Chapter Twenty-Two: I Will Carry You Across

Lena tip toed down the stairs early the next morning to find Kara at the dining room table yet again with her nose stuck in the beaten, leather-bound expense ledger that made the ranch possible. Her blonde hair was wild and was badly in need of a brush run through it. The last step on the staircase creaked quietly as small feet took their leave of it.

Kara turned her eyes upwards at the raven-haired woman meandering toward her as she rubbed the last remaining bits of sleep from her eyes. Lena was always a sight to behold in the mornings. Even just in one of Kara's baseball shirts which fit rather loosely on her and billowed at its hem at the tops of her thighs, the blonde simply regarded her as an angelic being who floated gracefully from room to room of the century old home. Truly, she was a blessing in disguise, bound in human form. Kara smiled briefly at her and dropped her gaze back down to the lined pages that rest between her elbows.

Warm, still half-asleep hands met the tops of her shoulders then as Lena glided around the back of her chair and pressed a small kiss onto the top of her head. "Good morning."

The words were soft and chimed melodically together. Whenever Lena first uttered words each morning, her voice seemed to pitch lower and was drenched with tones fit for opera. However on this particular morning, Kara's head was too busy swimming with the many invoices and expense lists that lay in front of her, among other subjects of dread and stress. Her mouth expressed the bitter desire to run away with itself with something along the lines of "Ain't nothin' good about it"—but the blonde knew that much would taste a lie. Any morning where a half-naked Lena Luthor blessed her line of sight was indeed a good morning.

The chair she sat in scooted back with a dull scrape as Kara took the smaller woman by the waist with the full length of her arm, scooping her into her lap. Lena's hand went to cup her cheek and brought her chin up to capture her gaze. It was a silent "let me look at you" that was more to the tune of "let me look inside of you" which Kara had grown accustomed to. Lena was a caretaker, through and through.

Thank you, God, for this woman…

Once satisfied, Lena hummed a flat note at the back of her throat and kissed the tip of Kara's nose. The bags under her eyes must have lessened with the restful—and quite frankly earned—amount of sleep which she had caught up recently.

"Good morning." The blonde finally replied. She stretched her shoulders with a deep breath in through her nose and did her best to exhale the lingering anxieties from her frustrated ruminating over the ledger's balance, but some managed to remain like always. It taunted her in the form of a slight pressure just behind her nose. Somehow, "stress" and "worry" were things which Kara could taste, as they left bitter, metallic notes of impending doom at the back of her tongue; A constant reminder of the dark cloud that hung above her head.

"How long have you been staring at this?" Lena asked softly, teasing her fingers in and out of the ledger's pages.

An audible sigh rumbled its way out of the blonde. "Since before the sun."

Lena tucked her knees further, wriggling to situate herself comfortably into Kara's lap. "I'd like to take a look, if that's alright." The patient glimmer in her eye drove a nail into the blonde's heart and with it a reminder that Lena did only just wish to help.

Kara merely waved her hand outwardly with a flourish as if to say, "Go ahead". She was beyond weary of looking at it anyway and quite frankly, she would rather watch water fucking boil.

The raven-haired woman turned her attention back to the book and flipped one page after another forward, then thumbed back through them one at a time. They stayed like that for long enough until Kara was abruptly pulled out of her approaching sleep with the feeling that she was falling from a great height. Her head rocked forward with a quiet and quick jerk, sending a jolt throughout the woman curled up in her lap.

"Kara…" Lena began as she twisted back and leaned into the blonde. "I wish you would let me help. You're so tired, baby."

"I know." Kara responded, her hand rubbing small, tight circles at Lena's lower back. "Everything'll be alright. I promise."

Lena slowly nosed her way toward Kara's neck where she breathed her in and nearly melted with the natural, perfumed scent of her. Kara smelled like oats, and maybe honey. What lived on her skin was a warm, rich, and earthy scent akin to straw, but also sweet like molasses.

With a heavy exhale, Lena stretched her arms out toward the table to gather the large book into her hands and brought it over her knees with a -knock- and into her lap. "What if I help with…" She trilled a hum behind lips that she had momentarily sucked into her teeth, and then released them with a small -pop-. "These three?" Her pointer finger tapped on three line items under expenses. "That way you can run flush for the month, April wouldn't have to be a loss."

Kara huffed a loud breath in surprise, tossing her brow upward. "You did all of that in your head again just now, didn't you?"

In the place of an answer, Lena smiled big enough to dimple her cheek and fluttered her eyelashes at the blonde.

Lord… She even makes math sexy.

"Let me think on it. C'mon—" Kara said with a small pat on Lena's backside. "We need to head out soon."

