Old footage of Camp Wawanakwa and Total Drama Island play over voice narration from Chris McLean. "Last season on Total Drama: After Owen won the one hundred thousand dollar prize, I gave him a mega-sized deal! He could get one million dollars instead by finding a briefcase we hid on Wawanakwa and bringing it back to the Dock of Shame before any of his fellow campers. Needless to say, he took it, and thus the race for the case began! During which, Harold and Heather formed a new bond, Courtney left Duncan with a twisted ankle for a better chance at the money, and sixteen competitors who were closest to the prize found themselves in the swampy waters of Muskoka after a shark ate the case. Yowch!"
The feed cuts to Chris, sitting in a private room with monitors and a table with chairs in the background where Chef fills out a crossword puzzle and sips a cup of coffee. "Those campers have been selected to join season two, which is what you are watching right now! They're being driven to an old, abandoned film lot as we speak, where they'll battle it out for another shot at the million. Personally? I'm rooting for Lindsay. She's quite the looker. Eh? Eh?" He swivels his chair around to catch Chef's reaction. The cook shakes his head at him. "Fine, be that way, Mr. Engagement Ring-pop." He turns back to face the camera.
"Who will win? Who will lose? And do any of them know that the entire viewing world knew exactly what they were up to over the weekend courtesy of a few nosy producers? I sure hope so! Lies, love, friendship and betrayal are all in store for these teens, and you won't wanna miss a second of it, right here, right now, on:
Total!
Drama!
Action!"
A clapper overlaying the camera snaps shut.
The catchy theme song from last season makes a return, playing over a new intro sequence.
The first shot depicts a bag of popcorn on the floor being eaten by a raccoon, followed by a close-up of a camera perched up in a bird's nest over a stagelight, and lastly Chef Hatchet trying on a beautiful, see-through pink dress in a velvet room, just before he realizes he's being filmed and Chris appears, slamming a clacker down that forces the camera to fall down into a pool of water.
Dear Mom and Dad, I'm doing fine.
You guys are on my mind.
Harold, in his street clothes balancing on a surfboard, dodges seagulls being fired at him through a baseball launcher, one of which hitting him in the nose and causing him to fall into the pool below.
You asked me what I wanted to be
And now I think the answer is plain to see.
Duncan laughs, revealing himself as the one who was firing the shots. To his right, Tyler jumps to regain control of the gun, only for Duncan to use it on him, causing him to run out the door as the delinquent continues to laugh.
I wanna be famous.
We zoom out of that set to the beach, where Beth is suntanning with Cody, the latter reading a doujin with a lewd anime girl on the cover while Beth has her hands behind her head and a pair of sunglasses over her eyes, her braceless teeth shining.
I wanna be close to the sun
So pack your bags 'cause I already won.
We pan toward two pillars, featuring Heather and LeShawna standing on one each, battling each other with foam batons. They each get some decent hits in, but LeShawna is able to get a better one that knocks Heather's wig off of her head, revealing her baldness.
Everything to prove nothing in my way
I'll get there one day.
The brunette wig falls into a pot of food on a stove, which DJ peppers with a pink shaker, a heart as the label. He grabs a spoon and takes a sip of the broth, which he finds delicious.
'Cause I wanna be famous.
Lindsay, nervous as she watches the monitors, clicks a button that detonates a bomb, destroying a random building with Owen and Izzy inside, the couple still making out on a couch despite the blast around them. This appears to be an accident, if her terrified face of regret is anything to go off.
Na-na-na-na-na-na!
Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na!
Justin walks in front of Owen and Izzy, posing, showing off his muscles and kissing the camera before Izzy jumps on his back and bites his neck, scaring him into running away with her still on his back. Owen chases after them, right in front of a limousine.
I wanna be, I wanna be
I wanna be famous!
The limousine passenger seat opens, revealing Trent and Gwen. Trent stares at Gwen romantically, his arm wrapped around her shoulder, while Gwen forces a smile his way, hugging herself awkwardly. Trent motions his hand, and the camera follows the new pathway he's created.
I wanna be, I wanna be
I wanna be famous!
The camera soars past paparazzi into a talk show set, where the peanut gallery as well as the contestants from this season, whistle the instrumentals of the theme song while Geoff and Bridgette prepare to lock lips, only to realize they're being filmed and stop before their lips can meet, a blush on both of their faces.
Total Drama Action: The Creeps Cut
Written by voicefromunderthecovers
A trashy, green, paint chipped bus that exudes toxic carbon monoxide into the atmosphere stops in front of the abandoned Waning Bros. Film Lot, the corporate gold company logo on the locked fence. The sliding door opens, and out steps the first contestant: Duncan.
He takes a deep breath in as he sets foot on the road. "Man, do I miss the smell of the city."
He walks out of shot, paving the way for LeShawna to come out behind him. "Ha, you're telling me. That island constantly reeked of animal droppings and paint thinner." She walks off the bus steps and joins Duncan, her leopard print luggage dragging behind her feet.
Justin steps off with a glint in his perfect eyes. "Yeah, but you can't deny, the view was to die for." He pulls his arm upward, his biceps bulging. LeShawna swoons over him, leaning forward with her eyes half-closed. Justin looks down, feeling a tight, warm knot around his ankles. It's Beth, clinging to him. "Aha.. hey, Beth. Whatcha doing down there."
"Worshiping the ground you walk on..?" Beth answers.
Justin laughs. "Aha.. cool. Can I get my legs back please?"
"O-oh, of course! Sorry." Beth stands up, bashfully swinging her arms back and forth.
"Thank you." He replies, walking away from her casually. Beth fans herself.
Harold walks off the bus while solving a rubix cube, completely invested in the task. Behind him, Gwen and Heather try to get through the door at the same time. They scoff at each other. "Step off!" Heather barks.
"No, you step off!" Gwen shouts back. They both butt shoulders, growling at one another until DJ shoves both of them out the door.
"You guys gotta relax! We only just got here." The normally gentle giant commands. Heather stumbles into Harold, knocking him into LeShawna's luscious backside. He falls to the floor on his rear.
"Ow! Sorry, LeShawna."
"No harm done." She replies, smiling down at him. He picks himself up, dusts himself off and searches the ground for his rubix cube, only to find pieces scattered around his feet.
"Dang! Guess I'll just have to make a new one."
"Dork." Duncan coughs into his fist.
Trent gets out next, giving Gwen his arm. "Hey, need a hand?"
She smiles at him and takes his hand, standing up. "Thanks, babe."
"Anytime." Trent replies, continuing to hold her hand despite no longer needing to. They stare into each other's eyes until Geoff and Bridgette step off the bus together.
"Alright, a film lot! This is way more exciting than that crappy island. Maybe they'll have a jacuzzi, huh babe?" Bridgette nudges Geoff with her elbow, the surfer dude's eyes staring at Gwen as his mouth curves into a frown. Gwen's eyes go wide and she awkwardly waves at him. Trent looks confused. Bridgette raises an eyebrow while clearing her throat. "Babe?"
"Huh? You say something, Bridge?" Geoff questions, looking at her girlfriend..
Bridgette leans in to repeat herself. "I said-"
"The Code-meister is in the building!" Cody exclaims, shooting finger guns at everyone around him as he walks down the stairs and onto the street. Bridgette huffs.
"Anyway, like I was saying-"
"Now, I know what many of you have been thinking: 'Cody, the two timing cheater? We hate that guy!'"
"How did you know?" LeShawna sarcastically asks.
"Well, don't even worry about it. I had a chat with my bros, and I think I'm a new man now. I'm coming into this season hoping to change at least one life for the better." Cody explains.
"In that case, do you know how to fire a gun?" DJ dryly asks.
"Huh? Oh, uh, I know my way around a BB gun! Why?" Cody answers.
DJ sighs, slumping his upper body. "No reason. I guess."
"Aw, but Cody, you've already changed a life in a major way. You got me and Trent together." Gwen says, earning a blush from the little guy.
