NOTE: This chapter is based off of "Meet the Reaper," the pilot for Grim & Evil that was pitched to Cartoon Network and won the first Big Pick (bonus points for being the first one shown!). The show would almost always have three 7-minute clips per episode, which were usually two Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy ones sandwiching one Evil Con Carne one (sometimes the other way around, and there were some other exceptions too), before it was split in two separate shows after two seasons on the executives' insistence. There would also be Mandy (or Manny in this case) couch gags, which is why there's a short "script" at the beginning of this chapter and every third one after it.
And also ANOTHER NOTE: I do not own Grim & Evil, The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy, Evil Con Carne, or any of their characters (all of which are owned by Maxwell Atoms and/or Cartoon Network). The genderbent versions of Billy, Mandy, and Grim belong to everyone who envisions them (these particular versions belong to me), and everyone else in this fanfiction belongs to me. I hope that will clear any legal problems or debates here.
[Manny appears]
Manny: Shut up! Prepare for the show. [Disappears]
A toy soldier was moved up toward several others on an imaginary battlefield.
"This is it, women! Steady...here it comes!" said the person who was playing with them, who moved a toy monster toward the soldiers and imitated roaring.
That person was a 9-year-old girl named Billie, who had orange hair and a noticeably big bulbous nose. She wore a white T-shirt with a blue stripe in the middle, a dark blue skirt that went toward her knees, a pair of white socks, a pair of red and white tennis shoes, and a red baseball cap on her head; and was happy to be using her imagination and spreading joyful laughter everywhere on such a lovely day. She made the monster attack the other soldiers, a toy tank, and a toy plane, imitating them screaming and begging it to stop. "Aaah! Eeek! No! No! Aaaah! Aaaah! Stop attacking, Ms. Monster! We only wanted to be your friend!", she said as she moved the soldier in her hand toward the monster. "Oh, I'm sorry," she said in the monster's voice, "let's make up!" Billie made them kiss each other, giggling elatedly afterward. "Yaaaaay!" she yelled excitedly, setting the two figures down and throwing her hands up in the air, having finally resolved the conflict and saved the day.
Just then, a ray of light appeared near the monster, slowly moving in between it and the soldier. Fearing what would happen next, Billie gasped. "That's what happens when the monster melted the foolish soldier's brain..." said a voice as the light was angled directly toward the soldier's head, sealing her fate and setting a much darker tone for the story to continue.
The voice's owner was a blond-haired boy named Manny, who was holding a magnifying glass. He was around Billie's age and height; had his hair styled like devil horns; lacked a nose on his face; wore a pink T-shirt sporting a flower with blue petals and purple disc florets, a pair of matching pink shorts, a pair of white socks, and a pair of black tennis shoes with white laces; and carried an eerie air of darkness wherever he went. Ready to add his gloomy words to his and his friend's story; he summoned this darkness from the deepest depths of his imagination; directing it to smother the soldier, the monster, and the army on the cobblestone battlefield. He concentrated his firepower on the soldier's head, which began to melt from the solar power from his magnifying glass, finishing his contribution to the story with, "...with its heat ray vision."
The light continued further down the soldier's body until it went slightly below her waistline and Manny blew on her, causing her smoking remains to drop dead on the battlefield. "Awww," a saddened Billie said, taking out three more action figures, a man and two children around two fifths his height, "she had a husband and two kids!"
"She's better off now," Manny said back, looking through the magnifying glass one more time and reducing the soldier to a smoldering pile of melted green plastic. Billie sniffed and wiped her nose, and the melancholy look on her face was suddenly replaced by her usual cheerful smile. "How are you today, Manny?" she asked excitedly, ready to have some more fun with him.
But Manny stood there unamused, crossing his arms and giving his friend a long hard stare from his stone-cold eyes, waiting for her to obey whatever orders he thought of giving her. "You will take me to see Ms. Snuggles," he commanded, tapping his right foot on the floor.
