Chris: Okay, today's challenge is three-fold. Your first task is to jump off this one-thousand-foot high cliff, into the lake.
Bridgette: Piece of cake just a diving challenge.
Chris: If you look down, you will see two target areas. The wider part area represents the part of the lake that we have stocked with psychotic, haha, man-eating sharks. Inside that area is a safe zone. That's your target area. Which, we're pretty sure, is shark free.
Bridgette: Or maybe not a piece of cake
Chris: For each member of your team that jumps and actually…survives, there will be a crate of supplies waiting below. Inside each crate are supplies that you'll need for the second part of the challenge.
Camera panned to boxes and wheelbarrows as sparkling sound effects played
Chris: Building a hot tub. The team with the best one gets to have a wicked hot tub party tonight. The losers will be sending someone home.
With the camera showing some brief cases
Chris: Let's see. Killer Bass, you're up first.
Bridgette: Oh…wow. So, who wants to go first?
Crickets played in silence.
Eva: So no ones, up for it?
Duncan: As they say ladies first.
Bridgette: Fine. I'll go. It's no big deal. Just an insane cliff dive into a circle of angry sharks.
camera shows Bridgette swan diving into the water and being inside the ring.
Tyler: She did it! Yeah! Yeah! I'm next! He then jumps Cowabunga! Hoo-hoo! OHHH
Bridgette is seen cringing as its shown that Tyler landed on a buoy.
Geoff: Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
Eva: Look out below!
Duncan: Whatever.
They said as they fell down the cliff.
DJ: Uh uh, no way man. I'm not jumpin'.
Chris: Scared of heights?
DJ: Yeah ever since an incident with a diving board.
Chris: That's okay, big guy. Unfortunately, that also makes you a chicken. So, you'll have to wear this for the rest of the day.
DJ: Aw man are you for real!
Chris: Chris: Bawk-bawk-bawk! That means the chicken's path down is that-a-way. Next?
Ezekiel: Yee-haw he said before hitting an spiked rock and started spinning.
Bridgette, Duncan, Geoff, and Tyler: [cheering]
Harold: Yes!
Waaahhhh Harold said before he said before doing a belly flop but with his nuts.
Harold: Ahhhhh
Sharks: Ooohhhhh
Chris: Oh, welp there goes his children.
Courtney: Excuse me, Chris. I have a medical condition.
Chris: What condition?
Courtney: A condition that prevents me from jumping off cliffs and potentially get eaten by sharks.
Chris: You can chicken out if you want, but it might end up costing your team the win… and then they'll hate you.
Courtney: It's a calculated risk. I've seen the other team, and I don't think nine of them will jump.
The gophers looked at Courtney offended by that statement.
Chris: All right, here is your chicken hat.
Chris: Ok Katie and Sadie your the last ones for the bass
Katie and Sadie: We're coming, Killer Bass! [screaming]
Chris: Okay. So that's nine jumpers and two chickens. Screaming Gophers, if you can beat that, we'll throw in a pull-cart to put your crates on.
Trent: Nice! Okay, guys, who's up first?
Owen: Hey, don't sweat it guys! I heard that these shows always make the interns do the stunt first, to make sure it's survivable.
Flashback before the season started.
Chris: We need to test the stunts first, you know that.
Chef: Do I look like an intern you dang fool.
Chris: No, but the ones we had are all in the hospital. Come on, just jump it you big chicken. Bawk-bawk-bawk-bawk!
Chef: I don't get paid enough for this, man. He then jumped.
Chef: Hey! I made it! I made it, man. I…something just brushed by my foot! Hey Chris, man! Somethin' ain't right down here! Ahh! Sharks Ahh!
Chris: Well, that seems safe enough.
Heather: Yeah i'm sorry, But there is no way I'm doing this.
Beth: Why not?
Heather: Are you kidding the water may ruin my hair.
Lindsay: Oh that make so much sense.
Antonio wearing a floatie: y'all can't be serious right?
Leshawna: [to Heather] Oh, you're doing it!
Heather: Says who?!
Leshawna: Says me! I'm not losing this challenge 'cause you got your worried your getting wet, you spoiled little daddy's girl!
