Episodes 4x12-4x13
"Growth"
The weeks following Gold's banishment made up one of the most peaceful and happy periods in Emma, Killian, and their friends' lives.
The biggest reason for this was the fact that each day was relatively normal. Even though they were still trying to recover from past crises and solve problems involving magic, there were no major threats or emergencies that had to be dealt with immediately. It was a refreshing change for people who had become used to jumping from one high-stakes adventure to the next. For the first time in a long time, they developed a sense of routine, and it was all the more pleasant because they were with the people they loved.
Snow White surprised everyone by announcing her resignation as mayor. She had never intended to have that role, and found it quite different from leading as a princess. She resumed working as a teacher, though only part-time now, since she wanted to have time to be at home with Neal. Granny and Ashley Boyd took turns caring for Neal while his parents and sister were working.
Regina was the only one who had held the position of mayor before, so she agreed to step back into it until the residents of Storybrooke could figure out what kind of government they wanted to have. Amazingly, there were no great protestations about this transition. Only Leroy was blunt enough to name the reason: everyone knew the real power behind City Hall was the Charming family, and if they wanted to entrust the day-to-day business to Regina, that was fine with everyone else.
Emma and Regina's relationship finally seemed free of competition, less like a rivalry and more like an alliance. Sometimes it even felt like a friendship, even though neither of them would have said so out loud. They accepted the other's presence in Henry's life and were amicable about sharing custody of him. Having both of his mothers, and seeing them get along, made Henry happier than he had ever been in his life.
Ironically, out of the three mothers in this strange family, Regina was the only one of them who had never given birth, yet also the only one with experience caring for a newborn. While Snow had learned much from this world's books and Ashley's mother-baby group, Regina was the first person she tended to call when she had a question about caring for Neal. On the occasions when Regina joined the family for a meal (usually at Henry's request), she would casually observe and give advice on how they interacted with the baby. She was critical, but not unkind, and Snow welcomed her input.
When he was not helping Snow with the baby, David continued to help Emma run the sheriff's department. He also deputized and began training some of the dwarves, so they could help share the workload and fill in if the father and daughter were ever unavailable. David was the one who had the idea, but Emma later admitted that she should have had some kind of backup or system in place sooner. She had been hired as Graham's deputy, but had not hired anyone to assist her when she became sheriff. Finding trustworthy colleagues had seemed unlikely, and having vacation time had seemed unimportant, until she had her family and a circle of friends in her life.
Emma split her workday between her duties as sheriff and helping Regina and Henry search for the author of the storybook. She spent her free time hanging out with her family and Killian.
Each morning Killian would pick up coffee for Emma and himself, then walk with her part of the way to their respective workplaces. He would join Belle in her research at the library while Emma continued onward to the sheriff's station.
Killian was initially apprehensive about working with Belle. He was immeasurably grateful to her for saving his life, but he worried that his presence would be an unpleasant reminder of what she had lost because of him.
To his surprise, Belle treated him like any other of her friends, with warmth and kindness. She approached their task of finding a way to free the fairies with professionalism and good cheer. She acknowledged how she was feeling when asked, but then she would set aside her emotions to focus on fact-finding.
The one downside to working at the library was that Belle would not allow the consumption of liquor there. But sometimes she brought a treat to share with Killian.
When he related all this to Emma early in their research, he asked whether she had a problem with him spending so much time with another woman.
Emma merely shrugged. "I trust you, and her." She cocked her head as she studied him. "You haven't had many friends, have you? As in, people who don't work for you and aren't trying to get something from you."
Killian thought about this, and had to shake his head. "I suppose not."
"Well, it sounds like you and Belle are becoming friends. Which is fine by me. You both could use some more."
In addition to their research, Belle had her hands full running both the pawnshop and the library. As a result, there were days when Killian was left to his own devices, scouring books, translating texts, taking notes, and rearranging items on the bulletin board. Other times, Leroy would join in the work—apparently he was friends with Belle and had connections with some of the fairies.
Most days, Emma would come by the library at midday, and she and Killian would go out for lunch. They often ate at Granny's diner, but sometimes they got takeout, or packed up a picnic, and ate their meal by the pond or the docks. Seeing each other, even briefly, lifted their spirits and renewed their energy before they returned to work. In the evenings they might go on a proper date.
As they spent more time together, they finally opened up about their histories. Killian recounted exactly what transpired between him, Rumplestiltskin, and Milah. Emma revealed more about what it had been like to grow up in the foster system. They spoke frankly and fondly about Baelfire. They understood that there were things they preferred not to think or talk about, so they did not push each other; but they grew increasingly comfortable sharing more about themselves and their pasts with each other.
Emma was amazed to find that they felt, during this time, like a normal couple in a committed relationship. They got to know each other's likes and dislikes. They grew comfortable with both casual conversation and companionable silence. They could talk about serious things, or banter and joke around. Emma now laughed more openly than she used to. She no longer hid her feelings; in fact, she relished them. Especially where Killian was concerned.
Killian made her feel cared for, in a way different from Henry and her parents. He made her feel respected, in a way most other men she had dated never did. He made her feel wanted, in a way that had nothing to do with what she could give or do for him.
Neither of them said the word "love" out loud. Killian was more than ready to do so, but he let Emma set the pace of their relationship. She knew that he would wait until she said it first, and while she knew she was heading in that direction, she was not sure she was ready to admit it to him, or to other people. Right now, she simply wanted to enjoy the experience of falling into it.