"Ms. Snuggles?" Billie said, confused. Then she thought about it and realized what Manny was talking about. "Oh, it's her tenth birthday today!" Then she paused, zipped toward her friend, leaned close to his ear, and whispered "That's like a jillion in hamster years!" before zipping off to lead him to her house. Manny looked the other way, still not amused.
The two friends walked through the door of Billie's house, went upstairs, and entered her room. They walked across the space to see her hamster Ms. Snuggles, who was standing in her exercise wheel in the cage, barely making it move as she tried to run without aggravating the arthritis in her wrists and slightly above her right hip. She was very old and had really grayed fur (except some black strands sticking out of her darker spots and a few elsewhere) that had gotten messy over the years, sported a curled whisker on the left side of her face, and wore a blue party hat with a green stripe and a yellow topper. Apathetic at what day it was today, she continued trying her best to exercise as Billie watched her enthralled and Manny stood there equally apathetic. "It looks like she's about ready to kick the bucket," Manny said as the hamster kept trying to do a full rotation on her wheel.
But Billie, who had apparently let Manny's words go right through her ears, tapped on the cage and excitedly said, "Happy birthday, Ms. Snuggles!", startling her hamster. Then she turned to Manny and asked, "Hey, wanna see her do a trick?", lifting the lid off the cage.
"No," Manny responded as his friend took the hamster out with her hand.
But Billie, still not listening to Manny's points, held Ms. Snuggles close to her face. "Ms. Snuggles, kiss-kiss!", she shouted, excited to see this trick. But Ms. Snuggles, who was certainly not in the mood to be ordered around to do any tricks, started growling and hissing at her owner, her mouth foaming with furious saliva. She moved and shook around violently, preparing herself for an attack, and then jumped up toward Billie's face, attaching herself to the latter's big nose with her teeth while Manny stood there annoyed at his friend often missing his points. "Good girl!" Billie said, proud of her pet for performing that trick for them.
But Manny, still not amused, pointed his finger at Billie. "That was more of a bite than a kiss," he said frustratedly, while she pulled Ms. Snuggles off her nose and set her back in her cage a little carelessly. Ms. Snuggles panted heavily, struggling to catch her breath.
Then, suddenly, an eerie green light appeared in the center of the room, capturing Billie and Manny's attention and filling the vacuum inside the room with a dark shade of red and an uncanny sense of fear as if death was knocking on someone's door. It rotated around the center of the room like the Solar System around the Sun, yanking at anything within its reach to get it to join in at the center and giving a jolting feeling to the two kids and the hamster who started to feel its grip on their skin and hair/fur, and coalescing to create a bright sphere of light yellow light; while five foreboding green ghostly apparitions joined at this center to create a swirling effect that looked similar to the Milky Way galaxy rotating sideways like Uranus on its axis. The apparition galaxy whispered ominous things to all in its proximity, urging them to look inside it and see the life (or whatever) that awaited them when they came inside, as it continued to rotate for the next several seconds before it fell to the floor, as Billie and Manny braced for what would happen next. The effect turned into a column of bright greenish yellow light with green ghostly rings rising upward that emanated from a cloud of dark green smoke spreading out from where it had hit the ground, signaling the gloomy times that were impending upon those present. "What's that?" Billie asked, pointing at the column.
Manny walked up to it in response, sticking his finger in, observing the resulting ghostly flame for a few seconds, and then tasted it (extinguishing the flame). "It seems to be a swirling vortex of pure evil coming out of your floor," he said, taking a few steps back while Billie walked up next to him. He took another taste of the vortex a few seconds before it subsided and dropped completely to the floor. In its place stood a curved black five-pointed star shape that gave everything a far-from-relaxing bright blue glow and rotated counterclockwise (the opposite of the direction its points curved) for a few seconds before coming to a complete stop.
