Spring 2005
"Dad, where are my keys?" Bella swung into the living room, where her father nursed a beer in front of the TV.
Edward might have been a liar, but he was right about the job. Bella called the bookshop to speak with the manager herself and had a lovely chat. The owner confirmed locations in large, exciting cities. He described small, dreamy towns sprinkled throughout the country, confessing were his favorites. They discussed Bella's preferences, as well as her eclectic reading history. He had an application waiting for her at the counter—all she needed to do was fill it out.
"On the hook."
"I checked the hook. The house key is hanging there by itself. I need the keys to the truck. I want to swing by the bookstore."
"You're sure you want to waste all your money on books?"
"I'm going to get an application. To work there."
"You have a job."
Bella ground her teeth. "This one would pay more. Apparently, I'm going to need the extra money if I'm expected to pay rent to stay here." Hopefully, she wouldn't have to stay long. "Can you please tell me where my keys are?"
Charlie set his beer on the side table and braced his hands on his knees. "Bella, there's something we need to talk about." He nodded towards the couch, "Why don't you have a seat."
"What's going on?"
"I'm afraid I had to take away the truck from you."
The news felt like a punch in the gut. "What!?"
"It's only temporary."
"You can't do that! How will I get to school?"
"You're always refusing Mike's offers to drive you in. Start accepting them."
"What about work? You want me to have a job!"
"The sporting goods store is within walking distance."
"The bookstore isn't!"
"Then it's a good thing you haven't applied, now isn't it?"
Hot, angry tears blurred Bella's vision. "Why are you doing this? I haven't done anything wrong! My grades are good, the house is clean, the laundry is done…"
"It's to prevent something that could happen."
"Like what!?" Bella wailed.
Charlie unfolded and refolded his hands. "Mike told me you've been hanging around one of the troublemakers at school."
Bella's jaw dropped wide open.
"We both agreed that it might be best to take action before it could turn into a problem."
"So, because I talked to another boy at school, Mike came crying to my daddy?"
Charlie's face tightened. "Don't get mad at Mike, Bella. He's worried about you. That's it."
"Who I speak to is none of Mike's business! I broke up with him!"
"Don't start with that, again, Bella. It's not going to change my mind."
"He's my lab partner!" Bella continued, voice rising with her frustration, "He works at the bookshop! What's the harm in talking to someone?"
"According to Mike, the boy isn't unattractive."
"Even better," Bella barked a laugh. "Some boy bats his pretty eyelashes at me, and suddenly I'm on drugs. That's rich, Dad."
"Smart girls are capable of bad decisions. Especially under the wrong influence."
"And why have we decided he's the wrong influence? You don't even know him!"
Anger flashed in Charlie's eyes. "And you do?"
It broke her heart to admit—just to herself—that she didn't. Not truly. The boy from Alaska hid behind far too many masks.
"And there's our problem, right there," Charlie declared, voice growing louder as his face reddened. "I've been on the force eighteen years, Bella. You know the type of kids that wind up in my jail cells? The deadbeat kids with nothing. Kids whose mothers can't be bothered to pay attention to them, so they do anything to get the attention of someone else—mostly me! He's an angry kid, Isabella! And I sure as hell ain't gonna let his anger focus on you!"
Edward wasn't angry. He was broken and hurting. Something was wrong and the answer was within the pages of those books. She was on the cusp. She just had to keep reading.
"Now," Charlie demanded, still tomato red, but no longer shouting. "You are going to listen to me and listen to Mike. The two people with your best interests in mind. Do you understand me?"
Bella understood. Loud and clear. She wasn't going to make any decisions on her own any time soon. She couldn't break up with Mike. She couldn't get a job where she wanted. She couldn't even drive anywhere on her own.
"I believe I asked you a question, Isabella."
Bella ground her teeth. "Yes," she choked out, "I understand."
Bella spent the rest of the night in her room, yet again. Refusing to fold under impossible odds. Charlie didn't play fair. He ordered pizza. Bella fought valiantly against the wafting scent of mozzarella, tomato, and oregano.
