Chapter 4: Hermione

—

Seventeen year-old Harry Potter looked at the screen before him. Destiny had left him just four large windows to view while she was sleeping. Three were paused for the time being. One began to play.

–

"Hermione," fourteen year-old Harry said, closing his Ancient Runes textbook and setting it in the grass beside him.

"Yes, Harry?" The brown haired girl replied looking up from her copy of the same book. The two friends were spending their Saturday afternoon under the big birch tree near the Black Lake doing their assigned reading for Ancient Runes. Hermione was leaned up against the tree whilst Harry had been laying out on his back as he'd read. The leaves on the tree had changed to a brilliant orange. Only a few had begun to fall."

"How do I know if I… er… oh, nevermind," Harry said, quickly picking his book back up.

"What is it, Harry?" Hermione said, now closing her own book and setting it aside. "Whatever is the matter, I promise I'll try to help you."

"Nothing's the matter, Hermione," Harry said quickly. "I just… How do I know if I… fancy someone?"

Hermione's eyes bugged but she quickly schooled her features. "You, er… fancy someone?"

"That's just it," Harry said. "I don't know. Maybe? There's a girl I've been thinking about a lot recently… and I'm not sure if I have a crush or if I'm just being weird."

"You're… not sure if you fancy her?" Hermione asked. "Do you want me to help you figure out if you fancy her then? Who is it?"

"Yeah, I'd appreciate it if you helped me figure that out. I… don't know if I should tell you who she is," Harry said. "I'm a bit embarrassed about it."

"Is it someone I know?" Hermione asked skeptically. Harry did have several more acquaintances than Hermione had so there was a chance she didn't know the mystery girl. She tended to keep to just her close friends.

"Oh, yeah, you know her really well," Harry said. "Wait, that might have been too much information. You're smart. You're going to figure out who I'm talking about…"

"I… know her well?" Hermione said, now avoiding his eyes.

"Yeah, really well," Harry blushed, also unwilling to look directly at her.

"Okay… I think I know who you're talking about," Hermione said, now also blushing. "And I think I understand why you don't want to say her name out loud."

"I… yeah… thanks for understanding," Harry said. "Anyways… She's like a sister to me."

"...and you're afraid that you might be confusing brotherly love for romantic love…" Hermione finished for him.

"Exactly!" Harry said. "And I'm also worried if we try to date and then break up that our friendship won't ever be the same afterwards."

"Yes, well, that's definitely a valid reason to hesitate confessing your feelings," Hermione said, now chewing on a strand of her hair. Chewing her hair was a nervous habit she'd always had that Harry found a little funny, but also a little cute. She never even realized she was doing it.

"And to complicate things, she fancies me," Harry said. "Like, there's no question about it, I know she fancies me. Knowing that makes me feel like I really need to hurry up and figure out how I feel. I shouldn't keep her waiting."

She looked panicked now. "What? How can you possibly know with certainty that she fancies you? What if she's also struggling with identifying what type of love she feels towards you? I'm sure she's not really sure if the love you share with her is romantic or platonic… I mean… she hasn't told you she has romantic feelings for you…"

"She never had to tell me," Harry said. "I could tell by the way she looks at me. It was obvious really."

"Oh, Harry… look, I can't play this game with pronouns anymore. This is too complicated for me to keep saying 'she' instead of 'I'. In any case, Harry, I'm actually really glad you shared this with me. I care very strongly for you as well and sometimes I think it might feel something more than platonic love for you. It's a huge relief to know you feel the same. At least now I know we're both confused together."

"What?" Harry said, looking genuinely confused. "Hermione, I was talking about Ginny. You thought I was talking about… you? … Well that makes sense why you could think that…"

"Oh my God, Harry, just kill me," Hermione said, burying her face in her hands. She was redder than a beet "Of course you'd never like me that way. I don't know why I thought you ever could. I'm ugly. Who could ever want me? Please pretend I never said that. I know my place now, Harry. I'm your friend, nothing more."

"Hermione! Calm down!" Harry said. "And don't talk about yourself like that! Me fancying you isn't some outrageous concept. I really could have been talking about you. This is my fault for being vague. Anyone would be lucky to date you, Hermione, you're amazing!"

"I…you really mean that, Harry?" Hermione asked, pulling her hands away from her face finally. She was clearly on the verge of tears but had not begun to cry.

"Yes, I mean that… and actually I think you helped me realize something," Harry smiled. He reached out and took her hand. "First, I realized that while I've been thinking about Ginny a bit more than normal recently, I'm pretty certain I still think about you more than her. Since you occupy my thoughts more than she does, if I do fancy anyone, I think it's you."

Hermione perked up at that comment.