A tall black shape with a curved end emerged from the star shape at the bottom, rising higher before sputtering and forming a curve in its length. It continued going higher and higher until it reached its full height; frightening Billie into breathing heavily as she backed into the wall; and then turning around, jumping toward it, and latching onto it with her teeth (forming a crack in the process). The shadowy shape finished taking form as Manny watched, acquiring a pair of fearsome red eyes and forming a hood onto its head, and then unfolding two arms from its sides. These arms were very bony, had really oversized sleeves like a mage's robe, and the left one held a shadowy scythe with a bend in its snath's length (shaping it like a hockey stick minus its grip and blade), ready to find the next harvest for the day. This could only mean one thing: the Grim Reaper had arrived.
She emerged from the shadows of the vortex, ready to take her next victim's soul and fulfill her duty for the day. Looking through the sockets of the skull poking out of her black robe with a red inside, she spied Ms. Snuggles several inches in front of her, advancing upon her cage. The hamster jumped up and froze terrified as the personification of death took the lid off the cage, the latter grinning evilly at the former while she reached in there to grab her.
Billie, oblivious to what was going on around her, was pleasantly surprised to see this otherworldly being standing right in front of her in her very room. "Oh, oh, look!" she said, pointing her finger at the reaper. "It's Santina! It's Santina Claus!"
The Grim Reaper heard Billie's words as she held Ms. Snuggles by her tail and the hamster shook herself in an attempt to get free, taken aback by what the big-nosed girl had said. Her malevolent grin was instantly replaced by a look of shock, and the eerie glow disappeared from the room. "That's not Santina, you stooge," Manny said, frustratedly walking toward his friend. "That's the Grim Reaper."
But Billie just stood there, still confused. "Do I still get presents?" she asked the skeletal figure, rubbing her forehead above her right eye.
"Uh, well..." the Grim Reaper repsonded in a deep Jamaican-accented voice, thinking it over and still holding Ms. Snuggles (who had stopped trying to fight back). "No. Actually, I'm here for the hamster."
"Oh boy, oh boy!" Billie said, jumping up and down at the thought of her pet getting some nice Christmas presents on her birthday. "You brought presents for Ms. Snuggles?" she continued, grabbing the reaper's robes and dragging them toward her.
"No," Grim said, pushing the girl off of her with her scythe and knocking her to the ground. "I'm taking her away." She dusted the lower part of her robes using the hamster's body.
"To the North Pole?" Billie asked, still oblivious, and poking her head up.
"No." Grim began to reply, looking away. "I..." she continued, but Ms. Snuggles pulled herself up and bit the skeletal figure in the tip of the metacarpal bone, causing Grim to scream as she spun it around rapidly like a bike wheel on her radius and ulna. Ms. Snuggles jumped inside her owner's shirt and tried to find a comfortable place, which caused Billie to dance around briefly. "Look," continued Grim, walking over toward a desk on the other side of the door, "I'm just doing my job. But I'm afraid it's curtains..." She made a slitting motion across her atlas and axis with her left hand. "...for Ms. Snuggles."
Billie, still not getting Grim's point, stood there, trying to wrap her brain around this argument. "You got her curtains?" she asked, scratching her forehead with her left hand.
Grim face-palmed herself as Manny walked over beside his friend and cleared his throat. "You'll have to forgive Billie," he said, as Billie rubbed her left eye with her thumb. "She's an idiot."
"Look!" Grim said, waiting for their terrified reactions. "Aren't you two scared?!" She tried to think of how to scare them, starting with an irritated "Boo! Blah!" But the two kids just stood there, not fazed by her attempts, while Ms. Snuggles popped out of Billie's right sleeve. Grim scoffed in response, thinking of what to do next. "Oh, come on!", she said a little exasperatedly, "I'm a walking skeleton!" She pulled up the lower part of her robe to show her legs and pelvis. "Isn't that scary?", she continued, pacing around and becoming more irritated with each passing second.
