I've currently started working on rewriting Code Decade in order to get back into the swing of things, which is kind of necessary since all of my notes for that story were lost after the last posted chapter.

Zeo Requiem will be getting a few edits as well before I begin 'season 2' as it were, but other than that not many changes.

Again, this is simply something I've been working on to alleviate my boredom during lock-down and help get over my writer's block.

Hope you enjoy.

Chapter 1: July 16th part 1.

You ever have one of those days where just about everything that can go wrong, does? Let me elaborate, when I say 'wrong', I don't just mean the kind of day where you mismatch your socks or forget your keys or a bird shits on your newly washed car.

I'm talking about the days when you wake up hung-over on the wrong side of the bed, only to see your alarm didn't go off so you're late to work.

I'm talking about the days where, despite doing your best to beat the morning traffic, you wind up breaking down in the middle of rush-hour, incurring several tickets from the police for speeding, causing a hazard, having a faulty tail-light and not noticing your insurance expired the day before.

I'm talking about the days where, after finally stumbling into your shitty cubicle, unshaven, out of breath and sweating bullets because it's a week till payday and you don't have enough to pay all your newly acquired fines, you find out you weren't even supposed to be in today, but before you can leave your asshole boss decides to make you cover someone else's shift, without overtime.

In short, did you ever have one of those days when life didn't so much give you lemons, but rather bulldozed your house, planted Lemon Trees in its place and then had you arrested for trespassing? If so, you have my condolences. As someone who's been in that situation, (the Citrus Orchard, not the Unpaid Overtime), let me assure you that it sucks. Big Time.

However, if there's one thing I've learnt in life, it's that when life gives you lemons, there's usually multiple things you can do with them. While conformists tend to stick to lemonade, those with a little more creativity might prefer any number of citrus-confections.

And while more aggressive respondents might suggest tracking down whoever gave you said lemons and using them as fuel to burn their house down, there are always those who can see the funny side of it all, taking the lemons and making orange juice, just to sit back and watch people try to figure out how they did so.

What does all of this have to do with me? Well, let's just say I find myself in the precarious situation of not really having the illusion of choice with what to do with my unexpected gift of citrus, mainly because the analogy doesn't really measure up to my situation.

I won't bore you all with my backstory, as in all honesty the person I used to be is dead. I might retain their memories, for better or worse, but as they have little to no effect on my current state of existence, I won't bore you with the details of my first diaper change or the existential crisis that is being single on prom-night.

All you really need to know is that I was nobody special, just another brick in the wall that teachers tended to leave alone. I had no special talents to speak of, grew up in an average family, graduated from an average school, worked an average job, and shared my average hobbies with countless other people, some of them doubtlessly more or less talented than my humble self.

Hell, if it weren't for the whole Lemon Orchard scenario I'd say my life was uneventful, which really begs the question of how I earned the distinct honor of being the first human being to set foot on mars.

No, I shit you not, due to a truly bizarre series of events that began with a citrus orchard and culminated with my being at ground zero for the atmospheric re-entry of an asteroid formed by an auto-tuned, self-proclaimed [Ultimate Lifeform], I somehow found myself standing on the red planet several decades ahead of Space-ex's most generous calculations.

Well, I say 'standing' but in truth I was more or less hovering over the ground, partially due to the reduced gravity and partially because I technically no-longer possessed a body with which to stand, having been forced to leave what was left of mine back on earth in the bottom of a smoking crater.

You'd think I'd be a bit saltier regarding my untimely demise, but apparently Terry Pratchett was right when it came to the afterlife, since the most I felt was mild inconvenience if anything. It certainly helped that my unwitting murderer, who insisted I call him [Kaars], seemed genuinely apologetic for the whole affair and offered to bring me to someone who could help.

Said someone, as it turned out, happened to be himself, or rather, a gathering of 36 parallel versions of himself that had apparently taken up residence on the Red Planet so as to avoid inadvertently influencing human history.

Now I know what you're thinking, if the Kaars who unwittingly killed me couldn't humpty-dumpty me back together, then how were any of his 36 nigh-identical, Auto-Tune voiced copies supposed to help? The answer, as it turned out, lay not in the [Council of Kaars]' (I shit you not) personal abilities, but rather in those of the [Stands] they had managed to acquire.