She cradled Dracula in her lap, wondering if it was worth staying up late to finish it. For what troubled Bella the most was that Charlie was right. Not right enough to take away her truck, obviously. But when it came to Edward, she was reckless. He could stop her heart with a tender look. And she would do anything to receive such a look. Already, she dug herself into this hole, solely for him.
Bella was at a loss for what to do. She wanted to yell and scream at Edward as much as she wanted to fall at his feet. As she often did, she turned to her heroines for help. Amy March knocked sense into Laurie's thick skull. Elizabeth brought Darcy down a peg or two. But Christine gave up her life in the light for Raoul. Buttercup trusted in Westley's true love to save her from her fate.
Did Bella want to use her strong will or her soft heart?
Biting her lip, she traced the title of Dracula with her pinky. It was written in gold leaf on a soft leather-bound book. Far fancier than any of the other books in the school library. She owed it to Edward to at least see what Mina would do for Jonathon.
Perhaps she used both.
Even after a long night of reading, Bella woke up extra early. Partially to avoid Charlie, partially because she didn't have her truck and refused to call Mike for a ride. Which meant she was going to have to walk to school. She checked the fridge for leftover pizza. Either Charlie was especially hungry or petty enough to throw out the rest, because the fridge was empty.
Bella took a deep, calming breath through her nose.
If her father wanted to starve her out, fine. She could do the same to him. After all, she did all the cooking. She promised herself she would stop by the store that night and pick up plenty of ingredients for meals for one.
Ignoring her rumbling stomach, Bella pulled on her rain boots and her rain jacket. Just as her hand touched the doorknob, a roll of thunder echoed in the sky. Bella pushed the door open and bit back a groan. The rain had picked up since she'd woken up.
She braced herself.
She would not cave.
She slammed the front door shut enough to rattle the frame. An indication to tell Charlie she had left, in case he tried to check up on her.
The walk to school wasn't necessarily terrible. There was no sidewalk in her neighborhood, but cars were slow enough to avoid her. The brief walk through a section of town offered her a respite from the storm. But then, she had to turn onto the four-lane road that offered no sidewalk nor guardrail. Presumably, because no one was stupid enough to walk around in this wet, miserable place.
Rain pelted her skin. Howling wind whipped through her, shaking her to the bone. Lightning cracked through the sky, illuminating the sky an eerie shade of purple. Then, the world plunged back into darkness with a low rumble. Bella trudged along a thin slip of grass between cars and the impenetrable forest.
"Bella!" she barely heard her name through the downpour. "What on Earth are you doing?"
A shiny, silver Volvo slowed to her walking pace, on the wrong side of the road.
Edward leaned out the window. "Get in, now!"
Bella stared straight ahead, refusing to look at him. She forged ahead.
"Please, please get in the car, Bella." He tried again, uselessly. "Would you please get in the car?"
The offer was tempting. Bella's teeth were chattering. Her empty stomach rumbled under her crossed arms.
"I'm getting breakfast before school." Bella didn't hear the Volvo stop or the sound of the door, but suddenly Edward was beside her, shielding her with an umbrella. "Why don't you join me?"
Without her permission, Bella's head nodded robotically. She could have sworn he said something else, but another roll of thunder overpowered his voice. Edward kept the umbrella over her head—though she was already soaked through—and led her to the passenger seat of the car.
"May I ask why you decided the middle of torrential downpour was the perfect time for a morning stroll?"
"No."
"You could have gotten sick or struck by lightning!" he scolded. "You can hardly remain upright on dry, solid ground, what made you think you could walk through slick, wet grass along the side of the road without winding up hurt!?"
"God, enough with the lecture!" Bella seethed. "I've had enough of the men in my life bossing me around, deciding what's best for me without my permission. I am not a helpless damsel, nor am I some thoughtless bimbo!"