"Hey!" Billie interrupted, grabbing the scythe. "Can I see your hockey stick?" She snatched it out of the Reaper's hands, struggling to regain her balance as she walked backwards. When she stopped, she looked at a toy robot with treads for wheels, claws for hands, blue eyes, an orange dome surrounding its face, and an antenna. She aimed the scythe like a golf club, ready to smack the robot toward a hole-in-one. "Fore!" she yelled as she took a good strong swing, sending the toy flying across the room, hitting Grim in the face, and knocking out one of her teeth (which made her rub her head and close her left eye).
"Ms. Reaper," said Manny, taking Grim by the hand as the latter continued rubbing her head and leading her to the tea table to the other side of another door, "you are truly a horrific and powerful figure and..." He pushed a stuffed animal out of one of the chairs, while Grim sat down. "I respect that," he continued, walking toward another chair across from Grim and jumping into it. "However, I cannot allow you to take Ms. Snuggles." He poured a cup of tea.
"How dare you give orders to me!" Grim thundered, pounding on the table with flat hands. "I have powers you can't possibly imagine!" she continued as she menacingly got into Manny's face and pointed her finger at him, which went downward almost immediately after she said this.
"Tea?" Manny asked nonchalantly, clinking his cup against the teapot.
Grim picked it up and looked inside for a few moments. "Oh, thank you," she said, her fury replaced by a relieved smile. She tried to gulp down her tea, but it went right through the big hole in her mandible and spilled right onto her lap. Her happiness quickly changed to shock, embarrassed at the puddle on her robe.
However, this relaxing moment was cut short by Billie still playing with the Reaper's scythe (and trying to regain her balance again) as Manny poured himself a cup of tea. She made a hole in the table with the blade, briefly swinging onto the snath and then letting go. "Aw, you stained your dress," she said, landing on the floor upright.
"It's not a dress!" Grim yelled, the fury returning in her voice as she wrung out the wet area. She took her scythe from the table and ordered, "Now give me the hamster!", as she stretched her right arm out.
Billie removed Ms. Snuggles from the inside of her shirt, reaching out to give the reaper the hamster. But Manny stopped her by grabbing her arm and saying, "No!"
"No?" Grim replied in disbelief. "Well, why not?!"
"I'll make you a deal," Manny said, climbing on top of the table and putting his hands behind his back. "We will play a game with you. If you win, you can have Ms. Snuggles."
Grim raised her right brow ridge at this idea. "Ooh! Ooh! Can she have me too?" Billie asked, waving her hand in the air as if she were in class and she really wanted the teacher to call on her.
Manny hesitated as Billie pointed to herself and touched her nose. "Yes," he said, "and if we win, we keep Ms. Snuggles."
The Grim Reaper stood there, elated at the game she was ready to play with them. She laughed evilly for a few seconds, and then said, "I love games, and I never lose," brandishing her scythe and gleefully anticipating the outcome and the prospects of taking the gray hamster's soul.
"Neither do I," Manny said in reply.
"Hmmm..." Grim said, thinking about the wager one more time, "if you win—which you won't..." She got into Manny's face one more time for a few moments on the last three words before she pulled back. "I'll be your best friend forever." She walked over toward the cage again and opened a purple portal with her scythe, laughing maniacally. "Follow me," she beckoned them in there, briefly resisting the air sucking her inside before she was completely enveloped.
The other three watched this happen, also anticipating the game they would play. "Gulp," Billie said, as they were also sucked inside with some resistance from their bodies (which briefly stetched out before they returned to normal and were completely enveloped by the purple light).
