p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="30eaeceb9612750b79135013b44868d6"or: span style="font-weight: bold;"Transformers: Murder Prime Literally Kills Earth/span/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="30eaeceb9612750b79135013b44868d6"or:span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;" Transformers: Fall of the Revenging Last Dark Earth/span/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="30eaeceb9612750b79135013b44868d6" /p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="d555c863b32e115bbb11010faf847f23"Quintessa's human avatar was consumed by the earth as the surface collapsed. She had failed her mission. She could not stop Unicron./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="d7aed9e53914c553eebad84536781e09"The earth unfolds into a spiky yellow satyr with wings and horns./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="07a7976a77fd2fab6a284795c41d28a7"Earth, now Satyr-shaped, continued to spin. The seasons and day-night cycle would continue, because Earth's mass and inertia had not changed. The universe of species living outside the solar system watched in amazement on their televisions, receiving hijacked transmissions from earth's old Google Maps satellites. Of course, they didn't get to see until hundreds of years later, because of the speed of light and all that./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="21c096366975b29819c38190757b06aa"Unicron pulled a towel out of his back pocket and dried off his nether regions, absorbing all the moisture from the world's oceans. The last of the reefs and deep-sea creatures died./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="8b0c3bd88803bad38aa52a9ad23e0bf1"The Amazon Rainforest formed his beard. This was the last refuge of life on earth: all of humanity, all of the various organic animals, and all of the Earth-based transformers died. Save for one./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="2cba72906349d8796589583f86c27d23"A lone, blue, Western Star 1500 OP concept truck floated untethered, in orbit around the monster. Its engine hummed and a cloud of Nitrogen oxides and Hydrocarbons puttered out from its many chrome-plated exhausts. It loomed over its once green home, now yellow, now burning. The truck exuded power and righteous fury./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="55b1b8495a59ce1b4bc28a5d7c06e98e"After a few orbits around the Satyr, the truck was pulled into the gravitational field of another planet – Cybertron. Cybertron was a shambling mess after being destroyed in the attack against Unicron by Quintessa. The truck entered Cybertron's atmosphere, and endured re-entry. Its Micheline tires took the impact like a champ, as you should expect from Micheline's entire line of products. It landed in a region of the planet known as the "Aynnux." The Aynnux is a tunnel that leads to the very core of the planet, Vector Sigma. The truck began its long journey./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="87ecc8d6deed65e5ad02a923f5b0cbd5"It took many days, but eventually the truck arrived at the core. The truck stood up, ejecting its sleeping passenger. He was a sweaty twenty-something who used to work in a mailroom, back when Earth had buildings. A shard of the allspark embedded in his tonsils shot out a blue jolt of spark energy, which penetrated the sphere at the core of the planet. It sprang to life, whirring and glowing a bright yellow. It hurt the human's eyes./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="bf262df78113f99c2b5dcbb26e40429e"The core spoke./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="d430a81afa660ea569f5c36812622987""Who goes there?" Rattled the glowing, god-like orb./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="47cdab1a35ef1e3600d6aabca7c03c32""Uh, Sam Witwickey. I uh, come from earth. They call me the messenger, um, your highness?" Sam looked at his murderous-truck-robot companion for reassurance, but he was given none./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="a1738cdae1f46f962b1191e604722dd7""Speak child. What is your message?" boomed the core./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="9bd1377c5dee2b92873f24e60aa90c9c""Unicron destroyed my home, I mean, Unicron was my, Unicron screwed everything up." He sweated more. "Is it hot in here? Do you like a warmer, like, environment, or does that just come with, you know, the territory," he made nonsense motions with his hands, "of being a planet's core and all. 'Cause I know our planet's core is, well, my planet's core is – well I guess was – we thought it would be warm, before it transformed so clearly it was a robot–"/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="f6bde359a2cd4ffe891a99fce7b421e1""I get the picture. Now who are you, Cybertronian?"/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="23a12f7a65cc893b81ee6c60a6eb6a6a""I AM OPTIMUS PRIME, LEADER OF THE AUTOBOTS. I AM THE LAST REMAINING CYBERTRONIAN, AUTOBOT OR OTHERWISE. I STAND BEFORE YOU ASKING FOR YOUR ASSISTANCE IN DEFEATING UNICRON, ONCE, AND FOR ALL."