November 13th, 1983
8.46 AM

"So…" Chris said, slamming shut Lorelai's locker door in front of her face. "Are you gonna ask me or not?"
"Ask you what? Your favorite pet?"
"Oh, come on!"
"Oh, you come on? I have no idea what you're talking about!"
"The dance, of course."
Chris nodded against a poster pinned to the cork bulletin board behind them. It announced the yearly Sadie Hawkins dance.
"Oh. I thought we didn't do school dances?"
"We usually don't. But I think this particular one could be fun since it's not formal, you can wear actual human clothes and listen to music that human ears actually appreciate. DJ Bux is gonna play."
"That sounds like it could actually potentially be fun. But it's tonight. Are there even tickets left?"
"There sure will be for a Hayden, my aunt Frieda is on the board."
"Well, too bad I'm not a Hayden."
"Yet. You're not a Hayden, yet."
He smiled. She rolled her eyes.
"You know very well you're gonna have to take my name. But okay, Mr. Gilmore, would you like to go to the Sadie Hawkins dance with me tonight?"
"I'd love to, Mrs. Hayden."

The first thing that happened when they entered the hall where the dance was held was that 'Gimmie Gimmie Gimme' started playing from the stereo system. Chris made a face.
"Uh, what is this?"
"I heard they call it disco music, Christopher."
"But the poster said DJ Bux was gonna play here tonight, he doesn't play disco."

They turned their heads to look at the DJ in the booth. The DJ was not a bearded nineteen year old, but a pretty girl, presumably a little older than them, nodding her head to the music.
"Well, Bux has less beard than last time I saw him," Chris said.
"Work your charm now. Go make her play something else."
Chris downed his last sip of the soda he'd been drinking and threw the can over his shoulder, smirking.
"Watch me."

He walked up to the DJ booth and casually leaned on the edge, resting his chin in his hand.
"Hey, hey girl."
"Oh, hi."
The DJ had turned to face him. Did she blush a little? Jeez, he was really too pretty for his own good, it should take a little more than a "hey" for the ladies to fall for him.
"I just wanted to say that I just love the tracks you're playing, especially those ABBA tunes! I really, really love ABBA."
He tilted his head and gave the DJ his best smile. Hey, easy. That smile was reserved for girlfriends, and girlfriends only.
"Thanks! Don't tell anyone but it's my first time playing, actually."
The DJ batted her eyelashes at him.
"What? No, you can't be serious!"
Chris clutched his hands against his chest and gasped.
Oh, take it a little further over the top, will you? He leaned in close to the DJ again.
"You know what. I was wondering if you might have something by AC/DC. Back in Black?"
"No, sorry, not my preferences at all."
"Someone with great taste like you? I don't believe that. Mind if I take a look?"
"Sure, go ahead. But only because you asked so nicely."
The DJ smiled a sweet smile at Chris. A stupid, sweet smile. He smiled back and jumped over the booth's edge and snagged her CD case.
"Wow, you've got a great collection here. Really, wow, wow. ABBA, Whitney, Paul McCartney…"
Please, stop it. Your ears would fall off if you were forced to listen to Benny Andersson for more than three seconds.
"Oh, look, I found it!"
He pulled out an AC/DC disc from the case. Had he hidden that up his sleeve? He stroked the DJ over the small of her back and put his hand on hers and together they slid the record in the player. Then he saluted her and jumped over the booth's edge and got back to Lorelai.
"Couldn't you have been a little more nice? I don't think the ones over at the bar heard you schmooze her."
Lorelai could feel her eyes narrowing.
"Just being friendly, Lore. Just being friendly."
Chris smirked and looked at her, wiggled his eyebrows.
"You'd be friendly to a rock if it had a good chest."

"Hey, would you like to go to a movie sometime?"
The DJ had snuck up behind them and gripped Chris' shoulder to turn him around, blatantly asking him out. But he just smiled and shook his head, nodding at Lorelai.
"No, thanks. I'm flattered but she's the only one who can handle me."
"You wouldn't wanna see what this one's capable of, really", Lorelai added, pulling his ear. "Enjoy ABBA."