Lena climbed to her feet and stood back up, gripping her elbows and stretching her arms above her head with a pleased groan. The bottom of her shirt danced over the tops of her hip bones and revealed black cotton panties with a tiny white ribboned bow sewn on the front. A warmth flooded Kara's abdomen and filled out all the way to her extremities. How exactly did this angel get in my house? The blonde mused to herself quietly. And does she know how hard it is to not fall and weep at the sight of her? Her hands went to Lena's thighs and ran them smoothly up and down, making Lena shiver at the tail end of her stretch with a soft "Mmm."

"We can also save water and shower together." Kara mentioned with a suggestive tilt of one eyebrow up at the dark-haired woman.

Lena laughed. "You seem to forget how long our showers take."

"So, remind me then. Screw the water bill."

Those long and blissful moments spent under warm running water seemed to ease some of the tension out of Kara's shoulders, but as soon as she stepped out of the steam and back into reality, it all came flooding back. These were small reprieves, mere blips in the looming string of events which hung over her head like a film strip, burned at its edges for dramatic value. The weight of it all had become too much too quickly. Eliza, the ranch, Morgan Edge, and the constant reminder of all of it biting at her heels every time she set foot in that house… Memories of New York were too far in the rear view to bring her any calmness, as was often her brain's habit of searching for a light in the darkness. Her only remaining respite was Lena, who currently stood just outside of the bedroom closet with a hand latched onto the frame of the door. She bent slightly to pull a zipper up the side of one of her knee-high boots, her damp hair shimmering dark and beautiful where it hung over a shoulder.

Kara was suddenly struck with the urge to bolt forward. Nothing had felt more imperative before in her life than to quickly move across the room and take Lena up in her arms one more time. It took the slightly smaller woman by surprise, but something inside of Kara needed to come out before it ripped her to shreds. Whatever control valve that regulated the blonde's flow of outward emotions had clearly broken, because what came spilling out of her was sheer panic.

"Babe…" Lena leaned her head away. Kara's eyes were shifting back and forth hurriedly between her own. "Are you alright?"

"No." Kara replied without a drop of hesitation. "I'm scared." The words began to tumble out of her one at a time, unrestricted. "I can't do this..."

"That wouldn't happen to be 'this' as in the general sense, would it? Or are you talking about 'this'… as in us?" Lena asked as she gestured a hand back and forth between them.

Kara shook her head vigorously. "Not us… Not you." She replied, pulling Lena closer. A hand wrapped around the taut rope that was one of her triceps then, anchoring her against the squall which threatened to snatch her breath away. It worked, and the rapid rise and fall of Kara's chest began to slow.

Physical touch and the affections that often came with them had been more or less withheld from Kara's childhood. If it hadn't been for Alex and her insistence on hugging and holding hands when they were young, a hand on her shoulder or the caress of her cheek might burn like fire. "Sisters hold each other up, let me in." Kara thanked the frayed thread of a memory as it disappeared back into the small vault of treasured things she held safely in her mind.

"You are all that I have left." Kara continued, "Everything else seems to be burning down around me but you're still here—"

"A stór…" Lena tilted her head back again to look Kara in the face. "I said that you wouldn't lose me. I meant it." Kara's chin quivered helplessly as she tried to contain wave after wave of whatever it was inside of her that was so desperate to break free. "Come here to me—" Lena said as she took Kara's chin between her thumb and forefinger, drawing her glistening blue eyes forward. "Say it and get it out of you. I will still be here when you've finished."

A single tear rolled its way out from the corner of Kara's eye. In her mind, this was a defining moment of "do or die". She had been able to trust Lena with everything else, even her most tender and unspoken insecurities. So, what was there to stop her now? Lena had withstood panic attack after panic attack and stared into the horror of Kara's past without so much as a blink, not to mention having been on the receiving end of the internalized trauma regarding her sexuality for a time. After all of that… will this be too much? The blonde thought to herself. Will saying it out loud be the thing that sends her packing?

In a brief moment of clarity, Kara wanted to kick herself. How could she not have faith in Lena after everything she went through to be there with her? Kara then set her jaw with a fierce determination and decided she would take that leap, come what may.

I'll do it, because I sure as hell refuse to die.

Shifting her feet with a sharp inhale, Kara allowed herself the space to let her fears escape the confines of her body. "I'm not ready to lose another mother." The breath that followed came out from her lungs in a gust as if it had been trapped there for years. "My sister is always so far away and has her own family now, and for some reason I feel like I can't talk to her anymore…" Her chest leaped to catch a sob. "But I am so sick of feeling like I've been trapped underneath everyone else's thumbs, like they get to pin me down and keep me right where they want me. I do what's asked of me because I don't know how else to feel love, other than when I'm being thanked for doing such a good job. I'm such a good girl, I couldn't possibly disappoint everyone by doing the things that make me happy, now could I? You are the only one—" Her rambling cut short for a moment to pull in another quick breath. "You are the only one who has ever loved me just as I am. I don't know where I would be without you."