What is a [Stand] you ask? In Layman's terms they're essentially psychic ghosts you control with your willpower to do cool shit or just beat the shit out of someone without them knowing it was you, since the only people who can see or interact with Stands are those who possess Stands themselves.

There's a lot more about them that I really don't want to get into, but a general rule of thumb when it comes to [STANDO POWAH!] is to never underestimate them, since more often than not their powers fall outside the realms of logic and balls-deep into the realms of [Absolute Bullshit].

Another basic tenant of Stands is that, again, barring extenuating circumstances, a person can only ever possess one at a time. Even if their Stand possessed multiple forms, or could detach a part of itself to use a unique ability, you could only ever have one active at any given moment.

Now I know what you're thinking, if a person can only ever have one stand, then wouldn't that mean the rest of the Council were just as unable to revive me as the Kaars that killed me? Normally, yes, however, in this case the fact they were identical proved a blessing, for it meant that they too had lacked the power of a Stand upon their return to Earth until they stole it from its previous host.

However, since each individual Kaars hailed from a different universe where the only constant was their being launched into orbit by a volcano, the type of Stand and the manner in which they obtained it differed from member to member.

One such member, who I shall henceforth refer to as [D4C Ultimate], possessed the ability to freely traverse between parallel worlds like A Certain [Wizard Marshall] and [Passing-Through Kamen Rider], while another, [Ultimate Chariot Requiem] possessed the ability to freely manipulate souls.

I'm sure you can see where I'm going with this, but for those of you slow on the uptake, the Council essentially offered to give me a new lease on life by placing my soul in a new body in a parallel world. And just to sweeten the deal, the Kars who identified as [Whitesnake Ultimate] offered me a little going away present to keep me out of trouble.

A good thing too, for no sooner had I awoken in my new body did I find myself on the receiving end of a murder plot that I only managed to escape thanks to the timely intervention of said present and the willingness of A Certain Unlucky Kamijou to drop everything to help a person in need.

A Certain High-School classroom...

If one were to describe Kamijou Touma in one word, it'd be Unfortunate. If you were a resident of his hometown, they'd probably tack on lines like 'God of Misfortune' or 'Damned Jinx' or 'Don't say his name! I still have payments on this car!' to name but a few.

Put simply, Kamijou Touma was the living embodiment of Murphy's Law, in that no matter where he went, no matter how careful he was, no matter what precautions he or anyone else might take to prevent it, anything that could go wrong would do so at the most inopportune time for him.

If he happened to walk under a ladder, it was guaranteed something would fall on him, if he tried to take advantage of a coupon, it would have expired by the time he got to the till. If he had to study for a test, he'd almost certainly get caught up in shenanigans that would prevent him from doing so.

And here I was thinking the events leading up to my death and subsequent rebirth had been Bizarre, when in all honesty I'd gotten off easy compared to some of the shit Touma had grown up with. It said a lot about the guy's quality of life that his parents sent him to Academy City in the hopes he'd be able to live a normal life surrounded by people who could literally piss fire and shit lightning.

Seriously, when I first witnessed Touma's weird luck in action, my first instinct was that it was the work of an [Enemy Stand], possibly even his own, though that train of thought quickly derailed when he completely failed to react to mine despite it literally hovering nose to nose with him.

Since then I'd switched my suspicions to his right hand, more accurately, the strange power that seemed to be sealed within said limb that allowed him to seemingly negate any and all supernatural abilities it came in contact with, which could be rather disconcerting in a City that was literally built around the development of Psychic Abilities.

However, if I've learnt anything from Fiction, it's that there's always two sides to every power. Sure, you could have eyes that allow you to pretty much give reality the middle finger, but it wouldn't do you any good if repeated use of them slowly drove you blind and/or insane.

Assuming Touma's right hand operated on similar principles as a Stand, the fact its range was limited to his right hand meant it's Ability had to be pretty damned powerful, since it didn't seem to augment his physical abilities in the slightest.

With that in mind, it would make a twisted sort of sense that the unfortunate teen's [Luck] would take a serious hit every time he 'Negated' something, and considering he lived in a city where you couldn't walk out your front door without encountering an Esper, there was no wonder he was so haggard.