"I'm sorry," Edward said after a beat of silence. "It's just…" he sighed deeply. "I don't know."
Bella watched Edward fiddle with the temperature controls with long, graceful fingers. Hot air blew from the vents. Bella pulled her hair out from her hood and fluffed it out over her shoulders. She wasn't sure what she could do about her soaking wet clothing. The rain jacket and umbrella could only do so much. Edward realized this when Bella did, and pulled out one of his hoodies from the back seat and handed it to her, wordlessly. She pulled off her wet jacket and sweater. Without asking for permission, she tossed them in the back.
"I admit, it was a stupid thing to do," Bella admitted after a few quiet moments.
"Acknowledgment is that first step to addressing a problem," Edward said in a light, teasing tone. When Bella said nothing else, he added, more seriously, "I also didn't need to yell. You scared me, is all."
Bella stared ahead into the windshield, trying very hard not to put meaning into his words.
"Where are we going?" she asked, realizing the unrecognizable blur of colors meant they were out of Forks.
The car stopped. "We're here."
Bella blinked. Suddenly, they were in a parking lot. Bella pushed the door open. Edward was beside her, with the umbrella over her head, faster than she expected. Together they walked up to the diner. It was at the end of a strip mall. An outdoor seating extended into the parking lot, currently unused. The winds of the storm blew the tent-like structure.
Edward led Bella to the door. The inside was dull and dreary. A sad song played from an old jukebox. The yellow paint was long faded, and the leather on the booths was cracked and worn of color. It was either going to be the best food she'd ever eaten, or the worst. She stepped up to the hostess as Edward shook off the umbrella in the vestibule.
"Table for two, please."
"Of course. Caught in the rain?" the kindly woman smiled.
Bella nodded, sheepishly.
"I'll sit you under the heater, Sweetie."
They were brought to a booth for four people in the far corner. Bella sat up straight, expecting a menu, but quickly realized the menu was on the paper placemat in front of her. She scanned the opinions, feeling Edward's eyes on her. She ignored them the best that she could, but her body always felt deliciously exposed under his golden gaze.
She never wanted his eyes off her. She wanted to live under his protective stare.
She had been so enthralled by Edward's attention, that she nearly gasped in shock when the waitress addressed her. She looked to him for a clue of what the waitress asked her. Edward's expression was inscrutable.
"Um," Bella gulped. "I'm going to have the breakfast platter. Fried eggs. White toast. Roasted potatoes. Banana pancakes. No meat." It was a lot of food, but she didn't care—she was starving. If Edward found her repugnant, that was his problem. In fact, a defiant part of her wanted him to find her unsettling. Payback for the many times he'd unsettled her.
"I'll have the same."
Bella waited until the waitress was out of sight before she addressed the obvious. "You don't eat gluten. Or dairy. Or sugar."
He massaged his temple with one hand, his elbow resting on the table. "Whoops."
"Do you have multiple personality disorder?"
"It sure seems that way, doesn't it?"
Bella clenched her jaw. "So, you're just an impulsive liar, then."
"How do you know it's not both?"
Bella crossed her arms over her chest. "I hate talking to you when you're like this."
Expecting nothing more from him, Bella read the lunch and dinner menu on the opposite side of the placemat. She thought about returning to try their soup special.
"I read Tuck Everlasting."
That surprised Bella. She asked him about it only yesterday. Though, it was a quick read. Bella finished in under three hours. "You did?"
"Another of your childhood favorites?"
"No, actually. I'd only just read it."
The waitress stopped by with two glasses of water, a dish of butter, and a syrup dispenser. Edward pulled the dispenser into his hand and toyed with the lid.
"What did you think of it?"
"It's as good as a children's book can be, I think."
Edward nodded, staring at nothing. "And the ending?"
Jesse gave Winnie a bottle of water from the fountain, telling her to drink from it when she turned seventeen so they could be together forever. The Tuck family escaped and returned years later to find Winnie's grave in a cemetery, proud to see she chose to continue living the normal way.