The portal led them to another dimension, where everything was a much redder hue, foreshadowing the high stakes Billie and Manny would have to place their bet upon in order to keep Ms. Snuggles' soul. The sky was very red and cloudy with a swirling texture in these clouds that added some curved highlights, the ground was very hard and rocky with a pink light to reflect back to the eyes, and there were purple curved arches everywhere (some of which were transparent at the bottoms). The area had the smell of a mix of yesterday's homework, cold autumn air, strong coffee like the kind Manny liked to drink with his breakfast, stamps to be sent on their envelopes with their ink and return stickers, pencil shavings, hand sanitizer from a porta-potty long overdue to be dumped toward the septic trucks (and the porta-potty itself), a collection of old records covered in dust, a hint of burning rubber from trees, and a tinge of murky river water; while the air tasted like a combination of stale bread, month-old orange juice, burned plastic, old newspapers, long-expired dog food from rusted cans, and soggy pancakes with six-year-old freezer burn; and the only sounds that could be heard were faint conversations and monotonous classical compositions in pianissississimo. The purple overhead light made itself known as it opened fire upon the ground below; spitting out two human skeletons, followed by two sets of muscles and organs and two more of skin and other features (which landed on top of the skeletons to form Billie and Manny); and a hamster skeleton followed by its organs, muscles, skin, fur, and other features (which formed Ms. Snuggles, who landed in Billie's hands, when it finished).
Grim walked up to the three mortals while this was happening. "Welcome to Limbo," she said when the process finished itself, walking backward to demonstrate what they would be doing, "where we'll be playing my favorite game..." She stopped near two stacks of six decorative calaveras each, then came back to them, stopping in front of them again. She tapped her scythe on the ground; which tranformed into a stick with five sections of green, yellow, and red that she caught with her hands. "Limbo!" she continued, walking over to the calavera stacks. "How low...", she challenged as she put in the two top skull decorations, "can you go?"
She started the game by walking toward the stacks with a dance in her step, leaning backwards 90° at her sacrum when she reached the stick, and easily going under it as she went through it. When she had cleared the first challenge, she leaned back upright, turning back to the two humans and the hamster. "Your turn," she dared Manny, laughing maniacally as he walked under it without having to lean. When she saw this, her evil grin was replaced by a look of shock and slight enlightenment when Manny cleared it. "I think we need to make a slight adjustment," she pointed out, moving the stick downward to the third calaveras from the top. Then, leaning over toward Billie, she patted her on the head and told her, "Your turn," laughing maniacally again as she leaned back over.
Billie dropped the hamster and ran toward the limbo stick, with Ms. Snuggles running after her. She did a little dance when she stopped, and then leaned over and managed to make it under without much effort despite her giant bulbous nose, while Ms. Snuggles walked up through the skull decorations on the stack to her owner's right. The big-nosed girl did a victory pose and bowed before an unamused Grim and Manny, who had their arms akimbo and crossed respectively. Grim grunted frustratedly, walking toward the stacks and placing the limbo stick in the mouths of the second calaveras from the bottom, more intent than ever on getting her victory and Ms. Snuggles' soul. "That should do it," she said, proudly anticipating the kids' loss that would soon come.
Billie ran back toward the stacks and the stick, eyeing the latter and seeing how low she would have to go in order to clear that challenge. "Gosh, I can't go that low," she said worriedly.
"Ah, but I CAN," Grim replied, ready to see the three mortals' scared reactions she had been waiting for for the last several minutes. She leaned down 90° at her lateral malleoli as she prepared to walk the other way through the stacks of calaveras. Shortly after her toes had passed through, she taunted at Manny, "Oh, uh...any last words before you lose?"
"Just two," the noseless boy said, looking down at Grim's skull. "Kiss-kiss."
Ms. Snuggles, who was still sitting in the top calavera on Grim's left, heard these words and prepared herself to do another trick, ready to attack her next target. Grim looked up at the hamster as she went foaming with rage again, shaking violently again before she jumped down into the reaper's right eye socket, causing the latter to scream as Billie slammed her teeth and eyes shut.