Chris waved at the DJ and flung his arm around Lorelai. He kissed her forehead.
"You wanna dance?"
"Dance? You mean, like a proper waltz dance-dance?"
He shrugged.
"Nah, not that crap, just a slow song, I actually like this one. A slow dance is more like a hug."
He bowed playfully, extending his right hand to her. She took it and he pulled her in, embracing her, hugging her close. She rested her head against his shoulder and together they swayed slowly in the middle of the dance floor.

The best of times are when I'm alone with you
Some rain some shine
We'll make this a world for two
Our memories of yesterday will last a lifetime
We'll take the best, forget the rest
And someday we'll find these are the best of times
These are the best of times

Chris really smelled good, his scent was the most familiar to her. It was one of… sugar, tobacco, warmth, a little bit of sweat, and oranges. She took a deep breath, breathing him in, and looked up into his eyes. His pretty, stupid, blue eyes were sparkling, they were honest and sweet and caring and he lifted her chin to give her a little kiss.

"Criss Cross Hayden!"
A voice echoed over the dance floor and something abruptly pulled Chris back from Lorelai. The something turned out to be one of the identical twin brothers Lindbergh who were blond, tall, cheeky, freckled and widely known around Hartford. Actually, a year ago they became so well known for their various crazy stunts that their parents, after they accidentally had set the school cafeteria on fire, sent them off to boarding school.

Besides their pyromania, they were infamous for being real dickheads to girls. Lorelai had more than one friend who'd been offended one way or another by Eric and, or, August. After the Lindberghs left town, Chris and Charlie Oakely had kind of taken up to carry the torch of crazy, and unfortunately Chris was clearly impressed by the older twins. Uh, stupid boys and their stupid cockiness.

"Well, well, isn't it Chris Hayden. Nice to see you, man!"
Eric slapped Chris on the back.
"Eric! Augie! You're home! It's been ages."
Chris beamed, looking from one twin to another.
"How are you guys holding up at Northwood?"
"Well, none of us has been expelled yet, even though we're working on it. What about you? Still hanging out with Oakely?"
"Yeah, of course. Two weeks ago we snuck into the principal's office and replaced his trophy collection with rubber chickens."
"Not bad, Hayden, not bad."
Eric raised his hand in a high five, and Chris slapped it.
"What did you do with the trophies?" August asked.
"He hid them in his locker. They were too many, though, and one of them crushed his foot when it fell out," Lorelai said.
"Hello, there. Who is this pretty little thing?"
August leaned in over Lorelai. Ew, what was that smell? Pickles?
"This is my girlfriend."
Chris grinned proudly and put an arm around her.
"It's not a thing, it's a human. The human's name is Lorelai."
She glared at the twins.
"Nice catch, Hayden. Pretty and witty. Would you like something to drink, pretty little Lorelai?"
August pulled a flask from inside his jacket pocket.
"No, thank you. My pretty little mouth doesn't want to be near anything that's touched your equivalent."
"Oh, Come on, Lore, don't be like that."
"Like what? Not wanting to fraternize with people who are mostly known for grabbing butts?"
Chris rolled his eyes.
"They have done more memorable things. Don't you remember that time the school bell played 'Ride of the Valkyries' all day?"
"Yeah, guess who did that?" Eric said.
"You couldn't even leave Brunhild alone, could you?"
"Come on. These guys practically wrote the book on pranks."
"And you're looking to write the foreword to the next edition, I hear."

Lorelai turned on the spot and walked away. There were limits, and the Lindbergh brothers were one fat red line all together. She went to stand with some people that she knew a little from school, watching Eric hand Chris a bottle with some unidentifiable liquid that he, of course, immediately gulped down. She closed her eyes. It was gonna be a long night.

