Sesshomaru floated between decimating dreams and harsh realities with a mind and heart in tatters. It had been a long time since he had felt such a sensation. Long ago this particular feeling of the world crashing down upon him came with a death. He hoped it wouldn't be the case this time.
The damp scent of the cave hit his nose and informed him that they were finally out of the wretched illusion. Regardless of his cognizance of the world, Sesshomaru refused to pull himself from his half-sleep. The question of Kagome's state hung in the air tenuously. If he woke up, he would have to face her or the faces of his pack, a failure of an alpha. Reality would have to be faced as would his actions.
Radiant green light piercing a woman's chest flitted across his thoughts vaguely. Sesshomaru cringed upon recalling the memory of Kagome's face as he murdered her.
Lovely blue gaze– eyes he desired to write poetry of, declare their beauty to all– looked upon him at that moment with shock. Her beautiful face was stricken with horror as his acidic hands pierced through her skin, her lips opening to a silent scream. Phantom sensations of her muscles tearing, ribs cracking, and warm blood leaking down his arm haunted him. He held the heart of the woman he loved and crushed it like it was nothing. A sickening feeling slithered across his chest as he thought about her haunting gaze. She didn't appear angered by his actions when she looked at him. It was sadness; melancholy followed by immense disappointment as though she expected the end.
Only one other time he had seen raw anguish upon her features. His half-brother had married a hanyou woman and left the village of Edo. The night he departed, she sat by herself in the meadow. The heady scent of salt drifted from where she sat in the grasses. At that time, he merely observed the miko. Sesshomaru barely knew her then, but when he saw the way she curled into herself. Fists grasping tufts of unruly black waves as she silently cried into the night. He never wanted to see her go through such pain ever again, and yet he just committed an atrocity against her. How could he face her?
"Get up, fool. Face your actions like a fucking man." The beast's snarl echoed in Sesshomaru's mind. The daiyoukai slanted a side glance at the awful beast. He said nothing which made the infuriated creature snarl. Cyan eyes sparked with open disdain. "Despicable. We call ourselves the most powerful daiyoukai, yet here you are brought to your knees by a mere human woman."
"You know damn well the extent of our regard, Beast. Know yourself and know your place," Sesshomaru hissed back. "I will not permit you to talk down to me in such a manner."
"Then get the fuck up."
"No. Not until we know she is alive."
"If you would listen rather than fight me, you'd know she lives."
The beast's unforgiving talons plunged deep into Sesshomaru's face forcing him to wake up. Jaken, Rin, and Kohaku loomed over him with apprehensive looks. The moment his golden eyes showed consciousness they rejoiced in their relief.
"My Lord we were so worried–" Jaken cut himself off at the sharp look he received from Sesshomaru. "Ah, what I mean to say is the others were worried, milord. I, your most humble servant, on the other hand believed in full confidence of your strength–!"
Sesshomaru ignored him and brushed past to approach the tiny miko. She lay prone on the ground by herself, the Zarashi-Washiki was nowhere to be seen. Coming to her side, he fell to his knees to scoop the wonderfully alive woman into his arms and hold her. This close Sesshomaru could taste the honeyed sweetness of her scent. Warm and saccharine, he wanted to drown in it. The daiyoukai listened intently to Kagome's breathing and savored the warmth of her skin. With an ear against her unwounded chest, he could feel the steady breath of healthy lungs and a living heart.
The cavern, the concerned voices of his pack, and everything else were drowned out by the sound of her heartbeat. Sesshomaru's heart thundered against his ribs, from fear of her death or the adrenaline from her living he could not be certain. After what he had done to her and what he had to do to bring her back, Sesshomaru could not bear to part with her at that moment. Emotions he was not equipped to deal with bucked against his self-control.
The skies opened with a vengeance as the daiyoukai allowed his tears to fall. Ignoring the blatant shock upon his pack's faces, Sesshomaru cradled the tiny human woman in his arms. Droplets of salty water fell upon Kagome's cheek and slid down her chin. Open and unashamed of the vulnerability this miko brought out of him.
—
Kagome awoke with a gasp.
Hot, unbearable pain lanced through her body and dragged her back to the world of the living. Clutching her heart, she wept as the onslaught of pain ruptured through from the vivid, phantom sensation of a claw piercing her heart. It was disappointing, she was having such a good dream before it all went to shit. Kagome ran fingers through her hair roughly, a bitter smile pulling across her face. Go figure she would torture herself even in dreams, she thought to herself bitterly. As the pain began to fade, she pushed herself up and wiped away tears. Her heart dropped seeing nothing but cave walls and darkness.
"Kagome-sama!" A chorus of voices called out her name followed by a flurry of arms wrapping themselves tightly around her. The dripping, crying faces of Kohaku and Rin buried themselves into her. Kagome blinked owlishly at the teenagers clutching her tightly. With a weak laugh, she patted their heads affectionately.