"Kara, I can't explain how I love you- I just know that I do. Will you tell me what this is all about?" Lena asked.

Kara locked her eyes onto Lena's green and blue ones, the subtle difference between them shining vibrantly in the sunlight where it filtered through the bedroom window. "I'm… afraid I'll become too heavy. I don't want to crush you with the weight of all of this." She gestured vaguely, tossing her hands in the air around them. "The problem is that I do believe you whenever you tell me things like you're here to stay. That's a problem because I'd never be able to forgive myself if I squashed that little light that lives inside of you. How could I?"

Lena took her by the shoulders. "You won't." Then she pecked a kiss onto one of Kara's damp cheeks. "You will know how strong I am when we come out on the other side. Together." With a relieved sigh, Lena rested her temple softly against Kara's jaw to whisper, "...and if it comes down to it, I will carry you across."

The tightness in Kara's chest grew with every step she took toward the hospital front doors. Lena's fingers entwined with her own as they made their way through a maze of hallways to Eliza's room, both of them knowing that what awaited them had the full potential to rock their worlds yet again. It could be fine, though, right? Kara tried reasoning with herself quietly. As soon as they found their way and entered the room, Kara laid her eyes on her sister who hung her head at the foot of their mother's bed. A familiar sight, one which punched a hole through the blonde's heart.

Eliza looked pale, and her cheeks gaunt. The closer Kara stepped, the darker and more sunken in her eyes seemed to appear. Her brow even seemed to be screwed tightly together as if she slept in pain or was anxiously dreaming. The sound of a heavy sigh through Alex's nose interrupted the dull ringing in Kara's ears then.

"She's been in and out all morning… I haven't gotten a word out of her." Alex admitted sullenly as Lena bent to hug her around the shoulders.

"What did the doctor say?" Kara asked, her voice wavering a bit. She wanted to vomit.

Alex simply shook her head. "Nothing good. I've been waiting for her to come back."

Lena took a moment then to look over the oldest Danvers sister with a heap of concern. "I'm guessing you've been here for a while, now?"

Alex paused, and then deflated slightly. "I couldn't sleep knowing she was here all by herself... Sam said over and over that I should just come up here and be with her, but damn it to hell if I'm not torn in two. My wife—" Alex's hands shook in her lap and her voice trailed off despondently.

Kneeling down, Lena pulled her into another hug. "I'll go and keep her company for you."

Alex nodded her chin on Lena's shoulder and whispered, "Thank you."

The dark-haired woman stood and murmured a small goodbye to Kara, giving her an extra-long look in her eyes just to be sure. "You'll be alright?"

"I'll be fine." Kara replied, but as soon as Lena's back turned to her, she suddenly reached out and caught her by the wrist. Lena's eyes whirled around to look at her attentively. "…I love you."

"I love you too. Call me if you need me, okay?" Lena said and then pressed a kiss to her lips.

An hour passed before a pair of nurses came in.

They checked Eliza's vitals and typed notes into a computer as they moved back and forth in the room. Alex asked again for when the doctor might return with an update, to which one of them reassured her that it wouldn't be too much longer. Admittedly, it did little to ease their anxiety. Kara thanked the nurse and soon they were both left alone again to sit in silence and shift uncomfortably in their seats. As time seemed to drag on by the minute, the sisters moved like pendulums toward and away from the bed, taking turns to pace a burning track in the room and squeezing their mother's hands in the hopes that her eyes may open again.

Time was cruel with its slowness. How on earth three hours could feel like six, Kara would never understand, though in that time she had become very aware of her surroundings. The pale and sickening color of the walls and dusty ceiling tiles, the ugly poured flooring, the stiff chairs, stark white linens, and the painfully bright fluorescent lighting which unfortunately had no dimming function on their switch by the door… All of it made Kara's head pound like a drum when finally, a faint knock at the door broke her out of her gloomy stupor.

Alex nearly ran to open it. A woman with a dark blue hospital coat stepped into the room, clipboard in hand. Without skipping a beat, she began speaking. "Okay, so we've got some results back." Her eyes shifted and fixed on Kara. The woman stuck out her hand. "Hello, I'm—"

Kara managed to move an arm forward and shake her hand but failed to hear the rest of the woman's greeting. She clenched her jaw hard in an effort to focus her derailed trainwreck of a mind. When the doctor began to speak again, she pushed all of the chaos swimming in between her ears to a small corner and concentrated with every fiber of her being.

