, this Adam and Lute… they're friends.. Well, friend-ish of mine.."
"Hello figments of my imagination." The child waved.
"... Em, don't beat me up for this, but your kid has a screw loose." Adam bluntly stated.
"..." Emily floated up to the first man. "...Fuck you." And hit him in the groin with everything she had.
"AAAAHHHHH!" He screamed in a high pitched voice, before collapsing.
"Now then, let's get you your very own room! It'll be right next to mine!" Her mind was running rampant. She needed to get him friends, proper education, and let him meet Sera.
"I don't think I'll need a room. I should be waking up any minute now." Her boy looked around. "Such a shame. I wonder if I'll still feel the imaginary food in my stomach when I wake up…. The ice cream actually tasted like it was sprinkled with rainbows."
"Those were just rainbow colored sprinkles.." She chuckled. She was having a conversation with her baby.,.. With her son…. Eternity never felt so good until know. "And you're not dreaming…. It's over… you've been through your hardships on earth already… and now this is your reward."
"... Huh?" He cutely titled his head again. "Did I enter a contest? Oooh, did I when one of those sweepstake luxury resorts?! You think my parents will let me sleep on the couch when I tell them what I've won?"
"You're parents deserve shit after everything they've done to you." She patted his head. "You're never going to see them again."
"... This is … so weird and happy for a dream …" Iruma's smile slowly raised. "Now I hope I never wake up."
"Me too Iruma…" Emily kissed his head. "It will never end…. That I promise you." It may take an eternity … but her son would find happiness here… with her. She was sure of it.
Stolas stared blankly in the backyard of his mansion as he held the funeral for Blitzy…. For Blitz and his little friend. He had been too careless…. When Blitz bursted into his life again, Stolas was in metaphorical heaven. His friend had come back…. And he came back passionately… and tenderly… and lovingly.
It brought the life back to Stolas's life, the life that had been drained daily by Stella. Always falling deeper and deeper into a black abyss. He brought a carring tenderness, a hope, a joy that had been long gone and he could look forward to …
And then a badly burnt imp woman walked to his front door, carrying his grimore and explaining an angel attacked. And that her husband … and Blitzy-Blitz … were gone. Gone gone. No regeneration like a sinner demon would…. Death. For imps…. Death was certain, and infinite, no matter what.
Stolas took a second to process that, simply sitting in silence with the little imp that understood the pain of loosing a loved one. He offered to take in the hellhound, Blitzy's…Blitz's much loved daughter that he always spoke fondly of, but both the Imp woman and the hellhound opted to stay with each other. He then offered them continued use of the Grimore… which they also denied. They were simply going to spend the rest of their days in a far away ranch in wrath …
Stella laughed when she heard the news, telling Stolas to his face that this is what happened when an imp got an ego. She dared to mock him … dared to spit in his lover's good name–
Lets just say that the screams of his wife were so loud and horrid that it would give the Radio Demon pause for how painfully torturous they were. Stolas was not a violent man … but Stella had pushed his buttons too many times … And he was grateful to never hear that wretched bitch's screeches ever again.
His one regret from that action was letting his Via hear the screams … between Blitz's loss and this … he was in no right state of mind to comfort the girl. Octavia already resented him for the affair … he might've lost everything and everyone he cared for… without Blitz in his life… it was all meaningless.
"I'm sorry …" He cried on the grave. In the end, for all his status, for all his luck in life … Stolas was a worthless being. Unloved, unworthy, unnecessary. "I… I failed you… I've failed everyone…"
He heard footsteps, turning to see Andrepheus walk up behind him. "... If you're going to avenge your sister, go ahead and do it." Stolas had no energy to resist or struggle … he had no motivation … he had no love.
"Before anything else Stolas… I have to say I'm more impressed with what you've done." The blue feathered ass chuckled cheekily. "Never in a million years would I have expected you to have the spine to 'take care' of Stella so to speak … neither did Stella apparently. I supposed we both underestimated you."
