He feels himself being carried, and every step jars his achy body. He wants to tell whoever it is to just set him down already, but he can't find the energy.
-0o0-o0o-0o0-
He feels himself go from upright to flat, and he's pretty sure he's on his back, but he can't really tell. He feels like he's just floating around without any ground beneath him. He's not even sure if the sky is still above him, or if it's moved too. No energy to open his eyes.
-o0o-o0o-o0o-
His eyes open just a crack and he can vaguely see Zuko poking at a fire with a stick and looking between him and some other person. What was her name again? The thought flits in and out that Zuko might just decide to leave him here for being such a jerk.
-0o0-o0o-0o0-
His eyes open again to see Zuko above him, brushing Lee's hair out of his face and looking at him with a worried expression. He decides he must be dreaming and goes back to sleep.
-o0o-0o0-o0o-
He feels some sort of warmth being poured down his throat. He can't taste it and has no idea what it is, but he also can't breathe! He tries to breathe in, but it doesn't work! He's drowning! He can't move either! He's drowning!
-0o0-o0o-0o0-
Lee doesn't want to wake up. He feels heavier than a mountain and achy like one fell on him. But no matter how long he keeps his eyes shut, he doesn't go back to sleep, and his body starts to become more and more aware of the world around it.
Slowly, he realizes that he's warm, and a bit damp. He can tell the sun is still up, which means it must be some time the next day at least, from when he collapsed in the field.
He's lying on something soft and a bit lumpy. He's cozy, and even though he's awake, he doesn't want to move.
A cough off to his right rips his eyes open.
Hua is still asleep, but she's coughing quite a bit.
He hops up and stumbles as the world spins. His eyes feel sticky and blurry and he rubs at them as he crawls over to her.
"Hua?" He asks, surprised by how scratchy his voice is. "Wake up!" He shakes her.
"Lee?" She cracks her eyes open a little. "What are you doing out of bed? You're sick too. Go back to sleep."
"Where's Cinderman?" He asks, ignoring her and looking at the remains of the campfire behind him.
"I don't know. He was right here." He can barely hear her. She's so weak.
A sneeze interrupts his train of thought.
"Go back to bed, Lee. I'm sure he just went out hunting or foraging. He'll be back." She says.
Another sneeze interrupts his attempt at a reply. His throat feels like sandpaper and his head aches and his nose is running and he just feels miserable. But he can tell he's not as sick as Hua.
"I'm going to go find him." He says, standing up. He falls right back down.
"Go back to bed." Hua says again.
"I can't sleep." He protests.
"Rest then. Just lie down."
"How about some tea? I'll bet we'll both feel better." He offers by way of compromise.
"Alright. I think there might be some mint left in Zuko's saddlebag." She tries to raise a hand to point, but her arm just scrapes over the bed uselessly and comes to rest barely a few inches from where it started.
Lee crawls over, ignoring the pounding in his head, and starts digging through Zuko's stuff. Normally, he'd be thrilled at the chance to go looking for food. Now, he's a man on a mission.
He overturns everything in the saddlebag, subtlety utterly abandoned and finds no mint tea.
"I wonder if there'd be any growing around here?" He asks, making his way back to Hua.
"Maybe, but probably not this late in the year here. And I don't think you should go looking for it anyway."
She says, trying to direct him back to his bed with her gaze.
He sighs, and drinks some water left in a canteen. He's not sure who's it is, and at this moment he really doesn't care. He wishes it were hot tea.
Where is Zuko?
An image flashes through his mind of the day before (at least he thinks it was only yesterday...). Zuko giving him back his rescued possessions.
"Lee, your tea survived. And your pictures. They were under a rock nearby where you were. Hua found them."
He scrambles back over to his saddlebag, the sudden excess of movement causing a coughing fit. Which really doesn't help his headache.
He digs through the scrambled contents and finds the box of White Dragon Tea.
"I have some!" He exclaims, triumphantly waving in the air.
He dumps some water from a canteen into the cleanest pot he can find and Hua gently lights a dry branch for him to rekindle the campfire with. Soon the water boils and two tea packets go into the pot.
"White Dragon Tea. Lee, I've been meaning to ask, but where did you find that? It's super rare!"
"It was Sensu's. I don't know where he got it from. I found it in his coat pocket, back in Chin Village." He flicks at a stone near his foot.
"Lee, are you sure you want to share?" She asks, softly.
"I don't really have a choice. We both need it. We don't have any mint, and Zuko's not here to find us any more." He crosses his arms and glowers into the fire.