Heather: Back off, ghetto glamour, too-tight pants wearing rap star wannabe!
Leshawna: Mall shopping, pony-tail wearing, teen girl reading, peaking in high school prom queen!
Heather: [beat] Well at least I'm popular.
With everyone but Antonio looking scared.
Antonio: [confessional] How was that an insult?
Leshawna: [angered] You're jumping!
Heather: Make me! With Leshawna picking her up and throwing her down the cliff.[screams]
Heather: [blows water out of nose] Ugh, Leshawna! You are so dead you fuckhead.
Leshawna: Hey, I threw you into the safe zone, didn't I? [to self] Now I just hope I can hit it too.
Leshawna: [screams as she falls in the water]
Lindsay: [scared] I thought this was going to be a talent contest!
Chris: [laughs] Yeah! [laughs] No.
Lindsay, Gwen, Cody fell screaming while izzy fell down laughing.
Beth: I… I can't do it. I'm too scared she said while being handed a chicken hat.
Beth: [to the team] I'm sorry!
Cody and Leshawna: [make chicken noises]
Lindsay: That is like, so lame… right?
Heather: Fully lame.
Cody: Didn't y'all two not want to jump though?
Trent: Let's do this yeaahh! He said after high fiving Owen!
Noah: Don't sweat it you guys. He then jumped.
Antonio: Do you want to rock, paper, scissors for who gets to jump first.
After a quick game
Antonio: You got to be shitting me. Welp here i go he said before jumping with his eyes close.
Antonio heard cheering and opened his eyes thankful that he made it.
Chris: [through megaphone] Okay campers! There's only one person left! You guys need this jump for the win! [to Owen] No pressure, dude. [Owen looks relieved] Okay there's pressure!
Cody, Gwen, Izzy, Leshawna, and Lindsay: Go, Owen, you can do it, Owen! Go, Owen!
Heather: Jump, jump, just do it, Owen, do it!
Owen: [confessional] Oh, I was pretty darn nervous. See the thing is, I'm not that strong a swimmer.
Geoff: [confessional] I'm looking at this guy and thinking, "There's no way he's gonna make it especially with the sharks".
Gwen: [confessional] I actually thought, "If he jumps this, he's gonna die."
Chris: Take a good run at it, buddy. You can do this!
Owen: I'm going to die now. I'm going to totally die now.
Leshawna: Come on, big guy!
Owen: [yells as he runs towards the cliff]
Owen: Oh, crap! [screams as he's falling]
[enormous splash that washed everything around it]
Owen: Yes! Yeah! Oh yeah, who's the man?
Gophers: [Cheered]
Chris: [ through megaphone] The winners! The Screaming Gophers!
Trent: [to Owen] That was awesome, dude! What's wrong?
Owen: I, uh, think I lost my bathing suit.
Everyone: Responded in disgust
After the first challenge
Screaming Gophers: [singing] Forty-nine bottles of pop on the wall, forty-nine bottles of pop, if one of those bottles should happen to fall, forty-eight bottles of pop on the wall!
Courtney, DJ, Duncan, Eva, and Geoff: [grunting as they moved boxes]
Courtney: Ow! I think I just got a splinter!
Eva: Shut up, and pick up your crate… chicken.
Courtney: Hey! I'm the only one with four years worth of C.I.T. camping experience here. You need me!
Gophers continued singing as Lindsay picked up a sea-shell.
Tyler: [stops] Ugh, I gotta take a piss.
Eva: Hurry up, we're already behind.
Katie: [pushing with Sadie] Oh, I have to go too.
Sadie: You do? Oh my gosh, me too!
A mosquito flies around Courtney and she hits her eye trying to smack hit.
Courtney: Ow! Stupid mosquito.
Back to the gophers.
Beth: Hey look! There are the campgrounds!
Owen: That was pretty easy.
Cody: I'm pleasantly surprised!
Back to the bass
Eva: [annoyed] All better?
Katie: Yep.
Courtney: Can we go now? I think my eye is starting to swell up.
Sadie: [to Katie] Ooh, something's itching me, are you itchy too?