"Chest x-rays and bloodwork show signs of infection in both lungs. Compared with what we got back earlier this morning, I'm not seeing any signs of improvement." She explained and pulled a stethoscope from around her neck to shift it patiently against Eliza's chest several times, listening intently. "I'm going to order some oxygen and a breathing treatment to make her more comfortable. Someone will be by to administer another intravenous dose of antibiotics and I'll be back around this afternoon to check in again." The doctor's eyes flashed back up toward the sisters as she looped the device back over her head habitually. "She was diagnosed late last year with rapid onset dementia?"

Both Alex and Kara nodded wordlessly.

The doctor motioned with a hand toward the chairs against a wall of the room across from the bed and then pulled a small rolling stool out from under a counter with her foot. She sat with them calmly and folded her hands. "This is perhaps the hardest thing you're both going to hear today, so before I continue, I need you to do me a favor and try to understand that what's happening to your mother is something that everyone here is concerned with. Okay?"

Kara's hand shot out to grab at her sister, who swallowed hard and mouthed an "Okay" back at the doctor. The blonde merely nodded, unable to speak.

"With cases like your mom's, the disease is aggressive and can progress quickly. We still don't have a lot of answers as to why some dementia diagnoses can last years while others last only a few months, but it looks like Eliza falls into the latter category. Sometimes we can come up with a more specific diagnosis, but I'm going to be honest with you; It would bring you little comfort. Her immune system is pretty much decimated. I can't say with any amount of certainty that she will recover. We can of course be hopeful, but I think you should also prepare yourselves for what lay ahead."

"She's dying?" Alex voice was a squeak.

"I'm sorry." The doctor nodded. Then she stood and left to give the sisters the space they needed to process.

As soon as the door shut in its frame behind her, Alex's pressurized anguish finally burst out of her. Her wailing echoed off the bare walls and low ceiling as she rocked sideways in Kara's arms, falling to the floor with her.

They cried for hours.

Lena had arrived at Sam and Alex's house earlier that day with a heavy heart. She wanted so badly to help, or to somehow slow the revolving door of suffering that was buried deep inside of the woman she loved. None of it was fair, and none of it seemed to lessen as time went on. It felt like all she had been doing was spectating, merely watching the darkness grow once again inside of Kara. She witnessed that inner struggle behind the blonde's weary eyes almost every time she looked into them lately. The few fleeting moments that visible despair seemed to be gone from those glowing blue orbs were directly after a release, when they were naked and trembling against one other. That seemed to be something she could give to Kara, but it paled in comparison to the dragging, hollow expanse that was the rest of each day.

When Sam opened the door, Lena did her best to smile. Sam, seeing right through it, said nothing as she scooped Lena into the house by her arms to hug her tightly. They stood there and swayed for a long moment until something bumped against Lena's stomach, making her jump slightly. Sam laughed and took a step backward.

As if seeing her with fresh eyes, it became apparent yet again that Sam was very pregnant. Lena's heart lifted when the happy realization struck her again that her best friend would be welcoming a child into the world soon. The brunette held the underside of her belly and took a moment to smile at Lena. "Soon she'll be kicking me from the outside instead of the inside."

Lena cracked a laugh at that. "I'm sure it will take much longer than that for her to start rebelling, if she ever does. It's kind of hard to not like you, if you haven't noticed."

Sam rolled her eyes playfully. "She is Alex's after all, 'rebel' is in her blood." She paused to bend sideways once they reached the couch and lowered herself awkwardly down onto its cushions.

"Just imagine—" Lena began with a hopeful note. "What's better than a rebel mind and a lion heart?" She took the brunette's hand with a small squeeze. "The wain no doubt will have Alex's strong moral compass and the audacity to follow her true north, but she'll also have your nurturing. She's so, so lucky in that."

Lena then leaned back and clutched a pillow to her chest; A tell-tale sign to Sam that her former college roommate was riddled with stress. It was either bubble baths so hot that lava itself wouldn't go near it, or pillow hugging.

"What's the matter?" The brunette asked.

Lena shrugged. "It's just…" She trailed off for a moment with a sigh. "Oh Sam, I'm worried. Kara is headed towards a crossroads, and I don't know if I can convince her to take me with her- whichever direction she chooses to go in."

"Listen—" Sam began, scooting even more awkwardly on her hips to bring herself closer. "I hate the word, but they can be difficult, babe. You wouldn't believe how many times Alex tried to make me leave her after everything that happened when we first got together. She was the one who took a bullet, but all she could think about was keeping me safe, and the only way she thought she could do that was to get away from me. Don't let Kara do that." The brunette perked up with a thought then. "Hey, I know something that will cheer you up."

