I'm back!

I'm so sorry I haven't updated this, I kind of forgot about it if I'm being honest. I don't know if anyone's reading this anymore, but if you are, please, comment/review or send me a PM. This chapter has a TW: depression.

Haley is pulled back into familiar darkness after Chris' news, but is there someone who might pull her out of it?

Chapter 6 - Hello Darkness my Old Friend

She must have fallen asleep, though she couldn't remember doing so. There was darkness all around her, which meant that she'd managed to make it up to their bedroom, again, she couldn't remember doing so. As she shifted in bed she groaned loudly, her body ached and she managed to sit herself up, she realized that she had a splitting headache. With the drapes drawn shut, she had no idea what time it was, but she knew there were only three days left till Christmas. Her gut clenched as she remembered the phone call last night. Chris was a lot of things, but Haley had truly not thought him capable of this, not now. This wasn't just any Christmas…

It must have been hours, but she had no idea, before she managed to get out of bed. On shaky legs she managed to make it downstairs. The clock in the kitchen let her know that it was afternoon already, not that she cared. She walked around the house aimlessly and despite the size of it, it felt way too small and suffocating. Opening the fridge, she knew that she should eat something, but her eyes went straight to the bottle of white wine. Without blinking she grabbed the bottle and walked out to the living room, settling herself on the couch. After a few gulps, she started to feel a bit better, the familiar warmth was spreading through her chest. After half the bottle, hot tears were streaming freely down her cheeks. Was this karma? There were enough similarities for it to not be. All those years ago, she'd left Nathan in the middle of the night, despite the fact that they'd been married. She'd done it to be true to herself, and she'd told herself back then that she was allowed to be selfish for once. Besides, music had been her passion and Chris had given her the chance of a lifetime. Haley had made up a bunch of excuses back then, like the fact that they were so young, and that they hadn't been married for that long, but the more she thought about it, the more she realized that Nathan must have been devastated. While sometimes presenting with a more hardened exterior, Haley had seen first hand how caring Nathan was. Now Chris was the one pursuing his music with someone else. Was he going to leave her, just like she'd left Nathan? A few months ago she wouldn't have been too surprised if he had, she had been in a dark place. The memories flashed before her eyes and with them, her crying escalated. She drank more, and the intrusive thoughts that she'd had months prior resurfaced, the ones that asked her what the point was anymore. The ones that told her that there was no moving on from this, that she'd always be broken inside. The ones that told her that everything would be better if she just gave up, the ones that promised her that the pain would ease up, if she just–

The thoughts were beginning to scare her, she'd gone through enough therapy since the last time the depression had almost swallowed her, to recognize that this wasn't good. Her eyes roamed the room and settled on their wedding photo.

"I can't stay here," she mumbled to herself.

She felt woozy and unstable as she got to her feet, which wasn't weird considering the amount of alcohol she'd consumed on an empty stomach. Haley managed to make it back up the stairs and headed toward the walk-in closet. The light switched on automatically as she opened the door and it took a while for her eyes to get used to the brightness. She grabbed her suitcase and opened it on the floor, then she began pulling down clothes from the shelves and hangers. Haley walked over to one of the sections where they kept their fancier clothes. Reaching out her hand, she touched the various silky and lavish fabrics. She came to a halt at a specific section of her closet, and grabbed a hold of one of the dresses. Lifting it up in front of her made her lips, despite everything, curl up into a small smile. It was a Brooke Davis original of course. Even if Brooke hated her, and hadn't been able to forgive her for what she'd done, Haley had never stopped being in awe of everything that was Brooke Davis. She was such a talented person, and it didn't surprise her one bit that she'd managed to create a fashion empire. She hung the dress back and retreated to her opened suitcase. She only packed the essentials, the rest, well, it could wait.

A few hours later Haley had showered, dressed herself and had some coffee and was feeling much better. Of course, that only lasted as long as she didn't stop to think for more than ten seconds; so keep moving, it was. She stopped at the door, and glanced back inside. Something told her this would be the last time she saw this place. Tears pricked her eyes, so she quickly closed the door behind her and locked it. The car service pulled up just as she'd walked down the driveway.

"The airport, please," she instructed and got herself comfortable in the backseat. Haley had no idea what she was doing exactly, she didn't have an airplane ticket, but she knew that she couldn't stay at the house for another second.

The airport was bustling with life this close to Christmas, everyone rushing to get to their near and dear ones. The realization that she wasn't tugged at her heart. Her eyes scanned the departures, where to? Quinn was in the States, but maybe she was spending time with David, and seeing as it was new, Haley didn't want to interfere. Her parents were in Hawaii and as tempting as a good book and the beach sounded, she had no desire to spend time with her parents on their romantic getaway. Considering her mother, Lydia would probably give her a detailed account of their love life. Who else was there?

"Hales?"

At the sound of that voice, she dropped her luggage. Tears filled her eyes before she even turned around.