Katie: Totally itchy, really bad…
Back to the cabins
Chris: [to Gophers] Remember, you guys can only use your teeth to open the crates. [to camera] I came up with that one.
Izzy: [growling] [with rope in mouth] Hey! I think I got it open! [crate opens] Ow, ow! Rope burn on my tongue dammit.
With the bass
Sadie: Ooh, it's really itching now.
Katie: Mine feels like it's burning.
Sadie: Okay, I have to scratch!
Chris: [pulls up on vehicle] You guys are way behind the other team. Like, way behind. What's the problem?
Courtney: Their butts are itchy.
Chris: [He then looks at Courtney swelled eye] Gah! Oh my boxers, that's some bad eye swelling.
Bridgette: [to Katie and Sadie] Did you guys squat down when you peed in the woods?
Katie: Yeah.
Bridgette: Did you happen to notice what kind of plants you were squatting over?
Sadie: They were kind of oval-shaped and green and all over the place.
Bridgette: Were they low to the ground? About this big? [amused] You guys squatted on poison ivy.
Sadie: What do we do?!
Katie: Oh no!
Chris: [laughs] No way, that's awesome! [laughs more]
back to camp
Owen: Hey, check it out! I got wood!
Trent: I've got some tools here, and what looks like a pool liner.
Antonio: Alright does anyone know how to build [Beth, Cody raised their hands] a hot tub [their hands went down]. I guess we got to wing it.
Heather: I just wanted to say, I didn't mean that about you being a ghetto rap star wannabe, and I love your earrings. They're so pretty!
Leshawna: Straight up? Well, I'm sorry about pushing you over the cliff and all.
Heather: No worries, I needed a push. Truce?
Leshawna: Yeah, yeah, you got it.
Lindsay: Did you mean all that stuff you said to LaFonda back there?
Heather: Who Leshawna? [scoffs] No. She's going down. And P.S.? Those are the ugliest earrings I've seen in my life.
Lindsay: Oh… So if you hate her, why were you being nice to her?
Heather: Have you ever seen one of these shows before? Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer.
Lindsay: Oh… I'm your friend, right?
Heather: Oh yeah. For now at least.
The gophers start building as the bass made it into the camp grounds
Harold: Finally!
Trent: Hey, what's up guys?
Leshawna: Hey aren't you missing a couple of white girls?
Sadie: Ah… [bubbling sound] Oops!
Katie: Ew
Courtney: They're getting a drink.
Harold: [to Ezekiel] Yeah, if they drink with their butts.
Ezekiel: [laughs] Ha, that's funny! Since girls are usually good with water?
Harold looked confused when he said that.
Leshawna: Ooh, what happened to your eye, girl?
Courtney: [defensive tone] Nothing… just an allergy.
Ezekiel: Think it's gettin' worse.
Courtney: [whispering] Shut up! We don't want them to know that!
Geoff: Okay. Dudes, it's not too late. We can do this!
With Ezekiel picking his nose
Courtney: Ew!
Ezekiel: [oblivious] What?
Bridgette: That's really gross to do in public...
Courtney: Okay, look guys. We have a hot tub to complete, and we need a project manager. Since I've have four years worth of C.I.T. experience, I'm electing myself. Any objections?
Duncan: Where do we begin, Cyclops?
Courtney: [angered] Open the crates! Bridgette, go find those itchy girls. We need all the help we can get.
A montage then show the gophers working in harmony, while the bass are doing poor job with Harold getting injured from everything.
Both team are finished with their hot tubs while Chris judges the gophers hot tub first.
Chris: This… is an awesome hot tub!
Beth, Leshawna, Noah, and Trent: Oh yeah!
Owen: Nice!
Chris then starts judging the bass hot tub but then it collapsed
Chris: Well, I think we have a winner here. [pause] The Screaming Gophers!
Chris: Gophers, you're safe from elimination and, you get to rock this awesome hot tub for the rest of the summer! Bonus!
The Gophers cheered while the Bass looked disheartened.
Chris: Killer Bass, what can I say? Sucks to be you right now. I'll see your sorry butts at the bonfire tonight.
Lindsay: We won! We all get to stay here for another three days!