Speaking of which, we currently find the ever-troubled Kamijou lying face down on his desk, a river of tears pooling from his eyes due to the bright red 'FAIL' stamp adorning his most recent test.

"What's the matter, Kami-yan?" Tsuchimikado enquired, the blonde sidling up to his fellow Delta-Farce member as the bell rang to signal the end of class, the grin on his face belying any real concern he felt for the teen "You're looking a bit under the weather there."

"Which is a polite way of saying you look like shit." I translated, earning a snicker from the blonde as i gave the unfortunate Kamijou a quick look-over "But seriously, you looked like the walking dead this morning, did you get any sleep at all?"

"Too hot to sleep…" Touma groaned as he rested his cheek atop his long-suffering desk, basking in the relatively cooler air of the classroom "Got back late last night too, so I couldn't ask the Manager to fix it."

"And even if you did, he'd probably just yell at you for busting it again." Tsuchimikado snickered, earning a depressed sigh from the brunet "Seriously, how many times does that make it this month?"

"I stopped counting after last year." Touma confessed, the haggard Kamijou looking, and sounding, so thoroughly beaten that even Tsuchimikado couldn't help but flinch i apprehension "Dammit, such misfortune…"

"Okay, now I know something's up." I cut in, eyeing his haggard, exhausted expression with a frown "This isn't just because your AC blew…what were you up to last night?"

"Maybe Kami-yan tried picking up a girl only for her boyfriend to show up?" Aogami mused aloud, earning a glare from Touma, as well as a few of their female classmates, particularly Fukiyose.

"My life isn't some romantic comedy." Touma scoffed, waving a hand dismissively, heedless of how several of his classmates rolled their eyes, some of them sending pointed looks at Fukiyose "Unlike you guys, I don't have time to waste getting shot down by every girl I try to talk to."

"Hey, don't go comparing me to Aogami." Tsuchimikado countered, ignoring the blue-haired teens cry of indignation as he whipped out his phone "I'll have you know I have several female acquaintances I can call up!"

"Digits or it didn't happen, and Maika's multiple Cell Phones don't count." I quipped as the blonde slumpdc, Touma and Aogami snickering at his defeat "Seriously man, you need to stop buying her everything she wants, she'll get spoiled."

"Ah, but that's the best thing about having a little sister, Kawa-yan!" Tsuchimikado insisted, the blonde idiot striking a pose as he spoke "As an older brother, spoiling your adorable little sister is your sworn duty!"

"Good thing I'm an only child then." I mused, though internally I couldn't help but flinch, wondering how my family had reacted to my, admittedly bizarre, death back in my original world. Parents aside, I'd never been particularly close to most of my family growing up, partly due to the age difference and partly because we all had different tastes and hobbies that made interacting awkward.

But despite all that there had been this general consensus between us that, when push came to shove, we'd have each other's backs if we ever got into trouble, even if it was for stupid shit we really shouldn't have been doing, so a part of me couldn't help but hope they'd managed to keep their noses relatively clean now that I wasn't there to bail them out.

"Mou, you really don't like kids, do you, Kawa-yan?" Aogami mused, the self-proclaimed omnivore holding his chin with a thoughtful expression "Could it be because everyone keeps mistaking you for-AGH?!"

"You had that coming…" Touma deadpanned with a grimace as Aogami went down like a house of cards courtesy of a sucker-punch to the kisser "Seriously though Itsuki, is being a baby-face really that bad?"

"It's personal." I grunted, rubbing my knuckles as Tsuchimikado knelt on the floor in a desperate bid to keep Aogami's soul from going towards the light.

Now, as some of you might have guessed, one of the few things I resented about my new lease on life, aside from having to go through Highschool again, was my new appearance. Don't get me wrong, I was happy to be alive, and as annoying having to go through High School again could be, Academy City's curriculum at least made things interesting this time around.

No, what pissed me off about my appearance, aside from the fact it made getting a drink in this town impossible, was that it was not my own, albeit de-aged, face glaring back at me every time I could bring myself to look in a mirror, but rather the baby-face of A Certain Hypocritical Wannabe [GARCHER] who wouldn't know how to be a hero if A Certain [Caped Baldy] bitch-slapped the stupid out of him.