/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="70bb0180bdb338960333ea2f2778c46a""Hear this, Optimus Prime, for this is my promise to you," spoke Vector Sigma. Optimus knelt. "You shall be the ancestor of a multitude of nations. No longer shall you name be Optimus Prime, but Star Convoy –"/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="f5449a4ff9dc20002a9e908a444382ed""I AM OPTIMUS PRIME."/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="fab984d25fcfe86888684ea8433b1086""Very well. I will be the god to you and your descendants, and you shall call me Primus. I will make you exceedingly fruitful; I will make nations from you, and Primes shall come from you. I will give you the land of Unicron and the land of my own for you and your descendants to roam."/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="afa1502da4a922b657cb98efd35f511f"Sam stammered, "um, will there be more um, lady bots? I met one in college and I kinda –"/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="5ce7e329890aa9b6d0f12d507bba01c5"Sam was cut off as he and Optimus began to float off the chamber floor and into the air. "Whoah, WHAH! Waoooh.." Sam started flailing hysterically, disoriented by his new weightlessness. The sword on Optimus Prime's back changed shape. It now resembled a fairy wand with a star on the end./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="f3e898d44672e782bf00451b783496bd"Vector Sigma pronounced loudly, "Take hold of your opportunity, Optimus Prime!" Optimus unsheathed the new wand, and held it over his head. "ARISE! SAILOR CYBERTRON!"/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="c18d5fc202ab600fec223f7ed29cf9cb"Optimus's body was engulfed in light. His armor became lost in purple grid lines and ribbon. His form grew many miles taller, wider, and deeper. He was being reformatted. Eventually the glow subsided and Optimus's new gargantuan titan form emerged./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="3d83816369fb70f5c85f05c236ab3c94""And you, Sam, will be his microman. Less than Optimus, but a brother to all new life that springs forth through him." Sam's body glowed only for a moment, enveloped in the same purple grid lines, before being quickly spat back on to the floor. His shirt was now missing and he had a sweet flame tattoo on his chest./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="c060f066cb0018ae0257adea752ccb59""Now go. Unify our lands! Then return. I'm empty-nesting already."/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="79668dacc21baa4252a591b25deadd77""AUTOBOT, TRANSFORM AND ROLLOUT." Optimus assumed his interstellar truck form – a tractor cab pulling a trailer roughly the size of New York. Sam shambled into the cab, slipping and sliding on his own sweat. They rocketed out of the tunnel with Optimus's new battery-operated tracks. They soon reached escape velocity and propelled from Cybertron into the atmosphere of its opposite, the devil-satyr-earth-Unicron. The last Autobot, Optimus Prime, Sailor Cybertron, flew towards the head of the giant, changing into his titanic robot form. Before his upgrade, Optimus was a harmless germ to Unicron. Now he was a deadly toddler./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="197622c88e3ab1f270a90e5cf72c2be0"Sam was relocated by a series of pulleys and pistons into the inner-city of Optimus. In the middle of town square there was a blue light, glimmering over everything./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="ff881ca588fa3393b7602ca5479c95a2""Optimus! It's the Matrix! Or the all-spark! One of them! We can put it in Unicron's chest like we did with Megatron—"/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="e0d30336b3b54e861cd2843c5c0b4a70""UNICROOOOOOOOOON!" Optimus grabbed Unicron by the beard, in one motion eliminating 20% of the remaining earth trees in existence. With both hands, Optimus tore the continent-sized region covering the front of Unicron's skull from its bearings. "GIVE ME YOUR FAAAAAAAAACE!" Trees and other endangered species tumbled out into space./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="62c93ec482e1febda562c4806f8028ec""Optimus! Can you hear me? We have the matrix! There's an easier way—"/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="1f1896a7095336ce7619f1741de22999""QUIET SAM." Optimus's right arm became a gun, which he pointed directly into the mouth of Unicron. You could see the terror in the eyes of Unicron. The yellow devil grabbed Optimus, and tried to pull him away, but the gun had transformed like an expanding tripod, anchoring itself behind Unicron's teeth. In vain, Unicron pleaded muffled cries of desperation as he continued to flail at the prime. Yellow particles shined as they accumulated at the muzzle of Optimus's charging skyscraper gun./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="00fff922e63b4e289d0f88ca97aee86e"The AI running the livestream of the old Google satellite started to zoom out, letting the earth go blurry in the picture. Much to the dismay of the aliens who tuned in to the stream, the satellite backed further and further away so that you could no longer see the combatants at all. All you could see were the galaxies "Milky Way" and "Alpha Centauri."