Lena lifted her brow quizzically for a moment.

"We picked out a name." Sam's voice dripped with pride.

"You did?" Lena asked, definitely feeling less down in the dumps now. "Let's hear it, then."

"Ruby."

Lena smiled. "Beautiful. And—" She bounced a finger in the air. "The second hardest gem to diamonds, no less. Seems fitting, having you two as mothers. She'll be tough."

"And smart." Sam added.

The raven-haired woman agreed with a stiff nod. "A deadly combo."

Kara was standing next to the head of Eliza's bed, combing small wisps of silver and blonde across her mother's forehead with her fingers. The sisters had spent most of the day dwelling on the news that their mother may soon be gone, but the Danvers matriarch had remained asleep all except for a small ten or so minute period where she awoke bewildered and unable to recognize either of her daughters. Sedated and slumbering once more, Kara remained silent at her bedside, listening to the dry whisper of a wheeze scrape its way in and out of her.

Alex's voice nearly startled her from across the room. "What if you just moved to Austin?"

Kara shook her head in surprise as if to rattle the question directly back out of her ears. "Are you serious?"

"What makes you think I'm not?"

"Just… sell the ranch?

"Why not?"

Kara scowled at her sister and turned her head back toward Eliza's sleeping form.

This again…

She massaged over the knuckles of one of her hands absentmindedly as the storm brewed within her mind. "I can't believe you would just throw everything away like that." The blonde replied finally.

"That's not what I want, Kara—"

"Then how could you even ask me that?" She spun her shoulders back at her sister, spitting her words like fire. Alex paused and her expression darkened.

"That's not what I want."

"Then what do you want, Alex?"

"I want you to be happy!"

Her sister had shouted, and the look that sprang upon her face was one of regret. Alex clapped a hand over her mouth and stilled herself in her chair, shaking her head. Then she stood and began to pace along the furthest wall of the room. "What about it makes you think it would be so damn impossible, hm? Do you think selling and moving on with your life would be too dastardly of a deed? What makes you think that would be so unforgiveable?" Alex piped the questions one after the other at Kara with her hands on her hips, finishing with an agitated tilt of her head.

Kara threw her hands into the air. "I just can't believe you would have me sell our childhood home to that- to that man who robbed me of nearly every single ounce of safety and security I had for most of my life."

"For most of your life." Her sister parroted back at her.

Kara snapped her head again toward Alex and furrowed her brow.

"You have Lena. You have a chance, Kara… to get out. Like I did. You deserve to be free." Alex crossed her arms and stood her ground. "I want you to be happy and I want you to be free of that place. I never said anything before because I didn't think you'd hear it, but you're an adult now and you have been for a lot longer than I'd like to admit. That's my fault, you grew up too damn fast." She stopped abruptly and then shook her head. "Kara, that place is too small for a heart as big as yours. This is your chance…."

"She's not some magic ticket I can use to escape all of my problems." The blonde fired back.

"I don't mean to say that she is, but aren't you the least bit interested in a better life for yourself…? With someone that you love?" Alex asked, narrowing her eyes at her sister. "My wife wasn't a magic ticket, either. She's carrying our daughter now. That's a future."

"What am I supposed to do right now, Alex? You want me to take away the only thing Mama has ever known… What if she gets better and I can turn everything around?"

"Kara…" Alex tried.

"No! Stop! I asked you- What do you want me to do right now?"

"I want you to consider it. Just think about it."

Kara grinded her teeth, quelling her frustration with a growl. Then she tossed her head dismissively at her sister. "I won't not think about it now, thanks to you." The blonde muttered under her breath just loud enough for her sister to hear, which earned an almost whimsical sputter of breath back at her.

"The whole point Kara. The whole point."

Lena felt the blonde lying beside her flip over for perhaps what was the tenth time since they had pulled the strings on their bedside lamps in the guest room of Alex and Sam's house that night. This time, she had flopped over to face Lena again which now left them just an inch apart. A tired sigh fell against her cheek then, and she knew that Lena was awake.

"Can't sleep either?" Kara asked sheepishly, also now aware of how her stressful gymnastics might not have allowed the other woman in the bed with her to get any rest at all.

Lena found Kara's question to be one she had too many replies for. Her mind flitted from, "I wish you would talk to me" to "Are you alright?" to "Not when you're thrashin' about like you're baytin the devil himself." Eventually, she landed on the first one.

"Talk to me…" Lena whispered, placing the flat of her hand along the edge of Kara's jaw.