Actually, no, I take that back, but only because it was an insult to A Certain [Counter Guardian] to even imply the two were similar, the poor bastard had suffered enough without having to be compared to the original occupant of my current body. At least when [EMIYA] set out to help people it was out of an honest desire to do so…that and a heaping helping of survivor's guilt & untreated PTSD.

[Kawasumi Itsuki], on the other hand, only went out of his way to 'save' people to stroke his ego.

Say what you like about Motoyasu or King Trash, but at least they managed to, if not outright redeem themselves, then at least make an attempt at doing so once the stupid had been knocked out of them.

With that in mind, you can probably imagine my disdain for being forced to live out my new lease on life as this world's version of Itsuki…though considering how the little shit's Accuracy was canonically an Esper Ability, it's entirely possible I hijacked his body after Truck-Kun sent him to Melromarc.

"Getting back on track, just what the hell have you been doing to leave you so beat up?" I demanded, ignoring Tsuchimikado's antics in favor of getting the conversation back on track "Have you been getting into fights again?" I quirked a brow as he averted his eyes "Wait…don't tell me it's your little groupie…?"

"This isn't funny man!" Touma suddenly snapped, gripping the sides of his head in frustration "Seriously, just what the heck is wrong with that middle-schooler? This goes beyond lack of respect, I swear she's out to get me!"

"Maybe she's got a crush on you?" I proposed, snickering as Touma paled even as several eavesdropping female classmates glared at the suggestion "They say kids tend to harass the ones they like, so maybe her zapping you is simply her way of saying she likes you."

"If that's the case I'd hate to see how she treats her enemies." Touma deadpanned, even as the bell sounded to end the school day "Ah well, another day, another detention…"

"You want me to stick around?" I asked, knowing full well that Komoe-sensei was likely to have the poor bastard running make-up tests until an hour before curfew, heedless of the fact of how this only added fuel to the rumors that she had a crush on him "Then I'm heading out…catch you later I guess."

"Such misfortune…" Touma sighed, gazing forlornly out the window even as Komoe-sensei stumbled towards his desk with an unstable stack of make-up papers that was already beginning to topple.

A Certain Public Park...

"You're awful, you know that?" Uiharu Kazari sighed, the lower-girl of Judgement pouting at her longtime friend and classmate as they relaxed on a bench not far from their school, classes having finally let out for the day.

"Sorry, I got carried away." Said friend, Saten Ruiko apologized, though the cheerful grin on her face showed she felt little remorse for her actions "Wanna see my panties to even the score?"

"No thanks." Uiharu counted quickly, knowing full well that Saten wasn't kidding, the smaller girl shaking her head with a sigh at her friend's antics "Geez Saten-san, sometimes I think you are pure evil."

A sentiment, it should be noted, that wasn't ill-placed. After all, how else was she supposed to treat the girl that repeatedly took every opportunity to flip her skirt to reveal her panties for all the world to see? Normally such an obvious form of harassment would've at least warranted a stern talking-to from an authority figure, but Saten was smart enough to never attempt it where one could be found and despite her embarrassment, Uiharu never saw fit to report her friend to said authorities.

One might find the friendship between Uiharu Kazari and Saten Ruiko unusual, given the difference in their overall personalities, but if there was ever a couple that proved that opposites attract, it was them.

If one were to describe Uiharu, the term 'Wallflower' would probably be mentioned at least once, and in all honesty served as the perfect description of the shy young lady, though she could get fairly spirited about things she loves, such as animals and what was commonly referred to the 'Ojou-sama Lifestyle'.

Indeed, so great was her devotion to this lifestyle that she purposefully tried to reign herself in despite being of common birth, something that apparently irked Saten to the point she'd take every opportunity to shatter the smaller girl's fragile veneer where possible.

Speaking of Saten, the first words that normally sprang to mind whenever she was formally introduced would probably be 'Outgoing' and 'Friendly'. While this was certainly true, it should really be noted that those who knew her well, like Uiharu, would probably add the word 'Shameless' to the list.

If confronted about the latter, Saten would normally laugh it off before proceeding to flip up Uiharu's skirt in a public venue as payback for 'slandering her good name', at which point Uiharu, after calming down, would drag her unrepentant friend away before the Academy City Security Robots showed up.