"What's all the fuss, you guys? You're acting as though I'm going to float away." Kagome teased.
"You were gone for so long, Kagome-sama," Kohaku whispered. He removed himself from the miko to look at her with sorrowful eyes. Kagome squeezed his shoulder in a show of comfort but remained very confused. As much as she knew the two teenagers admired her, this was borderline overkill. She had gone on missions hundreds of times, what was so different about this time?
"We thought you were dead!" Rin's sentence was interrupted by several hiccuping sobs.
The words cut through Kagome like a hot knife and shame burned in her belly in the aftershock. Did they have so little faith in her that she couldn't complete her mission? Shaking the thoughts away with a frown, the miko gently rubbed Rin's back in soothing circles. Earnestly she attempted to recall her movements before this situation, but could only see the shadow of a child's face. A shiver crawled down her spine at the memory of the child's haunting face.
"I'm right here, Rin, I'm not going anywhere. See?" Kagome whispered soothingly. Cupping the girl's face in her hands, Kagome forced her to look into her eyes with a smile. Wiping away snot and tears, Rin returned the smile weakly.
"Please don't disappear like this ever again, Kagome-sama," the girl pleaded. Kagome cocked her head to the side, officially confused.
"Why do you keep saying I disappeared? I left only a few days ago." Kagome spoke slowly. Rin glanced at Kohaku who returned a concerned look towards her. Oh for the gods' sake. "What happened?"
"You have been missing for a whole year, miko," Sesshomaru's voice rumbled. Warmth spread throughout her entire body at the sound of his timbre. Kagome's head snapped towards him with a bright flush on her cheeks. They were in an awkwardly intimate position, she laid in his lap with his arms wrapped protectively around her. While the physical touch was enough to make her head spin, it was made worse by the sudden flashes of the dreams. Foolish dreams still clung to her heart. It only lasted a moment, however, when his statement sank in. A year passed?
"It's my fault," a child's muted voice confessed. Kagome sucked in a breath as she saw the Zarashi-Washiki approach.
"You!" Kagome scrambled to her feet to point an angry finger at the spirit. The placid expression on the spirit watched her curiously as she attempted to find the words to throw at it. Before she could give it a piece of her mind, it spoke once more.
"This is my doing. I put a curse on you to keep you with me forever. I'm sorry."
"Why?"
Wide blue eyes stared incredulously at the Zarashi-Washiki as her question came out as a whisper. The creature refused to meet her eyes, staring at its anxious fingers. Flickers of memory recalled her coming upon a small child in this cavern. It had begged for its mother before launching into her arms and then…
Nothing.
Frantically, Kagome looked from Kohaku to Rin to Sesshomaru. Her eyes begged for answers which she found in the distressed stares from the teenagers. She had been trapped this whole time. Fingers curled into tight fists against her lap. Kagome bit her lip to keep herself from screaming out in frustration at her obvious failure.
Small, pale hands covered hers bringing her to look upon the mournful face of the Zarashi-Washiki. The spirit looked like everyone and no one with its onyx eyes and long black hair. Those eyes were filled with unshed tears and regret.
"Can you please help me?" it asked. Kagome watched as the child placed her hands over its heart. Gasping, she knelt to its level as it bore its most vulnerable area. Initially, the miko planned to exorcise the child with her reiki in that very spot.
"Are you ready?" Kagome asked, her voice warming with kindness. The Zarashi-Washiki nodded before glancing around apprehensively. Finding no immediate threat, the spirit wrapped its small arms around her neck and buried its face into the crook of her neck.
"Thank you for being the best mommy I've ever had. I'll never forget you, Kagome." The child embraced her with all of its strength. With a sad smile, the miko returned the hug.
"Good night, sweet child," Kagome bade the spirit farewell as she placed a palm on its heart. The purifying pink light of her reiki bled into the Zarashi-Washiki's heart. With a peaceful smile, the spirit vanished into thin air.
The spirit was finally put to rest, it was time to go home.
––
After gathering of her things, they set off immediately. Without the Zarashi-Washiki's presence the area was surprisingly empty. Sounds seemed to echo more harshly without its overwhelming aura. As the group embarked for the exit the cavern was plunged into a tense silence. Sesshomaru took the lead followed by Kagome a few yards back. The others fell behind to watch the rear should any more strange spirits attack.
The miko watched her mentee with a strange feeling in her heart. Rin's miko garb made her look much older than she was, but still carried that teen awkwardness about her. With a rueful smile, Kagome thought of a young girl who carried herself similarly in the face of her new role. Rin was the picture of a battle ready priestess with her miko robes and dagger in hand. The picture filled Kagome's heart with pride and sadness as she came to the realization that her mentee had grown up. Soon she could go on missions with her and, not far off, by herself.