***

An hour later when she was still standing watching Chris with dumb and dumber, somebody knocked her on the shoulder.
"You in the market for a dime bag?"
Lorelai turned around, and there was a tall, lanky guy watching her. His presence apparently gave Chris something else besides impressing the Lindberghs to think about; as soon as he saw the lanky guy talking to Lorelai he came running from the other side of the room and protectively flung his arm around her shoulder. His eyes were kinda crossed.
"Who are you, man?"
Lorelai smiled angelic.
"Oh, this is actually my boyfriend, Brian."
"Huh?"
Chris looked perplexed, and so did Brian.
"Oh, I'm sorry. That was rude of me. Brian Hutchins: This is Christopher Hayden. Funny thing, he's also my boyfriend."
Lorelai took their hands and put them together, pulling them up and down in a hand shake. Then she turned to Brian:
"I can't recall you ending our relationship, can you?"
"Hey, chick, I don't know who you are, but I've got some great pot here, just fifteen dollars, wanna buy some?"
"No, thanks, mom said I shouldn't accept candy from strange men," Lorelai said, but Chris looked interested.
"If he's your boyfriend, he's not a stranger. Lore, come on? It could be fun?"
"Nah, come on, let's go home."
"No, I'm staying, Eric and Augie are never in town. I wanna hang out for a while."
"No, come on, please come home with me. Those guys are so not cool."
"They're too, I know they can come off as a little wild, but you never minded wild, did you? They're actually really nice."
"I think we have different opinions on what nice is."
"Okay, fine, whatever, but I'm gonna stay, they have more to drink, also."
"Okay, fine, whatever, but I'm gonna go. Enjoy your guys night."

***

Lorelai had walked all the way home. It had taken her over an hour, she was grumpy and a little lonely, stupid Chris, stupid blonde twins. She didn't really wanna admit that part of her was sad that Chris had chosen to stay with those complete idiots over taking her home.

She opened the door to her room, yawned and stretched, pulled off her t-shirt. She was grumpy, but at least Emily wouldn't be crazy in the morning for her getting home late, she'd even used the front door upon arrival. Usually she had to make a complicated maneuver to climb in the basement window and sneak upstairs via the stairs in the kitchen area. Lorelai pulled away the covers and went to bed. Chris was probably not gonna be in the best shape tomorrow. They had kind of planned to go to New York for the day, he wanted to go look for a new jacket. Leather, he said. Would probably suit him. But he might be too hung over to sit on a bus for several hours. Well, his loss. She yawned and put the lights out.

Just when she was about to fall asleep and forget all about this day there was a little sound on her window. Pick, pock. And again. Pick, pock. Okay, yeah, someone was definitely throwing pebbles on her window. Now, what. Couldn't a girl even get to sleep after a shitty dance? She got out of bed and opened the window, and there was Eric – or if it was August – standing beside a car. He waved a little and opened the back door of the car, and Chris fell out of it, landing on his head. Ouch. Great strategy to catch yourself with the fontanel.
"He wanted us to take him there, or, well, at least I think he wanted that, he just kept repeating this address."
"Okay, I'm coming down."

"He's in pretty poor shape", Eric or August said when she came out the front door. "I don't know what to do with him."
"Poor shape" was an understatement; Chris was nothing but a gurgling puddle on the ground. When Lorelai nudged him a little with her foot, he let out a weak little sound.
"What did you do to him? Space brownies?"
"Uh, dunno? He just drank a lot, I think."
Eric or August shrugged.

Okay, there weren't that many options. One: drag Chris inside and let him stay at her place, in her bed, and deal with the Emily and Richard aftermath. Two: take him home and somehow manage to get him into his house and bed, get back to her own house and let him deal with the Straub and Francine aftermath. Either way, there would be a parental firing squad tomorrow, and since he was the source of the problem it sounded reasonable that he took the worst hit. Option number two, it was.
"We'll have to get him home. Can you get Jeeves to drive us there?"

When the Lindbergh driver had taken them to the Hayden house and Lorelai had managed to drag the body formerly known as Chris from the driveway to the lawn, she laid him on the ground.
"Hey, hey. Where are your keys?"
She shook him a little. She went through his pockets, jacket first, then back pockets. No keys. She tried to elevate him a little from the ground, holding around his chest, jeez, he'd gotten heavy, been growing tall and tried to search his pockets.
"Hey, Chris, try and move a little will you?"
He shifted in her arms and… hurled all over her shoes. Oh, okay. Well, who needed a pair of privately imported Doc Martens anyways.
"There, there." She patted his back. "Okay, can you stay here while I try and get in your house?"
He nodded a little and curled up in a ball on the ground.