"You may be a low-down cheater.. But, you're trying to get better, and, well, I feel you there, dude. Right, hon? Haha." Trent raises his hand toward his girlfriend for a high-five. Gwen just stares at him. He drops his arm.
The sound of gasping comes from the bus. It's Lindsay! "Is this a real film lot? Oh my gosh, what are they filming right now? I hope it's the new episode of Gray's Anatomy, I LOVE that show!" She dashes out of the bus and stands before the gate.
"Uh, yeah, I hope so too!" Tyler adds as he carries Lindsay's bags for her.
Owen pops out of the bus with his jaw slacked open. "Sweet Charlie Sheen! We're gonna be in a movie?"
Izzy hops on his back, her legs entangled around his neck. "My dream come true! I only hope the casting process is safe for work, eh, Big-O!?" Her freaky hands dig into his puffy cheeks.
"Ehehehehehe, I don't understand…" Owen's speech slurs as he walks off the bus, the door closing before it peels off, leaving a dust cloud to engulf the contestants and make them cough their lungs out. When the dust clears, no host or hostess appears to greet them.
"Where's Chris? I'd even take that budget cook of his." Heather questions impatiently.
"You wanna see them this early? Seriously?" Justin questions.
"I didn't come here to socialize or take a break from school. I came here to win a million dollars." Heather explains, jabbing Justin with her nail in his chest. He takes a step back, scoffing at her.
"Then stick around. You'll need to if you want a year's worth of hair weave, patches." LeShawna taunts, a smirk on her face.
Heather sighs, folding her arms over her chest. "I guess I can wait for a bit…"
"Face it, the money's the reason we all tolerate Chris!" Beth says, her perfectly aligned teeth on full display.
"Beth, you got your braces off! Right on." Trent acknowledges, pointing at her while nodding.
She smiles even wider, giggling. "Thanks for noticing, Trent!"
Everyone else takes a gander. "Woah, she looks like a completely different person." Tyler gawks.
"Girl, you look fiiine!" LeShawna compliments.
"Oh my gosh, you're even cuter than before! This calls for a selfie!" Lindsay drags Beth under her arm and poses her under her phone, striking a peace sign next to her head as the two smile for the camera's flash. Justin leans in as Lindsay walks away to post the pic.
"Hot as ever~" He stares into her teeth as if they're a mirror, licking his finger before wiping his eyebrow.
"T-thank you, Justin! I should tell you guys the story of how I met my kind-of boyfriend while we wait!" Beth exclaims.
"What do you mean by 'kind-of' boyfriend?" Bridgette asks.
"Yeah, you either have one or you don't." Duncan adds.
"Shh! I wanna hear!" Lindsay shushes, sitting crisscross applesauce as if she's a kindergartner.
"Well, this is what he looks like, first of all." Beth pulls a headshot out of her back pocket, showing off Brady's studly hot face to everyone. Heather laughs.
"Come on, Beth, you don't think we're that stupid, do you?"
Beth puts her hands on her hips, furrowing her eyebrows at her former alliance-mate. "What?"
"That guys a total sham." Justin points out.
"How can you tell?" Beth asks, looking down at his photo with concern.
"Because I'm… a professional male model~" Justin smiles at the camera, his teeth shining in the sunlight.
A flustered Beth continues to fan herself as sweat beads down her forehead. "Okay, so… maybe he's not a professional like you.. But he's still a model! I mean, look at him!"
"And how did you two meet, exactly?" LeShawna questions.
"Ooh, ooh, in Narnia? Lochness? At the end of a double rainbow at the fountain of youth?!" Izzy teases, getting up in Beth's face.
Beth pulls away. "No! We met in-between TV seasons at the orthodontists."
"Wasn't that only… two days ago?" Lindsay asks after thinking for much too long.
"Good job, Lindsay, you remembered!" Tyler congratulates, rubbing her back. She claps for herself.
"Yeah, but it was attraction at first sight. His mom was being really annoying about us being together, though, so we ended up putting the relationship on hold until I win the competition."
"Until you win? Or if you win?" Gwen questions.
"Uh… Hey, look, Chris is here!" Beth points at the host, driving a golf cart that pulls a wagon of other carts behind him like a tour bus. He honks his horn obnoxiously.
"Heyyyy, campers! Hop on in! And hurry up, this cart is rented by the hour." Chris greets, waving at them. They walk up to the passenger seats and pile in. Each cart has four seats all next to each other. Gwen and Trent sit together, and Bridgette drags Geoff toward them, waving at the couple.
"Hey, Gwen, can we-"
Gwen hurls her duffle onto the two free seats. Bridgette, shocked, looks down at her, A nervous Geoff sighs with relief. Gwen smiles nervously, trying to find an excuse. "Uh-... W-we're saving this spot for, uh.. Cody and LeShawna!"
"We were?" Trent questions, only for Gwen to step on his foot. "Ow! I mean, I guess we were."
Cody gasps, spinning his head around before dashing up to Gwen. "Wait, really? You were saving a seat for me, Gwen?"
Gwen pulls her bag off. "Yup! Sorry, Bridge. Let's sit together at lunch later!" Her forced smile is evident on her face.
Bridgette gives Gwen a hard stare down while a confused LeShawna and an ecstatic Cody pile in next to the goth. "...Sure." Bridgette takes Geoff's hand and walks over to DJ and Duncan, sitting next to them instead.
"Woo.." Geoff sighs.
"What was that about?" Bridgette questions, taking Geoff by surprise.
He winces, but leans down and whispers in her ear anyways. "I'll explain later, I promise. Just not now, okay?"
His hands collect hers, his eyes pitiful. Bridgette nods, whispering back. "Fine."
Chris begins driving away. Owen, at the back of the carts, looks at both of the seats next to him, realizing Izzy isn't with him. He turns around and spots her standing back at the gate, her hands behind her back as she whistles to herself. "Izzy, run!" He yells. She ignores him. He facepalms, smiling amusedly. "I mean Kaleidoscope!"
That seems to get her attention. "Nobody leaves E-Scope behind! Ahhhhhahahaha!" With all the enthusiasm of an Olympic gold medalist, Izzy does a triple jump into the cart, sitting down next to Owen. The cart drives into the studio's entrance, slowly. Chris turns back to his cast with that signature grin of his.
"Welcome to the set of Total Drama Action! This season will be shot here, at the abandoned Waning Bros. Film Lot."
"Wait a minute, this is a Waning Bros. Site?" Cody asks excitedly. "Oh man! There must be so much cool stuff here!"
"Ooh, ooh, do you think we'll be able to take some cell shots home? I'm partial to Ruggedy the Ravaging, Pillaging Porcupine myself." Harold states.
Lindsay gasps. "Does this mean we're gonna be in the movies? I always wanted to be on the big screen!"
Chris adjusts his rear view mirror to get Lindsay in the center. "No.. it means you're gonna be on TV. But, the challenges of this season will be based on movie genres! " They drive through a wild west set as he speaks.
"This is the coolest idea you've ever had, Chris. Seriously!" Cody exclaims.
"Thank you, Cody. Glad somebody here appreciates my vision. Chef isn't too thrilled.. Anywho, you'll be spending the next eight weeks here competing for that sweet mil that Owen shamelessly lost to a hungry shark last season." Chris continues.
"Hey, it wasn't only me! DJ, Tyler and Cody were attached to me at the time, thank you very much." Owen defends himself.
Tyler raises his hand. "My bad, bro. I'll take the fall on that. Like a real MVP."
Lindsay scratches her temple. "What does that mean?"
The host cuts Tyler off before he can answer. "It means… that in order to salvage that money, you'll need to compete in challenges, survive till the merge and last longer than anybody else just like in the first season. Except this time, instead of taking a ride on the Boat of Losers to Playa Des Losers, the loser of the day will be going down the red carpet to the Lame-O-Suine, which will take them back home." Chris stops the cart behind the Lame-O-Suine in question, a busted up, ancient looking rust bucket of a limo that blows emissions out of its exhaust pipe like a chain smoker blows cigars. He rolls up his windows while the rest of the cast is attacked by the noxious fumes. Then he speeds off past it and rolls his windows back down, passing a trailer to their right.