"Winnie made the wrong choice."
Something flashed in Edward's eyes, too quick for Bella to discern. "You think she should have become an immortal? Even after all the warnings she received, after seeing the hardships the Tucks faced? You wished she drank that water?"
Bella held her chin up higher. "She turned down a chance at happiness and love."
"Oh, so it's just another love story to you?"
His tone grated her. Unlike Eric and Tyler and Mike and all the others she let beat her down, she snapped back at Edward, "It's not foolish to fight for love," she began. "But, it goes beyond that. Winnie gave up the opportunity to escape her overbearing family and that nothing town. To grow beyond what was expected of her."
Edward leaned in, his eyes swirling with emotion Bella could not fathom. "You can do that while staying human, Bella."
"Some can't," she argued back.
His dazzling eyes smoldered into something Bella did not want to put a name to. If she admitted to herself what she saw in his gaze, she would be a goner.
"You can."
She tore her eyes away from his. She wanted to believe him. She really did. But she had no funds, no one to turn to, no one to help her get out of this place. They took away her truck, what was next? Her shoes? Her jacket? Or maybe they would do to her what Charlie did to Renee. Put a baby in her belly and dare her to remain where she was or escape, burdened with a child she would grow to resent.
Bella's fate was set.
"What inspired you to read it?" Bella asked, trying to stop her thoughts from spiraling too quickly.
"You brought it up," Edward said, simply. "I could ask the same of you."
"It was given to me."
"By whom?"
By you, Bella thought to herself.
The waitress returned with two plates of steaming plates that smelled richly of salt and butter. Bella quickly removed the fat ball of butter from the pancakes before it could melt completely. She took one of the runny eggs, balanced it carefully on the piece of toast, and took a bite. The egg popped. She let the golden yolk run over the potatoes. Then, took a bite of those.
Absolute heaven.
She had no idea how Edward managed to find this hole-in-the-wall breakfast place with his rigorous diet. Especially since his plate sat in front of him completely untouched.
"Bella, who gave you that book?"
"I don't know."
"How do you not know?" he demanded, exasperated now.
"It was checked out under my name at the school library. Along with Dracula and The Picture of Dorian Gray."
Edward looked disturbed, which gave Bella a great sense of pleasure. She stuffed a forkful of potatoes in her mouth.
"Do you know why you were given these books?"
Bella shrugged. She wasn't going to be the first to give anything away. She kept her attention on her plate. Though he was outwardly irritated, Edward let her eat and didn't push her for more information. He gave her his toast when she ran out and let her pluck the crispiest potatoes out from his pile.
She smiled as he pushed his hair out of his face and grumbled to himself. He wasn't going to trick her with his silly little act of ignorance. Not after she had it all figured out.
Summer 2004
It was official. Bella was in a dream. There was no conceivable way any of it was real.
She had her doubts. They began when Edward told her to wear a bathing suit. They were further exacerbated when he pulled off at a random section of the road, nowhere near a trail marker. She nearly got back into the car when he held aside a low-hanging branch, guiding her into the untamed wilderness.
But Bella trusted Edward. And her trust was well honored.
Beyond the first few steps, the landscape cleared up and evened out, more direct than any trail she'd ever walked. The sound of rushing water was to their left, but the trees never thinned out enough for Bella to see the river. At the end of the path, Edward let her push through the pine branches, revealing a spectacular view. Bella gaped and marveled at the waterfall, thinking this was their destination. But Edward urged her forward. Tucked around an impressive outcropping of stone and up a steep path of rocks that seemed to form a set of stairs, was a hot spring. Hidden away in this secret corner of the world.
It was not much bigger than a large hot tub. At Edward's insistence, she put her hand in the water and gasped. It felt like bath water, warm and luxurious.
She turned to ask, "How did you find this place?"
"Dumb luck."
Bella shook her head, too spellbound to push him for more.