"Oh! Oh! Get it off of me!" Grim cried, standing up, moving around, and struggling to get the hamster out of her face as the two kids watched. She turned backward, shaking her head to get the hamster out, and then trying to shake her off of her right pointer finger (which caused her to lose her balance and knock the limbo stick loose). When the reaper stopped, she waved her arms in order to keep her balance, but she fell flat on her back, surprised and embarrassed at her loss.
"You lose," Manny said, walking up to the vanquished Reaper.
"But...but...th-this isn't fair!" Grim wailed as Ms. Snuggles emerged from her left eye socket and jumped out toward the two kids.
"A deal is a deal," Manny replied, holding out his hands for Billie's hamster to jump in. "We keep Ms. Snuggles," he continued as Grim got up and Billie walked up next to him.
Billie grinned, ecstatic her hamster would live to finish her birthday. "Yeah," she agreed elatedly as she walked up to Grim, "and now you're our best friend forever!" She jabbed Grim in the pelvic area, wiggling her finger around.
Grim shuddered at the new life she'd have to face now that she'd lost the game she loved so much, and to three inexperienced mortals (two children and one hamster) no less. "No..." she sniffled with tears in her eyes, "this is impossible!" Then, as the other three watched her break down and put her hands on her ribcage, she burst out, "I am the Grim Reaper!" She threw her fists in the air, and continued, "Master of the forces of life and death!"
"Not anymore," Manny replied, with a firm look in his eyes. Then, shortly after, he ordered Grim to reopen the portal back to their dimension and go with them there, which she did reluctantly, still sore about her loss.
That night, Grim was sleeping with both of her new "best friends," still feeling miserable about having lost her freedom and worried about what the upcoming day would bring.
Her body was in Billie's bed, wearing a pair of pink pajamas, holding the covers for comfort and to secure her sanity, and anticipating the ever-energetic Billie making her entrance at any moment. The door opened, and sure enough, the big-nosed girl was standing inside, wearing her baseball cap and a pair of sky blue footie pajamas, and ready to have some more fun before bed. She bounded in, with a skip in her step, and then jumped inside her bed, giggling and hoping to bond more with her new skeletal "best friend." "See?" he said excitedly. "Being our best friend is pretty fun, huh?" Grim crossed her arms, unamused. "And the best part is," Billie continued, hugging Grim's body, "you can sleep over at both our houses!" She grabbed the pillow on her side of the bed, bursting out "Oh, pillow fight!" and hitting Grim in the atlas repeatedly.
Meanwhile, in Manny's bed, Grim's skull was lying down and feeling the impact of Billie's blows, writhing and jostling around in pain. After a while, this took a lull, and the skull turned to look at Manny, who was wearing a pair of short mint green pajamas and matching slippers and reading a book in bed. "I loathe you," she said stonily as Manny looked back at her, just as the pillow beatings resumed. The noseless boy smirked at this torture while Ms. Snuggles popped out of Grim's right eye socket one last time. "Why me?" Grim cried one last time before she went to sleep, dreading the less-than-ideal life ahead of her starting tomorrow.
Although this was a humiliating loss for the Grim Reaper; it was the start of a strange chain of supernatural events that was set to begin tomorrow; which would involve her, her two "best friends," and a parade of others they would encounter; opening up a lot of unusual opportunities. Maybe Grim's new life wouldn't be so bad after all, but for now, it was time to go to bed and take in everything new that would happen. There was, after all, some excitement still to be had, even with everything Billie and Manny would put her through.
That's the genderbent pilot for the show! Next up is "Evil Con Carne," essentially the pilot for the show of the same name (evident from the initial lower-quality animation), where General Skarr was loyal to Hector (or in this case Hectara) unlike the final Evil Con Carne (or Genderbent Evil Con Carne) version before (s)he was transferred over to The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy (or The Grim Adventures of Billie & Manny) who was willing to betray him (or her) to dominate the world. I'll get it up as soon as I can, so be on the lookout, and get ready to read it when it goes up!