/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="9f3e8d1db4153454c844f13bf9c77fe3""Why are you doing that? We can't see the action!" one particularly grumpy alien shouted at his TV, throwing an energy drink at it with his suction cup fingers./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="4ca86bf4d1850d369800384e0d26a18f"The objections soon halted as a yellow beam of light erupted from one of the arms of the Milky Way, and crossing through its neighboring spiral. When the light faded, you could see that the stars in the path of the beam had gone out, leaving Alpha Centauri 25% dimmer. Optimus's gun blast eradicated the target, and all life in the same vector as his blast./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="d9d8930432cf160223d69f3c6deb4868"It took millennia, but the planet Cybertron and the large cloud of dirt-and-Unicron-crumbs eventually succumbed to the natural forces of gravity. The two planets merged in the natural planet shape: a flat disk. The planet was called "The Autobot Zone." Optimus permanently transformed into his city mode, and new life started to spring up. Mostly from his chrome-plated exhausts. Sam married 40 female pretenders, and there was much rejoicing./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="5ff5aa8e4b38795e1f91e1efa2097155"span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;"Appendix:/span/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 30px 0px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; text-align: center; position: relative;" data-p-id="061fdf895dddc93ccee9bff8a9e531b6" data-media-type="image" data-image-layout="one-horizontal" /p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 30px 0px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; text-align: center; position: relative;" data-p-id="4ae30395bbb190c39d4ec7b4255cece7" data-media-type="image" data-image-layout="one-horizontal" /p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="79a580369b496d81256ce5aa2042187c"Pictured Above: Sam takes his favorite Pretender wife to see Optimus Prime's stage play: em style="box-sizing: border-box;"A Tale of One City./em/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" /p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="30eaeceb9612750b79135013b44868d6"or:span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;" Transformers: Fall of the Revenging Last Dark Earth/span/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="30eaeceb9612750b79135013b44868d6" /p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="d555c863b32e115bbb11010faf847f23"Quintessa's human avatar was consumed by the earth as the surface collapsed. She had failed her mission. She could not stop Unicron./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="d7aed9e53914c553eebad84536781e09"The earth unfolds into a spiky yellow satyr with wings and horns./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="07a7976a77fd2fab6a284795c41d28a7"Earth, now Satyr-shaped, continued to spin. The seasons and day-night cycle would continue, because Earth's mass and inertia had not changed. The universe of species living outside the solar system watched in amazement on their televisions, receiving hijacked transmissions from earth's old Google Maps satellites. Of course, they didn't get to see until hundreds of years later, because of the speed of light and all that./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="21c096366975b29819c38190757b06aa"Unicron pulled a towel out of his back pocket and dried off his nether regions, absorbing all the moisture from the world's oceans. The last of the reefs and deep-sea creatures died./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="8b0c3bd88803bad38aa52a9ad23e0bf1"The Amazon Rainforest formed his beard. This was the last refuge of life on earth: all of humanity, all of the various organic animals, and all of the Earth-based transformers died. Save for one./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="2cba72906349d8796589583f86c27d23"A lone, blue, Western Star 1500 OP concept truck floated untethered, in orbit around the monster. Its engine hummed and a cloud of Nitrogen oxides and Hydrocarbons puttered out from its many chrome-plated exhausts. It loomed over its once green home, now yellow, now burning. The truck exuded power and righteous fury./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="55b1b8495a59ce1b4bc28a5d7c06e98e"After a few orbits around the Satyr, the truck was pulled into the gravitational field of another planet – Cybertron. Cybertron was a shambling mess after being destroyed in the