"Or she could end up like me and complete bomb a simple exorcism mission." The barbed words prickled against her mind. Kagome bit her lip, not wanting to come to terms with the new reality. She had failed miserably.
As the thoughts flitted across her mind, the miko increasingly became more aware of her group. Her mind wandered into dangerous places, assuming they believed the worst of her. That they found her weak. Stomach clenching and heart racing, Kagome took deep breaths to center herself.
Breathing did little satiate the violently bubbling anxiety crawling into Kagome's throat. She felt ridiculous, in this shame she was transported to a time when she could barely nock an arrow much less shoot one. She had put herself in danger and worried her friends. Possibly making him worry. Kagome's eyes nervously glanced towards the leader of the pack. A small voice in the foolish part of her mind preened at the idea of the daiyoukai worrying about her. Gods, she was being horrible. Cursing herself, she stared at her feet with a watery smile.
"I'm sorry, guys, I should have been able to handle this mission. I'm sorry to have made you come all that way just to save me." Kagome warbled, fiddling with the string of her bow. This was embarrassing and awful, but the least she could do was rectify her wrongdoings.
Abruptly, her nose crashed into Sesshomaru's back. The armor was unforgiving and left her nose stinging painfully with the contact. Kagome released a rambling string of apologies for not paying attention. When he didn't answer she peeked up into the daiyoukai's eyes. His expression was stony and impenetrable, the slightest furrow wrinkling his brow. Slowly, he turned to face her fully and approached her swiftly. Heat pooled deep in her belly as he stalked towards her. Fast. Kagome walked backward to put distance between them, she couldn't handle a confrontation right now.
"I'm– I'm sorry Sess-Sesshomaru-u, I wasn't paying any attention and I feel really bad about everything that happened–!"
Her words cut off as her back met hard rock. Trapped against the cave wall, Kagome had no room to avoid the oncoming daiyoukai. Sending a prayer to the gods, she squared her jaw and prepared for the worst. If he was about to rip her a new one, she had to deal with it head-on.
Sesshomaru was upon her now, towering over her. Placing his hands on both sides of her head, she gulped as he pinned her with an intense stare. Sesshomaru leaned in closer. Kagome didn't know if she wanted to kiss or punch him with this proximity, his nose was barely a hair's breadth away from hers. Molten amber eyes pierced through her very soul. Her heart nearly stopped beating as she watched wet, crystalline tears fall down his pale cheeks.
For the first time in her life, Kagome saw everything. Every emotion, every turmoil he felt, and every ounce of relief that rolled off of him as he absorbed her presence. Stupidly, her mouth opened and closed as she could not find any words to speak to better the situation. Kagome was trapped in his sorrowful gaze.
"You're as beautiful as the day I lost you," he whispered to her. Kagome's mind went blank as his arms pulled her into an embrace. It was uncomfortable, the metal spikes of his armor were not kind against her cheek. Warmth spread through her at the tightness in which he held her. Her brain stuttered to make sense of the situation. First, he was showing emotions to her and now he was hugging her. What the hell was happening?
Before Kagome could respond, a clawed finger hooked under her chin pulling her into a searing kiss. His mouth was warmly caressed against her own; it was better than she had ever dreamed it would feel. Through the last couple of years, she had many dreams about him, both chaste and deeply passionate. Many nights she tried to imagine what a future with him would look like, what his lips against hers would do to her. This deep-seated regard for the daiyoukai haunted her ever since they became actual friends.
Boldly, she brushed her tongue against his bottom lip. A low growl rumbled from the daiyoukai with the action and he dominated her mouth with his. Within this kiss, time didn't exist and Kagome was okay with that. Her body thrummed with passionate electricity, a taste of him wasn't enough to quench her thirst. Sesshomaru parted the kiss with a smirk. Kagome's eyes fluttered open as he pulled away from her, her cheeks burning red with a flustering mess of emotions.
"Let's go home, Kagome," Sesshomaru said pulling her hand into his.
Behind them, Rin and Kohaku shared a cherry red flush after they bore witness to their affectionate display. It was profoundly awkward for them until Jaken opened his mouth. The outcry of his lord being with a human woman caused quite a tantrum from the imp until he was promptly silenced by the glares of both daiyoukai and miko. Rin watched as the two stood side by side. Kagome smiled, bigger and brighter than she had in years.
When they finally broke to the surface there was a unanimous breath of relief. It was finally over and they could go home. As they left the forest, light peeked through the speckled canopy. Once fully in the light of day, Kagome breathed in the fresh air of her new path. Threading her fingers with Sesshomaru's, she flashed him an incandescent smile. A slight quirk of his mouth showed his joy in his unique way. The possibilities of their life future were endless, but they would be inexplicably happy.
After all, love always answers calls for the dancing and the dreaming.
The End.
A/N: A big, lovely thank you to everyone who took the time to read, review, and/or love this story. I hope you have enjoyed, much love to y'all.