"Now, since we no longer have the outhouse confessional, as that thing is a staple of Wawanakwa, you'll be airing your dirty laundry in our new make-up confessional!" He swings his arm to the left, showing it off.
(Confessional: Lindsay)
This confessional is leagues cleaner than the outhouse, with iconic character costumes, perfume, sprays and other make-up products in front of a table and chair where Lindsay sits. "Oh my gosh! A whole trailer full of make-up?" An intern off the side offers a tube of lip gloss. Lindsay puts her hand up and shakes her head. "Oh, aha, sorry I don't use that brand."
(Confessional: Duncan)
"Yeah, it's a little cushy, but it's a lot better than being surrounded by four splintery walls filled with maggots, dead flies and the occasional sewer rat. I do not miss Camp Wawanakwa, nuh-uh."
(Confessional: Tyler)
"Man, ever since that party yesterday, I feel like me and Lindsay are totally off the same wavelength. We used to be like this," he crosses his legs together as if he's some yoga god. "But now, she's like completely awkward around me. I dunno.. Did I really mess up that bad?"
(Confessional: Geoff)
"Man, I wish I could be all jazzed about not having to talk business in the potty, but I dunno.. I got too much on my mind. Like, way too much. You ever feel that way?" An intern offers a stress ball. He takes it. "Think I'll be keeping this."
(Confessional: Gwen)
"So… Geoff and Bridgette, eh? They're a cute couple.. Ahaha.. Things between me and Trent are good. I know a few things came out about our personal lives, but luckily none of my secrets- sorry, our secrets came to light. I just hope things can go back to normal soon, you know?"
(Confessional: Beth)
"Hi Mom, hi Dad! Hi Brady~" She waves seductively. "Look, it's nothing personal between me and Justin. But I'm a single lady. I can't keep myself limited to one hunky dreamboat if there are others pining after me. I promise, if he rejects me, we can be together forever."
(Confessional: Owen)
"Season two! Woohoo! Oh man, you guys, I'm so psyched! Between being back with all the guys again and the new setup, I have a strong feeling I can win twice in a row. Can you believe that? Me winning AGAIN? Woohoo!"
(Confessional end)
Chris continues to drive, this time past a space movie set, a prison set and a train set. The contestants ooh and ahh at the sights, while Chris looks back at them to continue his explanation. "Now, I'm sure you're all very curious about how your schooling will be handled, since you're off campus and don't have any access to your classwork." Crickets. Everybody looks away avoidantly.
"Um, no, we're not, actually." Heather replies.
"Great, I knew you were! Don't worry, we're legally obligated to keep you good and educated. So, after this challenge is over and you go to your cabins, you'll find massive textbooks with all of your class curriculums, which you'll be expected to fill out by the end of the season." A series of groans reply. Chris can't help but chuckle. "Oh, and if you're eliminated, you gotta go back to school!"
Even more protest responds to that information.
(Confessional: Harold)
"Well that's a relief!"
(Confessional: Heather)
"Ugh, great. The only part of this game I was looking forward to aside from pulling LeShawna's disgusting weave and winning the million was avoiding school. Thanks, Chris, for having our 'best interest at heart', you fucking dick."
(Confessional end)
Chris parks in front of a lavish stadium with bleachers sat in front of it and two giant, golden statues of himself standing tall between the stage. A singular podium stands in the center. "IF you can survive your homework, you'll be attending a Gilded Chris Awards Ceremony, where all but one loser will be given a truly perfect Golden Chris Statuette." He sniffles, wiping a tear from his face. "Sorry, sorry, it's just so… beautiful."
(Confessional: Gwen)
"A 'gilded Chris award'? Hahahaha! What a narcissist!... don't get me wrong, I still want one."
(Confessional end)
"So… no marshmallows this season?" Owen asks.
"Nope! But the statues are made of chocolate wrapped in tinfoil." Chris explains.
"That's even better…" Owen drools.
"Ooh, now I really, really want one!" Izzy yells.
The carts follow Chris' until they reach a city-scape. Lindsay takes a picture with her phone, while DJ leans his arm out the side of the cart, unamused.
(Confessional: DJ)
"Look, I wanna win the million, and I do have to give props to the producers for such an ambitious idea for a season, but I'm just dreading the moment me and Chef lock eyes. I feel like he's watching me as we speak."
(Confessional end)
"Wow, is this a dream?" Harold questions.
"No, Harold, it is not. But soon enough, you may wish that it was."
Stomp.
Stomp.
STOMP!
The cast reel their heads to the west, where the sound of colossal footsteps shakes them like a mild earthquake.
"What on earth is that?" LeShawna demands.
"A few months ago, a big budget monster movie called Monster Cash was filmed here." Chris explains.
Cody snaps his fingers. "Oh hey, I reviewed that movie on my channel. Gave it a solid six. Decent kaiju, amazing practical effects, but the main characters were pretty flat."
"Kinda like how you lot will be if you don't high tail it out of here." Chris states humorously.
"What do you mean by that?" Gwen questions.
STOMP!
STOMP!
"A giant animatronic monster is stomping his way here as we speak, controlled by none other than Chef Hatchet." Chris explains.
The monster's foot suddenly descends down the road a good distance behind them. Everyone gasps, the monster's enormous height, green skin and frog-esque qualities shocking them. Cody can't help but film it. "Your first challenge of the season is to somehow expose the monster's weak spot and deactivate him. Failure to do so will result in you being captured and put into the monster's bouncy dungeon, where you will be eliminated from attaining today's reward."
"And that reward is?" Justin asks.
"The choice of which trailer your gender will be housed in for the rest of the season. Trust me, unlike last season, one trailer is WAY better than the other. But, I fear we don't have any more time to discuss. I bid you all adieu, and good luck on your efforts!" Chris yanks a lever that ejects the seats behind him, the contestants flying out of the wagon and onto the street below. Bridgette stands up and runs after the cart as he drives away.
"WAIT! WHAT ABOUT OUR TEAMS?!"
"There are no teams!" Chris responds, peeling away.
Everybody gasps. The giant monster begins running toward the cast like a dinosaur with a steak dangling in front of its nose. Everybody begins running away, all scattered and panicked. Everyone except for Cody, who keeps videoing. "This is one of the greatest things I have ever seen…"
"ROAR!" The animatronic screams, leering down at him. Cody realizes his position, screams for his life and sprints away, barely avoiding getting captured as Chef leans down to catch him.
Duncan and DJ run for the hills together, sticking to the sidewalk. Both of them constantly look behind their shoulders as they heave for air. "D-do you still hear him?" DJ questions, not stopping for a second.
STOMP!
"He's not behind us, but he's close enough! Don't stop running!" Duncan replies, following his own advice as he runs behind DJ. The two are stopped when two hands reach out from an alleyway and yank them into it, causing them to scream in horror, bracing themselves for pain.
"Guys! It's just us." Bridgette shouts in their faces. The two of them open their eyes, relieved to see Geoff and Bridgette standing before them. Duncan sighs, wiping sweat from his brow.
"Thank god… the longer I can avoid being seen by or talked to by Chef, the better." DJ says, holding himself as he shivers.
"Do you guys have a gameplan at all for taking down this thing?" Duncan asks.
Geoff scratches the back of his neck awkwardly. "We were kinda hoping you guys did."
DJ pokes his finger tips together to think of an excuse. "Uh… I-I'm not much of a fighter!"
"And I'm more of a runner than anything. I don't even know where that things weak spot is." Duncan adds, pointing his thumb over his shoulder.
"Well that's what we need to find out then. Duncan, DJ, you two are on scouting duty. Do whatever you can to find out where that things weak spot is. Geoff and I are going to search for something to hit it with." Bridgette whispers, taking position as leader.
"We have to go back out there?" DJ questions, pointing at the street.
"Yes. Don't you wanna win?" Bridgette replies.