"Well, now that the kneazle is out of the bag…" Hermione said, "Harry I've always seen you and Ron and Neville basically as brothers… but there's always been something special about you that sets you apart from them. I've always had this thought in the back of my head that one day we might be more than just friends."

"I never really think about my future like that," Harry said. "I mean, Voldemort or one of his followers could show up and murder me basically at any moment."

"Honestly, Harry, that's why I wasn't ever going to say anything to you about how I feel about you," Hermione said. "If we dated and then you died, I'd be totally heartbroken. I don't know if I can handle that."

"I wish there was something I could do to figure out my feelings for you and Ginny," Harry said. "Thanks for talking with me about this, Hermione, but I don't think I'm actually any closer to an answer. I don't want to date either of you unless I'm sure of how I feel.

"Well… there is one thing we could do to try and figure it out," Hermione blushed, avoiding his gaze once more.

"What?" Harry asked, tilting his head to the side in curiocity.

Hermione turned and leaned towards him a little. "We could… um… we could…" She placed her hand on his leg to keep her balance as she leaned in a little more. She was staring intently at him and biting her chapped lip nervously. This was another habit she had that Harry found cute. If she wasn't chewing on her hair she was often chewing on her lip. Her lips were always chapped but they were never rough enough to bleed or cause major discomfort.

Harry backed away from her advance. "What, have I got something on my face?" he asked, not understanding why she was leaning in towards him.

"I… no," Hermione blushed.

"Well then what are you doing?" Harry laughed.

Hermione signed. "Boys are so clueless," she mused. "Harry… I was saying I have a way to figure out if the love we share between us is platonic or romantic. You're not sure. I'm not sure. I just figured…"

"Yeah, you said you know how to find out, but then you stopped talking and started stuttering-" Harry began.

"Harry!" Hermione groaned, interrupting him. "We could kiss!"

"What?!" Harry jumped. "You want to… you were going to… kiss me?"

"Well not if you don't want to," Hermione huffed, leaning away and pulling her hand off of his leg. She crossed her arms and looked away from him.

"No, wait, that makes sense!" Harry said, grabbing her by the arm and not letting her lean away. "Sorry, I'm slow. I just… yeah, let's do that."

"You're sure?" Hermione frowned. "You didn't want to, like, two seconds ago."

"I didn't know what you were doing, you didn't say anything!" Harry defended.

"Just forget it, Harry," Hermione huffed, unable to pull away as he still had a hold of her. "Maybe you should go and kiss Ginny and see if there are any sparks. If you really wanted to kiss me then you would have-"

But Harry cut her off, mid sentence, with his own lips. His lips were soft and supple and hers were rough and chapped. Harry forgot to close his eyes, or rather, he didn't know he was supposed to. He found himself smiling into the kiss at the look of surprise on Hermione's face paired with the fact she was not pulling away.

She too failed to close her eyes but this was due to her surprise. As their lips pressed together, she took a full second to realize what was happening. After that second of panic she began to kiss him back… or rather, she pressed her lips back against his lips awkwardly.

After just four or five seconds of a very chase, very long single closed mouth kiss, the two pulled apart.

"Harry, I… I…" Hermione stuttered, unable to form a sentence.

"Did that, er… help you figure out your feelings for me?" Harry asked sheepishly. "Because I'm honestly still confused."

"I don't know," Hermione whispered back. "It, uh… it was very nice. Maybe we could do it again? To, um… see if that helps us decide?"

Harry nodded and began to lean in towards her once more. This time Hermione met him half way and also closed her eyes. Harry noticed this and closed his eyes too.

This time they both moved their lips a bit. They stayed together exchanging about ten closed mouth kisses this time. Harry realized that kissing felt a little more natural if he was aiming for one lip rather than both. By the last kiss he figured out you're supposed to suck on each other's lips a little.

"Harry… I i really liked that," Hermione whispered as they pulled apart.

"Yeah," Harry grinned. "Me too."

"So, um… are we, like… a couple then?" Hermione asked.

"I'd like that," Harry replied. "But let's not overthink this. I still want to do all the things we currently do together. I like our current relationship. I don't want anything to change… except, we can maybe, like, hold hands and kiss sometimes."

"I agree, Harry," Hermione smiled. "I don't want to be a couple that snogs all the time or gets all lovey dovey with cute nicknames. All that stuff feels fake to me anyway."

"Oh man, no nicknames? I can't call you Herms?" Harry asked.

Hermione feigned vomiting. "Yuck, Harry, do not call me Herms. I just meant don't call me sweetie or darling or anything like that. You can give me a normal nickname. I mean, my parents call me Mione. You can call me that."

"Mione… yeah, sure, I'll give that a try," Harry said.

—

Harry and Hermione sat in the stands and watched in shock and awe as the champions fought their dragons. Hermione was genuinely terrified and Harry was holding her hand. At one point, Cedric's dragon sent a burst of flames their way and Hermione screamed, diving to the floor. A ward shield flashed into visibility and ate the dragon's flames before vanishing once more.