attack against Unicron by Quintessa. The truck entered Cybertron's atmosphere, and endured re-entry. Its Micheline tires took the impact like a champ, as you should expect from Micheline's entire line of products. It landed in a region of the planet known as the "Aynnux." The Aynnux is a tunnel that leads to the very core of the planet, Vector Sigma. The truck began its long journey./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="87ecc8d6deed65e5ad02a923f5b0cbd5"It took many days, but eventually the truck arrived at the core. The truck stood up, ejecting its sleeping passenger. He was a sweaty twenty-something who used to work in a mailroom, back when Earth had buildings. A shard of the allspark embedded in his tonsils shot out a blue jolt of spark energy, which penetrated the sphere at the core of the planet. It sprang to life, whirring and glowing a bright yellow. It hurt the human's eyes./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="bf262df78113f99c2b5dcbb26e40429e"The core spoke./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="d430a81afa660ea569f5c36812622987""Who goes there?" Rattled the glowing, god-like orb./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="47cdab1a35ef1e3600d6aabca7c03c32""Uh, Sam Witwickey. I uh, come from earth. They call me the messenger, um, your highness?" Sam looked at his murderous-truck-robot companion for reassurance, but he was given none./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="a1738cdae1f46f962b1191e604722dd7""Speak child. What is your message?" boomed the core./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="9bd1377c5dee2b92873f24e60aa90c9c""Unicron destroyed my home, I mean, Unicron was my, Unicron screwed everything up." He sweated more. "Is it hot in here? Do you like a warmer, like, environment, or does that just come with, you know, the territory," he made nonsense motions with his hands, "of being a planet's core and all. 'Cause I know our planet's core is, well, my planet's core is – well I guess was – we thought it would be warm, before it transformed so clearly it was a robot–"/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="f6bde359a2cd4ffe891a99fce7b421e1""I get the picture. Now who are you, Cybertronian?"/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="23a12f7a65cc893b81ee6c60a6eb6a6a""I AM OPTIMUS PRIME, LEADER OF THE AUTOBOTS. I AM THE LAST REMAINING CYBERTRONIAN, AUTOBOT OR OTHERWISE. I STAND BEFORE YOU ASKING FOR YOUR ASSISTANCE IN DEFEATING UNICRON, ONCE, AND FOR ALL."/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="70bb0180bdb338960333ea2f2778c46a""Hear this, Optimus Prime, for this is my promise to you," spoke Vector Sigma. Optimus knelt. "You shall be the ancestor of a multitude of nations. No longer shall you name be Optimus Prime, but Star Convoy –"/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="f5449a4ff9dc20002a9e908a444382ed""I AM OPTIMUS PRIME."/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="fab984d25fcfe86888684ea8433b1086""Very well. I will be the god to you and your descendants, and you shall call me Primus. I will make you exceedingly fruitful; I will make nations from you, and Primes shall come from you. I will give you the land of Unicron and the land of my own for you and your descendants to roam."/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="afa1502da4a922b657cb98efd35f511f"Sam stammered, "um, will there be more um, lady bots? I met one in college and I kinda –"/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="5ce7e329890aa9b6d0f12d507bba01c5"Sam was cut off as he and Optimus began to float off the chamber floor and into the air. "Whoah, WHAH! Waoooh.." Sam started flailing hysterically, disoriented by his new weightlessness. The sword on Optimus Prime's back changed shape. It now resembled a fairy wand with a star on the end./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="f3e898d44672e782bf00451b783496bd"Vector Sigma pronounced loudly, "Take hold of your opportunity, Optimus Prime!" Optimus unsheathed the new wand, and held it over his head. "ARISE! SAILOR CYBERTRON!"/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="c18d5fc202ab600fec223f7ed29cf9cb"Optimus's body was engulfed in light. His armor became lost in purple grid lines and ribbon. His form grew many miles taller, wider, and deeper. He was being reformatted. Eventually the glow subsided and Optimus's new gargantuan titan form emerged./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="3d83816369fb70f5c85f05c236ab3c94""And you, Sam, will be his microman. Less than Optimus, but a brother to all new life that springs forth through him." Sam's body glowed only for a moment, enveloped in the same purple grid lines, before being quickly spat back on to the floor. His shirt was now missing and he had a sweet flame tattoo on his chest./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="c060f066cb0018ae0257adea752ccb59""Now go. Unify our lands! Then return. I'm empty-nesting already."