Kara's eyes bounced back to Lena's. They had been mapping the dark lines of shadows that revealed Lena's face in front of her own as her eyes adjusted to the darkness of the room. "I just…" The blonde stopped and then scooted closer, comfortably slotting a knee between Lena's legs and pulling her closer by the small of her back. "I've been thinking."

"About what?" Lena asked as she lovingly traced the edge of Kara's jaw with the tip of a finger.

"The future." Kara admitted and kissed the space between Lena's eyes. "…and the past."

It had become clear to her that every time she thought about the ranch throughout the day, a chill would set into her bones. The house she grew up in had become too crowded, what with all of the ghosts she had no choice but to share it with. There were too many memories, and not all of them good. Kara knew she'd never be able to outrun them while living there. They were ingrained into the walls and soaked right down into the wood. That house was a wound which would never heal so long as she was there inside of it, holding it open.

"What if we just… ran away?" Kara asked as she blinked through her agony, refocusing her gaze on the woman lying in her arms. Without being able to properly visualize Lena's puzzled brow, Kara knew it from the abrupt movement her head made with that unmistakable tilt.

"What do you mean?" The dark-haired woman asked. There was a long pause between them until Lena fidgeted closer on her side and reached out once again to alight the palm of her hand on Kara's cheek. "Please, what is going on inside that head of yours?"

Finally the blonde shifted an inch and exhaled a held breath. "I don't know what to do." Kara answered, barely a whisper.

Lena knew that it was futile to try and dig any more specifics out from under the cover of vagaries that Kara chose to hide behind. She also knew well enough by now that Kara wanted to always use the right words and feared being misunderstood above all. So, Lena went with what she was given. "What do you want to do?"

Another pause. "Something that might make me sad for a little while, but potentially happy for much, much longer." Kara said and then wriggled her chin into the crook of Lena's neck where she felt safest.

Lena sighed contentedly, stroking her fingers through golden blonde waves. "It sounds to me like you've got it all figured out then."

Suddenly, the sound of a car starting came from just outside the window of the guest bedroom. Kara rolled quickly to pull the string at the lamp on her side of the bed. The blonde could only assume that her sister was headed back to the hospital. It seemed that nobody was sleeping much that night. She turned around again to look down at the raven-haired woman, who simply gestured with a toss of her chin toward the window.

"Go." Lena said with a reassuring voice.

Kara hesitated.

"Go." Lena repeated. "It's okay."

The blonde bent down and brought their lips together with a soft kiss that lingered almost long enough to make her want to climb back under the sheets with the other woman, but the pulling at the back of her brain screamed louder for her feet to move.

A moment later she leaped upward with a push from her arms against the mattress and jumped into her sweatpants, making sure to grab her tennis shoes on her way out of the house in a hurried jog.

Seconds later, Lena heard her voice from the driveway outside, "Alex, wait."

Neither sister left their mother's side much after that first night. Eliza struggled to make sense of her surroundings each time she woke, but ultimately remained dormant in her sleep for most of each day. She had spells of consciousness that lasted anywhere from twenty to thirty minutes, but quickly deflated each time as her energy level just could not sustain her for longer periods than that. She happened to smile at Alex one morning upon opening her eyes, but still offered no semblance of verbal communication. She seemed comfortable enough, when she wasn't hacking or wheezing to pull in one tired breath after another. She just looks so tired… Kara thought.

Another day passed before Eliza ceased to wake on her own. Her oxygen saturation was still satisfactory enough to bypass the use of a ventilator, "for now" they were told. What time Kara thought crawled now eked even more slowly as seconds passed into minutes, which passed into hours.

Lena made frequent trips back and forth between the hospital and Alex and Sam's house just on the other side of town bringing food, changes of clothes and various comforts in whatever forms she could find. Having now found a moment of stillness, the raven-haired woman stood at the kitchen counter staring at two slices of bread with a blank expression. For the first time in days, her head was empty. Her palms pressed heavily into the countertop when Sam swung the door to the fridge open just behind her. Elbowing the door shut with a jar of jalapeños in one hand, the brunette swiped a jar of peanut butter off the counter with the other.

Lena turned her gaze to the items in Sam's hands and dropped her mouth open in horror. "You cannot be serious."

Sam clutched the items to her chest protectively. "When your pregnancy hormones tell you that jalapeños and peanut butter go together, you'll understand."

"No, love. I don't think a single part of my body would ever tell me anything like that, pregnant or not." Lena laughed the last half of her statement in disbelief.

Sam twisted off the lid of the peanut butter jar that was tucked into the nook of an elbow and then jabbed a pepper out toward Lena. "I dare you."

Lena's eyes went wide. "What?" She glanced down at the pepper then. "Oh, no. No no no." She waved her hands vigorously out in front of her.