"I suppose many demons did …" Did Blitz underestimate his love … did Via underestimate his love … "I've always hated her, and it was always mutual. Fuck her, fuck Paimon, and fuck the universe. If you're looking for regret, for remorse, then you're not going to find it. I will never have sympathy for this family other than Via…. and now I've lost that too."
"Yes, quite the predicament." Andrepheus snickered. "Although, if one were to, in layman's terms, play devil's advocate for you and paint a much better picture for your little egg, then that could still be savaged."
Stolas glared, raising two of his four eyes upward. "I would die to you with no hope of fighting back, but my soul will forever persist if you dare manipulate that little owlette."
"Who's manipulating anyone?" The bastard smirked. "What I'm offering is just the chance for you to salvage the one good relationship you have in your life. You still get to be in Via's life and she stay's daddy's little princess … all I ask in return is not your soul ... But your Grimoire."
"..." The book given to him by Paimon … his duty … The book that led to his lover's death. "Fine." He relented.
"Excellent!" The man placed an icy talon on Stola's shoulder. "This is the start of a beautiful friendship, my dear brother."
"If you say so." Stolas didn't trust the man in the least… but for Via's sake…. He would sacrifice his very soul for her happiness…. It was all he had left now.
Iruma was not dreaming. It had been days since his arrival to 'heaven'. He never got tired, but he could still sleep. He never got hurt no matter what happened. He hadn't felt hungry since he got here, that last one was just unnatural and phantom like. Sure he could still eat… and he ate MORE than his fair share, but… the sluggishness that usually followed after a big meal… it never came.
It's been too long since he got here, and his parents wouldn't be paying for any life support that would keep him alive if he was in a coma … Iruma was dead. Iruma was in the after life…. The after life existed… and, inspite of every odd being against him… Iruma somehow ended up… in the good place…. Heaven…. Paradise…
He couldn't trust it… there was some kind of trick to this, their had to be! His brain couldn't help but stress over the idea that… that this was temporary…. That the current happiness he was feeling wouldn't last. That anyday… it would all end.
He didn't do good in his life. He just did what people told him. Why was he up here? Was it some accounting error from god or something? Was God even real?!
Emily was too nice. She gave him a fancy room, taught him lots of stuff, constantly hung around him, gave him warm hugs that made him think about the few peaceful nights of sleep he had in alleyways and igloos. Sometimes he would wake up and find the angel hugging him in his sleep. A small part of Iruma's brain thought about calling her mom once or twice…. But then he thought that would be an insult to her given his own mother.
In fact, most people around heaven seemed just… too nice. The other angels like him, the 'winners' as Emily called them, were apparently all good people, which he supposedly was. Barring Adam. Adam was kind of rude, but that gave Iruma security and made him feel normal. Lute too for that matter, who was just kind of a female adam… except maybe just a little smarter….and covered in something red all the time. It looked a lot like blood, but that couldn't be right. They were already dead, so no one would be able to bleed..
Sera … Sera kind of gave him the creeps. Emily spoke highly of her, apparently they were sisters, so that made sense, but whenever Iruma tried to talk to her… it felt like he was less of a person and more of a statistic, like he was something to be measured, not even a person. That unnerved him more than any other 'nice person' in Heaven.
He tried to see his old life, but only certain angels were allowed on earth. Iruma then asked Adam if he could try visiting hell and see the people down there for comparison, for sanity sake … Emily pulled him away and said that hell was nothing but untrustworthy monsters just like his parents. That DID honestly scare him enough to not want to visit…. For now at least.
He just… felt so out of place. Iruma looked out into the endless cloudy horizon. Was it clouds forever… what if he jut flew down… was it clouds all the way down.. "Careful kid." A voice called out to him he turned around. It was some kind of angel lady, a winner if he was assuming correctly. She was really tail, had pink fur, and for some reason, Iruma wanted to say she looked like a tarantula, but held that off so he wouldn't be rude. "Stare down long enough and you'll see nothing but clouds for the rest of eternity."
"Eternity …" He looked down. "That's so hard to process … forever … I thought life had an end." Iruma sighed. "It.. it felt more fair that way. That no matter where you are or who you are… we all end up in the same place no matter what."