"Well, even if we all win, only all the guys can take home the gold or all the girls. Why would you wanna work with us?" Duncan asks, his eyebrow raised in suspicion.
Bridgette sighs. "Because the alternative is losing. And because you guys are my friends, duh."
DJ smiles. "Aww.."
Duncan rolls his eyes. "Barf."
"So? Are you two with us or not?" Bridgette asks, waiting for their answer. Duncan takes another peak outside the city, spotting the animatronic past the set near the beach, obstructed by most of the empty skyscrapers. He grits his teeth and returns to the group.
"Fine. Come on, DJ." The delinquent sneaks out of the alley.
"Okay, okay.. You two should stay right here until we get back so we know where to go." DJ says.
"Roger that." Geoff gives the two a double thumbs up as they run out into the danger. He leans back against the wall and tips his hat over his eyes, folding his arms over his chest.
"So…" Bridgette starts.
"Huh? Yeah?" He pulls his hat back up.
"Now might be a good time to tell me what's up with you."
Geoff shifts his eyes to and fro. "Uh… I think right now's a better time to discuss the reward. 'Cause obviously, uh.. Duncan and DJ aren't gonna make it."
"You really think so?" Bridgette asks, concern in her voice.
"I know so, babe. Did you see Chef? And poor DJ. He's scared to death of him."
"I guess you're right. Maybe we should call them back?" She leans out of the alley, spotting the two walking down the sidewalk. There's still time.
"No, no." Geoff pulls her back in by the shoulders, leaning close toward her face. The intimacy of their position forces their eyes to lock. "I was thinking more like…" He leans in and whispers into her ear. She nods, determined.
"Sounds like a plan! Let's roll." They high-five before running out of the alleyway, the opposite direction of their new alliance-mates.
(Confessional: Geoff)
"Now is definitely not the time to tell Bridgette about Gwen. It'd totally throw her off her game. I'll tell her when I'm ready… just not yet."
(Confessional end)
"Ah, ah.. Guys, wait.." Owen gasps for air, kneeling down to hold his knees for balance as Harold and Cody run through the beach ahead of him. "I said wait!" Owen yells louder, forcing the two to stop. They hurry towards him, skirting in place in the sand.
"What?" Cody asks, frustrated.
"Where's Izzy?" Owen questions, turning around. The monster is on his way toward them.
"The m-m-m-monster must have got her!" Harold guesses, panic in his eyes as he points at the beast.
"Yeah, she's probably already been eaten, dude. We gotta save ourselves, and get that superior trailer!" Cody yells, grabbing Owen's arm in an attempt to drag him away.
"No way! I'm not leaving her behind!" Owen stands his ground, ready to charge at the monster as it breaks sand under its feet, grinning ear to slimy ear with every step. Cody and Harold exchange a nervous look before running away. "Gimme back my… Izzy!"
"Relax, Big-O! I'm fine!" Izzy yells… somewhere. Her voice is disembodied. The monster looks to see if she's on his shoulder, but alas, she's missing completely. He looks confused, checking the other one next.
"E-Scope?" Owen questions, searching in confusion himself. "Where are you?"
The monster twitches, turning around. Izzy clings to his scaly back, punching and gnawing at a giant, painted target on his back. "I found the killer Godzilla guy's weak spot! But it won't.. Budge!"
"Izzy, how did you even get up there?!" Owen looks up at her, shocked.
"Me and the monster we're out on a date!" Izzy admits, continuing to bang on it's back as it tries to reach for her.
Owen's face falls. "What?"
"Yeah! I asked him out and he let me take a ride on his shoulder. Showed me his man-cave and everything! It was insane!" Two fingers grab Izzy and hook her into the monster's grasp by her waist. "Aw, rats!"
"B-but what about- WOah!" Owen gets scooped up with the monster's free hand. "AHHHHH! NO! I'm too fatty to be eaten! You'll suffer cardiac arrest! You'll gain ten pounds just by tasting me!" The party boy sobs, wrestling his way around the enclosed fingers of his captor. It doesn't take long for them to be dropped into the bouncy castle, where they bounce a few times before settling down. Izzy seems to enjoy it a lot more than Owen does, especially when she lands on his chest.
"Oops! Sorry, buddy! Your ribs are all still intact, yeah?"
"...Uh-huh…" Owen groans.
(Confessional: Owen)
"My ribs might be okay, but my heart certainly isn't. How do I compete with that giant monster? He's bigger, smellier, taller, and even scarier. I mean look at me, I'm so small!"
(Confessional: Izzy)
"Aww, Big-O's jealous..? Good. Maybe that will mean he'll pull his own weight in challenges later on to impress me. What? I carried him to victory last season. Okay? I deserve it as his lady."
(Confessional end)
Trent, Gwen, LeShawna and Justin all hide behind a parked car prop, watching the monster leave the bouncy dungeon while roaring its lungs out. Trent gasps, pointing at the target on the monster's back. "Check it out, must be the monster's weak spot."
"Good find, Trent!" Gwen praises.
"Seriously? It's a painted target on his back? How dumb does he think we are?" LeShawna questions.
Justin slaps his hands together. "Okay, here's the deal: I'm way too valuable and good looking to be bait for some monster. Trent, you serenade him, while LeShawna and Gwen hand me projectiles, and I'll get the win. Sounds good?"
Trent scoffs. "Uh, no way! First of all-"
"Shh… okay, Justin…" LeShawna and Gwen mutter in unison, both putting their fingers over Trent's lips. He rolls his eyes.
"How do you do that?"
"I was born perfect. Now go!" Justin demands, pointing at the street. Trent takes his guitar out of his bag and sighs, running out to the middle of the road before taking a stand on the center lane.
"Hey, big monster freak!" Trent yells. Chef slowly turns his way toward the guitarist.
STOMP, STOMP, STOMP.
Trent swallows nervously. "Soothe that violent soul of yours with a song." He strums his guitar, beginning to open his mouth to sing softly as Gwen and LeShawna search for things to throw.
"Giant freak
From outer space
Coming down to crush my face
Do what I can
I'm only a man
Gotta provide for my friends."
Gwen and LeShawna offer Justin a rock and a tennis ball respectively, but Gwen is completely taken out of her Justin-trance when she hears her boyfriend's voice. She leans over the trunk of an abandoned car and listens in as Justin runs around the back of the monster and lines up his awesome throw. The monster seems totally captured by Trent's singing, too.
"And ooooooooooh… please don't kill me, baby.
And ooooooooh… Make sure I don't die.
Something something.. Miss American pie.
Look me right in the eye.
You're my prize."
DUNG!
DING!
Justin chucks both objects, and neither of them go past the robot's shins. Chef growls, slowly turning around. Justin smiles and laughs, while the girls next to him look up in fear. "Hehe.. uh.. Wanna see my pecs?" The model throws his shirt off and flexes his body, muscular, soft and tan.. LeShawna can't stop fanning herself.
"Mm, it must be hot in here~"
The monster grabs the three, roaring in their faces. "What? It didn't work? How?" Justin questions, absolutely stunned.
From inside the suit, Chef answers. "I'm a taken man, now. I gotta look out for my fiance!"
Trent runs up behind the monster and chucks a rock that nearly hits his weak spot, but just undershoots. "Hey! You're gonna try and steal my girl, you're gonna have to go through me!" Chef looks down at the insignificant little punk and reaches down, pulling him into his arms. The others look at him expectantly. "Probably shoulda seen that one coming."
The monster drags them to the bouncy castle just like his prior victims and throws them into their imprisonment. After bouncing a few times, they all lay there, dazed, yet focused on one person in the middle: Justin.
"What are you all staring at?"
"You." Everyone but Trent replies.
"Oh, right."
(Confessional: Gwen)
"It was so sweet of Trent to give himself up like that. Maybe I should tell him what's going on… not yet! I-it's not the appropriate time, I mean, we just got here, we're all happy, why even talk about it at all, right? Hm…" She groans in disappointment, biting her bottom lip.
(Confessional end)
Lindsay, Beth and Tyler hide out in a diner set. Beth chews on gummy burgers, while Lindsay sits across from her in a booth and Tyler paces back and forth beside them. "Well? How is it?"