She went around to the backside of the house. Chris' bedroom was on the ground floor and he usually left his window a little open for nights like this, if he wanted to get in unannounced. Okay, let's just remove these not so cool anymore shoes and we should be able to get in. She pushed the window open and heaved herself onto the ledge, and landed on the floor with a little thud. Let's see… There was a bathroom on the first floor, just behind the dining room, she could probably get Chris in there. Hopefully, the dictator and his wife were fast asleep because she didn't even want to think about what the Mussolinis would do with an intruder and, or, their puke covered heir. Lorelai tiptoes out in the corridor and got to the front door. Thankfully, she'd seen Chris do this many times so she could easily deactivate the alarm.

The door slowly opened and she went out and collected what was left of Chris on the lawn. She managed to get him up on his feet and led him down the hallway to the bathroom.
"Uh – I'm, I'm, sorry, Lore, listen, I'm so sorry, I'm, uh, I'm –"
"Apologies will be accepted tomorrow at my office. Now, get in here."
He was not steady, very not steady. He could hardly stand, he swayed as she undressed him. If his t-shirt, jeans, socks and underwear would not have been covered in puke this could potentially have been a pretty hot thing to do. But, due to the mentioned body fluids, this experience would not be filed under 'hot moments with boyfriend'. She gave him a little push and he stepped forward, like a mechanical doll, into the shower. He leaned his shoulder against the wall and Lorelai reached over and turned the water on. It poured down over his head, wetting his eyelashes and that little chest hair he actually had.
"Shampoo. Now."
"I can't – can't –"
Uh, okay. She removed her t-shirt and reached for the shampoo bottle and started to clean him up.
"You're very lucky you are so pretty," she mumbled while washing puke off his legs.

After the shower and a couple of cokes Chris seemed to come back to life a little. Even though his eyes were still kinda crossed he didn't smell like puke anymore and he could form coherent sentences. He sat in bed, looking a little sheepish. Cute, but sheepish.
"Um, thanks, Lore." He looked down at his hands. "I'm sorry."
"I know. You're gonna owe me one. No, two: a favor and a pair of Doc's. Go to sleep now."
"No, I mean, besides that, I'm sorry about, um, the Eric and Augie thing. I shouldn't have stayed when you asked me to come home with you."
"No, you shouldn't have."
"I know. Sorry. You know I like you more than them, right?"
"Even though I don't set cafeterias on fire?"
"Well. You can set other things on fire."
He smirked and reached out for her, pulled her down beside him on the bed.
"Please, stay?" He pulled her closer. "Please, please, please, you've never stayed the night!"
He hugged her tight. She gave him a little kiss. Mint, not puke. That's good.
"Do you know what my dad would do the second he found out I spent the night in your bed?"
"No."
"Me neither, but one guess is that I'd be sent to an all girls catholic school where my new boyfriend would have to be Sister Christine."
"C'mere Sister Lorelai," Chris mumbled. "I don't care where you go tomorrow as long as I can keep you tonight."
He kissed her, uh, damn him and his great kisses. So soft and sweet and hot, hot, super hot and thinking about it, it wouldn't be so bad spending the rest of high school in a nunnery, would it? Lorelai lay down beside him, kissing him, gently stroking his hair. He hugged her close, hummed into her mouth, making little sounds of pleasure, breathing, humming, breathing, kissing, humming, breathing and approximately two seconds later, he passed out.

Okay, well, all for the best. She stroked his hair one last time and got out of his bed. It was late, time to climb out the window and go home. It was a pretty long walk though, it would be great to have a little something to enjoy on the way. She went over to Chris' wardrobe and started to go through the jeans in there, he always kept clove cigarettes in his back pocket. She scrambled through a few pairs and out of and out of the last ones fell, besides a pack of smokes, two concert tickets. She picked them up and they read: Pat Benatar at The Bottom Line, April 25th. Her heart swelled a little.

Lorelai turned around and watched Chris in bed, all splayed out, hair wet, eyes closed, a little smile on his lips. He looked so sweet, so blissful, and his hair was almost golden in the warm light from the nightstand lamp. All of a sudden, she knew that she loved him.