Chapter 37
Nellie
Somewhere in the Atlantic
April 15, 1912

As the small lifeboat rocked from side to side, Nellie clutched onto Tommy for dear life. He faded in and out of consciousness and his breathing became increasingly more shallow, Nellie able to see it with her own eyes because of the cold air.

Nellie wasn't sure how many hours had passed since they had seen the Titanic disappear into the depths of the ocean. She had done her best to talk to Tommy despite his half-conscious state, desperate to drown out the screaming from those who had not been lucky enough to find a boat. Nellie had managed to black out the image of Isla, Callen, Leana, or Jock as one of those poor souls trapped out there in the open sea. It would drive her into madness and Tommy's words from earlier rang true. She needed to live for her children if they had managed to survive.

"Nellie?"

Her attention was drawn back to Tommy, whose head was resting in her lap. There was a good amount of seawater at the bottom of their small lifeboat, but the people aboard had managed to give them an entire thwart so Tommy could dry off. He was now wrapped in a warm blanket from someone who had been more prepared for tonight and the salt from the water had left his hair the curliest she'd ever seen.

"Yes?" she answered softly. It was eerily still around them, as many in the boat were either sleeping or silently praying.

"Is the ship here yet?"

She squinted towards the horizon. The sky was beginning to turn gray, signaling dawn was approaching. The only thing she could see were other lifeboats and wreckage near the sight of the sinking. She was sure the wreckage she was seeing was actually frozen bodies, but she dared not look any closer in fear of seeing someone she knew.

"Not yet," she whispered, "But the crewmen have reassured us it will be here soon."

Tommy quietly shook his head. Nellie wondered if he'd be able to hold on much longer. His entire body was cold. She kept his wrist in her hand beneath the blanket he was wrapped in, just so she could reassure herself that he had a pulse. But as the minutes had passed in this boat, it was growing so weak she could barely feel it.

"Tell me about your brother," Nellie said. "I can't believe you still have your pocket watch."

Tommy gave a weak smile. In the hand that wasn't holding Nellie's, Tommy had been clutching the small watch this entire time. "I couldn't leave it," he said. "I've already left my entire life behind in Ireland. This is the only thing I have to remember it by."

"Was your brother like you?" she asked. Their voices seemed to be the only ones they could hear. There was one lone lifeboat rowing among the wreckage, looking for survivors. The rest of the lifeboats were like theirs: still and praying for the sighting of a ship on the horizon.

"He was much more level headed," Tommy said. "Something I should have learned. My temper seems to be what's gotten me in trouble throughout most of my life."

"Would he have moved to Boston?" she asked.

Tommy was quiet for a moment. "I'm not sure. I think if he saw how oppressive the English had become, perhaps. But he was very passionate about home rule. It was in my family's blood. We sacrifice everything for our homeland."

He turned his head so he was now looking directly at her. "You must promise me to give this watch to my cousin in Boston," he said. "Their names and addresses are written inside."

Nellie shook her head, aghast. "You can show it to them yourself," she said. "The ship will be here soon–"

Tommy placed the watch in her hand. "Just promise me," he said. "Don't make me worry about this right now."

She looked at the small, silver watch in her hand. She doubted it would work anymore as it had been submerged in the ocean with Tommy. But silent tears began to fall down her cheeks for what felt like the thousandth time that night. She had left her children to strangers and failed them as their mother.

"Nellie."

Tommy's voice sobered her. She wiped away the tears before shakily saying, "I will," tucking the watch into her wet skirts.

This seemed to comfort him, a small smile on his lips as he closed his eyes. The smile slowly slipped as his face went slack, his breathing so shallow she could barely see his chest rise and fall.

"Tommy?" she shook his shoulder, but got no response. The crewmen around her had comforted the women in the boat by saying those trapped in the water would have a peaceful death, as the coldness would lull them to sleep before they succumbed. Was this what was happening to Tommy?

"He won't wake up," she said to one in particular, her voice cracking as she turned to the women around her. They all had been deathly still, many of them so deep in their own grief they almost looked dead themselves. Many barely acknowledged she had said anything, but the crewman in charge came to her side and felt Tommy's pulse.

"He's just fallen asleep," he assured her. He looked up briefly, a joyous smile crossing his weary face. "He'll be alright, miss. We'll all be alright!"

Many in the boat began to shout, tearing off pieces of their clothes and wadding up loose pieces of paper. The lifeboat that had been searching for survivors had lifted its sail, a flare ignited from an officer who was frantically waving it back and forth.

Nellie's heart almost stopped and saw a large ocean liner in the distance, barely visible in the still dark sky.

They were safe.

They would soon be off of this tiny boat filled with water. She looked at the many lifeboats around them, squinting in the morning darkness to try and make out other's faces. She had heard several babies crying through the night and prayed one of them was Isla.

The liner blew her horn, breaking the somber silence and emitted cheers from the many survivors around her. Tommy was still sleeping, but as she stared at his chest that continued to rise and fall, she knew the crewman was right. He wasn't dead.

She felt for the pocket watch tucked in her skirts.

She'd give it back to him when he woke.