"You don't have to share. I can wait until Zuko comes back." She moves like she wants him to come over and sit next to her bed, but he pretends not to notice. He doesn't really hate her anymore. He's not sure he ever really did. But he's not sure he wants to be friendly with her either.
"We need it. And we don't know when he's coming back." He doesn't dare say "if". He wants to. But he doesn't want to upset Hua right now, and besides: at this point, he's pretty sure that Zuko isn't going to just ditch either of them.
"I'm sure it won't be too much longer."
"Tea's ready." Before he can think too much about it, he pours her a cup and hands it to her, then one for himself.
She can't hold it to her lips, so he helps. Before long, some healthy color comes back to her face and her breathing seems easier.
Lee gulps his tea down, sadly unable to taste it, but glad for the near instant relief it brings his throat, nose and head. He still feels heavy and tired, and a bit achy, but much stronger than before.
"Why don't you take a nap Lee? When you wake up, we can go look for some more mint. And for Zuko, if he isn't back yet." She says.
"I don't want to sleep. I'm going to look around for something to eat." He says, standing up and not feeling dizzy. Just too tired to move. He moves anyway.
He tosses her the jerky from his saddlebag, enjoying the feeling of being in charge.
"You can have that while you wait. I'll bet there are some berries out there somewhere. And Sensu used to tell me you could boil the inside of pine bark and eat it. The soft, spongy stuff on the inside." He walks out of camp and starts looking around as he goes, careful to note anything interesting looking to help him find his way back. He doesn't want to get lost and leave Hua alone too long.
"Lee! Come back! It's not safe!" She calls. "It'll be dark soon!"
"I'll be back before it's dark." He calls back.
A scrambling, sliding sound echoes around the trees as she stumbles out after him.
"I'm going with you." She huffs. A piece of jerky appears in front of his face. "Eat that. You need it too!"
He grabs it and chows down.
He tries to think of anything that might help them find their wayward leader.
Some tracks leading back up to the fields above clue them in.
When they reach the top of the hill, they find a patch of earth disturbed and the lines along the ground distinctly draw out a square shape. Footprints are scrambled here, so a fight of some kind seems likely.
A set of footprints spread like the person ran leads away up through the fields to the north.
The dry grass makes it hard to see any footprints the further up the hill they go, but Hua points to places where the grass is pressed down and blades of it are bent or broken.
"It looks like he was followed up here too. I don't know how many people, but it's definitely not just Zuko up here." She says.
He follows Hua, hoping she can tell what happened better than he can because at this point, he can't really tell the difference. He just knows someone was up here.
The grass dead ends into a burnt patch of ground that seems to stretch nearly all the way across the hill.
They try to find more footprints, but the wind has already brushed the ashes clear of them.
Lee sneezes and Hua coughs as they make their way back to the woods.
A bunch of footprints crisscrossing the dirt just in front of the treeline prompts them to try looking further downstream.
"Maybe he tried to throw them off." Hua says. A shiver wracks her body.
It's getting dark and cold. The sun is nearly set now, and within the woods it might as well be gone entirely for the night.
Hua breathes deep and slow and lights a flame in her hand to show them any footprints on the ground.
Lee tries not to watch it dance in her hand. Tries really hard not to remember the smell of his burnt home. Tries not to remember the bodies of the people he knew but could no longer recognize. Without the ability to smell the woods around him, he can't distract his thoughts with another scent.
"Lee?" Hua notices him drop behind her.
He tries to answer her, but he gags and tries desperately not to be sick to his stomach.
She comes closer and the fire enters his field of view again.
"No light. Please." He covers his eyes.
"Oh!" The flame dies. She rubs his shoulder.
"Don't touch me!" He yells. She jerks back.
"What can I do, Lee? What do you need?" She asks, startled.
"Just wait." He motions vaguely. "Over there."
"Alright." He feels her move away and fights to breath.
After what seems like an eternity, his chest loosens up and he can breathe again. He coughs and sneezes a few times, his throat none too happy about the abuse it's just suffered.
"Lee?" Hua calls.
"I'm ok. But no more fire in your hands!" He replies, standing and making his way over to her. The bushes, branches and briar thorns reach through the darkness to scratch at his arms.
"Come on then. We should go back to camp. We can't see anything without light, and I don't want to get lost when it gets pitch black out here." She says.
They wander back towards camp, getting scratched up and tripping more than once over rocks and roots.
It's completely dark when they spot their fire burning through the bushes.