"Surprisingly well preserved. But it's candy, all candy is well preserved. I wasn't allowed to eat stuff like this while I had my braces on, so this is really nice!" Beth answers.
"I love that for you." Lindsay replies.
"What are we doing in here? We should be out there, chasing that monster, pummeling it to a blood pulp!" Tyler fists his open palm.
"Orrrr… we could stay in here and wait for it to come to us so we can figure out a surprise attack plan instead!" Beth smiles.
Tyler freezes, dumbfounded. "Uh… W-well, yeah, but we don't even know where his weak spot is. We should go collect data! Who's with me? Lindsay?"
Lindsay hums. "I dunno, Tyler, that sounds kind of dangerous. Plus, I just got these adorable leather boots, and I'd hate for them to get crushed by Chef." She gestures to her new black designer shoes, which look really big, yet super stylish.
"Besides, if the monster comes here, he'll probably show us his weak spot by accident. That is, if we can keep from getting spotted." Beth explains.
Ba-ding-ding!
The glass door swings open and in comes Heather, heavily breathing as she presses her back against the door. She composes herself when she realizes who else is inside with her. "Hey, guys! Oh my gosh, Lindsay, are those new leather boots?"
Lindsay gasps excitedly. "Oh my gosh, how did you know?"
"Lindsay!" Beth scolds.
"Oh. Right. Bye, Heather, this is our hiding spot, not yours." Lindsay turns away from her ex bestie, folding her arms over her chest. Heather glares at Beth, who in turn glares back. Then Tyler jumps between both of them.
"Take it easy, everyone! Don't you ladies wanna win the reward together anyhow?"
"...I suppose so." Heather replies.
"Yeah.." Beth agrees.
"So why don't we just bury the hatchet one time and work together? Four heads are better than three." Tyler proposes.
Beth and Heather continue their stare down for a few more seconds.. But eventually Heather offers her hand. Beth glares at it. "Can you be useful?"
"That depends on if you've seen Chef's weak spot." Heather answers.
The group gasps. "No, we haven't." Beth answers.
"Shake my hand and I'll tell you." Heather replies. Beth swallows her pride and shakes it.
"You better not make me regret this later." The geek grumbles.
"Trust me, I am not keen on sleeping in whatever hellhole the boys are gonna get. By the way, his weak spots on his back. Like, duh."
Lindsay runs up between them all and smashes them into a big hug. "Yay! It's just like old times, except now me and Beth are in charge!"
"Just you and Beth?" Tyler asks.
Heather rolls her eyes. "Whatever helps you sleep at night. So, what's our plan?"
Duncan and DJ crouch walk toward the back of the monster, hiding behind a prop bus together. DJ shivers, unable to look at the animatronic, while Duncan stares at its backside and hums to himself, his eyes staring at its tail until he sees the giant target painted on its back. He smacks his lips. "Well, found the weak spot. Let's go back to Geoff and Bridgette." When he turns around and sees DJ in the state he's in, he rolls his eyes and lifts his hand to smack him out of it, but stops.
"Okay, what?"
"Huh..?" DJ slowly opens his eyes.
"What gives? Why are you acting like such a baby?" Duncan questions.
"B-because there's a giant animatronic monster out there, dude! What do you mean why am I acting like a baby?" DJ whisper-yells.
"I've seen you braver. You never listed giant animatronics as a fear of yours back on the island. You conquered your water phobia and your snake phobia. So what gives?"
"I've been scared of other things before! Like that psycho killer." DJ argues, brushing his fingers together nervously.
"Eva was scared of that guy! That's a normal thing to be afraid of." Duncan retaliates.
"This is too!"
Duncan sighs. "DJ, do not make me say it."
"Say what?"
"I'm BEGGING YOU. Don't."
"There's nothing, Duncan! I-I promise!"
Duncan apprehensively pulls DJ in by the shoulders and stares into his eyes with all the pain in the world. "...You are my friend. You can tell me anything."
DJ blushes, a small smile creeping on his face as he looks away. Duncan blushes too, folding his arms as he stares at the car door next to him. "...Alright. I'm afraid not of the monster, but of… Chef." He swallows fearfully. "I thought everyone already knew about him and Momma. It was all over the internet, and I screamed about it at the party."
"I didn't hear. Courtney had a vice grip on me all night on account of the fact that she's a bloodsucking parasite." Duncan replies.
"Yeah… he's marrying my mom and it's really grossing me out. Not only that, but it feels like he's intentionally worming into my life to screw with me somehow."
"...Yikes, that is bad."
"You're telling me. Hah.. Sorry about you and Courtney."
"Eh. It was inevitable. We're too different. And besides, what are ya gonna do?" He asks rhetorically, shrugging.
"...I'm gonna face my fears, that's what I'm gonna do." Duncan watches as DJ stands up determinately, takes a deep breath in and turns toward the monster, only to see it's been watching them talk the whole time. He immediately passes out. Duncan watches him fall to the floor in shock before facepalming.
"Can't fault a man for trying." He says with a shrug before running away. Chef tries to pinch him between his fingers, but barely misses. He leans down and collects DJ, bringing him back to the bouncy dungeon.
Cody and Harold run through the stairs of a motel, discreetly keeping themselves low to the floor. "I think it's just up here! Has to be!"
"Are you sure? I didn't see any canons." Harold questions.
"Trust me, Harold, my eyesight's 20/20. Unfortunately, everything else in my life is maybe a 5/20, hehe." Cody giggles awkwardly.
"It's your own fault for cheating, Cody. I could never do that to my ladies." Harold replies, his knuckles on his sides.
As they stand up to scale more of the motel, Cody winces. "Uh.. sure. Look, I know what I did was shitty. I wouldn't have tried that in a million years. But you know what it's like. The fame gets to your head, all of your fans are really attractive, and the worst part is you've been touch starved and sexually neglected all your life before this moment. When it all comes to you suddenly like that? You get weak, man."
"That's really still no excuse. But since you're cool, I'll forgive you." Harold replies dryly.
"Wow. That's really nice of you, Harold." Cody says with a smile.
Harold shrugs. "It's not like I knew Kimberly like I know the other girls here. I still think you can redeem yourself."
Cody begins climbing a ladder to the roof. "Well… thanks for having hope for me."
Harold follows underneath him. "Don't mention it."
Upon climbing on top of the roof, low and behold, two cannons greet them. "Well whaddya know?"
"Ooh… They're not very historically accurate, but they should work just fine." Harold runs up to the cannons with Cody. "Now what?"
"Now we wait for the monster." Cody squints, smirking confidently.
Outside of the diner, Tyler, Beth, Lindsay and Heather search around the block they're on for anything useful. Tyler throws a piece of cardboard out of the way and reveals a javelin. He picks it up with a gasp of excitement and holds it over his head. "I'm an athlete! I can pole-vault this!"
"Ooh, go Tyler, go!" Lindsay claps for her boyfriend.
STOMP
STOMP
STOMP!
Everyone but Tyler jumps at the earthquake-producing stomps of the robot getting closer and closer. The animatronic kaiju is still unaware of the group, his back completely facing them. Heather whispers, "There it is, Tyler! Now throw the stupid javelin, and-"
Tyler gets a running start away from Heather and shouts at the top of his lungs, "TO THE EXTREME!"
Heather goes wide-eyed before pinching her nose in embarrassment. "Why would you announce-?! Ugh…"
Chef turns around slowly as Tyler launches himself toward the target, which is a big problem. His strong, determined face turns into one of fear, a scream emitting from his throat. Chef catches Tyler, then roars as he runs toward Lindsay, Beth and Heather. The three girls hug each other and scream. It doesn't take long for them all to be gobbled up by the monster's hands and carried back to the dungeon. Tyler shamefully stays quiet.
"You are a fucking idiot." Heather insults.
"Hey! He tried!" Beth defends him. He looks down, feeling sorry for himself.