/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="79668dacc21baa4252a591b25deadd77""AUTOBOT, TRANSFORM AND ROLLOUT." Optimus assumed his interstellar truck form – a tractor cab pulling a trailer roughly the size of New York. Sam shambled into the cab, slipping and sliding on his own sweat. They rocketed out of the tunnel with Optimus's new battery-operated tracks. They soon reached escape velocity and propelled from Cybertron into the atmosphere of its opposite, the devil-satyr-earth-Unicron. The last Autobot, Optimus Prime, Sailor Cybertron, flew towards the head of the giant, changing into his titanic robot form. Before his upgrade, Optimus was a harmless germ to Unicron. Now he was a deadly toddler./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="197622c88e3ab1f270a90e5cf72c2be0"Sam was relocated by a series of pulleys and pistons into the inner-city of Optimus. In the middle of town square there was a blue light, glimmering over everything./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="ff881ca588fa3393b7602ca5479c95a2""Optimus! It's the Matrix! Or the all-spark! One of them! We can put it in Unicron's chest like we did with Megatron—"/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="e0d30336b3b54e861cd2843c5c0b4a70""UNICROOOOOOOOOON!" Optimus grabbed Unicron by the beard, in one motion eliminating 20% of the remaining earth trees in existence. With both hands, Optimus tore the continent-sized region covering the front of Unicron's skull from its bearings. "GIVE ME YOUR FAAAAAAAAACE!" Trees and other endangered species tumbled out into space./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="62c93ec482e1febda562c4806f8028ec""Optimus! Can you hear me? We have the matrix! There's an easier way—"/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="1f1896a7095336ce7619f1741de22999""QUIET SAM." Optimus's right arm became a gun, which he pointed directly into the mouth of Unicron. You could see the terror in the eyes of Unicron. The yellow devil grabbed Optimus, and tried to pull him away, but the gun had transformed like an expanding tripod, anchoring itself behind Unicron's teeth. In vain, Unicron pleaded muffled cries of desperation as he continued to flail at the prime. Yellow particles shined as they accumulated at the muzzle of Optimus's charging skyscraper gun./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="00fff922e63b4e289d0f88ca97aee86e"The AI running the livestream of the old Google satellite started to zoom out, letting the earth go blurry in the picture. Much to the dismay of the aliens who tuned in to the stream, the satellite backed further and further away so that you could no longer see the combatants at all. All you could see were the galaxies "Milky Way" and "Alpha Centauri."/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="9f3e8d1db4153454c844f13bf9c77fe3""Why are you doing that? We can't see the action!" one particularly grumpy alien shouted at his TV, throwing an energy drink at it with his suction cup fingers./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="4ca86bf4d1850d369800384e0d26a18f"The objections soon halted as a yellow beam of light erupted from one of the arms of the Milky Way, and crossing through its neighboring spiral. When the light faded, you could see that the stars in the path of the beam had gone out, leaving Alpha Centauri 25% dimmer. Optimus's gun blast eradicated the target, and all life in the same vector as his blast./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="d9d8930432cf160223d69f3c6deb4868"It took millennia, but the planet Cybertron and the large cloud of dirt-and-Unicron-crumbs eventually succumbed to the natural forces of gravity. The two planets merged in the natural planet shape: a flat disk. The planet was called "The Autobot Zone." Optimus permanently transformed into his city mode, and new life started to spring up. Mostly from his chrome-plated exhausts. Sam married 40 female pretenders, and there was much rejoicing./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="5ff5aa8e4b38795e1f91e1efa2097155"span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;"Appendix:/span/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 30px 0px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; text-align: center; position: relative;" data-p-id="061fdf895dddc93ccee9bff8a9e531b6" data-media-type="image" data-image-layout="one-horizontal" /p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 30px 0px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; text-align: center; position: relative;" data-p-id="4ae30395bbb190c39d4ec7b4255cece7" data-media-type="image" data-image-layout="one-horizontal" /p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="79a580369b496d81256ce5aa2042187c"Pictured Above: Sam takes his favorite Pretender wife to see Optimus Prime's stage play: em style="box-sizing: border-box;"A Tale of One City./em/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" /p