1st November 1971

"I think Remus' mother is a werewolf."

James choked.

They were huddled shoulder to shoulder under the invisibility cloak making their way down the moonlit steps to the boathouse. It would be one of the last few mild nights before the Scottish winter ruined their outdoor nighttime escapades, and so the boys had prepared a 'Send-off to the Summer' with pocket-fulls of thieved treats and the promise of a secret from Sirius.

James had not been expecting something so out-of-the-blue. He stopped on the stairs and looked up at his friend's shadowy face. Despite them being under the cloak together, Sirius managed to avoid his gaze. His mouth was a hard line.

James wasn't foolish enough to think that this was the kind of discussion he could attack with his usual carefree and blunt attitude. Sirius had been contemplative and withdrawn for a few days and had been notably avoiding the topic of Remus' mysterious disappearances. James had assumed it was to do with his odd stance on keeping secrets, but it seemed he had been coming up with his own theories.

"Let's get down to the boathouse. Then we can talk properly."

James pretended not to notice Sirius' nervous glance down at him before they resumed their descent, picking up the pace a little.

On this side of Hogwarts' lake a student could be fooled into thinking they were alone in the world. But for the steep stone staircase, tiny old boathouse and brutally high castle wall, there was no hint of civilisation. Just a vast expanse of dark, still water. The night was breezeless. Across the water, James knew Hogsmede station wasn't far, but it was invisible from where they sat. All that the far bank promised were mountainous, lonely highlands.

A small stone dock, sheltered from even the highest castle windows, gave them a place to safely step out from James' cloak. He folded it roughly into a parcel and placed it on the ground for them to comfortably sit on while they emptied their pockets into their laps. They would have been an odd sight – pyjama-clad with their school jackets over the top for warmth, sitting on an invisible cushion looking out into the highlands.

"So, where's this come from?" James didn't look at his friend. Sirius, he'd learned, had a knack for avoiding eye-contact in difficult conversation – particularly when he was deep in thought. James knew that his intense attentiveness sometimes put him off broaching certain topics at all.

With a rustle, Sirius pulled a page of newspaper from his pyjama pocket and carefully unfolded it for James to see. He squinted in the dim light and read the headline and subheading aloud, before lighting his wand and skimming through the rest of the article muttering under his breath.

"That's grim. Is this the article you said your mother kept?"

Sirius nodded. "This is from the school archives, but it's the same article. Mother was enraged that he had seemed to soften his stance after the attack. She wrote him off as one of them, after that."

James didn't comment on Sirius' mother's attitude. He'd heard plenty of snippets over the last few months to have a read on her character and it wouldn't do any good to get into that discussion again now.

"Realistically, it could have been either of them," said James. "I mean, can a muggle even be a werewolf?"

"No." Sirius shook his head and pocketed the page. "It can't be Lyall. He would have lost his position. Werewolves aren't considered human, and therefore cannot work within the ministry. Muggles usually succumb to their wounds. As far as I understand, they're less "hardy" than wizards – though that could be just Mother's opinion. I think it's based in magic though. But his mother is married to a wizard and has access to healers. I think this would be new territory."

James picked apart a cold slice of quiche and considered. He supposed it was possible. After all, Remus had said his mother was ill, and as far as James could recall, based on his sloppy astronomy homework, he had gone to visit her over the full moon.

"But Remus has been away at times that aren't full moons." James pointed out. "Remember that night he was away last week?"

"Yes," Sirius conceded, "but he wasn't away long enough to have even gone home. He attended all classes then I ran into him in the early morning. He said he was in the hospital wing. There's no point in being home just overnight is there?"

"I dunno."

James considered his small family and wondered how life would have been different if one of his parents was attacked by a werewolf.

"It must have been terrifying. I wonder if he was home?" James' voice was uncharacteristically small. "I suppose it's not the kind of thing you can just ask a person about. I'd be…" James couldn't find the right word. Frightened, he supposed, of anyone finding out and looking at his family differently. Not quite ashamed, but not quite not. James was a poor liar and tended to think of this as a mark of his good character, but it occurred to him in that moment that perhaps he simply had nothing to lie about. He looked at his hands on his lap, studying the crumbs on his fingers. How lucky he was, to have parents he loved and believed in, to have been safe and adored. To be so childish.

He had lost his appetite.

He glanced at Sirius from the corner of his eye and really looked at him. Of course, he knew his new best-friend, but he supposed he didn't really know him. He didn't really know Remus, either. Or Peter. He felt miles away, across the lake, alone in the mountains, despite the solid warmth of the boy beside him. It had never really entered James' head that there may be something about him that was genuinely unlikable – but here it was. He was childish. Childish and naïve. He felt naked and self-conscious by the cool water's edge.

"I'd like to be able to help." He said, looking directly at Sirius now. "But I don't think I'll be any good. I don't really know how to be… er… delicate about things." Thinking about his own inadequacies had been hard enough. He could hardly voice them.

Sirius met his gaze and smiled weakly. "Funny, 'cause I feel like I can never be bold enough to really do any good."

Never one to dwell in the darkness for long, James licked the crumbs off his fingers and grinned.

"That's why we're a great team!" he declared, putting an arm around Sirius' shoulders.

"Yeah," Sirius laughed. "Together we are like one whole person."

Sirius returned the hug with one awkward arm. He thought it might be the first time he had ever hugged a friend.

11 year old James has his first ever introspective thought lol.

Hahahaa... Hello.

I wonder if anyone will stumble back into this fic. I don't know what possessed me after all these years, but I just felt like making something again.

If you've read this - thank you very much!