"And look where it got us! Ugh." Heather folds her arms and glares to the side. Lindsay touches Tyler's shoulder comfortingly.
"It's okay, Tyler. Maybe next time we can try someone else's idea. You're strong, so I'm sure you can pull whatever it is off."
Tyler sighs.
(Confessional: Tyler)
"I've always wanted to be a QB. A running man. A leader. How come nobody believes in me when it comes to that stuff? If I was put in the right scenario, I could totally make Lindsay proud, and catch a win… but I was, wasn't I? And I still failed." He sniffles, holding back tears.
(Confessional: Heather)
"As much as I want to leave these idiots behind forever, there's no telling when the next vote is. Whenever it is, I'm sure to be the first boot. I have to have strength in numbers if I wanna survive any longer than that, or get someone else to be even more hated than me. Too bad my influence means nothing nowadays."
(Confessional end)
Geoff and Bridgette stealthily sneak behind the motel, holding each other's hand. They slowly climb the same ladder Cody and Harold had just climbed ten minutes ago, following the sound of cannon fire and screaming. Geoff leans up, scanning the area. Cody and Harold fire their cannons at the Chef kaiju as Duncan runs away from it, screaming his head off. "What do you see?" Bridgette asks.
"It's Cody and Harold! They're fighting the monster. I think he caught DJ, but I can see Duncan running away." Geoff replies.
"Crap.. what's the plan?" Bridgette slides down the ladder, with Geoff following her down to the floor.
"I say we get up there and throw Cody and Harold off to ensure we're the ones who deliver the finishing blow." Geoff grabs the ladder, but his other hand is caught by Bridgette.
"Woah, woah, take it easy. Patience is a virtue, babe." She smiles softly.
"Oh- uh, what do you suggest?" Geoff questions, blushing slightly.
"I say we wait for Cody and Harold to mess this up somehow and THEN take over the cannons." Bridgette explains.
"What makes you think they'll screw it up?" He asks.
"Geoff, it's Harold and Cody. I think you and I are a lot more capable than them." She runs a hand over his arm, leaning into him.
They overhear Cody and Harold yelling. "He won't turn around! I can't get a good angle!" Harold shouts.
"Me neither! Come on, Chef!" Cody adds.
"Duncan's probably doing it on purpose so I don't win." Harold claims.
"Why would he do that?" Cody questions.
"'Cause he sucks, gosh!" Harold stomps his foot in frustration, firing at Chef's face. He growls, stomping so hard that the ground bounces everybody on it off of it. Duncan gets caught by his underwear, a wedgie so strong impacting him that he sheds a single tear.
(Confessional: Duncan)
"I apologize to uh, everyone I've ever given a super-wedgie to. I know your pain now."
(Confessional end)
Geoff leans into Bridgette back, a guilty look in his face. He tilts up her chin and sighs. "Bridge.. I gotta tell you something-"
"Wait! Listen!"
The cannon fire stops, replaced by the screams of Cody and Harold, which get more and more distant the longer the blonde couple wait. Bridgette signals for Geoff to climb the ladder, and so he does. The two of them sneak on their hands and knees behind a chimney, peering from the corner to watch Chef walk away, completely unaware of their presence.
"Now's our chance!" Bridgette whispers. The two nod at each other before running at the cannons. Geoff gets on the right one, and Bridgette on the left. Geoff nods at Bridgette, and she nods back. At the same time, they yank the lever and out comes two giant, black balls of sheer power. They careen toward Chef, and before he can turn around with his body…
WHAM!
Chef's suit malfunctions, going limp with a zap that electrocutes Chef, Duncan, Harold and Cody. The circuits burn out and stop. Geoff and Bridgette cheer, hugging each other tightly. "We did it!" Geoff cheers. A helicopter descends piloted by an intern, while Chris hangs in the passenger seat and takes out his megaphone.
"Well done, Geoff and Bridgette! You two have won the challenge! Meet me at the bouncy dungeon in ten to claim your reward." Chris flies away, while Geoff and Bridgette release, heading down the motel.
"...Hello? Chris? Haha.. we'd like to come down now." Cody pleads.
In front of two identical looking white trailers on wheels, Chris stands. The rest of the cast, now outside the deflated bouncy dungeon behind Geoff and Bridgette, listen to him. "Now, because Geoff AND Bridgette won, only one of them can claim the reward. How do you wanna do this, rock, paper, scissors or something?"
"Nah, it's cool. Bridge can win." Geoff says with a shrug.
"WHAT?!" Duncan barks, followed by the rest of the guys protesting. The girls cheer, jumping in the air while calling Bridgette's name. She smiles and waves at her girlfriends.
"Well, she's the one with the plan to hit Chef. Plus, she's like… totally the most deserving person on the island." He smiles earnestly, holding her hands.
"Aww.. so are you. But I'll take it. What are the differences exactly, Chris?" Bridgette asks.
"In trailer one," Chris gestures towards the one on the left. "You'll be given access to the Waning Bros. WIFI, there will be mirrors for everyone to see themselves in the morning before leaving their beds, fluffier pillows AND a washer/dryer combo!"
Owen shrugs. "Eh, I can live without that."
"And the second one?" Bridgette asks.
"It's about as good as your lodging on Camp Wawanakwa." Chris reveals with a grin.
"Great. Just great." Tyler mumbles.
"I thought you wanted us girls to win?" Beth replies.
"Uh.. yeah, but… nevermind." Tyler deflates himself, moping.
"I'll take number one." Bridgette decides. The girls all cheer as Chris goes to unlock the door. They drag their luggage inside. Chef unlocks the boys' door, the stench of mold leaking out already. The guys sadly shuffle into their cabin. Chef leers at DJ, who quickly runs past him into his cabin.
The mess hall is significantly less dusty than the wooden shack back on Wawanakwa. It's a tent, a craft services tent to be specific. The floor is grass, and two benches that sit sixteen rest across from each other. On the bench closer to the door sits Heather, Geoff, Bridgette, Duncan, Harold and LeShawna. On the other, Izzy, Justin, Tyler, Cody, Lindsay, Beth, Gwen and Trent.
(Confessional: Trent)
"When we went to sit down for dinner, I wanted to sit with Geoff and Bridgette to catch up, but Gwen told me it was a bad idea and then dragged me over to the other bench. Which is strange because all of Gwen's friends not named Cody were sitting at the other bench. Maybe 'cause Heather was sitting there? Either way, I should ask her about it."
(Confessional end)
The kitchen is located behind the bar where the contestants receive dinner. Most of them are already sitting down and tolerating the slimy bowl of 'rice and beans' mixed with some kind of mystery meat.
DJ stands in the back of the line, not too far away from Chef's window. LeShawna receives her bowl and scoffs at her server. "Wait, so we get the better trailer, but not the better food?"
"We don't got no better food." Chef answers.
"Ugh. No kidding." LeShawna leaves, sitting down next to Harold and Justin. Owen steps up next, turning to DJ.
"This is my favorite part of the day!"
"When are you not hungry, Owen?" DJ asks.
"Never." Owen immediately responds as the bowl of 'food' is shoved into his hands. He whistles as he walks away. DJ shifts uncomfortably before stepping toward the window, his eyes on his feet. Chef smirks, slowly sliding the bowl toward his step-son, his hands glued to the edges of it all the while. DJ tries to take it, but his hands won't budge. He slowly looks up at the cook.
"What do we say when we get something we don't deserve?" Chef asks.
"'Please divorce my mom'?" His voice is barely above a whisper.
"Not bad, DJ.. I had you pegged for a coward." Chef leans in, his husky garlic breath hitting DJ like mustard gas. "Are you a coward? Come on, speak up. Show everyone here who's really in charge of the Joseph's household."
DJ looks away, shivering. Chef shakes his head before leaning forward. "THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT!" He booms, causing DJ to run away with his food in his hands. Everyone turns to stare, but Chef averts their gaze by slamming the window shut. DJ sighs shakily before finding his place across from Geoff. The surfer dude offers a soft, sympathetic smile. "DJ! I need your help cleaning up the kitchen!" Chef's voice shouts.