"I … know the feeling." She looked up at the sun that was pretty but not so bright it hurt to look at. "I … thought I was going to hell when I died."
"Why would you think that?" He questioned.
She was silent for a moment, and Iruma felt tempted to change topics. "I killed my brother."
"...I've…" How was he supposed to respond to that? "...I've killed rabbits for food…"
The girl looked at him, and snickered. "Thanks…but it wasn't directly… at least not how you'd typically think of it." She sighed. "I grew up in a bad family. When we were old enough we were told that it was our job to hurt and kill people." Like him … "Anthony, my brother, stood up and said he'd take my load for me."
"Ah… he sounds nice." Iruma noted.
"He was…. Anoty was always a bit prickly, but he always showed his soft side to me." She smiled fondly. "He spent so many nights shivering … talking about blood on his hands … crying …" She sniffled. "I wanted to hug him, but it wasn't enough … until one day … I was just six, I didn't know better …"
"You can stop if you want." He offered.
"No… I… I need to say it." She took in a big breath. "I heard there was something called 'Angel Dust' that helped you get rid of bad thoughts. I thought, in my young, fucked up head, 'if it's made from angels, it has to help'." She shivered. "I gave him a few bags I bought with my saved up allowance … and he slept … happy for once …"
"That doesn't sound too bad." He said.
"Yeah… that's what I was thinking." She smiled, but it was a bit wobbly. "Then the next night, he took some again. Then he did it again… and again….and that continued for seventeen years. The 'angel dust'... it was drugs… addictive drugs that Anthony kept returning to after every job, after every fight with dad, after every failed relationship…" She cried. "… I got my brother hooked … I killed him."
"Oh…" Iruma's eyes widened.
"I died not too long after him… I thought I'd end up in hell for what I did…. But I was here…. And I thought… 'hey, if I made it, then Anthony has got to be here'. He took care of me, he was the sweetest guy I know… he had to be here." She wiped her face. "But he's not…. He's in hell… along with my dad and other brother…" She sniffled. "I made my brother a killer and an addict, and I sent him to hell."
"But… but you couldn't have known…"
"But I should've.." She coughed out. "I set the events in motion. If… If I just sucked it up and did my share of the family business… maybe he'd be in heaven right now instead of me… or maybe we'd both be in hell.." She cackled.
"… I should be in hell." He looked up at the sun. "I didn't do anything good … I just did what I was told."
"Pretty sure that puts you leagues above most people kid." The woman laughed.
"No… my parents… when they raised me… they… they made me feel weird about certain words." Iruma explained. "Whenever someone tells me please, help, or begs me…. I… I feel forced to do whatever anyone tells me to do. And because please and help are so common, I'm forced to do things everyday… and I don't even know if I like helping people. I just get a sick feeling whenever I don't… I feel nauseous and restless if I try to do something for myself other than survive. And now I'm dead… and I have people like Emily telling me that all of my 'good' deeds proved my pure soul… I don't feel pure.." He felt his eyes get wet.
"… It's black and white kid." She ruffled his head. "You don't need to be completely good. You just need to be good enough … and sometimes, we don't feel like we're good enough."
"… You're really smart." He smiled to her.
"Not really, I've just been around the block." The lady smiled to him. "From what I've heard from Emily, you got quite a few street smarts in that head of yours."
"Nah, I just know how to survive." He grinned. "My name's Iruma."
"Cute name. Call me Molly." The fluffy lady grinned. "And welcome to heaven, where everything's perfect."
"Yeah… too perfect." He chuckled. "It's too heavenly here." He blinked. "It's too peaceful and paradise-like." His mouth was moving, saying words he WANTED to say, but not in a way he thought they come out. "Straight and narrow and much too nice like, Endlessly sunny and clear. It's too heavenly here!"
"Oh, your first musical." Molly smiled.
"Those are common!?" He shouted.
"I take it Saint Peter didn't give you the 'welcome to heaven' bit when you came." The lady grabbed him by the hand as they both flew into the city. "Don't worry, I will help ease you in." She let her hand flow through the clouds as little puffballs were made as she did. "It's too blissful to bear. Calm and quiet and much too mellow!"