"Oh yeah, I forgot." Saten recalled, snapping Uiharu out of her thoughts as she smiled down at the smaller girl expectantly "You had your [System Scan] right? How did it go?"

"Ah…that…It was an absolute disaster…" Uiharu confessed, her embarrassed smile telling Saten all she really needed to know "I'm still ranked as a Level 1, just like I was in Elementary School." She shook her head self-consciously "You should have heard my homeroom teacher, 'Are those flowers on your head just for show? Use their blooming ability to make your own Blossom'!"

"Wow…there's just so much material there for me to poke fun of I'm actually spoiled for choice." Saten mused with a wry grin as she took a seat beside her friend "But that aside, try to keep your chin up, okay? At the end of the day, being stuck at Level-1's way better then having no power at all."

Uiharu grimaced, the flowers on her head seeming to wilt slightly as she averted her eyes from her friend's confident, self-mocking grin. Like so many other bright-eyed hopefuls, they had emigrated to Academy City with the dream of enrolling in their renowned Esper Power Development Program.

However, while Uiharu had managed to develop an Esper Ability, in this case the ability to conserve the temperature of any object she comes into physical contact with, Saten had thus far failed to develop any form of ability whatsoever.

It certainly wasn't from a lack of trying on her part, if anything by this point the only methods Saten hadn't attempted in her bid to awaken her latent abilities were invasive surgery and experimental drugs outside the officially sanctioned curriculum.

"Hey now, don't you start worrying your pretty little head about little old me." The Level-0 cut in, recognizing the beginnings of an Uiharu sulk, grinning down at the smaller girl "I make sure to enjoy every day as I can." She elaborated "So long as I'm having fun, it's okay!"

"That's a good philosophy…" Uiharu acknowledged with a relieved smile, accepting the proffered headphone Saten held out so she could listen to the song Saten downloaded, the Level-0 waxing on about how a true fan will buy a physical copy even if they already have a digital copy of the song stored.

It simply wasn't in Saten's nature to focus on what she couldn't do, nor was she the kind to feel jealous of Uiharu's, admittedly situational, ability. If anything, Saten was apathetic towards her status as a Level-0, choosing instead to focus on all the wonders that living in Academy City had to offer.

Some might call this escapism, and if pressed, Saten would probably concur, though she would also point out that choosing to ignore her lack of growth was still better than losing hope and becoming a drop-out like most members of Skill-Out.

"That being the case," Saten finished, the Level-0 rising to her feet with a clenched fist as the song she was listening to finally came to an end "C'mon with me so we can buy that new album!"

"Ah! I'm sorry Saten but I'm afraid I'll need to make a raincheck." Uiharu stammered, doing her best to block out her friend's look of surprise as she clapped her hands together and bowed "I have an appointment with Shirai-san today!"

"Shirai…?" Saten repeated, blinked in confusion as she turned to regard the smaller girl in confusion "That name sounds familiar…Isn't she that weird Sempai you have in Judgement?"

"My fondest wish is about to come true…" Uiharu elaborated, ignoring Saten's question in favor of gazing off into the horizon with stars in her eyes "Today I'm finally going to meet the Ace of Tokiwadai, the 3rd Ranked Level 5, Misaka Mikoto-san!"

"Tokiwadai's Level 5 huh…?" Saten mused, her good cheer from earlier vanishing as a solemn expression former on her face "I bet she's just another arrogant jerk who flaunts her power while looking down her nose at the rest of us." She scoffed, waving of Uiharu's protests "Trust me Uiharu, people like her are all the same, thinking they can treat the lower levels with contempt." She smirked "And since she's the Darling of Tokiwadai, she's probably the worst of the bunch."

"Oh! I love that nickname!" Uiharu preened, snapping her friend out of her morbid tirade as she proceeded to gush over her imagined version of the Railgun "To think I'd have the chance to meet such an influential person!"

'Oh, right, I forgot how obsessed she is with the so-called 'elites.' Saten recalled, unable to help the bead of sweat that adorned her brow as she watched Uiharu gush "Seriously, I think gushing over celebrities so much has begun to affect your brain."