DJ turns around nervously. "B-but I just-"
"That's an order. Son. " He peeks his head out from the flap, glaring daggers.
DJ tightens his fists, stands up and walks toward the kitchen door without another word.
"Poor DJ." LeShawna says with a shake of her head.
"Yeah.. nobody deserves that kinda fate." Geoff agrees, poking at his food.
"Hey, LeShawna. It feels like it's been eons since we last spoke." Harold greets next to her.
"Heyy, Harold. Yeah, aha, you uh weren't at the party." LeShawna replies, scratching the back of her neck awkwardly.
"That's technically not true, but I see your point." Harold grins mischievously.
(Confessional: Harold)
"Teehee… Nobody knows who bombed the house party last night. We totally got away with it."
(Confessional end)
"Look.. I do wanna apologize for how I avoided you these last few days. I just.. Needed some space for myself." LeShawna apologizes, avoidantly staring away from Harold.
"I completely understand. There's only so much cool I can take in a given week too." Harold confidently strikes a proud pose, his knuckles at his sides.
LeShawna laughs, shaking her head. "You're too much, baby cakes." Harold smiles back at her, their conversation continuing distantly.
From the other end of the table, Duncan gags as he tries his food, forcing himself to swallow it. Bridgette looks up at him. "So… Duncan."
He looks up at her with a twitch. "Hm?"
"Have you figured out what's gonna happen between you and Courtney when you get off the show?" Bridgette questions.
"Well, firstly I don't plan on leaving anytime soon. Secondly, Courtney already made up her mind yesterday." Duncan replies.
"She called me this morning." The surfer reveals. Duncan looks surprised initially but quickly replaces his surprise with sarcasm.
"What, to complain some more?"
Bridgette thinks on her response. "..Pretty much. Though I'd call it venting."
"Don't bother spilling her secrets. We're two separate people now. Splitsville, you know? What are ya gonna do?"
"That's up to you, I suppose."
Duncan looks between Geoff and his girl. Geoff shrugs. "She told me to my face she doesn't want me anymore. I'm not gonna do anything."
"Suit yourself." Bridgette replies, ignoring his eyes. He glares at her before standing up.
"You know what? Screw this. I'm hitting the showers early." The delinquent stomps away, his hands tightened into fists.
"He'll come around eventually." Bridgette says, placing a hand on Geoff's leg as he watches his friend leave with concern.
"You really think so?" Geoff asks.
"I hope so. I think I'm actually gonna go call her now, since uh.. Yeah I don't think I'll be eating dinner." Bridgette pushes her food away and stands up.
"That's fair. I'm gonna wait for DJ to come out. Dude could use the comfort." Geoff tells Bridgette. She leans down and pecks him on the cheek before heading for the door flap.
"Dude could use a whole new last name at this point." LeShawna says.
"That actually might be a worse option.. Devon Hatchet sounds terrible." Harold argues.
On the other bench, Tyler depressively pokes at his beans, stuffing them into his mouth. Owen sits across from him, tapping his shin with his foot. Tyler looks up at him, exhaustion in his eyes. Lindsay chats away with Beth next to him. "Hey, buddy. Ya gonna finish your food?"
Owen's bowl is already completely devoured. Tyler shoves his bowl toward Owen. "Thanks!" The big boy starts filling his mouth with more rice and beans. The jock stands up and marches away. Lindsay turns back with concern in her eyes.
"Tyler? Are you okay? Where are you going?"
"I'm tired. That's all. Goodnight." Tyler replies, his voice barely above a whisper. Lindsay sadly turns back to Beth and sighs, twiddling her spoon through the rice mess in her bowl.
"I don't get it. What did I do wrong to make Tyler so sad?"
"Well, Lindsay, it might be the fact that Tyler feels emasculated from delivering a shotty first time with you. My dad was the exact same way with my mom. He has a narrow urethra, and he couldn't conceive with her until they were in their thirties. They started trying for a baby at twenty five. Plus, he finished quickly, or so I'm told. Just like Tyler." Beth explains, no shame in her face.
"My first time was something special." Justin muses.
"I'll bet…"
"Wow.. tell us more." Beth and Lindsay swoon, leaning over the table.
"Well, she was my agent at the time and we were both extremely young. She wasn't technically hirable as an adult since she was sixteen when I was fifteen, but it didn't matter much considering her rich daddy had connections all across the fashion industry. Anyways, I didn't pay with her money, and she kept coming back for more after the first round trip on the Justin. Had to dump her though, way too clingy." The model explains.
"I can vouch for him. Best sex I ever had!" E-Scope says, raising her hand. Owen gasps, dropping his spoon.
(Confessional: Owen)
"First a giant monster, now Justin?! I'm WAY outta my league. Then again…"
(Confessional end)
"Yeah, I'd probably rather screw Justin over Izzy too." Owen laments.
There's a short pause of silence as Justin winks at Owen and everyone else just stares at the odd couple before E-Scope questions, "Who's Izzy?"
It's night time now in the boys trailer. Tyler is already resting on a top bunk by the end of the room, his pajamas on his person as he distantly stares at the wall. Justin sits underneath it, trying and failing to text on his phone. Trent takes the bunk under Tyler, while Geoff and Trent take the next two, bunking in the same accommodations. Cody takes the bottom bunk of a bed, while Owen takes the top, which mildly concerns Cody. Justin takes a top bunk while Harold throws his bag up on a top bunk, but Duncan immediately throws it back down.
"Hey, what gives?" Harold challenges, furrowing his brows at his bully.
"Well, you're the one who riled my ex girlfriend enough to break up with me. That's what gives. And I take." Duncan throws his duffel on the top bunk. "Now she's filing a lawsuit against the show, and the stress was so bad on her that she took it ALL out on me. So yeah, I'm taking the top bunk."
"That's not fair! I did all that in retaliation. It was protest. You were bullying me even after I fixed your knife. Even Geoff and DJ had my back, but you kept poking me. Really, you deserved getting dumped." Duncan shoves Harold to the floor just in time for DJ to walk in and see it.
"Hey, woah, woah!" DJ runs up to the two, taking Duncan away from Harold in a full nelson. He tries to wrestle out of the gentle giant's grip momentarily, but simply flails while Harold is helped up by Cody and Trent.
"You always resort to violence this quick?" Trent accuses, glaring at Duncan along with Cody and Harold.
"You wanna find out, Elvis?" Duncan questions. Owen jumps down from his bunk and gets in-between them all.
"Guys, come on! It's the first day! We're guys! Remember? We get along! We help each other. We're not all cliquey and aggressive like the girls." Owen yells.
"Dude, that's sexist." Justin says.
"Uh… well, I love the girls but… just stop fighting, please!" Owen wails.
Duncan sighs, brushing himself off as DJ releases him. "Whatever. DJ can have the top bunk. Harold can sleep on the floor."
"I'm not doing that." Harold states.
"It's fine. Harold can take the top bunk. You both need to relax. I am not babysitting you assholes." DJ replies, his voice and demeanor far more abrasive than usual. Everyone goes silent, wide eyed and surprised at the combination of words falling out of the tall boy's mouth.
"Woah." Cody emotes.
Geoff twiddles with his fingers before leaning towards his best friend. "Uh.. DJ, wanna go for a walk, man?"
"Not particularly." DJ crosses his arms.
"Please." Geoff whispers, clasping his hands together desperately.
DJ sighs, rolling his eyes before nodding and walking out with Geoff. "...Okay. What's up?"
As they leave the trailer, Cody taps Harold's shoulder, offering him a handheld console. "Hey.. wanna play DS with me on my bed?"
"..That could be fun. What games do you have?" Harold grabs the console, looking down at his pint sized friend. Duncan leaps into bed and crashes out immediately. Owen does the same, but remains awake.
"Oh, it's jailbroken." Cody replies.
Harold's jaw drops. "For real?"
"Uh-huh. It's actually really easy to mod a 3DS." Cody says with a smirk.
"Okay, face me in Mario Kart then." Harold grins.