"And every morning, there's always breakfast jello!" Iruma called out, eating a plate of bacon and pancake jello delight.
"Everyday feels like a year!" She sang out as she spun a clock with her hand.
"It's too heavenly here!" They shouted in unison.
"Wow…we're actually singing about how our lives are too perfect." Iruma laughed. "I feel like one of those rich guys that people make fun of in magazines."
"Tell me about it." Molly grinned as she got on a street post, swinging around it. I'm expecting some action, I'm expectin something loose!"
"I'm expecting to get run over by a stampede of moose!" Iruma shouted out as he flapped his weird feeling wings. "Some razzle-dazzle, and maybe my back meeting a knife!
"I'm thinking I need some strife in the afterlife!" Molly hollered as she threw her halo in the air, catching it in her hands.
"But it's too heavenly here." Iruma pointed to the other angels watching and clapping with them. "There's no way you can be a sinner."
"Roll the dice, everyone's a winner!" Molly randomly rolled some dice and instantly had a crown land on her head.
"It's so legit and sincere!" Too sincere for comfort. "It's too heavenly here!"
"You mean there's no hustlers!? There's no scams!?" Molly cackled.
"There's no one trying to use me for who I am?" Something he didn't even think was physically possible.
"I feel like I'm living at the wrong address." Molly slumped over. "Cause there's nothing to finagle, And no one to finesse!"
So perfect, so stress free it just… made his brain want to break down from the seeming impossibility of it all.
"It's so heavenly here!" Angels in the middle of town sang in the background. Pure and perfect, sublime and shining! Every cloud has a silver lining!"
"Is this magic?" Iruma asked. "None of this is rehearsed, and I'm pretty sure we're just making lyrics on the spot."
"It's weirder when Adam gets involved. The dude's always carrying a guitar, yet somehow doesn't steal all the attention."
"Everyone's full of good cheer!" The background angels began singing again. "It's so heavenly here!
"They're all so saintly! I just can't relate!" Iruma shouted honestly. They were such … good people.
"If only there were times we can walk out of the pearly gates!" Molly twirled him around in the air. "Betwean a canine and a spider, dead before their prime!"
"There may be no crimes…. But have we really earned our time!?" Did… did he really deserve happiness… happiness that lasted forever?
"'Cause it's too heavenly here!" They sang together.
"All hallelujahs and hosannas…" Molly waved her hands.
"It could drive anyone bananas!" Iruma took a bite out of the yellow fruit. "I'm going out of my head!"
"And you feel like you should be deader than dead..!" Molly crafted a tombstone out of clouds. "I'll give you eight to three! It's too heavenly…!"
"Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah!" The background angels sang once more with harps in their hands.
"Too heavenly…here…..!" Molly and Iruma sang together to finish it off.
"… So I've been here for a week or so, how often is that?" He asked.
"It's whenever the mood strikes." Molly shrugged. "The most frequent you hear them is once a week. Apparently in hell, it's more of an everyday occurrence."
"...So spontaneous musical numbers are just something neutral that exists in heaven and hell?" Iruma asked.
"I guess. I don't make the rules there kid." Molly grinned. "Feel better at least?"
"...Yeah, I actually do." He smiled up at her. "..I at least feel a little lighter. I'm not sure if I belong in heaven… but I'm willing to make the best out of it."
"I'm glad." She gave him a hug. "Let me know if you need someone to feel bad with alright?" Molly asked.
"Willl do, sulking buddy." This felt nice. "...Are we friends?"
"Duh." Molly patted his head.
"Good, just wanted to double check." It really must be heaven if he can have one of those.
"Iruma!" The voice of Emily called out to him. "There's a mother son giant sheep ride race about to start and I was hoping you'd join up with me… you know… if you want to.."
Mother and son…. If he was going to make the best out of this… maybe this was the best place to start. "I'd… I'd love to…Emily." He'd wait until he said mom though.
"Yippee!" She shouted with glee, before turning to Molly. "Oooh, is this a friend? Girlfriend?"
"Well I am a girl that is a friend." Molly chuckled as she leaned herself on his head from the back… she had a really big and puffy bosom.