"It has not!" Uiharu insisted, her pout giving way to an excited smile as she jumped to her feet "Hey, I've got an idea, why don't you tag along Saten-san?" she proposed, completely ignoring her protests as she grabbed her arm and dragged her down the street "You don't often get a chance like this after all!"

And that was how Saten found herself munching on crepes alongside a beaming Uiharu as they watched Misaka Mikoto, the 3rd Ranked Level 5 Electromancer otherwise known as 'Tokiwadai's Railgun', try to fend off the clearly unwanted advances of her Level 4 Teleporter Roommate/stalker, Shirai Kuroko.

"Isn't this great?" the smaller girl beamed, drawing Saten's attention back from the floor show "I mean Misaka-san." She added for clarity "She's not at all what you'd expect from someone so famous, I'm actually kind of glad that she's so friendly and approachable."

'I gotta give her that much at least." Saten conceded, as what little she'd seen of the Level 5 had blown her preconceived notions of her out of the water. After all, it was kind of hard to feel antagonistic towards someone who would act all Tsundere only to gush over being given a Gekota phone-strap.

'Are all High-Level Espers this eccentric, or just the ones that go to Tokiwadai?' Saten mused, watching in bemusement as Kuroko continued to chase Mikoto around the square, only to blink as she spied a potential hazard headed their way "Hey, uh, guys? You might wanna-!"

The warning came too late, Saten looking on with a grimace as Mikoto, not paying attention to her surroundings, effectively body-checked a guy, causing her to stumble back into Kuroko, their crepes going flying as the two began to fall.

"Misaka-san! Shirai-san!" Uiharu yelped, the smaller girl leaping to her feet in concern alongside a startled Saten-

…thuuUUUUUM!

-only to blink at the sight of the pair from Tokiwadai standing upright, seemingly completely unharmed despite being in free-fall not two seconds prior "Wait, you're okay?"

"I…think so?" Mikoto queried, looking just as confused as the rest of them "That was weird…I could've sworn we were falling; did you keep us from falling with your Teleportation, Kuroko?"

"Not me." Kuroko denied with a shake of her head "Even if you hadn't caught me by surprise, I wouldn't have had the time to pull off a calculation that complex. And even if I did, I'd still be touching you when we landed."

"Hey…" An annoyed male voice called out, drawing the girls' attention to the figure that had been quietly standing just behind the pair from Tokiwadai, a familiar pair of Crepes held in his hands.

'Oooh, Mama like!' Saten gushed, a blush forming on her face as she took in the curly blonde hair that framed a baby-face that would set any cougar's instincts ablaze, marred only by the scowl of annoyance that adorned it 'Wait, aren't those Shirai and Misaka's crepes?'

"Don't you girls know better than to waste food?" the baby-faced blonde demanded, his snide tone completely shattering the girls' illusions of his character "And here I thought Tokiwadai had standards."

'Oooh…this won't end well…' Saten predicted, looking on in morbid fascination alongside a concerned Uiharu as Kuroko's expression morphed from wary disinterest at the sight of the Bishounen to 'Tonight Bitches Die', actually getting right up in the teen's face.

"Hah? What was that?" the Teleporter demanded, forcing Saten to cover her mouth in order to suppress her laughter at such a stereotypical delinquent tactic "Just who do you think you're talking to? Hah?"

"A pervert that thinks she can get away with sexually harassing someone in public?" the sharp-tonged bishounen snarked, Uiharu actually doing a spit-take before doubling over in a bid to suppress her laughter while Kuroko sputtered incoherently "Seriously, I suppose I can't blame you for being trigger-happy if this is the company you keep, Little Miss Bug-Zapper."

'Okay, I take it all back.' Saten mused, basking in the sheer wonder of the scene before her even as Misaka-san snapped at the oh-so-fitting nickname 'Tagging along with Uiharu was SO worth it!'

Not much action in this chapter, simply setting the basis for how 'Itsuki-2.0' came into being.

To clarify, this is not Kawasumi Itsuki. He plays no role in this story apart from being the Meat Suit for the MC.

For the record, Itsuki's Ability Level was probably Level 2 or 3 prior to his death, but after MC moved in it dropped to 'Level 0', forcing him to drop out of Itsuki's school and enroll in Touma's.

Again, mostly wrote this is a test to break through my writer's block. don't expct regular updates.