"I thought we put that out!" Hua says, running forward. "I hope it hasn't spread!"
Someone crashes out of the bushes to their right and barrels into Hua, who crashes into Lee and all three of them roll to the edge of the river below, stopping just shy of actually falling in.
"Lee?!" Zuko's voice calls out.
"Here." Lee answers, spitting out dirt and trying to work it out from between his teeth.
"I'm here too!" Hua pipes up, through her coughing. "Where were you?!"
"Looking for you." His sulky tone sounds a breath away from shouting. "What were you two doing?!"
"Looking for you, Cinderman. You left us and didn't come back!" Lee answers this time, a swell of anger crowding out the voice nudging him to let Hua explain the situation. He gets right up in the Firebender's face. "Where did you go?!"
"Don't yell at me!" The man shouts. He huffs a short breath. "Get back to camp!" Not quite a shout this time.
They work their way back up to the fire, Hua coughing and gasping for breath the whole way.
When they are seated in the light and can see each other clearly, Cinderman pulls some leaves out of his satchel.
"I found some more mint while I was looking for you two. There wasn't much left in the patch, but it should be enough for two cups of tea. It'll get you through the night." He says, his voice much calmer now, and almost gentle as he sets to work preparing the tea.
"Where did you go?" Lee asks again, doing his best to not kick a stick by his foot.
"I heard someone nearby. They weren't friendly. I had to lead them away from camp." He replies, placing the pot over the fire.
"You could have told us!" Lee pouts.
"There wasn't time to. And besides, you didn't even wake up when I fed you soup. You weren't strong enough and needed to rest."
For some reason, the words "you weren't strong enough" fill Lee with shame. He could have done better. He doesn't know how. But he knows he should have.
A cup of warm tea is placed in his hands. The warmth grounds him a little bit more and he's able to look at the campfire and still breathe.
"Drink that slowly, Lee." Cinderman says, as he goes over to hold a cup for Hua to drink from.
Their adventure has tired her to the point she almost can't keep her eyes open. Cinderman takes a damp cloth and lays it over her head.
"Just take a deep breath. Imagine all the heat in your body leaving when you breathe out." He coaches her.
She follows his advice, breathing deep and exhaling between sips of tea.
As soon as her cup is empty, she's asleep.
Lee tenses up as he notices Cinderman's attention switch to him.
"What were you thinking leaving camp, Lee? Why didn't you just stay put and wait for me?" He asks. Lee is surprised by how gentle his voice is. He'd been expecting him to still be angry.
"Me? What about her? She's the older one!" He pouts anyway, hoping to avoid getting a lecture. Whenever he and Sensu got into trouble together, Sensu was usually the only one punished because he was supposed to "lead by example" or something because he was older than Lee.
"You're the one with the habit of wandering off." He responds. Lee gets the impression the man is trying not to smile. He sees the corner of his mouth twitch up just a little.
"Doesn't mean it's always me!" He kicks that stick that's been glaring at him since they got back.
"It always is. She's older than you and has more sense. She wouldn't have left unless she was worried about you. And she's a lot sicker than you are. She wouldn't have left without a very good, very immediate reason." He's starting to really hate how sensible Cinderman is being. He thinks he likes it better when the guy is angry at him.
I was looking for you because we needed you. We needed food and tea. And you weren't here! He thinks.
But he doesn't quite want to admit that.
"I thought you left us." He tries to growl instead, but his throat won't cooperate. "For good."
"What?!" The shock on Cinderman's face is obvious. Lee feels a measure of victory, even as he knows it's wrong.
"You left us." He says again. "I thought we were going to die." Ok, he's being a bit dramatic. But he wants Cinders to feel bad. If he feels bad about it, he won't leave them again. Right?
"I'm sorry, Lee. I had to. I couldn't let those men find you. They were bandits. Who knows what they would have done to you? Or Hua. They might have let you go. They were going to kill me and Hua though. Or...something. I couldn't let them find us." The man stares into the fire.
"Or something?" Lee pries.
"Or something. I don't want to scare you more, Lee. There are worse things out there in the world. You don't need to know about it right now. The important thing is that nothing bad happened. We all got a little scratched up looking for each other. But we're all here now. And we're all safe. I'll try not to leave you guys again. I may have to sometimes, to lead bad people away. But other than that, I'll stick with you. I promise." The man raises his arm like he's going to pull Lee in for a hug, but thinks better of it and drops it back to his side instead.