—

"Well if I'd have known there was a ward scheme protecting the stands I wouldn't have been so scared," Hermione huffed as she, Harry, Ron, and Neville all made their way back up to the castle after the task.

"Oh, come off it," Ron laughed. "I know you saw the runestones at the edges of the arena. You pointed them out to us! You weren't scared. You just wanted to hold Harry's hand."

"No, Ronald, I was not making excuses to hold Harry's hand," Hermione responded. "I can hold Harry's hand any time I like. I don't need an excuse." She reached out and took his hand as they walked just to prove her point. Her face blushed deep red at this very public display. There were lots of other students nearby also walking back to the castle.

"The truth is I didn't get a good look at the runestones so I didn't know what protections were in place. Now stop teasing me for dodging dragon fire. I honestly can't believe you all didn't try to duck away from it too."

Ron looked ready to retort but he caught Harry's eye. Harry gave his head a shake and Ron dropped it.

"So, have you all got your homework all done?" Neville asked. "I have. I'm going to sign up to help in the greenhouse this evening."

"Mione and I still have our Rune's assignment," Harry said.

"I thought you did that yesterday," Ron frowned. "You guys aren't ditching me and using Runes as an excuse are you?"

"I'd never do that to you, Ron," Harry replied. "If I was ditching you for some alone time with Mione, I'd tell you I was ditching you."

"Can we stop with the cute nicknames, please?" Ron groaned.

"Honestly, Ronald, I've told you already that my parents call me Mione and that Harry didn't give me that nickname. You and Neville can call me Mione as well."

"No, I don't think I will," Ron replied. "If I do that you're going to want to start calling me what my mum calls me."

"What's your mum call you?" Neville grinned.

"Don't even," Ron said, rounding on Harry.

"Ronnie," Harry said, ignoring Ron completely.

"Awe, Ronnie… that's so cute!" said Lavender who had been walking with Parvati back to the castle and had been close enough to hear Harry.

"Damn it, Harry!" Ron shouted before speeding up and leaving them all behind.

—

"Do you think Ron's actually upset with us?" Hermione asked as Harry settled on the couch beside her in the common room. She leaned on him and took his hand in hers. Ron was sitting with Neville, Dean, and Seamus on the other side of the room.

"I think he just isn't used to us dating," Harry said. "It's annoying actually. Neville doesn't mind. Even Ginny took it well. What's his problem?"

"Harry, are you sure we're ready for this?" Hermione said, suddenly changing the subject.

"What do you mean?" Harry asked.

"This…us… you know, dating," she said.

"I'm enjoying it if that's what you mean," Harry said. "Are you unhappy? We can go back to being friends if you want. I won't be mad."

"I am happy, Harry, really, I am," Hermione said, squeezing his hand. "It's just… I think we rushed into this. I feel like we're so young."

"I totally get how you feel," Harry said. "I felt the same way the first time I talked to Ginny about her feelings for me. That was years ago."

"Do you think we're too young, Harry?" She asked.

"I'm ready for this, but if you aren't, we should stop," he said.

"I'm sorry Harry," Hermione said. "Can we try dating again in a year or two?"

"Yeah, of course. If that's what you need," Harry said.

"Thank you, Harry," Hermine smiled. "I definitely still fancy you… I'm just not ready. You can date anyone else you want obviously. Don't wait around for me to be ready."

"Are you sure?" Harry said. "If you like me, why would you want me to date other girls?"

"It's not my place to tell you not to date," Hermione said.

"We should probably stop doing this then," Harry said, holding up their clasped hands.

"Oh…right,' Hermione said, releasing him. She pulled a notebook and her text book out of her bag and started reviewing her notes.

"Uh, Mione?" Harry began. "Wait, I can still call you Mione, right?"

"Yes, Harry, you can still call me Mione," she smiled. "I actually want Neville and Ron to call me Mione as well. It's nice to have a nickname your friends call you."

"Good, because I like calling you that too. So, shouldn't we, uh… stop cuddling?" Harry asked. Hermione may have let his hand go but she was still leaning on him.

"Do we have to?" She asked sadly.

"Mione, you just broke up with me," Harry laughed. "Friends don't cuddle."

"Sure they do," Hermione said, gesturing to Lavender and Parvati who were, indeed, leaning on one another. Parvati was even playing with Lavender's hair.

"Uh, okay, so no more kisses or hand holding… but cuddles are fine?" Harry asked.

"I think I'd like that," Hermione said. "And I'd like to keep hugging you as often as we've been hugging recently. We rarely hugged before we started dating but there's no reason not to keep hugging each other."

"Sure," Harry grinned. "Hugs and cuddles sound great."