"Do it and Alex can get rid of that parking ticket you got in Kara's truck that you weren't going to tell anyone about, but since I'm your best friend I just happen know these things."

Lena narrowed her eyes into daggers at her.

"Okay, I found it when I was looking for a lip balm in your clutch. I'm telling you… This kid robs me of every ounce of moisture in my skin, it's horrif—"

"Fine." Lena huffed. A mischievous and familiar smile beamed back at her as she yanked the pepper out of the pregnant woman's hand. "For the record, I was going to pay it." Lena admitted bluntly.

"Now you don't have to. These are what we call perks of being married to the shield." Sam sing-songed victoriously.

Lena's playful scowl twisted tighter on her face. Readying herself, they each scooped the pointed end of their jalapeño peppers into the jar of creamy peanut butter and tapped them together. "Sláinte…" Lena said with a grimace, and then took a bite at the same time as Sam. One pleasing hum clashed with a disgusted groan.

"Oh- Jesus, Mary and Joseph—" Lena exclaimed from behind one of her hands.

"Woo! There's a circus happening in my mouth right now..." Sam said and resumed her eager chewing. "Mm…" Her forehead tightened, and she pursed her lips. "Necesito más picante- I have some serranos if you want to—"

Lena was two seconds from evacuating the contents of her mouth into the trash bin at the other end of the kitchen when she heard Sam groan. It was different than the previous menagerie of happy masticated hums and sounded almost pained. Lena darted her eyes toward Sam again just as a hand went to the underside of her very round belly. Then came another uncomfortable groan.

"Sam—"

The next sound to hit her ears was the wet drip against the tile at Sam's feet, and then a gasp. Frozen, they both stood there staring at the small puddle on the floor in shock and then brought their eyes back to one another.

"Is that…?" Lena began to ask what she already knew to be true. Suddenly another cry came from her best friend, this one now sounding more like a low, but very aware bellow. "Yep, we're going."

The door to Eliza's room shut on its hydraulic hinge firmly behind Kara as she stepped back inside. Her head had been absolutely swimming with stress and adding to it was the constant dread of the ranch falling behind without her there. Stables needed to be kept swept and bedded, horses and chickens needed to be fed, deliveries needed to be signed for… so many duties clouded her mind enough to where her twice a day phone call back home to Clark began to wear thin on her cousin's patience. Hank offered to take in hay and feed deliveries when he could while she was away and assured her that Clark was gentle enough with the horses. One bite from a particularly grumpy donkey on a neighboring farm when they were young had turned him sour to all creatures equine. He tolerated them, at best, and was admittedly more of a dog person.

"Dogs ain't got a mean bone in their body, and certainly don't bite you because they think it's funny." Kara chuckled to herself at the memory, and then went stiff. She hadn't felt what she recognized as humor in days which struck her in a way that made her feel guilty, in the way that it felt almost inappropriate to experience any kind of levity under the current circumstances.

Alex raised her chin from where it rested on her knee. She had tucked her legs up into the chair at the far corner of the room and was attempting to read her wife's latest mystery/thriller novel for the better part of an hour. Her mind however had not been calm enough to read more than two to three lines at a time. "What's so funny?" She asked.

Kara shook her head. "Nothing. I think I might be going crazy, though."

"Don't worry, pretty sure I'm right behind you."

Kara crossed the small room and sat in the chair next to her sister to slump back in it tiredly. "Thanks, I guess." Her despondent drawl trailed off just as a nurse tapped a quick knock on the door and leaned the top half of her body inside.

"Danvers?"

Both sisters faced the nurse in unison.

"Sorry- Mrs. Arias-Danvers?"

"That's me." Alex answered.

"You're being called to the labor and delivery wing? There's a Samanth—"

Alex was out of her chair and pulling the door open in seconds, breezing past the woman fast enough to startle her. "Everything's fine, don't worry!" The nurse called out to her as the sound of Alex's sprinting echoed down the hallway. Then her attention turned back to Kara. "Need anything, hun?"

"No, thank you. I'm gonna follow her in a minute, though. But with less running."

"Alrighty then." The nurse smiled and then shut the door with a quiet -click-. Kara rose from her chair then and sidled up to Eliza's resting form in the bed. She had lost count over the days of how many times she had gently squeezed her mother's hand. She did so again, only this time she gave her three in a row just like the secret code she shared with her sister.

I'll give her your love…

"I'll be back, Mama."

Ruby Arias-Danvers was born seven pounds and three ounces with dark feathery wisps of hair and olive skin. Sam's labor had not lasted far into the afternoon and contributed zero complications. Alex was immediately obsessed, and the hospital staff nearly had to peel her away from the infant to continue in their postnatal duties. Ruby cried very little and was content to be tightly swaddled and held by anyone.