Lee is sort of glad for that. He's had enough talking for the night.
As soon as he's done with his tea, he crawls back on his stone and moss bed and burrows under the sleeping bag.
His nose is a little clearer now and he can smell the campfire. Images start to flit across his eyes when he closes them. He tosses and turns, even as his body feels heavier than mountains and begging for sleep.
"Can't sleep Lee?" Cinders asks, after what seems an eternity.
He decides not to respond, and glares at him instead.
"I can't help you if you don't tell me what's wrong."
"The smoke. I can't..." A lump clogs his throat as another image presents itself, causing his voice to squeak.
"The smell bothers you?"
He nods.
Cinders goes over to his saddle bag and gets a glass container of something.
"It's lavender and chamomile. It's an ointment. It should help you relax, and you won't smell the smoke as much." He says. "Put some under your nose."
Lee does as he's told, too tired to argue. Immediately he feels some relief. He rolls so that he faces away from the fire, and the smell is similar to the purple flowers that used to grow in the fields near his home.
The images of burning buildings in the night are replaced with sunny skies and a crisp breeze and the feeling of freedom in the wide open spaces of his old home.
"I used to have trouble sleeping too. I still do sometimes." Cinderman says, quietly. "I didn't like fire much when I was your age either."
"But you're a Firebender." Lee doesn't have the energy to glare, or put any bite into his words.
"Firebenders can be afraid of fire too, Lee. Just like Waterbenders can drown and Earthbenders can still be killed in rockslides if they get surprised by them. Just because we can bend the elements to our wills and call ourselves masters, it doesn't mean we can't still be intimidated or destroyed by our elements. Too much of anything is just as bad as not enough. You know the scar on my face is a burn scar. Right?"
"Yeah. My dad said something about it when you came to visit. Your "own father burned and disowned" you." He's not sure what "disowned" means. But he knows Zuko isn't lying. The Fire Lord Ozai's cruelty had been well known even in their little village. Hearsay of all kinds made it to Chin Village and he does remember hearing something about a Burned Prince.
"Yeah. I didn't like being near fire for a while after that." A few moments of silence between them allows the crackling of the fire to work it's way into his thoughts. He wonders what it feels like to get burned that badly.
"What does "disowned" mean?" He asks, eventually.
"It pretty much means he denied that I was his son. He kicked me out of the palace and told me not to come back."
"You were my age when that happened?" Lee can't imagine Zuko being as small as he is, half his face burned off, and sent wandering around the world alone. How did he survive? Lee can't even go a day without running into serious trouble on his own!
"Yes. I was lucky that my uncle came with me. My father allowed it, because it meant less trouble for him at home. Uncle taught me a lot of what I know and found people to teach me the things he didn't know."
"Why did your dad do that to you?" Lee almost feels angry for younger Zuko, but he catches it in time and forces the feeling away.
"It's a long story, Lee. And it's a long time ago. It doesn't matter anymore." The tone in the guy's voice says otherwise, but Lee decides to let it drop. He really doesn't want to feel sorry for Cinderman anyway. It's bad enough that he's starting to like Hua.
Lee starts to drift off, his thoughts returning to the sunny fields and breezy skies of his home in the spring and he almost slips into a dream of climbing one of his favorite trees along the edge of a field to hide from his mother's nagging about chores.
A light breeze stirs the leaves in the trees above the campsite, and he feels himself slowly floating into sleep.
"Lee, I hope you know I really had nothing to do with what happened to your village. I promise I'm going to find out everything I can about it as soon as we find your brother and get you both somewhere safe." Zuko says. He almost sounds like he isn't really talking to Lee at all.
It pulls Lee out of his half slumber anyway. He doesn't turn around or say anything. He knows Zuko isn't responsible for what happened. He wasn't too sure before, but after the last few weeks, he knows it now.
"I promise, Lee. On my honor. On my life. I will find your brother and get you both to a new home."
He drifts off thinking about how weird the world is, and slips into a dream where a much younger Zuko and Sensu are kicking a ball around in a town that looks like Chin Village with the wall of Ba Sing Se around it.
A/N Turns out getting a tooth pulled leave plenty of time for writing fanfiction. lol! That said, I'd like to not have a tooth pulled again. Hope you all enjoyed the longer chapter. Updates will still be sporadic, but again: I never intend for this story to go a year without one again.
Thank you to all who have read this far, followed, favorited, reviewed, and/or continue to read this fic. I love to write, and I love sharing what I write with all of you! Any feedback is appreciated. :)