A burst of cold air brought goosebumps to her skin when she removed her clothes. She climbed into the water, eager for its warmth. She nearly moaned with pleasure. The water shifted as Edward joined her. Too shy to look at him shirtless, Bella toyed with the way the light refracted on her hands in the clear water until he settled beside her.
To her astonishment, he cupped her calf in his hand.
"What are you doing?" she gasped, unable to hide her pleasure.
"Just checking something…" He ran his hand down her first calf, then the other. His hands were cold compared to the warm water of the hot spring but comforting. She would curl up and nestle into his cupped palms if she could.
She could barely hear him over the thud of her beating heart. "No broken bones, just as I expected." He smiled at her. Her heart nearly sputtered to a stop. "You survived a nature walk, fully intact. How do you feel, accomplishing such a feat?"
She splashed him in the face with the warm water, ignoring the hitch in her breath as the water droplets clung to his chiseled features.
"We still have the entire way back," she managed to tease.
"I'll carry you back, if I must."
Bella considered twisting her ankle to ensure that plan. He must have seen the thought in her story-telling eyes, because he added, "Throw you over my shoulder like a sack of potatoes."
"Hey!"
"A very lovely sack of potatoes," he assured her.
They talked and marveled at the scenery and avoided the topic of the upcoming fall. It was the best day Bella could remember. Second only to the day she first saw him.
"Thank you for taking me here. I feel bad that you got guilted into it."
His lips pressed into a line. "I wasn't guilted into anything."
"She wasn't always this bad," Bella spoke in a low voice, hoping the roar of the waterfall would overpower the confession. "Renee."
But of course, Edward heard her. "I'm glad to hear that."
"We used to be best friends. We had pizza and movie nights. We would wake up at dawn so we could spend our mornings together at the local diner. One time," Bella chuckled, fondly, "we competed in a twenty-four-hour dance marathon because Renee's partner's wife thought my mom was too pretty and didn't want him to dance with her. We barely danced—she couldn't risk me falling. She just dragged me along the floor the entire time. Apparently, that was the proper technique, because we came in second."
A short-lived smile crossed his face, as he attempted to share her joy in the memory. She understood how he could struggle to see the humor in anything that involved Renee.
"Then, a year or so ago, she started dating again. He was my English teacher, so she hid it from me for a while. I guess sneaking around suited her, because even after I found out and got used to the idea, she still avoided me. I guess her budding relationship revealed everything I took from her. I don't really know."
"You didn't take anything away from her, Bella."
Bella wasn't sure if that was true.
"Families are supposed to give and take. And if that woman can't appreciate everything you've given her, I'm afraid there's no hope for her."
Touched by his kind words, Bella reached for his hand, under the water. He did not pull away, but he did not take hers in his, either. She brushed her knuckle along his thumb. His skin was smooth and the same, warm temperature of the water. Desiring more, Bella changed the subject to something that could put him at ease, "Tell me about your family."
He exhaled sharply. "What would you like to know?"
"Everything." She could sit in the hot spring and listen to him speak until the water ran cold and her fingers turned to prunes.
"Well," Edward started slowly, choosing his words carefully, "for starters, my family is far from traditional."
"What do you mean? Do you not live with your parents?"
"Not my biological parents. They got sick," a tense pause. "They died."
Bella pulled away from him, regretting her question. Apparently, this was not going to be a wholesome topic to cuddle over. "I'm so sorry, Edward."
"It's okay. It happened a long time ago. I was alone in a hospital in Chicago when I was found by the man who took me in. Anyone who's ever had the pleasure of meeting him would agree that he has the kindest, most compassionate soul in this world."
Bella pressed her knee to his, feeling hopeful once more. "That sounds nice…"
"It was. He became a father to me. The time when it was just him and me was the most tumultuous of my life. I was scared and angry and cruel yet received more grace and patience than I had ever experienced."
Bella smiled as the Edward who sat beside her began to take shape. She always wondered how he exuded cool, steady confidence and offered sage insight at such a young age. It was taught to him. "What happened next? You said you had siblings."