A few hours later, a tiny reddish-tan hand wrapped firmly around the end of Kara's pointer finger from where she held Ruby carefully in the crook of her arm. Kara couldn't stop staring at her. She was so new and delicate and had absolutely no idea yet how many people already loved her. Ruby would grow up surrounded by strong women who would no doubt teach her about kindness and acceptance, as well as bestow upon her an abundance of patience for those who have neither. The future was bright for young Ruby, and the thought of it stirred a burning whirlwind behind Kara's ribs whenever it made her consider her own.

It took nearly thirty-six hours for Alex to wear down the attending nurse's iron-clad refusal to remove baby Ruby from the recovery section of labor and delivery, but after several attempts of groveling, begging, flattery and even bribery, she was able to spirit her newborn daughter across the hospital toward the ICU. Wild horses couldn't keep her away. She was, however, forbidden to enter Eliza's room with Ruby still in her arms, so she asked a nurse to open the blinds to the front of the room so that they could look in on her. Alex stood there with the newborn for almost an hour at the window watching for any sign that her mother would wake and be able to see the baby, but she didn't move. When Ruby began to cry, Alex walked her back across the hospital to Sam with a heavy heart.

The morning came when Sam and Ruby were finally ready to be discharged and sent home. Alex saw to it that everything had been arranged beforehand; clean sheets, a fully stocked fridge and Ruby's bassinet fully assembled and laying ready to receive her in their bedroom.

"Can we take a quick detour on our way out? It won't take long… I just want to try one more time—" Alex began to beg.

Sam smiled and nodded. "Of course. Let's go."

They came to stop just outside of Eliza's room and had the blinds to the window drawn up once again so Alex could present baby Ruby to her grandmother lying in the bed just on the other side. They stood for a long while looking in and quietly murmuring to one another before Kara decided to turn the handle to the door and step inside. From outside, Sam, Alex and Lena witnessed the blonde glide over to the woman in the bed and lean down to kiss her on her forehead. Eliza's eyes suddenly fluttered open, and Kara heard excited knocking on the window to the hallway outside. She looked up to see Alex mouthing a slew of inaudible words as she pointed toward their mother with wide eyes.

Kara looked back down and gasped. Eliza was staring through the window and smiling from ear to ear. Sam had baby Ruby tucked along the length of one of her forearms and was displaying her proudly, tears running down her face. A deep rattle from Eliza's chest came with a cough when she lifted a hand and tried to remove the oxygen mask from her face.

"It's alright, you can keep that on…" Kara whispered and helped her to place it back over her nose and mouth. "That's your granddaughter, Mama."

Eliza's hand settled flat on her chest as she did her best to clear her throat. "A girl." Her mother had finally managed to speak, and it sent Kara's heart skyward.

"Ruby."

"Ruby." Her mother echoed, and then closed her eyes. Moments later, her limbs went slack, and she was unconscious again.

Two more days went by without Eliza waking again. Kara thought it was a miracle that she even woke when she did when her entire family stood outside of her room that afternoon. But it seemed to have used the last of Eliza's reserves of energy and she began to fade shortly after. Kara and Alex both agonized over the decision to place their mother on a ventilator, to which they eventually conceded once it became clear that she required additional help to breathe. The day after, they were informed that Eliza had slipped into a coma. They were then approached with the inevitable conversation of unhooking her and letting her go peacefully. Alex originally balked at the mere mention of it, but after three more days of her and Kara both sitting and staring at her knowing that there was nothing more anyone could do, they made the most painful decision of a lifetime. Together.

Eliza passed surrounded by her family on the morning of the first day of May.

Kara, disconsolate for days afterward, cried herself to sleep until the night before her and Lena were set to travel back home. It was late, and she turned her swollen and weepy eyes up at the dark-haired woman lying in the bed with her, staring at her evenly for a long time. She had been short on words recently, but when she finally spoke, her words had been carefully selected and carried a with them priceless sort of value. "I'm ready."

Lena loosened an arm from around the blonde and tucked her chin to look more directly into her eyes. Oh, how brilliantly blue those irises were in contrast to the red-tinted, white canvas they lay upon. They burned brightly into her, piercing her soul with every detached second of despair that came with them. Where Lena saw heartbreak, she also witnessed resilience and an undeniable strength that could make a one-ton bull stop full on in its tracks.

"I'm ready for everything." Kara continued. "Even though everything is gonna change now, I just—" She stopped to take one of Lena's hands into her own and kissed the backs of her knuckles lightly. "…I need you to trust me."

Lena sighed. "More than anything."