Beth, Heather, Lindsay: Yay, woohoo!
Owen: Woo! Haha! Yes! [singing] We get to stay-ay, we get to stay-ay, we are so awesome, we won the contest!
Heather: Owen please tell that isn't what I'm thinking is brushing up against my leg.
In the Cafeteria
Katie: So, uh, what do we do now?
Courtney: We have to figure out who we're gonna vote off.
Duncan: Well, I think it should be Princess or the Brickhouse here.
Courtney: [shocked] What? Why?
Duncan: Because, unless I'm mistaken, you two are the only ones here wearing chicken hats. And if we ever have to lift a weight or two, I like our odds with the big guy.
Courtney: You guys need me! I'm the only one–
Bridgette: [annoyed] We know, The only one with four years of C.I.T experience. So who would you pick?
Courtney: What about… him? [As she pointed to Tyler]
Lindsay: No! [beat] I mean, no salt, there's no salt on the table, total bummer…
Duncan: Hey-Hey, at least he jumped off the cliff, chicken wing!
Courtney: Shut up you neanderthal.
Geoff: Okay, let's just chill out. The mood getting way too heavy.
Duncan: [nonchalant] I've had enough prison food for one day, I'm gonna go have a nap.
Courtney: You can't do that, we haven't decided who's going yet!
Ezekiel: Well I just don't get why we lost, eh? They're the ones that have more girls than us!
Bridgette: [offended] What's that supposed to mean?
Eva: Yeah, homeschool. Enlighten us!
Ezekiel: Well, guys are much stronger and better at sports than girls are!
Geoff: Oh, snap! He did not just say that!
Duncan: He's not technically wrong though. [he said as quiet as possible]
Ezekiel: My dad told me to look out for the girls here, eh, and help 'em in case they can't keep up.
Eva: [choking Ezekiel] Still think we need your help keeping up?
Ezekiel: Ugh… no ma'am...
Geoff: Okay, guys. Let's give him a break. I mean, at least he doesn't think that guys are smarter than girls.
Ezekiel: But, aren't they?
Harold: [confessional] So that what Zeke meant when he said girls are usually good with water... i thought he meant something else.
At the ceremony
Duncan: [to Ezekiel] Dude, you've got a lot to learn about the real world.
Chris: Killer Bass, at camp, marshmallows represent a tasty treat that you enjoy roasting by the fire. At this camp, marshmallows represent life. You've all cast your votes and made your decision. There are only ten marshmallows on this plate. When I call your name, come up and claim your marshmallow. The camper who does not receive a marshmallow tonight must immediately return to the Dock of Shame, to catch the Boat of Losers. That means you're out of the contest, and you can't come back… ever.
Chris: The first marshmallow goes to… Geoff. Tyler.
Tyler: Woohoo! Yeah! Place at the table!
Chris: Katie. Bridgette. DJ. Harold.
Harold: Yes!
Chris: Sadie.
Katie: Oh yay!
Sadie: Thank you, thank you, thank you!
Chris: Duncan. Campers, this is the final marshmallow of the evening.
[dramatic music played]
...[with Courtney and Zeke looking terrified before]...
Chris: Courtney.
Courtney: O caelum gratias*! With her marshmallow being put on her stick.
Zeke looked sad that he's first eliminated.
Chris: [to Ezekiel] Can't say I'm shocked, I saw you picking your nose dude. Not cool. Dock of Shame is that way, bro!
Zeke then proceed to walk down the dock of shame with no words said.
Chris: The rest of you, enjoy your marshmallows. You're all safe… for tonight.
Gwen: [confessional] Yep, this camp pretty much still sucks. But, now that I'm here I guess I might as well actually try to win for my mom and art college money.
Cody: To the Screaming Gophers!
Heather, Justin, Lindsay, and Trent: The Screaming Gophers!
Leshawna: Go Gophers, go Gophers!
Leshawna, Noah, and Owen: Go Gophers!
Courtney: Are you recording this? Good! They can enjoy their little party all they want. But I am gonna win this competition, and no one is gonna stop me!
Note: Courtney said oh thank heaven in latin