"You're on!" Cody replies, the two walking back to his bed.
Geoff and DJ walk together, Geoff with his hands in his pockets and DJ with his full attention on the party boy. "So Gwen kissed you? That is seriously messed up."
"You're telling me. I had no idea she was crushing on me! I don't even know what I should tell Bridgette." He shoves his hands in his face despairingly. "What do you think I should do, dude?"
"Well you gotta tell her. Otherwise, she'll find out some other way. And that's definitely no good." DJ answers.
"Yeah… I just don't know how."
DJ puts a hand on Geoff's shoulder. "Look, it doesn't matter how. First of all, you were practically assaulted. Did you consent to being kissed by Gwen?"
"I guess not." Geoff shrugs.
"Did you like it?"
"...I mean what kinda dude doesn't like being kissed?"
DJ rolls his eyes. "Ugh. Whatever. You clearly didn't actually like it, Geoff."
"Well yeah, 'cause it's messed up. I feel like I totally messed up Gwen's relationship with Trent. Dudes cool, you know?"
"Yeah… But it ain't your fault. That's all on Gwen. Now, I'm not getting in the middle of it, but if this shit with Momma has taught me anything, it's that these things are preventable. Even if they seem hopeless. Bridge is not gonna dump you, Geoff. She'll be pissed at Gwen, sure, but you two will be okay."
Geoff smiles wide at DJ before jumping into his arms, embracing him in a tight hug. "I love you, man. I'm so sorry I couldn't help you with your mom."
DJ, surprised, takes a second to reciprocate the hug. He slowly wraps his tree trunk arms around Geoff and holds him close. "Don't mention it. I'll be alright."
"You will?" Geoff questions, not understanding his insincerity.
DJ spaces out for a few seconds before pulling back. "...Just go tell her, man."
Geoff nods, shooting finger guns. "Tomorrow. I swear. It's just.. Late out, you know?"
DJ raises a brow. "Yeah. Okay. I understand."
Geoff chuckles humorlessly. "Thanks, again."
"Dude, come on."
"Let's go back to the trailer." Geoff says, already walking backwards, while DJ follows him with a humorous shake of his head.
Crickets creek outside as night falls and the stars settle in the sky. While one trailer is dark and filled with peaceful snoring, the other trailer is lit up and filled with the sound of a formerly raven haired girl bickering with her roommates.
"I need to sleep on the east side so my head will be closer to the ocean!" Heather yells, standing before all of the girls.
"That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. We're in Toronto, we're nowhere near the ocean!" LeShawna barks back.
Heather scoffs. "Then maybe I don't wanna lay my pretty head near this big butted, loud mouthed, mall shopping-"
"And maybe I don't wanna sleep near a two-faced, bossy little string bean of a prom queen!" LeShawna yells.
Bridgette whistles, catching everyone's attention. "Girls! Chris said we need to be on set by 6 AM. Do you really wanna lose another challenge on account of this petty argument?"
"Oh, I'm sorry, California Girl, are we interrupting your beauty sleep?" Heather taunts.
"Yes. Kinda. I have a win, and I intend on keeping that streak. Plus, who knows what kind of other rewards we'll get for the trailer - not just individually." Bridgette says.
"Bridgette's right. I ain't got time to be arguing with some bald headed ass baby all night long. I'm taking the top bunk, and that is that." LeShawna throws herself onto the top bunk. Heather growls, stomping her foot before leaving out the front.
"I can't believe these people!" She mutters to herself, slamming the door behind her.
"Where's she going?" Beth asks.
"Ooh, maybe to sleep outside like that mean bulldog who bit me back in fifth grade. Mom told me dogs naturally snore really loud, but I never heard a dog go BOOM in his sleep." Lindsay answers.
Beth's jaw falls to the floor. "That's horrible…"
(Confessional: Heather)
"Bridgette thinks she's so strong and so strategic. As if! She just got extra help from Geoffy and Duncan. I know because I did the exact same thing as her, and then crushed the following challenges all the way to the final three. Anyway, if I can't work an angle on Tyler the Tryout Failure, Lindsiot or Bag-Over-Her-Head Beth, I guess I'll just have to win this next challenge. How hard could it be?"
(Confessional end)
Gwen approaches Bridgette. "I overheard your call with Courtney. Everything good?"
Bridgette sighs. "She's going through a lot right now. She definitely wants nothing to do with Duncan. But hey, he's going through a hard time too. Even if he can be a real hard-ass about it."
Gwen nods. "I know what you mean. Hey, good job backing off the beast today."
Bridgette smiles at her. "Chef or Heather?"
Gwen and Bridgette laugh together, holding onto each other's shoulders. Gwen suddenly looks guilty and backs off, much to Bridgette's surprise. "You've been acting weird all day today. Everything okay?"
"Oh, I'm just… getting used to the film lot?" Gwen lies.
Bridgette eyes her, knowing it's a lie. "Uh-huh… Okay, I guess. Well, whenever you're ready to tell me, I'll be here. No rush." She walks toward her bunk, the one right under Gwen's, and sits down to get dressed for bed. Gwen says nothing, lowering her head in shame.
"Eeh, come on BFF! Let's go do each other's nails!" Lindsay squeaks. "That stands for Beth Friend Forever." Beth gasps.
"I'd love to!.. Um, LFF! Lindsay-est Friend Forever!" The two scream shrilly as they run toward their bunks.
Izzy jumps onto her top bunk, hanging off the edge like a bat. "Woo, look at me, I'm a top!" She yells before swiftly falling asleep in that very position.
Heather returns with a heavy sigh, noticing that there are still two beds left. "Wait… so I get two beds? All to myself?" The other girls follow her eyes to the bed in the corner and realize she's right. She runs up to it and throws her luggage on the top bunk "Yes, yes, yes! Ahahaha, suckers!"
"Yeah, we really should be working on our math skills. Isn't that what these are for?" Gwen pulls her textbook out from her pillowcase, flipping to a random page. She cringes, slamming it shut once again. "Screw that. I'll start the curriculum tomorrow."
Chris peaks from behind the girls trailer, holding a megaphone under his hips. "Shhh… they're sleeping." He brings the megaphone to his lips, an ear piercing ring already emitting from the speaker. "THIS IS YOUR 5 AM WAKE UP CALL!"
He's met with a series of groans from the two trailers. "I'm just kidding, you can sleep! For now.." They murmur their ways back to unconsciousness. Then Chris pulls out an airhorn and blasts it into the mic. Harold screams so loudly that he shakes the trailer, until somebody (probably Duncan) bonks him on the head.
"Ow! Sorry, I was having a night terror!" Harold yells in a hushed tone.
"Don't care. Go to bed." Duncan grumbles back.
Chris smiles at the camera, emerging from behind the trailer to stand between both of them. "That's a wrap on day one. How will Heather fair with a head full of rat hair? Will Geoff tell Bridgette what he and Gwen did last summer? Who will end up flunking out of high school because of this show? Find out all these thrilling answers and more on the next exciting episode of…
Total!
Drama!
Action!"
Mid Credits:
Two pairs of rich loafers clack against a tile floor. Two snooty looking, frail, graying suits, one male and one female, step into the set of a studio, a red wall behind a red couch that has recently been moved in by manual labor people, who are now walking off the set to finish something off stage. About fifty seats stand in front of the stage, all lavish and loft, exceptional compared to the state Camp Wawanakwa and the Film Lot are in.
The man is wearing a nametag that reads Thomas McGill. The woman is wearing a tag that says Jennifer Hagen.
"Hm. This will do. I'm liking the look of this more and more by the day." Thomas says, stroking his white mustache.
"Oh yes, absolutely. This show is huge, and it's about to be even bigger through this sister series." Jennifer agrees, rubbing her hands together devilishly.
"Let's say we have a money fight in the green room?" Thomas proposes.
"Indeed." The two elders dash in the back of the studio behind a curtain. A monitor hanging above the couch shows the two picking up stacks of money and hurling them at each other as if they're chucking snowballs.