Henry and Killian continued to spend time together, with or without Emma. Killian taught the boy about sailing, and Henry taught the pirate about the technology and popular culture of the Land Without Magic.
They did not speak of Baelfire much anymore, yet Henry seemed to enjoy their time together anyway. This was a great encouragement to Killian, suggesting that Henry liked him for his own sake, not just for his connection to Baelfire or Emma.
Henry did, however, want to talk about Rumplestiltskin after learning what had happened to Killian. He blamed himself for not noticing anything while working at the pawnshop.
"I didn't mean what I said, after the mirror shattered," Henry admitted, stuffing his hands in his pockets and looking slightly embarrassed. "I do like you, and I don't mind you and my mom being together."
"Do you?" Killian said, equal parts surprised and pleased.
"Yeah. I think you're good for her."
Killian smiled gratefully and clapped the boy on the back. "I appreciate that, Henry."
Henry looked hopeful, and still had a spark of mischief in his eye. "So, you're not mad about that booby-trap I set for you?"
He laughed. "No, no hard feelings."
Killian was frequently invited to have dinner with Emma and her family. He never turned down the opportunity to spend time with Emma, but it took him a while to feel fully at ease with her family in a casual setting, when necessity did not call for it. Initially, he felt like an intruder, inserting himself into the royals' long-awaited domestic happiness. But soon his presence became an almost expected circumstance. Snow even asked him about his food preferences so she and David could consider them while planning meals.
Neal's presence gave them plenty to talk about when awkwardness threatened to cloak Killian's visits. If he made the slightest offhand comment about the baby prince, Snow would launch into an explanation about what they had just learned or what they were trying to do with him. And if conversation waned, they could simply watch the baby as he played or made faces at them.
Killian had never been acquainted with anyone raising an infant, and Emma had never been with any foster family long enough to see a baby grow over time. They were taken aback by how rapidly Neal grew over just a few weeks. Regina brushed off their surprise, saying it was quite normal; but they saw her soften when she had a turn holding Neal. It was like seeing a glimpse of the mother she had been to Henry when he was an infant.
Regina explained that babies needed "tummy time" to develop their neck and shoulder muscles, so they could learn how to lift their heads, roll over, and eventually crawl. Snow, David, Emma, or Henry would sit next to Neal's blanket on the floor or the sofa, watching him while he lay on his stomach. They did not do much more than make sure he was breathing, smile at him, and sometimes dangle a toy in front of his face.
They were doing this during one of Killian and Regina's visits, when Snow suddenly asked, "Do you want to hold him?"
At first, Killian thought she was talking to someone else in the room; but when he glanced around, everyone was looking at him. "What, me?"
"Yes, you," Snow said with a little laugh.
Killian could not hide how shocked and apprehensive he was. Despite his unusually long life, he had never held a baby. He had never been in the company of someone who would have trusted him around their baby; he was a pirate, after all. He knew little about the way they behaved or the care they required.
But he supposed if he hoped to be part of Emma's family, he should get to know her brother, just as he had her other family members.
He looked to Snow for permission, and she nodded enthusiastically. David's only condition was that he remove his hook first. Unfortunately, Neal noticed the shiny object, and wanted to hold it when Killian unscrewed it. Regina solved the problem by conjuring a similarly shiny hook made of soft plastic instead of metal. While Neal was distracted with this toy, Snow helped Killian figure out how to hold the infant securely in his arms. Neal did not react much to his change in position.
"What do I do?" Killian asked blankly.
"You can talk to him," Snow said. "That's how they learn to speak. If he gets fussy, you can try bouncing or singing to him."
"Right." He cleared his throat and looked down at the infant, who turned his head toward the sound. "Hello there. I'm not sure you remember me. Name's Killian, but most folk call me Hook, which might be easier for you to say as you learn to speak."
Neal had only recently learned to focus his eyes, and now they met Killian's gaze. He made a cooing noise, and his mouth turned up in what might have been a smile, just for a moment.
"I think he likes you," David said with a crooked smile.
The conversation went on while Killian held the baby. When Neal started to whine, Killian bounced his weight, and started to sing softly. "Fifteen men and a dead man's chest, yo-ho, yo-ho, and a bottle of rum …"
Emma found herself listening to the song more than to the rest of her family's chatter.
The thought of having more children after Henry had never crossed Emma's mind, but seeing Killian hold the baby, Emma found that the idea was not as impossible or ridiculous as it might have once been.
Killian was not perfect, and he would be the first to acknowledge that he still had a dark side; but he also had a soft side, and Emma could see it more and more. If that was the side he chose to lean into, he would be a wonderful family man.
Regina had once tried to discourage Emma by telling her that she had no roots, and therefore could not grow. The same could have been said of Killian, who had lived a nomadic life at sea. But now they were both putting down roots in Storybrooke, investing their time in the community and building up their relationships.
Like Neal, they still had a lot of growing to do, but they seemed to be well on their way.
At least until the next crisis came.
Author's Notes
This chapter is my attempt to fill gaps and reconcile some inconsistencies in the series, such as Snow's return to teaching.
I've spent a lot of time with infants and young children, so I drew on that for writing about baby Neal. It is incredible to me that the show made such a big deal about his birth, but then shunts him to the side while his family keeps having adventures.