"I do," he nodded, "But before that, another joined our little makeshift family. A woman running from an abusive husband and a still newborn."
Edward winced at Bella's pallor.
"Sorry," he apologized. "I should spare you the details…"
"No, no," Bella pulled her knees into her chest, thoughts of cuddling a distant dream. "I want to hear it all."
"She required a lot of private attention. She was in pain. And looking at me brought her more grief, for I was a reminder of what her son would never be. I did my best to stay out of the way until she was ready."
Bella sensed a pattern coming. By the end of this story, she was going to understand his apprehension toward romantic love.
"They fell in love," Edward said, staring into the jut of rock before him, as if he could see pictures in the speckled stone. "It was inevitable. Two hearts such as theirs were meant to be. And she eagerly stepped into the role of my mother once she was ready. I was grateful, honestly. Happy to be her son. But things were never quite the same…"
Bella merely bit her lips and nodded.
"Rosalie was next," he continued. "My sister in every way except by blood. She would throttle me if the first thing I said wasn't about her beauty. She's exquisite—and pigheaded. We bicker as often as we breathe. But I would walk through fire for her. She'd do the same for me."
"And how did Rosalie..?"
"Beaten and left for dead by a boyfriend."
"Oh."
"Then, we found Emmett. A boisterous guy without a care in the world—even though he was rescued from nearly-fatal a bear attack."
Bella had heard both names before. "And they also fell in love."
"The phrase 'opposites attract' was coined solely for them. Never would I have put them together, but seeing them…" he shook his head, "…I can't imagine them apart. They like to live away from us. As a couple living on their own. It's not much different. They spend so much time at the main house, you can't even tell they leave."
But they do leave, Bella thought. Leaving Edward behind, once more.
"Alice and Jasper came next. They were sort of a package deal."
"Alice is your best friend." He'd spoken of her before. All stories of Alice were laced with genuine adoration and bewilderment.
He nodded. Half of his mouth quirked up into a half smile. "She is my best friend. Rose and I may die for the other, but Alice and I live for each other. We see the world in similar ways."
Bella couldn't help but share his smile, touched by Edward's love for his sisters.
"She is Jasper's everything. He followed her into the family, though we can all sort of tell he rather not be there. He would follow her through hell, holding her purse and hat gloves."
And in such a companionship, there would not be much room for three. Bella's heart sank with Edward's shoulders.
"Those are the basics, I suppose. Anything else you'd like to know?"
More than anything, Bella wanted to press Edward for more information about these three seemingly perfect love stories. They all sounded straight out of a romance, with dire circumstances, hurt and comfort, forced proximity. But Bella could tell from the set of Edward's mouth that he did not wish to talk about it anymore. So, she shook her head.
She could, however, distract him from his own thoughts. Just like he did by bringing her here. Drawing courage from Juliet and Meg March, Bella settled closer to him. She pressed her leg fully against his and angled her shoulders in a way that his arm could drape perfectly across them.
It didn't.
Bella tried not to take that to heart.
"Is it going to be difficult going back to a full house after a summer alone?"
"I'll be at Dartmouth."
"Oh. Right." Bella quickly recalculated, trying to get a response that would encourage him to draw her into his arms. "Well, you'll be back with them all eventually. For someone who doesn't enjoy romance novels, finding yourself in three at once must be strange."
It was the wrong thing to say, Bella realized too late. His jaw—the jaw she was supposed to brush with her thumb as they kissed—tensed. He pushed back the strands of hair she was going to tuck back into place. She had no idea why she thought this would be a good moment for her first attempt at flirting. She wondered if she should start crying. That wielded better results thus far. She was already feeling choked up.
"I'm used to it." He offered her a sad smile. One Bella wanted to scrub off his face and demand it never be placed there again. "There are more stories out there than Austen and Bronte. Sometimes, stories are closer to Hugo or Leroux."
"People who want to go to Paris?" Her joke sorely lacked humor.
"People who were always meant to be alone."